Cheerio/Howdy! I'm working on a piece in which the S.A.W. (strong, assertive woman) not into the dominatrix or BDSM scene, must nevertheless inflict some corporal punishment on her significant male other. Lacking the usual tools dommes always seem to have, she casts about for a suitable paddle and finds a cricket paddle, souvenir of a trip to London. Would a cricket bat, applied to the gluteus maximus with proper vigor, create the desired effect without injuring the badly behaved gentleman? And were she to drill some holes in the bat, as my cover artist depicts in Dominion Vote, enhance the effectiveness of the bat for this purpose? It is understood that such perforations on a bit used in the game itself would be a disqualifying act similar to corking the bat in our baseball.