Uncle Jim, undiluted [Archive] - Absolute Write Water Cooler

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 12:09 AM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing with Uncle Jim
Absolute Write
Novel-Writing Forum
13Sep03

It strikes me that there's a need for a thread on the art and craft of writing commercial novels.

To that end, I'd like to start that discussion. I plan to put down my thoughts on the elements of professional-quality fiction. I'll answer questions, and go where ever the discussion leads. I'll do some notes on the business of writing too.

Here are my qualifications for starting this topic:

My bibliography (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/biblio.htm)

A workshop (http://www.sff.net/paradise/)I help teach every year.

My mutant talent is to make my opinions sound like facts.

________________

I have two basic rules: everything that's said should be true, and everything should be helpful.

_______________

There's one other thing that needs to be said, McIntyre's First Law: Under the right circumstances anything I tell you can be wrong.

Okay, and after that pompous lead off, let me say that I'm not going to be talking about novels at all. I'm going to be talking about romances.

Not romances in the Fabio-on-the-cover paperbacks, not the Romance section at Borders, not Harlequin (though there'll be things useful in that genre). Not category romance, or genre romance.

I'm talking about romance in literary theory.

A novel is: A book length work of realistic prose fiction.

A romance is: A book length prose narrative treating imaginary characters involved in events remote in time or place and usually heroic, adventurous, or mysterious.

The thing that the two have in common are that they're book length (call it 50,000 words and up), prose (that is, not poetry or drama), and fiction (some people have said that fiction is when the author tells his own lies; non-fiction is when he tells someone else's lies).

The realism issue, then, is the core of the difference between a novel and a romance. The "realistic" books are the mainest of mainstream; they are the literary works.

The vast majority of the things you find in bookstores labeled "novels" are actually romances. That means:

1) imaginary characters

2) events remote in time or place

3) usually heroic, adventurous, or mysterious

More on all of this later.

I'll try to drop by to talk more after I finish my work every day (except when I'm out of town).

So what do I mean by "finish my work"?

I'm a full-time writer. My sole source of income for the last fifteen years or so has been writing or writing-related. By "my work" I mean ten pages of original prose fiction every day.

That isn't so bad, really. It's only about 2,500 words. It's only two hours or so.

I know, as I write it, that most of it will be changed, moved, or deleted in the revision process. That doesn't bother me. The revision and rewriting and such takes place in another part of my day.

Back before I went full time, I used to hear from people "I've always wanted to be a writer, but I never had the time."

In those days I used to set my alarm clock for two hours early, to make the time. I'd get up at four in the morning to write. If you're a writer, writing is what you do.

So, here's the next bit of advice. This is what my friend Rosemary Edghill calls the "KISS method." (Others call it the "BIC method," for Butt In Chair.)

Pick two hours a day. It doesn't matter which two hours, but make them two hours that you can do every day.

For that two hours, you will sit in front of your typewriter or computer. You will have no distractions. You will write, or you will stare at the blank screen. There will be no other options.

Writing letters does not count. Reading does not count. Doing research does not count. Revising does not count. You will write new stuff, or you will stare at the screen.

No TV in the room. No radio going. No internet. Fill the page or go mad.

Two hours. Every day.

Your body will rebel. You'll get headaches. You'll get colds. You aren't allowed a choice. You will sit in front of that screen even if your head is throbbing.

Some days you will begin writing in a white-hot passion. You'll look up at the clock and discover that three hours have gone by.

You don't get to only do one hour the next day. You still have to do two hours.

Your mind will rebel. You'll want to clean the toilet, change the cat box, mow the lawn. But you won't, because there are no excuses. No, you don't get to reschedule for "later." Two hours, on schedule.

So let me ask you this, when in the revision stage of a ms do you write something new for 2 hrs or just spend days and hrs revising?

Well, it varies. I usually have three projects going at any time, in various stages of finished.

For revisions I take the manuscript (printout) and red pencils and go somewhere entirely different than my normal workspace (sometimes the kitchen, but my favorite is a nice little French coffeeshop down the road a bit) and scribble. After I've done two hours of writing, there's a solid 22 more hours in the day for revising other material.

One trick to revision -- is to read the work aloud. Where you stumble, the reader will stumble. You'll notice different things, too, when you're reading aloud. You're using a different part of your brain than you are when reading silently.

We're not at revision yet, though. First we need the text.

Did I mention that you need to make multiple backups of all your material if you're working on a computer?

I'll give you a minute to make a backup of whatever you wrote today.

See you when you've done.

BTW, I didn't say "no music," I said "no radio." Radios have announcers, disk jockeys, the news, weather ... things that will break your concentration, take you out of that place where the creative things happen.

I like music myself for writing ... I prefer requiems, but maybe I'm just strange.

Whatever helps you get into the state you need to be in....

But there's a warning coming.

Don't couple destructive things with you writing. If you light up a cigarette when you start writing, if you quit smoking you'll find you can't write any more.

Same with drinking booze. Same with eating bon-bons. Coupling bad habits with writing will mean that you'll never be able to shed the bad habits.

One of the popular images of writers is of the guy with a bottle of whisky beside the typewriter.

It probably won't make you a better writer, or even make you a writer at all. It will rot your liver and empty your bank account.

There are twenty-five simple steps to becoming a published author.

Here are the steps:

1. Black ink on white paper.
2. Place your name and address in the top left-hand corner of the first page.
3. Place the title and byline, centered, half-way down the first page.
4. Put a running head (your name, the title, and a page number) in the top right hand corner of every page.
5. Your pages should have one-inch margins.
6. Doublespace your text.
7. Use Courier 10 or Courier 12 only.
8. Type on one side of the paper only.
9. Continue until you reach "The End."
10. Rewrite.
11. Rewrite.
12.....21. Revise
22. Obtain the guidelines for a market that accepts material similar to what you have finished.
23. Follow the guidelines scrupulously when you submit your material.
24. While you are waiting for your rejection slip, start again back at step 1 for your next work.
25. When the rejection slip arrives, send the manuscript to the next market on your list, that same day.

=============

Watt-Evans' Law: There is no idea so brilliant that a sufficiently ham-handed writer can't make an unreadable story out of it.

Feist's Corollary to Watt-Evans' Law: There is no idea so stupid that a sufficiently talented writer can't make a readable story out of it.

=============

Yog's Law: Money flows toward the writer.

Q. Why was the little drop of ink crying?

A. His daddy was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence was....

______________________

I write under several different names, including my own.

One reason is to differentiate the genres you're working in. If you write manly action and sweet romance, you might pick a Manly Action name for one, and a Sweet Romance name for the other, just so your fans won't get confused when they pick up a book by their favorite author and discover that it's far different from what they expected.

If you're prolific, you might write under various names to avoid competing with yourself.

I do share a name with some other writers. That's one reason I use my middle initial -- to differentiate me from them.

When you're picking a name, don't pick anything that's difficult to spell or embarassing to say. Anything else is pretty much okay.

How many pages in a chapter?

This is as close to a meaningless question as you can get. It's like "How many letters in a word?" or "How many words in a sentence?"

I've seen novels with chapters ranging from a fraction of a page to the entire book being one long chapter.

Listen: Words are symbols for ideas or concepts. Sentences are made of words. Sentences convey thoughts through the relationships among the words. (A fraction of a word may be a sentence.)

Paragraphs are made of sentences. The paragraph is the smallest unit of meaning in a novel. The meaning comes from the relationships among the sentences. (A fraction of a sentence may be a paragraph.)

Scenes are made out of paragraphs. There are no fractional paragraphs. The meaning of the scene comes from the relationships among the paragraphs that make up the scene.

Chapters are made out of scenes. There are no fractional scenes. The meaning of the chapter comes from the relationships among the scenes.

How many pages in a chapter? How many scenes do you have, how long are they, and how do they relate to one another? At the point where one scene doesn't relate to the one that follows, put a chapter break.

The reader's mind can hold only a limited number of things at once. The reader's interest keeps moving. You should strive to make the source of information be the same as the source of interest.

And that's how long a chapter is.

Pace is a function of detail. To slow down a scene, make it more detailed. To speed it up, remove detail.

We're beginning to get into the place where "art" lives, knowing where where and to what extent you'll need to vary your pace.

You will need to vary your pace, for several reasons: one is to give your readers breathing space, to give them time to assimilate what just happened, and to anticipate what will come.

A second reason to vary the pace is so that the audience will know when they've come to a fast part -- they'll have something to compare it to.

A third reason to vary pace is so that the audience doesn't get bored. Poor things, they're easily bored. A bored reader lays your book aside, meaning to pick it up again later, and never does. (Note: the readers can always, always tell if you're bored.)

Okay ... you're doing a set up ups-and-downs, like walking a trail through the foothills toward the mountain. (I kinda like that description -- many small climaxes, rewarding the reader along the road, but the main climax frequently in sight, first at a distance, then closer.)

To answer your specific question, I've not read Bickham's book.

___________________________

Well, James, if working with a radio on works for you, it works for you. It's not exactly what I'd recommend to new writers; first they should figure out what level of distraction they can handle. I could probably write in the middle of a construction zone -- but I wouldn't suggest that as an ideal place to set up one's desk. I'd say start with mimimum distractions. Folks can always add some distractions if they find that they either can handle them or need them to be productive. (I still wouldn't recommend adding cigarettes and booze, even if they can handle them and they make 'em more productive.)

As far as two hours staring at a blank screen, few if any writers are going to be doing that. We'll fill the screen. Those who find themselves staring at a blank screen hour after hour might rethink the question of whether a career in commercial fiction is for them at that point in their lives.

As far as revision goes, I can produce publishable first draft. By the time I'd been doing this for a while, I'd learned to avoid unprofitable plot threads, I'd learned what works and what doesn't down at the noun-and-verb level -- I've learned to discard thousands of word choices without thinking about them.

Still, revision is vital. Revision means, literally, "looking again." Even if what you say, on looking again, is "Hey, pretty good."

On occasion I've submitted those publishable first drafts. More than once, after the story's come out, I found myself wishing that I had revised a couple of times.

Later on today I'm going to be reading some slush manuscripts for a major publisher. I promise you, whole heaps of 'em will go on the left-hand pile due to insufficient revision. Few if any will go there due to too much revision.

Before closing today's episode: Another advantage of blocking out a regular time for writing is that it becomes your time when no one will ask you to drive the kids to soccer practice or go shopping "because you aren't doing anything."

____________

I'm not talking about academic work, or about screenplays, poetry, or anything other than commercial fiction. What you use on-screen when you're composing is up to you; if you like 8-point PostCrypt, go for it.

However, when you print out your book to submit to a traditional publisher, you shall print it out in 10 or 12 point Courier.

But ... for the revision process, printing the work in some format and typeface that you haven't used before can be useful for seeing the words rather than your memory of the words. There's a place to print out a reading copy in double column Times New Roman single spaced and justified if you want.

Just don't submit it that way.

There are all kinds of ways to come up with wordcount. One of them is to take five pages at random from your manuscript, count all the words on them, divide by five, then multiply by the total number of pages in your work.

===

Next time ... how to tell where your story starts.

A complex question, Navigator: Income does go up year by year, but you do top out in the mid-to-high five figures for advances (at least I do, in mid-list SF). There's a constant churn below that, as the backlist ebbs and flows, some things go out of print, some are reprinted.

On a tangent off that ... how to keep your books in print. I know there's a lot of talk about how books go out of print after varying alarmingly-short periods. To keep your book in print, write another book. When it comes out, your backlist will get reprinted alongside it.

As to what it costs to submit: the price of paper plus postage. Follow the publishers' guidelines. Some want three-and-an-outline, some want a full manuscript. Follow the guidelines explicitly.

So, where does your story begin?

One way to find your beginning is this: first, write your book. Now go through it to find its start.

Here's how to recognize the start: it's the point where you can no longer summarize everything that went before in a single sentence:

Nothing that Ceclia had seen at the Academy could have prepared her for the first sight of Crymble Manor.

"The appropriations bill is dead on arrival," Senator O'Connor said.

The day after the world ended, Bill got into his pickup truck and drove into town.

Another way to say this is: it's the point where the characters can't decide, To heck with this and order out for pizza. The one-way door has blown shut and they can't get back into the theatre.

Later on, as you gain experience, you can get better at avoiding false starts ("Hesitation marks," we call 'em).

Here's how I figure out where to start my story: I figure out the climax -- something that's really big, cinematic, satisfying, full of action and movement. I take the characters who are there, and back 'em off to some point before that climax, then try to get them to it.

Sometimes -- a lot of the time -- those characters never get to the climax I started with. (There's one climax I've been using for years as a starting point. One day I will get there.)

So here's another way to figure out where to start your story: Put interesting characters in an interesting place, then let them do interesting things. (What's interesting? That's the art, isn't it. Your readers will tell you what's interesting by the sound of rapidly turning pages.)

If the first two chapters of your book are backstory and exposition, and the movement of the plot starts in chapter three, the opening of your book is chapter three. Delete the first two chapters.

====

Plots start when movement starts. This movement can be physical, or it can be psychological, but it is movement. The human eye instinctivly follows a moving object. It will follow the fastest moving object if several are present. So ... make your plot move, and eyes will follow it.

A chess game doesn't start until the first piece or pawn moves.

My outlines aren't submission-quality prose (though some bits do make it all the way through without change).

They most closely resemble a guy telling his buddy about a neat movie he saw the night before -- bits of memorable dialog, descriptions, but most important the order of the scenes.

Often at this stage I have nonce-names for characters (sometimes they're named for their function in the story: "Bestpal" or "Cannonfodder"). Sometimes the author is a character: The author looked up from couch where he sat taking notes. "Just keep talking, guys," he said. "I'll fix it in the rewrite."

I see novels as having shape. There has to be a pleasing, balanced shape, with all the parts connected, the corners neat, and overall easy to look at.

Try drawing a picture of your book, showing the flow of scenes and chapters. In a bit I might go into my theory of the novel as architecture.

Typing a hundred fifty page outline runs me about two or three weeks.

After that, bashing it around to make it into something worth playing with, then writing from the outline into a finished novel -- that can take some time.

Right you are, Keith. When you're writing, don't slow down.

Yes, you will do research ... you'll need to know exactly what kind of car your guy is driving, but during the outline/first draft stage isn't when I do it.

I'll research a bunch before, and after during rewrite and revision. The rule in the middle is "don't slow down."

Now ...

On movement, and on art.

The way to tell the difference between the real world and art is that art has borders. Pictures have frames, stages have curtains, books have covers. You have to provide the illusion that your created world extends beyond its covers, but you aren't going to need to create that outside world. We'll talk about tricks for doing that later.

I'm going to talk about chess games instead. Chess games are like novels.

I'm going to recommend a book, too: Logical Chess: Move by Move (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0713484640). I'm quite serious about saying y'all should get a copy, read it, play the sample games, understand it. First off, even if nothing else happens, your chess game will improve.

The other thing is this: chess games happen on a board. The board has an edge, a limit. Therefore, it is art.

Now as it happens, there are only three things that can possibly happen in a chess game. White may win, Black may win, or there could be a stalemate. Exactly how those things happen is where the interest comes -- everyone knows before the game starts what the range of possible outcomes is. The good guys win, the bad guys win, or we're returned to status quo antes.

The game doesn't start until the first move is made. In the same way, the story doesn't start until the first character acts.

Your pieces are your major characters. Your pawns are your minor characters.

The way you win the game -- no one can foresee how the game is going to go. Not even the greatest chessmaster can see twenty moves in advance. What the chessmaster does is put pieces in useful places. The chessmaster knows that a knight is most useful on QB3 and KB3. So that's where the chessmaster puts them. (This is called "Playing Positional Chess," and that's sometimes what I call my style of plotting a book. As in, "Why did you have Fred slip a gun into his pocket before he left the house?" "I'm playing positional chess.")

If you have put the pieces in their strongest positions, surprising combinations will appear as if by magic later on. The game will play itself; the book will write itself.

If you get a chess set where one side is Army and one side is Navy, you have a technothriller. If you get a chess set where one side is Spacemen and the other is Alien Monsters, you have a space opera. If you have a chess set where one side is modern college professors and the other is faculty wives, you have mainstream.

The moves are the same.

Really, trust me, get the Logical Chess. Look at it at an angle; it's a writing book.
==========

Well, now, what to put in the opening?

We're going to stick with the chess game metaphor for a while here. In the opening you're trying to put yourself into a strong position for going into the midgame (where the exciting action and the exciting combinations occur), and you do this mostly by getting your pieces off the back rank as quickly as possible. The pieces are your major characters. Get them out there, and get them doing things.

Don't neglect your pawns -- your minor characters. You should cherish your minor characters. They'll save your life. If you have a selection of minor characters you can pull them out to solve problems later in the book.

Now, what to put in that first chapter? (Recall that if your readers don't finish the first chapter they'll never get to chapter two.)

To answer the question of what goes into chapter one, I'm going to grab the first stanzas from a bunch of Anglo-Scots folk ballads (http://www.childballads.com/). These were the popular songs of earlier times, cooked by the folk process so that only the important and memorable parts remain, they're entertaining, and they tell stories.

Okay:

Young Johnny rode out on a May morning
With his buckles and his bridles ringing,
And as he rode by the castle walls
He heard a fair maid singing.

====

The king sits in Dumferlin town
Drinking the blood-red wine.
"Oh where will I get a good skipper
To sail this ship of mine?"

====

There were three brothers in merry Scotland
In merry Scotland there were three
And they cast lots which of them should go
Should go, should go,
For to turn pirate all on the salt sea.

====

Okay, what do those have in common?

A person, a place, and a problem. Action and movement. Often a time of year or a time of day.

These are not bad things to get into the first chapter. If you can get 'em onto the first page, even better.

I didn't say one sentence, let alone the first one ... the first chapter is good enough. (You see young, inexperienced writers trying to get everything into the first sentence. This more often than not gives you an opening sentence that looks like a runner-up in the Bulwer-Lytton contest (http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/).

But ... do give your readers a reward for reading the first page, a reason to turn the page, then ... you have chance.

There's a reason publishers ask for three-and-an-outline. That small sample will give them an idea of whether you can give readers a reason to start your book, and an idea of whether you know where you're going.

Think with your reader's mind for a moment. When you go to a bookstore, how do you act when you're trying to decide if you want to buy a book by someone you've never heard of?

Go to a bookstore. Hang around. Watch the readers. They are your readers. How do they approach unfamiliar books? Look at the cover... flip a few pages...

Yeah, a few pages. Sometimes just the first page. Grim, right?

You hear lots of folks condemning editors who make decisions based on the first page. Remember what position editors have in the grand scheme of publishing: They are the readers' advocates.

Over a decade ago, I was doing feature articles for a weekly newspaper. A novelist's techniques work equally well for non-fiction -- if you don't create interest and reward the reader for going along, you don't have readers. In both fiction and non-fiction part of the art is in finding and revealing the telling details. The biggest difference is where those details come from, the imagination or research.

Recall also that fiction should be true (for certain values of "true"). The best lies contain the most truth.

We're still talking about first chapters here.

Before I start, how many of y'all went and got a copy of Logical Chess Move by Move? I reccoed that back on page two of this discussion. Go order a copy now. I'll wait.

I'm serious, guys. I'm going to be recommending other books as I go. I'm doing this because I think it'll help you. I know these are the books that helped me.

My next suggestion is also going to be work: Take your favorite novel.

Now, retype the first chapter. Do this with your writer's eye, not your reader's eye. Think about the lengths of the sentences, the lengths of the paragraphs, the sounds of the words. Think about the order of the scenes. Notice the dialog. How are the dialog tags rendered? Where is the point of view?

The point of this exercise is this: Have you ever gone to an art museum and seen the art students sitting there with their easels and oils, copying the great masters? The point isn't to turn them into plagairists, or to make them expert forgers. The point is to get the feeling into their hands and arms of how to make the brush strokes that create a particular illusion on canvas. Writing is no less a physical skill than painting. The words are your paints, the sentences your brush strokes. Following a master, asking yourself, always, why. Why did he or she choose this word rather than another? Why was this scene from this particular point of view? Why did the scene end there?

Writing is an art. Everything is there because the artist (that's you!) chose to put it there. The surface meaning, the deeper themes, those are your choice.

I can hear you saying, "Yeah, right, Uncle Jim. You say 'Retype a chapter,' but I bet you never did that."

Wrong-o, my friends. I did just that (I did more -- I retyped entire books). You can find some of them here (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/lit.htm), the ones that I still had on disk to convert to HTML and which were in public domain.

At the very worst your typing skills will improve, and that's nothing to sneeze at.

Assignments: Get a copy of Logical Chess Move By Move, and work through the problems. Get a novel that you personally really admire, and retype the first chapter.

More discussion on openings later.

=========

From Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses (http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/railton/projects/rissetto/offense.html) by Samuel Clemens:

There are nineteen rules governing literary art in domain of romantic fiction -- some say twenty-two. In "Deerslayer," Cooper violated eighteen of them. These eighteen require:

1. That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere. But the "Deerslayer" tale accomplishes nothing and arrives in air.

2. They require that the episodes in a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale, and shall help to develop it. But as the "Deerslayer" tale is not a tale, and accomplishes nothing and arrives nowhere, the episodes have no rightful place in the work, since there was nothing for them to develop.

3. They require that the personages in a tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others. But this detail has often been overlooked in the "Deerslayer" tale.

4. They require that the personages in a tale, both dead and alive, shall exhibit a sufficient excuse for being there. But this detail also has been overlooked in the "Deerslayer" tale.

5. The require that when the personages of a tale deal in conversation, the talk shall sound like human talk, and be talk such as human beings would be likely to talk in the given circumstances, and have a discoverable meaning, also a discoverable purpose, and a show of relevancy, and remain in the neighborhood of the subject at hand, and be interesting to the reader, and help out the tale, and stop when the people cannot think of anything more to say. But this requirement has been ignored from the beginning of the "Deerslayer" tale to the end of it.

6. They require that when the author describes the character of a personage in the tale, the conduct and conversation of that personage shall justify said description. But this law gets little or no attention in the "Deerslayer" tale, as Natty Bumppo's case will amply prove.

7. They require that when a personage talks like an illustrated, gilt-edged, tree-calf, hand-tooled, seven- dollar Friendship's Offering in the beginning of a paragraph, he shall not talk like a negro minstrel in the end of it. But this rule is flung down and danced upon in the "Deerslayer" tale.

8. They require that crass stupidities shall not be played upon the reader as "the craft of the woodsman, the delicate art of the forest," by either the author or the people in the tale. But this rule is persistently violated in the "Deerslayer" tale.

9. They require that the personages of a tale shall confine themselves to possibilities and let miracles alone; or, if they venture a miracle, the author must so plausibly set it forth as to make it look possible and reasonable. But these rules are not respected in the "Deerslayer" tale.

10. They require that the author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and in their fate; and that he shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad ones. But the reader of the "Deerslayer" tale dislikes the good people in it, is indifferent to the others, and wishes they would all get drowned together.

11. They require that the characters in a tale shall be so clearly defined that the reader can tell beforehand what each will do in a given emergency. But in the "Deerslayer" tale, this rule is vacated.

In addition to these large rules, there are some little ones. These require that the author shall:

12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.

13. Use the right word, not its second cousin.

14. Eschew surplusage.

15. Not omit necessary details.

16. Avoid slovenliness of form.

17. Use good grammar.

18. Employ a simple and straightforward style.

Even these seven are coldly and persistently violated in the "Deerslayer" tale.

The entire essay is worth reading.

To balance it, remember that Fenimore Cooper is still in print, and recently had (yet another) major motion picture made from one of his works (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104691/).

[BTW, and apropos of nothing, Sam "Mark Twain" Clemens is frequently cited by the vanity presses and PoD publishers as a well-known author who self-published. It's true, he did. What they fail to mention is that he went bankrupt doing it, and had to go on the lecture circuit to pay off his debts.]

===========

A part of standard English since the 15th century, "surplusage" is excessive or nonessential matter; or material introduced into a legal pleading which is not necessary or relevant to the case.

What Twain is trying to get across with this rule, "eschew surplusage," is illustrated by your reaction. More plainly speaking, eschew surplusage means speak plainly.

You're quite right, PDR. You will never be wrong if you use Courier.

Paper is cheap.

Recall the reasons for the double-spaced lines, the one-inch margins, and the large mono-spaced font. A human being with a sharp blue pencil will go through and make all kinds of hand notes on the pages. Another human being with a sharp red pencil will go through and make other marks. The process of editing is messy handwork, and requires room.

So, how's everyone coming? Did you do your two hours yesterday? Ready for today?

One thing about being a professional writer: it means you have homework every day for the rest of your life.

You'll also need to read, in addition to writing. You'll read things in two ways: First, for information. Second, for technique.

You will stop reading like ordinary folks do, when you start reading like a writer. You'll be looking at what worked, what didn't, and how the effects were carried out.

=============

Shall we talk about Plot and Story?

I'll just give some aphorisms here. First, from a friend of mine who's one of the most perceptive and talented editors I know:

"Plot is a literary convention. Story is a force of nature."

Plot is the sequential arrangement of consequential actions. This happened, then that happened because of this.

These arrangements are not random. They are a result of the artist's choices. "But it really happened that way!" is no excuse in fiction. As an artist you are not only required to make things happen, you are obliged to have them make sense. Nor can you throw in just anything at any point. You have to avoid digressions. Every word must support the theme, reveal character, or advance the plot. Better words do two of those things. The best words do all three.

Recall that sailing ship a bit upthread, ready to get underway? Think of the elements that advance your plot as sails. Each one properly rigged on its mast and yard adds to the speed of your voyage and the beauty of the overall design of the ship.

Elements that don't belong in the plot -- however diverting they may be on their own -- are like taking those same sails and trailing them over the side in the water. They slow the ship, make it look slovenly, and perhaps put it in danger of capsizing.

Story, now, is the wind that drives those sails. Story is simple. "Who are those guys?" "How do I get home?" "Who am I?" "I saw something neat." "What makes us human?" "Am I normal?"

With story we're back around the campfires thousands of years ago, telling each other who's sleeping with who, what the king's up to, what's up in the next camp over. The fire casts shadows out in the dark, the shadows of monsters and demons and gods. We tell stories about them too. Those shadows are, however, the shadows of humans.

All stories are about people.

"You can get farther with beautiful prose and a plot than you can with beautiful prose alone."

"Plot will get you through times with no prose better than prose will get you thorugh times with no plot."

"I am a professional writer. I tell lies to strangers for money."

"One Damn Thing After Another is a perfectly good plot."

"Anything that doesn't add to the story takes away from it."

It might seem like I'm slagging off prose. I'm not. Beautiful prose is a wonderful thing. It is a necessary thing.

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug," as Mark Twain said.

Words are your tools. You must make them your friends. If you aren't the sort of person who can regularly ace the It Pays to Increase Your Word Power feature in Readers Digest every month -- become that sort of person.

At the very minimum I expect you to have the following books in your office:

Miriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0877798095/)

The Chicago Manual of Style (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0226104036)

Roget's International Thesaurus (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0060935448/)

and

The Elements of Style (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=020530902X/)

There are other useful references, which I may mention later. These you must have, and must use.

The words themselves, the nouns and verbs ... they're the polish with 000 steel wool. They're the hand-rubbed oil stain. They're the carnuba wax buffed with chamois. But if you don't have a solid piece of woodwork to start with, all the finish in the world won't make a piece of furniture.

Yes, I'll be talking about prose, including some of my idiosyncratic pet peeves. There, their, and they're are three different words, with three different meanings. Similarly, two, too, and to. Its and it's mean different things, as do farther and further. You are expected to be expert.

If what exactly I mean by "noun" and "verb" (not to mention "adverb," "adjective," and "conjunction") is obscure to you ... go right now to your local bookstore and pick up some of the test-preparation study books for high school students, and work through the sections on English. It's okay, no shame, but you've got to be good with words.

If you can put together two consecutive pages of grammatical English with standard spelling, you'll be ahead of 90% of the people in the slush pile.

==========

Another note: Yes, William Strunk did self-publish the first edition of his Elements of Style, as the PoD and vanity presses are fond of pointing out. You have to remember that it happened in the days before the invention of the Xerox machine -- Strunk printed up copies of his class notes to hand out to his students, so that they wouldn't have to copy it all down by hand as he lectured.

Which leads very nicely into the next topic: Characters.

Plot isn't the whole of your novel. Plot is more like the ropes and poles that hold up the big top where the circus is going to be held. Plot provides structure, but it isn't the novel.

Nor is story the novel: story is the space inside that big top where the show is going to happen.

No, your novel is in the characters: the bareback riders, the ringmaster, the trapeze artists, the lion tamers. A novel is about people, without the people it's an empty tent.

(And you were wondering where I was going to come down on the plot-generated vice character-generated novels.)

When you are coming up with characters, I beg you make them interesting. Interesting people doing interesting things in interesting places make your novel interesting.

You need to develop characters so that they serve a purpose other than Keeping The Front Cover and Back Cover Apart. Two rules for that: Every character thinks that he's the main character in the story, and Every character thinks that he's the good guy. While you are writing the character (from the main character, to the most minor of minor characters) you're in his head, and those two things are true while you're writing from his point of view (POV).

We beat up our characters. We make them miserable. Writing is about a lot of things; being kind to your characters isn't one of them.

Generally speaking, you need at least two characters in a story; otherwise dialog is very hard to do. How many characters you can handle is a measure of your skill level and the needs of your book. Characters all serve a function in the book. If two characters are serving the same function, make them into one character.

Now, I'm going to add two more characters to your story. These have to be characters, though y'all might not have thought of them so.

First is the author. You are a character in your story. Cast yourself. Then stay in character. Are you a lecturer? Are you a genial host? Are you a salesman? Are you a stranger here yourself?

Second is the reader. You have to cast the reader. Picture the reader. Is she a teenage girl living in suburbia? Is she a sophisticated urban professional? Is he a business traveler looking for something to read in the airport? The reader is why you're doing this. He's a character. See him. Make him consistent.

If you want to imagine you and your reader sitting in your living room (or some other location) while you tell the story, that can work. Just be consistent! We are building a dream, here, creating an illusion. Inconsistencies are illusion killers. Don't let your reader see you palming a card.

23Nov03

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 12:50 AM

James D. Macdonald
From "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim"
Absolute Write Water Cooler
Novel Writing forum
23Nove03

More on Characters, and a little reward for having borne with me so far.

A story (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/l_author.htm).

Good morning, everyone! Coffee all brewed? Ready for another day in the word mines?

Let's talk very briefly about those characters. We have to put them into conflict, else nothing much is going to happen.

In the chess games, it's white vs. black, because if you didn't have that conflict, you wouldn't have a game.

There're all kinds of conflicts we can use. Man vs. nature, man vs. fate, good vs. evil. Revenge may be a lousy motive out here in reality, but it's powered many novels.

Let me mention one of my favorites.

Anyone can do good vs. evil. The audience knows who to cheer for. The author knows who's going to win. This can get boring, for everyone. (Important safety tip: Your readers can always tell when you're bored.)

If you want to make your characters sweat, and keep your readers guessing, make the conflict good vs. good. Love of family vs. love of country. Search for truth vs. charity and forgiveness. Faith vs. reason. You get the idea.

All that's visible on the surface in your novel is the plot and the characters. The themes, the stories, the conflicts -- those are hidden. You know them; you're the author. You make them consistent throughout, and the reader will believe the plot and believe in the characters, at least until the book is finished. That's the art and the skill. And that's where lots and lots of unpublished/unpublishable writers fall down.

Another thing about the characters: they don't know they're in a novel.

(Generally speaking, the characters in art don't know they're in art. That's why the lights are turned down and the audience is quiet in theatres: so the characters won't realize they're on a stage. That's why characters in the movies don't look at the camera. (Have you noticed how distracting it is, in amateur film, when an actor's eyes focus on the camera?)

Well ... you can have the characters notice they're in a book or on film or on stage (it's called "Breaking the Fourth Wall"), but this is generally done for comic effect. "Bromosel looked at the huge wad of pages in the reader's right hand. It was going to be a long epic." (Bored of the Rings) or pretty much any of the Police Squad shows.

One thing you don't want to do is have a character say something that'll remind the reader that he's just a reader: don't have one character say to another, "You're talking like the villain in a sleazy detective novel," lest the reader say "Wait a minute! He is the villain in a sleazy detective novel!" This can break the illusion. Illusions are fragile things. The chapters you've spent building the illusion will be wasted; it's not entirely certain that you'll be able to get that willing-suspension-of-disbelief back.

The number one lesson to learn about commercial fiction is: We are part of the entertainment industry!

Hi, Jerry --

I've recommended some books and some exercises already ... I'm quite serious about those. Get the books, do the exercises. Develop the habits.

I'll be recommending more books and more exercises as time goes on. Please trust me enough to play along. I can't give you a publishing contract, but I can take you where they grow.

More advice, just for you? Sure:

You've put down timeframes and dollar amounts in your goals. I've seen people do this before; I've even seen 'em figure which year they were going to win what major award. That's counterproductive. Just concentrate on the day, and on the current project. Let the future take care of itself.

Have a life. Go to interesting places, do interesting things. Observe people. You have to be the best observer around. No matter what you're doing, part of your brain should be turning the scene into descriptive prose.

Read widely. Take classes just for the heck of it. You can't know too much.

Consider joining a writers' workshop. Look for one that has at least one or two people with legitimate publishing credits in it. If workshops aren't for you, they aren't for you, but give 'em a try. You'll need a set of trusted friends who'll read your work and give you their honest opinions. No matter how much those opinions may hurt, thank your friends cheerfully and sincerely.

Make every story you write be the best one it can be. Submit them to places likely to buy them (paying markets only). Send 'em out 'til Hell won't have 'em.

There are no right or wrong answers. The only thing you'll know if you listen carefully to what I tell you here is how I work, and what works for me.

Still, there's that professional attitude. If you're a professional writer, writing is your job. Treat it that way. Sure, it's a job you love, one that you'd do even if they weren't paying you for it, but it's a job.

You can get the sweatshirt (http://www.cafeshops.com/viableparadi,yog_1,yog_2.263026) and wear it proudly.

Now, some other fun things before we start today's nattering.

Here's the Turkey City Lexicon (http://www.critters.org/turkeycity.html). We can't talk about -- some would say we can't think about -- things for which we don't have the words. These are some words that you might find helpful in thinking about your writing.

Here's something even more fun: The Sobering Saga of Myrtle the Manuscript (http://www.sfwa.org/writing/myrtle2.htm). If you ever wanted to know the truth of what happens in a publisher's office, this story tells the truth. It's about short stories, rather than novels, but it's still Pretty Darn True.

Myrtle tells the story from the editor's point of view. If you want to Really True Truth about writing a novel from the novelist's point of view, I recommend you get a copy of The Unstrung Harp; or, Mr. Earbrass Writes a Novel by Edward Gorey. Here it is as a single volume (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0151004358/), or as part of a collection (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0399504338/).

The Unstrung Harp is very funny, and devastatingly accurate.

==========

Now, today's discussion. Let's say that you have a full novel all done. Three hundred some-odd pages of typescript in standard manuscript format (http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/~mslee/format.html). What do you do now?

Now is the time to put it into pleasing shape. This is what I call Agricultural Work. This is where you prune and transplant, and fertilize the book. Look at the end. Is everything that happens at the end properly foreshadowed in the beginning? Look at the beginning. Does everything that you planted there have a payoff at the end?

You remember Chekov's saying that a gun that's hanging on the wall in the first act must be fired in the last act. Here's where you hang the gun on the wall. Here too is where you make sure the gun goes off.

I see my novels as having form, like a building. They are a space. The walls go all the way to the ceilings, the walls meet at corners, the roof is in place and pitched to shed the rain, the doors swing easily, the floors are level, and there are plants to mask the ugly place where the foundation meets the lawn (in addition to the pure aesthetic pleasure that those pretty flowers give.

You're looking for balance here. You may need to move scenes, shed scenes, write new scenes. Characters may appear or vanish in this part of the rewriting.

To make a statue of an elephant, take a block of marble and carve away everything that doesn't look like an elephant. The first draft, the thing you vomited out at the rate of ten pages a day, is the block of marble. Now you are cutting away everything that doesn't look like a novel.

As you gain skill and experience, the marble will arrive at this later stage more closely rough-cut than it did the first few times you try. Still you will get to know revision. Revision means, literally, "looking again." Look again at all the parts of your book, from basic plot through character, action, theme, story, text, subtext. You are the master of this world you are creating.

The readers are counting on you for one thing: they are trusting you to find the one perfect ending for this novel. (That's why the Choose Your Own Adventure books flopped -- they were a novelty, not a novel. Not all endings are as good as others. You, the artist, choose one.)

The readers expect to be surprised by the inevitable. This sounds like a tall order. It is. There are a couple of cheap tricks I can teach you, but try for the real thing.

(Cheap trick number one: Start a story arc. Before it reaches its climax, start a second story arc. When that second story arc reaches its climax, substitute the climax for the first story arc. This sounds silly, but it really works. For an example, see Chaucer's The Miller's Tale (http://www.luminarium.org/medlit/miller.htm).)

Okay, before I end today, one more rule of thumb: Unless you're writing War and Peace or the Bible, try to have all your characters on stage and moving by page one hundred.

================

Kinda a gallimaufry today:

Plots. Please try to avoid the Idiot Plot. An Idiot Plot is one that only works because all the characters involved are idiots. If the only reason something happens or doesn't happen is because otherwise it would be a very short book, come up with some other explanation.

Let me give you an example of an idiot plot, this time from the movies. How many of y'all have seen Tears of the Sun with Bruce Willis? Our boy Bruce plays Lt. Waters, a Navy SEAL who is sent into Nigeria to rescue an American doctor during a civil war. The doctor refuses to leave without taking her patients with her. What stops Lt. Waters from calling his boss on the aircraft carrier on his satelite phone and saying "Give me three CH-46s at the LZ"? Nothing other than that if he did it, the movie would have been only about twenty minutes long. That's an idiot plot.

What stops the characters in your novel, on seeing mysterious lights in the house next door, from calling 9-1-1? Motivate them. Eliminate "because I'm the author and I say so" as a reason things happen.

Sometimes, though, you'll have to have characters behave in basically stupid ways. You have two choices there: either build their characters to show that they're stupid people (reading stories about stupid people isn't terribly enjoyable, at least for me, but maybe there's a market), or get the action going so fast that the readers don't have a moment to say, "Hey, wait a minute! Why don't they just go to the bus station and buy a ticket?"

Next thought: On plots. Plots are simple things, like a piece of string is simple, but they are complex, like a three-strand four lay Turk's Head (http://members.tripod.com/~cubclub/turk1t.html) made with that same piece of string is complex. When you're thinking about plot, and about the shape of your book, consider the classical unities.

These come from Greek drama, and are unity of time, unity of place, and unity of action. In a Greek play (formal as sonnet, those things were), all the action takes place in twenty-four hours (that's unity of time), it all takes place in one location (e.g. the square in front of the temple -- that's unity of place), and everything that happens deals directly with the climax (that's unity of action, and it's a darn good idea, chums).

Your novel probably won't take place in just one location in twenty-four hours. Still, it's probably a good idea to use the minumum number of locations, and the minimum time. If your character flies off to Miami to learn something he could have just as conveniently learned in New York, leave him in New York. If a whole chunk of your novel can be replaced with the words "What with this and that some five years passed," you may have to refine the focus of your book or replace that part of the novel with a chapter break or a line break.

Let us take for an example The Lord of the Rings. The time covered is almost exactly one year, and an action-packed year it is. Yet it starts in the Shire and it ends in the Shire. The hobbits are center stage on the first page, and they're center stage on the last page. You could do worse than to follow this template.

Let me give you another aphorism: The oldest engines pull the heaviest freight. If you were going to write a modern literary novel, you might consider taking The Trojan Women (http://classics.mit.edu/Euripides/troj_women.html), and setting it among the Mormons of Mesa, Arizona, one afternoon in August, 1965. Vietnam is just ramping up. It's hot.

You've done your research on time and place and modes of speech ... and off you go.

By the time you've done the book won't resemble the original at all; you'll have something totally your own. Yet it will have a structure, and the structure will be sound, and your readers will appreciate it.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 12:51 AM

James D. Macdonald
From "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim"
Absolute Write Water Cooler
Novel Writing forum

Other random thoughts: On words.

Beware the word "Somehow." You can use it in dialog when the character doesn't know, but you should avoid it in narrative. "Somehow" means the author doesn't know either. This is bad. The reader is trusting you to know what's going on and to guide him to the climax of the book. "Somehow" makes the reader look at you askance and ask "What's the matter with this guy?" It's as if he were following a guide through trackless wilderness, when the guide suddenly gets a puzzled expression on his face and says "Beats the heck out of me."

Example: Our hero is trying to sneak into a warehouse. The door is sliding shut. Then the narrative: Somehow the door failed to close all the way. What? Why didn't it close? Figure this out, author, and come back when you know. Did a mouse get jammed in the gears? Either come up with something reasonable, or give the guy a different way into the warehouse. If you do nothing else, delete the word "somehow." You still have the same action, but without the moment of doubt.

Next: Choose only necessary detail. You aren't constructing a full world. You're giving your reader a blueprint with which he'll construct his own world, which will be consistent with his own needs and experiences. If the room the reader imagines and the room you imagine differ, what of it? Give the reader three points and he'll do the rest. Just be consistent, and choose the important things. If it's necessary that there be a clock in the room, mention it. If it doesn't matter whether there's a clock, don't mention it. The reader may put one there, or not put one there, and it won't matter to the story. The room will be the right room for him.

Readers assume that everything you mention is important. They'll hold those things in their heads. Give them a payoff for everything you mention, a reward for their effort. You can't keep writing checks against your literary account without adding literary capital.

On sentences: There were and It was are weak openings. Not all sentences need to be strong: contrast and rhythm demand that sentence strength vary. Nevertheless, be aware of this fact, and use it as a tool. You are the author. All the words are yours. Be conscious of what you're doing.

Anything that doesn't add to your story subtracts from it. You know what you're doing with your tale; later on students and critics may come by and try to guess, but you know.

Take charge. This is your world, you are the master. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hiya, Jerry --

When's your contest deadline? Deadlines are good things. They concentrate the mind wonderfully.

By "Have a life," I mean don't spend all your time in your room writing. Writers need to get out of the house, talk to people, observe the world. No one can create new worlds until he masters this one.

By "classes," I don't mean writing classes. Those can be good or bad experiences. I don't necessarily think they're required. By classes, I mean things like going to a local college and taking a course in Classical Mechanics, or Origami, or First Aid. Everything, everywhere, fits into your mind, ready to come out when a story needs it. Writers are generalists.

Did I ever mention my Quick Slick Research Method?

When you're getting set to write a story set in a particular time or place, you need to become an Instant Expert on the subject. Here's what you do. Go to the Children's Room in your local library and read a couple of recent kids' books on the subject. That'll get you up to speed, give you an idea of the shape of the material you'll need, and an introduction to the terms and people.

Now go to the adult section, and start reading the adult books on the subject. Start with the big survey books. The Oxford Book of _____ for example. Read only the chapters you need. It's easy to get distracted. Take notes.

Then go to the specialty books. Read the parts that you need (and you will know which parts those are from your previous reading), paying attention to the footnotes (the footnotes are where learned professors float their crackpot theories, or ***** about other learned professors -- footnotes are great fun). Take more notes.

You are now sufficiently an expert on your subject to write your novel. When you've got a decent draft of your novel, take it to someone who genuinely is an expert on the subject to read it and comment on it. Many academics are lonely folks, only too eager to talk with you. Cops and firefighters and emergency nurses love to talk with writers. Coroners will make time in their day to read your book and comment on it. Honest. You'll mention them in the acknowledgements in the front of the book and that's all the reward they want.

On Writer's Digest: this is the Brides Magazine of writing. It's a great mag when you're getting started and planning the wedding. It isn't so good on telling you what to do after the wedding when you wake up the next morning beside some fat guy who snores, smells of sweat, and has stubble all over his chin.

