Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

[Makai_Lightning]

Hi Uncle Jim,

Happy Holidays! I was wondering. If the MC wakes up and notices white bed linens that the MC was sleeping on, is that the same thing as waking up in a white room?

If your MC is white, is that the same thing as waking up in a white room?

 

[James D. Macdonald]

Hi Uncle Jim,

Happy Holidays! I was wondering. If the MC wakes up and notices white bed linens that the MC was sleeping on, is that the same thing as waking up in a white room?

Why are they white?

If the fact they're white doesn't reveal character, support the theme, or advance the plot -- don't tell us they're white. Let the reader imagine pale-blue (since if the readers do so, it'll be because pale-blue is important to them).

 

[emeraldcite]

Give the linens some yellow stains. That'll give it some character...

 

[smsarber]

Then be sure to put a half-empty coffee cup by the bed!

 

[James D. Macdonald]

Is the coffee cup half-empty or half-full?

(Neither; the cup is poorly designed for the available volume of coffee.)

 

[Andrew Jameson]

Or perhaps the coffee-delivery system is poorly calibrated to the available volume in the cup.

Which alternative you perceive depends on your temperment.

 

[Calliopenjo]

Title

Hi Uncle Jim,

Yeah it's me. If you were at the bookstore and saw the title: Lorelei's Second Chance. What would you think?

 

[smsarber]

Not much, unless I knew anything about her First Run at Things.

 

[James D. Macdonald]

If you were at the bookstore and saw the title: Lorelei's Second Chance. What would you think?

It would depend on the cover art, of course, but I'd think "Romance."

 

[Sailor Kenshin]

I'd think of a fantasy revolving around that old sailor myth, with maybe a comedic touch.

 

[euclid]

Been out and bought in some reading for the holidays:

John le Carre, A Most Wanted Man
David Baldacci, Divine Justice
Alan Furst, The Polish Officer
Evelyn Waugh, Men at Arms
John Banville, The Book of Evidence
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

Should keep me out of mischief for a while!

 

[robbwindow]

So let me ask you this, when in the revision stage of a ms do you write something new for 2 hrs or just spend days and hrs revising?

Well, it varies. I usually have three projects going at any time, in various stages of finished.

For revisions I take the manuscript (printout) and red pencils and go somewhere entirely different than my normal workspace (sometimes the kitchen, but my favorite is a nice little French coffeeshop down the road a bit) and scribble. After I've done two hours of writing, there's a solid 22 more hours in the day for revising other material.

One trick to revision -- is to read the work aloud. Where you stumble, the reader will stumble. You'll notice different things, too, when you're reading aloud. You're using a different part of your brain than you are when reading silently.

We're not at revision yet, though. First we need the text.

Did I mention that you need to make multiple backups of all your material if you're working on a computer?

I'll give you a minute to make a backup of whatever you wrote today.

See you when you've done.

Thanks James reading aloud and scribbling over a coffee in a different environment s very helpful.

 

[Dave.C.Robinson]

Let me second, third and fourth the multiple backups routines.

Personally I'm absolutely terrible at remembering to back things up, so I've completely automated the process. I run two computers: desktop and laptop; both running Windows Live Sync which mirrors my _Writing directory on both computers. That gives me my primary backup and allows me to work on any document on either computer as they're always synchronized. My secondary backup is a free iDrive account which gives me 2GB of cloud storage with a continuous backup option enabled.

This gives me a layered backup without needing to remember anything.

 

[Perle_Rare]

It would depend on the cover art, of course, but I'd think "Romance."

Funny. I almost replied the same before your post. But once I started thinking about it, I wasn't able to explain either to the original poster or even to myself why I automatically felt it was a romance story.

I still can't figure it out.

 

[Don]

Funny. I almost replied the same before your post. But once I started thinking about it, I wasn't able to explain either to the original poster or even to myself why I automatically felt it was a romance story.

I still can't figure it out.

I think it's a combination of the girly-girl name and the 'Second Chance' that gives it the light romance feel for me. I'm thinking something like 'Sweet Home Alabama' or 'Hope Floats'. (My DW made me watch them )

 

[Shweta]

I think it's a combination of the girly-girl name and the 'Second Chance' that gives it the light romance feel for me. I'm thinking something like 'Sweet Home Alabama' or 'Hope Floats'. (My DW made me watch them )

Love how it's a girly-girl name that has its origins in a water spirit who lured sailors to their deaths

 

[euclid]

Our view

If you were at the bookstore and saw the title: Lorelei's Second Chance. What would you think?

