Ray's House of Love (Volume II)

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Komnena

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I can't wear the fourteens yet. I bought them in hopes I'll be able to wear them. It was extremely embarrassing to have to wear clown outfits to work. I'm supposed to look at least somewhat neat at work. Luckily, my boss is a fair woman and knows I have to lose the weight. The fourteens are part of my plan to have a variety of sizes around so I won't have to wear clown outfits to work again.

Update-Just tried on a pair of the fourteens. They're Alfred Dunners, which usually run big. I can wear them and I'm going to wear them to a party this afternoon.
 
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Maryn

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Hooray for you, in those nice 14s!

Maryn, pleased in your behalf
 

Komnena

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I tried on another of the 14's and I think it'll take another five pounds before they zip up. It'll probably take another month of no sodas, rice cakes and snacking on Cheerios instead of chocolate before I can zip up the second pair. A month ago, though, I wouldn't have been able to pull them up over my hips.
 

Cassiopeia

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Way To Go Komnena.

Me, I have gained back 3 of the 13 I lost a few months back which in a few more days after post cycle, it might be back to the original 13. I'm annoyed that I haven't been sticking to anything. I let my stress get to me, become too lazy to cook and go out and eat food I know is going to make me retain water and swell my limbs. My feet and ankles are sore and partially numb today. Why? Oh cos I ate a tortilla that was wrapped around a chimichanga, even when I knew I can't have wheat.

This dog gone sensitivity (allergy or cyliac thingy whatever) is really a pain. It flairs up my fibromyalgia so fast it's shocking. Never the less, I shall prevail.

Who has any ideas for getting back on the wagon? I want to lose 50 pounds by May.
 

Maryn

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Every time I read an article about weight loss or weight control, its tips are always the things I've been doing for years. (Fries? What are those?) The number of calories I need to maintain my present size seems to be shockingly low, and its hard to go low enough without entering the dread starvation mode. Plus, I'm lazy about working out. Which is why I'm here posting instead of chipping at the ice in the driveway.

Maryn, sighing
 

Cassiopeia

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Every time I read an article about weight loss or weight control, its tips are always the things I've been doing for years. (Fries? What are those?) The number of calories I need to maintain my present size seems to be shockingly low, and its hard to go low enough without entering the dread starvation mode. Plus, I'm lazy about working out. Which is why I'm here posting instead of chipping at the ice in the driveway.

Maryn, sighing
That seems to be how it is for me. Although I'm quite sure, in the next few months as I'm cutting all eating out, I will see a remarkable improvement in weight loss. All I seem to do is tread water if I eat out.

Here's hoping that tomorrow the new physician will have insights on how to help me manage my stress and BP. I'm tired of being told that some supplement will help me. If there's a medication, I'll take it. Even when I'm borderline, because I have a sneaking suspicion, my BP is yet another reason in addition to having lost most of my thyroid, as to why I'm exhausted yet on edge so much of the time. At least that was my sister's situation.
 

StoryG27

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Every time I read an article about weight loss or weight control, its tips are always the things I've been doing for years. (Fries? What are those?) The number of calories I need to maintain my present size seems to be shockingly low, and its hard to go low enough without entering the dread starvation mode. Plus, I'm lazy about working out. Which is why I'm here posting instead of chipping at the ice in the driveway.

Maryn, sighing

That seems to be how it is for me. Although I'm quite sure, in the next few months as I'm cutting all eating out, I will see a remarkable improvement in weight loss. All I seem to do is tread water if I eat out.

Here's hoping that tomorrow the new physician will have insights on how to help me manage my stress and BP. I'm tired of being told that some supplement will help me. If there's a medication, I'll take it. Even when I'm borderline, because I have a sneaking suspicion, my BP is yet another reason in addition to having lost most of my thyroid, as to why I'm exhausted yet on edge so much of the time. At least that was my sister's situation.
Add me to the list of shockingly low calories needed to maintain. The nutritionist I was seeing refused to see me any more because she said there had to be something medically wrong with me because of the low cals and exercise, and I managed to gain. If figure I did it to myself, I was anorexic for a long while in HS, and it had nothing to do with weight and everything to do with control. The problem is, I've never really recovered. If I don't drop down my caloric intake to "starvation" levels, I won't loose weight. Plain and simple. Have tried to retrain my metabolism. . .not gonna happen in this life time.
 

Cassiopeia

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Add me to the list of shockingly low calories needed to maintain. The nutritionist I was seeing refused to see me any more because she said there had to be something medically wrong with me because of the low cals and exercise, and I managed to gain. If figure I did it to myself, I was anorexic for a long while in HS, and it had nothing to do with weight and everything to do with control. The problem is, I've never really recovered. If I don't drop down my caloric intake to "starvation" levels, I won't loose weight. Plain and simple. Have tried to retrain my metabolism. . .not gonna happen in this life time.
1997--- 500 calories a day if that and 2-3 hours exercise every day of the week. I know how to do it, but then, I didn't have to worry about going to a job or doing more than take care of my kids and myself. I wasn't in school or anything. Just playing. It's easy to navigate in the fog of low calorie when life has no real stresses. Life was bliss for a time and I've no reason to complain now that it isn't but still, I am. ;)
 

Maryn

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Wow, 500 a day? I'd be in worse than a fog. Perhaps a coma.

