my dream his hobby

I think you're being much too sensitive. You don't have a monopoly on dreams.

If your father works full time to support his family, then writing is a hobby -- as it is for many writers. Most of us have to work to pay the bills, and writing is what we do in our spare time. Anything we do in our spare time is a hobby, even if we're published occasionally.

I applaud your father. His hobby could be going to the pub and drinking himself silly every night.

Is your dad even trying to get published? Or did he write a book, as you say, as a hobby? Not everyone who writes is in it for publication. The only person who can really make you feel better about this is your father, so I suggest speaking with him.

Also, two chapters in two years? Part of writing professionally is having the discipline to sit down and put words to the page. At that rate, you'll finish your first draft somewhere in the year 2018. Don't let yourself get caught up in research (it's really easy to do!). Don't let your dad's manuscript deter you from yours.

Butt In Chair. Good luck.

I dont have any advice but you have the stuff of a real good book right there in that fascinating situation you just described.

Have you read The World According to Garp by John Irving? Fab book. See the movie. The situation you're in sounds similar to Garp's.

So...your dream inspired a dream in your father. And, he took said dream and ran with it and has a finished MS in a year. And instead of being all proud of him and what you sparked in him, you're jealous and resentful that he's farther ahead than you? He put in the focus, you haven't. Tinkering with the first 2 chapters isn't going to complete a book -- and your father's proof of that.

You could be proudly trumpeting how you inspired your dad and you're going to be a family of writers. Instead, you're complaining that your father might be successful at this faster than you. Maybe if you spent this time and energy writing, say, chapter 3, instead of being resentful of your father, you two could both be proudly holding completed manuscripts.

Stephen King's son wrote a book. I haven't read it, but the title is fabulous. He published it under a pseudonym, and even though people figured it out, I kinda doubt your father will be more famous than Stephen King.

Maybe this is the motivation you need to get your butt in gear and actually finish something.

Consider this - in the 2 years that you've been writing those 2 chapters, there have been at least 20 thousand other books published. Are you jealous or worried about all of those other authors?

So, why worry about your father and his potential success? Be proud of him as he will be of you.

I've written a novel, published 2 short stories, written a dozen others, started 3 novels, and rewritten my first novel 5 more times in that 2 years. The first draft of my book was done in 35 writing days (the research required 55 days, but to be honest most of those days I was working full-time and only spent a few hours doing actual research). My first draft was immensely detailed in it's scientific detail and much of that detail was info-dumping and had to be cut & rearranged. How much research do you really need to put into your book? I'd say it's not 2 years worth so I'd say you enjoy the research more than you do the writing. That's okay though. Contrary to popular opinion everyone does not have a book in them.

Writing can be fun & enjoyable simply as a hobby, but writing is not fun when you let yourself become worried or jealous over someone else's accomplishments.

I'm also of the opinion, being a 48-year old curmudgeon, that writers need to have some life experience before they really can write. We've all heard the wild success stories of the guy who sold his first novel at 16 or 18 or become a millionaire before he was 21. Those are, for the most part, urban myths or miracles of success. For every 16-year old novelist success there are at least a million others unsuccessful.

Let me dispell another myth - it's likely neither you nor your father are going to be able to quit your day jobs to become a writer full-time. It just isn't going to happen. For every successful J.K. Rowling there's a million John Smith's who keep working and churning out a book a year at the same time, unrecognized, underpaid, and undersold. Chances are very, very high you're not going to get rich through your writing.

Now, with that said, it can be safely said that those million John Smith's are quite happy and reasonably well off doing what they do. They've gone to school (or back to school), learned a trade, have a home and family, a car, enough money to take a vacation every now and then, and they still find the time to write. What counts is that they're happy.

Do what makes you happy - not what you think will make you happy. There's a big difference and the grass is always greener somewhere else. If doing the research makes you happier than actually writing your book, hey, I think you found something you can do, and do very well, that makes you happy. You could do a lot worse and, guess what, you can make a buck off of doing research for other people or becoming an expert in that particular field.

I think your father will be proud of you no matter what.

Perhaps this can be your impetus to turn from being serious about writing to doing some serious writing.

wolfgirl said:

Just last week i went through to visit with my family and he told me he had finished his novel.

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Isn't that the best incentive to get stuck into your writing and get published. Stop fiddling about with the little bit you've done. Just keep writing and do the editing/re-writing later. Good luck.

