Just remember, you don't have to take and use everything a beta gives you
Generally, I find myself using anywhere between 50-75% of beta comments. I tend to have three categories I put them into:
1) DAGNABIT, s/he's right! But I'm still going to snarl about it for three days before I change it. Or try to fix the giant gaping plot hole. (If a beta has me cursing them, that's usually a good thing.)
2) Hmm. Not sure about this one. Maybe? Not quite sure how I'd fix it. But So and So also said something similar. (This is where I let the plot bunny chew on a carrot for a while, then start testing fixes).
3) Nope nope nope. Totally against character / I don't kill pets / etc. (This is a clear gut reaction where I know it's off to the story I want to tell, and sometimes it's the beta's own readerly/writerly bias creeping in.)
In all of the above scenarios, I trust my gut. #2 are the most interesting situations for me to fix, as they can turn out to be either really good...or I have to go through a couple of "welp, now you broke it" moments wherein I backtrack and try again.
Also, not to touch on the incendiary comments too much here re: writing other genders, but people are people. Write the character you need to tell the story. If that's a different gender than you identify with, so be it. If you're worried that you're a little off in the portrayal of a different gender, then get a couple of betas to weigh in. That can help - I've done it. But to say writing the opposite gender is a no-fly zone? M'yeah. See my #3 reaction above. (Also, tell that to the numerous authors who are wildly successful at doing that.)