Everyone has a subscription to Writer's Digest once. It's time to reevaluate your career if you renew your subscription. Think about the old maid with the lifetime subscription to Brides Magazine. Yeah, it's like that.

One other thing about Writer's Digest: If an agent advertises there, cross that agent off your list.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 01:00 AM

James D. Macdonald
From "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim"
Absolute Write Water Cooler
Novel Writing forum

A very short post today. Holidays, kids home from school, you know....

First, a Trick for Analyzing your Writing:

Take ten or twenty consecutive pages, and tape them, side by side, to the wall of your livingroom.

Go stand on the other side of the room.

Are all the pages big grey blocks of text? If so, perhaps you need to break things up with dialog, with paragraphs of varying length, with line breaks. All short paragraphs and dialog? Your reader won't have a chance to catch his breath and assimilate what you've just said. Your text should be varied, just as your story varies. The rhythm of your story will be apparent across the room. Big grey blocks = boring. All jagged = tiring.

============

Next thing: Two books for you to read, over the weekend. They're novels, but you'll find lessons on writing in them if you care to dig those lessons out.

First, The Sun, the Moon, and the Stars (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0312860390) by Steven Brust.

Second, Misery (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0451169522) by Stephen King.

Of the two I recommend the Brust more highly. You can buy copies, get 'em from your library, interlibrary loan, whatever.

(Please note, too, that Brust's book is still in print, even though it was first published in 1987.)

Is everyone so stunned that they don't have anything to say?

Why did I recco Misery?

This is all In My Opinion, of course, but books are about something other than the surface plot. What I think this one is about is the relationship between the author and the reader.

The author is the reader's slave, the reader's captive. The reader has control of what we write. The reader also takes away parts of us.

Observe the long descriptions of how the author has to play fair with the reader, and provide beliveable explanations for the events in the novel. The reader will withdraw her approval if we fail to satisfy her, if we fail to make her believe. The discussion, with examples, of how the fictional author makes the fictional "biggest fan" believe that Misery didn't really die at the end of the previous book is brilliant. And it works through the choices the author has to make, why some lines are right, and why some lines are wrong.

I enjoy looking at the why of a thing. If I know why, I can often figure out what needs to happen in some other specific case by looking behind the surface.

The descriptions of what it feels like to be writing (the "hole in the page") resemble what writing seems like to me.

The clues that this is meant to be a writing manual include the long digression on why Corrasible Bond (do they even still make that stuff?) is dreadfully wrong for writing a novel.

So, aside from the action/adventure/thriller surface of this novel, read it as a parable of the creative process as it pertains to writers and their readers (who are we without our readers?) and I think you'll find lessons that can improve your own writing.

All I can really say is that I found it useful.

-----

Reph, not a day goes by when I don't think "Gee, if only I got serious about this I could be really productive." But yeah, we are prolific. That's what it takes to average two novels and two short stories a year, and that's what it takes (at least, that's what it takes me) to make a living doing this.

Reprinted from elsewhere on this board:

Your readers can always tell when you're bored.

Writing is a lousy make-money-fast scheme. If you aren't doing it at least a little bit for love, I can point to a lot of things that will bring you more money for less work.

Next: Observe this diagram (http://www.sdcoe.k12.ca.us/score/actbank/tvenn.htm).

The area labeled "A" is what fascinates you; what you might write about. The area labeled "B" is what fascinates everyone else, that they want to read about. The area labeled "C" is what's marketable.

You can't guess this in advance.

Take, for example, Maureen F. McHugh. She was fascinated by Chinese people, gay guys, and subways. She wrote China Mountain Zhang (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0312860986/). This was her first novel, and it was picked out of the slush pile. It was published, remains in print, and led her to a career in mainstream literary novels.

The books you're seeing now as the Hot New Releases were bought two years ago. The trend as to who's buying what has already moved on. Write what's going to be on the shelf two years from now, not what's on the shelf today.

King is an interesting writer. He's one of the full-blown Calvinist writers; Calvinism tends toward horror. (Once, when asked why he wrote horror, King replied "What makes you think I have a choice?")

(An example of ur-horror, that passionately American genre, is Johnathan Edwards' "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God." (http://www.jonathanedwards.com/sermons/Warnings/sinners.htm) People traveled for miles to hear Edwards preach. When he spoke people would weep, or fall to the floor senseless. That's more than a good sermon: that's entertainment.)

King is also, if memory serves, one of the few writers who has taught English at every level in the American educational system. That's more than a need for money -- that's a love of teaching. I expect that on some level everything he's written is meant to be didactic.

IMHO, however, when he's remembered, King will be remembered for his short works.

Oh, yes, his On Writing ("http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0743455967) is highly recommended.

[/font]

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 01:05 AM

James D. Macdonald
From "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim"
Absolute Write Water Cooler
Novel Writing forum

Elsewhere at the Water Cooler (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessageRange?topicID=28.to pic&start=1&stop=20), I find a reference to this essay: How Lucky Can You Get? (http://www.pw.org/mag/0305/rose.htm) by whiney Usenet troll M. J. Rose. (See? I can be snarky.)

Okay, guys, go read the article, all the way down to What’s the Problem?

M. J. lacks the publishing experience to figure out the answer to her own question. Y'see, I know exactly what happened to "Carl P." He had Golden Word Syndrome.

His first book was publishable, or would be, with editing. Perhaps a lot of editing. The editor liked the voice, or the story, or some aspect of what was a deeply-flawed but correctable work.

"Carl P" got the contract. The editing process started. Then Carl decided that his words were golden. He refused to participate in the editing process, he vetoed the editor's suggestions, he wouldn't make the changes that would turn his manuscript into a commercial novel, his ego was too big to allow him to listen to a mere editorial assistant. He bought a "STET Dammit!" rubber stamp.

Read the little tale that M. J. tells with that in mind. Makes sense now, doesn't it? The editor's actions aren't inexplicable and unmotivated any more, eh?

Carl P's book was printed as unedited slush, with predictable results.

I recently had a chat with a New York editor who had bought a first novel out of the slush pile. The book was interesting, the story moved right along, the voice was unique -- and it fell apart in the last quarter. The author had no clue how to end a novel for all that he'd started brilliantly.

Where most editors write revision letters, this editor wrote a revision novella.

"What will you do," I asked, "if the author won't make the changes?"

"Put a cheap cover on it," the editor replied.

Here endeth the lesson.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 01:14 AM

James D. Macdonald
From "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim"
Absolute Write Water Cooler
Novel Writing forum

Hi, Karen --

Just wanted to say that you've been saying good, true, and useful things on this board. And I'm honored that you're posting here ... I love a good romance, but darned if I can write one.

First, the formatting thing:

The only blank lines in your story will be where you expect linebreaks, and those will have a centered # in them, thusly:

"But why are you telling me all this?" Jane asked. She

passed a trembling hand across her brow.

#

Next morning, Paul awoke to find his refrigerator had gone

off in the middle of the night. Again.

As you can see, you indent the beginning of each paragraph (and each time a new character speaks, it's a new paragraph).

Let's try your example:

"Blah blah blah," he said.

"Blah blah blah," she replied. She then went on to do

something else that was interesting here.

Notice that you end the quoted words with punctuation, either a comma, an explanation point, a question mark, or something else. The comma stands for a period.

I will comment here that "said" is a totally invisible word, and far preferable to all the "said-bookism" synonyms you'll find out there: he bellowed, he shouted, he rasped, he gritted, he snarled, he yelled, he demurred, he apologized, he extemporized, he welded, he [some verb that is not said].

==============

Now on the subject of plots and such:

Many years ago I studied magic. Back when I was six years old, one Halloween night, the firefighters had a Halloween party at the firehouse. I went with my parents. They had a magician! I decided rigth then that I was going to be a magician when I grew up.

I got pretty good at it, if I say so myself. I made money in high school putting on magic shows, doing kids parties and such. It was fun. (It's all the entertainment business!)

Along the way I ran into a book called Magic As A Hobby (http://magicref.tripod.com/books/elliothobby.htm) by Bruce Elliott. In there, I found a line that's stuck with me, that I've found to be absolutely true: "If you know a thousand ways of finding a selected card and only one way of revealing it, to the audience you only know one trick. If you know one way of finding a selected card and a thousand ways of revealing it, to the audience you know a thousand tricks."

I've shifted my focus over the years from magic to writing (a kind of magic all its own -- genuine thought transference!) but that lesson stuck with me.

Up above, I suggested using the plot of The Trojan Women, transported to Mesa, Arizona, in 1965. Suppose you wrote that book. Then suppose you put the plot of The Trojan Women into a novel set in feudal Japan. Then you did another novel with the plot of The Trojan Women, this one set in upper-class Westchester in 2003. Then you used The Trojan Women for a novel set among in the biker bars of Long Beach, California, in 1990.

To the readers those would be very different novels.

A bit upstream Karen commented that all novels are about relationships. I'll generalize that a bit: All novels are about people. Write about people, folks. The rest all follows.

From this you can further derive: You must become an expert on people. You have to learn to see through the eyes of others. You have to understand yourself very well, then you have to understand them.

Now, to reward you: A magic trick (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/tricks1.htp).

That's part of casting the author as a character. It doesn't really matter, provided you are consistent throughout the work.

After that, the test is does it work for you?

Hiya, Kim --

No, I've never been on scribendi's bb (and I go by my real name wherever I go -- I'm me, I stand behind my opinions).

Hi, Hapi. Good to see you here. Chime in any time you like.

===========

What shall we talk about tonight?

How about endings?

Books have beginnings, middles, and ends.

If your book doesn't have an end, your readers will be left unsatisfied, as if the chocolate cake they were promised for desert was snatched away from them at the last minute.

I've talked about chess games as a metaphor for the novel. All chess games end. Either with a checkmate, a stalemate, a draw, or a resignation.

Of these, only the checkmate is of interest. We want that checkmate ending to our books. When the reader puts our book down, he should say "I didn't see that coming, but by golly that was the absolutely right ending."

("What do we do if we're planning a sequel? What if this is one book in a series? What then, Uncle Jim?" I can hear you asking.

"My children," I reply, "the book must have an end anyway. You can leave room for more stories in the same world, with the same characters, but this story is finished. Suppose your reader is a sailor, a thousand miles away from shore, six months before he'll get home, and this is the only book on board his ship. Do you want to frustrate that poor swabbie, leave him hanging? No! Give him a conclusion, a satisfying conclusion.")

How to tell you've reached the end of your story:

The characters suddenly don't know what to do next. They wander around. One of them orders out for pizza.

A novel is not life: In life there are always loose ends; the story never really finishes. This is art: Here all the plot threads are gathered together. Sure, you can leave little things lying around ready to pick up in another book, but you can't leave major plot-arcs unresolved. The reader won't stand for it; he will throw your book against the wall; he won't buy your next book. Here's the game: You win if the reader buys your next book.

Do not leave your reader in any doubt that you've come to the end of the story! Imagine a play ... where the audience didn't know to start applauding, when to rise to their feet, when to throw bouquets on the stage. The playwright gives the audience clues that This Is It. If nothing else, when the lights come up, and the whole cast walks on stage and takes their bows, the audience knows This Play is Over, and it's time to go home.

So ... signal that it's the end. Coming to the last page isn't enough. I've run into books where I've been frustrated because the last page wasn't the end of the story. Do not do likewise.

Bad endings: There are three classic errors. One is getting into a land war in Asia. But the other two, almost as deadly are ending your book thusly:

1) It was only a dream.
2) ...and they were all run over by a truck.

Yes, yes, I know. Alice in Wonderland (http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/People/rgs/alice-table.html) ends with "Oh, I've had such a curious dream!" That book has many other virtues, and the ending is in fact perfect for that book. The danger with using the "it was only a dream" ending with your book is that the reader has been worried about these characters all the way along, he's been hoping for them, fearing for them, and now, suddenly, you've told him that it didn't matter. Yes, it's all a fiction, yet our readers have laughed genuine laughs, shed genuine tears, actually checked to makes sure the windows were all locked, all over our creations. Don't remind him that you just made it up. One of the little fictions of our fictions is that we don't tell them that it's fiction.

The "...and they were all run over by a truck" ending has the element of arbitrariness to it; the author has gotten tired of these toys so he throws them away. Possibly the author didn't know how to end the story, and this presented a convenient way to do it after about three hundred pages. Again, the reader has gotten to care about the characters (at least we hope so, and if the reader is still following along at this point we know he does), and will be upset, perhaps angered, that someone he likes dies for no good reason other than the author said so.

Okay, okay, you're trying to make a point that life is random, brutish, and short, that we all die, and that existence is meaningless. Make your point some other way; this one has already been done.

What both of these endings have in common: The characters' actions didn't matter. That's disrespectful to your readers. Readers can tell when they're being dissed.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 01:19 AM

James D. Macdonald
From "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim"
Absolute Write Water Cooler
Novel Writing forum

Since HConn brought up the Evil Overlord Plot Generator, here's a lot more about it (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/000290.html).

I'm going to recycle a bit right now, from another thread here. [This thread no longer exists]

In that thread, HConn mentioned <A href="a href="http://www.scriptsecrets.net/articles/magnify.htm" target="_new">this site.

The following was my reply there.

(I'm thinking that after this I might blather on a bit about Point of View (POV), but that's for another post.)

Quote:

Well, books aren't movies (for all that they're both part of the entertainment industry). They're different art forms, both of which need to appeal to a mass audience. Yet, you can learn from them. I'm a big believer in finding lessons about writing in all sorts of non-writing or peripherally-writing places.

From where I sit, ideas are vastly overrated. One of the things you'll get sick of when y'all become Famous Big Name Writers (or obscure, small time writers like me) is the guy who comes up to you and says, "I"ve got a great idea for a book! You write it and we'll split the money!"

Ideas. I've got lots of my own, thanks. Aphorisms: Watt-Evans' Law: "There is no idea so stupid that a sufficiently talented writer can't make it into an entertaining story." Feist's Collorary to Watt-Evans' Law: "There is no idea so brilliant that a sufficiently ham-handed writer can't make an unreadable story out of it."

The Pump Up The Volume method (what this fellow calls "Magnification") can work, if you're the sort of person it works for. It won't give you sex, lies, and videotape (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/sex-lies-and-videotape/James-Spader/e/043396904897) but it might give you Armageddon (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Armageddon/Bruce-Willis/e/717951000842/).

Films play games with higher stakes than novels, at least in the terms of cash outlay. For a movie maker, the special effects budget may constrain the storyline. For me as a novelist, it costs exactly the same for me to type "Fred lit a cigarette" as it costs me to type "The world ended with an earth-shattering Kaboom."

Study the story-telling caracteristics of allied artforms, yes. Remember that what you personally are doing is writing a novel.

You want an example of plot, pure plot, driving a work? Try Sweeney Todd In Concert (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Sweeney-Todd-in-Concert/Lonny-Price/e/014381152920/). This performance has no sets, minimal costuming, minimal props, minimal movement. Yet the plot itself, expressed through the characters, pushes us right along. Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, has lots of narrative juice. This particular story has been consistently finding an audience for the last 160 years. When you analyse the themes, you'll find classical roots. I really recommend this particular performance of this particular work. Look at is as an example of Plot At Work.

(Oh, incidentally, John Q (http://www.findology.com/partner/rt.php?q=John%20Q) sucked.)
===========

Sing it, sister!

I personally want to enlighten, teach, amuse, and touch the hearts and souls of those people who read my books.

So do I. So does everyone. But you know what? If they've thrown your book across the room you aren't going to enlighten, teach, amuse or anything else those readers.

Same as if they put down your book after the first chapter, meaning to pick it up again later, and never do.

You've made a deal with your reader: Give me a couple bucks and a couple hours, and I'll show you a good time. The reader wants you to succeed. The reader is willing to help you out. Just don't give the reader the idea that he's put more thought into the story than you did.

Who was it, Sam Goldwyn, who said "If you want to send a message, call Western Union"? Same with your book. Sure, you can put a message in it. That isn't the reason someone will read your book. Put your message on a different level. On the main level, put this: A story, fully satisfying.

Good point about the detective story. The reader wants you to play fair with him, including putting all the clues on the page, so the reader can solve it right along with the detective. Imagine if you read a mystery where it turned out the killer was some guy you'd never heard of, who'd played no part in the book. It wasn't the jealous boyfriend, the butler, the old school chum, or the dishonest stock broker ... it was some random guy, and the cops find him because he confessed after being arrested for some unrelated crime somewhere around page 300.

Or suppose, on the last page, the police inspector says, "Well, beats heck out of me who did it ... put this one in the Cold Cases file. I've got enough other crimes to work on." That's not going to be too satisfying either.

You made a deal with your reader. You have to carry out your part.

Soon ... POV!

Before we start POV, let's look at yet another list of rules for writing (http://elmoreleonard.com/archives/010elrules.htm), this time from Elmore Leonard (http://www.powells.com/partner/34766/s?kw=Leonard+Elmore).

Mr. Leonard is a noted stylist; widely published, well respected, best-selling. Pray notice when he says that the word for "said" is "said." He also comments on the author intruding in the book. He has other things of great interest.

What we're going to look at today is this bit: "If I write in scenes and always from the point of view of a particular character -- the one whose view best brings the scene to life -- I'm able to concentrate on the voices of the characters telling you who they are and how they feel about what they see and what's going on, and I'm nowhere in sight."

So.

The Point of View is the pair of eyes that is observing the scene. Those eyes, belonging to a character, are your camera. Those ears, belonging to a character, are the microphones that pick up the dialog in the scene.

You may or may not tell your readers what the chacter is thinking. You must tell your readers what one particular character is seeing and hearing.

If the character is not in the room for part of the scene, the readers will not see that part of the scene. Therefore you must either:

a) use a different viewpoint character for that scene, or
b) break the scene into two scenes, with a different viewpoint character in each.

Who should be your viewpoint character? Answer: the character who can best see or describe the scene; the most interesting view of the scene, "the one whose view best brings the scene to life."

How can you tell which one's view best brings the scene to life?

Experience. Reading other authors and asking yourself "Why that character? Why that scene?" Writing your own works, and experimenting with the characters and the scenes. You will eventually get the experience to choose a viewpoint and stick with it in each scene.

Your viewpoint character does not need to be your main character, or even a major character. Remember when I told you to cherish your minor characters? This is one of the places where they can come in handy: they're great viewpoints.

You can go through an entire novel without ever seeing even one scene from the point of view of the protagonist.

If a scene isn't working for you, before your try the other two general-purpose scene-fixes (to wit: shortening the scene or cutting it entirely), try this: rewrite the scene from the point of view of a different character.

What the character sees (that is, what he notices) will depend on the character. You remember Holmes saying to Watson, "You see, but you do not observe"? The same thing is true for your viewpoint characters. Each one of them will filter what they hear, what they see, and consequently what they convey to the reader.

Let us imagine a wedding reception. How would it be described by: a) the grooms' father (a military man), b) the groom's ex-girlfriend (an interior decorator), c) the bride, d) a criminal who is there on business, e) a cop who is there as a guest, f) one of the musicians, or g) the preacher?

Each one of them will see different details as important. Each one of them will hear the conversations differently even if they report them word-for-word. Each of them is more likely to stand in one place than another.

How can you keep close point of view? Try this: Write the scene in first-person as told by your viewpoint character. Then recast the scene in the revision stage to third person.

Readers will notice if you change point of view in the middle of a scene! They will be either annoyed, confused, or lost. Writers have a hard time noticing POV shifts -- this is because they are always looking through their own eyes, and know where they are. This leads to the "head story." A head story is one that's in the author's head, not on the page.

Alas, the only story the reader gets is the one on the page.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 01:23 AM

James D. Macdonald
From "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim"
Absolute Write Water Cooler
Novel Writing forum

In slush I have seen writers change viewpoints as often as three times in one paragraph. This is the sort of thing that gets manuscripts slipped back into return envelopes with one of those little one-page photocopied notes that writers hate to get.

Another viewpoint is the one I call "John Ford's Camera." This is the viewpoint that just sort-of hangs there. It's the Eye of God.

The viewpoint character then is the Author. You. In this case you must be very aware that you, the writer, are a character and maintain scrupulous consistency throughout. (True, you can turn to your audience and address them as "Gentle Reader," though this is seldom seen these days outside of humor, but be ready for the heavy downside too: you are never allowed to use another viewpoint if you're already using your own, and the reader may come to dislike your character.)

-----------

Now comes that point of today's ramblings where I throw out little pearls of wisdom.

Here's one: Say one of your characters is the world's greatest political orator. Do not, under penalty of having your book flung across the room by your readers, attempt to reproduce that orator's speeches. Unless you personally are the world's greatest orator, anything you write will fall short of the reader's expectation. (Same rule applies if your character is the world's greatest poet, greatest preacher, greatest writer, greatest anything. Don't try to provide samples.)

What you do is this: Show people's reactions to the character when he's doing his thing. Don't reproduce the sermon, show the congregation falling to the floor weeping.

A better reply in a bit, Debra, but here's a principle:

In writing, you can do absolutely anything if it works.

The "if it works" part is the tough bit. Try, read it carefully, be honest with yourself. Get the reactions from your first readers.

Think of your novel as a video game. Every time you try something, if it works, you get some number of points. If it doesn't work, you lose that same number of points. The fancier and more difficult the thing you try, the more points associated with it.

You'll start the game with a certain number of points. How many depends on the reader -- if he's read and enjoyed a previous work by you, you'll get more points than if he's never heard of you before. If you're writing in a genre he likes, you'll get more points than if you aren't exactly what he was looking for, but he was bored and there you were.

You've got some points, though, or the cover never gets opened.

Now you start adding and subtracting points for "things that work."

If your score ever goes down to zero, it's Bzzzzt! Game over! and the reader throws the book across the room (or, more demurely, puts it down and doesn't pick it back up).

If you want to use omniscent narrator, find an author you like who uses it, read his book critically to see the technique, then go and do likewise.

A sufficiently vigorous story will overcome many rough patches.

=======

Aphorism: Style is what you can't help doing.

I'll try to make it to the library tomorrow to find a Mary Higgins Clark book. Then we'll see if we can find a scene to discuss.

Meanwhile, this bit from an article by Rob Killheffer (http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/depts/rk0307.htm) seems pertinent:

Quote:

It’s television’s fault. Television and movies. Visual media. In so many of these indie publications the narrative point of view slides around like a hot rock on ice, and observations intrude without any clear viewpoint at all. Consider this, from Thoughtmaster: “a skeletal face…whose shifting features left the viewer confused.” What viewer? Or this: “The voice was surprisingly strong from such a diaphanous figure.” Surprising to whom? Surely not to the only other person in the scene, who knows the speaker well.

These writers’ imaginations have been shaped by visual storytelling, in which there’s always an implied viewpoint — that of the audience, the camera, the peeping lens. They conceive their scenes as if they’re presented on a screen, and when they commit their prose, the camera remains, lurking outside the frame.

There’s no other explanation for scene shifts like those in Exile. As Jeff Friedrick and his pal Carl leave the bar where they’ve met, we’re told: “At the bar, a man turned his head and watched them go. He was tall, and a brief flare of light revealed reddish hair. Before the spotlight moved on, odd points of light deep in green eyes gave the impression of motion.…” Gave the impression to whom? The viewing protocols of film and television help us make sense of it: The two men who have been the focus of the scene get up and head for the door, and the camera pans aside to settle on this watcher. His reddish hair is “revealed” to us, the audience. We’re the ones who receive the “impression of motion.” It’s as if, in these moments, the authors are not crafting prose but working out a screenplay. I recall the oldest and most basic advice offered to the aspiring writer: Read! Read! And read some more! If you want to write a novel, don’t draw your skills from the big — or the small — screen.

The whole article is worth reading.

One of the points about point of view is that you don't need to tell the readers who your point of view character is, so long as you know who he is, and you remain consistent. Your readers are subconsciously constructing a world under your direction. If your blueprint doesn't make the unseen parts line up, the reader will disbelieve.

Alas, my library didn't have a copy of Swan Song. Instead, I got a copy of Moonlight Becomes You (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0671867113/) by Mary Higgins Clark.

Here's the last scene from Chapter 34:

At six-thirty, dressed for dinner, they sat on the back porch, sipping cocktails and looking out at Narragansett Bay.

"You look great, Mom," Neil said with affection.

"Your mother's always been a pretty woman, and all the tender loving care she's received from me over the last forty-three years has only enhanced her beauty," his father said. Noticing the bemused expression on their faces, he added, "What are you two smiling at?"

"You know full well I've also waited on you hand and foot, dear," Dolores Stephens replied.

"Neil, are you still seeing that girl you brought up here in August?" his father asked.

"Who was that?" Neil wondered momentarily. "Oh, Gina. No, as a matter of fact, I'm not." It seemed the right time to ask about Maggie. "There is someone I've been seeing who's visiting her stepmother in Newport for a couple of weeks. Her name is Maggie Holloway; unfortunately she left New York before I got her phone number here."

"What's the stepmother's name?" his mother asked.

"I don't know her last name, but her first name is unusual. Finnuala. It's Celtic, I believe."

"That sounds familiar," Dolores Stephens said slowly, searching her memory. "Does it to you, Robert?"

"I don't think so. No, that's a new one on me," he told her.

"Isn't it funny. I feel as though I've heard that name recently," Dolores mused. "Oh, well, maybe it will come to me."

The phone rang. Dolores got up to answer it.

"Now no long conversations," Robert Stephens warned his wife. "We've got to leave in ten minutes."

The call, however, was for him. "It's Laura Arlington," Dolores Stephens said as she handed the portable phone to her husband. "She sounds terribly upset."

Robert Stephens listened for a minute before speaking, his voice consoling. "Laura, you're going to get yourself sick over this. My son, Neil, is in town. I've spoken to him about you, and he will go over everything with you in the morning. Now promise me you'll calm yourself down.

It seems to me that the POV is 3rd person (http://www.livejournal.com/~jonquils/2112.html) omniscient (http://www.sla.purdue.edu/academic/engl/theory/narratology/terms/omniscient.html). We'll talk more about it in a bit, perhaps look at the whole chapter.

In each case, we know exactly whose eyes we are looking through, to whom things "seemed" or who "noticed" what.

I will comment that the last line is a great chapter close.

More anon; right now I'm off to have Movie Night at my house.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 01:33 AM

James D. Macdonald
From "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim"
Absolute Write Water Cooler
Novel Writing forum

Is this all sounding too much like high school English class?

Regardless ... onward!

Black = narrator, or undefined POV.
Red = Robert Stephens' POV
Green = Neil Stephens' POV
Blue = Dolores Stephens' POV

<BLOCKQUOTE>
<HR>

At six-thirty, dressed for dinner, they sat on the back porch, sipping cocktails and looking out at Narragansett Bay.

"You look great, Mom," Neil said with affection.

"Your mother's always been a pretty woman, and all the tender loving care she's received from me over the last forty-three years has only enhanced her beauty," his father said. Noticing the bemused expression on their faces, he added, "What are you two smiling at?"

"You know full well I've also waited on you hand and foot, dear," Dolores Stephens replied.

 "Neil, are you still seeing that girl you brought up here in August?" his father asked.

"Who was that?" Neil wondered momentarily. "Oh, Gina. No, as a matter of fact, I'm not." It seemed the right time to ask about Maggie. "There is someone I've been seeing who's visiting her stepmother in Newport for a couple of weeks. Her name is Maggie Holloway; unfortunately she left New York before I got her phone number here."

"What's the stepmother's name?" his mother asked.

"I don't know her last name, but her first name is unusual. Finnuala. It's Celtic, I believe."

"That sounds familiar," Dolores Stephens said slowly, searching her memory. "Does it to you, Robert?"

"I don't think so. No, that's a new one on me," he told her.

"Isn't it funny. I feel as though I've heard that name recently," Dolores mused. "Oh, well, maybe it will come to me."

The phone rang. Dolores got up to answer it.

"Now no long conversations," Robert Stephens warned his wife. "We've got to leave in ten minutes."

The call, however, was for him. "It's Laura Arlington," Dolores Stephens said as she handed the portable phone to her husband. "She sounds terribly upset."

Robert Stephens listened for a minute before speaking, his voice consoling. "Laura, you're going to get yourself sick over this. My son, Neil, is in town. I've spoken to him about you, and he will go over everything with you in the morning. Now promise me you'll calm yourself down.

<HR>
</BLOCKQUOTE>

Most of the undefined/narrator paragraphs are probably from Neil's POV.

The 3rd Omniscient POV is a very easy POV to write. Since the author knows everything it's a natural viewpoint. It is gratifying to the author's ego to stand in center stage.

This section, however, points up some of the difficulties of 3rd Omniscient: the author can come between the reader and the story (not a big problem in this book; it has lots of story), and the shifting POV can destroy unity thus confusing the reader.

A couple of minor infelicities:

You look great, Mom," Neil said with affection, verges on a Tom Swiftie: "I love hotdogs," Mandy said with relish, or "My headache is gone," Tom said absentmindedly.

Dolores mused is a said-bookism.

Neither of those things are wrong; they have to be watched lest unintentional humor be added to the stew.

Next post, I'm going to try to rewrite this scene from Neil's POV. (Neil is a major character.) Then I'll try again, from Dolores' POV (Dolores is a minor character.)

From Neil's POV:

<BLOCKQUOTE>
<HR>
At six-thirty, dressed for dinner, they sat on the back porch, sipping cocktails and looking out at Narragansett Bay.

"You look great, Mom," Neil said.

"Your mother's always been a pretty woman, and all the tender loving care she's received from me over the last forty-three years has only enhanced her beauty," his father said. H
e paused. "What are you two smiling at?"

"You know full well I've also waited on you hand and foot, dear," Dolores Stephens replied.

"Neil, are you still seeing that girl you brought up here in August?" his father asked.

"Who was that?" Neil wondered momentarily. "Oh, Gina. No, as a matter of fact, I'm not." It seemed the right time to ask about Maggie. "There is someone I've been seeing who's visiting her stepmother in Newport for a couple of weeks. Her name is Maggie Holloway; unfortunately she left New York before I got her phone number here."

"What's the stepmother's name?" his mother asked.

"I don't know her last name, but her first name is unusual. Finnuala. It's Celtic, I believe."

"That sounds familiar," Dolores Stephens said. "Does it to you, Robert?"

"I don't think so. No, that's a new one on me," he told her.

"Isn't it funny. I feel as though I've heard that name recently," Dolores said. "Oh, well, maybe it will come to me."

The phone rang. Dolores got up to answer it.

"Now no long conversations," Robert Stephens warned his wife. "We've got to leave in ten minutes."

The call, however, was for Robert. "It's Laura Arlington," Dolores Stephens said as she handed the portable phone to her husband. "She sounds terribly upset."

Robert Stephens listened for a minute before speaking, his voice consoling. "Laura, you're going to get yourself sick over this. My son, Neil, is in town. I've spoken to him about you, and he will go over everything with you in the morning. Now promise me you'll calm yourself down.

<HR>
</BLOCKQUOTE>

Before plunging back into Point of View, let me natter on a bit about Positional Chess Plotting.

What this means, to me, is that when I start a book I have a general idea of what I'd like to do with it (checkmate the other guy!), but I'm vague on the exact path that'll take me to that goal.

I know how I want the book to end, yet all the steps in between the start of chapter one and "The End" are as much a mystery to me as they are to my characters. The major characters are the pieces. The minor characters are the pawns.

I do know some things -- the size of the area I'm working in (be it a single room in a single night, or half a galaxy over a span of a millennium) -- and the characters I'll be playing with.

From experience, I know that it's best to get the characters out, early, moving. That they need to control the whole of the game board.

I know, from experience, where each kind of character is strongest. I try to put him there. It may not be obvious at the time why I'm moving a character to some location, but I know if he's there he can be active, and control part of the story.

I know to place my characters so that they guard and support each other. Then, later, when plot starts to twist, my characters are where they need to be. It's almost magical. This is how I arrive at the state where the book writes itself.

Then, as the story drives forward, suddenly the exact way in which I'll arrive at the conclusion becomes apparent, and it will be both surprising (because it's only now been revealed to the characters as it was only now revealed to the author) and at the same time inevitable, the "right" conclusion, since the characters had been heading to the places they needed to be since they were introduced.

This is a rather sloppy description of what I hope will become clear as you play through some chess games, noticing how the master moves, what he knows, what he doesn't know, and what he does because he knows it's the right move even though _why_ it's the right move isn't obvious to anyone at that time.

Let me give you the first three moves, with Chernev's commentary, from one of the games in Logical Chess Move By Move (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0713484640/). This one is an example of King's Gambit Declined. White is Blackburne, Black is Blanchard, the game was played in London, 1891. Please follow this with a chessboard in front of you.

<blockquote>

1. P-K4

Values were constant in many fields of endeavor, at the time this game was played.

Stories began, "Once upon a time."

Tic-tac-toe players put a cross in the center square.

Checker masters started with 11-15.

Chess masters opened with 1. P-K4.

Despite the researches of the scientists, these remain good beginnings.

1. . . . P-K4

Black opens lines for two of his pieces and establishes equilibrium in the center.

2. P-KB4

An offer of a Pawn to induce Black to surrender the center.

Accepting the gift enables White to continue with 3. P-Q4, and dominate the center with his Pawns. In addition, the opening of the Bishop file will offer White the opportunity of directing his attack at the vulnerable point KB7. This is a tender spot whether Black's King stays at home or castles.

2. . . . B-B4

Probably the safest way to decline the gambit:
a) The Bishop bears down on the center and controls an excellent diagonal.
b) The Bishop supplements the Pawn's attack on Q5 and prevents White from moving his Pawn to Q4.
c) The Bishop's presence at B4, overlooking KKt8, forbids White from castling in a hurry.

3. Kt-QB3

White avoids 3. PxP, as the reply (coming like a shot, probably) Q-R5ch 4. P-Kt3 (even worse is 4. K-K2, QxKP mate), QxKPch wins a Rook for Black.

White's actual move is not as energetic as 3. Kt-KB3, but Blackburne was trying to lure his opponent into playing 3. . . . BxKt 4. RxB, Q-R5ch 5. P-Kt3, QxRP when 6. R-Kt2 followed by 7. PxP gives White a fine game.

3. . . . Kt-QB3

A simple retort to the dubious invitation.

Black continues mustering his forces out on the field of action. In the fight for control of the center, his Knight does its share by exerting pressure on the squares K4 and Q5.

</blockquote>

This is a short game, just 18 moves. Please play it out to its astounding conclusion. It perfectly illustrates my theory about positional play in plotting.

Sometimes I'll do things in my first drafts for no other reason than to have stuff to play with later on. I might put the hero, Dick Steeljaw, on the same train as the villain, Rotten Robert, and both of them carrying identical carpetbags.

If nothing comes of it by the end of the story, the carpetbags (and indeed the train trip) can be deleted in the next draft. But if some interaction follows, with surprising results, the effect can seem magical.

(A note on names. In first drafts I often name my characters for their functions in the plot. The hero's buddy may be named "Buddy," while a minor viewpoint character may be named "Walkon" or "Cannon Fodder." Global Search-and-Destroy with a wordprocessor makes giving them all reasonable names easy in a subsequent draft, and makes keeping them straight easy in an early draft.)

Back to POV.

Here's that scene from Moonlight Becomes You, this time from Dolores' POV:

<BLOCKQUOTE>
<HR>

At six-thirty, dressed for dinner, they sat on the back porch, sipping cocktails and looking out at Narragansett Bay.

"You look great, Mom," Neil said as he air-kissed her cheek.

"Your mother's always been a pretty woman, and all the tender loving care she's received from me over the last forty-three years has only enhanced her beauty," her husband said. "What are you two smiling at?" he added a moment later.

"You know full well I've also waited on you hand and foot, dear," Dolores Stephens replied.

"Neil, are you still seeing that girl you brought up here in August?" Robert asked.

"Who? Oh, Gina. No, as a matter of fact, I'm not. There is someone I've been seeing," he continued, "who's visiting her stepmother in Newport for a couple of weeks. The girl's name is Maggie Holloway; unfortunately she left New York before I got her phone number here."

"What's the stepmother's name?" Dolores asked.

"I don't know her last name, but her first name is unusual. Finnuala. It's Celtic, I believe."

"That sounds familiar," Dolores Stephens said slowly, searching her memory. Something she'd read in the paper a week or two ago niggled at her. "Does it to you, Robert?"

"I don't think so. No, that's a new one on me," he told her.

"Isn't it funny. I feel as though I've heard that name recently," Dolores continued. "Oh, well, maybe it will come to me."

The phone rang. Dolores picked up the portable.

"Now no long conversations," Robert Stephens said. "We've got to leave in ten minutes."

The call, however, wasn't for Dolores. She nearly didn't recognized Laura Arlinton. The woman was talking too fast, repeating, "Robert, please? Is Robert there?"

"It's Laura," Dolores Stephens said as she got up to hand the phone to her husband. "She sounds terribly upset."

Robert Stephens took the phone, "This is Mr. Stephens," he said. A long pause followed. Then: "Laura, you're going to get yourself sick over this. My son, Neil, is in town. I've spoken to him about you, and he will go over everything with you in the morning. Now promise me you'll calm yourself down.

<HR>
</BLOCKQUOTE>

The main emphasis has gone from the new girlfriend, Maggie, (in the Neil's POV version) to Laura and the phone call (in the Dolores POV version.)

In the original Omniscient 3rd POV, the reader is left off-balance. This might be a deliberate choice -- we're about half-way through the book, where the reader is meant to be off-balance. This is a thriller, a mystery, and a romance, all at once. We're transitioning from the opening to the middle. In the opening, the writer opens up possibilities. In the middle the themes are balanced, strengthened, and simplified. We're going to start radically cutting down on possible directions the plot could go.

To sound like a high school English class there would have to be lots and lots of nattering on about gerunds and past participles and such.

English is a frightfully difficult language. The grammar consists of exceptions papered over with idioms, the pronunciation makes you wish we'd just stuck to ideograms instead of pretending that we're in a phonetic system (The tough coughed as he ploughed the dough ... I ask you!), and depending on how you look at it English either has just two tenses, or thirty-three. The line between nouns and verbs is porous. English is graced with a vocabularly larger than that of the next two languages combined: As James Nichols put it, "We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and riffle their pockets for new vocabulary."

Speaking English badly is easy. Speaking it well ... brother, you have a lifetime's work cut out for you.

If you slept through high school English, now's the time to make up those classes. Get a study book, work through the exercises. At the same time, read lots of novels by acknowledged master stylists. Some of it will rub off.

Oh, yes, and Fowler's Modern English Usage Dictionary (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0192813897/) (get the 2nd edition -- do not get any of the abominable recent editions) is a wonder and a delight. Read it, learn it, love it, live it.

Any thoughts? (other than "that guy is just weird?")

You're just weird. Sorry about that.

Otherwise: Third Person Omniscient is easy to do badly. I think we've already mentioned that it can come between the reader and the story; an additional layer of filtering. It can also become the author showing off, and no one likes a show-off.

Third Person Omniscient is a POV that's often attempted by new writers, since it maps easily to the way they look at their own story. An author can look into anyone's head at any time he pleases. He can go anywhere, do anything.

This is why he shouldn't. Because if something is too easy, the reader can cease to care.

Suppose we're in Third Person Omniscient, and we're in a murder mystery. The reader can become annoyed with the author, because the author knows whodunnit, and isn't telling. Remember above when we said, "Don't annoy the reader, and particularly don't get him annoyed with the author"?

That is where the skill comes in. Using Third Omniscent means you're facing a curveball. Even the best batters can miss curveballs.

Didn't mean to sound like I was putting down HS English classes, they just always annoyed me because we went over the exact same things every year.

I'm not responding to you directly, EJ -- I'm just sayin'.

If you're capable of writing two consecutive pages of grammatical English prose with standard spelling, you're already in the top ten percent of the slush heap.

Writing isn't a lottery -- the talk about the "odds" is misleading -- it's a game of skill. If you write total trash, no matter how many manuscripts you send in you won't get picked. If you write Really Good Stuff, the only thing that'll keep it from being published is if you don't submit it.

The cop that is suspected of a crime and pursued by his own department.

He may not be in his "comfort zone," but he's been moved to where he is active, has choices, and can have others act upon him.

He's been moved off the back row.

It's not what's best for the piece, but is what is best for the game as a whole.

Sure, those sacrifices and combinations that get people to gasp when they see 'em, and have the little (!) annotation when the game is written down.

But the characters don't care about the game as a whole.

Nor do the characters care about the book as a whole. The author, on the other hand, does. Just as a chessmaster will move and perhaps sacrifice his pieces, an author will move and perhaps sacrifice his characters.

Rather than their strongest positions, how about putting the characters into their most interesting situations? This is "interesting" as in the curse, "May you live in interesting times."

It's entirely possible to change POV in the course of revision. If a story doesn't work as third person omniscient, rewrite it as first person and see if it's better. You can do versions in third person limited, then rewrite it as third person dramatic. You can rewrite scenes from one character's point of view, and if that doesn't work, rewrite from a different character's point of view.

For example, our first published short story, "Bad Blood," (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0060267992/) was written in first draft in third person omniscient, then rewritten in first person. That's the form it sold in. (To the very first market we sent it to, thankyouverymuch.)

If you change POV with every scene change, you can still be in third-person limited.

Right then, points of view:

First person. "I"

The narrator can be the main character, a major character who also observes the main character, or a minor character who serves only as a reporter.

The narrator may or may not be reliable. (The Murder of Roger Akroyd (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0425173895/) is a classic unreliable narrator.)

The narrator is limited to what that one person knows.

Can you have more than one first-person narrator? Sure. Frankenstein (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0553212478/) has three first-person narrators, in a nested story.

One thing you can do with first person is create dramatic irony -- the reader knows something that the character doesn't. (An excellent example of this: there's a military museum in Danbury, CT. They have a diorama there, showing off the M3 halftrack. The diorama shows a couple of soldiers, one on a halftrack, the other on foot, having a conversation. The caption on the base of this model is "Relax, buddy, the war's nearly over." The irony is this: they're next to a roadsign that reads Bastogne 25 Km.)

First person can create immediacy and realism. It can also fail by falling into a love-fest for the author.

====

Second person: You did this, then you do that. Seldom seen outside of "choose your own adventures." If you happen to be a master stylist with a genius for this sort of thing, go for it. Elsewise, try to stay out of second person.

====

Third person:

You have your choice here: you can do with third person omniscient (the narrator knows everything, can drop into anyone's thoughts), third person limited (the narrator can only listen in to one person's thoughts), or third person dramatic (the narrator is an audience at a play, and can't hear anyone's thoughts).

Third person dramatic is the fastest moving POV, and is really good for action scenes.

There's nothing that says you can't mix 'n match between scenes or between chapters.

I personally dislike the third person omniscent -- since it's easy to do badly. If you are using third omniscient, make sure that the smallest unit in any given person's head is the paragraph. Treat thoughts like dialog that way. And put up markers so the reader will know whose head you're in. Confusing the reader is a bad plan.

Stephen King's Christine (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0451160444/) goes from first to third then back to first. How successful that is, I don't know, but it's there.

Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0374528373) bounces all over the POV map. That may be an artifact of a particular translation, or maybe not.

<a href="http://www.literature.org/authors/dickens-charles/christmas-carol/chapter-01.html" target="_new">A Christmas Carol</a> (and it's seasonal, too!) is in third person omniscient, except when it's in third person limited (it's in Scrooge's POV during the visits of the ghosts).

Here we go from the narrator, into Scrooge's mind, then into Cratchett's mind, then back to the narrator:

<blockquote>
<hr>

He had so heated himself with rapid walking in the fog and frost, this nephew of Scrooge's, that he was all in a glow; his face was ruddy and handsome; his eyes sparkled, and his breath smoked again.

``Christmas a humbug, uncle!'' said Scrooge's nephew. ``You don't mean that, I am sure.''

``I do,'' said Scrooge. ``Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? what reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough.''

