- Joined
- Feb 3, 2016
- Messages
- 1,215
- Reaction score
- 231
I will preface by saying I'm not really expecting anybody to read this long pity party! It all happened years ago and it killed my mojo--I stopped writing and am no longer part of the community. But occasionally I think about it and get flashes of anger and I know I have some bitterness I need to let go of. I thought writing it all out somewhere with other writers might be cathartic.
I queried my first MS in 2016. I was pretty green and had no agented friends, but knew enough to write a decent query and avoid the truly horrible beginner offences. I also knew enough to check P&E and AW'S Bewares section to avoid scam agencies, but I wasn't immersed enough in the industry to know a top agent from a meh agent. I ended up with two requests for calls. Agent 1 wanted major revisions. Agent 2 wanted minor revisions. Both were new agents. I know now that Agent 1 was from a highly respected agency and Agent 2 was from one that wasn't on anybody's radar, but I didn't know at the time. I went with Agent 2. I'm still annoyed with myself about this, even though I can't really blame myself - I didn't know what I didn't know, if that makes sense.
I signed, we did some light edits, and my new agent sent the book on sub. She wouldn't give me a subs list, saying that giving authors data only makes us obsess. I didn't like not knowing but I was too green and too excited to rock the boat. She did tell me how many she had subbed to, and when we got rejections she would name the imprints that had passed. Based on that she went to the right imprints--Big 5, agented-subs only, etc.
That MS didn't sell but while querying I had written a second. When it was polished I sent it to my agent. It took her three months to read it, even though she only had a few clients (I was the first one to sign with her). She gave a couple of paragraphs of minor feedback. While implementing the changes I had a spark of inspiration about plot points that had been bothering me, and ended up making a major revision. It was another three months before she read the new version, and we did some more minor revisions to get it ready for sub.
Before we could sub the agency owner went AWOL. The agents couldn't do much without her so after a few months they jumped ship. Mine went to a much more reputable agency (BookEnds). I had read Jessica Faust's blog posts and knew she was an author advocate and an industry veteran, so I was really happy.
Once my agent was settled at BookEnds, we went on sub. Again, she wouldn't give me a subs list. Communication continued to be glacial - not just for reading new mss, but simple questions would go unaswered. I would nudge after a few weeks or a month and invariably get an excuse... more than once emails started "I must have had a stroke because I thought I'd answered this already." I was friendly with another of her authors by this point and she had the same experience - slow replies, disorganisation. But neither of us wanted to go through querying again, and the niggles didn't seem big enough to do anything drastic.
I got sporadic updates until eventually my agent asked for a call. We had an offer for the second MS. My agent said she was so pleased "because this MS came so close to being acquired so many times!" which was complete news to me. The offer was from a UK publisher that I didn't know much about--I'm in the UK but I had always targeted the US market as it's so much bigger for romance--but it was a Big 5 imprint, only took agented submissions, and it was a print contract. The only points my agent tried to negotiate were the advance and to include some free agent copies. She got the copies but they wouldn't budge on the advance. The advance was acceptable to me and I signed.
A few months later I got an edit letter from my new editor. I read it and my stomach flipped. She was asking me to make all the changes I had already made... my agent had subbed the old version, from before I had made major plot revisions. I messaged my agent urgently and she did get back to me quickly for once, but not only did she not apologise or seem bothered in any way, she left ME to explain the fuck up to my editor. Thankfully the editor was absolutely lovely about it, even though we (my agent) had wasted god knows how many hours of her time. I sent the revised MS to my editor and things carried on.
At some points during the publishing process I asked my agent for advice. For example, when I got copy edits and began working through them, I had a crisis of confidence and suddenly hated every word I had written. I asked my agent if I was 'allowed' to make additional edits at that stage or if that would just annoy everyone. She never replied. Luckily I was sensible, kept my head, and stuck to addressing the copy editor's suggestions.