I grew fairly disgruntled when The Kid and I decided that during October we would weigh and measure and log calories honestly, in a real effort to get a jump start. One day I had 1900, every other day below 1600, about half below 1500. I was hungry a lot, the kind where your belly hurts. I worked out three times a week, 90 minutes a time.

And lost a pound. One.

That would be bad enough if it was just my looks and self-esteem riding on it, but I've got a health problem that might be greatly reduced if I could lose the extra Maryn. Perhaps a machete could do it, eh?

Maryn, not really into self-mutilation
 

NeuroFizz

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500 Calories per day is going to be well below the Basal Metabolic Rate of adult humans. This means that degree of starvation could only be maintained for a short time for most adults before rather severe physiological problems would arise. This is not a good idea unless it is done under the DIRECT control of a health care professional.
 

Maryn

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Fizz, my understanding is that for adult women, the floor is 1200, teenage girls 1500, teenage boys and adult men, 1800.

I get pretty light-headed under 1100 or so. That's no way to live. Maybe those skinny bitches seem happy because they're half-looped on starvation?

Maryn, who prefers Froot Loops
 

Maryn

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Fizzy's post reminds me of some 60s novel--name lost to memory--about the rich and powerful and their trophy wives, who often went for the sleep cure, in which they're essentially anesthetized and fed intravenously for two to four weeks, then wake newly slender and well-rested. Yeah, that's some way to live, huh?

Maryn, not signing up
 

Cassiopeia

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500 Calories per day is going to be well below the Basal Metabolic Rate of adult humans. This means that degree of starvation could only be maintained for a short time for most adults before rather severe physiological problems would arise. This is not a good idea unless it is done under the DIRECT control of a health care professional.
No, I had no direction. I did it to myself and now, whenever I eat anything, I get really scared. I have a very poor idea of what I look like, and I suffer constantly from low blood sugar. It also shredded my gall bladder and immune system.
 

Cassiopeia

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Fizzy's post reminds me of some 60s novel--name lost to memory--about the rich and powerful and their trophy wives, who often went for the sleep cure, in which they're essentially anesthetized and fed intravenously for two to four weeks, then wake newly slender and well-rested. Yeah, that's some way to live, huh?

Maryn, not signing up
Oh, I'm so tempted. mostly cos I could get to sleep for a month. :D
 

Komnena

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The nurse who diagnosed my diabetes said I should be on a 2000 calorie/day diet.
Cassi, you have my sympathy with the anorexia. I've never experienced that but I've heard some pretty bad horror stories. They sound a lot worse than what I've experienced so far.
 

Cassiopeia

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The nurse who diagnosed my diabetes said I should be on a 2000 calorie/day diet.
Cassi, you have my sympathy with the anorexia. I've never experienced that but I've heard some pretty bad horror stories. They sound a lot worse than what I've experienced so far.

I have fought that battle for years. It started when I was 12 when I went to visit my real father and he told me that I was chubby. I was 5' 3" and I weight 105 pounds. Yeah, he put me on a diet. Tried to make me lose weight. And how freaking messed up was his perceptions. Because I was fully developed in the chest at 12 wearing a B cup and wearing a size 7 junior miss the same as his wife, I was considered fat. I tried to show him my measurements from sewing class but he thought I lied. The teacher measured me in at 35-25-34. At twelve! Geez, I wish I could warp through time and tell that sweet pre teen girl just how lovely and perfect she was.

Then when I spent the summer between my freshman and sophomre year, I was 5'5 and weighed 136 pounds and he said I was absolutely obese and that my arm was as big as his thigh. So not true and so wrong. My father starved himself for the most part of his life having been overweight in his middle 20's he starved himself to the point of shaking he was so hungry all the time.

I've overcome the starving part, I just wrecked my metabolism and with my thyroid removed (all but a tiny section) I'm fighting an uphill battle..Still...I will persevere. I just have to get back to working out every morning for an hour and be happy to leave it at that. No more two to three hour sessions that cripple me for a month.

It's a process. I'm learning to admire who I am with the extra weight so I don't despair and just want to give up.
 
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Komnena

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I would love to weigh 136 pounds, Cassi. I don' t know what to say about what your father did to you. I honestly don't know what to say.
 

Cassiopeia

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I would love to weigh 136 pounds, Cassi. I don' t know what to say about what your father did to you. I honestly don't know what to say.
It's okay, that's just the tip of the iceberg and now, I'm at a place in my life, where I know what's real and what's not.