``Come, then,'' returned the nephew gaily. ``What right have you to be dismal? what reason have you to be morose? You're rich enough.''

Scrooge having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment, said, ``Bah!'' again; and followed it up with ``Humbug.''

``Don't be cross, uncle,'' said the nephew.

``What else can I be,'' returned the uncle, ``when I live in such a world of fools as this Merry Christmas! Out upon merry Christmas. What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in 'em through a round dozen of months presented dead against you? If I could work my will,'' said Scrooge indignantly, ``every idiot who goes about with ``Merry Christmas'' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!''

``Uncle!'' pleaded the nephew.

``Nephew!'' returned the uncle, sternly, ``keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.''

``Keep it!'' repeated Scrooge's nephew. ``But you don't keep it.''

``Let me leave it alone, then,'' said Scrooge. ``Much good may it do you! Much good it has ever done you!''

``There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say,'' returned the nephew: ``Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!''

The clerk in the tank involuntarily applauded. Becoming immediately sensible of the impropriety, he poked the fire, and extinguished the last frail spark for ever.

``Let me hear another sound from you,'' said Scrooge, `` and you'll keep your Christmas by losing your situation. You're quite a powerful speaker, sir,'' he added, turning to his nephew. ``I wonder you don't go into Parliament.''

``Don't be angry, uncle. Come! Dine with us to-morrow.''

Scrooge said that he would see him -- yes, indeed he did. He went the whole length of the expression, and said that he would see him in that extremity first.

<hr>
</blockquote>

Having beaten POV into the ground (short, take-home lesson: chose the one that's best for your story) shall we turn to Slick Quick Tricks for Outlining?

Oh, and show of hands: how many of y'all did your two hours of writing today? How many of you have retyped the first chapter from your favorite novel?

I may be away for a few days, so I'll leave you with an aphorism:

Never explain anything to your readers before they care about it.

If your work is going to be published, the editor needs to work on it without distraction, and needs to be able to estimate the finished length of the piece as it'll be printed.

That's why courier ten is the preferred typeface (along with all the double-spaced lines and the one-inch margins).

Editors live by their eyes -- that's why sans-serif fonts are right out.

A <a href="http://scrivenerserror.blogspot.com/2003_12_01_scrivenerserror_archive.html#1070992140 06983999" target="_new">fine article</a> (and not merely because he quotes me).

Most of the examples usually given of sucessful self-publishing date from before WWII (when the whole face of publishing was very different), in the nineteenth century, or before.

Even then, most of the self-publishing apologists don't mention that Mark Twain went bankrupt self publishing, that Dickens lost money on A Christmas Carol, and that for every famous success there are thousands of others who sank without a trace.

Self-publishing these days works for: a) when the book will be sold face-to-face anyway (e.g. poetry anthologies sold by the poet at readings), or b) specialized non-fiction (town or regional histories; how-to books).

Yes, lightning may strike. No, it probably won't. Remember that in addition to writing a brilliant book, you need to be art director, designer, printer, salesforce, and warehouse. Those last things are non-trivial; professionals make money doing them all, and you'll be going head-to-head against professionals. Do you have the time and money? Will you break even? How big a gambler are you?

There' nothing wrong with self-publishing. I've done it myself. Sunset Creator, in other threads here, is doing it right now, and all I can do is cheer.

There is something wrong with vanity publishing. It's like self-publishing, only with an anchor tied to your leg.

More on other items as we go along. Lots of things have been brought up; I'll try to get to them all.

No, taxinomically, Dracula isn't a novel. It's a romance. A novel is a book-length work of realistic prose fiction. Dracula flunks the Realistic test.

(Other than that -- it was an epistolary romance. That is, it was presented as a set of letters, diary entries, and so on. It was also high-tech and up-to-the minute, set it its own present day -- parts of it were transcripts of that cutting edge technology, the dictaphone.)

Courier 10 and Courier 12 are equally acceptable.

(I thought I was going to be away -- turned out I wasn't.)

"a classmate who (i thought) wrote in a pedestrian way about boring topics. he really worked hard on his writing. kept at it. scott turow. the difference between inspiration and perspiration."

Way, way, way upstream I said something to the effect of "revise, revise, revise."

And rewrite.

Once you have the first draft, or a strong outline, anyway, you have the equivalent of a potter's ball of wet clay. Sure, there's a vase in there somewhere, but all you have at first is the clay.

I'll get practical about how to outline, and how to revise (at least a scheme that works for me), but first, before anything else, you have to have the raw material.

A story in your head doesn't count. What counts is what's on paper. Yeah, it's going to be dreadful. That's okay, I give you permission to be dreadful. The revision process will take care of the dread.

I'll write more on outlining and the shape of a plot in a bit (have to shovel the $#&^@ driveway first).

The quick answer on outline/plot generation/novel-writing software is that every kind I've tried has gotten between me and the story. The only "writing software" I use is a wordprocessor.

Two things that do prove useful (which I've used, at least) are a deck of file cards (sixty-nine cents for a hundred at the grocery store) and flowcharts (written on the back of a Chinese restaurant placemat is a good place to do 'em: about the right size, and hot-and-sour soup helps clarify the mind).

More anon.

Right, then.

The first thing about plotting is this: the reader's interest is always either rising or falling. It never stays at a constant level.

You want the reader's interest to rise over the general length of your book, peaking at the climax. Therefore, your book should start at a fairly low level -- just sufficient for reader to pick it up, and turn the page.

Each individual chapter will rise in interest, to its end. (You may also consider the cliffhanger in this context -- it at once provides closure for the current chapter, and provides a reason for the reader to start the next chapter (to find out what happened next), even though the next chapter starts at a lower level of interest.)

The next chapter will start at a slightly lower level of interest than the preceeding chapter's close, but rise to a higher level at its end than the end of the previous chapter.

You do not want to have your biggest, bestest, most special scene as your opening. The remainder of the book will be an anticlimax. Your strongest scene goes at the end of the book. Your second strongest goes at the half-way point. Your third strongest goes at the 3/4 point.

The source of information in the book and the source of interest should be the same things.

Your readers can only think of one thing at a time (the poor dears). It is vital that you don't confuse them.

Your first scene, your first page, your first paragraph: a) seizes attention, and b) starts with a low level of interest. This seems contradictory, but... remember what you are doing to your readers. You are creating an auto-hypnotic suggestible state in them, in which the page opens up and pictures and sounds show in their heads. This state is fragile, and must be rebuilt constantly.

On confusing the reader: If you have confused the reader, he will stop reading, or will not understand the next thing that happens in your book. Therefore... you must be clear enough so that the slowest reader in your proposed audience (recall that you cast your audience as one of the characters in your book) will be able to follow it, while at the same time having enough going on that the quicker readers won't become bored.

So:

Basic structure of your book:

1. Catch the reader's attention. Do this on page one. There are cheap ways of doing this: Sex and violence come at once to mind. The danger of using cheap tricks is a) you may come to rely on cheap tricks, and thus become a cheap author, and b) the reader may say "That's a cheap trick," and put your book back on the shelf." The game is to a) get the reader to pick up this book from the shelf and take it to the cash register, and b) have the same reader go to the bookstore specifically to buy your next book. Your page one gives you goal (a), the rest of the book gives you goal (b).

2. The introduction. The remainder of chapter one, tells the reader what sort of book he's in ... a cosy mystery, a sex-and-shopping romance, a gothic thriller, a literary exploration of angst ... whatever. This is where you introduce yourself to the readers, and get them to become the audience you want them to be. Are you the detached observer? The helpful lecturer? The comedian? Are they the crowd at a NASCAR track or the crowd at the Pimlico? Interest begins here. Ideally interest starts on page one, near the top, but it's permissible for interest to show up on page one near the bottom. This is chapter one's purpose.

3. You get your theme rolling. The theme will run throughout the book, but you state it here, at the beginning. Recall that I've said that every word must advance the plot, reveal character, or support the theme? Now is the time to state the theme. The Seven Deadly Sins and the Seven Splendid Virtues are great themes, and just about simple enough. Theme is both simple, and necessary. If the plot is the engine pulling the train, theme is the track that the plot runs on. You can't get theme going too soon. You can also be fairly bald in stating your theme.

4. The plot starts. Life continues; it's been going on for a while in all your characters, and will presumably continue (except for the ones who die in the course of your book) for some time afterward. But plot, that great literary convention, starts now. Imagine a firedoor in a theatre. Your main character steps through that firedoor, the wind blows it closed behind him. Now he has to do new and different things. Status quo is no longer available.

<blockquote>
A word on "plot" right now. Plot is merely a set of consequentially related events. Of which the word "consequential" is the important one. "The king died, then the queen died" is not a plot. "The king died, then the queen died of a broken heart" is a plot.
</blockquote>

5. The setup. We're in the early chapters now, and we're giving the readers the preliminary sets of tools and information. The setup may be quite long ... Moby-Dick is around 400 pages of setup, followed by 50 pages of action.

6. Tell your readers what to expect. Readers hate surprises. Bring in the detective, tell the readers that he will solve the crime. Whatever. Just make sure it's clear what's going to happen by the end of the book, and have this out there by the middle of the book at the latest.

7. Now comes the action, the running of your plot. In most books this is the longest, most complicated part of the story.

8. The climax. This is what you've been aiming for; it rewards the readers for staying with you the whole time. You can get quite complex here, with multiple can-you-top-this? climaxes, reverses, twists, and anything that your devious little heart can devise.

9. The bowknot. Tie off all the loose ends. This is the very last chapter, it tells the readers "the story's over, folks!" so they won't turn the last page and wonder why there's no printing on it. This is brief.

That should give you the overall shape of your book, seen from a distance. I see them as actual physical shapes and spaces. How you see them may differ, but the whole of it will be there... though you may not know all the details until the second or third drafts.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 01:35 AM

James D. Macdonald
From "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim"
Absolute Write Water Cooler
Novel Writing forum

Now ... on using filecards.

Take a stack of filecards. Number them (I use upper left-hand corner) 1, 2, 3, ... and so on. These are chapters. They're major divisions. They're scenes. They're whatever you want them to be. You may have only two at first, 1 and 2, the opening scene and the climatic scene, only a sentence on each. It's okay, doesn't matter.

You can ignore dialog at this point. You can ignore setting. Now, between these cards, put other cards, numbered 1.1, 1.2, ... 3.1, 3.2, 3.3 ... 57.1... 62.19. You put intervening scenes on these. Things that must happen after one event but before another.

Between 3.2 and 3.3, if you think of something that has to go there, put 3.2.1, 3.2.2 ... and so on. To any level you want.

You are answering questions here: What happens next, and what does the reader need to know so he won't be confused?

Never tell the reader anything before he cares!

Too much outlining will take the fun out of the writing. After you're happy with the overall shape of your plot, that you've got the characters entering, doing things, and leaving, now's the time to type up a strong outline.

A strong outline will be dozens (if not scores) of pages long, and will resemble you telling a friend about a book that you read. You'll include the major scenes, and sparkling bits of description, you'll start to fill in dialog.

From this, write your novel.

After the writing of the novel, comes the revision. This is the smoothing, the sanding, the staining, the waxing, and the polishing of this thing you've sculpted.

Here you do the Agricultural Work. If you have something in your climax, you need to make sure it was properly planted in the beginning. If you have something in the begining that didn't sprout by the end, you need to root it out.

If, at any point you become stuck on what to do next, remember this motto: "Listen! I'm going to tell you something cool!"

I believe I've heard the bit about "And now, I'm going to tell you something really cool" attributed to Steven Brust, who attributed it to Gene Wolfe.

That's Brust I'm quoting.

(I have a little Emma Frost the White Queen action figure on my desk, with a little comic balloon above her head that says "Write your book... NOW!")

More on "interest level" later. I may be using a personal shorthand here -- "interest" and "attention" are different things. I'll expand on this.

Also, I don't have a Grand Theory of Everything worked out. My writing this series of posts is helping me clarify how I think about these things.

Interest takes many forms.

Tension. Plot development. Conversation. Logic problems.

People's minds wander. You have to substitute in various forms of interest to keep that interest growing.

Recall that this series of posts is on writing, not on analysing or criticizing someone else's book.

Yes, the critics will try to figure out your theme. They may be right, they may be wrong. However, you, the author, will be right whenever you state what the theme of your book is because you are the author. When you are revising, you will know what to strengthen, what to cut, and what to leave alone based on how relevant it is to the theme.

Take, for example, our own book (I can speak authoratively on this, being the author) The Price of the Stars (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0812517040).

The theme, stated explicitly in the <a href="http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/POTSEXPT.HTM" target="_new">prologue</a>, is "Family Matters," or "Blood is thicker than water," with a strong undercurrent of "Planned Revenge."

(If I were writing the book today, I'd have folded the Prologue into Chapter One, since I've learned that many (most?) readers skip prologues.)

A term y'all may not know is quadrigia. That's a four-horse chariot, with the horses all side by side. If any of the horses is stronger, or faster, or slower, than the others, the chariot won't run straight. It takes a skillful charioteer to drive one.

"Quadrigia" was also a medieval term for a theory of sermon construction. The four horses of this quadrigia were the literal, allegorical, moral and spiritual (or mystical) senses. The sermon had to function on all four of those levels, simultaneously, and equally. If any one were faster, slower, stronger, or weaker, the sermon would run off-course.

I'm a believer in hidden structures. You can do worse than to have your novel function on those four levels, simultaneously. Remember, to stand out from the slush, your novel has to have more, and be better, than 98% of the other manuscripts that are piled on the editor's desk. Adding levels of meaning, layers of discourse, a structure, will make your novel stand out.

Writing is a skill. It is an art. Some people can do it unconsiously, but I can't. I'm the calculating, analytical kind of author. So far it's stood me in good stead.

(The book we're quoting from here was continuosly in print for a decade.)

Here's the first page:

<blockquote>
[i]

On the naming of names, and finding my own meaning.

Nothing happens by accident in a book. The author chooses each word, each image.

Let me explain what the words mean in the brief excerpt above:

First, night. This is the dark night of the soul, the time when the powers of evil are exaulted.

Now... Waycross. On the allegorical level, this book is a refutation of the Manichean heresy. Yes, this is a Christian book. Wanna make something out of it? The name is all the clue you need: Waycross is the Way of the Cross. That's my spiritual level.

Innish-Kyl is taken from an Irish song, the Inniskillen Dragoons:

A handsome young maiden of fame and renown,
A gentleman's daughter of Monihan town,
As she rode by the barracks, this beautiful maid,
She stood in her coach to see dragoons on parade.

<Blockquote>
Fare thee well, Inniskillen, fare thee well for a while
All thy bright borders of Erin's green isle
When the wars they are over we'll return in full bloom
And you'll all welcome home the Inniskillen Dragoons.
</blockquote>

Do I expect the readers to know this? Of course not. It's sufficient that I know it. It'll be a structure for me. (We'll return to this location "when the wars are over," and the main character is a "maiden of fame and renown.")

Beka is Rebecca, a Biblical character. Rosselin is Rosslyn Chapel. Metadi is a contraction of Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin.

These provide meaning for me. If there is meaning for the author, the reader will know that meaning exists.

Claw Hard means to struggle.

Cashel and Raffa sound like cash and raffish, temptation and frivolity that have been left behind.

Thus I define my book, and so start in. The rest of the scene is from the standard furniture of science fiction, subgenre space opera.

"i see your main distinction ... plausibility ... but isn't it just that, if one is willing to suspend disbelief for a second, that makes Drac such a great book?"

Not plausibility, but realism. All fiction needs to be plausible, lest the read say "Oh, come on!" and throw the book against the wall. (That's another reason why you can't use real life straight in fiction. Real life doesn't have to make sense ... fiction does.)

"hey, what's your opinion on character profiles? once again, i can't write without them. what info do you put in yours? and do you use one for minor characters as well as major ones?"

Age, description, eye color, and any details that I learn about the character in the course of writing the book.

Yes, I do them for minor characters as well. This is because the minor character doesn't know he's minor. To the minor character, the story is about him, and he's the good guy.

(Y'all know what a hero is, right? It's someone who's made the "hero's journey." That is, someone who has gone to the realm of the dead and returned. See Odysseus for example. While the term has expanded to mean protagonist, consider making it literally true that your hero has gone on that journey. (You can do this in symbolic terms.) This will resonate with your readers who are, after all, the products of thousands of years of western culture, whether they know it or not.)

When I was in high school, there were times when we had to do essays and we had to turn in an outline. I'd always write the essay first, then the outline.

This can work, too, for your full-length fiction, as a tool for finding plot-arcs that don't go anywhere, loose ends, not-fully-justified actions, and other plot-related bobbles.

"every time I go for the novel, which is what I've always wanted most, I get stuck after a few pages."

I give you permission to write scenes out of order. Later on, you can move 'em around with your wordprocessor. (In the old days, authors would literally cut-and-paste whole chunks of prose. It got messy.)

I also give you permission to write badly. So long as your fingers are moving on the keys, you can write utter tripe. It's okay. You're going to revise it anyway, right?

What I don't give you permission to do is not write. When the Muse comes to your house, she expects to find you sitting in your chair in front of your typewriter. If you aren't there, she'll just go on to the next author on her list, rather than go looking for you.

Make time, every day, and during that time be at your keyboard. There is no substitute for the BIC (Butt In Chair) method.

I work with the current version in hardcopy, and the hardcopy version is the official one.

My wordprocessor allows me to sort files by date, so I know which is the most recent one I've fooled with.

<hr>

Another note on fonts -- for reading copies, sometimes I'll print out the novel in some font and size that I'm not used to -- Times New Roman double column justified singlespace, for example, to get a look at the text with a fresh eye.

Are prologues death to an unpublished writer? No. Bad writing is death to an unpublished writer.

You merely have to remember that many of your readers are going to skip the prologue and go straight to chapter one.

If your prologue, or prelude, is vital to the story, call it Chapter One, and have Chapter Two start fifty years later.

Regardless of your decision, the first page of your prologue, prelude, or first chapter has to reward the reader enough to lead him/her to turn the page with rising interest. Even if they're just following along out of idle curiosity, at least they're following.

<HR>

A note on editors. Editors are not the enemy. What they are is readers' advocates. Think of them as a class of super-readers. Evading the editors is tantamount to evading your readers; a foolish course to take.

The great mass of readers out there in bookstores and libraries are relying on editors to do two things: a) guarantee that someone other than the author's mom liked the book, and b) the book was fully formed and polished before it arrived on the shelves.

Just as no one reader will like every kind of book, editors are not a monolithic block. You have to find the fit between your work and the right editor. This can be frustrating; the frustration level can come down a bit by choosing your markets carefully. (I've seen astounding things in the slush heaps at major publishers, things that made you wonder, "Hmmm.... is this guy going through Writers' Market alphabetically and it was just our turn?" because he should know that a house that publishes adult novels isn't going to be looking for a children's spelling book.) Send your stories to places likely to buy them! (Yes, it does pay you to read books that come out from a publisher you're considering.)

(Another note: a cover letter won't sell your novel, but it can certainly sink your novel. A cover letter that contains the words, "I think you'll find my book far better than the kind of trash you usually print" isn't going to make you any friends.)

(A personal note here: When I read slush, I take the cover letter and put it on the bottom of the stack of paper, unread. I don't want to go in prejudiced in any way. If I'm still reading at the point where I hit the cover letter, then I read it, and pass the story up the line.)

(Later, I'll give you an example of A Perfect Cover Letter.)

<hr>

Take home lesson: Editors are readers. They are your audience. Anything I say about readers, you can substitute the word "editor." Anything I say about editors, you can substitute the word "reader."

If the characters involved in the prologue aren't dealt with until far later in the series, maybe this is the first chapter from a different book. Try this: Drop the prologue, and see if any of your beta readers say "Hmmm... seems like there's something missing."

On the series: write each book as if it were the only book you'll ever write, as if the others don't exist and never will. Sure, they can all be part of a bigger universe, but give each book a beginning, a middle, and an end that's all its own, and is fully satisfying.

These are things I've learned by experience, by getting it wrong and learning better.

I have the early part of the tiger book in very rough draft. It has some literary and perhaps commercial merit. I need an honest beta-reader.

No, qatz, at this point you don't need a beta reader. At this point you need a finished draft.

Don't wear out your beta readers. They are gold. Give them the best, most polished version you can.

I mentioned, briefly, using a flowchart. I didn't go into it in great detail, but I think it might be a direction you might explore. Here's an <a href="http://www.cpuinc.net/~rcjhicks/" target="_new">example</a> of a flowchart on a written source. See also <a href="http://www.technologyevaluation.com/request/main_edge.asp" target="_new">http://www.technologyevaluation.com/request/main_edge.asp</a> for a freebie.

I promised you The Perfect Cover Letter:

<blockquote>
Salvatore Luchese
Cell Block B
2nd Tier, #34
Ft. Leavenworth Federal Prison
Ft. Leavenworth, KS 66027

(913) 123-4567

Dear [NAMEOFEDITORSPELLEDRIGHT],

Enclosed please find the first three chapters and an outline for my 120,000 word mystery novel, Mafia Wedding.

My previous works include "Pushing Up Daisys" (Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, June 2001, nominated for an Edgar, 2002), and "Sleeps with the Fishes," (Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, September, 2002, reprinted in Year's Best Mystery Stories, 2002, Graham, ed., March 2003).

I am currently serving seven-to-ten for racketeering in Ft. Leavenworth Federal Prison.

This is a disposable manuscript.

Sincerely,

Salvatore "Sally the Writer" Luchese

encl: SASE
</blockquote>

<hR>

Notes:

First NAME OF EDITOR SPELLED RIGHT. (If you can't do this, perhaps you need a new hobby.)

Second: Very briefly: length, genre, and title.

Third: Any pertinent credits. Only the most recent and most prestigious. A good sale ten years ago means that you haven't sold anything since. A bunch of 1/4 cent-a-word recently means that you aren't selling. Don't even bother mentioning self-published or e-publications unless you sold enough on your own to hit the Times Bestseller List. If all you have is one or two lower-tier mags, and they're recent, then you might list them. If you've got eight or ten lower-tier mags and they stretch back over three or four years ... better to leave the impression that you're unpublished rather than brand the Scarlet L of Loser on your forehead.

Fourth: Any special qualifications you may have for writing this book.

Fifth: Any other notes (disposable manuscript).

Your name.

INCLUDE AN SASE.

The primary purpose of a cover letter is to give the editor something with your name, address, and phone number on it that will fit in a file cabinet. The secondary purpose is to give the editor somewhere to put her coffee cup without putting a brown ring on your manuscript.

Be brief, be professional, and SPELL THE EDITOR'S NAME RIGHT.

Make sure all the major plot threads you have in this book get tied up in this book (or at least come to a satisfying stopping point).

Other than that, if there's too much plot in your book your editor will tell you.

Too much plot and too many neat things happening are not a problem.

"I have a question. How much is too much?"

It's too much when you've allowed the outline to suck up the joy of writing the novel.

It's too much when you substitute writing the outline for writing the novel.

Outlining does not count against your two hours a day. You must do two hours of writing in addition to any time you spend outlining.

For the query letter (I'm talking about fiction here -- non-fiction is a whole nother area) substitute the words "May I send you" for "Enclosed please find."

If you have no prior publishing credits just omit the paragraph beginning "My previous published works include...." Silence is golden.

Remember that the work stands on its own. The reader in the bookstore won't see your brilliant letter. All that counts is the book.

Do not obsess over cover letters.

Hey, qatz -- best of the season to you, too.

Writing is a performing art. We're part of the entertainment industry. As such -- the audience doesn't give us an "A" for effort. They're out there ready to throw rotten tomatoes, no matter if our heart is in the right place.

This is a demanding art; it's difficult. I won't fib to you. If writing were easy, everyone would be doing it.

<HR>

Now, y'all know that as artists we're parasites, right? If there weren't a real world where would we be? We live in the real world without contributing to it. And what we do, when times are hard, folks can do without better than they can do without food and fuel.

Now, about parasitism: y'all know what a "parasite" is, right? It's a Greek word, meaning "beside the food." Originally parasites were poets who would crash rich guys' parties, and eat all they could, and provide entertainment with their poetry and songs and witty conversation. Until they were thrown out.

So now we all know where we stand in the Great World, right?

<hr>
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, to all.

Another thought on parasitism in art: We feed off reality. Without reality there could be no art. Therefore it behooves us to be experts on reality.

Until we've become masters of this world we won't be able to make worlds of our own.

More on Realism later.

I have ripped out anything that could remotely resemble the run of the mill stock fantasy world.

I recommend you pick up a copy of The Tough Guide to Fantasyland (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0886778328/) by Dianne Wynne Jones. Travel any distance, pay any price, to get a copy. It's got all the cliches, arranged in alphabetical order. It's also hilarious, especially if you've read entirely too many fantasy novels.

Some day when I make my living writing, I will definitely consider working within guidelines that incorporate some of your rules Jim.

Many years ago, when I was first becoming a professional writer, I had a day job. And people would say to me (word was out that I was writing), "I've always wanted to write a book, but I never had the time." And I'd think "You son of a . I set my alarm clock two hours early to make time to write."

For your plot problems: Put interesting people in interesting places, and things will happen. That's the Positional Chess theory of writing. You may not be the sort of writer for whom an outline is useful/necessary. The first goal is to get words on paper. The second goal is to revise the heck out of 'em.

Your readers have six senses. So should your characters!

"I'm not so sure when I do violence how credible it is ..."

First: become a keen observer of the world.

Second: Ask yourself if the violence advances the plot, reveals character, or supports theme. If it does none of those things then it doesn't belong in your book. If it does any of those things, the barest sketch will allow your readers to fill in the parts that they find necessary for their own reading experience, drawn from their own needs and memories.

You are providing folks with a blueprint for a story that they are building for themselves.

Today I found myself reading a bit of slush. Here's some advice I want to pass along:

* Spelling counts.
* Agreement of number is important.
* Keep the tense consistent.
* You're allowed to have more than one sentence per paragraph. In fact, you're encouraged to do so.
* Dialog is one of your basic tools. Learn how to use quote marks.
* Don't make your readers guess about the antecedents of your pronouns.
* You've heard of Point of View? Pick one. Then use it.
* Not all nouns need adjectives; not all verbs need adverbs.
* Assigning emotions to inanimate objects is called the Pathetic Fallacy. First, because it's a fallacy. Second, because it's pathetic.

* SHOW, DON'T TELL!

"Does anyone really submit stories like those?"

As I keep telling people, "If you can write two consecutive pages of grammatical English with all the words spelled right, you're already in the top ten percent of the slush pile."

Short answer: Yes, they do.

Even shorter answer: Arrrrgh!

Notice: Publishing isn't a lottery. Yes, major publishers get thousands of manuscripts. The way they select their manuscripts for publication isn't by going into the Slush Room and pulling out three at random then sending the rest back. This is a game of skill, not a game of luck. If you send in a good (or at least competent) manuscript, odds are good that you'll get published. If you send in bad manuscripts, you won't get published no matter how many times you submit.

Now ... if in addition to having the bare bones mechanics of English prose down pat you can tell a story ... you're in the top two percent of the slush heap where the sales come from.

Trust me on this: I promise you that publishers do not have rejection slips that say "Sorry! Too well-written and original for us!" no matter how many times you hear unpublished writers say that their manuscripts were rejected for having exactly those two qualities.

The mass of unpublishable slush is:

a) Badly written,
b) Trite,
or
c) Badly written and trite.

<HR>

Addendum: For Shawn. Sure, use the list. If even one writer Takes the F'ing Hint it'll be worth it.

Next bizarre bit of writing advice:

Memorize this speech. Be able to recite it any time, anywhere, no matter what you're doing. (There will be a quiz.) Practice frequently, and aloud.

I promise you that your writing will improve if you have this bit by heart:

<blockquote>
<hr>

For God's sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of kings;
How some have been deposed; some slain in war,
Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed;
Some poison'd by their wives: some sleeping kill'd;
All murder'd: for within the hollow crown
That rounds the mortal temples of a king
Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits,
Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp,
Allowing him a breath, a little scene,
To monarchize, be fear'd and kill with looks,
Infusing him with self and vain conceit,
As if this flesh which walls about our life,
Were brass impregnable, and humour'd thus
Comes at the last and with a little pin
Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king!
Cover your heads and mock not flesh and blood
With solemn reverence: throw away respect,
Tradition, form and ceremonious duty,
For you have but mistook me all this while:
I live with bread like you, feel want,
Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus,
How can you say to me, I am a king?

<HR>
</Blockquote>

That's from Richard II, Act 3, scene ii, by William Shakespeare

" For what it's worth, I've never found "advance planning" necessary for scenes that include sex or violence."

Fascinating!

How do you decide where they'll go in your story, and what they'll accomplish in your plot?

"But if I lose my spark and interest, so does the writing."

Oh, absolutely. The readers can always tell when the writer is bored, too.

I never said (or at least, I hope I didn't) that this is the only way to write. All I can promise is that those who are following along will learn how I write, which may or may not be useful to them.

I have lots of little idiosyncracies; for example, I dislike the word cluster "and then." "And" means two events happened at the same time, "then" means they happened sequentially. "And then" means ... what? I'll change that group to "and" or "then."

As those who've been reading along know, I'm a very heavy outliner. My outlines are perhaps 3/4 the length of the finished novel. (They're very rough, they tell rather than show, they sketch out people, places, and dialog, they have things like "An exciting battle scene goes here" or "Time to tie up the Second Girlfriend Plot-thread" -- they're darn-near unreadable by anyone but me and my coauthor.) Bits of business are only suggested, and frequently change many times before the first draft. But that's just me.

Every writer has his or her own way of writing, and the more honestly and accurately he or she presents it the weirder it sounds.

Then is an adverb. In "Joe walked to the door, then turned," then modifies turned.

"She typed 'Chapter One,' then stared out the window," is perfectly grammatical; then modifies stared.

"She brushed her teeth, later took a shower," is ungrammatical since it leaves out the word "she." "She brushed her teeth, later she took a shower," while hardly graceful, is grammatically correct.

Right. Better would be "She brushed her teeth; later she took a shower."

A comma splice is infinitely preferable to "and then."

Not to be unpleasant about it, Reph, but you're wrong.

If I draw a single line through the word "and" every time I see "and then," the sentences work better. Every time.

Unless the actions are happening simultaneously -- then I draw the line through "then." That too improves the sentence.

The word cluster "and then" is meaningless. It's an oxymoron. There's no excuse for using it.

Yes, you'll find "and then" in some of our published works. These were added by copyeditors who were, universally, wrong.

"...of a particular friend when Jim made his dictum about the Pathetic Fallacy... "

If you'd read the piece of slush I'd read just before I typed that, you'd have said the same thing.

In your friend's case, assigning emotions to inanimate objects is part of her character and upbringing. Further, it's happening in dialog, not in narration.

You'll notice that I'm not saying that outlines are everything, Note On. I've also mentioned how a book is like a chess game. Later on I'm going to tell folks how a short story is like a lime pie. And how a novel is like a house. How it's like the bottom of a stream. How it's like a box. How it's like a vase.

Don't get hung up on outlines. I use 'em, sometimes, for the things that outlines are good for. Other times I use positional play. When I think about a novel in progress, I see it as a shape, with volume, angles, corners and edges.

I also have a hole open up in the screen, with pictures behind it that I describe. I guess I'm in an alpha state then.

Sometimes I turn off the monitor and type, because the shapes of the words are a distraction from the writing.

All I can do to teach how to write is use analogies. Writing is the thing itself. That's why I've been stressing the BIC method.

As writers we are are defined by the act of writing. Thinking about writing, planning to write, researching, outlining, revising ... those things are not writing. Only writing is writing.

I recognize that "and then" may be an idiomatic expression, and thus acceptable in dialog.

(Unlike "over and out" in radio comms, which is never acceptable anywhere.)

Reph, early on, back at the beginning of this thread, I quoted McIntyre's Law: "Under the right circumstances, anything I tell you may be wrong." I also said that my mutant talent was making my opinions sound like facts.

If your writer's ear tells you to use "and then," you're perfectly free to do so.

Yeah, BIC is Butt In Chair.

It is not oxymoronic; it is redundant, at least as normally used.

qatz, I'm sorry, but I cannot bring myself to agree.

That particular word group is oxymoronic because it says that two events happened simultaneously, and that they happened in sequence.

This is trivial. I don't want to get sidetracked on it. I offered it as an example of one of my idiosyncracies, and you know what? It is one of my idiosyncracies. Call it religious on my part, if you like, to get an idea of how I feel on this question.

Another of my idiosyncracies is that I believe that grey and gray are two different colors, and that the words are pronounced differently. I once used the sentence "The clouds went from gray to grey as the sun rose behind them," and knew exactly what I meant.

I hope this doesn't get us into a huge debate about spelling and whatnot.

For another example of my mountain-sized ego: I've been known to write corrections into dictionaries.

As to grammar: Correct grammar is what native speakers of a language agree is correct grammar.

Further on grammar: A writer can indicate a great deal about a character by using particular grammatical habits in that character's dialog.

Further on that dialog: This requires that we be observant of the world around us, of the people in it, and the ways in which they talk.

Further further on dialog: Book dialog is to the spoken dialog of humans in their natural habitat as a stage whisper is to an actual whisper. Dialog as it is written in a novel is a literary convention.

Experiment: Tape-record an actual conversation. Transcribe it. Notice how much hesitation there is, how many sentence fragments you find, how wasteful and redundant (or elided and obscure) it is, and what infelicitious phrasing the natural stuff has. As novelists, our job is to write book-dialog that gives the impression of natural dialog.

[END YEAR ONE]

[b]01Jan04--Here's to a happy, healthy, and productive new year.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 01:38 AM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim
January 2004 posts

"And?" is correct. "And then?" isn't.

Here's the recipe for the best lime pie in the world:

Pie Shell:

Whites of 3 large fresh eggs, at room temperature
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/8 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup sugar

Heat oven to 300 F. Lightly grease a 9" pie plate.

Beat egg whites in a medium bowl on medium speed until frothy.

Add cream of tartar and salt and beat on high speed until soft peaks form when beaters are lifted.

Beat in 1/4 cup of the sugar, 1 tablespoon at a time, until blended.

With mixer on low speed, sprinkle on remaining sugar and beat until blended.

Spread meringue over bottom and sides of prepared dish.

Bake until lightly browned, about 45 minutes.

Cool in dish on wire rack.

Pie filling:

6 egg yolks, slightly beaten
1/3 cup lime juice
2 and 1/2 Tablespoons grated lime rind
1 cup granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 Tablespoons cold water
6 egg whites
1/8 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 cup granulated sugar

Beat egg yolks until thick and lemon-colored.

Add lime juice, rind, sugar, and salt, then beat mixture until throughly blended.

Cook this mixture in a double-boiler until very thick, stirring constantly.

Now add the cold water to the egg whites and beat until stiff but not dry.

Combine baking powder and remaining 1/4 cup sugar and add to beaten egg white mixture. Beat until stiff.

Fold hot lime mixture into half the egg white meringue; fill pre-baked pieshell.

Cover with remaining meringue.

Sprinkle lightly with sugar and bake 15 minutes in a moderately slow oven (325 F) or until meringue is delicately brown.

Serve cold.

<hr>

This, O dearly beloved, is a short story.

<hr>

You craft it as carefully as you can, using all your experience and skill. You use the finest ingredients, all in just proportion. At the end it looks perfect to your eye. You cool it for a day; you bring it forth to serve to your guests. But you don't know, not until you take the first slice, whether the inside jelled or if you have some runny lime-flavored egg soup.

At that point you can't go back and remake the pie. Either it works or it doesn't.

Your guests may exclaim over how good it tastes, but they won't look forward to pie next time they come to your house.

True, you can guarantee your results a bit by using potato starch or gelatin. Neither of those produces the texture and mouth-feel that you want. Practice will help, as you learn by experience what thick, very thick, soft peaks, and "but not dry" mean. Yet you'll never be sure, until you take that first slice in front of your guests, that it really worked.

In the same way, a short story either works or it doesn't. Once prepared, using all your skill, you can't go back and revise it into something that isn't lime-flavored runny glop.

Nothing at all will help if your guests don't like lime pie to start with. Some may even be allergic to eggs, or have ethical or moral issues with egg use.

<hr>

A novel is different. A novel is a wooden crate. If the crate doesn't work, you can take the boards, rearrange them, and try again. You can fill the old nail holes with Plastic Wood. You can go get more wood at the lumber yard to replace a board that isn't working out, or to fill an opening that you didn't intend. Once it's all banged into shape, then you can sand it, stain it, varnish it, put on brass handles and corners, and hang a pretty padlock from the hasp.

People who take your crate can put any number of things into it, and if some of them don't use the crate for storage, they might use it as a coffee table or a place to put a nice lamp.

Novels you can revise. First make the shape, then smooth and refine, then show to your friends.

More on this anon.

All that you can do with a failed short story is write a new short story. The new story will be a completely new one, for all that it may resemble the other (both are made of limes and eggs and sugar).

With a failed crate, you can still take it apart and reassemble it into a new crate, and most of the lumber will be the same physical lumber (though the new crate may not resemble the old crate at all, except in its crateness).

----------

If Our Lord Himself couldn't explain the Kingdom of Heaven except by parables, how am I, a mere man, to explain writing?

(Matthew 13 xxiv-xxxiii, if you're interested.)

A short story is a single joke. A novel is a comedy routine.

There was a lumber camp far up in the hills in Vermont. All winter long the lumberjacks would cut trees, then in the spring drive them down the rivers to the sawmills in the towns below the notches.

One day a stranger came to one particular camp, and was invited in to share the men's evening meal. The air was warm inside, filled with the smells of delicious food and strong coffee. And as the evening progressed, one of the men shouted out "Fifty-seven!" and everyone laughed.

Then another man shouted out, "Twenty-two!" to great laughter and applause, another shouted "One hundred sixty-eight!" and everyone laughed even harder.

The stranger turned to the man seated beside him and asked, "What's going on? Why are the men laughing at those numbers?"

"We've all been up here so long," replied the lumberjack, "that we've all heard each others' jokes. So to save time, we gave them all numbers. Instead of telling the joke, we just say the number."

At that moment, someone shouted out "Two hundred eighty-nine!" and everyone laughed harder than ever. Men were slapping their thighs; tears were streaming down their faces.

"What happened?" asked the stranger.

"Oh," said the lumberjack, "That was a new one."

"Gee," said the stranger, "Can I try?"

"Sure."

The stranger stood up and shouted "Ninety-one!"

Silence. Everyone just looked at him.

The stranger's face turned red, he sat back down, and turned to his companion. "What happened?" he asked. "Why didn't anyone laugh?"

"It's okay," said the lumberjack. "Some people just can't tell jokes."

Any analogy can be pressed too far.

Part of learning how to make this pie is learning what "until very thick" means. If it happens you get it wrong, you try again. The pie you have then isn't the same as the one that didn't work ... because this time you stirred until very thick.

A short story is all of one piece.

A novel is many pieces.

Gracious. Of course <a href="http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/stories.htm" target="_new">my opinion is my opinion</a>. What else could it be?

No one said to rewrite after an editor rejects a story. The only time you rewrite after you've decided that it's finished and it's time to start sending it around is when an editor opens his checkbook and says "I'll buy this if you make the following changes..." Otherwise once a story's done, it's done.

A story that only needed to have 500-600 words removed from its beginning (and that's closer to two or three pages than one) is one that worked pretty well. Starting a story too early is a common fault. One that lacks a conclusion, that's tougher to fix. Finding the proper conclusion is part of the art here; a perfect conclusion is one that is at once surprising and inevitable. (See notes above on what a "surprise" is.)

Yes, stories that don't work are catastrophes. Either the entire thing works or it doesn't.

"...be ready to cut or change anything, but don't throw out a single word carelessly, and only revise what feels wrong to you," is basically sound advice. Once you've done that ... if the story doesn't work put it in your desk drawer and write a different story.

(Here's some practical advice for the Stir Until Thickened part of the process: Don't use the cut-and-paste function of your wordprocessor at all. Retype the entire thing from hardcopy, making changes as you go. You'll find yourself dropping paragraphs that aren't worth the trouble of retyping, and you'll find yourself adding dialog and description that was missing. Better, smoother ways of phrasing things will occur to you.)

"Is that a genuine recipe? Have you made it yourself?"

Yes, it's a genuine recipe. An old family recipe, in fact. (And I have friends who Really Love it.)

I also feel, making that pie, the way I feel when writing a short story. Whether this means I'm nuts in the head I leave to others.

Perhaps it is a koan.

"Writing a short story is like making a lime pie," the Master said.

The Disciple asked, "How is making a lime pie like writing a short story? It makes no sense!"

"You are quite right," the Master replied. "It makes no sense."

Is there a FAQ or a set of guidelines somewhere?

Yes, real early on: Anything you say must be true, and anything you say must be helpful.

Another quick one: is there any problem with using "now" to refer to a past-tense action? "I now sat at the table", for instance? I've been avoiding this one on the assumption that it was an oxymoron, but substituting "then" doesn't always sound as good.

How does ""I now sat at the table" differ from "I sat at the table"?

If' you're using that as dialog, and trying to differentiate how your different characters speak, perhaps show something about their social class, level of education, or native region, I don't see anything wrong with either phrasing.

Perhaps if we could see that sentence used in a paragraph?

Words are given meaning by the words around them.

"'What a day!' I thought. I was right. It had been quite a day. It all started with the Grand Wizard of Schnorkle...

...and there were a great many things I had done that day, yadda yadda shish bam boom.

NOW I sat at the table. A fly was on the wall. It made me hungry."

Two thoughts came instantly to my mind: Did the readers really need the recap; and was it the fly, the wall, or table that made the narrator hungry?

Try this: Read the passage aloud without "now," then with it. Which sounds better to you?

Within that passage we have (a) an "and then", (b) a "superfluous" now (or is it? What do you think, Jim?), and (c) a shift from the future to the present tense with no warning or explanation.

I think this is thought, or interior dialog. Much is allowed in dialog. Is the narrator revealing character? I suspect he may be.

What's with the leading periods?

I also ask, how fast is the plot moving at this point? Plain, or even clumsy writing will be overlooked if the story is strong and the plot is moving.

(I blush to admit that I haven't read this particular book.)

General principle: You can do anything, anything at all, in dialog.

I quit my day job around fifteen years ago.

Here's what I wish someone had told me before I did so:

First, make sure you have a year's supply of writing contracts to work on.

Second, make sure you have a year's supply of money to live on.

Third, pay down all your credit cards to zero then cancel them.

Fourth, be prepared to white-knuckle your way through life.

Yes, I think I would have listened. Quitting your day job isn't some wild, crazy thing to do on a whim, and it isn't something so compelling that you can't do otherwise. It's a decision to make, with full facts available, and with all sorts of opinions from people who've been down the road ahead of you to look at and evaluate for your own situation.

... if the narrator is *also* a character, a lot of the narration can also be "dialogue."

That's your basic First Person POV. [note--code error on this page to fix later 04jan04 10:34am]

... is called an ellipsis. (If you have more than one, they're ellipses.)

An ellipsis means that one or more words has been left out. You see those a lot in blurb quotes from reviews.

You can use an ellipsis to show a pause in dialog.

"What you must understand," George began," is that Frieda ... has not always been truthful."

(What I'm trying to show there is George pausing to think of how best to say that Frieda lies like a rug.)

You can use them at the end of a sentence to show the words trailing off (in that case you have four dots in a row, one of them being the period).

"The old farm," Joe said. "That would mean Bill and Freida...."

(Joe's voice trails off, as the horrid realization blooms in his mind.)

As long as you're consistent, use of ellipses is part of your style. Do try to keep the stage directions to a minimum, though.

Lots of your fonts have ellipsis characters […]. Don't use 'em in your manuscript. Use three periods in a row to represent ellipses.

What's with the pulsing "EZ" graphic that suddenly showed up on some (but not all) topics on the board?

It indicates a 'hot topic'.

Oh, okay. Never noticed before. What are the criteria, I wonder?