I agree with the others that you should be happy and proud of your father. And look at it this way, he obviously has respect for you because he actually listened to what you were telling him about writing and thought your idea was so great that he actually spent 2 years working on it. Maybe he is trying to make you proud of him.
I've had lots of different business interests that I've tried to communicate with my parents about. They didn't understand how me and Hubby could make enough money to support our family by starting our own business that we could quit our day jobs. I've tried to discuss this with them and gave them all the educational videos, tapes, books, and even offered to help them structure their own stuff, but they've never taken an interest in what I was doing. Finally after 6 years, they've stopped asking me when I was going to get a 'real' job.
Maybe this is his way of having something in common with you. Maybe this will give the 2 of you a connection that no one else in your family can grasp.
If either of my parents started writing, or anything that I've had a mild interest in, I'd be on cloud 9.

It sounds to me like you're too uptight. Not just with jealousy and such, as others have pointed out, but in your whole approach to writing. It seems to me like you're so stressed about getting your book perfect that you can't even get it done.

So embrace this: We all start out with a dream and next to no skills. The first step is finishing a novel, then you worry about making it (or the next one) a good novel. Allow yourself to completely suck. Allow your first novel to be nothing more than a thinly veiled "If I won the lottery" tale disguised as an urban fantasy story (no, not me, I never did that :/) One step at a time.

I do not know of one author, not one, who lets their rough drafts out even to their first readers. I don't let anyone see it until my third draft. The first draft is supposed to be loaded with cliches and typos and horribly grammar. The other drafts are meant to fix that.

As for your father... everyone is different. It's one of the hardest things to embrace on the writing path. You absolutely cannot compare your career (or dreams) to anyone else's because not even they understand how exactly things came together to get them that sale. Writing is a combination of skill, hard work (which earns you that skill) and sheer luck. Any author will tell you that.

As other people pointed out, maybe your dad has no intention of ever publishing his novel (or even letting it see the light of day). And maybe it sucks so bad no one will ever want it and he'll give up. But that shouldn't matter to you. You should have the warm squishies because he was inspired by you. You have in a small way been a role model for him. That's an honor and I think you'll discover as you head into your adult years that someone you love and admire so much being inspired by you is more valuable than a publishing contract.

Hi and congrats on what you've done. It sounds like you have some kind of family dynamic that may not have anything to do with the fact you are both writing.

We want an identity apart from our parents. But I think it's actually pretty special when we can share dreams rather than compete. If he does get there first, that could also open doors for you. But then again, he'd have to be a pretty good writer to hit it big on the first shot, and if that's the case, you can feel good that you helped him discover an ability he may not have known about.

Either way, I hope you both find your dreams.

Nate

Don't worry about what your father is doing and don't worry about editing those two chapers yet. Plant your butt in a chair and write something. One chapter a year isn't going to cut it. Writers write, you aren't doing that, you're doing everything except writing.

Bugging, isn't it? But where do you get your story-telling urge from? If your father isn't the source, perhaps he shares one with you, e.g. your gran/his mum. If he doesnt take it seriously; well, that's probably a generational/culture thing.

On a practical level, your father probably has more time than you to write - retired? - and the life experience to help himn complete the project.

Most of all though, if you're still stuck on 2 chapters after so many years, then, probably, a lack of basic technical skills is stopping you realise your vision. Humbly suggest you read:
A longer list of useful resources here.

wolfgirl, be proud of your dad and appreciate the fact that you have a common interest you can share and talk about.

My children are now adults, but it wasn't until I was past forty that I had the time and freedom to write. I'd love it if one of my kids shared my interest/hobby/dream - call it what you choose. Anyone who has the dedication to complete a book has a true love of writing. Your father just had to wait until he had the opportunity to follow his dream, but that doesn't make it any less important than your own dream.

In seconding the opinions above, I'd like to address the "hobby" statement. This word is sometimes used to downplay the importance of an activity, either by the person practicing the activity or by others in response to the person's dedication. Sometimes it is used as a catch-all phrase by people who have a full-time day job--to highlight their other interests. To assume the word "hobby" implies less dedication or seriousness to the activity is a horrible generalization. I have known people whose dedication to and seriousness toward their hobbies were total (obsessive in some cases) and dwarfed their motivation for the activities that put food on their tables*.


*This is not a negative reflection on their competence in their day jobs.