And I'm going to help others like myself find a place of reality to hold on to. :)
 

Maryn

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Good morning, healthy eaters! Later I'll be grocery shopping. Extra celery, right?

Maryn, freshly jealous at 2000 calories a day
 

StoryG27

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1997--- 500 calories a day if that and 2-3 hours exercise every day of the week.

Wow, 500 a day? I'd be in worse than a fog. Perhaps a coma.

500 Calories per day is going to be well below the Basal Metabolic Rate of adult humans. This means that degree of starvation could only be maintained for a short time for most adults before rather severe physiological problems would arise. This is not a good idea unless it is done under the DIRECT control of a health care professional.
Here's the scary part, I can function fine at 500-800 cals a day. I actually feel extremely tired and out of it if I eat more than if I don't eat at all.

When I worked with the nutritionist, she worked out a plan for me to eat 1600-1800 cals a day (because of the amount of exercise, which was a lot). I tried that for two months, gained 10 lbs. She dropped me down to 1200-1500 cals a day (and made sure they were good cals too, healthy foods). Did that for a month, gained 7 lbs. Then she gave me free reign, told me to do what I'd normally do to loose weight and just record it all. So I lost about 11 lbs in a month, but she wanted to kill me when she averaged out my cals per day, that hovered around 600.

Then she refused to see me anymore. She said there was something wrong. With the way I was exercising, for a normal person, I should have taken 2000-2200 cals to lose 2 lbs per week. No way. She told me my metabolism was the slowest she'd ever seen. Yea me. :(

The really strange thing, I have so much more energy and am in a better mood when I REALLY restrict my cals (lately, they've been staying under 1000 cals/day). I am focused, happy, and rearing to go. If I eat a "healthy" amount, I'm tired, in a mind fog, and just want to nap. I have no idea what that says about me. To me, it tells me my body really doesn't need very much to survive and thrive. That unfortunately, I need about 700-800 cals, and I'd just better get used to it. The nurtitionist did tell me, if we ever went through a terrible famine and we all starved, I'd be the last person standing. *shurg* Yea me?


The nurse who diagnosed my diabetes said I should be on a 2000 calorie/day diet.
Cassi, you have my sympathy with the anorexia. I've never experienced that but I've heard some pretty bad horror stories. They sound a lot worse than what I've experienced so far.
Komnena, I am so proud of how you have handled your diagnosis.

And Cassi, I am so proud how you recovered from you anorexia. I eventually pulled out of mine too, but I had my entire family pulling for me, not pushing me deeper into it. Mine had NOTHING to do with body image. I was an athlete, strong and confident, then my home life spun out of control, I was also severely injured and could no longer play sports (was told I'd never even be able to run again, would be lucky to walk normally), and I felt like everything I ever had any delusions of control over was ripped away from me. The one thing I could control was me, what went in my body. I exercised like a mad woman and ate half an orange every other day. I was so stupid! I was also scared and didn't know what else to do. I'm glad I'm over that now, but there is no doubt I did irreversible damage to my metabolism and my body. So no matter what I wish, I have to work with what I've created for myself, a barely existent metabolism and some forever lingering health problems. I've done every trick and method to retrain my metabolism, but when even doctors and nutritionists throw their hands up in defeat, it's a little disheartening. For now, I have to do what works for me and hope I don't do any more damage, which as long as I monitor myself carefully, I don't think I will. Once I get down to the weight I want, then I figure I can try to slowly work on adding more calories to my diet.
 

tjwriter

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I've not been tracking calories or anything, but I've found myself naturally gravitating to fresh fruits/vegetables and whole grains the last year or so. What I really need to do is exercise, and I'm looking to start incorporating small things into my day so that I can get a little movement in. A discussion the hubs and I had the other night leads me to think I might get him to help with this in the kid wrangling department.

And in that ongoing saga, it was a good weekend. It was busy and we were doing separate things, but we both put forth an effort to connect with each other and we weren't fighting and we weren't angry. One of things I know that I was doing that was causing a problem was that I shut myself off. With all the stress going on, I locked myself up in my head and wasn't letting anyone in. It felt nice to connect with him again.

Hopefully we are working toward a long term solution, but I'm just measuring day-by-day.
 

Komnena

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I did some pigging out at the party yesterday, even to the extent of eating cheese. I know I shouldn't eat it but I find it impossible to resist having a few pieces when it's in front of me. It seems I am more addicted to cheese than I am to candy bars or sodas. I haven't really missed the latter but there are times when I get this really horrible craving for cheese.
As for the good way I'm handling my diagnosis I'm doing it because I have this really deep instinctive feeling that if I lie down and kick my feet in despair that would be conceding the fight, that if I do that I might as well cut off my own feet and blind myself. I don't want to do that. I want to have as good a life as I can.
 

Komnena

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I spent the morning sorting clothes. I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT BUYING ANY MORE WINTER SHIRTS!!!!I can't believe I have that many!!!!They must have been breeding in dark corners.
 
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