==========

ObOnTopic: I always spell out "okay" rather than use the letters "OK."

Are you allowed in the "learn writing without uncle Jim" thread?

I suppose technically I am, but I doubt it would be polite for me to post there.

Are you really an uncle?

Yes, and so is my brother.

What was impolite was to say "Reph, you're wrong."

I've gone back to edit that to read "Reph, I am unable to bring myself to agree."

It's been the holidays (kids home from school) and a serious deadline (19 January).

I'll continue with Things About Writing pretty soon.

I need to go back through the back posts to see what things I've promised that I haven't talked about.

Hi, Evan --

I'll be away from on-line for two or three days.

Go ahead, post anything you like. But...

Please include a link to this discussion, and to our homepage.

If the guidelines don't specify what the editor or agent wants, write a letter (self-addressed stamped envelope included) asking if they'd like to see a synopsis, three-and-an-outline, or full text of your 100,000 word mystery/adventure story.

The most important thing is that you spell the editor's name right. The next most important thing is that you include that SASE.

If nothing is specified, I would go with a one-sentence length-and-genre description of the book.

That's a good question, sugarmuffin, and one that doesn't have a simple answer.

But that's not going to stop me from trying to give you a simple answer anyway.

At first, the protagonist only needs enough of a goal to get the reader to follow along. This can be a small goal, easily accomplished. It can, for example, be our hero's attempt to get a ham sandwich.

Later on, the larger goals will appear. The character may not know what they are for dozens or hundreds of pages. Some of the goals may not be apparent until the reader has finished the book and is sitting there thinking about it. Some goals along the way may be false goals.

Nevertheless, the character needs to be doing something other than wandering aimlessly at the beginning, lest the readrer only follow along out of idle curiosity.

This isn't to say that you aren't going to be foreshadowing that big, main goal in that first chapter. Foreshadowing is part of what makes the ending you select seem so very right for your book.

The trick to foreshadowing is to put it in during the second draft, when you know how everything is going to turn out.

Thanks for the response.

The funny thing is, so far in the first couple of pages-- which I'm not sure I'll keep -- he is actually stopping at a deli to get a cheese sandwich!

I think I mentioned this in my first post, but I have been trying to do this for a long time; been to a number of writing workshops over the years in the Boston area where I live, even one in Italy. Have a writer's mind, but I realize that I really need structure. Hearing Uncle Jim say what a first chapter should include was like an aha for me, simple as it sounds. I've written lots of bits and pieces of things, have been a paid writer and written a few technical manuals, managed other folks writing technical stuff, but the novel has eluded me.

So thanks for sharing your brainstuff and experience here, Jim, it has given me some inspiration.

Lisa

And thanks too Eric. Did you really go to that colony?

Hi, AsianJournals.

The funny thing about the Grammar Wars is this:

Grammar isn't really that important.

Once you've gotten up to a workmanlike level, when you're not actively bad, it doesn't matter all that much. If you get one of those PSAT prep books or programs, and you get to the point where you are aceing the grammar section, you're good enough.

You can get farther with excellent grammar and a plot than you can with excellent grammar alone.

Story will get you through times with no style better than style will get you through times with no story.

Your publisher will hire people with excellent grammar to fix yours, provided you've written a compelling story. Your publisher hired you to provide that story.

The Infamous Lime Pie Recipe was back on page 19 of this thread. I promised "More on this anon," but never got to the "anon" part.

Here's more:

The pie tastes just the same, but it looks a lot better, if you make swirls and peaks on the top layer of meringue.

And:

Viewed objectively, all you really have is a very fancy plate of scrambled eggs.

I trust I don't need to explain those two metaphors as they relate to writing your stories?

========

Show of hands: How many have done their two hours today? How many have finished a book and want to revise it?

That flesh is heir to.

Shall we talk, briefly, about some of the horrible things that go wrong in a writer's life? Sure, why not. Many people won't talk about them, but let's be honest: this isn't an easy job.

First off, you can take this as true. It's easier to sell a first book than a third.

With a first book, anything can happen. It could take off and be a wild best seller. It could become a quiet back-list perennial. It could find its niche. It could develop a fan base. Anything.

Another plus for the first-time novelist: the editor doesn't have to offer a big advance. A couple thousand bucks, the book's his.

The book goes out. It sells some number of copies. This is great. Maybe it earns out, maybe it doesn't. That doesn't matter much; publishers can make profits even on books that don't earn out.

Then you turn in your second book. It too hits the stands. Now here's the problem. Your second book must do better than your first book. A rising career is good. A falling career ... isn't.

Lots of readers will give a new author a chance. Fewer readers will give an author a second chance. If someone read your book and didn't like it, the odds are they won't buy your next book, even if it's radically better. (You wanted reasons why you shouldn't publish a book that isn't quite ready? That's reason #1398.) Word of mouth can be negative, too.

So, if you're on a declining curve, that third book is going to be a really tough sell. Especially since, as a third-time author you should expect your advances to be rising.

At that point it'll be time to change publishers, and possibly to go to a pseudonym.

Right, you think that's grim? Try the Death Spiral.

The Death Spiral works like this: The big chains (and if you aren't in the big chains you aren't in the game) have this trick called Ordering To Net. That is, however many copies of a book Author A sold last time, that's how many copies of his next book they're going to order this time.

Say Fred Goodguy writes a novel, a mystery called Up Your Nose With A Rubber Hose. They print 10,000 copies, and he has a sell-through of 80%. (80% sell-through is pretty good.) That is, of those 10,000 copies, 8,000 sold.

Now Fred's new book comes out, Down Your Throat With A Motorboat. The chains saw that 8,000 copies sold last time, so they order 8,000 copies. Again, Fred has an 80% sell-through, and 6,400 sell. Fred's third book, In Your Eye With an Apple Pie gets 6,400 pre-orders, that's how many are printed, and sells 5,120. Now the big chains are only willing to preorder 5,120 copies of Fred's next proposed book, Up Your *** With Broken Glass, so his publisher declines to exercise their option on it, and Fred's left without a career.

What can Fred do? Go to another publisher and start all over again, under the name Joe Nicefella, with The Broken Glass Affair. Fred 's fans will be wondering why Joe isn't writing any more, while others will think that Fred is just a cheap Fred imitator. And, Fred will get a first-time author's advance at his new publisher. But, on the other hand, he'll get a first printing of 10,000, and the bookstores will preorder them, in hopes that this new author will turn out to be a best seller.

[Note: if your publisher likes you, you may get a name-change and stay where you are: and the name change doesn't have to be big, just big enough to fool the major chain stores' computers. Adding a middle initial to your name has been known to work. Or, printing on the cover By Fred Goodguy Writing as Joe Nicefella.]

These thing may not happen to you. But they can, and there are writers that they have happened to. Just be prepared.

What other bad things can happen?

Your editor bought your book because she believes in it. She's presented it to the other editors and the publisher, she's been shepherding it through production... then she gets hired by another company. What happens to your book?

It's an orphan, that's what. No one to speak for it at the publisher's. No one to boost it to the sales force. It goes to the desk of some other editor who already has a full allotment of books on his desk, and who doesn't love your book as much as the original editor did. He loves his own books better. The editing it gets is more of a lick-and-a-promise than the full deal it needs and deserves.

Bad things happen. Everything is done, but it's at the minimum level. No one, particularly not the author, is happy when the book comes out.

Other bad things? Shall we talk about basket accounting?

That's where you sign a contract for a number of books, but the royalties don't start until they all earn out. If one of them is wildly popular, but another doesn't sell for beans, the popular one doesn't start putting money in your pocket until after it's paid off the dead dog's advance too.

There's more, there's worse -- the bad copyedit. Some copyeditors think that what you really wanted was a co-author.

Then there's the way books have the shelf life of yogurt. They go out, they're on the shelves, and if the readers don't pick up on 'em right away, off the shelves they come to make way for next month's books. There's a sad thing.

The natural state of a book is Out of Print.

But I'll end this story with hope, just like Pandora's box had hope in it.

There's an easy cure to the Off The Shelves in a Month problem. You want your books on the shelves for years, and you don't have what it takes to be a bestseller? (And what that takes is both to write a good book and be lucky.)

Here's how to get your book back on the shelf: Write a second book. When it's published, your publisher will rerelease and resolicit your first book at the same time as your second book. They know that having two different books by the same author shelved side by side will make the public more willing to buy either book than they would one title alone. The bookstores know this too. They're more willing to shelve three copies each of Up Your Nose with a Rubber Hose and In Your Eye with an Apple Pie than they would be to shelve six copies of either one.

That's the secret of bookstore placement, increasing sales, and a happy career: write another book.

Since you started writing another book the minute you finished your last one, there you are.

Shall we mention bad contracts?

I think we shall.

Bad contracts aren't limited to the sleazy side of the street; you can find bad contracts and bad contract clauses right in the penthouse suites of publishing.

Two of the clauses most strewn with landmines are the option clause and the indemnity clause, but don't think because I've not mentioned them that other clauses, or even entire contracts, aren't writer-unfriendly.

Here's where having a canny agent is worth your while. I recall one place that sent out a standard contract to everyone -- with all the really horrid clauses on the last page. Savvy agents (and savvy writers) knew to just throw alway the last page and sign the next-to-last page. Newbies would find themselves ... in less happy circumstances.

Beware: The lawyer you pick out of your phonebook to look over a contract, unless he specializes in publishing, doesn't have a clue where the landmines are.

Nor will I attempt to list them here. Too many varients. Just because I don't mention something doesn't mean it isn't out there.

Shall we mention publishers who pay on acceptance, publishers who pay on publication, and publishers who pay on threat of lawsuit? (If you hang out in the bar with other writers, they'll tell you. They might not put it in writing -- sleazy publishers can be vindictive.)

Yeah, and slow payment? Advances are often divided into three parts: One on signing, one on acceptance, and one on publication. (Varients abound.)

That "on signing" payment can stretch out, so you may find that you can write a novel faster than a publisher can write a check, with the other payments ... sometime.

Here's a word of advice. Never start writing a book that you've sold on proposal until after you've signed the contract, and never turn in the manuscript until after the on-signing payment clears.

More later, perhaps on cheerier things.

Self knowledge, anyone?

Writing is a great way to get to know yourself. You've written something. You've come to The End.

Hurrah!

Now, it's time to Read What You Wrote, not what you think you wrote.

Here's something for y'all to read while I think about what direction to go with this.

<a href="http://www.sff.net/people/roger.allen/essays/mistakes.htm" target="_new">http://www.sff.net/people/roger.allen/essays/mistakes.htm</a>

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 02:51 AM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim
February 2004

When someone says something better than I can, I'm not shy about pointing others to those places.

So:

You want to know about slush?

<a href="http://scrivenerserror.blogspot.com/2004_02_01_scrivenerserror_archive.html#1075737301 99787039" target="_new">Scrivener's Error</a>

<a href="http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html#004641" target="_new">Making Light</a>

<a href="http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2002/02/25/slush/" target="_new">Confessions of a Slush Reader</a>

<a href="http://www.sfwa.org/writing/myrtle2.htm" target="_new">Myrtle the Manuscript</a>

Yeah, yeah, I know; I recommended Myrtle the Manuscript before, but that was a lot of posts ago and not everyone has been reading from day one.

Yes, you did ask about Slick Tricks for Outlining.

I'm trying to figure out if you mean an outline to write a book from, or an outline to send to a publisher.

I'm also re-reading the earlier posts in this thread to see what I've already talked about, and what I promised to talk about later.

I also have a whole 'nother tangent to go off on, about modelwork.

Dialog, yes.

Really quickly, my opinion on accents -- dialect, we call it -- is that less is more.

Once spelling out dialect was common and accepted. Take a look at Kipling's Captains Courageous (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0451523814) for example. That's also an example of how the use of dialect can fail. Kipling spoke with a strong British accent himself, and his dialect is based on his own pronunciations. If you happen to know what a Gloucester fisherman's speech sounds like you can derive Kipling's accent from his dialog. (If you try to read his dialog with an American accent, the result is totally weird.)

Nowadays use of dialect has fallen out of favor. You can get by with using a light hand -- having one character say "Sugah," for example, would probably be okay -- but try to get the feel of a dialect with word-choice and sentence rhythm. People from various parts of the country use different words for the same things: frying pan, fry pan, griddle, spider; brook, creek, stream; paper bag, paper sack. A person from one part of the South might habitually say "ink pen" rather than "pen" to mean a writing implement, since to him "pen" and "pin" have the same sound.

Here's where your reading of books being published today will pay off, and here's where having a group of beta readers who are brutally honest with their opinions is worth gold.

As with the rest of commercial writing, the master question is: Does it work? You can get away with anything if it works. Who tells you if it works? Your readers. How do they tell you? With the sound of rapidly turning pages.

Congrats, Tamara!

(Where I've been the last couple of ... days? Yesterday morning I was a guest instructor at the US Coast Guard Academy in the morning, and at two classes at UConn in the afternoon. Before that, I'd spent the weekend in Boston (fans! editors! expense-account dinners! alcohol!) doing professional things.)

Okay, brags and boasts aside....

Shall we talk briefly about the Mid-Book?

That's the dreadful, long, trudgingly weary part of the novel that comes between the opening and the climax.

You have to have this part of the book for several reasons. First, you want to have your novel be novel-length, right? The mid-book keeps the covers from getting too close together. Second, the climax of a novel is bigger and more complex (and operates on more levels) than the climax of a short story. Setting up a climax like that takes time and verbiage. The mid-book is where it happens. Third, the experience of a novel involves getting to know the characters. Your readers can't do that without spending time with those characters.

Still, the mid-book is hard to write, at least for me. The joyful exhilaration of the opening is gone. The slam-bang heady excitement of the climax is yet to come. Here in the mid-book the climax seems far away; all that the mid-book promises is a day of writing, followed by another day, then another... stretching out to the end of time. Crossing an endless plain under the hot sun could hardly be more tedious.

If you're going to give up on your novel now is the time when you'll do it. Joy has leached from the world, all is dust and ashes, the words that formerly had come running gladly to do your command now sit about sullenly pretending you aren't there.

The freedom of the opening is gone. Those choices you made in the first half-dozen chapters are now handcuffs restricting your possible courses of action. You don't see how you're ever going to get to a conclusion, let alone a satisfactory conclusion.

I've used the chessgame analogy before, and I'm going to use it again. The mid-book is the mid-game. You're setting up the checkmate, but it's still anyone's game, and a more confusing time for the player (that's you, author) would be hard to imagine.

Someone else said that a basic plot goes like this:

1) Get the hero up a tree
2) Throw rocks at him
3) Get him out of the tree.

We're at the rock-throwing stage.

Well, this is good to know. If you can't think of anything else, do something nasty to your hero.

How to get out of this quagmire for good? Remember this: A novel isn't just a short story with more words. A novel has layers and levels of meaning, and the mid-book is where they go.

Now you do the variations on your theme. You do counterpoints. You do mirror-images. If your theme is Honor, now you show Disgrace.

Who does these things? Your minor characters! Each with his own story-arc, each with his own climax, all the while you're building toward your main story's main climax.

I wish I could draw you a picture, show the interlacing arcs of story, each moving the plot forward, each developing theme, each revealing character, all coming to minor (yet ever increasing and more-rewarding) conclusions. Perhaps I'll try, later on.

It is a thing of beauty. (Or will be, after revision.)

<hr>

Uh Oh ... a Pitfall.

How many of you have programmed in BASIC? You remember the <a href="http://www.oopic.com/do.htm" target="_new">Do Loop</a>?

90 LET X=1
100 DO WHILE X<=10
110 LPRINT "STUFF HAPPENS!"
120 X=X+1
130 LOOP

Do not make the middle of your book a Literary Do Loop. That just fills pages with prose without getting anything accomplished. Recall that your goal is to write The Very Best Book You Can. That is, Way Better Than Anything Else Now Being Written. (Aim high, guys.) Wheel spinning will only gain you readers who throw your book against the wall.

The mid-book will still be horror compounded to get across, but, day by day, you'll get through it, until one morning your hero will make a bold stroke, everything that your subconscious put in place will aid him, and you'll realize that you're in the Climax. Hurrah!

That, O my friends, is the mid-book.

So i've finished my first attempt at a novel. NOW WHAT!?

Revise the heck out of it.

Or, by "finished" do you mean "I already read it out loud. I already put it in my desk drawer for three months, then re-read it with my red pencil in hand. I've already sent it out to my beta-readers, and took their suggestions to heart. I already reprinted it using a different typeface and margins, so I could read it with a fresh eye. Now what?"

Now... send it out 'til Hell won't have it.

Go to your local bookstore. Find books on the shelf that are similar to yours. Note down their publishers. Write to those publishers to get their guidelines. Follow those guidelines to the letter.

At the same time, make a list of the agents who you would most like to represent you. ("Because he advertised in Writer's Digest is not a reason why you want someone to represent you!)

Proceed on a two-front approach. Try to get an agent, and try to get published, simultaneously.

Yes, it's easier to get an agent if you've sold a book, but it isn't impossible. Yes, it's easier to sell a book if you've got an agent, but it isn't impossible.

Be aware that you're playing in the big leagues now. No one is going to cut you any slack because you're a first-timer. The readers in the bookstores certainly won't. But ... if you've got a fair handle on English Prose, and if you have a strong story that you tell convincingly, you will be published. Maybe not at the first, or the second, or the third place you send the book ... but it'll happen.

And ... maybe not this book.

As soon as you drop the manuscript into the mail, as it goes off to its first publisher and its first prospective agent ... go back home, put your butt in your chair, and Start Your Next Novel.

Manuscripts are never so much finished as escaped. If you're still in the daily polish routine ... if you're making substantial changes, and they're improvements ... it isn't time to lay it by, not just yet.

If you're taking out a comma in the morning and putting it back in the afternoon, it's time to go to your beta readers.

Do try reading it aloud, and do try reading it reformatted.

Starting your next book now wouldn't be a bad idea. Writing one while revising the last is one way that keeps my batteries fresh. It might work for you.

Here's an article about aiming high.

Yes.

I've heard of the cover letter that came with one piece of slush: "I think you'll find the enclosed manuscript a cut above the kind of crap you usually publish."

This impressed the editors no end.

Jeff ...

I have a climax in mind when I start. (The climax is usually in the form of a startling visual.)

More than once I've reached a different climax. Heck, there's one climax I've been using for years, but never getting to it.

So.

What you do with your story: Find the right climax for it. How the heck do I do that, I can hear you ask.

One way: Hold your story in your mind as you're drifting off to sleep tonight. Tomorrow morning, write a whole new ending for your story.

(How long a story is this?)

If your last line is the weakest one in the story, cut it. If the last page is weak, cut it. Maybe you've overshot your conclusion?

Put the story aside. Read it again in a few months.

Ask your beta readers for their opinions.

Write a new story, then come back to this one.

Place this story aside, then rewrite it from memory.

Many are the things you can do to fix this story.

The best fix might be: Consider the writing of it as experience. Write a new story, this time with a strong climax. The climax is where you reward the reader for believing your tissue of lies.

Woo-whee, abdel411!

Those aren't simple, easy questions, and there isn't a simple explanation. Lots of different cases, lots of variables, lots of outcomes.

Here, though, are some very simple ones:
The length is whatever length is the best one for your story (you'll learn this through experience).
Who you send it to is someone who is likely to buy it (you'll learn this through research).
Average pay approaches zero (more experience).

Your local bookstore and library are full of book-length works explaining all these things. Check 'em out. Meanwhile, here's a good collection of articles: <a href="http://www.sfwa.org/writing/" target="_new">Read 'em and digest.</a>

Now some general words of advice: First write your book. Thinking about writing isn't writing. Talking about writing isn't writing. Only writing is writing. Write with all the power and passion and skill that you have. Get to The End. Revise the snot out of your book. Then send it on its way to paying markets.

Submitting your work isn't writing either; now it's time to start writing a new book.

Don't ever pay to get published.

Hapi,

The mid-book is "where the exciting action and the exciting combinations occur" (as I said way upstream and <a href="http://boingboing.net/2004_02_01_archive.html#107716444588285115" target="_new">Boing-Boing</a> blogged).

What I'm trying to say here is that the mid-book is (for me) the toughest part to write -- when the horizon recedes by one step for every step I take forward -- and seems to me to be the part of the book when most writers embarking on a first novel quit.

I've tried very formalist outlines (based on visual designs), and I've tried winging it to get through the mid-book. (The mid-book is lots longer than one-third of the book. It's the part that isn't the opening and isn't the climax.)

What I've found is that the stronger your opening, the better you've put interesting people in interesting places, the more easily you can answer the question "What the heck do I do now?"

For this reason openings are hard.

Mid-books allow you to do themes and counterthemes, and sudden shifts ... but that's because you're trying to set up the climax and illuminate it. Novels aren't just Very Long Short Stories. They are a knot where a short story is a string. They are a comedy routine where a short story is a joke.

I'm going to have to do a picture of a plot. I just know it.

1. What are the steps to get them published?

Type them double-spaced on one side of the page ... and submit them with a self-addressed stamped envelope. Same guidelines for manuscript preparation and submission as for any story. (Getting US stamps might be a problem -- International Reply Coupons is the standard answer, but I'm not certain how to work 'em from Russia.)

2. How much should I expect to get for a short story, say 15 pages? Do they pay for word/page/story?

Most magazines pay by the word. 15 pages * 250 words/page * $0.04/word = $150.00. Therefore ... you should concentrate on the best-paying markets. But that's good advice for everyone. Generally speaking, the number of readers you'll have is directly proportional to the size of your advance.

3. Who publishes SF short stories in the US? SF magazines?

Many anthologies and magazines publish SF short stories. Fantasy & Science Fiction, Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction and Analog are three of the best-known/highest paying magazines.

4. Should I take some specific steps for copyright issues? I don't know how US law works in this respect.

Generally speaking, copyright exists from the moment the work first is fixed in tangible form (that is, when it's reduced to writing from an idea in your mind). Copyright registration is generally done by the publisher who buys your works.

Now some more general advice: If you're doing your own translations, makes sure a native speaker of American English is among your beta-readers.

(Note: A beta-reader is one of your friends who is willing to read a draft of your story and make brutally frank, honest comments on it. When you find such a person, honor him.)

check www.ralan.com for a list of professional and semi-professional SF & Fantasy magazines

Another useful index can be found at <a href="http://www.marketlist.com/proindex.asp" target="_new">Marketlist.com</a>

Hiya, TroutWaxer! Pull up a chair, have a beer. Everyone's welcome.

For a really long gap of time, a chapter break is usually appropriate.

<blockquote>
<HR>

.... "Here's to success!" Margrave said, raising his glass.

"Sucess!" Wulfram echoed. The wine tasted bitter on his lips.

CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

What with this and that some five years had passed before Margrave saw Wulfram again....

<HR>
</BLOCKQUOTE>

Something else to ask is, "Why the long gap in time or jump in location? Wasn't a minor character doing anything in that time? Wasn't a major character having an adventure that would shed illumination on an important point in the approaching climax?"

Only show the important parts, yes. But ... have you explored every meaning of the word "important"?

Hey to Envygreen, too!

I don't mind free publicity one little bit. (One note: I'm James D. Macdonald. John D. McDonald is a) A better writer than me, and b) Dead.)

I hope you enjoy The Sun, the Moon, and the Stars (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0312860390/).

I didn't mention Writer's Market (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=1582971897/) (and Literary Marketplace)? O dear, I have been remiss! Both excellent sources for markets.

Yes, as soon as your story is done, you send it. But "done" means "fully revised." Don't send out first drafts!

Here's another rule: Never practice in public.
(and yeah, Never let a manuscript sleep over).

To me, Mainstream is a work of realistic fiction set in current times. A Literary work concentrates on prose style above realism.

But that's just me.

Really, what we're talking about are marketing categories. That's a mark on the spine that the publisher puts there to tell the bookstores where to shelve the books, so that people who are looking for a particular kind of book can find it easily.

There are four genres: Prose, Rhetoric, Drama, and Poetry. Everything else is a quibble on how to sell the product for money.

Six weeks between finishing a first draft and starting revisions is entirely reasonable. That gives you time for the book to go through the "How did I write this garbage? If anyone sees this they'll know I'm a fraud" stage without your having to look at it.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 04:49 AM

James D. Macdonald

Writing With Uncle Jim

AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler

March 2004

Hapi, all that fits under the general rubric of "playing positional chess."

That's putting interesting things into the first draft, that may or may not play out. In the second draft, I take out the stuff that was planted that didn't turn out to be useful (provide a fun combination, a surprise, or move things along in general).

So ... two groups wiring the same ship, at different places. One for a good reason, one for a not-so-good reason.

Neither goes off.

Though ... if I'd needed to, I'd be set to blow up the ship as part of the climax.

I don't keep a formal list of Fun Things taped to my desk. I just put Fun Things directly into the manuscript as I think of them.

From the <a href="http://pub43.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=412.to pic&start=21&stop=32" target="_new">Hello</a> thread.

<hr>

I had was,Is It (always,sometimes,never..) necessary to make sure that the reader is forewarned(per sey),that a certain charter has the propensity to do what he may end up doing?? Say,becoming the bad guy,when not expected too ??

Readers love to be surprised, but they hate surprises. This is contradictory, but it is true.

Recall <a href="http://users.telerama.com/~joseph/cooper/cooper.html" target="_new">Mark Twain's rules</a> for romantic fiction, particularly "They require that the characters in a tale shall be so clearly defined that the reader can tell beforehand what each will do in a given emergency."

So, you play fair with your readers. You foreshadow all the way through (this foreshaddowing can be symbolic). You don't have your characters break character. The goal is to have your readers say "I never saw that coming," and "That's so right!" simultaneously.

This is art. You do this in the second draft, if pointing up the things that need pointing, using what you now know.

May I recommend a couple of films to you, both of which include a character suddenly and unexpectedly shooting another, yet as you look back on 'em, both well foreshadowed? (Film is a different art form from the novel so lessons from one are not universally applicable to the other, yet both share the drive of narrative....)

Minority Report (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Minority-Report/Tom-Cruise/e/678149067026/)

L.A. Confidential (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/LA-Confidential/Kevin-Spacey/e/085391165118/)

Oh, and how about directly telling the audience what's to come? As we all know, the end of Carrie (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=ASIN/0671039725) has the town of Chamberlain, Maine, engulfed in blood and fire with hundreds dead. That ending is directly mentioned on ... page five (Signet paperback edition, 1975). Carrie's telekinetic power is mentioned on page one.

Discussion question for the group: While Carrie is the title character, the protagonist is Sue Snell. Support or oppose; be specific, support your opinion with quotes.

Foreshadowing can be as subtle as the weather, colors, or the sounds of words.

Right on.

Plunge ahead to "The End." Even if what you're putting on the page at the time is absolute crap. I give you permission to write badly. You're going to revise anyway, right?

I've found some of my best stuff was writing that I thought was crap at the time I put it down. And some of what I thought was my best turned out to be crap when the re-reading and rewriting stage came. It's a wash.

But it ain't nothin' if you don't have three-hundred-odd pages to play with, capisce?

The second mistake that writers make (after Not Writing the Darned Book To Start With) is to only write one book. Look, the first may not be very good. It may be good but not very marketable. So.... the day you send the first one out to the first publisher, that day you start your next book.

Entirely too many people write just one book, then spend the rest of their lives trying to find a publisher for what may be a fatally flawed manuscript.

1) Books are never really done. They escape.

2) Your beta readers may tell you.

3) Even after laying it aside for a month and re-reading it, you can't see anything substantial that needs fixing.

4) You're tired of it. What the heck, send it out.

"Could you detail how you move your own characters or how I could kick-start my outlining process?"

Tell me, Stefpub, have you run through the example games in Logical Chess Move by Move (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0713484640) yet?

Paragraphs ....

The easiest ones are in dialog. Every time a new person speaks, a new paragraph starts.

Else ... every time a new thought starts, a new paragraph starts.

Paragraphs are organized units of meaning.

I think I talked about paragraphs in one of the opening pages of this thread....

First ... Fame!

This thread is mentioned here: <a href="http://www.sillybean.net/archives//001460.html" target="_new">Writing and Publishing 101</a> (Excellent list of links.)

We've been <a href="http://boingboing.net/2004_02_01_archive.html#107716444588285115" target="_new">Boing-Boinged</a>!

<hr>

Now, another useful link: Gene Wolfe's <a href="http://subnet.pinder.net/onwriting/index.asp?name=./References/19970101wolfe.htm" target="_new">rules for writers</a>. (Mr. Wolfe, aside from his virtues as a writer, is best known as the inventor of the Pringle potato chip.)

<hr>

To other topics:

A hero, to my mind, is someone in your story who has died and returned from the land of the dead. This may be partly or entirely symbolic.

A protagonist, to my mind, is the person driving the plot, the one whose action or inaction causes the larger action of the book.

<hr>

How to get characters in motion, how to move them to useful positions:

This is easy: Get them moving! Get your pieces off the back rank. You will learn through experience that the best place for a knight is KB3 or QB3. While gaining that experience, just move them. You'll see what works and what doesn't.

Here's another hint: Put your characters through one-way doors. When you've moved a pawn you can't move it back.

And one more hint: If the positions of all the pieces and pawns repeats thrice the game ends. In a stalemate. Do different stuff.

And recall that all the maneuvering, all the knight-forks, all the pins, have one goal: Checkmate the other king. If you don't have the climax, you don't have diddly.

<hr>

Now paragraphing: There can be disagreements between authors on breaking the same text into paragraphs. There frequently are disagreements between authors and copyeditors on paragraphing.

Paragraphing can be for rhythm as well as for pure grammar. You are the artist. You are conveying thoughts. How you convey thoughts is part of your artistry.

<hr>

Last: The best way to learn to write a novel is by writing a novel. Has everyone done their two hours today?

From another thread (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessage?topicID=418.topic):

<blockquote>
<hr>
You want to see a plot with juice? Try Red Harvest (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0375411259/") by Dashiell Hammett. (I highly recommend this book -- it's got real page-turning power, and Hammett is a major American stylist.)

That plot has since resurfaced in Yojimbo (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Yojimbo/Toshiro-Mifune/e/715515020824/), Last Man Standing (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Last-Man-Standing/Bruce-Willis/e/794043450723/), and Miller's Crossing (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Millers-Crossing/Gabriel-Byrne/e/024543073833/) to name just three movies. I'm certain that some or all of that plot has appeared in other novels, in short stories, in movies, and TV dramas.

When you have written the book, you have made the plot your own. The plot is the framework that holds up the tent of your novel, but it is not the novel.
<hr>
</blockquote>

Hi, Beaver --

Best way to establish credibility and get the readers to trust you is to tell them the truth. Don't make up anything you can look up. Do the math.

On your chapter... do you Really Really want me to do a full edit on it?

Right.

Drop on down to <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm31.showMessage?topicID=206.topic" target="_new">p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm31.showMessage?topicID=206.topic</a>.

I'm going to take this thing one paragraph at a time, which means a series of ... 23 posts. At least.

"Style" is what you can't help doing.

Every word should advance the plot, support the theme, or reveal character. Better words do two of these things. The best do all three.

And more excellent links at Writing Links & Links for Writers (http://www.internet-resources.com/writers/wrlinks-fiction.htm)

Recall that some time back <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.to pic&start=285&stop=285" target="_new">I mentioned the Pathetic Fallacy</a>, and the way it keeps turning up in <a href="http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html#004641" target="_new">slush</a>.

This is true. An awful lot of slush starts out with personification of inanimate objects. If you can make it work this is okay. But be brutally honest with yourself about whether you've made it work.

*[need to insert link to HapiSofi's post about sex scenes, posted at Uncle Jim's request]*

Thanks, Hapi. That was truly useful.

<hr>

MacAlStone, you're moving from opening to mid-book. Keep going!

The six senses are:

Sight
Hearing
Taste
Touch
Smell
Proprioception

<HR>

And welcome, pina la nina! (I'm Jim to my friends, and I hope everyone here is a friend.)

Proprioception is awareness of where your body is in relationship to itelf. How you can tell how close your hand is to your leg, even with your eyes closed.

Yes, I read for pleasure -- all the darned time (Today, Post Mortem by Patricia Cornwell). But I also see books differently than I used to. I might say "Wow, the author sure slipped in some exposition there!"

Part of the trick is now to have both a writer's mind (to see how other writers write their books, as well as how you write yours) and a reader's mind to tell how your book will read to a non-writer.

(Think of a magician doing tricks for a regular audience, and that same magician doing the same routine for an audience of magicians. Each of those audiences will look for different things, and will be impressed by different things.)

Goodness, Dancre -- Beaver used it in his sample first chapter...!

An edited work is still yours.

jeir12 -- nope, I don't edit folks' manuscripts (except for educational reasons, as the spirit moves me). Your best course is to learn to edit your own.

Novella: at least 17,500 words but less than 40,000 words.

But is it more difficult to get published for this type of work?

Nope, easiest thing in the world. But they have to ask you. You don't write the book then submit it, like with normal publishing. Some cheerful editor calls you on the phone and says "Can you write a Spiderman book? Say, by Tuesday?" And you say ... "Sure."

This is getting closer to the slimey underbelly of traditional publishing here, but I have to say, the money's nice. It can keep you going as a writer while you're working on your regular stuff. Those two Spiderman books -- one was written in a week, the other over 72 hours. The dangers are two: you can be seduced by the money so you start doing them to the exclusion of your regular writing, and you can pick up bad habits that carry over to your regular writing.

The Bad stuff is as bad as you'd think (though you're talking pro writers here, who can do How Much for Just the Planet (http://thepulp.net/PulpCompanion/03summer/plot.html" ]story[/URL] on demand, so it's usually not as bad as the worst of the slush heap). The Good stuff can be darn good. (See, for example, Mike Ford's The Price of the Stars[/I].

You can pick up a copy here (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0812517040/").

You may quote me, with attribution.

For the title and byline being half way down the front - what font size should be used for those

Courier 10 or Courier 12

and is it okay to use something other than Courier for those?

Why would you want to?

And what is a byline?

The line that says "by [authorname]"

The name in the byline can be a pseudonym. The name in your address in the top left corner will be your real name; the name you want on the check.

For the running head - is it okay to just use your last name instead of your full name on every page?

Yes.

And is it really necessary to put the title?

Yes.

What font size and style should this heading be?

Courier 10 or Courier 12

What about chapter titles? What font size should be used for chapter titles

Courier 10 or Courier 12

and is it okay to use something other than Courier for those?

Why would you want to?

For titles, bylines and chapter titles - are bolds, italics or underlines acceptable?

Italics and underlines are the same thing (underlining is how you indicate italics). The title will appear as some kind of display font. Your name will appear as some kind of display font. Chapter titles can be italicized if the word would normally be italicized (e.g. a foriegn word or phrase). Usually all of these matters will depend on the publisher's house style. Don't waste time worrying about it.

And also - when should they be used within the story itself?

When you wish to. Italics are indicated with a single underline, bold is indicated with a double underline.

I'm a little hyphen crazy I think and I'm still not sure on the rule on when to use a hyphen or a semicolon or a colon.

Get a good grammar book. A writer who doesn't know how to punctuate is like a golfer who doesn't know how to swing. Your local bookstore will be full of test-prep books for students taking the SAT and PSAT. Those might be a place to start. And if you don't have a copy of Strunk & White (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=020530902X/"), go out now, today, and get one.

Really, I'm not kidding.

Well, I know to use a colon for lists. And a semicolon for two complete seperate sentences within one sentence. Or something like that. I should know these rules by now.

Grammar is your friend. You want to make your meaning clear to your readers. Grammar helps you do that.

Here's ([url]http://ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/index.htm) one place to start.

I return briefly the the Novel-as-chess-game trope, to give you this:

<A HREF="http://www.ex.ac.uk/~dregis/DR/quotes.html" target="_new">Chess quotes</a>

Go, read them, and see how each could apply to you and your novel.

Now, get your copy of Logical Chess: Move by Move (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0713484640"). It's a writing book. Really.

When you're typesetting, it's easy to miss italics that appear as italics in the text.

Underlines and double underlines are universally understood by typesetters, they're obvious on the page, and they're easy to add with a red pencil in the editing stage.

Beats the hey out of me, Jen. Knock on doors and call folks on the phone, I'd say.

Lots of things have changed in printing over the last fifteen years. Heck, fifteen years ago being a Selectric repairman was guaranteed full time employment.

I've said that I wished I could show you a picture of an outline. So I think I will:

Here's an <a href="http://shop.webomator.com/cgi-bin/cpshop.cgi?storecrc=cb&target=prod&page=1&trail=&st=&p=bws01.4397456" target="_new">outline for a novel</a>.

"What?" I can hear you say. "That's a friggin' box!"

Oh, dearly beloved, let me explain.

Look at that design. Notice that it has limits; thus we know that it is art. (It also has balance, and symmetry.)

See how the threads intertwine, appearing and vanishing? See how they all form a pleasing whole?

Each of those threads is a plot thread. Each of those curves is a story arc. It's okay to write character names right on the thread, and follow that character through the story. It's okay to name each thread for a theme, too.

When I outline, I don't set up one of those "outlines" like you learn in high school: Roman Numerals, capital letters, arabic numerals, small letters. No. (I'm certain that somewhere there's a writer who uses that style of outlining and makes it work: the master rules are "Nine-and-sixty ways" and "Does it work?") Nor yet do I do a Powerpoint series of Plot Points. (Again, somewhere, I'm quite sure, some writer has done it and made it work.)

Instead, I draw pictures of my plots. And the pictures that I draw are Celtic Knotwork. (For example: our <a href="http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/wiz1head.htm" target="_new">Circle of Magic</a> series was based on a <A HREF="http://www.webomator.com/bws/data/freeart/celtic/circles.html" target="_new">circle</a>, with six nodes, each linked to the point beside it, to the point two away, and to the point three away. Once the knotwork was complete, I labeled the threads for the characters (Randal, Lys, and Walter), for attributes (hand, heart, head), and for themes (honor, loyalty, stability).)

Then I watched how the threads interacted, which ones were on top, which more buried, and wrote the books based on the interlacing of the cords. If you're wondering why certain characters appear and vanish in the various books, why first one then another is the protagonist, there's where and how the decisions were made.

Here, for your own use, are <a href="http://www.entrelacs.net/en.index.php" target="_new">workshop instructions</a> on creating your own Celtic Knotwork.

You can adapt this to single novels (as I have) by saying that each node is a chapter, and again naming characters and themes as they're moved around and through, come in contact, are brought to the fore, and are hidden again.

Listen, for I will tell you a true thing: Your readers expect order, a plan. Even if they don't know explicitly what you're doing, they will sense whether you're in control.

<a href="http://www.entrelacs.net/en.6.php" target="_new">Here</a> are some outlines that could become dandy novels.

This is the book that taught me how to draw Celtic Knotwork: Celtic Art: The Methods of Construction (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0486229238") by George Bain.

Celtic knotwork is deeply embedded in Western thought. It dates back thousands of years. It's ingrained in the hindbrains of our readers. When our readers run into it, even though they don't consciously notice it, their imaginations will play along.

And that, my friends, is one of the ways in which I outline.

Here's a good line from that page of <A HREF="http://www.ex.ac.uk/~dregis/DR/quotes.html" target="_new">chess quotes</a> I gave earlier:

<blockquote>
<hr>

"If you have any doubt what to study, study endgames. Openings teach you openings. Endings teach you chess."

-- Stephan GERZADOWICZ, Thinker's Chess.

<hr>
</blockquote>

So.... let's think about that in writing terms. How many times have I heard "XXX started off well, but it fell apart at the end"? Lots of times, and lots of those times were when discussing why books got rejected.

We spend an awful lot of time talking about openings: opening lines, first pages, first chapters. Not to say those aren't important; if the first page doesn't invite the reader to turn the page that reader will never come to your ending. But ... you'll be able to mess with the opening in your second and third drafts. When you start your novel you may not have a clue what the real opening of the book is; even if you think you do, you may be wrong, and may find this out when you've finished your draft and read it through.

The climax is what pays off the reader for going with you. The climax is what entices the reader to buy and read your next book. (The reader will buy and read your next book, even if the opening of that book is slow, because of the promise of a strong ending.)

<Blockquote>
<HR>

"In order to improve your game, you must study the endgame before everything else...."

-- Jose Raul Capablanca, World Champion 1921-1927

<hr>
</blockquote>

The climaxes of novels, however, are difficult to study compared with the openings. The opening exists as a unity, it comes from a blank page, it's creating itself as it goes. The ending, of necessity, grows from the middle and the beginning of the novel. Where we can look at an opening chapter in isolation, it's difficult to look at the final chapter without having the rest of the story in mind. Take, for example, the classic last line from 1984 (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0451524934"): "He loved Big Brother."

As part of the whole, that's chilling; the epitome of horror. Taken without the rest of the book, it's meaningless.

The last three chapters of Moby-Dick (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0553213113) are the novel. All that came before was necessary to allow the reader to understand those three chapters.

<BLOCKQUOTE>
<HR>

"Modern chess is too much concerned with things like pawn structure. Forget it - checkmate ends the game"

-- Nigel SHORT

<HR>
</blockquote>

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 05:53 AM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim

March 2004

But, again, you may ask, what is the climax?

(Homework: Read a bunch of novels in many genres from literary to best-seller. Identify the climax. Go and do, in your own work, what the masters have done in theirs.)

Here is the one big secret of climaxes, from which all others spring: The reader must be in no doubt that this is the climax.

I said, earlier, that there's only one ending to the novel: The good guys win. I quoted, just a bit above, the last line of 1984. Did the good guys win?

I say yes: and I also say this: you must define, in the course of your narrative, who the good guys are, and what "winning" means. You cannot assume common views in today's society; you have to establish those views in terms of your fiction.

The book that does not so much end as stop, that appears to run out of steam, or where the author got to a certain page count and wrote "The End," those are not good climaxes.

For most writers at most times, "It was only a dream" and "Then they were all run over by a truck" are not going to be satisfying climaxes. (Unless you can make it work, of course. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0812504186/) is an example of the first, All Quiet on the Western Front (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0449213943) is an example of the latter.)

I had a beta reader before who criticized me for leaving some things out because she didn't get it -- she wanted the narrator to tell her if the protagonist was indifferent or angry, meanwhile he was "pounding his fists on the window."

If a reader tells you that there's something wrong, he's almost certainly right. If he tells you what's wrong, he's almost certainly wrong.

Which is it?

At which of those points did the audience spontaneously burst into applause?

That is the climax.

Not sure what to think.

What I think is that this is one of the ills of workshopping: The cheapest, easiest crit to give is "I wanted to hear more about XXX." This comes from looking at books piecemeal rather than as organic wholes.

Jim, do you think it would be better for me to just interweave the prologue in the novel's story or leave as is?

I haven't read your book, so my opinion is based on general principles rather than specific cases.

That being said: If you leave it as a prologue, half your readers won't read it.

That being said, I've used prologues in my own works about half the time.

We've been talking about rules? There are no rules. There are only guidelines, some of them stronger than others.

While most people are having great fun skiing down the slope on skis, every once in a while you'll see someone gliding up the slope on an ironing board and making it look easy.

"It works" trumps everything.

"Thanks for your comments Jim."

jerir12

Actually, Jeri, I didn't answer your question.

Knowing only what I know from what you've posted here:

One concern I have is whether the prologue gives away too much of the story.

The prologue (literally "before the word") has been used, mostly in drama, to explain what's coming, and at the same time give people time to get back from the candy counter, find their seats, sit down, and shut up.

You find prologues in movies and TV shows: those segments of action before the opening titles. These can be badly done: the voiceover in Dark City (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Dark-City/Rufus-Sewell/e/794043122965/) is an example.

They can be well done. The opening narration in The Fellowship of the Ring (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Lord-of-the-Rings-The-Fellowship-of-the-Ring/Elijah-Wood/e/794043554223/) (material that Tolkien wisely put in the Council of Elrond chapter, nearly half-way through the first volume, after the readers were engaged and cared about the information) is an example of a sucessful prologue.

