Better ways for a time skip (a matter of days or weeks)

[Baryonyx]

Going through my first draft, and I have really overused "A few days later" or words and phrases to that effect. Anyone got any better ways to show that a few days have passed, rather than flat out stating it?

The book takes place in a span of around 6 weeks--so I can't use the old summer to winter transition by describing the snow or the trees.

It's something I find tricky to do.

 

[tusenord]

If you're using 1st person POV or internal 3rd person you could use the character's experience - if they travel: "Another ten blisters in three days wasn't bad, but the splinter I got from getting wood had started to fester." or "He hadn't slept properly for a week, they were getting nowhere on finding X and he couldn't stop tossing and turning trying to figure it out."

 

[Baryonyx]

If you're using 1st person POV or internal 3rd person you could use the character's experience - if they travel: "Another ten blisters in three days wasn't bad, but the splinter I got from getting wood had started to fester." or "He hadn't slept properly for a week, they were getting nowhere on finding X and he couldn't stop tossing and turning trying to figure it out."

Thanks, it is 3rd person. But doing stuff like that is a nice, easy way around it.

cheers

 

[K.S. Crooks]

You can have things in the person's environment state the date such as tv, radio, signs on a store. They could go for breakfast and get the Monday special. If the reader knows it's Thursday and the character wakes the next morning, then the reader will know its now Friday.

 

[CMBright]

If this is for your iguanodons, I might think of plants, flower to seed. Regrowth of grazing areas. Different species have different mating times and durations. Moon phases, if they are awake long enough to observe it. If there are trees, time from green leaves to color to bare branches.

Basically, what would your character notice? How would they express time. If they would say the Monday special at Mom's diner (modern person, modern setting), use that. If it is an herbivore, maybe they would notice that snow has given way to spring flooding.

 

[Woollybear]

Going through my first draft, and I have really overused "A few days later" or words and phrases to that effect. Anyone got any better ways to show that a few days have passed, rather than flat out stating it?

The book takes place in a span of around 6 weeks--so I can't use the old summer to winter transition by describing the snow or the trees.

It's something I find tricky to do.

The color of bruises changes. Cuts and scrapes begin to heal. Beards grow. Predators develop an appetite. Seeds sprout.

It's also possible that you are "telling" a lot in this draft. I believe you posted an action scene and it felt like an early draft. It's common for some of us to tell too much in our early drafts. Converting that to more effective telling and effective showing and also other modes besides telling/showing is gratifying work. If you are, in fact, telling a lot, and in ineffective ways, it will be present throughout the draft and not just in this one particular crutch.

Your final draft might end up with 'not much,' if any, indicators of time passing. The story might reach a point where the time passing bits aren't needed.

Or not. Enjoy the process.

 

[Baryonyx]

Moon phases, if they are awake long enough to observe it. If there are trees, time from green leaves to color to bare branches.

Moon phases is a good one! I actually use moons rather than months when past events (before the book are referred to). Either many Moons ago or many summers ago.

This book takes place in the span of 6 weeks or so, so that would definitely work!
Tree one wouldn't as it is set in roughly late spring.