NeuroFizz said:

In seconding the opinions above, I'd like to address the "hobby" statement. This word is sometimes used to downplay the importance of an activity, either by the person practicing the activity or by others in response to the person's dedication. Sometimes it is used as a catch-all phrase by people who have a full-time day job--to highlight their other interests. To assume the word "hobby" implies less dedication or seriousness to the activity is a horrible generalization. I have known people whose dedication to and seriousness toward their hobbies were total (obsessive in some cases) and dwarfed their motivation for the activities that put food on their tables*.


*This is not a negative reflection on their competence in their day jobs.

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Thank you.

Writing is not a hobby for me, and I get quite steamed when my hub says my writing is a hobby.

Personally, I find it really cool that writing is an interest/passion/hobby that the two of you share. Not everyone has that with other family members, and it's something that can bring the two of you closer if you let it. Plus it can be fun.

My husband is a writer (science fiction/fantasy as well as freelancing), as is my niece (science fiction/fantasy), in addition to me (science fiction/fantasy in addition to freelancing). None of us is published yet, but it's still cool. It's fun to toss ideas around and, more importantly, to have people who are important to me who actually understand what I'm talking about.

Plus we're all in the same genres, which just beats all. The husband and I play in the same universes, with some of the same characters. the husband and I helped my niece with some of her character/world building/plot development. I ran with another idea my niece had (with her complete permission, of course - it was a GREAT idea that she wasn't going to use). It's FUN to do this sort of thing.

So, you know, my advice would be to learn how to enjoy this. It could be great.

JeanneTGC said:

So...your dream inspired a dream in your father. And, he took said dream and ran with it and has a finished MS in a year. And instead of being all proud of him and what you sparked in him, you're jealous and resentful that he's farther ahead than you? He put in the focus, you haven't. Tinkering with the first 2 chapters isn't going to complete a book -- and your father's proof of that.

You could be proudly trumpeting how you inspired your dad and you're going to be a family of writers. Instead, you're complaining that your father might be successful at this faster than you. Maybe if you spent this time and energy writing, say, chapter 3, instead of being resentful of your father, you two could both be proudly holding completed manuscripts.

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Thank you for saying what I was thinking. I'm sensing much bitterness that is uncalled for. I don't like it at all. It's rather ugly.

wolfgirl said:

hi you are all so right i am being resentful when i should be happy i do feel bad for feeling this way.
I am going to put some serious work in on my novel and ask if i can read his as we are writing in different styles hes writing a book about bent coppers and im writing a book about child hood fears coming true so we are completely different in our styles.
thanks for all the advice

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It's childhood. One word.

KTC said:

Thank you for saying what I was thinking. I'm sensing much bitterness that is uncalled for. I don't like it at all. It's rather ugly.

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My broadband broke while I was in the middle of my initial response. Argh. Just to say here: I don't think preaching is necessarily all that helpful. Jealousy is notoriously difficult to dislodge and won't respond to the Moral High Ground.

Part of the writing experience is finding that other people outstrip us and if we value this craft at all, that makes us jealous. I know because it's happened to me. The cure for jealousy is increasing confidence and raising one's game. In a way, the OP's father is showing the way and in fairness to him is raising the stakes for her to catch up with him. His drive is a model she should follow.

To the OP - raise your game and kick Dad's ass

And had she come on here and said, "My dad pisses me off so much. I told him I was writing a book and he went and wrote one and finished his before me. I'm going to show him. I'm going to sit down and write the hell out of a book and get it done." I may not have suggested the petty ugliness.

To the OP...what you have to do is WRITE. There are thousands--millions--of people out there writing books. Just sit down and write the thing and pay no attention to what your father--or anyone else--is doing. It's not a race. What you DO have to do is just write it and leave those two chapters alone. Just write the entire first draft and then worry about tinkering with it. Maybe that's what you should take from your father--his ability to write it down. You're stopping yourself from moving forward. He's not stopping you.

I have always wanted to write a novel as well. From the time I was able to write I have written short stories that I never even considered publishing. It has always been a hobby for me, even now I just write when I have the time because I have a family I have to support. It wasn't until last year that I decided to write an actual novel that I could send in and try to get published. Before I began writing I did my research on facts I thought I might use then I did research for tips given by other writers on how to get that project finished. One thing I learned is that you need to write a little everyday if possible. Also, that if you think of something you want to change, make note of it and wait until you are finished with the manuscript to go back and change it, because if you keep going back to change things and add things what happens is that two years later you are barely on chapter two. I finished the first draft on my manuscript in one year and I am still learning what to do once it is finished. As, far as what your father has done. If it bothers you that much pick up you game and get that book finished, because it takes time to get it published, if that is indeed what he intends to do. Good Luck.