We had a short family conference about this. Lorelei is a middle-aged woman who spurned her best chance at love and happiness when she was young (and incredibly beautiful). The book concerns her second (and last) chance at happiness (probably with a confidence trickster)

 

[Ken Schneider]

Lorelei's college days were filled with parties, plenty of boys, and friends for life. One secret held between friends on a night gone wrong, sends Lorelei on a downward sprial into a black pit of depression.

Love lost, disowned by family and friends; Lorelei commits suicide. Like her life to this point, this also failed, and in the months to come she would thank the heavens for the second chance.

Lorelie's second chance is a harrowing, sorrow filled, yet feel good story of a journey back to self respect, vindication, and reunion with the those she loves.

 

[Perle_Rare]

The book concerns her second (and last)* chance at happiness (probably with a confidence trickster)

* emphasis mine

It's totally beyond me how anyone could know enough about the future to state that this second chance is guaranteed to be the very last one. Unless, of course, Lorelei suffers from a terminal illness which can only be reversed through an organ transplant and her chance at happiness depends on the whims of a person who also happens to be the only compatible organ-donor.

 

[James D. Macdonald]

The little girl stood shivering. "Please mister, buy a chance?"

Fred paused. "What's it for?"

"I gotta sell them. By midnight. All of them."

"I mean, what's it a chance on?" The neon light in the bar's window buzzed and flashed on and off.

"Only a buck, mister. Only a buck."

A dollar wasn't much. "How many do you have to sell, sweetie?"

"My name's Lorelei. Not 'sweetie.' Lorelei. I gotta sell two. Just two chances. I sold one already. Now I gotta sell the other one." She looked down. "I gotta sell it by midnight."

 

[nevada]

* emphasis mine

It's totally beyond me how anyone could know enough about the future to state that this second chance is guaranteed to be the very last one.

because novel writing is all about last chances. The fate of the world depends on the hero succeeding. If he fails the world as we know it will end. Nobody wants to read if at first you don't succeed, try try again. Where is the tension in that? If we know that if he fails, he can try again ad infinitum, why should the reader care?

It's always about last chances. If Lorelei gets a lifetime of dating guy after guy where is the conflict? where is the tension? I want to know that there are some important stakes involved in the story I'm reading. So yes, I want it to be Lorelei's last chance. I want a sense of importance.

 

[euclid]

More of the same.

The little girl stood shivering. "Please mister, buy a chance?"

Fred paused. "What's it for?"

"I gotta sell them. By midnight. All of them."

"I mean, what's it a chance on?" The neon light in the bar's window buzzed and flashed on and off.

"Only a buck, mister. Only a buck."

A dollar wasn't much. "How many do you have to sell, sweetie?"

"My name's Lorelei. Not 'sweetie.' Lorelei. I gotta sell two. Just two chances. I sold one already. Now I gotta sell the other one." She looked down. "I gotta sell it by midnight."

He took out his fob watch and flipped it open. Eleven fifty-seven.

He handed her a silver dollar.

She took the coin eagerly, and slipped a grubby piece of paper into his hand. The flickering light reflected in her tear-filled eyes, but she was smiling. The smile alone was worth a whole mess of dollars.

Fred strode into the bar and ordered a sarsaparilla.

"Sorry sir," the bartender said through greasy whiskers, "we're clear outa sars'parilla."

"Give me a whiskey, so," Fred growled.

Two hours later, they threw him out of the bar. He picked himself up, dusted the dirt from his chaps, and turned his throbbing head towards home.

After two blocks he came across the little girl again, shivering in a doorway.

"Please Mister, buy a chance?"

 

[James D. Macdonald]

I wasn't able to explain either to the original poster or even to myself why I automatically felt it was a romance story.

Because Harlequin has an entire line called "Second Chance at Love."

 

[Yeshanu]

A while back we were talking about first pages. For an example of a first page that "gets" me, click on Uncle Jim's sig.

Yes, I definitely want to know what the crocodile is doing in the middle of this guy's kitchen, and if I've got money left over after doing all my Christmas shopping, I'm going to find out.

 

[James D. Macdonald]

Q. What do angry mice send each other on Christmas?

A. Cross mouse cards.