Let's look at a couple of other prologues:

From Romeo And Juliet (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/William-Shakespeares-Romeo-Juliet/Leonardo-DiCaprio/e/024543403623/) by William Shakespeare:

<blockquote>
<hr>

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

<hr>
</blockquote>

Now from Dr. Faustus (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Doctor-Faustus/Richard-Burton/e/043396008618/) by Christopher Marlowe:

<BLOCKQUOTE>
<HR>

Not marching in the fields of Trasimene
Where Mars did mate the warlike Carthagens,
Nor sporting in the dalliance of love
In Courts of Kings where state is overturned,
Nor in the pomp of proud audacious deeds
Intends our Muse to vaunt his heavenly verse.
Only this, Gentles: we must now perform
The form of Faustus' fortunes, good or bad.
And now to patient judgments we appeal,
And speak for Faustus in his infancy.
Now is he born, of parents base of stock,
In Germany, within a Town called Rhodes.
At riper years to Wittenberg he went,
Whereas his kinsmen chiefly brought him up.
So much he profits in Divinity,
The fruitful plot of Scholarism graced,
That shortly he was graced with Doctor's name,
Excelling all, and sweetly can dispute
In th' heavenly matters of Theology,
Till swoll'n with cunning of a self-conceit,
His waxen wings did mount above his reach,
And melting, heavens conspired his overthrow;
For, falling to a devilish exercise
And glutted now with learning's golden gifts,
He surfeits upon cursed Necromancy.
Nothing so sweet as Magic is to him,
Which he prefers before his chiefest bliss;
And this the man that in his study sits.

<HR>
</blockquote>

Notice several things: First, that they are dispensable, second, that they are brief, and third, that they are self-contained.

So .... Jerir ... tell me about your prologue? Is it dispensable, brief, and self-contained? If it is, then make it a prologue indeed. If not, try it as chapter one, with a particularly long time interval between chapters one and two. See how that reads.

If the rest of the story-telling is strong enough, you'll have an editor who has read your work to comment on the appropriateness of your prologue. If the rest of the writing isn't strong enough, it won't matter.

And... please yourself. Pleasing yourself is a big part of the art of writing.

...the grammar checking function in Microsoft Word... is something that every writer should turn off, disable, and delete from their wordprocessor.

Stronger than love, stronger than hate, stronger than self-perservation, is the desire to mess with someone else's prose.

<HR>

<BLOCKQUOTE>

Prologue

The white and yellow flowers smelled sweet. A quiet psalm sounded among the whispering trees. The boy looked on with curiosity as large men lowered a coffin into the ground. The headstone stood nearby, a name on its face, every line carved hard and deep and cold. His brother's.

The boy tossed a white rose into the grave. Rain fell and chilled his hands.

His mother’s gentle palm brushed across his eyebrows, then his eyes, his nose, and his chin. Her lips were softer than her touch: She kissed him on one cheek, then the other, then on the forehead. Her eyes were red; tears mixed with the rain.

He shivered. She clasped his hands, giving them a warm squeeze.

He looked up and saw his father--so still, so grand, like the statue of a king. Rain fell, but his father never moved.

I'm not sure that "cleaved" is the word that's wanted here. To cleave is an interesting word, one that has two meanings in English: To split apart, and to stick together.

I don't see using it to describe carved letters at all.

We had some discussion, quite a bit ago, about taking college-level classes to learn to write.

Mostly, to me, courses labeled "creative writing" are a waste of time (except in so far as they get your fingers on the keys, which is never a bad thing).

Yet here I've found something that I think is pretty neat. It's a course called "Reception of the Arts," offered at Penn State, available over the Internet via their "World Campus." The course looks at art (all art), not through the making of art, not through the history of art, but by way of how the audience responds to art.

First, here's the site itself: <A HREF="http://art3idea.ce.psu.edu:16080/art3/" target="_new">InArt 3</a>.

To get into the site, click the "the main site" link.

The site itself is an eye-opener, without signing up for the course. Lots and lots of content here. To start -- look at the vertical black bar on the left. Click on the link called "red cubes," second from the bottom. New index on the left: Third from the top is "humors." Click on that.

You'll see a red square to the right of the black index bar. The leftmost link inside that red square is "melancholy." Click there, you'll get a definition, and a link to Lesson One.

Lesson one is wonderful ... to a large extent it mirrors my own opinions about art. So's the rest of the material on this site. I've been chasing down links on it for hours, and saying "Ooohhhh, that's right!"

This is a Grand Unified Theory of Everything as far as Art is concerned. We're artists, we writers. How the Audience Reacts is very important to us as far as being commercial artists (the reaction we want is "Throwing Pots of Money At Us").

So, read. Be astounded. I was.

Recall just a bit ago the novel 1984 came up? Recall one of the central conceits of 1984 was Newspeak, an artificial language designed to keep people from thinking, by destroying words? (The theory being that people can't think about things that they don't have words for.)

Well, here are some vocabularly lists for y'all. If we want to think like artists, words give us the tools to think about our art. Here you go:

<A HREF="http://art3idea.ce.psu.edu/art3/basics/a_to_f.html" target="_new"> Big Words A to F</a>

<A HREF="http://art3idea.ce.psu.edu/art3/basics/g_to_n.html" target="_new"> Big Words G to N</a>

<A HREF="http://art3idea.ce.psu.edu/art3/basics/o_to_z.html" target="_new">Big Words O to Z</a>

Those lists by themselves are mind-expanding (and will give you a big edge while playing Scrabble, too).

Try 'em. See if they don't add the ability to talk about -- to think about -- what we've been trying to do.

Golly. This is a course that I might take myself.

A bit back I was talking about knotwork as a way to think about plot. Here's all kinds of notes about labyrinths, as expressions of art. It works out to the same concept that I'd developed on my own, these many years past.

Here's a site to bookmark.

-------------

Coming soon: Another Way to Consider The Whole Plot.

GHOTI

That was George Bernard Shaw.

(GBS also only ran about two paragraphs of Eliza's dialog in dialect in Pygmalion before he dropped back to normal spelling. Learn from the master, O my child.)

See also, Dr. Seuss's example and illustration: "The Tough Coughs As He Ploughs the Dough."

If you're including lyrics from other people's songs, you have to get permission, and it's you, the author (not the publisher) who has to pay the permissions.

If you need lyrics, write your own.

In any case...

If you're a talented poet, and the poetry enhances the story (reveals character, advances the plot, supports the theme... you know the litany), then do it. Else, don't.

Titles can't be copyrighted.

When in doubt, consult your agent and/or your editor.

Dipping back to page 37 in this thread:

It's funny. She didn't say "something is missing" but "you did not put in such and such." So it seems like she does get it, but she wants some explanations to go with it.

I have to ask ...

Was this story being workshopped at the time, and did the reader have the full manuscript, or only a portion?

Back on page 36 of this thread.... Pthom asked:

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>So, what's my point? akaEraser asked, "How come we can't just make the italics or bolds or whatever to begin with?" My friend the typesetter is a small outfit; has only a few hundred clients. Uncle Jim, seriously, do the big guys still set type for whole novels by reading 8 1/2" x 11" typed copy? Especially when it's so much easier, quicker, and more error free to do it from a file. I betcha that 95% of us writers prepare our manuscripts using a word processor on a computer.

Surely, modern publishers utilize the most current and efficient technology. Don't they?

<hr></blockquote>

Let's see: Yes and no.

For the past several years I've turned in my manuscripts both as hard copy (standard manuscript format) and on disk.

All the editing is done on the manuscript, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I want to see what's happened. If the editing happened in an electronic file, how would I see what was changed, to either approve or disapprove of it?

Next bit: I use WordPerfect as a wordprocessor. Other writers use other programs. I know of one who uses XYWrite. I'm sure there's at least one who uses Peachwrite, another who uses Electric Pencil. There are probably some who use edlin. Heck, if my good old Atari were still working, I'd still be using PaperClip. I liked that wordprocessor. Somewhere there are writers working on original Macs, on Apple IIs, on a Coleco Adam (with the funky tape drive -- remember it?). Even a few holdouts who use typewriters.

I've heard horror stories from my editor chums, too: of the writer who turned in her novel on disk, with each individual page saved as a separate MS Word file. Of the writer whose files came through garbled. Of the writer who had the virus. I recently got done with a project which involved a group of writers each sending me chapter-length files. You wouldn't have believed the hand-fiddly-work it took to turn those individual files into one single coherent file.

All the way through, hard copy is faster, easier, and more efficient.

I bet that the typesetters nowadays take the marked up hardcopy, and at the end transfer the marks from the hardcopy to the text file that the writer supplied.

There's a silly article in Salon today.

<a href="http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2004/03/22/midlist/index.html" target="_new">www.salon.com/books/feature/2004/03/22/midlist/index.html</a>

(You'll have to look at an ad to read it.)

I'm a mid-list writer too, making my living at this game for the past fifteen years. Poor Jane Doe! She's written five books in ten years? What's she been doing with her time?

Most mid-list authors would love to have advances like she got. She's averaging $40K/year. That isn't poverty. She wants to be a writer? She should write. She should write books that people want to read.

A word of advice for her: What do you think pseudonyms were made for? Change your agent, change your name, and get to work.

You want to know my worst advance ? $2,000. You want to know my worst sales? 640 copies in hardcover. (Happy ending there: sold the book to another house, where it came out in paperback and sold over 100,000 copies.) Sales numbers and advances aren't particularly secrets. For heaven's sake! They're printed in the trade mags.

Friggin' cry me a river, lady. On your feet and get moving. Did someone tell you this gig is easy?
<hr>
UPDATE Joe Scalzi on this same article:
<a href="http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/archives/000703.html" target="_new">www.scalzi.com/whatever/archives/000703.html</a>
UPDATE 2 More from
<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/nihilistic_kid/405207.html" target="_new">the Nihilistic Kid</a>.

I remember one software upgrade:

"Don't worry," said the tech. "It'll be transparent to the users."

"Yeah," said the system manager. "Kinda like a helicopter's rotors...."

Two more links for y'all:

<a href="http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/archives/000701.html" target="_new">Ten pieces of very good advice</a>

<a href="http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004925.html#004925" target="_new">Discussion of that silly Salon article</a> (don't forget to follow the sub-links).

One space or two?

That tells folks if you learned how to type on a typewriter or a computer. Typewriter folks use two spaces after punctuation; computer-trained folks use one.

It's meaningless. Concentrate on telling a good story.

Now some practical advice for "Jane Austen Doe" over at Salon.com.

1. Don't quit your day job.

2. Take that first book, the one that you got the $150K advance on. I'm sure it's reverted by now. Resell it to a small press that will bring it out in a prestige trade paperback edition. A $500 or $1,000 advance is not too small for you to accept. Same with your other books as they revert.

3. That celebrity ghostwriter gig is a good one. Ask your agent to line up some more of those.

4. Drop your old name, whatever it is. Find a nice pseudonym and start again as a new writer. Sure, you'll get new-writer advances, maybe in the $5K range. Grow your career the old-fashioned way, by writing. Who knows? Maybe someday those earlier books of yours will be reprinted as "By Pseudonym (writing as Old Name)." Stranger things have happened.

5. When you get a big advance, put it in the bank.

6. Don't quit your day job.

For someone to enter a field notorious for its small financial rewards, unsteady prospects, and lack of recognition, then to complain about small financial rewards, unsteady prospects, and lack of recognition is ... well, many working writers who read that piece had reactions that consisted of laughing uproariously.

To call Ms. Doe's story a "tragedy" is rather overstating her misfortunes.

For that matter, it takes a certain amount of nerve on her part to call herself a "mid-list writer." She was certainly making front-list money.

Nah, when publishing house offers an unheard-of advance, put it into CDs, with the maturity spread out so you can't spend it all at once.

10,000 sold hard and paper combined, after a $150,000 advance? That wasn't just a mess, that was a disaster. That was the point where she should have changed her name.

If you're the sort of author who sells 10,000 copies, you aren't the sort of author who makes six-figure advances. And this isn't new -- publishing didn't become a business just in the last ten years. Let me whisper to you.... publishing has always been a business.

<hr>

No, 10% of Nothing isn't one of mine; I don't even know the author (except by reputation). I just think that he's written an important book.

After the intensity of their meeting with the police, Sylvie and Jayson had both felt drawn to the peaceful isolation of the soporific river running through the centre of Georgetown, and they held hands as they sauntered along the bank. The air was warm, almost motionless, and thick with the buzz of insects--it smelled fresh and clean and alive. Several picayune puffs of cloud floated lazily far above, their edges razor sharp against the deep cyan of the late afternoon sky. Sol beat down virtually unimpeded and Jayson's scalp had begun to tingle as perspiration collected in his hair and slalomed down the sides of his head. He was glad of the sensation, it confirmed they were out of the confines of the police station and away from everything it signified. Sylvie walked beside him with her face turned toward the water as it gurgled past.

“Tell me more about your mother, Jayson.”

<HR>

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>After the intensity of their meeting with the police, Sylvie and Jayson had both felt drawn to the peaceful isolation of the soporific river running through the centre of Georgetown, and they held hands as they sauntered along the bank.<hr></blockquote>

That's a bit of a run-on sentence. Watch the adjectives: peaceful isolation and soporific river. Is the comparison to Lethe intentional? Is a river running through central Georgetown really isolated? (In the USA, centre is usually spelled center.) Is "sauntered" the exact verb you want?

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>The air was warm, almost motionless, and thick with the buzz of insects--it smelled fresh and clean and alive.<hr></blockquote>

"Fresh" and "clean" aren't how I imagine thick, motionless air in the center of a southern city.

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>Several picayune puffs of cloud floated lazily far above, their edges razor sharp against the deep cyan of the late afternoon sky.<hr></blockquote>

Is "picayune" the right word? Is the alliteration intentional? Are the edges of puffs of cloud really razor sharp? Why say "cyan" if "blue" will do? Is either necessary? "Lazily" verges on pathetic fallacy territory.

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>Sol beat down virtually unimpeded and Jayson's scalp had begun to tingle as perspiration collected in his hair and slalomed down the sides of his head.<hr></blockquote>

"Sol"? Why make the readers pause to figure out the high-falutin' lingo? How is "virtually unimpeded" different from "unimpeded"? Must the reader imagine some unspecified impediment? Does "slalomed" fortify the image of warmth and peace?

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>He was glad of the sensation, it confirmed they were out of the confines of the police station and away from everything it signified.<hr></blockquote>

Consider using a semicolon between "sensation" and "it." How does having sweat trickle through his hair confirm that he's finished with a police interrogation?

<blockquote>Quote:<hr> Sylvie walked beside him with her face turned toward the water as it gurgled past.<hr></blockquote>

I'm having a hard time picturing her walking holding hands with him, not watching where she's going. Does the Potomac at Georgetown really gurgle?

<blockquote>Quote:<hr> “Tell me more about your mother, Jayson.”<hr></blockquote>

I hope we aren't leading up to a coredump of exposition here.

<hr>
The comments we've seen, about POV shift and direction shift, are good ones. Please consider breaking this up into three smaller paragraphs, with the sentence structures a bit simplified. This is an establishing shot; it should go down fast and easy to put a picture in our readers' minds before we get to the important information.

Imported, and slightly cleaned up, from another thread (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showEditScreen?topicID=457.topi c&index=17):

<hr>

Don't worry about scam agents pirating your works.

The only possible thing they could do with your manuscript would be sell it to a publisher -- and we know they won't do that, right? If they knew how to sell manuscripts to publishers they wouldn't need to be scammers.

I'm not a lawyer, and I don't play one on TV.

That being said:

Among the elements of proof in a copyright infringement you'll find "access." Independent creation is a defense against the allegation.

So, for someone to win a copyright infringement suit, you'll not only have your original materials, you'll have your correspondence with that individual.

Now it happens that plagiarism does exist (http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/personalities/accidental_strength.php). For example: Ron Montana's Death in the Spirit House (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0385178263) was plagiarized by Craig Strete, who published it as his own. Death in the Spirit House was eventually reprinted under Ron's name as Face in the Snow (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0553296337). In this case, however, it was an attempted collaboration gone horribly wrong -- WGA, mailing a copy to yourself, copyright registration, none of that would have helped, hindered, or made a darned bit of difference.

That's the only case that comes to mind in the past twenty years from the world of print fiction of an unpublished work being plagiarised.

Dawn Pauline Dunn and Susan Hartzell (http://www.scifan.com/writers/dd/DunnPauline.asp) plagiarized Phantoms (http://koontz.iwarp.com/phantoms.html) by Dean Koontz for two of their books, Crawling Dark and Demonic Color. In that case, Phantoms was already published, so prior existence wasn't hard to prove, and available for sale, so access wasn't hard to prove either.

One more plagiarism suit (http://www.likesbooks.com/lawsuit.html), this one from 1997: Janet Dailey (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0060176970) copied from Nora Roberts (http://www.news-star.com/stories/073097/life1.html); again this involved already-published books.

There have been whacko cases, of course. A lady who claimed (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/001463.html) that J. K. Rowling copied from her self-published children's books (thrown out of court when it was shown that the plaintiff had manufactured evidence). A lady from New Jersey who claimed that Stephen King had copied her unpublished manuscripts (by reading them through her window while flying by in his airplane) in a case that never made it to court.

Most plagiarism (http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/research/r_plagiar.html) cases involve previously printed books, whose contents are lifted in whole or in part for unpublished works. Don't worry about it; just don't copy from someone else's book in your own.

This is without going into derivative works -- using another writer's characters and settings for your own work. No matter how much I like The Lord of the Rings I can't write my own fourth volume. That isn't, strictly speaking, plagiarism.

So ... until you're published, forget it.

On why you might not want to copyright your works before you start sending them around: Say you copyright your manuscript, and start the dance. It sells a year from now. It's scheduled for two years later. So you have a book coming out in 2007 with a 2004 copyright date on it. People spotting it on the shelves for the first time might think it was an old book. Or -- do you want the first editors who come to your novel to know how long it's been batting around the slushpiles of New York?

(I remember one that I saw in the early nineties that had a 1967 copyright on its title page. (I read that one all the way through, each page lifting my eyebrows a little bit higher, as I realized why it hadn't sold in the intervening 25 years. No, I'm not going to tell you the plot, lest the author be here and be embarassed, but I promise you, if I told you, you too would say "Yeah, I see why that one never sold."))

So -- "Poor Man's Copyright" is an urban legend. WGA registration is worthless in print publishing (for all that it might be useful in the world of screenplays). Real, live copyright is of marginal utility, and might do you more harm than good in the print world.

Put it out of your mind. Having your work stolen isn't the first or second thing that you should be worrying about when you're submitting your book.

ma

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 06:48 AM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim

March 2004--cont.

Over the course of the past several months I've recommended various books and movies. Here's a all-in-one-post roundup:

Logical Chess: Move by Move (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0713484640)

Anglo-Scots folk ballads (http://www.childballads.com/)

The Bulwer-Lytton contest (http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/)

Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses (http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/railton/projects/rissetto/offense.html)

Miriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0877798095)

The Chicago Manual of Style (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0226104036)

The Haunted Author (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0060935448)

I Am A Professional Writer (http://www.cafepress.com/viableparadi.263026)

Turkey City Lexicon (http://www.critters.org/turkeycity.html)

The Sobering Saga of Myrtle the Manuscript (http://www.sfwa.org/writing/myrtle2.htm)

The Unstrung Harp; or, Mr. Earbrass Writes a Novel (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0151004358)

Standard manuscript format (http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/~mslee/format.html)

The Miller's Tale (http://www.luminarium.org/medlit/miller.htm)

The Trojan Women (http://classics.mit.edu/Euripides/troj_women.html)

Turk's Head (http://members.tripod.com/~cubclub/turk1t.html)

The Sun, the Moon, and the Stars (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0312860390)

Misery (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0451169522)

China Mountain Zhang (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0312860986)

"Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" (http://www.jonathanedwards.com/sermons/Warnings/sinners.htm)

How Lucky Can You Get? (http://www.pw.org/mag/0305/rose.htm)

sex, lies, and videotape (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/sex-lies-and-videotape/James-Spader/e/043396904897/)

Sweeney Todd In Concert (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Sweeney-Todd-in-Concert/Lonny-Price/e/014381152920/)

Rules for Writing (http://elmoreleonard.com/index.lasso?page=non-fiction_detail&skip=12&category=&sortorder=ascending)

Elmore Leonard (http://www.powells.com/partner/34766/s?kw=Leonard+Elmore)

My Week as a Pod Person (http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/depts/rk0307.htm)

Moonlight Becomes You (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0671867113)

3rd person (http://www.livejournal.com/~jonquils/2112.html)

omniscient (http://www.sla.purdue.edu/academic/engl/theory/narratology/terms/omniscient.html)

The Murder of Roger Akroyd (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Murder-of-Roger-Ackroyd/Agatha-Christie/e/9780425200476/)

Christine (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0553212478)

Captains Courageous (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0374528373)

Writing (http://www.sfwa.org/writing/)

Boing-Boing (http://boingboing.net/2004_02_01_archive.html#107716444588285115)

Marketlist.com (http://www.marketlist.com/proindex.asp)

Writer's Market (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=1582971897)

Minority Report (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Minority-Report/Tom-Cruise/e/678149067026/)

L.A. Confidential (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/LA-Confidential/Kevin-Spacey/e/085391165118)

Writing and Publishing 101 (http://www.sillybean.net/archives//001460.html)

Rules for Writers (http://subnet.pinder.net/onwriting/index.asp?name=./References/19970101wolfe.htm)

Red Harvest (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0375411259)

Yojimbo (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Yojimbo/Toshiro-Mifune/e/715515020824)

Last Man Standing (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Last-Man-Standing/Bruce-Willis/e/794043450723/)

Miller's Crossing (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Millers-Crossing/Gabriel-Byrne/e/024543073833)

Writing Links and Links for Writers (http://www.internet-resources.com/writers/wrlinks-fiction.htm)

story (http://thepulp.net/PulpCompanion/03summer/plot.html)

How Much for Just the Planet (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0671038591)

My homepage (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/)

Chess quotes (http://www.ex.ac.uk/~dregis/DR/quotes.html)

Celtic Knotwork I (http://shop.webomator.com/cgi-bin/cpshop.cgi?storecrc=cb&target=prod&page=1&trail=&st=&p=bws01.4397456)

Celtic Knotwork II (http://www.entrelacs.net/en.index.php)

Celtic Art: The Methods of Construction (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0486229238)

Circle of Magic (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/wiz1head.htm)

1984 (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0451524934)

Moby-Dick (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0553213113)

All Quiet on the Western Front (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0449213943)

Dark City (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Dark-City/Rufus-Sewell/e/794043122965/)

The Fellowship of the Ring (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Lord-of-the-Rings-The-Fellowship-of-the-Ring/Elijah-Wood/e/794043554223/)

Romeo And Juliet (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/William-Shakespeares-Romeo-Juliet/Leonardo-DiCaprio/e/024543403623/)

Dr. Faustus (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Doctor-Faustus/Richard-Burton/e/043396008618/)

InArt 3 (http://art3idea.ce.psu.edu:16080/art3/)

Big Words A to F (http://art3idea.ce.psu.edu/art3/basics/a_to_f.html)

Big Words G to N (http://art3idea.ce.psu.edu/art3/basics/g_to_n.html)

Big Words O to Z (http://art3idea.ce.psu.edu/art3/basics/o_to_z.html)

Mid-List Writer (http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2004/03/22/midlist/index.html)

Joe Scalzi on Mid-List Writer (http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/archives/000703.html)

Nihilistic Kid on Mid-List Writer (http://www.livejournal.com/users/nihilistic_kid/405207.html)

Discussion of that silly Salon article (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004925.html#004925)

Ten pieces of very good advice (http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/archives/000701.html)

The Postman Always Rings Twice (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0679723250)

Accidental Strength (http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/personalities/accidental_strength.php)

Death in the Spirit House (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0385178263)

Face in the Snow (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0553296337)

Stouffer/Rowling (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/001463.html)

Plagiarism (http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/research/r_plagiar.html)

You can learn whether a market accepts these (and whether they accept reprints, and much else) from their guidelines.

The first thing to know is that publishing is a buyer's market. That this is an unhappy thing for the sellers (we writers) should be obvious.

Next, you need to know that if a work is publishable by one it is publishable by many.

When a publisher buys a book, it isn't just some editor somewhere who reads it, loves it, and buys it all in the same day.

That editor will have to present the book to an editorial review board, pitch it to the publisher, work out a profit and loss statement, and find a hole in the schedule (arrived at with the other editors). Those other things will have to happen before the offer is made. If those things are done for a book that's no longer available (since if it is publishable by one it's publishable by many, the same process may be happening or already have happened across town), that's time and money wasted, alone with the editor's prestige among the other editors at the house.

Thus, publishers do not like simultaneous submissions. If you simsub and you're good enough to be published I guarantee that you'll be caught. (If you aren't good enough to be published, no one will ever know.)

The exception to this is the auction. This is agent territory. If you have a hot book by a hot author, the agent may select a few publishers who are likely to Really Want This Book, call them on the phone, and say "I'm auctioning this work." What that means is that the one who comes up with the best offer is allowed to publish it. Happy you! (Unless the book subsequently tanks, then Unhappy You, and it's time to pick a nice pseudonym.)

Yep, that's a disadvantage for the writer. Life's not fair.

That's part of what "buyer's market" means.

But what's your hurry? Are you in a rush to get as many rejections as possible? You sent your manuscript to a particular market because, out of all the hundreds of publishers out there who haven't yet rejected this manuscript, these are the guys you want to see publish your book. Right?

The Best of HapiSofi:

Lee Shore Literary Agency (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=15560&postcount=2)

Need Advice (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=956)

Agents Charging Fees (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=978)

Sex Scenes (...How?) (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=65845&postcount=4) Sex Scenes, version II (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82911&postcount=624)

Typesetting (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=83076&postcount=789)

1st Books was OK (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=14844&postcount=83)

Prologues (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82531&postcount=244)

Midbooks (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82834&postcount=547)

Tone (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82453&postcount=166)

PA Authors (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1860&postcount=367)

ST Comments I Love It! (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9283&postcount=62)

All PublishAmerica Titles are in the Library of Congress (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=11316&postcount=142)

Decent Typesetting (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=94054&postcount=18)
__________________
Dark Courier. A wonderful submission font. (Windows TrueType font.)

Dark Courier (http://www.neosoft.com/~bmiller/courier.htm)

Can't do the chess thing, can't do the Celtic Knotwork thing?

("Right brain" is supposedly Random, Intuitive, Holistic, Synthesizing, Subjective, and Looks at wholes. I'm not sure I believe it.)

I have two other metaphors for writing a novel. Anon, anon.

Turned in a novel a week ago Monday, turned in a proposal to my agent this last Monday, and I'm trying to get a short story finished by Friday. It's been a bit intense.

[END OF MARCH 2004]

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 10:07 PM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim

This is part of the longer series on Metaphors for Plot.

-------------------------------------

My father, W. Douglas Macdonald, was a chemical engineer and an electrical engineer. Most of his life he worked for building materials companies, including Glidden paint, US Plywood, and Eucatex. He died entirely too young, 72, of congestive heart failure secondary to chronic obstructive pulmonary disease; that is to say, smoking killed him. (Note to everyone: If you smoke, quit right now.) I miss him very much.

That was his professional life; his hobby was modelmaking, specifically ships and model railroads. He won contests in the 1920s for his model railroad cars. Back when I was young, he let me help him with his modelmaking (talk about your love: the help of six-year-olds can be a challenge). That was where I learned modelwork, which I still enjoy.

All the arts are related; modelwork and novel-writing. Both center on making a world in miniature, a false seeming that convinces the viewer/reader of its reality.

Herewith some lessons I took away, and use in my own works:

No matter how good your model is, it won't be perfect. No matter how much praise you get, no matter what awards you win, you'll never be able to look at that model and see anything but its imperfections.

No one counts the rivets on a moving car.

If you suggest detail, the viewer will add his own details.

The rivets on model cars are badly out of scale. To have visible rivets, they'd have to have heads the size of softballs.

Painted plastic, painted wood, and painted metal all look the same.

It isn't a model until you add people. Before that, it's a clever machine, perhaps, or a toy. Characters bring their own reality, and bring the person looking at the model into the story. Your models tell stories; if you have a car that's got mud on it, or rust, or scrapes and dents, it has a history. The viewer won't know what the dent came from, but he'll know that the car has been places, done things, and subconsciously won't think of it as something that just came from a modelmaker's workbench.

----------------------------------

Another thing: there were always hidden things, that only the modelmaker knew about. These made the model real to him, and if it was real to him, it would be real to the viewers. For example, once we made a model of the
submarine USS George Washington (http://www.modelshipgallery.com/gallery/ss/ssbn-598/200-hq/ssbn598-index.html). This was a plastic model with a hinged side that could be opened to show the interior. One of the interior spaces had a door that led to the food storage reefer. My dad built and painted scale model hams, hung them in the walk-in refrigerator area, then continued with the model, sealing that area off where it would never be seen.

Sometimes the best model for a thing is the thing itself: nothing looks so much like a load of coal in a hopper car than crushed coal in a hopper car.

Don't put things square on bases; use diagonal lines. They suggest motion.

A frame makes the model seem more real than it otherwise would appear.

Let the paint dry before you touch it.

If you can't see the world you can't model it.

---------------------------------

I haven't built model railroads, though I love doing model ships and model houses.

Herewith are some exercises for y'all; not too expensive, and again (I promise!) will help your novel writing. (Or, anyway, it's helped mine.)

First off, get yourself a nice HO scale paper model house. Two I've done are Cut and Assemble Victorian Cottage (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0486273113) and Cut and Assemble Victorian Shingle-Style House (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0486290824). Of the two, the latter has the greater story possibilities.

Build one of the houses. In the building of it, add one interior room. (If you want, you can open doors and windows with your X-acto knife to give other people a chance to see it, or not.) Note: while the instructions don't say it, paint the insides of the chimneys black! If you leave them white, the illusion is broken. If you blacken them, the illusion is strengthened. Anything that
doesn't add to the illusion detracts from it.

Now place the model on a base. Landscape it. (http://www.woodlandscenics.com/) (Landscaping can cover a multitude of sins.) Spring, summer, autumn, winter scenes all have different feels.

Add people. (http://www.discounttrainsonline.com/HO-Scale-Figures-Preiser/HO_FIG_590_1.html) These tell your story. If you put in a group of folks having a garden party, it's a different story from the model that has a police car and an ambulance pulled up out front of the house, with detectives, dogs, uniformed police, and a stretcher with a sheeted form being wheeled out the front.

Don't skimp on the people. In my model of the shingle-side house, one figure (of several) cost more than the rest of the materials combined. I found it in a hobby shop, and knew that this was the figure I needed. The more realistic the little plastic people, the more real the entire model will appear.

That's it. Learn to see the world. Discover that tree trunks aren't brown; they're grey. See how the same basic, off the rack things, when arranged in various ways, with you choosing the arrangment, make different, unique, artistic stories. Discover that when you mix paint for your Pullman cars using paint chips taken from real Pullman cars, that they look too dark -- you have to lighten the paint to make it look right. Looking right is more important than being right.

The models don't look like much until you have them all put together, landscaped, populated, and framed. Then ... they're magic.

-------------------------------

Now an exercise for everyone: As you drive along, you'll meet cars coming the opposite direction. Look at the other drivers. You have from the moment they come into view until the car is abreast of you to give them names, and brief histories. In heavy traffic you'll be doing a lot of naming and history-provision. Make sure the names and histories fit their appearances.

Right on, Karen.

I tell my readers everything they know -- but I don't tell them everything I know. If you know who your heroine's best friend was in fifth grade, and where she went on vacation in the summer between fifth and sixth grade, your character will be consistent in her later actions, in the story that you're telling your readers.

This is another bit of the modelwork question: A viewer can only see three sides of the model house. He assumes, because he knows what houses generally look like, and because you made the angles correctly, that there is a fourth side. This may not be true, you may not have a fourth side on that model house -- but the viewer will supply it.

The viewer also supplies an interior to that house, even though it may quite literally not exist... that's why I suggest that you build at least one interior room in your model house. You will know that it's there, and your knowledge will be transmitted to the people who see your model, through your increased confidence.

Even if you don't want to build a paper model house (though I suggest that you do -- all of the arts are related) you can still play with the Putting A Storebought Thing Into Another Storebought Setting and Creating Something Uniquely Your Own in the Process by using one of those little Collectible Cottages (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=Collectible+cottages++&btnG=Search) and some model railroad landscaping (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=model+railroad+landscaping&btnG=Search). Here's where to get workshop instructions (http://www.woodlandscenics.com/collectiblehouses.htm) for doing that.

Remember when I said, long ago, that you had to follow along and work the problems to see what I mean? This is another one of those where I suggest you really try.

How many of y'all have memorized that speech from Richard II? How many have retyped the first chapter from a favorite novel?

He longs for a smoke, but he doesn't dare touch a cigarette.

OR

He longs for a smoke, but he doesn't dare touch a cigarette, not after quitting after five years of struggle.

Not enough information to tell which is "better." What's the chapter it's in look like? What's your usual style? What else is going on?

Is it even necessary to mention him longing for a smoke? Me, I'd just say He longed for a smoke and leave it at that.

If you write fantasy or sci-fi, you tend to have to describe the settings, people, etc. in great details because you're putting the readers in a strange world.

I dunno about that. I've written a series of SF books that includes faster-than-light spaceships.

All we know about the way those spaceships work is this:

They have engines.
The engines have tubes.
They need fuel.
A hyperspacial reference block is a neccesary part.
That reference block can get out of alignment.
When it gets out of alignment, you need a synchmeter to fix it.

That's plenty, don't you think?

Remember this: books are about people, and people are people no matter where or when.

Right on, Karen.

Writing/reading is an act of co-creation. (That's one reason writers want readers....)

We don't give folks an experience, we give them the blueprint with which they build their own experience. We give them two points; they construct the rest of the line.

You don't know how much this lady annoys me. She isn't a mid-list writer. I'm a mid-list writer. She's a wannabe front-list writer who's discovering that she might be a mid-list writer (Sob! Horror! Woe!).

Here are a couple more responses to that thing:

This one has some very good advice (http://www.bookslut.com/blog/archives/2004_03.php#001776) for all writers.

Here's a dead-on accurate parody (http://www.teevee.org/archive/2004/04/01/arts-fanfic.html) of the original weepy article.

You can indicate these with italics (which are indicated by underlines in your manuscript), or by saying "Bill thought," or by some combination of the two.

Entire paragraphs of italics are hard to read. If your book includes entire paragraphs of thought, consider writing it another way, or indicating thoughts in some other way.

Don't worry about it. House style is going to rule in any case.

Oh, yes, another link:

This piece (http://www.geocities.com/school_idiot/hp.htm) has many insights on writing and the writing life. It's all true, too.

Why 98% of the slushpile is unpublishable. (http://www.apa.org/journals/psp/psp7761121.html)

Is there a difference between these sentences:

Billy was kind to animals.
Billy was not unkind to animals.

In the first, Billy is kind to animals. In the second, Billy could be kind to animals, or he could be indifferent to them. He could be anything at all in relation to animals except unkind to them. The second sentence is more ambiguous.

I'll overlook the obvious differences in sentence rhythm and complexity, though those might take more importance when you're figuring out which sentence to use in a given paragraph.

International Slushpile Bonfire Day (http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.html?id=950)

Quote:
New York -- One of the most onerous tasks in the magazine and book trade is the sifting of the slush pile. Slush piles, the collection of unsolicited and unagented manuscripts sent to publishers by beginning or would-be authors, are sometimes the source of future literary successes, but more often than not are the source of headaches and indigestion. Many editors privately complain and scream about the uselessness of slush piles, but fearing a backlash from beginning writers who already assume conspiracies keep their work from being printed, very few speak out about the quality and quantity of the material received.

With this in mind, the international literary community announced a special amnesty day for those long-suffering editors forced to sift through manuscripts where everything but the name of the author was misspelled on the title page. April 31, 2002 marks International Slushpile Bonfire Day, where editors and publishers are encouraged to collect all of the unreadable or unusable manuscripts that have built up in their offices, in some cases since 1968, and burn them while drinking wine and singing songs. Since one of the worst offenders is the science fiction / fantasy / horror triumvirate, SF, fantasy, and horror editors are allowed to place the first documents and light the pile when complete.

-------------------------

And while we're at it: Brilliant Sri Lankan Novelists Go Home (http://www.upi.com/view.cfm?StoryID=14052002-055042-1541r)

Quote:
NEW YORK, May 14 (UPI) -- Did you ever notice that the books in the airport reading rack -- the books that everyone actuallyREADS -- are never the books that are reviewed in the big Sunday book sections?

You're British, writing in Britain, presumably for British markets? I'd say a British dictionary should be your choice.

I reiterate:

If a reader tells you that there's a problem in your book at a certain point, he's almost invariably right. If he tells you what the problem is or how to fix it, he's almost invariably wrong.

-----------------------------

And it occurs to me, this advice seems valuable with regard to lots of other information, as well--setting descriptions, character appearances, etc. In short, all those details that we, as writers, spend sooooooooo much time lovingly dreaming up, thinking through, and writing down in our notebook/compendiums to ensure consistency (wait a sec--were Bill's eyes blue, or brown, in chapter two. . .)

This is related to making every word reveal character, advance the plot, or support the theme. Better still is if the words do two or three of those things all at once. Hold a gun to each word's head and make it justify its existence. Every word needs to be the right word, in the right place. (See above, the discussion of that opening paragraph from a chapter, with the fellow who just got finished with a police interrogation who goes walking by a river with his girlfriend.)

Anything that doesn't add to the story subtracts from it.

Consistency helps you avoid illusion-breaking. But just because you know something doesn't mean you have to tell your readers. The readers will assume that anything you tell them is important, and hold it in mind, expecting you to use the inforrmation later in your story. It's possible to overload your readers.

BTW, if you ever do cut-n-paste all my posts together into one document, if you'd send me a copy....

Sure, I don't have a problem with that, provided there's credit given, and a link back here.

Though, I think I'd like a chance to go through and edit the final document .... and it's likely the discussion will continue.

I (believe it or not!) do intend to write a few more multi-screen posts on Writing.

Chicago Manual of Style? Hah! I got yer Chicago Manual of Style hangin'!

Go Fowler!

Here (http://www.bartleby.com/116/index.html) is the ultimate reference for every question you ever had about English usage. And it's free!

Or, get it in hardcopy (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0192813897), suitable for smacking other members of your writing group upside the head.

It sure is a balancing act trying to convey what you want while leaving enough room for the reader to create an image of the story and the characters for themselves.

This isn't actually hard: Only include those details that are important to the story, and don't include the details until the reader cares about those details.

You pretty much have three choices ...

Shorten the scene significantly -- only one question.

Show the scene from someone else's point of view.

Delete the scene and let your character's subsequent actions reveal her thoughts.

In my never-ending stream of copying my earlier posts from elsewhere: this is from Making Light (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/001541.html#001541).

--------------------------

Let's see if I can clarify a bit more about the difference between vanity publishing and recording your own music to sell after your gig:

There's no quality control in the world of vanity press publishing.

With the self-published musician, there is quality control. If the musician weren't at least half-way competent, he'd never have the gig in the first place to sell the disks after the show. And you've already heard his music, and you've liked it enough to want to have a bit of it to take home.

With the self-published fiction author, most times the manuscript is ... slush. No one would read it willingly.

The exception to this is in non-fiction. If you happen to be the world's foremost expert on some obscure subject, you can write and self-publish a monograph and have people pay you for a copy. If you're delivering lectures from the platform, you can say "Copies of my book are available at the back of the hall," and no one will blink. If you're written a local history, you can sell it in a local bookstore -- no interest anywhere else in the country, lots of interest right in that one location.

Note, though, that in all those cases there is quality control. You first have to have a reputation as the world's expert on something, or you have to have hired and filled the hall, or you have to have convinced the bookstore owner to carry your book. None of those things are easy.

If someone says "It's easy. Just give me your credit card...." that person doesn't have your best interests at heart.

---------------------------

Another factor in quality of product in the vanity fiction area is the availablity of legitimate outlets.

If you were living in the 19th c. and you'd written the very best erotic novel in the world, it couldn't get legitimately published, and so would be privately printed. A fair number of the privately printed 19th c. erotic novels are pretty good.

Here, now, if you've written the very best erotic novel in the world, there are any number of legitimate, advance-and-royalty paying, sales in major bookstores, publishers who will be slavering to hear from you. Thus the only erotic novels that are vanity published are either a) very badly written, or b) of such small niche interest that it wouldn't repay publication (the erotic potential of women's right middle toes, and even then if the book is really the Best in the World, it could be legitimately published as Magic Realism and those who liked that sort of thing would get an extra bonus), or c) actively illegal (pre-teen bestiality incest, frex) (And some of those can be well-written too, if you can get past the squick factor).

Getting down to the main point: if you've written the greatest sword-and-sorcery novel in the world, lots of publishers will be lining up to publish you. If you've written a basically competent sword-and-sorcery novel, lots of publishers will be ready to publish you. If you've written a pretty-much-okay sword-and-sorcery novel and the timing's right, the book will get published, though perhaps after a few rejections.

Which means that the only sword-and-sorcery novels that you'll find from the vanity press are the ones where the author's only writing skill is the ability to write a check, and the very, very, exceedingly rare good book whose author was totally scammed. But no one will ever hear of that very, very rare book because readers and bookstores and everyone else go "avert! avert!" when they see the vanity label.

Very few read slush manuscripts for fun. No one reads a second slush manuscript for fun.

---------------------------

I've been reading The Gangs of New York (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=1560252758) which has some interesting descriptions of con games and swindles from the 19th c., things like selling gold bricks, the banko game, and a variant on the pigeon drop.

In the variant, the con man approaches a fellow and offers to sell him a bag of counterfeit money for pennies on the dollar (one enterprising grifter sent out advertising flyers through the mail making the offer). The bag of money is shown, and the mark is invited to take a sample to any bank to have the bill checked out -- it's such a perfect counterfeit that no bank clerk can detect the fakery. The mark takes the bill, goes, and wow! It really does work! This is great stuff. He comes back, buys the whole bag of counterfeit money, and -- when he opens it -- finds only cut up newspaper. (Need I mention that the reason the counterfeit bill passes muster is because it isn't really counterfeit?)

(Another scam, not mentioned so far in that book at least, involves going to the racetrack and going around advising people about horses that are sure winners. The trick is that you recommend every single horse that's running in a given race to various people. In the course of talking with the mark, you slap him on the back, putting a chalk mark on his coat. After the race, you hang out at the pay window, and watch for people with your chalk mark on his coat. As they're counting their money you come up and say "Hey, remember me? I gave you that tip. How about a tip for me?")

Not too bad a scam.

-------------------------

Back to the literary scams of the current day:

We have some nefarious deeds decribed here:

http://www.writersweekly.com/warnings/helping.html

And more about the Helping Hand Agency here:

http://www.sfwa.org/beware/general.html#titsworth

Find out the name of the detective assigned to the case!

-------------------------

Here's something:

Not to be confused with the well-known http://www.promedia.com/ we find http://www.promediainc.net/.

Promedia Entertainment has apparently been placing newspaper ads all over the place, selling their training materials.

Who knew that there was such a screaming shortage of script readers in Hollywood that folks who had taken a $50 videotaped course could get high-paying jobs working at home reading scripts?

---------------------------
---------------------------

And ... next, a grammar quiz:

Golly.

How Grammatically Sound Are You? (http://quizilla.com/users/BaalObsidian/quizzes/How%20grammatically%20sound%20are%20you%3F/)

I, of course, am a Grammar God.

Frex = For Example (i.e., e.g.).

Hi, Steve Eley, good to see you here!

Yes, I do have fun, and that's excellent news about your novel.

Now a minor brag of my own, and a digression.