My book was released right when the pandemic was registering as a Serious Big Thing. February 2020. A handful of bloggers reviewed ARCs they'd been sent, though at least two said "I haven't had time to read this but it sounds fun!" I'm very grateful to them and I don't want this to sound like an insult to them, but it wasn't big name bloggers with lots of influence. The publisher did a blog post on their website. That seemed to be the sum total of promotion, which might have been fine if the book was being shelved in shops, but it transpired the print run had only been for 500 copies and the publisher focuses heavily on eBooks. I know some of the 500 copies went to libraries, as there is (or was at the time) a website where I could search stock at libraries across the country. But I never saw it in any book shops and neither did any of my friends--except my local branch of Waterstones, who kindly ordered a few copies after I introduced myself. I asked one other bookshop if they might order a copy--a shop very special to me in London--but they never replied.
Reviews were generally good. Last I checked I was sitting at around 4/5 on Goodreads and slightly better on Amazon. Good reviews, but very few of them. Not many people have heard of my book and I don't know how they were ever expected to... as a reader, I've got no idea how I would have found it.
While this book was being published I wrote another, which my agent hated. I had completely lost confidence at this point but sent three chapters of a new MS. Months went by with no response. I was feeling very dejected at this point. At the encouragement of some writer friends I wrote to Jessica Faust and asked to speak to her. We had a video call where I asked if I could be transferred to another BookEnds agent because of my communication issues with my current agent. She couldn't have been less interested and asked no details--I think the call lasted just under three minutes--but said she would "Get Amanda's [my agent's] persepective" and let me know. My agent sent me an email apologising for one specific query she hadn't answered. I'd heard the excuses before. The next week Jessica wrote to say none of her agents had room on their lists and I was released from my contract.
I think that's the part I'm most bitter about. That an agency who presents itself as so author-friendly was so uninterested in helping me when one of their own agents was behaving so poorly.
There was an options clause in my contract so I sent my editor a proposal package for another book and told her I was no longer agented. She replied that she liked the proposal but "sales of the first book aren't where they need to be" for her to acquire another book by me. I'm bitter that I seem to have done my job well--writing a book that got good reviews--and the publisher seems to have failed in their part--getting the book in front of readers--but it's me who lost out.
I know sour grapes aren't a good look. I know the publisher probably did a lot of stuff I never saw to get my book out there, but the stars didn't align. I know I probably did that British thing of being too polite when talking to Jessica, so she didn't realise how badly my agent had fucked up. I know my agent probably gave her a completely different story where I was a nightmare client. I know I need to let go of this so I can find joy in writing again. But for me, it's easier said than done.
Thank for for reading if you made it this far, and please don't think too badly of me for clinging on to this anger. Thanks for letting me get it all out.
I queried my first MS in 2016. I was pretty green and had no agented friends, but knew enough to write a decent query and avoid the truly horrible beginner offences. I also knew enough to check P&E and AW'S Bewares section to avoid scam agencies, but I wasn't immersed enough in the industry to know a top agent from a meh agent. I ended up with two requests for calls. Agent 1 wanted major revisions. Agent 2 wanted minor revisions. Both were new agents. I know now that Agent 1 was from a highly respected agency and Agent 2 was from one that wasn't on anybody's radar, but I didn't know at the time. I went with Agent 2. I'm still annoyed with myself about this, even though I can't really blame myself - I didn't know what I didn't know, if that makes sense.
I signed, we did some light edits, and my new agent sent the book on sub. She wouldn't give me a subs list, saying that giving authors data only makes us obsess. I didn't like not knowing but I was too green and too excited to rock the boat. She did tell me how many she had subbed to, and when we got rejections she would name the imprints that had passed. Based on that she went to the right imprints--Big 5, agented-subs only, etc.
That MS didn't sell but while querying I had written a second. When it was polished I sent it to my agent. It took her three months to read it, even though she only had a few clients (I was the first one to sign with her). She gave a couple of paragraphs of minor feedback. While implementing the changes I had a spark of inspiration about plot points that had been bothering me, and ended up making a major revision. It was another three months before she read the new version, and we did some more minor revisions to get it ready for sub.
Before we could sub the agency owner went AWOL. The agents couldn't do much without her so after a few months they jumped ship. Mine went to a much more reputable agency (BookEnds). I had read Jessica Faust's blog posts and knew she was an author advocate and an industry veteran, so I was really happy.
Once my agent was settled at BookEnds, we went on sub. Again, she wouldn't give me a subs list. Communication continued to be glacial - not just for reading new mss, but simple questions would go unaswered. I would nudge after a few weeks or a month and invariably get an excuse... more than once emails started "I must have had a stroke because I thought I'd answered this already." I was friendly with another of her authors by this point and she had the same experience - slow replies, disorganisation. But neither of us wanted to go through querying again, and the niggles didn't seem big enough to do anything drastic.
