The only good spider is a dead spider (no spidery pics please!)

[scarletpeaches]

dpaterso removed them and dumped them in another thread.

 

[jennifer75]

I stomp spiders. I smush spiders. I lysol spiders. I aqua-net spiders. I spear spiders with pencils. I flick spiders. I drown spiders.

And they ALWAYS find a way back.

 

[lucidzfl]

dpaterso removed them and dumped them in another thread.

My idea of erotica is a half a fifth of bourbon and an issue of hustler magazine in a quiet bathroom while the wife sleeps.

I should stick to sci fi.

 

[Samantha's_Song]

Why do you need Hustler when you have a perfectly good woman in the bedroom? My hubby never has to resort to women on glossy paper.

My idea of erotica is a half a fifth of bourbon and an issue of hustler magazine in a quiet bathroom while the wife sleeps.

I should stick to sci fi.

 

[jennifer75]

Thanks to this thread.....and well, the huge spider that I found hanging on the porch....I had THE SPIDER DREAM last night.....the one where the spider is HUGE and FLIES at you from all angles, and eventually gets ya. THAT dream.

 

[Elaine Margarett]

<shrug>

I confess I don't get the whole "fear of spiders." Anything I can kill so easily is nothing to be afraid of.

Plus, I'm a long time equestrian. Spiders and barns go hand in hand.

 

[scarletpeaches]

I refer you to Article 5, paragraph seven, subsection D of the dpaterso Ruling on Arachnids, circa 2009 which states:

Spiders are evil. Kill them. Kill them all!

I thank you.

 

[RLB]

Eight legs? Pshaw, that's nothing. One of these came catapulting out of the drain at me the other day. Those guys are fast. Squealing, shrieking, hopping, I furiously bailed water on it as it tried to climb the sheer side of the sink and come at me. I prevailed.

I'll take a spider over that any day.

 

[scarletpeaches]

I'm not clicking. What was it?

 

[CatSlave]

A gazillion-legged centipede.

*BOO*

 

[RLB]

One of those centipede-y millipede-y things with the unholy number of legs and the waving antennae ICK ICK ICK

 

[Samantha's_Song]

I did venture to look and I wouldn't want that thing anywhere near me. But now I've closed the window and he can't hear me, he looks just like someone's tatty old moustache. Yeah, I can say that once I'm not looking at him anymore.

 

[CatSlave]

I can sympathize with folks who are spider-phobic.

Although I feel spiders have many redeeming good qualities, I have an absolute horror of *cockroaches* eww eww eww especially the big Palmetto bugs in Florida that can FLY and have some kind of radar that tells them when a phobic person is in the vicinity, like a shark, and attacks them on sight.

They are relentless and practically unkillable, and they will get on you when you sleep and bite you. Really.

AARRGHHH...I'm freaking myself out.

But spiders eat roaches, and that makes them just fine and dandy in my book.

 

[Sweetleaf]

I contemplated posting a picture of a weta, but I'm not that cruel.

They're completely harmless, but... EWW!!!

 

[chocowrites]

You people are all braver than me. If I see spider, I get the shivers. I can't even be in the same room with it, let alone kill it (what else is family for?). The worstest one was the neon green one, the size of my hand at least, that was perched on the top corner of the sliding door. I didn't go out in the backyard for a week at least after seeing that one. I was afraid it was going to eat me in my sleep. The stuff of of nightmares...

It isn't much fun going on "nature walks" around here either. There are spider webs everywhere, linking the trees together. It is basically one giant web that stretches between the trees for miles and miles. Most of the time the spiders are lurking off somewhere, clicking and creeping *shudders and begins twitching*. If you ever see one...they're big and hairy, and put tarantulas to shame!

 

[scarletpeaches]

I live on my own, so I have to deal with shit like this. Once I got my dad to come round because I found a REALLY BIG spider in my hall and he had to have at it with a kitchen knife.

But since then...meh. Vacuum for the big 'uns. Glass and piece of card and down the toilet for the wee 'uns.

 

[dpaterso]

Important message to field troops:

Toilet plungers make excellent anti-monster weapons.

Rubber cup prevents monster's escape. I have you now!

Long handle prevents possibility of physical contact. But hold it at arm's length anyway, just in case.

One violent thrust is enough to splat monster. DIE, MONSTER, DIE!

Afterwards, plunger goes down the toilet bowl, flush toilet, swirl, shake, weapon ready for next deployment.