First, the brag: We had two short stories come out last year: one original, one reprint. Both of the anthologies they appear in are listed here: VOYA (http://www.voya.com/) (Voice of Youth Advocates) Best Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror 2003 (http://pdfs.voya.com/VO/YA2/VOYA200404BestSciFi.pdf).

That's a major review venue, and it's nice to be noticed. The specific anthologies are New Skies (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/new_skies.htm) and Crusade of Fire: Mystical Tales of the Knights Templar (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/crusade_fire.htm).

In further good news, today's mail brought a royalty check for $17.50. Not much, but those checks have been arriving every six months for the past nine years for one short story in one anthology. It does add up over time; no further work required on our part.

This brings us to the digression:

Anthologies.

Here's the way fiction anthologies work:

An editor pitches an anthology idea to a publisher. ("We'll get Stephen King, John Grisham, Tom Clancy, and a few other people to contribute....")

The publisher likes the idea, and writes a contract with the editor, sending the editor an advance. Standard royalties, you know the deal.

The editor then sends letters to King, Clancy, and Grisham, all of whom write back polite notes saying words to the effect of "So sorry, much too busy."

At this point the "a few others" clock in, because one of them can be you. The editor lets it be known that he's reading for an anthology, with the following title, following theme (can be anything from very specific to very broad), that the deadline is this, the lengths requested are that, and off you go.

The editor selects from this vast slush-heap (the size of the slush heap varying by how well known he is, and how widely noised-about the anthology is) the dozen or so stories he wants. Edits them, all that.

If the editor is canny, he will pay on acceptance (you get a better quality of slush that way). If he's stingy, he'll pay on publication. If he's a moron who has spent all the advance money on a flashy website, or a cheap bastard who has decided to keep the money all for himself, there won't be any money at all (don't submit to those anthologies, kids!).

The stories come in, the payments go out (3-5 cents a word, whatever).

The anthology is printed. Most times it sinks without a trace, you take your story and try to resell it to other markets.

Sometimes, though, the anthology earns back its advance. There are royalties! Hurrah!

The editor gets those royalties. You haven't signed a contract with the publisher, you've signed your contract with the editor.

Generally, the editor keeps 50% of each royalty check, and divides the money among all the authors who contributed to the anthology. There are two ways of splitting it up: one is by the page (pro rata, this is called). So if the royalties are $100, the editor keeps $50, and divides the rest among the authors -- your story is ten pages out of a 350-page book, you get $1.43.

The other way is by dividing the money by the number of stories. Same $100 royalty, same $50 to the editor, you your ten-page story is one of a dozen stories in the book, you get $4.16.

The contract you have with the editor will specify how the royalties will be divided; pro rata or per story.

That's the way it's supposed to work.

Now I've had stories where the very first royalty payment was over $800. Selling to a book that sells well is a great way to live. I've had stories that have kept contributing small amounts to the household grocery fund for years -- over a decade in one case. Selling to a constantly-in-print anthology is nice.

What you don't want to do is sell all rights for a one-time-flat-fee (or, even worse, for nothing at all). You want to have profit participation in all of your words, and keep the rights yourself.

End of digression.

Hi, Hannibal --

If you haven't started from the beginning of this thread ... maybe you'd like to?

We'll Always Have Paris (http://vanveen.livejournal.com/186282.html)

Like I keep saying: Celebrities are in a different ball game from the rest of us.

I've gone into outlining several times upthread.

Basically, the old Roman numeral/letters/numbers outline style is particularly useless for novels, IMHO.

I like things a lot more organic.

The roadtrip/map idea is interesting, and might be useful. As long as you aren't doing it literally.

The way to finish a work is to set aside a time every day during which you do nothing but write. You don't have permission to stop for any reason, or to rewrite, until you've reached THE END. This too is explained in more detail upthread.

While I'm sure details about life in Hungary would be fascinating, I don't think this is the thread to put them in.

Sure, Chris, there are exceptions. Publishing in general is one big exception.

You had a good, valid reason to self-publish. You wanted a limited number of copies by a certain date. That your book sold outside of your immediate family is a plus.

Poetry is one of the genres where self-publication is traditional.

As far as using PoD self-publication or vanity publication as a way to reach the general reading public, though ... I wouldn't recommend it. "The race is not to the swift nor the victory to the strong, but that's the way the smart money bets."

-----------------------

Note on my use of the word "genre" here. There are four genres: Poetry, rhetoric, drama, and fiction.

----------------------

In other depressing news, the Garfield movie novelization is out. Those of you who have been trying to perfect your craft, and finding the frustration of submitting/rejection/submitting again wearing on the nerves will look at that book (or, worse still, try to read it ... a prize to anyone who makes it all the way to the end of chapter one!) and despair.

That book reads like it was written by a pro over the course of a long weekend, fueled by a pot of coffee and a case of beer; either that or it was written by the producer's cousin who always wanted to write a book.

That book was not published because it was an outstanding piece of literature. It was published because a Hollywood movie gets a novel (paid for out of the advertising budget). Pay no attention to this; it's not part of the set of things that are under your control. Rather, think that the money Hollywood paid to have that book published will help pay your advance, and the money Hollywood is paying the bookstores for placement of that book will help pay the salaries of the clerks who will recommend your book to their customers.

And think that if you get a reputation as a writer who's easy to work with, who can reliably hit deadlines and come in on-length, that someday you may be the pro who gets that movie deal; a five figure advance for a long weekend's work, fueled by coffee and beer.

An outline is a planning document. Some people find them useful in constructing a novel.

Uncle J, did you read the companion book to "Terminator 3"?

I darn-near wound up writing it. But ... it didn't look like the fun-to-money ratio was right on that one, and based on what I heard afterward I was right. Dodged the bullet on that one.

My thoughts on fan fiction?

Well, why not ask me to walk through a minefield instead?

It can be useful when you're practicing at home alone, when you're doing exercises creating plots using predefined characters. However ... that's for you, at home.

You'll eventually have to create your own characters, too. Why not now?

As far as submission material to Viable Paradise, I would rather see something of your own, even if it's less polished, rather than a fan piece.

I'm aware of a line of fanfic erotica stories based on Mr. Spock from Star Trek.

A goodly number of them featuring Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk as gay lovers. Let's not get into a big discussion of fanfic, okay?

People write it. It's okay for you to write it, if you're doing it as an exercise in story construction and plot, where you don't have to come up with your own original characters and backgrounds. Just don't publish it.

(Yes, yes, I know all about the parody and fair-use defenses in copyright infringement suits. This isn't the time or place to discuss them. If you want to write and publish fan fiction, what you do is become a professional writer, then let it be known to the people who own the rights that, if they want to have a novel set in some TV or movie world, you're available. There are lines of Star Trek and Star Wars novels. (In earlier times there were Bonanza novels, Man From U.N.C.L.E. novels, and Brady Bunch novels. I kid you not.) I don't think that J. K. Rowling will want anyone to write a line of Harry Potter novels for her, but hey, stranger things have happened.)

First, work on your own stories: your own characters, your own situations.

You aren't asking for much, are you, Chris?

Okay, open with a noble knight riding along the way. He's got a prancing white horse, a noble gleam in his eye, a hawk on his wrist.

There he goes. Whizz! A crossbow bolt comes out of the underbrush. Hits him in the jaw, he's down, he's out.

The gent with the crossbow comes out of the brush, walks up to the noble knight's body, takes the money purse from the knight's belt. Opens it, takes out three silver pence. Says "Next time, pay your gambling debts."

Leaves the rest of the money, all the rich trappings.

Next, the knight's sword gets picked up by a peasant. He has no use for a sword, but he has a need for a new coulter for his plow. Blacksmith puts it on the plow.

The knight isn't dead, but he's hurt bad. He recovers, but never again is able to speak nor eat solid foods.

The three pieces of silver are melted to make nails to hold together a small wooden chest.

The bread made with the grain grown from the field plowed with that sword has mystic properties.

The knight becomes a monk, goes begging. He's got religion. He can hardly talk, but he can preach.

The monk eats some of the bread, and is cured. He cuts out his own heart, and puts it in the wooden box. He carries it with him.

The kingdom which the knight is no longer protecting is under siege by the Powers of Darkness. (That is, it's so dark that wheat won't grow. Bad weather, bad crops. Only the one enchanted field is still producing.)

The monk determines to find the source of the bad weather-luck. He goes into the wilderness. There he finds an old woman who is starving. He offers her his heart which is in the box. She eats it, and becomes a) strong, b) well, and c) the guy with the crossbow back from the first page.

The monk is now healed, has his heart back, and is able to talk. He returns to where he was heading back on page one, where he becomes the rightful king. The bad weather is over. The enchanted field is never seen again. There is much rejoicing.

The end.

-------------------------

That's a short story. That's a lime pie. For a novel, then's the ship and the chessgame and the house and knot.

So, death and rebirth, journey, power of threes, king's health linked to the land's health, and the sacrament of the Eucharist, all rolled together. After this it's just typing.

I want to know what happened to the hawk on his wrist.

Who did you think was telling the story?

Tell ya what, Chris -- now you can go out and buy some of my short stories. And buy some of my novels, too.

(You want to see me write a novel? I'm doin' it every day. Check your bookstores.)

This is quite enough to start baking the pie writing. When you get to The End, revision and rewrite, make it all smooth.

Once it's done as well as you can make it, send it out to markets likely to buy it. For cash.

That idea looks like about a 7,500 word idea.

---------------------

The power of threes:

In Western society, Three (http://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Numerology.pdf) is a very powerful number. Look at all the things that come in threes. Ready, set, go. Three is the number of perfection. Three rings for the elven kings. The Trinity. The two wicked stepsisters plus Cinderella. Three wishes. Christmas Past, Christmas Present, Christmas Yet-To-Come. The Fates. The Wyrd Sisters.

Pretty much everything that doesn't come in threes comes in sevens. (Or nines, which is three threes. Or forties -- which means A Whole Bunch.)

These things are embedded deeply in our culture. If you use them, your reader won't know why, but your reader will think that this is right.

Hannibal:

Too young to be a writer at 23?

I started when I was twelve.

I sold when I was 35.

Everyone's path is different.

If you are sitting in your chair, making your fingers move on your keyboard, putting words on paper you are a writer.

What defines a writer is writing. Go. Write.

--------------------------

Chris: Your assignment is to take that very bare-bones outline and make it into a 7,500 word story by the end of the week. I grant you all rights.

You must write all the way to THE END. (If it turns out different from that outline that's okay!)

Lay it aside for a week.

Read it aloud.

Rewrite it for a week.

Send it to trusted friends for a week.

Revise it for a week.

Send it out (to paying markets only) until Hell won't have it.

That's your penance for making Bambi-eyes.

I have to go write another chapter in a fantasy novel set in the America Civil War, but before I go....

If you want one in Swedish, Främlingens Önskan (http://www.bokus.com/cgi-bin/more_book_info.cgi?pt=childrens-fictionchildren&ISBN=9132143346). I liked that one best of the entire series, though I liked the series quite a bit. That's the series that was based very formally on a six-pointed Celtic knot.

It's a short -- middle grades -- novel.

Here's another novel y'all might like: Uncle Joshua and the Grooglemen (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm]The Apocalypse Door[/URL].

You can find a short story I like very much here: [URL="http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/new_skies.htm).

Buy one! Better still, buy a dozen! They make excellent gifts!

Here, for free, a complete story: The Last Real New Yorker in the World (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/NEWYORK.HTM). It should be pretty obvious to you why it'll never be reprinted.

-----------------------

Want to see our Very First Short Story? It's in this book (Werewolves: A Collection of Original Stories (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0060267984/)). That was the first story we submitted, and the story sold to the first place we sent it to. (Okay, everyone, you can turn green with envy now.)

Want to see the first story I wrote after the Long Dry Period (between when I was 19 and when I was 30) when I wrote no fiction? It eventually got published here (Between the Darkness & the Fire (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=1880448564)). The story is "The Little Prune that Couldn't Talk."

It too sold to the first place I sent it ... it's just that I waited nearly twenty years to submit it.

a) Perhaps more appropriate in one of the "Share Your Work" groups.

b) We won't revise until after you've gotten to THE END.

c) Keep going.

It all turns to crap between first writing and reading. That's why you put the work in your desk drawer for a month after you've written it, to let it age and let all the crap drain off.

First posted here. (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=521.to pic&start=41&stop=41)

And recopied here.

----------------------------

From today's news:

She's a bestselling author -- at 15
Flavia Bujor's European hit now in America

Thursday, April 22, 2004 Posted: 11:37 AM EDT (1537 GMT)

NEW YORK (AP) -- After a few years of starting stories that never got finished, Flavia Bujor decided it was time she completed something.

So at the age of 12, she decided to write a novel. She was 14 when the book was published.

CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/books/04/22/teen.author.ap/index.html)

This is relevant in that a) publishing at an early age isn't impossible, but b) it's so rare that it's newsworthy when it happens.

So don't worry.

A couple of aphorisms:

Plot will get you through times with no style better than style will get you through times with no plot.

This comes from one of the smartest editors I know:

Plot is a literary convention. Story is a force of nature.

-------------------------

Literary tastes change.

Here are the best-sellers of the 1860s:

1860 Edward S. Ellis, Seth Jones
1860 Miriam Coles Harris, Rutledge
1860 Ann Stephens, Malaeska
1863 E.D.E.N. Southworth, The Fatal Marriage
1863 A.D.T. Whitney, Faith Gartney's Girlhood
1864 E.D.E.N. Southworth, Ishmael
1864 E.D.E.N. Southworth, Self-Raised
1865 Mary Mapes Dodge, Hans Brinker and His Silver Skates
1867 Horatio Alger, Ragged Dick
1867 Augusta Evans, St. Elmo
1868 Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Okay, of those you've seen a movie version of Hans Brinker, you've heard of a "Horatio Alger story" (without ever having read one), and you've read Little Women, right?

Look at the list from a hundred years ago:

1900 Mary Johnston, To Have and To Hold
1901 Winston Churchill, The Crisis
1902 Owen Wister, The Virginian
1903 Mrs. Humphry Ward, Lady Rose's Daughter
1904 Winston Churchill, The Crossing
1905 Mrs. Humphry Ward, The Marriage of William Ashe
1906 Winston Churchill, Coniston
1907 Frances Little, The Lady of the Decoration
1908 Winston Churchill, Mr. Crewe's Career
1909 Anonymous [Basil King], The Inner Shrine

Of those, you've seen the movie version of The Virginian and know one line from it ("When you call me that, smile"), and you've never heard of any of the other books or authors, right? (This Winston Churchill wrote historical romances set during the American Civil War and shouldn't be confused with Sir Winston Churchill, the British prime minister during WWII.)

Literary fame is fleeting; times change, tastes change, and the natural state of a book is Out Of Print.

Here ya go, guys: Bestseller lists (http://www.caderbooks.com/bestintro.html), 1900-1995.

How many of those books do you recognize? How many have you read? How many are still in print?

You know what might be an interesting exercise? Find and read one book from each year's bestseller list. Shouldn't take you over a year to do it, and it'll prove an education.

Each new chapter starts half-way down a new page.

---------------------------------

There are reasons you want to start half-way down a page.

First, the Official Reason: The big blank area allows the editor lots of room to write notes, instructions to typesetters, and so on.

Second, the Real Reason: If there are fewer words on the first page, it's less likely an editor is going to bog down and stop reading on the first page. Once you've got the poor bugger turning pages, you've got him.

-------------------------------

Next: Quick'n'Dirty Story Injection Technique.

For the next month, watch a movie every night. You can do this by going to your local video rental place and picking out movies you've never seen before (extra points if you've never heard of them, even more points if you pick genres you don't particularly like), or by going to a local multi-screen theatre at a random time and seeing the Very Next Movie Showing that you haven't previously seen. Big box of popcorn is extra. Checking the movie listings in advance looking for something you want to see is not allowed.

The idea here is to fill your head with Images and Story Fragments. These will slop around between your ears and come out in Story of your own.

Yep, story bits for critique should go in Share Your Work with a note and a link here.

See announcement here: b27.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm16.showMessage?topicID=397.topic (http://b27.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm16.showMessage?topicID=397.topic)

Chris's first bit plus commentary is here (http://b27.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm31.showMessage?topicID=270.topic) .

Geeze, qatz, when you did your market research did you look at Windhaven Press (http://www.windhaven.com/), Sherman Editorial Services (http://www.ses-ny.com/), or dymk productions (http://www.sff.net/people/lauraanne.gilman/dymk.htm)?

Fascinating info, Jeff -- and another reason to take great care when setting a story in a culture not your own.

----------------------------

Fun things:

Preamble to the Constitution, Diagrammed! (http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/diagrams2/preamble.htm)

The Pledge of Allegiance, Diagrammed! (http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/diagrams2/pledge.htm)

Those who are playing along at home can try diagramming (http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/diagrams/diagrams.htm) this stanza from A Visit from St. Nicholas:

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

---------------------

Oh, a reflected boast: Sales (http://www.sff.net/people/greg/vppubs.html) by some of our Viable Paradise students.

Though Cultural Information about China and Japan is no more relevant here than details of horsemanship might be.

You need to be aware of as many details as you can, and you need to stay as close to the truth as you can in your fiction, to give your readers the confidence that you, the writer, know what you're doing, and to avoid throwing readers out of the story.

Thus, if you have your character going to room 4 on the fourth floor of a Japanese building, you might have some reader throw your book across the room. You want to avoid book-throwing.

--------------------

The main thing that you need to do is be consistent. You can be consistent with the real world -- as in the examples given of Japanese house numbers. If you're writing fantasy or science fiction, you need to be consistent with your own creation, sufficiently that the readers will be aware that the hidden structures are solid.

It's not enough to be consistent. You have to be consistent with something.

The primary thing to be consistent with (and here is art!) is that you have to be consistent with your theme. Your book is a lie, through and through, but the theme is true. It's that truth the readers seek. The human mind seeks truth.

Knowing and keeping your theme in mind will provide the answers to plot questions as they arrive. The details will appear if you know your theme.

The theme also governs, and is governed by, the treatment. If you're writing a humor piece, and it isn't funny, it's lost. If you're writing horror, and it isn't scary, you're lost.

Here's another secret: Write your book as if every element, the characters, the plot, the story, the events, were literally true. Find a treatment (serious, humorous, detached, intimate) that best suits the presentation of the theme you're using. Make every detail consistent.

Make every plot point so clear that even the stupidest, most distracted reader will be able to follow it. Make every plot point so interesting that even the smartest, most involved reader will find it inherently satisfying. Be clear without being boring.

If you aren't consistent, the readers won't keep their suspension of disbelief. They won't live the illusion. They won't pick your book back up.

When one bearing burns out, the engine stops. Pay attention to the bearings. Your details are the bearings that the engine of your plot turns on.

There's even a term for putting too much of your research on the page: "I suffered for my art, and now it's your turn."

Keeping the rule that only words that reveal character, support the theme, and advance the plot belong in your novel should keep you from the worst excesses.

Research your characters, keep them consistent with your research, but (like the iceberg of cliche) 90% should never be seen.

No, no one came down from Mt. Sinai and said "Only one protagonist!"

At any given spot in your story the readers should have no doubt as to which character they're watching. That isn't to say that you can't have several of equal or nearly-equal importance.

As to parallel plots: Everything comes together at the climax.

Heck, I even did one novel with two separate stories, decades apart, told in alternating chapters, that only come together at the climax.

As to the main theme being obvious: All that matters is that it be there, that you know it, and that you stay consistent with it.

Glad your husband liked the pie.

Remember the master rule: You can do anything at all provided it works.

What "works"? Something that the readers accept. More than accept -- they approve with the sound of rapidly-turning pages.

I take it as a good sign.

That's a very good sign. When your readers keep turning pages because they can't help themselves, when they hand back the manuscript and ask, all on their own, "Do you have anything else?" then you're well up the road.

Up above I said: ...the readers should have no doubt as to which character they're watching..

This is because you, the writer, the artist, are directing their attention. The source of information, the source of interest, those are where you want the readers' attention to lie.

Here's your next assignment, everyone: Go to a professionally produced stage play. Watch to see how the director is directing your interest. Sure, there are other things on stage, other people on stage, at any given moment, but you'll find you're looking at one of them. Why? What are the clues?

[font=Verdana]Now, go see a top-line, critically praised movie. How does the director direct your interest? Why do you look at one part of the screen rather than another? Where does the information that you need to make sense of the climax come from?

Now, go see a professional magician do his or her act. How does he get you to look where he wants you to look? How does he achieve his effects?

Last, read a novel -- not just any novel, but a recent best selling yet critically acclaimed novel. How does the author direct your attention? How does the author get information across?

In all of these, I'm asking you not to watch these various performaces with your Joe-in-the-street eyes. Watch them with your writer's eyes. Watch to see the how, not merely the what. Yes, this may break the illusion for you. You aren't in the theatre to fall under the illusion, not this time. This time you're in the theatre to learn how to make the illusion.

You want to make illusions. Art is art. Art is illusion. Observe, learn, do.

Pay attention to the story-telling styles and modes. Use the information you learn from how others tell stories to make your own story-telling sharper.

Novels aren't movies, but movies are stories.

The address is now p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.to pic&start=1&stop=20 (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.to pic&start=1&stop=20)

I hope everyone updates their links. (And that includes you, Jenna -- the link to the Water Cooler on the Absolute Write front page is dead....)

Oh ... and if you just type in Learn Writing in Google, this thread comes up at the #1 hit.

I feel humbled by my success. I'd like to thank all the little people who helped me on my way ...

And that means that I have to come up with a nice substansive post Really Soon Now to justify the trust that y'all have demonstrated.

But first ... I have some galleys to do, for a story that will be coming out this coming October. It's a new adventure of a character we introduced in "Ecydsis" in the Otherwere (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/owercont.htm) anthology. (As of this morning Amazon only has 14 used copies available. Get one now before they're gone!)

(The story is "A Tremble in the Air" in Murder by Magic (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/murder_magic.htm), which isn't even listed at Amazon yet. I'll let you know when it's available.)

In The Unstrung Harp: or, Mr. Earbrass Writes A Novel (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0151004358) by Edward Gorey (a book that contains more truth about writing than any ten consecutive issues of Writer's Digest (http://www.writersdigest.com/GeneralMenu/) -- what do you mean you haven't gotten a copy yet?) we see Mr. Earbrass attend a literary dinner: "The talk deals with disappointing sales, inadequate publicity, worse than inadequate royalties, idiotic or criminal reviews, others' declining talent, and the unspeakable horror of the literary life."

What, then, are these unspeakable horrors?

I shall speak of them.

Elsewhere I've said that readings and signings and book tours rank slightly above oral surgery on the scale of Fun Ways To Spend Time.

Here are a couple of links you might look at:

A cartoon by Posy Simmonds (http://books.guardian.co.uk/posysimmonds/page/0,12694,1152704,00.html) (via the indispensable Making Light (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005104.html#005104)).

An article in The New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/14/books/14HUMI.html?ex=1397275200&en=1a6d0536eb304c28&ei=5007&partner=USERLAND&pagewanted=print&position=) (via the equally indispensable Scrivener's Error (http://scrivenerserror.blogspot.com/)).

Yes, readings and signings really are that bad. They take you away from your keyboard, which is where your major money-making takes place. The way to sell books is to a) write a book, and b) write another book. Suppose you have a really successful signing. You sell fifty books. Say these are $8.00 paperbacks, and you're making 10% royalties on them. You've just made $40, minus your agent's 15%, or $34. Which will get to you ... eventually. After the book's earned out, after reserve-against-returns has been met. In the next royalty period after that. A year? Two?

Did that pay for your gas to get to the store? Did that pay for the time you had to take off from writing? How about food and lodging? But really, it's a great Ego thing if you sell 50 books. You want to know what you'll probably get?

Nothing.

Bigger names than you or me have had no one show up to readings/signings. When John Grisham gets no one to show up (as he did in freakin' downtown Boston on one not-so-memorable occasion), where do you think we're going to fit on the food chain?

Want to talk about ego-killers?

So: survival tips.

First, do a joint reading/signing with another author. That way you'll have someone to talk to.

Second, put a bowl of Hershey Kisses on your table. That way people will come over to at least pick up some free candy. (Don't forget to subtract the price of that candy from your profits.)

Third, do your own press releases and publicity. Don't rely on the bookstore/your publisher to do that. (Subtract the price from your profits. Are we below zero yet?)

Next, when someone comes by and asks you about your book (or asks you for directions to another shop in the mall -- I've had that happen to me) don't tell them what your book is about. They'll say "I don't like [science fiction] [romance] [mysteries] [quirky literary masterpieces filled with wonderful insights into the human condition]." Instead, ask them what kind of books they like. Whatever the answer, find a way in which you can tell them that your book contains exactly those elements they mentioned. I'm sure you can do this ... novels have lots of different things in 'em, you're intimately familiar with your book, and you're creative. Go for it.

Okay, two more things for you to do:

Get and watch "Jose Chung's From Outer Space" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0751147/) (X-files) and "Jose Chung's Doomsday Defense" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0648238/) (from Millennium Season Two -- not yet available on tape or DVD). Those, too, tell the Truthiest Truth about being an author.

MacAllister

02-15-2005, 11:52 PM

James D Macdonald

Learn Writing With Uncle Jim

May 2004

I've got to go through this thread and correct all my links to other Water Cooler threads.

And ... I'd appreciate a chance to read over and edit the compiled Wit and Wisdom document.

What do y'all think of creating a book over at CafePress, just as an experiment?

(I don't much like PDF, because it's hard to search, and limiting in its presentation. I can convert Word to HTML pretty easily, and have a lot of room on my own web page, if it comes to that.)

This is CafePress (http://www.cafeshops.com/viableparadi,yog_1,yog_2).

They offer a Print-on-Demand (http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/sell/books.aspx) publishing option.

Let's say that the Uncle Jim book was 100 pages.

It would cost out at $9.50 for Wire-O binding, $8.50 for Saddle-stitch, or $10 for Perfectbound. Add in a tiny bit of profit for your humble narrator, and it's $9.15 retail.

Whether this would be Worth It to anyone, I don't know.

I'm not in favor of going over as a group, or of organizing at one website to go visit a community at another website, to argue with them. Now if someone wanted to issue a polite invitation to come over here?

What's the exact URL?
Now I haven't seen the discussion there -- but in general, you write the way you practice writing, and it's possible for someone to get bad habits, for some definition of "bad," writing in a particular genre or style.

I emphasize care in your writing, in choosing your words and images carefully so that they all lead in one direction and support one theme. But that's just me.

<hr>

Speaking of jealousy, here are some more Writers' Deadly Sins (http://books.guardian.co.uk/posysimmonds/page/0,12694,1201995,00.html).

Today in the Author's Toolbag, let's look at Dramatic Irony.

In Dramatic Irony, the reader knows something that the characters in the story don't know.

Let us turn, briefly, to the historical novel The Killer Angels (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0345348109) by Michael Shaara.

The scene is in the Confederate camp at General James "Old Pete" Longstreet's headquarters, on the night of 30 June/ 01 July, 1863. General George Pickett has come up to Longsteet with something on his mind....

In this quoted section, General Pickett speaks first:

...

"Well, sir, now I don't mean this as a reflection upon you, sir. But well, you know, sir, my Division, my Virginia boys, we weren't at Chancellorsville."

"No."

"Well, you know we were assigned away on some piddling affair, and we weren't at Fredericksburg either; we were off again doing some other piddling thing, and now they've taken off two of my brigades, Corse and Jenkins, and sent them off to guard Richmond--Richmond, for the love of God-- and now, General, do you know where I'm placed in the line of march? Last, sir, that's where. Exactly last. I bring up the damned rear. Beg pardon."

Longstreet sighed.

Pickett said, "Well, I tell you, sir, frankly, my boys are beginning to wonder at the attitude of the high command toward my Division. My boys --"

"George," Longstreet said.

"Sir, I must--" Pickett noted Longstreet's face. "Now, I don't mean to imply this command. Not you, sir. I was just hoping you would talk to somebody."

"George," Longstreet paused, then he said patiently, "Would you like us to move the whole army out of the way and let you go first?"

Pickett brightened. That seemed a good idea. Another look at Longstreet's face.

"I only meant, sir, that we haven't--"

"I know, George. Listen, there's no plot. It's just the way things fell out. I have three divisions, right? There's you, and there's Hood and McLaws. And where I go you go. Right? And my HQ is near the Old Man, and the Old Man chooses to be here, and that's the way it is. We sent your two brigades to Richmond because we figured they were Virginia boys and that was proper. But look at it this way: if the army has to turn and fight its way out of here, you'll be exactly first in line."

Pickett thought on that.

"That's possible?"

"Yup."

"Well," Pickett mused. At that moment Lew Armistead came up. Pickett said wistfully, "Well, I had to speak on it, sir. You understand. No offense?"

"None."

"Well, then. But I mean, the whole war could be damn well over soon, beg pardon, and my boys would have missed it. And these are Virginians, sir, and have a certain pride." It occurred to him Longstreet not being a Virginian, he might have given another insult.

...

We see lots of technique here -- notice the planting of information right, left, and sideways. This might be a deadly expository lump, or an As-You-Know-Bob, but it is saved by the use of dialog, and the chacterization that is being done for both Pickett and Longstreet.

We are in third-person limited in this scene -- we see Pickett's thoughts, not Longstreet's. Pickett is being portrayed as upset, and as not terribly bright. It is quite clear what Longstreet's opinion of Pickett is.

Lots of good stuff in that scene -- yet what I wanted to point up here was the use of irony. We see Pickett thinking that the war might be over without his men seeing action. But the readers of this book will certainly know that within three days most of Pickett's men will be dead, killed in the doomed hopelessness of Pickett's Charge. That is what adds the poignancy to this particular scene, what might otherwise have been a recitation of facts necessary for the reader to know, but which all of the characters would already be perfectly familiar with. Surely Pickett knows how many divisions Longstreet commands, and surely Longstreet knows where in the column Pickett's men are marching.

Without that use of irony, this scene would be out of place.

Pray notice how every word reveals character, advances the plot, or supports the theme.

What Kind of Writer Are You? (http://quizilla.com/users/edeainfj/quizzes/What%20kind%20of%20writer%20are%20you%3F/)

To what should be no one 's surprise, I'm a "Plot Writer."

WordPerfect? It should have a "Save As" entry under "File," where you can save as .RTF.

I use WordPerfect myself (ver. 10 -- I don't know if it'll read version 11 files).

On computer safety:

Zone Alarm freeware firewall (http://www.zonelabs.com/store/content/home.jsp)

AdAware freeware spyware removal (http://www.lavasoft.de/)

AVG freeware antivirus (http://www.grisoft.com/html/us_index.htm)

Popfile freeware spam filter (http://popfile.sourceforge.net/)

Grr! shareware registry protection (http://www.greyware.com/software/grr/)

Hints for writers:

The spell checker in your word processor doesn't relieve you of the necessity to proofread your flippin' text.

There, they're, and their are different words. Two, too, and to are different words. It's and its mean different things.

Outside the window she heard a redundant owl.

Can someone tell me just what the hey that's supposed to mean? There was one more owl than she needed? Guys, if you don't know what a word means, look it up. If you think you know what a word means, but it isn't a word you use every day, look it up.

========

On plot-driven vs. character-driven stories: I think all stories are both plot and character driven. The difference is in the mix -- some have more of one, some more of the other.

==========

You want characters? I got characters (http://www.black-ink.org/fightcrime.htm).
He's an ungodly albino cop whom everyone believes is mad. She's an orphaned thirtysomething barmaid from a secret island of warrior women.

Those are the characters.

They fight crime!

That's the plot.

=========

Together those make story.

========

Fresie, have you tried either the Positional Chess method or the Celtic Knotwork method of plotting?

For the chess analogy -- you don't need to play others. Work out the example games in Logical chess and understand why the moves are made.

========

Celtic knotwork (http://www.abbott.demon.co.uk/knots.html). Gracious. This is hard to do without pictures, but I'll try.

Construct a nice bit of knotwork, using your favorite method.

Let's do a nice linear border-kind of knot. It starts there to the left, runs to the right.

You have various walls (http://www.entrelacs.net/en.5.php) in place to make it interesting.

Now ... over there at the far right, is your climax, right? Who's there? Name the strands that pass through the climax with those people's names. I hope that you have two left-over strands, because we're going to name them for themes, one positive one negative (Honor/deceit for example).

Now color the lines back to the beginning, using different colors.

The opening scene will have those characters who arrive at the beginning (due to walls and such, some characters who were at the end may not arrive at the beginning. Add in different characters for those few).

Now, decide how long your chapters are going to be. Say you're doing thirty ten-page chapters.

Divided the braid into thirty segments.

Look at each segment. Which strand is on top? Which strands are mostly covered? Which are in the foreground? Which are moving most rapidly across the knot?

Those are your chapters, there is your focus, there is your motion.

Now, dream.

Dream, and type.

Someday soon, I may talk about how to use filecards.

Chris's story is here (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5319).

Yes. Every scene (not just the major ones, every one) needs to serve a purpose in your book.

You wouldn't glue a flowerpot to the hood of your car and tie a bedframe to the back bumper, just because you happened to have a flowerpot and a bedframe, would you?

Anything that fails to contribute to the story detracts from it.

Oh, Fresie -- that's just a little-bittie story outline. More a summary, really. Please, drop by my home page (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/) and pick out a book for yourself. (I've posted the first chapters from most of them.)

Uncle Jim, did you write all those books???

Yes, with my coauthor and beloved wife. As one of the characters says in The Price of the Stars (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0812517040), "It's all for sale."

My grandfather, Johan Esterl, owned one of the first movie theatres in Wisconsin. He'd been a publican; but when Prohibition was on the horizon, he invested in a nickelodeon.

The business did well. Every night he'd stand outside the theatre when the movie got out, shaking hands with the patrons.

"Good show, John!" folks would say.

"Better one tomorrow," he'd reply.

That's the something that's guided me. Give people entertainment. Give them a "better show tomorrow."

Folks, let's raise a beer to my grandfather.

He died before I was born, but all my life I heard about him, and nothing but good.
Several suggestions:

Break up the scenes. Every couple of pages, do a linebreak and switch to a more narrative-heavy scene.

Beware "blue screen work." That refers to actors working in front of a blue screen, where the special effects technicians will later add backgrounds, computer-generated characters, and so on. Don't have your characters working in an otherwise empty sound stage. You need to put in the backgrounds, bits of business, other characters, reactions, and so on.

Read your work aloud. At the point where you get annoyed with the endless dialog, the readers will be too. Put a checkmark in the margin there. Cut everything from that point on.

Find a novel by an author you admire. Find a chapter in that novel that contains dialog. Retype that chapter.

Look for the most telling lines of dialog. Use them to stand for the rest of the conversation.

There's no problem submitting books written in UK english to US publishers, provided you personally are from the UK and speak UK english like a native.

It's when Americans try to speak UK english and get it wrong that editors shake their heads in amazement.

American authors who write faux-Brit often miss things like jumper and torch even while using colour and kerb.

Be consistent with the language you're most familiar with.

If the story is sufficiently strong, the British usage won't matter. If the story isn't strong enough, a translation into American (missing some of the fine points there along the way) likely won't help.

If a publisher buys the work, and they decide to translate it into American idiom, they'll hire their own person to make the changes.

I defer to your expert knowledge, pdr.

I do know that British books that are reprinted in the USA are often "Americanized," and that it's not often the authors themselves who are doing it.

Okay, let's look at a scene.

First, the scene. Second, I'll try to explain word-by-word what I was thinking while writing it.

This is the opening scene from a short story. A bit over five hundred words, it goes three lines onto a third page in manuscript format.

Mrs. Roger Collins stood in the visiting room of her home. "Mansion" would have been a better word. The sun shone in through a bay window flanked by French doors. Filmy drapes kept the sun from bleaching the delicate cloth on the circular table in the center of the room. Spiced air from the gardens gently wafted in.

Mrs. Collins was expecting her friend Mrs. Frederick Baxter. She had something she wanted to talk to Shirley about. Last night the strangest thing happened. Mary Collins had known for years that the house was haunted, because there was a window on the second floor that would not stay closed if it wasn't locked. But last night, in the misty dark of twilight, while entering the upstairs guest bedroom, she saw the translucent shape of a young lady, and the apparition looked at her and she felt --

"Mary, dear!"

It was Shirley, being shown in by Mr. Collins. Mr. Collins had retired at the end of the war, and he had been very helpful during his wife's recent illness.

Mary had the tea things ready, and the tea itself, a nice oolong with a great deal of milk and sugar, occupied their time along with the small talk of doings in the town. Mr. Collins removed himself to his study. He had always played the stock market, and played it well. The war had left him wealthy, still quite young, for munitions had been greatly in demand. The prosperity that the whole nation now experienced made his investments more valuable by the day, while the contacts that he had across the nation gave him insights that perhaps other men didn't have.

Now was the time for Mary to tell the story, for that delightful frisson, in the bright afternoon.

"I'm sure you'll think I'm being silly," Mary said, "but I felt such a feeling of sadness coming from that woman. It was like a palpable wave. I gasped and took a step backward. Then I switched on the light, and she was gone!"

"You're so brave," Shirley said. "I'm sure I would have screamed and run."

"I was too surprised," Mary said. "And it wasn't until the light was on that I realized it wasn't a real woman at all; she was gone. She would have had to come past me to leave the room, you know. I looked under the bed and in the closet, and in the bathroom, but she was gone completely. It was only then that I realize I'd been able to see through her."

"You could? What are you going to do now?"

Mary's eyes sparkled, and she sipped her tea. "I thought it would such great fun to have a seance."

"Are you quite certain? I mean, if you felt this sadness ... that can't be good."

"She wants help, the poor thing," Mary said. "This is an old house. After all these years of opening the window, she's finally gotten to trust me enough to appear and ask for my help."

"What does Roger say about your plan?"

"Oh, I haven't told him. You know what a stick-in-the-mud he is."

Mrs. Roger Collins [Our protagonist] stood in the visiting room of her home. "Mansion" would have been a better word. [A bit of countersinking there for the benefit of the deaf old lady in the back row. Perhaps this was unnecessary. I might cut this from another draft, or I might not.] The sun shone in through a bay window flanked by French doors. [Simple description, to contrast with the fancier description that's coming in the next sentence. I'm trying to build a picture of the room.] Filmy drapes kept the sun from bleaching the delicate cloth on the circular table in the center of the room. [Lots of adjectives in that sentence, eh? The sun -- our scene is set in California, and our theme is bringing light to dark places (revealing secrets). Filmy drapes are ones that can be seen through. A mystery is obscured, but will be revealed. A character will later walk through those French doors. The table is the location of the seance that's being planned; its shape represents unity. Bleaching the tablecloth suggests that revealing the truth may not be a good thing. That the tablecloth can be bleached shows that it is not white -- it's not pure. That's the secret again, the mystery that will be revealed by the end.] Spiced air from the gardens gently wafted in. [That garden is the location of the climax. The secret is indeed a "spicy" one. It involves adultery, amongst other things. This room is an important location; other rooms in the house are described far less fully. Here the room must stand for the others -- the picture the reader gets will form a template for the rest of the house.]

Mrs. Collins was expecting her friend Mrs. Frederick Baxter. [Straight narrative, introduces a second major (but not main) character.] She had something she wanted to talk to Shirley about. [Lets us know that Mrs. Baxter also is her husband's property, that we're in a certain social millieu. Tells us the character's name (by which we'll know her for the rest of the story). I say "talk to" rather than "talk with" to show what the power relationship is between these two characters.] Last night the strangest thing happened. [Straight narrative, introduces the plot.] Mary Collins had known for years that the house was haunted, because there was a window on the second floor that would not stay closed if it wasn't locked. [Setting the genre. This is a ghost story, in addition to being a mystery. The window is a red herring, by the way, but it will give our characters something to think about and something to do while the rest of the plot works out. It will also motivate our characters to stand where they need to be standing for certain crucial developments later.] But last night, in the misty dark of twilight, [Hammering home the darkness/obscurity imagery; contrast with the sunny day (though the sun is obscured as well).] while entering the upstairs guest bedroom, [Another important location, used in the run-up to the climax] she saw the translucent [The clarity imagery again.] shape of a young lady, and the apparition looked at her and she felt-- [Oh, yes, indeed. Her feelings are very important in what is to come. But we aren't told just yet what those feelings were, because she thinks she knows them, but she really doesn't. I use the em-dash to show that the narrative is broken abruptly by the next bit of dialog. We're in third person limited, here, showing Mary's thoughts. The rest of the story will be in third person limited from the point of view of another character, who will be introduced in the next scene. This is the only time we'll be able to see our protagonist this clearly. We need to build up sympathy for her now.]

"Mary, dear!" [Dialog, breaking in on, and breaking up, that rather long narrative block we just had. Reinforces our protagonist's name. Reveals the charcter of the speaker.]
It was Shirley, being shown in by Mr. Collins. [Generally, it was is a weak opening for a paragraph. Shirley and Mr. Collins are major characters, but not protagonists. I don't want to take the focus off Mary Collins.] Mr. Collins had retired at the end of the war, and he had been very helpful during his wife's recent illness. [If I were doing this again, I'd have said the Great War rather than the recent war, in order to more firmly establish the time. That "recent illness" is very important, but I want to slip it by the readers. Sure, the clue's there, and it's on the very first page, but I don't want them to pick up on it yet. So, I put it in a weak paragraph that's also introducing Mr. Collins (the villain of the piece, as it happens).]

Mary had the tea things ready, and the tea itself, a nice oolong with a great deal of milk and sugar, occupied their time along with the small talk of doings in the town. [A busy, fussy sentence to show the frivolous nature of our main characters, and to contrast with what worse is to come. Reveals character, too -- these are tea drinkers (affected), who artificially sweeten their lives. The milk makes the tea very light and cool -- again the darkness/light secrets/truth theme.] Mr. Collins removed himself to his study. [Get him off stage, so we can get the rest of the plot rolling. "Removed himself" is affected -- we're putting on airs here. The sentence is otherwise quite plain, in contrast to the preceding one.] He had always played the stock market, and played it well. The war had left him wealthy, still quite young, for munitions had been greatly in demand. The prosperity that the whole nation now experienced made his investments more valuable by the day, while the contacts that he had across the nation gave him insights that perhaps other men didn't have. [More of Mr. Collins' character: "insights...other men didn't have" suggests secrecy (and he has a secret, oh my, yes). We talk more about the money he has ... he's nouveau riche. Perhaps he's a poser? I missed another opportunity to plant the timeframe here: Writing "greatly in demand in Flanders" would have done the trick. Someone who has made his money as a war profiteer is not exactly an admirable man. I'm trying to imply that he's not what he really seems, and is not a good person.]

Now was the time for Mary to tell the story, for that delightful frisson, in the bright afternoon. [Short paragraph, simple style, for contrast. The light imagery again. "Frisson" to show the class and style, and affected manner, of the characters. A weak opening on this paragraph, to contrast with the strong one that's coming, and perhaps make that one stronger than it otherwise would be by comparison.]

"I'm sure you'll think I'm being silly," Mary said, "but I felt such a feeling of sadness coming from that woman. ["That woman" is traditionally the name that wives give to their husbands' sweeties. Sadness, grief, woe -- yeah, we'll have that in spades before the end. Being silly? Yes, that's how Mary thinks of herself.] It was like a palpable wave. [Mary speaks in cliche. This to reveal character. She's shallow.] I gasped and took a step backward. Then I switched on the light, and she was gone!" [I'm hitting the light/dark truth/secrets theme again. Also moving the plot right along.]

"You're so brave," Shirley said. "I'm sure I would have screamed and run." [An ironic comment, when we learn what really happened, and see what will happen. Sets up the climax for the reader. Also reveals character.]