I got sporadic updates until eventually my agent asked for a call. We had an offer for the second MS. My agent said she was so pleased "because this MS came so close to being acquired so many times!" which was complete news to me. The offer was from a UK publisher that I didn't know much about--I'm in the UK but I had always targeted the US market as it's so much bigger for romance--but it was a Big 5 imprint, only took agented submissions, and it was a print contract. The only points my agent tried to negotiate were the advance and to include some free agent copies. She got the copies but they wouldn't budge on the advance. The advance was acceptable to me and I signed.
A few months later I got an edit letter from my new editor. I read it and my stomach flipped. She was asking me to make all the changes I had already made... my agent had subbed the old version, from before I had made major plot revisions. I messaged my agent urgently and she did get back to me quickly for once, but not only did she not apologise or seem bothered in any way, she left ME to explain the fuck up to my editor. Thankfully the editor was absolutely lovely about it, even though we (my agent) had wasted god knows how many hours of her time. I sent the revised MS to my editor and things carried on.
At some points during the publishing process I asked my agent for advice. For example, when I got copy edits and began working through them, I had a crisis of confidence and suddenly hated every word I had written. I asked my agent if I was 'allowed' to make additional edits at that stage or if that would just annoy everyone. She never replied. Luckily I was sensible, kept my head, and stuck to addressing the copy editor's suggestions.
My book was released right when the pandemic was registering as a Serious Big Thing. February 2020. A handful of bloggers reviewed ARCs they'd been sent, though at least two said "I haven't had time to read this but it sounds fun!" I'm very grateful to them and I don't want this to sound like an insult to them, but it wasn't big name bloggers with lots of influence. The publisher did a blog post on their website. That seemed to be the sum total of promotion, which might have been fine if the book was being shelved in shops, but it transpired the print run had only been for 500 copies and the publisher focuses heavily on eBooks. I know some of the 500 copies went to libraries, as there is (or was at the time) a website where I could search stock at libraries across the country. But I never saw it in any book shops and neither did any of my friends--except my local branch of Waterstones, who kindly ordered a few copies after I introduced myself. I asked one other bookshop if they might order a copy--a shop very special to me in London--but they never replied.
Reviews were generally good. Last I checked I was sitting at around 4/5 on Goodreads and slightly better on Amazon. Good reviews, but very few of them. Not many people have heard of my book and I don't know how they were ever expected to... as a reader, I've got no idea how I would have found it.
While this book was being published I wrote another, which my agent hated. I had completely lost confidence at this point but sent three chapters of a new MS. Months went by with no response. I was feeling very dejected at this point. At the encouragement of some writer friends I wrote to Jessica Faust and asked to speak to her. We had a video call where I asked if I could be transferred to another BookEnds agent because of my communication issues with my current agent. She couldn't have been less interested and asked no details--I think the call lasted just under three minutes--but said she would "Get Amanda's [my agent's] persepective" and let me know. My agent sent me an email apologising for one specific query she hadn't answered. I'd heard the excuses before. The next week Jessica wrote to say none of her agents had room on their lists and I was released from my contract.
I think that's the part I'm most bitter about. That an agency who presents itself as so author-friendly was so uninterested in helping me when one of their own agents was behaving so poorly.
There was an options clause in my contract so I sent my editor a proposal package for another book and told her I was no longer agented. She replied that she liked the proposal but "sales of the first book aren't where they need to be" for her to acquire another book by me. I'm bitter that I seem to have done my job well--writing a book that got good reviews--and the publisher seems to have failed in their part--getting the book in front of readers--but it's me who lost out.
I know sour grapes aren't a good look. I know the publisher probably did a lot of stuff I never saw to get my book out there, but the stars didn't align. I know I probably did that British thing of being too polite when talking to Jessica, so she didn't realise how badly my agent had fucked up. I know my agent probably gave her a completely different story where I was a nightmare client. I know I need to let go of this so I can find joy in writing again. But for me, it's easier said than done.
Thank for for reading if you made it this far, and please don't think too badly of me for clinging on to this anger. Thanks for letting me get it all out.