Looked in the bathtub.
It was a big 'un.
Big long body.
Lots of big legs.
I plunged the monster.
I flushed the plunger.
Monster is gone now.
I am not sad.

-Derek

 

[spamwarrior]

I kind of like spiders. Spiders are my friends.

But then again, a flush down the toilet for all of them. I can't come up with unique ways to kill them.

 

[Ken]

... spiders are cool and intelligent.
Have had several as pets ^^..^^
I bet many of you would come to like them too if you spent some time about them.

 

[Sophia]

Important message to field troops:

Toilet plungers make excellent anti-monster weapons.

Rubber cup prevents monster's escape. I have you now!

Long handle prevents possibility of physical contact. But hold it at arm's length anyway, just in case.

But, Field Marshall Paterson, what for those of us for whom even a long handle isn't enough? They could run up it and up my sleeve! No handle is long enough!

Day before yesterday, was sitting on sofa about to have first forkful of pasta for lunch when giant monstrosity spied sitting leering on carpet near foot. Screamed, "You bastard!" and leapt up, whimpered a bit, decided there was no pint glass big enough to put over it, emptied fruit bowl and thought about hefting it over the creature. Meanwhile, beast is running around along skirting board and doing circuits of dining room and hallway. Decided fruit bowl too heavy to lob accurately from a distance. Saw foul denizen of the deep crawl into shoe rack. Set up surveillance station and maintained watch until hubby home from work. Hell beast vacuumed, vacuum cleaner emptied into outside bin. Lunch cold. Like my revenge.

 

[AnonymousWriter]

I live on my own, so I have to deal with shit like this. Once I got my dad to come round because I found a REALLY BIG spider in my hall and he had to have at it with a kitchen knife.

But since then...meh. Vacuum for the big 'uns. Glass and piece of card and down the toilet for the wee 'uns.

Just pick them up and set them free out the door or the window...

It's easy.


Really.

 

[Rarri]

Well we squished one today. A big one. A proper spidery one. It was huge. And what did brave Mummy use to squish said spider? A snail and a whale.

<shrug>

I confess I don't get the whole "fear of spiders." Anything I can kill so easily is nothing to be afraid of.

Plus, I'm a long time equestrian. Spiders and barns go hand in hand.

Y'know something, though i've been a groom, in all my time in stables, i've only seen a handful of spiders. Plenty rats, sure, but they're not so bad.

Day before yesterday, was sitting on sofa about to have first forkful of pasta for lunch when giant monstrosity spied sitting leering on carpet near foot. Screamed, "You bastard!" and leapt up, whimpered a bit, decided there was no pint glass big enough to put over it, emptied fruit bowl and thought about hefting it over the creature. Meanwhile, beast is running around along skirting board and doing circuits of dining room and hallway. Decided fruit bowl too heavy to lob accurately from a distance. Saw foul denizen of the deep crawl into shoe rack. Set up surveillance station and maintained watch until hubby home from work. Hell beast vacuumed, vacuum cleaner emptied into outside bin. Lunch cold. Like my revenge.

(Has nothing to add. Other than laughing hysterically.)

 

[dpaterso]

... spiders are cool and intelligent.
Have had several as pets ^^..^^
I bet many of you would come to like them too if you spent some time about them.

Many of us have irrational fears, it's part of our delightful human makeup. Logic does not work. I would not come to like them. They would be dead.

Just pick them up and set them free out the door or the window...

It's easy.

Really.

No, it's really not. They must die. I must kill them. It's a reflex action. Alternative actions are not possible. When a spider is discovered, the only thing that goes out the door or the window is rational thinking.

But, Field Marshall Paterson, what for those of us for whom even a long handle isn't enough? They could run up it and up my sleeve! No handle is long enough!

I see where you're coming from, but I'd rather take that thousands-to-one risk than allow them to escape and lose sight of them!

-Derek

 

[cher79]

If you suck them up with a vacuum hose and empty it, isn't the thing still alive?? *shivers* It doesn't try to leap back up at you from the trash?

I can kill those small, teeny spiders...but I don't know what I'd do if I saw a tarantula...and although daddy long legs (that's a spider, right? The ones with the tiny bodies and the super long legs? Or is that another type of insect?) aren't that big, those LONG legs just freak me out. Ick!

 

[Death Wizard]

Spiders are awesome. Love them.