"I was too surprised," [You can say that again, sweetie.] "And it wasn't until the light was on that I realized it wasn't a real woman at all; she was gone. [Truth/reality light/dark knowledge/secrets. And a hint of the ultimate secret here. This sentence pulls a lot of freight.] She would have had to come past me to leave the room, you know. I looked under the bed and in the closet, and in the bathroom, but she was gone completely. [Yes, she's gone. If we want to talk about the young woman as being a character, no, she doesn't act in this story. But she's very important, as we'll see. It's important to me to show that she isn't really here, physically.] It was only then that I realize I'd been able to see through her." [The mystery will be revealed. I'm promising the reader that all will be made clear in the end. Making a deal with the reader -- go along with me, believe in ghosts for a minute, and I'll tell you what the reality is.]

"You could? What are you going to do now?" [Good questions. Get the plot moving.]

Mary's eyes sparkled, and she sipped her tea. "I thought it would such great fun to have a seance." [Good innocent fun. But toying with dark powers. All while holding that light, sweet tea. The sparkling eyes are for innocence. Innocence is one of the things that we'll lose when the revelation comes, when the light reaches the dark places.]

"Are you quite certain? I mean, if you felt this sadness ... that can't be good." [Listen to Shirley, Mary! Shirley is the reader's voice here. And she's right. It isn't good. But, if Mary doesn't have her seance this is going to be a very short story. So, holding the seance isn't such a very bad idea (waking the spirits of the dead, and possibly unholy things, isn't such a bad idea?) that we devolve into an idiot plot.]

"She wants help, the poor thing," Mary said. "This is an old house. After all these years of opening the window, she's finally gotten to trust me enough to appear and ask for my help." [Hoo boy is Mary wrong. That red-herring window shows up again. The rest of the story depends from this paragraph. It reinforces what's gone before, and sets up the rest. Very simple style, straightforward sentence construction. I want the readers to understand this one.]

"What does Roger say about your plan?" [Social construct: Mary is controlled by Roger.]

"Oh, I haven't told him. You know what a stick-in-the-mud he is." [But not that controlled. A deeply ironic statement, here, given what will be the final image of the climax. (Yes, mud is involved, and long thin things found in mud. Long, thin things that had been put there (stuck there, one could say) by Roger.]

[At this point we go to a linebreak. We never do see this promised seance, though we'll be told about it several times, and we will see a second seance in the same location with the same characters. The story resumes after the linebreak some weeks later and three thousand miles away, with a whole new character being introduced. Mary has a problem, a mild one. She wants to find out about the ghost. Working out that knowledge will take the rest of the story. We'll learn along the way that what she thought was her problem is nothing compared to what her problem really is.]

=====

I took the bit about the window that won't close as a signal that Mrs. C isn't very rational. She'll believe any New Age nonsense that occurs to her. The house must be haunted? Well, it's a big house, probably an old one. Things in old houses often don't work. If your window won't close, you don't call an exorcist, you call a carpenter. (This lady is wealthy, empty-headed, and bored. She's looking for some excitement.) Then she sees a ghostly figure - right, she's worse off than I thought.

This is exactly right. And the window is just a window that doesn't work properly. Mrs. Collins is, in fact, mentally unbalanced. That's her "recent illness."

"The sparkling eyes are for innocence" - I understood them differently. I thought they were for mischief.

This is also implied. It's a School Girl All American Nancy Drew Girl Chums Together kind of image. She's also doing something naughty -- she's planning to do something behind her husband's back.

Their ages can be whatever works for you. What Mrs. Frederick Baxter (named for the owner of the Baxter Building, where the Fantastic Four have their headquarters) does with her purse, and how she greets her friend (air kiss? handshake?) doen't move the story forward, so I skipped it. Imagine what you like, it won't affect the story I'm telling. She's named Shirley for Shirley MacLaine (believer in the supernatural) and Shirley Jackson (author of some spooky short stories, including one about a haunted house). Roger is Brit slang for sexual intercourse, Collins is a mild alcoholic drink. Mary is a very common female name, it also is the given name of both the Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalene (the prostitute).

Mr. Collins will speak, later on, when he meets the next character. Right now he's not important; he's being introduced to get him in the story, and moving around. He'll be on the last page; he needs to be on the first one. We meet Frederick Baxter, once, briefly, later on. He has exactly one word of dialog.

Stick-in-the-mud is also a good description of how Roger dies at the climax. There's a reason I used that phrase (which is also a cliche, further revealing character), as the last line of this scene. Last lines occupy positions of power.

This scene is from a story is called "A Tremble in the Air." It's forthcoming in Murder by Magic (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/murder_magic.htm)edited by Rosemary Edghill, Warner/Aspect, November 2004.

This story brought in $370. If the anthology earns out there will be royalties, but you can't count on that. After an exclusive period, I'll be free to attempt to re-sell it to other markets that accept reprints.

No agent was involved -- agents don't generally deal with short stories.

I picked this one for a couple of reasons. One, it's a recent story so I do remember what I was thinking at the time, and Two, it's a sole-byline story, so all the word choices were mine, rather than a co-author's.

This is the final draft of multiple drafts, of course. The first draft was sketchier. The material needed to support the climax wasn't there since all the details of the climax hadn't been written. Material was added, dropped, and moved.

In the manuscript, the first page break came after "...during his wife's recent illness." (By that point I need to have the editor so interested that he/she will feel compelled to turn the page.) In the book itself, the first page break will come after "... at her and she felt --" (By that point the reader should be so interested that he/she will feel compelled to turn the page.)

Yes, it's true. You really do have that little time to interest the reader. Anything that doesn't move the story forward holds it back. Writing -- storytelling -- is an act of co-creation with your readers. The readers always put in their own interpretations, add things that have meaning for them, ignore things that they don't care about.

I've left two perfectly good explanations for the events in the story, one occult, one mundane. The reader is invited to play with them.

Specifically, I took the window from The Amityville Horror, where it was supposedly a real example of haunting, and made it mundane.

Meanwhile .....

A good set of guidelines (http://www.bywaterbooks.com/mansub.html). I don't know how good the publisher is -- they don't mention little things like what they pay -- but they've got some great guidelines.

pdr:

Permission granted. Please provide URLs to my homepage and this discussion.

May I be so bold as to ask where you teach?

"It's the exposition, darling. I has to go somewhere."

First, from Shakespeare's Henry V, Act I scene ii:

CANTERBURY

Then hear me, gracious sovereign, and you peers,
That owe yourselves, your lives and services
To this imperial throne. There is no bar
To make against your highness' claim to France
But this, which they produce from Pharamond,
'In terram Salicam mulieres ne succedant:'
'No woman shall succeed in Salique land:'
Which Salique land the French unjustly gloze
To be the realm of France, and Pharamond
The founder of this law and female bar.
Yet their own authors faithfully affirm
That the land Salique is in Germany,
Between the floods of Sala and of Elbe;
Where Charles the Great, having subdued the Saxons,
There left behind and settled certain French;
Who, holding in disdain the German women
For some dishonest manners of their life,
Establish'd then this law; to wit, no female
Should be inheritrix in Salique land:
Which Salique, as I said, 'twixt Elbe and Sala,
Is at this day in Germany call'd Meisen.
Then doth it well appear that Salique law
Was not devised for the realm of France:
Nor did the French possess the Salique land
Until four hundred one and twenty years
After defunction of King Pharamond,
Idly supposed the founder of this law;
Who died within the year of our redemption
Four hundred twenty-six; and Charles the Great
Subdued the Saxons, and did seat the French
Beyond the river Sala, in the year
Eight hundred five. Besides, their writers say,
King Pepin, which deposed Childeric,
Did, as heir general, being descended
Of Blithild, which was daughter to King Clothair,
Make claim and title to the crown of France.
Hugh Capet also, who usurped the crown
Of Charles the duke of Lorraine, sole heir male
Of the true line and stock of Charles the Great,
To find his title with some shows of truth,
'Through, in pure truth, it was corrupt and naught,
Convey'd himself as heir to the Lady Lingare,
Daughter to Charlemain, who was the son
To Lewis the emperor, and Lewis the son
Of Charles the Great. Also King Lewis the Tenth,
Who was sole heir to the usurper Capet,
Could not keep quiet in his conscience,
Wearing the crown of France, till satisfied
That fair Queen Isabel, his grandmother,
Was lineal of the Lady Ermengare,
Daughter to Charles the foresaid duke of Lorraine:
By the which marriage the line of Charles the Great
Was re-united to the crown of France.
So that, as clear as is the summer's sun.
King Pepin's title and Hugh Capet's claim,
King Lewis his satisfaction, all appear
To hold in right and title of the female:
So do the kings of France unto this day;
Howbeit they would hold up this Salique law
To bar your highness claiming from the female,
And rather choose to hide them in a net
Than amply to imbar their crooked titles
Usurp'd from you and your progenitors.

Now read the same speech, translated into Damon Runyon-speak by Mike Ford. (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005174.html#47815)

paritoshuttam:

That was, I think, four drafts.

First, I get the big outline of the story down. I throw in lots of stuff while writing; later I'll remove things that don't turn out to be important.

If I mention some object in the opening, the readers will expect me to use that same object in a meaningful way at the end.

I look at the end to make sure that everything that's been used there has been adequately mentioned earlier.

I make sure the tension/action curve is moving in the right direction.

(Take that seance. I mention that it's going to happen, in the scene you read. Then comes a one-two-three: We hear about it, it's a description in a letter. This is lower-tension. Next we hear, it's being described verbally. Third seance scene: We witness a recreation of that seance, and watch it live, in person, right in the room. That seance forms the center point of the story; it's a breaking point, and from that we go into a brief valley, then swoop up to the top of the climax.)

Chris, is your story Absolutely Done, Ready To Send Out (all the steps I outlined finished)? Read by your friends, re-read and revised after a week in the desk drawer, all that stuff?

What I do for fun is my own business, y'know. Just because someone's become a major league ball player doesn't mean he can't knock a few balls around with friends at a picnic, right?

Here's Pericles, Prince Of Tired Plots (http://www.yarnivore.com/francis/archives/000367.html), The Skinhead Hamlet (http://www.sa.rochester.edu/drama/skinhead.html), and Romeo and Juliet Performed by Peeps (http://www.theplainjane.com/peep_plays/rj_scene01.html).

I'm not entirely sure you're interested in writing commercial fiction, Solitarely, so I'm not sure what help I can give you.

Once, many years ago (for reasons that seemed good to me at the time), I drove from Norfolk, Virginia, to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, without benefit of a map or pre-planning. I mean, Pittsburg is northwest of Norfolk. Head northwest and look for the signs. What's the problem?

Around about three o'clock in the morning, in (I think) West Virginia, at an all-night diner by the side of a secondary road, I asked the nice young waitress "How do you get to Pittsburgh from here?"

She thought a moment and said, "I'd take a plane."

You might think that most writers can handle the noun-verb part of writing and reliably produce grammatically solid prose. You'd be wrong. I see tons of stuff that is only written in English by the most generous standards.

You know how I keep saying that if you can produce two consecutive pages of grammatically-correct English with standard spelling that you're already in the top ten percent of the slush pile? Believe it.

The second thing is this: Newer writers have a hard time figuring out what is part of the story and what isn't. They haven't yet figured out how to cut away the non-essential. My harping on how anything that doesn't add to the story detracts from it is also quite true.

The last thing is this: The writer needs to get past the trite stories. The inconsequential stories. The ones where the reader says "Oh, yes -- been there, done that." The ones where the reader says, "So what?"

I've recommended Brust's The Sun, the Moon, and the Stars. That novel speaks directly to the sudden "ah-ha!" moment when you're no longer just putting down words but are suddenly writing.

The way to reach that "ah-ha!" moment is practice. Become fluid, become proficient. Work on more than one level at once.

But isn't that the hardest part for a new writer? To know what is "original"? It's very subjective. What makes an "alien invasion" or "murder mystery" story fresh and exciting or "seen that show before" dull?

Yep, it's the hard part. But ... if you can do the Grammatical thing, and you can do the No Waste thing, you're in publishable terrritory already. If you can get the Original thing as well, now you're in Consistently Publishable land.
You're mistaking surface appearance for originality.

Imagine chess sets. You know, you have your Staunton pattern chess sets. You have your Elves and Orcs chess sets. You have your Star Trek Enterprise and Klingons chess sets.

Those aren't the game.

The originality comes in the moves that those pieces make, not in what they're painted to resemble.

Chris (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5319)-- you've gotten it to a stage where you would, possibly, send it to an editor?

You re-read it after it sat in your cellar, and you think it's Pretty Good?

Okay, tell you what: mail it to me. .RTF attachment.

Yog@sff.net

No need to publish it to the net.

-- JDM

Chris:

.RTF is a file protocol. It stands for Rich Text Format. Your wordprocessor should have it as an option under "Save As."

The nice thing about .RTF is that any wordprocessor can open a RTF saved by any other wordprocessor and maintain formatting, and RTF won't carry macro viruses.

Some great advice here (http://www.highclearing.com/archivesuo/week_2004_05_09.html#005326). Although it's specifically about poetry, it's applicable to writing in general:

What would I recommend as far as "trying your hand?" Start by slavishly imitating poets you admire. This is the opposite of the standard advice that you need to concentrate on "finding your own voice." ... Your own voice will take care of itself as your craft matures. Your own voice will, if you're going to have one, insist on emerging. In the meantime, learn the craft.

Punctuation, yes. What do you want to know?

(Punctuation tells us when to breathe.)

Okay, here's a rule for you:

You are allowed one exclamation point per novel. Use it wisely.

No, Jules. I'm exaggerating. A little.

You'll need to hold a gun to each exclamation point's head and make it justify its existence.

A story is as long as it is. Make sure all your words are the right ones. When you have only the right words, and all the right words, then look for a market that accepts material like yours. All markets are looking for the right words; none are looking for the wrong words.

50K words is a novel. To be commercial -- is there a subplot that perhaps needs a bit of firming up to properly counterpoint the main plot? See if there's 10K of character development or theme that got slighted in the pruning, or was never written in the first place.

If not--50K it is, and start sending it out (usual cautions about beta readers, reading it aloud, and so on).

Meanwhile, you aren't excused from your requirement to spend two hours today writing original prose.

Um, what was the question?

Generally speaking, once you have a minimal competency in punctuation, it doesn't really matter.

Avoid total howlers. That's all you need do.

If you can tell a story, the pubisher will hire a copyeditor to fix your punctuation. You'll read over what the copyeditor did, pull out your "STET dammit" rubber stamp, and remove those "corrections" you don't agree with.

It's a non-problem.

Let me expand a bit.

Remember, while you're writing every day, you're reading every day, too. Professionally, traditionally, published works.

The best you can get your hands on. (Life is short -- too short to read another Xanth novel.)

You'll be seeing sentence structure, word choice, punctuation, storytelling, in action on a daily basis. You'll learn how it all fits together -- more so since now that you're writing you'll be more attuned to notice all the technical bits and pieces that make up the written language.

Do your reading, do your writing, and let nature take its course.

Modify it according to what's possible, for your situation, Chris.

You know yourself and your situation, best. For me, self-discipline is important.

I've already mentioned setting the alarm clock two hours early to make writing time. There's the lunch hour for reading a paperback. An hour of revision in the evening instead of TV. Saturday afternoon down at the seashore reading a chapter aloud to the gulls and waves. Make something you can live with.

Please, don't let anyone tell you that this isn't hard work. I'm sure you've heard that before, I tell you again that it's true.

Well, here's what you can do. Drop by a bookstore and pick up one of the high school Grammar Review workbooks with lots of sample problems in them. The SAT Prep books might do you. Find one that you like, read it, take the sample tests, review what you got wrong.

That's really all you'll need.

Thanks, Sonic.

The next book'll be even better.

Euan, without reading your work I don't have a clue.

Here's something that you can try, yourself, though.

Do you have a favorite novel, where you have great sympathy with the characters?

Read it with an eye toward how that author did the trick.

Hmmmmmm.....

Do your characters have lives? Perhaps you won't put those lives in your book, but do you know them?

The fellow who got killed. Who was his first girlfriend? Why did they break up? Where was his favorite vacation place? Did he have a pet when he was young?

Tell me more about your book, okay?

=============

Oh, yeah, one more thing: When readers tell you that there's a problem, they're almost always right. When they tell you how to fix the problem, they're almost always wrong.

Now: On using filecards.

Take a stack of filecards. Number them (I use upper left-hand corner) 1, 2, 3, ... and so on. These are chapters. They're major divisions. They're scenes. They're whatever you want them to be. You may have only two at first, 1 and 2, the opening scene and the climatic scene, only a sentence on each. It's okay, doesn't matter. You can ignore dialog at this point. You can ignore setting.

Now, between these cards, put other cards, numbered 1.1, 1.2, and so on. You put intervening scenes on these. Things that must happen after one event but before another.

Between 1.2 and 1.3, if you think of something that has to go there, put 1.2.1, 1.2.2 .... To any level you want. You will have the whole of your novel there, though you may not know all the details until the second or third drafts.

You are answering questions here: What happens next, and what does the reader need to know so he won't be confused?

One of the smartest editors I know says "Never tell the reader anything before he cares!"

Too much outlining can take the fun out of the writing. Too much outlining can substitute for writing. Only writing is writing. Thinking about writing isn't writing, talking about writing isn't writing, planning to write isn't writing. Outlining isn't writing.

After you're happy with the overall shape of your plot, that you've got the characters entering, doing things, and leaving, now's the time to type up a strong outline.

A strong outline may be dozens (if not scores) of pages long, and can resemble you telling a friend about a book that you read or a movie that you saw. You'll include the major scenes, and sparkling bits of description, you'll start to fill in dialog.

From this strong outline, write your novel. Some people, having written an outline, put it aside and write their books from memory. I can't say that's a bad thing.

After you're done writing of your novel comes revision. This is the smoothing, the sanding, the staining, the waxing, and the polishing of this thing you've created.

Here you do the Agricultural Work. If you have something in your climax, you need to make sure it was properly planted in the beginning. You add foreshadowing to the start and middle of your book.

You read your opening. If you have something planted in the begining that didn't sprout by the end, you need to root it out.

Your minor characters are characters.

That is, they have hopes, dreams, plans. When they die, those plans are cut short.

They are each the hero of their own stories. They don't know that they aren't the main character and are only there to move the plot along.

They also need to be motivated by something other than "the author said so."

I know this is a case by case question, but are there any general ways of making chapters interesting?

Interesting people in interesting places do interesting things.

Note the verb: "to do."

A character moves, either physically, mentally, or emotionally.

Short anwer: Stuff happens.

You want plot? You want interest? I got 'em both right here.

Observe Stuff Happening in the fifteen minute version of Troy (http://www.livejournal.com/users/cleolinda/99710.html).

See if you don't read to the very end.

Yes! Stealing this plot is Okay!

Jim, if your writing here has gotten locals bought a dozen of your books; two dozen, even; how many cents per hour does it come to?

Not a whole friggin' lot, Piano.

But I tell you what, guys. Yeah, it's nice that you buy my books. Really, I want you to. Dozens. They make excellent gifts. Don't forget to review 'em on Amazon, either.

But...

What would make me happier would be for y'all to get some of the other books and films I've been recommending right the way along in here. Really, not kidding, these works will explain concepts I'm trying to get across. I'm not recommending them just to fill space. Get 'em, read/watch 'em (or build the model), understand what I'm trying to say.

This is where the coach says "You get out of it what you put into it!" and all the players yell "Yeah!" and they go and beat the powerhouse school that everyone thought was going on to the State Championships, and the mysterious benefactor comes across with a huge donation so that Old Pivnich Tech can stay open rather than being sold to a real estate developer, and there's a happy ending when Billy and Sally (quarterback and cheerleader, respectively) pledge "We'll always be true!" and get married, the end.

Quitters never win! Winners never quit! Drat those torpedoes, just drat them!

(Notes on Billy and Sally: For a while, there, it looked like Sally was going to marry (or at least go all the way with) Sam, quarterback of the powerhouse school that everyone thought would win, but at the last moment she remembered that Billy was her true love, so she turned down Sam's improper suggestions, went back to the sorority house to put her BIC and write original prose for two hours, then scampered to the stadium during the final minutes of the Big Game in time to cheer Billy on so that he was able to make an 80 yard pass with just seconds left on the clock, winning the game.)

Meanwhile, get the books I suggested (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=101817&postcount=16) and read 'em.

Each passing day I only seem to realise what my novel lacks.

This is good. This is learning the craft.

==========

Some people have asked me how to track submissions. I know that there are some software packages out there (some quite pricey) that track submissions.

Let me tell you how to track submissions.

You have finished your book or story (and I mean finished -- all revisions done, ready to go).

Make a master copy of that story.

Put it in a file folder.

Make a list of all the markets you can think of that are suitable for this story. Start with the best market you can think of -- for whatever "best" means to you. (For me, "best" means most prestige/highest paying.) Each story may well have a different list.

Put these markets on a sheet (or two sheets, or whatever) of paper, ranked from first to last.

Put this sheet with the master copy of your manuscript.

Send out the manuscript to the first place on that story's list.

When the manuscript comes back (and it probably will), draw a line through the address of the publisher who just returned it, and send it that same day to the next place on the list. Continue until you have a line drawn thorugh every market on that story's sheet.

Have new markets opened up since you made the list? Try there. If no new markets, put that story to bed in your desk drawer for a minimum of one year, then re-read it with an eye to rewriting it.

Now, suppose a market writes back saying "yes" to a story. Circle that publisher's address on that story's sheet. Go to every other file folder you have, and put that market's address on your list, immediately under the last crossed-out address (provided it is a suitable story).

Suppose a publisher writes back with a rejection, but with the note "try us with your next."

Cross out that publisher on that story's sheet. Go to all or your other stories' sheets and put that publisher (provided it is a suitable market) directly under the last address that you crossed out.

Simple, easy, no problems.

The master copy of the manuscript is so you can photocopy a new one if the one that comes back is worn-looking, or if you are using disposable manuscripts.

What do I mean by "suitable market"? Don't send your hard-boiled private-eye stories to Little Bitty Bunny Tales magazine. Don't send "My Happiest Christmas" to Buckets of Blood magazine. You're still responsible for knowing the market.

Meanwhile, write another darned story.

A high-quality photocopy is indistinguishable from the output of a laser printer (they use identical processes).

We're not in the days anymore when photocopies turned out white-on-black, or when photocopies were on that dreadful slick paper.

You're making your photocopies from the master document each time, not submitting a copy-of-a-copy-of-a-copy.

So yes, photocopy submissions are allowable. With disposable manuscripts, even expected.

(When you're getting ready to send a manuscript back out, take a moment to run through it to make sure it still has all its pages, and no one's turned one of them upside down or something.)

(And yes, Courier does use less toner.)

Two things, paritoshuttam:

1) Write the full book and see how it reads. You can shuffle and reshuffle the order of scenes in second and third drafts.

2) As a general principle, only violate strict chronology for the very best of reasons.

<hr>
But I see the danger of going in a linear way--I am not able to build up the suspense, the anticipation.

That's what "foreshadowing" was invented for.

The Cask of Amontillado (http://www.literature.org/authors/poe-edgar-allan/amontillado.html) by E. A. Poe is an exercise in foreshadowing.

Take, for example:

The man wore motley. He had on a tight-fitting parti-striped dress and his head was surmounted by the conical cap and bells.

(Montressor is dressed as a fool; Fortunato fools him.)

"Come," I said, with decision, "we will go back; your health is precious. You are rich, respected, admired, beloved; you are happy, as once I was. You are a man to be missed. For me it is no matter. We will go back; you will be ill, and I cannot be responsible. Besides, there is Luchresi --"

"Enough," he said; "the cough's a mere nothing; it will not kill me. I shall not die of a cough."

or

"I drink," he said, "to the buried that repose around us."

or

"You are not of the masons."

"Yes, yes," I said; "yes, yes."

"You? Impossible! A mason?"

"A mason," I replied.

... but it's just such a BIG thing to approach.

One word at a time, one page at at time.

We were still calling our first novel "the short story" when we'd hit page 200. Talk about "unclear on the concept...."

From another thread [i][link is dead] :

What agents do:

You're hiring an agent for his/her expertise.

An agent:

a) Knows which editors are looking for what properties. The agent is better able to fit a given manuscript with the house most likely to offer on it,

b) Is able to negotiate a more advantageous contract, knows what's a good deal from a particular house,

c) Keeps track of money coming in, contract terms, reversions, and so on,

d) acts as a guarantor to the editor that the manuscript is worth reading, and is appropriate to the house; this moves the manuscript to a higher position in the to-read pile,

e) can arrange "auctions," which are a formalized form of simultaneous submission,

f) can make suggestions to improve your manuscript before submission.

The agent is a go-between, to handle the business end, so you and the editor can pretend that all you're interested in is art.

Note: The best agent in the world can't sell a bad manuscript.

More important: The best agent in the world won't even try to sell a bad manuscript. Editors know this. That's what makes the guy the best agent in the world.

A useful agent has sold books that you've heard of.

So ...

Take a book that you've read and liked. Find out who agented it. Write to that guy.

Where in New Hampshire? Waaaaaay up north. Think "Canada" and you're about right.

Hi, Julie --

Would you believe me if I said "I don't know?"

It really depends on your book. No one said your book even has to be divided into chapters.

Some rules of thumb:

A chapter is a comfortable length to read at one sitting. If your chapters are ten to fifteen pages, that works for a lot of people. Three-to-four page chapters give a feeling of breakneck pace, which might work for a thriller, or might not.

The question is -- where does the break feel natural to you?

A chapter ending contains a reason for the person who put the book down last night before he went to sleep to pick your book up, rather than watch TV, start another book, or play touch football.

Sub-plots -- as long as the reader isn't confused about where they are in the plot, anything you do is okay. Do not confuse the reader.

Your hooks don't need to be obvious at all. (Being too obvious can give your novel a rather Hardy Boys feeling.) They just have to be there.

Do you think that (generally speaking) the reader would feel somehow cheated if, by the end of the story, the 'bad' from the beginning becomes 'good' too (only that a different kind of good ), and the initial 'good' moves towards 'bad' (from a different perspective than that at the beginning).

Well, golly. You've just described the theme arc in the first three of our Mageworlds (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/mageworl.htm) books . (Buy one! Bettter still, buy a dozen! They make excellent gifts!)

Or, as someone else (my beloved co-author, to be precise) once said: "The conflict of good vs. evil is all very well, but if you want to make your characters squirm, try the conflict of good vs. good."

Is all foreshadowing that subtle?

It certainly can be. The entire atmosphere of your book is an artistic space that you create, where everything points to its end. You are responsible for providing the information to the readers, though it can be in very small ways.

When I make a stew I don't dump in the entire box of salt.

Isn't it possible to be too subtle?

Sure. It's all possible. This is why we call this particular trade an art.

If this were a science we could look up a table that would tell us how much and what kind of foreshadowing to use.

Write ten to fifteen pages per day, and you'll have ten novels per year.

See how easy it is?

On the other hand, The Killer Angels (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0345348109) uses tons of internal dialog and none of it is italicized.

So ....

Be consistent with yourself, and see how it reads.

If anyone was thinking of applying to the Viable Paradise Workshop (http://www.sff.net/paradise/), the deadline is about three weeks away.
<hr>
If you aren't into a week-long workshop, I'll be at Writers' Weekend (http://www.writersweekend.com/) in Chicago, 17-19 June, 2005.

MacAllister

02-16-2005, 11:50 AM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim
AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler

June 2004

1. Rewrites: This question was asked a couple pages ago, but I don't think it was ever answered. When you *re*write, do you take a pass through on each issue individually (e.g., one pass for scene order, then another for adequate description, a third for consistant characterization, etc.) or do you smooth over the rough edges on *everything*, one pass at a time?

Sometimes this, sometimes that. Use whatever method works for you. You're going to be re-writing your story a lot of times. You won't let it out of the house until all of those issues are covered. What order you do them in, one at a time or all together, will be invisible to your readers.

2: On agents: It seems like very few markets in my chosen genre (SF/F) accept unagented manuscripts. Meanwhile, most agents want a only query letter, and no one reads manuscripts any more. So it seems like a case of "you need an agent to get a book published, but you need a published book to get an agent." Comments? Do I need to pay my dues by writing short fiction first? Or am I mischaracterizing the issue?

Having an agent isn't necessary in order to get a novel published, but it helps. Being published isn't necessary in order to get an agent, but it helps.

The one thing that's truly required is having an outstanding manuscript. If by "paying your dues by writing short fiction" you mean "practicing enough so that your manuscript will shine," then do so. The one thing you must have is that manuscript.

3. Bios: I have plenty of credentials, just none related to fiction writing. Am I correct in assuming that no one cares, and my bio is essentially a blank sheet of paper? What is relevant, in the fiction world?

What is relevant in the fiction world? If your story is about a gerbil breeder, and you breed gerbils, then say so. Otherwise, who cares about those furry little rodents?

What is relevant is a) recent, impressive sales, and b) life experience directly related to your current story.

4: Slushpiles: I've heard plenty of stories, here and elsewhere, about the awesome lack of quality found in slushpiles. But are there ever any gems? Uncle Jim, have you ever found anything worthwhile in a slushpile? Or, rather, the real question is: how often do publishers actually publish out of the slush?

Yes, I have found stuff in slush piles that has gotten passed up the line. If there's ten pieces of crud for every good story or ten thousand pieces of crud for every good story it doesn't matter if you've written the good story.

Think about it this way: with the exception of people like Paris Hilton, absolutely everyone you see on the shelves came out of one slushpile or another. (And Paris Hilton didn't write her own book; the acutal author started out in a slushpile somewhere.)

5: On writing: A question on the passive voice. I know that active verbs are preferred. However, I come from a background in technical writing, where the passive voice is often used, and I try to be conscious of my own use of active versus passive. There are times that the passive voice just sounds better to me; however, I'm suspicious of my own sense of the matter. Can you give some examples of situations in writing where the passive voice is preferred, or is it always verboten? Or, used in moderation, is it a style issue?

It's a style issue. This is where reading a lot of current fiction will help you. This is also where retyping published fiction will help you.

My inclination is to do the following: Use Trumble for all references, until my heroine is permitted to use Harry, then use Harry for the heroine’s and author’s POV, and only use Trumble in the other characters’ dialogue.

You might find it interesting to read The Karamazov Brothers (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0192835092) by Fyodor Dostoevsky. You'll find the characters calling one another by a wide variety of names, from very formal to very informal.

Have a plan, be consistent. Your readers are your friends.

For what it's worth, Doyle and I did exactly the same trick with names in The Stars Asunder (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/TSAHEAD.HTM) and A Working of Stars (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/awoshead.htm).

I kinda think it worked.

What do you guys think about speed writing?

You mean this (http://www.writing-world.com/basics/block4.shtml)?

Me, I'm a fast typist. I'm very much in favor of keeping your fingers moving on the keyboard at all times.

Generally speaking, anything that helps you get words on paper is a good thing.

I'd take any beta readers I could get. Sometimes people who hate the genre will give you the best, most insightful comments.

I wouldn't prep them in any way. (You won't be prepping the readers in the bookstores, will you?)

The only guidelines I'd give them would be "please be honest."

Regardless of what they say, thank them. And mean it.

If you're looking for readers outside of a narrowly defined genre, you have to look at all readers and all expectations. Think of Michael Crighton in contrast with Uncle Orson: Card's books may be objectively better SF, but Crighton reaches tons more readers.

Go, and write your book.

Do it now. Come back when you have ten original pages or two hours of new writing.

The reason we're called "writers" is because we write.

That's wonderful, Yeshanu.

Once the words are on paper we can play with them.

Speaking of which, I'm planning to play with some words later on tonight. Everyone's invited.

Way back here (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=102353&postcount=17)we started writing a story, sort of on a bet, sort of on a dare. Sort of as a learning experience.

Now the story is written.

Shall we play with it some, at least the first scene?

I think we shall.

Remember, this is just black marks on a white page (or electrons making phosphors glow on a screen). It's not about the author, it's about the words.

Discussion/rewriting of this story will take place in the Share Your Work (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-5319.html) forum.

'Said' is invisible.

The way a person says something should come to the reader from their understanding of the character, the circumstances, and the words the character is saying.

Many times 'said' itself isn't needed -- just sprinkled in often enough that the reader doesn't get lost.

Now ... having said that ... English is a wonderful language with lots and lots of words. If it's necessary to your story, yes, absolutely, use some word other than said. Just be sure that it's necessary, and not caused by not-as-well-written-as-possible dialog.

(Beware of adverbs combined with "said," lest you wind up with a Tom Swiftie: "My headache is gone," Tom said absentmindedly.)

===========

Let me quote from a book review I wrote a long time ago:

I choose now, at random, page 253. Here are the "said" words, in order:

* "Belano whispered,"
* "Wareagle reported,"
* "McCracken muttered,"
* "rasped Sal,"
* "Wareagle said."

Finally got one. I was hoping for a shutout. Oh, well.

Alas, it must be late.

A Tom Swiftie is unintentional humor:

"I love hotdogs," Mandy said with relish.

"The prisoners are coming down stairs," said Tom condescendingly.

"My frog is dead," he croaked.

=============

(But yes -- don't you find meaningful description better than shortcuts? You're the author; you should do the work, not force the long-suffering reader to do it.)

(This doesn't mean that longer descriptions are better than shorter stuff. Depends on the mood you're setting, and your style.)

As noted above, if you type Learn Writing into Google, you get this thread as your top result.

So I'm kinda interested in the nigritude ultramarine (http://www.dashes.com/anil/2004/06/04/nigritude_ultra) challenge.

Has anyone of you guys ever submitted the usual '3 chapters and synopsis' even if the whole novel has not been finished yet?

I do it all the darned time.

Is this just asking for trouble?

Depends. Are you a first-time author, or do you have a long track record of writing publishable novels and hitting deadlines?

To bring together in one place various of my comments from other threads:

============

I'd say that a tiny bit of creativity combined with a willingness to sit down and do the work will beat the heck out of gobs of creativity combined with a dilettante spirit.
___

Practice doen't help a bit if you're practicing mistakes over and over again.

___

Practice helps if you're improving, if you're thinking about what you're doing, if you're reinforcing what works and suppressing what doesn't.
___

I've run into writers who've written their million words, whose millionth word was as cruddy as word one. Mere typing doesn't teach; seeking feedback, and taking it, may.
_______

-- Age, Experience, and Writing (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-7202.html)

=========

I know, "Keep a journal" is almost universal young-writer advice. It's almost always a waste of time, too.

Taking Notes on Life [This link is dead]

============

Many (most?) bestsellers are soon forgotten. Check out the bestseller lists from half a century ago. How many have you even heard of, far less read?

"Bestseller" is a genre as much as "romance," "western," or "mystery" is a genre. You'll find poorly written bestsellers in exactly the same way (and I suspect the same proportion) as you'll find poorly written horror novels, military novels, or lawyer novels.

"It's crap but we sell a ton of them" is itself a genre, and a particularly hard one to break in to.

Remember Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud.
==========

As we get older, as we read more books, works that once might have seemed fresh, new, even daring become "been there, done that."

It's the down-side of experience.

==========

Traditionally published authors get their families, friends, and mailing list to buy their product. Vanity authors aren't the only ones who use that business tactic.

Sure, and Scientologists are required to buy a certain number of L. Ron Hubbard's books to keep them on the best seller lists.

I think it's pathetic all the way around.

On the other hand, if y'all want to buy my books (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/), please feel free. (This isn't to put any of 'em on any bestseller lists, it's because I think they're dandy books, and I want to be read. Buy 'em used if you like. Cheaper for you that way.)

Best sellers [dead link]

<HR>

All it takes to make your manuscript "solicited" is that you sent a query letter and they said "Sure, send it along."

Even for the ones who say "no unagented," all that's happened is the location of the slush pile moved, from the publisher's office to the agent's office.

There's even a category called "agented slush." That is, submissions from agents no one's ever heard of.

Slush happens.

______

A bad agent is worse than not having an agent at all.

A useful agent is one who has sold a book you've heard of.

Here's an interesting article (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004772.html).

(Note: that site is semi-broken. If all you see is a bunch of ads and "loading" in the top bar of your browser, click on the "back" icon on your browser until you see text. If the text ends at the bottom of the ads, press your F11 key twice. That should get you the rest of the text.)

_____________

"How long does it take?" is out of your hands.

Instead of giving yourself an ulcer, write another book.

____________

Speaking of "unknown agents" it's not unheard-of for writers to print up some nice letterhead as the "Morning Dew Literary Agency" or summat, and submit their own works as if they themselves were an agency.

Sure, that gets 'em past the "no unagented manuscripts" hurdle, but it still puts 'em in the "agented slush" pile.

Need I say that this is a terrible idea?

____________

The agent is for your next book, and the book after that. The agent is for your career.

And ... for the book you just sold ... sure it's sold, but the contract hasn't been negotiated yet. The agent should be able to get you better terms on the deal you've just been offered. The agent will also track rights and royalties, and resell this work after it reverts.

Look, agents aren't required. But they sure are nice to handle the business end of things.

_________

If bad writers could sucessfully fake being good writers, they wouldn't be bad writers.

___________
-- <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessage?topicID=588.topic" target="_new">Why slush piles?</a>

<HR>

There are only seven (some say eight) plots in the world.

The differences come in how you combine them, and what furniture you put around them.

For you next assignment:

Read:

Red Harvest (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0679722610) by Dashiell Hammett

Watch:

Yojimbo (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Yojimbo/Toshiro-Mifune/e/715515020824/)

A Fistful of Dollars (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/A-Fistful-of-Dollars/Clint-Eastwood/e/027616785824/)

Miller's Crossing (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Millers-Crossing/Gabriel-Byrne/e/024543073833/)

Last Man Standing
(http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Last-Man-Standing/Bruce-Willis/e/794043450723/)
Compare and contrast. How are the plots similar? What makes these stories different?
______

Another axiom:

All art is in conversation with other art.

Our own works are commentaries on the works we've read.

_________

Man against man, man against nature, man against himself, and man against God.

The other plots are: "The Brave Little Tailor," "The Man Who Learned Better," and "If This Goes On (or, "What If"). Some say "Reader, I Married Him" is the eighth plot.

__________

-- <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessage?topicID=594.topic" target="_new">Plot problems</a>

=========

When I see a manuscript with a copyright notice on it, dated ten or twenty years ago, believe me, it doesn't give me a happy feeling.

In any case, copyright exists from the moment the work is fixed in tangible form. All that registering buys you is the ability to go for punitive damages.

The books that get plagairized are the ones that are already published. Unpublished manuscripts ... I think I've heard of it happening. Once.

(I know that you hear wild stories of unscupulous agents kidnapping hapless slush manuscripts and selling them to pirate presses in Shanghai. I find this hard to believe for two reasons: First, if the unscrupulous agents were able to sell anything they wouldn't need to be unscrupulous, and second, why would the pirates want to print unedited slush by Joe Noname, when for exactly the same cost and effort they could print a Dean Koontz or Stephen King book?)
<hr width="50%">
I think that most editors who see a copyright notice on an unpublished manuscript say "What a maroon!" or words to that effect, and read the story however far it carries them.

I'm not saying that there aren't folks who are offended. But it's probably an insignificant number.
_________

You sometimes put rights for sale on a short story, but not on a novel.

Me, I only put rights for sale on a manuscript if some of the rights have already been used. There are lots and lots of rights you can sell, all to different markets. First North American Serial rights. First World Anthology (Exclusive of the British Commonwealth) rights. Exclusive Reprint rights. Non-exclusive Reprint rights. Dramatic rights. Electronic rights. Serialization rights. Back-of-the-cereal-box rights. Printed on cupcake wrapper rights.

If the story's never sold anywhere before -- it's all for sale. The contract you sign should specify exactly which rights the publisher is buying. And in this -- like everything else -- it's all negotiable.
___________

I didn't know there were "Harry Potter" cupcakes!

If there aren't that'll mean that someone at Scholastic missed a marketing opportunity.

Oh, and the best seller list? Been there. That and $2.50 will get me a double-shot mocha latte.

(Actually, there isn't a "the best seller list." There's lots of best seller lists. USA Today. New York Times. Locus. The Picayne Press. Lots and lots of best seller lists. You're not half doing your job if you can't honestly put the words "best-selling author" on your second book. If you have half-way decent distribution you'll be on someone's best seller list.)
___________

-- <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessage?topicID=586.topic" target="_new">Copyright</a>

========

...does that mean you write them all simultaneously?

Well, yes.

These are other things that are going on at the same time as the main action, that are supporting, or contrasting, with the overall theme of your book.
<hr width="50%">
-- <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessage?topicID=589.topic" target="_new">Subplots?</a>

<HR>

Anyone following this discussion who hasn't yet read (The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0425176517)) by Agatha Christie needs to go out and do so now.
------------------------
"Withholding information" isn't necessarily a good plan either. We're trying to give information to our readers. We go out of our way to make sure the readers have the information. Information is what the readers are using to create pictures in their heads.

If you want to conceal something from your readers, tell them, but put it in a low-interest place, or mixed in among other things.

I recall reading a thriller some years back. In this book, the protagonist's sister is having a torrid love affair with a US Senator named "Sam."

It wasn't until sixty pages later that the author revealed that "Sam" is short for Samantha, and the Senator is female. Woo! Good job, author! I've now got to mentally re-cast sixty pages-worth of the pictures I'd drawn in my head.

Never mind that every single character in the book would have known Sam's gender, the author decided to conceal it from the reader in order to carry out some surprise or another.

That was the point where I threw the book across the room.
<hr width="50%">
-- <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=579.to pic&start=1&stop=20" target="_new">Confident but Confused Protagonist</a>

<HR>

I have to agree with aineg -- word choice and sentence rhythm can take you farther than dialect will.
<hr width="50%">
-- <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=552.to pic&start=1&stop=20" target="_new">Phonetic Dialog</a>

<HR>

I've gone the made-up pronoun route in a story where we had three genders. (The third one was "ne.")

I've also gone (in a novel where a biologically female character went disguised as a male for big chunks of the story) with she/her when she was dressed and acting as a woman, and he/his when she was dressed and acting as a male.

If you really want to use the correct unknown-gender singular pronoun in English, it's they/their.

(If anyone wants a hotdog they can come over here.)

Before anyone gets their panties all bunched up, "they" has been a perfectly acceptable singular pronoun since Geoffrey Chaucer. Shakespeare used "they" as an unknown-gender singular pronoun, Edmund Spenser used it, Jane Austen used it, George Orwell used it. It's only the silly prescriptive-grammarians who think that "they" can't be used as a singular pronoun.
<hr width="50%">
-- <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessage?topicID=581.topic" target="_new">androgenous characters and pronouns</a>

<HR>

Don't even think about revising until you have 300 pages or "the end," whichever comes last.

You won't know what you have until then.
<hr width="50%">
You'll find your style. Style is what you can't help doing.
<hr width="50%">
-- <a href="http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessage?topicID=577.topic" target="_new">Changing Gears</a>

Uncle Jim, I'm just a beginner, newbie, first timer, hopeful and persistent aspiring writer Is it a different story then?

Finish your book. I mean finish it. All the writing, all the re-writing, all the revising.

Only then should you think about trying to market it. Until the book is done you may not even know what your first three chapters are.

Improve your chances for Friday night... (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=583&ncid=583&e=1&u=/nm/20040607/od_nm/media_penguin_men_dc)

...85 percent of women said a man could increase his chances of getting a date by talking about a favorite book.

Y'see, Liam, when you're a best seller you can get a double shot mocha latte for only $2.50.

Another reason to write that book....

Critters is a pretty good group by all accounts.

You could also ask your local librarian if there are any off-line workshops around. Librarians tend to know that sort of thing.

Workshops aren't for everyone, but you might give it a try.

Find new beta readers -- ones who are willing to tear you apart.

Develop your own critical instincts, too. Look at your writing carefully.

And -- you know something? I can't read long blocks of text on screen either. I print stuff out double-spaced, work on it in hard copy, then comment on-line, when I do that sort of thing.

Okay: Titles.

I've been thinking of creating an Authors' Title Generator, which would run on your computer, and which I could sell to aspiring authors for $449.95 (plus tax). It would come in a very attractive box.

What it would do would be ask you a number of questions about your book, then ... you click on the "Title" button and it ignores what you just typed in. It just prints out a random line from Hamlet. (Coleridge, and the various Restoration poets also give good title.)

===

Either a title will come to you, or one won't. The editor is going to change the title anyway, so this doesn't matter much.

If the editor is discarding manuscripts based on the title alone ... I pity da fool. His loss.

===

On Red Harvest, sure, we can have a discussion. (Probably in its own thread. Is this the best board for it?)

So does that mean you can submit an ms without a title - and it will still go over well?

Nah, it means that you'll just have to slap a few words at the top of the manuscript so you'll have something to put in the running header.

Free titles:

More Native to the Heart
My Virtue or My Plague
No Wind of Blame
What I Do to the Grass
An Erring Lace
Caverns Measureless
This League of Blood

A title should be:

1) Easy to spell, and
2) Not embarassing to say out loud.

Beyond that, make it something meaningful to you. Or not.

The editor is expecting around 5,000 words of active prose, single spaced, present tense, that tells the complete plot of the book with the major characters and major plot points fully laid out, including the surprise ending.

Think of someone telling his pal about a moive he saw last night. That's the sort of level of detail that you're going for.

Me, I don't use the apostrophes. But remember that an apostrophe doesn't mean possession -- it means that one or more letter was left out. (In the case of possessives, the letter is 'e').

Call it "speculative fiction," and give the titles of a couple of books with the same look-and-feel....

Another neat toy: An ISBN Checksum Calculator. (http://www.morovia.com/education/utility/upc-ean.asp)

Simple things amuse me.

All that "no unsolicited manuscripts" means is "send us a query letter first."

Yes, they still have slush piles. (If nothing else, then for the agented slush.)

For publishers that accept unsolicited manuscripts (John Wiley, for example), check Writer's Market.

Many (most?) small presses accept unsolicited manuscripts.

Think you can add that material in one paragraph in the Chapter One part of the synopsis?

Three days later she still hadn't turned up....

Need I mention that in the right story, at the right place any one of those sentences could be the absolutely right one?

This is not a science, measured with stopwatch and micrometer. This is an art, an art where the one rule is "It works."

Happy Bloomsday.

Who knew it would be this easy (http://members.ozemail.com.au/~imcfadyen/notthenet/fantasy.htm)?

... to do while you're avoiding writing:

Fold a paper pressman's hat.

hotlinecy.com/images/hat.pdf (http://hotlinecy.com/images/hat.pdf)

Notice that the instructions are given in terms of publicity.

(Further note: If you get a big enough sheet of tinfoil the same instructions can be used to make a tinfoil hat that will keep the CIA mind-control satelites from taking over your brain. Very handy!)

(Further further note: We had a novel wherein one of the characters used silver foil to fold a hat to keep vampires from reading his mind. Hunters' Moon (http://www./cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0425143627). Buy one -- better still, buy a dozen! They make excellent gifts....)

(Further further further note: This is the same hat that the Carpenter is wearing in the classic illustrations by John Tenniel (http://www.victorianweb.org/graphics/tenniel/lookingglass/4.4.html) for "The Walrus and the Carpenter." Isn't (http://margosdolls.com/images/Walrus-Carpenter.jpg)literacy (http://www.pixieland.co.uk/pages/images/moorlandmini/onseat.JPG)fun (http://www.mt.net/~atelling/Graphics_for_Articles/Walrus_and_Carpenter/second.jpg)?)

(Today's assignment: After you've folded your paper hat, wear it, and while wearing it memorize "The Walrus and the Carpenter." (http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/walrus.html) (You didn't think you'd get off easy, did you?))

Julie, what can I say but write the book and see if it works?

Four or five paragraphs -- if necessary you can set 'em in italic.

If the information is only necessary at the end, you can put those four or five paragraphs pretty much anywhere before the end.

As you write the book, consider other places to put that info. But until you reach "The End," there's really no way to tell what's right.

(Asking your readers to hold that info in mind for the entire duration of the book ... I dunno. See what your beta readers say. When they reach the climax have they already forgotten what was in that brief lead-in?)

Is the scene, all on its own, memorable, interesting, and fast-moving?

I don't know any of those things. You do.

Without further ado, take it away, New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2004/06/11/nyregion/11impeach.html?pagewanted=1)!

HARTFORD, June 10 - A state employee and longtime confidante of Gov. John G. Rowland solicited a $32,000 loan from the nonprofit foundation that supports the governor's residence so the governor's wife could publish a children's book, "Marvelous Max, the Mansion Mouse," according to documents released on Thursday by the House committee investigating whether to recommend impeaching Mr. Rowland.

The foundation's lawyer rejected the idea as inappropriate. But the chairman, Wilson Wilde, later wrote a series of personal checks totaling more than $41,000 to have the book illustrated and published. In a telephone interview on Thursday, Mr. Wilde said that at the time he expected profits to benefit both Patricia Rowland and the Governor's Residence Conservancy.

...

According to an affidavit submitted to the committee by John Tucker, president of Norfleet Press, the book's publisher, the book has not even sold enough copies to repay Mr. Wilde in full. "No profits have yet been made and I would be happily surprised if there were any profits in the future," he wrote.

Wow. You can't buy publicity like that. (Or maybe you can.) She did everything she could, went and did the bookstore signings (http://www.justbooks.org/holiday_catalog/page_4.htm) like she was supposed to, did the whole Published Author thing. But it wasn't enough to earn out. So, guys, who wants to step up and help out Mrs. Rowland, poor old Mr. Wilde, and the nice folks at Norfleet? Buy a copy of Marvelous Max, the Mansion Mouse (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0964993449/) now! (Soon to be a collector's item.)

The illustrations are really nice (they're by Wendy Rasmussen).

So.... I guess publicity isn't everything, is it?

Is there any hope for us mere mortals?

Yes. Every single published writer I know started in the same place -- as Joe Nobody in the slush pile.

The difference between them and, say, Mrs. Rowland, is that they did the work.

No amount of celebrity or publicity will overcome a poor book.

Rather than "paying her dues" by opening a checkbook (or a political sycophant's checkbook), Mrs. Rowland should have paid her dues by learning how to write.

There are some things money can't buy, and the respect of your audience is one of those things.

MacAllister

02-18-2005, 03:30 PM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim
July, 2004

Did ya miss me?

Time to start catching up....

I'd use Metric if the character would think in metric, English if the character would think in english. This is a chacterization problem.

Do you know how Canada got its name? These three Canadians were trying to think of a name for their country, so the got a Scrabble set. The first one reached into the bag, pulled out a tile and said, "C, eh?" The second pulled out a tile and said, "N, eh?" The third pulled a tile and said, "D, eh?"

On dialect -- you don't need it. Use word choice and sentence rhythm then let your readers provide the right amount of accent for them.

===========

As you know, Tennessee Williams wrote his plays in dialect. Now imagine this: A group of students from the Sunny South, whose natural accents were the magnolia-scented tones that Williams was trying to reproduce. Imagine them trying to pronounce the the written dialect phonetically. Trust me, it is weird sounding.

You can derived Rudyard Kipling's personal accent by reading the dialect he uses in Captains Courageous, if you know what a Gloucester fisherman's natural accent sounds like. You have to read the dialog with a British/Indian accent if you're going to come up with something at all accurate.

Dialect was formerly used more often in fiction than it currently is. Styles change. Please, if you're planning to write in dialect, reconsider your decision.

========

Hi, Joanna --

I am wondering what you think of writing exercises.

First, no writing is wasted. Any writing you do can teach you something of the art if you let it.

Second, writing exercises can help get you past the blank screen or blank sheet of paper problem. Some people freeze when faced with that faceless nothing. So use 'em if they get you going.

Beyond that, it's my opinion that sitting down and writing a story all the way to "The End" will teach you more than any number of writing exercises.
Hiya, Laurence!

In a third person past tense novel, is it too distracting to have (a) dream sequence(s) as such:

Character A dreamed:
CONTENT OF DREAM IN THIRD PERSON PRESENT TENSE
Continuation of narrative in third person past tense

That could work. Try it, see how it reads, see what your beta readers have to say.

For me, the hard-copy printout of the day's work (made at the end of each day) is the official version.

Those printout pages go, hole-punched, in a binder. Each page has, as part of its header, the filename.

Filenames: Chap1.wpd, chap2.wpd, etc. Next version: chap1_1.wpd, then chap1_2.wpd, chap1_3.wpd ... then chap1_1_1.wpd and so on, as high as it needs to go.

When it's nearing the end, Final1.wpd, final2.wpd, and so on.

Files go in folders, on two different computers, with a floppy-disk backup of each file.

From Another Thread (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7181)

The over-all rule is that every word in your novel should advance the plot, support the theme, or reveal character.

Vulgar language is just a special case of dialect.

The author must take his/her audience into account. The reader is a character in your book. You cast the reader the same way you cast any of your other characters, the same way you cast the author as a character.

===============

The F-Word Song (http://members.aol.com/berrymanp/alyrics/fword.html)

===========

The language you use will be determined by

a) your genre,
b) your audience,
c) your artistic choices.

=========

It all varies. Remember the "reveal character" thing.

(Also, Steve is quite right -- Our purpose is to entertain and communicate.... If the readers have thrown our book across the room we've failed in our purpose.)

Now for examples:

In Tournament and Tower (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/WIZ2EXPT.HTM), the first line in the first draft read:

"This f*cking sucks," said young Randal as he threw another forkload of stinking sh*t over his shoulder.

As submitted:

Slap! Randal swatted a stinging horsefly that had tried to make a meal from his shoulder.

In Aquatech Warriors (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/swift6.htm), the first line in the first draft read:

"Jesus Christ, Tom, get your f*cking hands off my tits!" said dark-haired Mandy Coster.

As submitted:

"You said we were going on a tropical vacation," Rick Cantwell grumbled good-naturedly to his friend Tom Swift.

On the other-other hand, Tiger Cruise (http://www.swordsmith.com/books/tiger.html) has various military characters, ranging from the Captain's Wife (who would never use a vulgarity) down through junior enlisted who say things like "Those f*cking f*ckers aren't f*cking around!" right there in the printed book.

==========

In the real world I know an ex-Mormon who routinely swears like a truck driver, but who in moments of extreme stress and pain (like dropping something very heavy on a foot) will blurt out "Criminty!"

Off to literature again, Studs Terkel, on one book, has a Chicago gangster who, whenever he attempts to swear, automatically bows his head when he says "Jesus!"

That's characterization.
I have always been taught never start a sentence with 'And' or 'Because.' Are these considered acceptable as good grammar now, or do they fall under what is considered style?

I would be very careful of either in narrative.

You can do anything you want in dialog.
A quote from my beloved co-author:

"Where did we get the idea that 'hard' and 'fun' were antonyms? The opposite of fun isn't hard, it's boring."

Without arguing the character of Spike (I think that the seeds of his redemption are planted early on), I may comment that no one's 100% anything. Characters are mixtures of traits, some good, some bad, some sympathetic, some not.

The balance and mix is what makes 'em work.

One disadvantage that series television has (as compared with novels) is that it's impossible for the writers to go back and revise the first chapters to make them fit with the end.

A lie is something you tell to get a lay.

To be a bit more responsive:

"He came up over the rise to town and looked down into the valley where all the homes lay."

Lay is the past form of to lie. (Since lie changes to lay rather than just adding -ed to become "lied" we call this a strong verb.)

"To lie" means "to be situated" or "to recline." This is an intransitive verb. That means that it doesn't take a direct object.

The present participle of "to lie" is "lying," the past particible is "has lain."

=========

"To lay," on the other hand, means "to place" or "to put." This is a transitive verb -- it must have a direct object.

The present participle of "to lay" is "laying." The past form and past participle are both "laid."

=========

A participle is a verb that's being used as an adjective (to modify a noun).

=========

The confusion rises here: the past form of "to lie" is spelled the same as the present form of "to lay."

To add to the fun: "To lie" (to make an untrue statement) is a weak verb (forms the past tense by adding -ed), and doesn't take a direct object. Its present participle is "lying."

"To lay" is even more fun.

To beat down with force (Sir Reginald began to lay about him.)

To bury (Sir Reginald was laid in the churchyard.)

To copulate with (Sir Reginald got laid in the churchyard.)

To set in position (Sir Reginald laid the table.)

To put on a surface (Sir Reginald laid plaster.)

To place an immaterial thing (Sir Reginald laid stress on grammar.)

Sir Reginald also laid rope, laid plans, laid taxes, laid a bet, and laid his Aunt's ruffled feelings. Meanwhile, Sir Reginald's hen laid an egg.

That's a whole lot of laying going on.

=========

Hang/ hung:

"To hang" means "to suspend from above."

As a strong verb, hang changes its form in the past to become [/i]hung[/i]. As a weak verb, used of people in terms of exection, it adds -ed to become hanged. "She hung the picture," vice "Fred was hanged." On the other hand, Sadie hung onto the rope all night.

Hang on the Bell, Nellie (http://www.scoutorama.com/song/song_display.cfm?song_id=241)
========

"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care/ In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there."

-- A Visit from St. Nicholas (http://www.kidsdomain.com/holiday/xmas/stories/niteb4.html)

vice

"'Shoot and be damned you rogue' said he/ 'And you'll be hanged and you'll be hanged for murdering me'."

-- Sovay (http://www.pthill.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/zsovay.htm)

=========

"I'll be hanged!" Sir Reginald exclaimed, when he saw the wallpaper Lady Anne had hung in the parlor.

Tenses of words:

Oh, dear.

Depending on who you believe, English has only two tenses (present and past), or thirty-six. Or some number in between.

English is a fiendishly difficult language.

Anyone have any strong feelings on roof top versus rooftop?

Just be consistent. When the book is bought (as it will be if the story is compelling, regardless of whether you use roof top or rooftop) the publisher will give you a copy editor who will change it to house style.

If the story isn't compelling, the book won't be bought, regardless of whether you use roof top or rooftop.

From another thread (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7178 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7178)):

That said, there are a lot of common questions about this industry (how about self-publishing? simultaneous submissions ok? do people really get discovered in the slush? do I really have to use that godawful Courier?) whose answers could be collected in a FAQ. The arcana of Key Lime Pies and Celtic Knotwork should stay in the thread where it is.

How about self-publishing?

Don't do it, unless you're writing specialized non-fiction for a defined niche audience.

Self-published poetry is standard.

If you're going to self-publish, actually self publish. Don't go to one of the vanity presses that have started disguising themselves as "self-publishing services."

Simultaneous submissions ok?

Yes, if and only if the publisher says "simultaneous submissions are okay" in their guidelines.

Do people really get discovered in the slush?

Yes. With some exceptions every author you see on the shelves in your local bookstore came out of one slushpile or another.

Do I really have to use that godawful Courier?

Yes. Don't ask why, don't argue, just do it.

==========

Lime Pie (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82651&postcount=364)

Celtic Knotwork (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82992&postcount=705)

To quote from one of our own works (isn't a huge ego wonderful?):

Quote:
"Son of a wizard-glamored troll!" Kay yelled, and slammed his fist into the stone wall. "The hairy little wart isn't ever going to forget that I used to beat him up regularly when I thought he was just my baby brother!"
=====

That's from "Holly and Ivy" in "Gawain and the Green Knight" (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0399225404) (yes, I do read Anglo-Saxon, and several dialects of Middle English -- the latter I know well enough to have composed an original work), which is sorta important because the story here is a comedy retelling of "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight."

Thus I show cussing.

===============

In the course of my career, I've been published by:

Archway
Avon
Ballantine/Ivy
Berkley
Berkley/Ace
Byron Preiss Multimedia/Pocket
DAW
Forge
Harcourt Brace
Harper Junior Books
Harper
HarperCollins
Masquerade
Philomel
Roc
Rosen
Scholastic
Swordsmith
Tor
Troll
Valiant
Warner/Aspect
Warner
Wildside

In no case did I have to go to a bookstore manager to ask for my works to be shelved. In every case I found (when ego scanning) one or more bookstores with copies of each work already on the shelves.

Those who tell you that only 1% of authors see their works stocked in bookstores are fibbing; among tradtionally published authors, darn near 100% see their works shelved in bookstores without any intervention on the author's part.

How long it will be shelved, and where it will be shelved I can't tell you. But shelved it will be, since publishers only make money if they sell books to the general public.

As for the claim that publishers don't market the books of first-time authors:

Balderdash.

Ask yourself if this is likely: The publisher acquires the book for some amount of money. They then spend some amount of money on editing, a cover, printing, and warehousing.

Then ... the publisher makes no attempt to recoup that investment? Come on! They're throwing away that money for the fun of it? They'd be out of business in no time if they did that. They have to be doing everything they can to make a profit on those books. The only way they can make a profit is by selling them. The only way they can sell them is to get them into bookstores. So there you go.
"A lot nicer"? You didn't see me making faces, sticking out my tongue, and wiggling my fingers in my ears.

==========

Oh, yeah, and ego thing.... we've got a story that was written in pure dialog. Around 800 words. It's published in Vampires (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/vamphead.htm) (Jane Yolen, ed.), and has been continously in print for the past eleven years. (Royalty checks twice a year, o yassss!)

Available used starting at $0.99. Buy one, better still, buy a dozen. They make excellent Labor Day gifts.

This, my friends, is why I prefer selling short stories to anthologies rather than to magazines. Magazines, one-time payment, it's off the stands in a month. In an anthology, same payment, but the chance it'll stay in print and earning money forever.

For anthologies -- first, you have to learn which anthologies are open. This may be a matter of networking, or it may be a matter of reading the trade magazines. When editors have open anthologies they put out the word in places where it's likely they'll find writers.

Cruise your bookstores. Editors who have put out anthologies in the past may be working on others. Write to them.

Some anthologies are open to previously published works. Query. (We've got one story that's been in three anthologies so far.)

The way this sort of thing usually works:

The editor proposes an anthology to a publisher, saying "I'll get Stephen King, John Grisham, Tom Clancy, and a few other people...." If the publisher buys it, they give the editor an advance to put together the anthology.

The editor sends invitations to Stephen King, John Grisham, and Tom Clancy, who all send back polite notes saying "So sorry, much too busy...." At this point the anthology opens up, and you have a chance to be one of the "few other people."

The editor pays you per word out of that advance he got.

Your story is edited by the editor, and, after the entire anthology is turned in, by the publisher.

Now it's published. Nothing much happens until the book earns out its advance. Then ... after the advance is earned out, the anthology editor keeps half of each royalty check and divides the rest pro rata among the authors. If the anthology is selling well, this can be ... an astounding amount of money. We had one 10,000 word story that sold for $0.05/word. That was $500. Okay, fine. The very first royalty period brought another $800. Things kept up like that for quite a while. That anthology eventually went out of print ... and we sold the same story to another anthology for a whole 'nother advance. I think that story's well over a dollar a word by now.

So, let's look for some open anthologies for you...

Go to Google and search on the following keywords: Submission Guidelines Anthology (http://www.google.com/search?q=submission+guidelines+anthology)

Use the same standards you would for any publisher: Is this advance against royalties? If not, you aren't interested. Is this a publisher you've heard of, that has bookstore sales? If not, you're not interested.

Subscribe to various writers' newsletters. Open anthologies are announced there from time to time. Remember, sometimes the opening is very brief -- a month. I know of anthologies that have filled in a week. It's highly competitive. But so's all of commercial writing. Don't let that slow you down.

Do not ever pay to get published.

Oh, dear, JoannaC. How can I answer your question without reading your novel?

General principles:

You're always in the middle of the story, yet you never have to explain everything that's gone before.

People refer to things. Have them refer to important information naturally. Avoid the dread "As You Know Bob" dialog.

The source of information and the source of interest should be the same.

===============

Mr. Earbrass had much the same problem in The Unstrung Harp (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0151004358/ref=nosim/madhousemanor). How he solved it is never mentioned. This is a common problem. I've had it too.

Possible solutions:

Come right out and tell the readers, in your role as narrator. Maude, a pleasant, blue-eyed girl, had thumbs that constantly pained her since her accident at age twenty-five.

Bring in a stranger, who can ask another, more knowledgeable character. "What's the matter with her?" Fred asked.

Fact is, if your characters are well-realized remarkably little backstory needs to be given explicitly.

Why is exposition necessarily a bad thing?

Exposition is a bad thing if and only if the reader doesn't care about the information.

First, make the reader care. Then you can get away with a block of text where the narrator just sits there and expounds if you want to do it that way.

Look at Moby-Dick (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0142000086/ref=nosim/madhousemanor) for a novel that's 99 44/100% exposition.

If the reader is going to skip over the paragraph looking for the next interesting thing, then the writer doesn't need to put that paragraph there to start with. Leave out the things the reader is going to skip.

The first question is: Do the readers really need to know about Sadie's unfortunate automobile accident? If so, do they need to know about it explicitly? Can it be summarized in a sentence? Or will it be better brought forward through a thousand subtle things, in the gestures she makes, in her word choices (both the things she says and the things she doesn't say)?

This is the art, my friends.

Does word of Sadie's accident advance the plot?

Does it support the theme?

Does it reveal character?

Now: Find a favorite book. An author you really enjoy. Someone of whom you say "I wish I could be him when I grow up!"

Take that book. Go through with a highlighter (http://www.google.com/products?q=highlighter) and mark all the exposition. See how that author did it.

Guys, over the course of the last darn-near ninety pages and nine months of discussion I've handed out lots of assignments. Show of hands, here: How many of you have done them?

<scold> Yes, learning to write is difficult. Yes, it's time consuming. Yes, it feels like you're back in school. I'm only recommending things that I've personally done, and that through my own experience I've found useful in understanding writing and becoming a stronger writer. Guys, this isn't a joke. Do the flippin' work. </scold>

You want an open anthology?

Guidelines here: http://www.cascadiacon.org/Anthology.htm" target="_new (http://www.cascadiacon.org/Anthology.htm)

To be published by Windstorm Creative (http://www.windstormcreative.com/), Make sure you read their guidelines too.

Next assignment: Write a story for this anthology and submit it.

Will your story be bought? Probably not.

But I promise you, the only stories that will be bought are the ones that were written and submitted.

Unwritten stories never sell.
Unsubmitted stories never sell.

After that, it's a matter of skill, craft, and luck -- but less luck than many people would have you believe.

This is getting far afield from novels. But only way to get professional sales is to a) write professional-quality prose, and b) submit it to professional markets.

If your backstories are more interesting than your main story, then you have the wrong story.

Amen, brother.

===============

This falls under Category 12 in the list of Reasons Books Are Rejected. A working editor explains:

1. Author is functionally illiterate.

2. Author has submitted some variety of literature we don’t publish: poetry, religious revelation, political rant, illustrated fanfic, etc.

3. Author has a serious neurochemical disorder, puts all important words into capital letters, and would type out to the margins if MSWord would let him.

4. Author is on bad terms with the Muse of Language. Parts of speech are not what they should be. Confusion-of-motion problems inadvertently generate hideous images. Words are supplanted by their similar-sounding cousins: towed the line, deep-seeded, incentiary, reeking havoc, nearly penultimate, dire straights, viscous/vicious.

5. Author can write basic sentences, but not string them together in any way that adds up to paragraphs.

6. Author has a moderate neurochemical disorder and can’t tell when he or she has changed the subject. This greatly facilitates composition, but is hard on comprehension.

7. Author can write passable paragraphs, and has a sufficiently functional plot that readers would notice if you shuffled the chapters into a different order. However, the story and the manner of its telling are alike hackneyed, dull, and pointless.

(At this point, you have eliminated 60-75% of your submissions. Almost all the reading-and-thinking time will be spent on the remaining fraction.)

8. It’s nice that the author is working on his/her problems, but the process would be better served by seeing a shrink than by writing novels.

9. Nobody but the author is ever going to care about this dull, flaccid, underperforming book.

10. The book has an engaging plot. Trouble is, it’s not the author’s, and everybody’s already seen that movie/read that book/collected that comic.

(You have now eliminated 95-99% of the submissions.)

11. Someone could publish this book, but we don’t see why it should be us.

12. Author is talented, but has written the wrong book.

13. It’s a good book, but the house isn’t going to get behind it, so if you buy it, it’ll just get lost in the shuffle.

14. Buy this book.

Go here (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html) for the full article and discussion. (I've recommended this site before. Really, go there, and do a couple of weeks' reading.)

=============

Other examples of "Author Has Written the Wrong Book" might include Little Women by Tom Clancy.

I'm afraid I don't have the answer to that question, Maestro. If I had the answer, I'd bottle it and sell it -- after I'd drunk a whole lot myself.

When the answer comes back, "Isn't working," all we can really do is use different words in another order to tell a different story. Maybe the next one will be better.

This is why we have to be introspective, and honest about our works. If we learn nothing, likely we'll keep repeating the same mistakes rather than finding new and original mistakes to make.

===========

PARTICIPATE IN COPYRIGHT RECORDS PROJECT SURVEY

The Copyright Office is conducting a survey to improve the process of searching the public records of the Copyright Office and making them more accessible to the public. The Office is studying the potential for converting the analog copyright records (1790 to 1977) to digital format and making these records accessible via the Web. Your input will help define the priorities and requirements needed to accomplish this goal.

The survey is available on the Copyright Office website at www.copyright.gov (http://www.copyright.gov). Click on "Please take our survey" under Hot Topics.

==========

I wouldn't tell you, Shawn, or Jim Ritchie, or Karen Ranney, or any of the published pros how to write -- all I promise is that people who read this thread will know how I write, and if some can learn from that enough to move from not-yet-published to published, then good on them!

Not that any of us are beyond learning new things....

The over-all assignment: Write every day.

Assignment One (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82327&postcount=40) Get, read, and play through Logical Chess Move By Move.

Assignment Two (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82331&postcount=44) Go to a bookstore, watch readers selecting which books they want to buy.

Assignment Three (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82335&postcount=48) Retype the first chapter of your favorite novel.

Assignment Four (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82389&postcount=102) Read The Sun, The Moon, and The Stars and Misery.

Assignment Five (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82417&postcount=130) Watch Sweeney Todd In Concert

[the following links will be added later]

Assignment Six Get and work through a high school review grammar workbook; get and read Fowler's Modern English Usage Dictionary.

Assignment Seven Memorize the Hollow Crown speech from Richard II.

Assignment Eight Watch Minority Report and L.A. Confidential.

Assignment Nine Read Red Harvest. Watch Yojimbo, Last Man Standing, A Fistful of Dollars, and Miller's Crossing.

Assignment Ten Learn how to do Celtic Knotwork

Assignment Eleven A round-up of books, movies, and articles. Watch the movies, read the articles, add the books to your library.

Assignment Twelve Build a model.

Assignment Thirteen Read one book from each year's best-seller list.

Assignment Fourteen Watch a movie a night for a month.

Assignment Fifteen Diagram a sentence from A Visit From St. Nicholas.

Assignment Sixteen See a stage play, watch a movie, watch a magician.

Assignment Seventeen Watch two particular episodes from X-Files and Millennium.

Assignment Eighteen Bake a lime pie.

Assignment Nineteen Memorize The Walrus and the Carpenter while wearing a paper hat.

Assignment Twenty Highlight the exposition in a published novel.

Assignment Twenty-One Write and submit a short story to an open anthology.

Assignment Twenty-Two Write your novel!
Okay, I did all that. Now what?

You've finished your novel, then?

Submit it, following the publishers' guidelines, to paying markets. Send it out 'til Hell won't have it.

Meanwhile, start work on your next book.

Our dialog-only story (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/vamphead.htm). (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/vamphead.htm)

==========

Nobody Has to Know
by
J.D. Macdonald & Debra Doyle

about 790 words

"What do you know about vampires?"

"Not much. They drink blood. They turn into bats. They die if they get hit by sunlight."

"Where did you learn that?"

"It's what I see in the movies. Why?"

"They have it all wrong, you know."

"Have what?"

"The sunlight. If you believe the movies, sunlight burns vampires, or explodes them, or makes them melt."

"That's wrong?"

"Yeah. All daylight really does to a vampire is make him ordinary. He can't change his shape into a bat or a wolf, heisn't any stronger than he was during his other life, and he ages one more day."

"Sure. So what's the point?"

"Just trying to explain why you never see me at night, that's all."

"Are you saying that you're a vampire?"

"That's right. Nights, I turn into a bat and go hunting for blood. Days, I go to school and get a little older. I want to look a little more mature."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I like you, is why. Nights, you guys are lunch. Days, you're safe. See? No fangs during daylight."

"This is about the weirdest story you've ever told, and you've told some weirdies. There's no such thing as vampires."

"If you say so."

"You don't have to believe me. Just so you know what's true. You know why I'm doing so well in History? For me, all that stuff was Current Events."

"Too freaky. Listen, there's the bell. Let's get to class."

#

"You know the thing you were talking about the other day?"

"You mean me being a vampire?"

"That's right. Why did you tell me?"

"I wanted you to know."

"Why?"

"Gets kind of lonely, nights."

"Listen, I got to go. See you later."

"Yeah, later."

#

"Are there lots of vampires?"

"No. Not lots."

"But vampires live forever, right?"

"Right. But there aren't a lot."

"Why not?"

"Why are you asking? Do you believe me now?"

"No. That was just another one of your freaky stories."

"Then why are you asking me about how many vampires there are?"

"Oh, never mind."

#

"We're very careful about who we make immortal. And the guy who becomes immortal, he has to want it too. Mostly it's older people who want to live forever. Young people think they'll live forever anyway."

"I don't. I don't think that."

"Neither did I. That's why I wanted to make the change. Now I just want to look a little older."

"How do you make someone a ... what you are?"

"It's the easiest thing you've ever done."

#

"When did you get to be a vampire?"

"Immortal. We say immortal."

"You didn't say that when you told me about it to start with."

"I wanted to use words you'd understand."

"You think I'm stupid or something?"

"No, it's not that. I'll tell you about me. Right after the Great War, in 1919, I got sick and I was going to die. The family doctor, we didn't know it, but he was immortal, and he really liked me. You know, he'd delivered me, he'd been to my parents' wedding. The whole routine. His partner used to make all the housecalls, but one night he came himself. Old friend of the family. Said either I could live forever, or I could die before morning."

"I know what I would have chosen."

"That's why I'm telling you now."

#

"Will people think I died?"

"Yeah, if you want them to. You can get buried, come out at night, go back before dawn. That sort of thing. Or you can keep on going to school. Nobody has to know."

"Let me think about it."

#

"The blood thing. That's been worrying me. Do you really have to drink blood? That's gross."

"You don't have to kill anyone. You don't need much to keep going. You can go places, do things. You're strong, you can fly. You can make people do what you want to by just looking at them. That's the best part."

#

"My parents are getting a divorce."

"I know."

"How do you know that?"

"Like I said. I go everywhere, I see everything."

"I wish I was dead."

"I know."

#

"How about the crosses and garlic?"

"There's a down side to everything. Just stay away from them. You won't miss them."

#

"Will it hurt?"

"Only a little, and not for long."

"Will you do it for me tonight?"

"You'll have to invite me in."

"I'll be ready. What time?"

"Nine. See you at nine."

"People will be sorry when I'm dead."

"You'll get to watch and see who cries."

#

"I've been thinking. About those weird stories you were telling. Listen, forget it."

"Too late."

THE END

==========

Milton, what I want you and every writer to do is this:

Think about your craft

Practice your craft.

After Google, there's always calling the publisher on the phone and saying "Hi! Who agented [title of book]?"

Or there's writing to the author, care of the publisher, with SASE, and saying "Hi! Who's your agent?"

There's http://www.agentresearch.com (http://www.agentresearch.com)

And there's asking your old chums Ann and Victoria. They might know.

Karen Ranney and Jim Ritchie are two of the other pros who post here from time to time -- though I've not gone and asked who might be behind various screen names. My basic position is that we're all writers here -- maybe at different places on our paths, but we're all writers. Anyone who puts finger to keyboard is my brother or sister.

=============

I have a really good chair. I also recommend lots of situps and crunchs, and walking twenty minutes a day is a good plan.

==========

I also recommend those ergonomic split-keyboards (http://www.google.com/search?q=ergonomic+keyboards/). They allow you to type with your wrists straight rather than bent, and lower the chance of carpal-tunnel syndrome.
Have heard to avoid agents/publishers listed in Writers Market and similar publications because EVERYONE uses them and agents and publishers listed are burnt out on newbies.

If you avoid them, who's left?

Seriously, you should avoid agents who advertise in Writer's Digest (http://www.writersdigest.com/GeneralMenu/), but ...

Publishers and agents are in business to find the one-in-a-hundred newbie who can tell a story. If that's you, you can ignore the other ninety-nine. The editors and agents slip rejection slips into envelopes all the time. What's one more?

Or can this character get a pass?

I can't possibly say without reading your novel.

Consider -- is this character a counterpoint, or a contrast to the other characters?

Is everything he does motivated? Is he natural? Does he have a mix of traits? Is he, in any way, arbitrary?

Suggestion one: finish your book.

Suggestion two: put it in your desk drawer for a month, then re-read it.

You may find that you've answered your question.

1) The reader will automatically bond with the first character they meet. Show the protag a) with a problem, and b) doing something. The eye will follow a moving object. If two objects are moving, the eye will follow the faster-moving one.

2) As much as necessary to advance the plot, support theme, and reveal character.

See above, previous advice about taking a published novel and retyping the first chapter yourself. How does your favorite author do these things?

Then, Julie, don't worry about it, and please yourself. Ask more beta readers for their input.

When beta readers tell you there's a problem they're usually right. When they tell you what the problem is they're usually wrong.

Okay. Let's see what we can do for you, madeya.

Possibilities: The first one that comes to mind is that the ending you have in mind for this story isn't the right ending.

So ... go to that 3/4 point, and go in some different direction. Forget what you had planned for them. See where the characters take you.

Second suggestion: Put this book in your desk drawer and write a whole 'nother novel, beginning to end. When you've done that, take this one out, and re-read it. Perhaps a solution will occur to you then. Or perhaps you'll say to yourself, "The desk drawer is the right place for this novel," and you'll continue in your own writing life in a different direction.

I'll only be intermittantly on-line over the next while. Family matters, y'know.

In my absence, I've asked Editrx to look in from time to time.

Hanging out in nursing homes gives you lots of reading time.

Have you missed me? (I'm still not fully back.)

I have thought of a wonderful exercise for y'all, though.

See ya again soon....

I've been doing more reading and less writing than usual lately.

I've been thinking about what to read, in view of becoming a better/stronger/more interesting/more commercial/happier/richer writer.

My thoughts were these. If you want to be a world-class writer, it strikes me, you study with a world-class writer. You have your target -- you know what genre you want to write in -- so... find the award winners in that genre, and read those books.

Life is short. We will only read so many books. There are more books in the world than anyone could possibly read. Do you have a minute to spare to read tripe, trivia, and trash? Is tripe, trivia, and trash what you aim to write yourself?

I've already assigned you to read a pile of bestsellers (best seller is itself a genre). Think of this as a complement to that assignment.

Therefore: Next assignment, folks. Name your genre, pick up the award winners in that genre for the past ten years, and read 'em. Read 'em with your critical eye, with your writer's eye. How did the author tell the story? How were the effects produced? How are they similar? How are they different? See how the masters did it, go you and do likewise.

So: The Lists.

The National Book Award

1994 A Frolic of His Own - William Gaddis
1995 Sabbath's Theater - Philip Roth
1996 Ship Fever and Other Stories - Andrea Barrett
1997 Cold Mountain - Charles Frazier
1998 Charming Billy - Alice McDermott
1999 Waiting - Ha Jin
2000 In America - Susan Sontag
2001 The Corrections - Jonathan Franzen
2002 Three Junes - Julia Glass
2003 The Great Fire - Shirley Hazzard

World Fantasy Award

1994 Lewis Shiner, Glimpses
1995 James Morrow, Towing Jehovah
1996 Christopher Priest, The Prestige
1997 Rachel Pollack, Godmother Night
1998 The Physiognomy by Jeffrey Ford
1999 Louise Erdrich, The Antelope Wife
2000 Martin Scott, Thraxas
2001 Declare, Tim Powers
2002 The Other Wind, Ursula K. Le Guin
2003 The Facts of Life Graham Joyce

The Pulitzer Prize

1995 The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields
1996 Independence Day by Richard Ford
1997 Martin Dressler: The Tale of an American Dreamer by Steven Millhause
1998 American Pastoral by Philip Roth
1999 The Hours by Michael Cunningham
2000 Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri
2001 The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
2002 Empire Falls by Richard Russo
2003 Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
2004 The Known World by Edward P. Jones

The RITA Award (Romance)

Many <a href="http://www.readersread.com/awards/rita.htm" target="_new">sub-genres</a> including historical romance, regency romance, romantic suspense, paranormal romance, contemporary romance, traditional romance, and inspirational romance.

The Edgar Award (Mystery)

1995 The Red Scream, Mary Willis Walker
1996 Come to Grief, Dick Francis
1997 The Chatham School Affair, Thomas H. Cook
1998 Cimarron Rose, James Lee Burke
1999 Mr. White's Confession, Robert Clark
2000 Bones, Jan Burke
2001 The Bottoms, Joe R. Lansdale
2002 Silent Joe, T. Jefferson Parker
2003 Winter and Night, S.J. Rozan
2004 Resurrection Men, Ian Rankin

The Bram Stoker Award (Horror)

1994 Dead in the Water by Nancy Holde
1995 Zombie by Joyce Carol Oates
1996 The Green Mile by Stephen King
1997 Children of the Dusk by Janet Berliner & George Guthridge
1998 Bag of Bones, by Stephen King
1999 Mr. X by Peter Straub
2000 The Traveling Vampire Show by Richard Laymon
2001 American Gods by Neil Gaiman
2002 The Night Class by Tom Piccirilli
2003 lost boy lost girl by Peter Straub

The Nebula Awards (Science Fiction)

1994 Moving Mars by Greg Bear
1995 The Terminal Experiment by Robert J. Sawyer
1996 Slow River by Nicola Griffith
1997 The Moon and the Sun by Vonda N. McIntyre
1998 Forever Peace by Joe Haldeman
1999 Parable of the Talents by Octavia E. Butler
2000 Darwin's Radio by Greg Bear
2001 The Quantum Rose by Catherine Asaro
2002 American Gods by Neil Gaiman
2003 Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon

=============

Being a writer means that you have homework every day for the rest of your life.

But ... we're readers too, we writers. Primarily, we're readers. We write because no one else has written exactly the story we want to hear.

This is a light burden.

Trying to get through Winston Churchill at the moment. He was amazingly popular in the early 1900's and I'm trying to figure out WHY?!?!

Look with your writer's eyes. What is this writer trying to do? What is he giving to his audience?

And remember, the reason that when the British Prime Minister, Sir Winston Churchill wrote, this person is why the British chap wrote as "Winston S. Churchill," so that he wouldn't be confused with the best-selling author of historical fictions.

but it occured to me that going that route will put my protag in the situation he fears most. At this point, I was fighting that. And really, I do know that's what you're supposed to do with those characters.

My long-time writing partner says, "Writing is about a lot of things, but being kind to your characters isn't one of them."

Believe that.

When you can't get to the ending you imagined, that's a clue that it's the wrong ending. Find a new/better one.

There's one ending that I've been trying to reach for eight novels now.

Be true to your characters; be true to yourself. That's what's required of the novelist.

1. Someone who reads alot and know a good book when she reads one
2. Someone who may not be a writer herself -- sometimes writers can be jaded.. you want an unbiased perspective
3. Someone you can trust -- very important
4. Someone who can be really candid and honest -- tell you straight up without sugar coating anything; but see #3.
5. Someone who knows something about your market/genre.

And another -- someone who has never read a word of yours before; someone who doesn't know your world, who doesn't know your voice. The naive reader in the bookstore. The first reader at the publisher.

Are there any questions that would help a beginner improve, but which no beginner ever seems to think of asking?

Oh ... my ... Ghod....

Without reading the thread you reference....

Listen, young writer. You ask what you need to do, to improve? You want to know the secret?

Write your story... write your novel... then write another one.

And for heaven's sake think. Think about what you're doing, what worked, what didn't. Be honest. Be brutal -- with yourself.

But, above all,write.

The trick is, as the original question poses: who should be your perfect beta?

I have a perfect beta. Just one person (and no, it's not my co-writer). But there's one person who I write for, and that's my beta.

To her: Thank you.

And -- I've been a beta. I remember one person. I read her novel, and my comment was (among other things) that I didn't see why the heroine and the villain didn't push the hero off the top of the nearest bell tower and make bets on how high he'd bounce.

She never asked me to comment on another novel.

That novel was never published.

(That author has published other novels.)

Honesty. If you're a beta, be honest.

Is it time maybe to archive this thread as LEARN WITH JIM 1 and start anew? Just a thought.

When we reach 100 pages. Perhaps.

I imagine then the first dozen posts of the new thread will be links to the old one, to the Best Of posts.

I'm also thinking of doing a FAQ.

Q. How Do I Become a Writer?

A. By sending your writing to editors likely to buy it.

Q. What editor is likely to buy it?

A. One who has bought similar things in the past.

Q. What do you mean "bought"?

A. Sent a check for cash money, to the tune of at least $0.05 cents a word.

Q. How do I know who has bought similar things?

A. By reading the magazine/imprint for which the person edits.

Q. How do I submit?

A. Double-spaced, on one side of the paper, with one-inch margins.

And so on ....

Many years ago, when I was young and innocent, I went to a presentation by a Famous Author, with questions after. And I wanted to be a writer, even then. And I raised my hand, timidly, near the end, and asked "How does one become a published writer?" or words to that effect.

And the famous writer answered, something about inspiration, and vision, and much else that wasn't particularly useful (in that it took me fifteen years to figure out the answer to my question), which was, "Type it on one side of the paper, double spaced, and send it to someone likely to buy it. For cash."

Let me tell you a true thing: if you have a talent for prose fiction (and most people don't -- I swear to you, most people don't), and you've practiced so that your talent is developed -- there are folks who will pay you cash money. You have a rare talent. You are one among a million. You deserve money for what you can do. Do not sell yourself short!

But your first, or your second, or ... need I go on? Your efforts need to be practiced.

Not only must you be good enough, you have to be good enough to go head to head against people who are as talented as you (or more!) and who have been practicing for twenty years.

In the words of Dirty Harry: "Ask yourself, punk, do you feel lucky?"

Guys, I've been talented all my life. I've been writing for forty years. I've been publishing for a bit over fifteen of them.

This is work. This is not just raw talent, this is work. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

Oh, dear, Joanna.

First, you might want to read The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (http://www.powells.books/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0809001608) by B. Traven.

Now, consider these possiblities:

While these people are on the island, a bio-engineered plague kills everyone else on earth. What is the treasure worth to them now?

or

The billionaire is still alive, and for reasons of his own wants these particular people corralled. Either they're capable of thwarting his plans elsewhere in the world, or he's planning Weird Medical Experiments.

or

There never was a billionaire; this is just another stupid reality TV game show. When the participants realize this, they destroy the cameras, go to New York, and take over the network that had been sponsoring it. One of our heroes becomes a prophet, but is only able to reveal where lost bread boxes can be found. Since few people have bread boxes any more, and fewer of them lose 'em, this isn't too spectacular. The soldier is accused of having murdered the head of the network. The jury returns the verdict "Justifiable Homicide."

The night before the treasure hunt is to begin is a perfect time for the plot to take a wild turn. Whatever happens should call off the game.

===========

I've thought about this a little more.

What's the theme of this book? Who are the characters, really? Once you know those things, you'll have a better idea of which way to move the plot. But since the Pakistani businessman is plotting it for you as you go ... I don't know what to say.

Maybe the Weird Medical Experiment is a mutated form of VD, bioengineered by the billionaire in a failed attempt to create a means of restoring his failing manhood, which has the powers of being a) a true aphrodasiac, and b) horribly fatal. The story is a clever commentary on HIV/AIDS.
Hi, Kate --

I left off the Hugos because I already had a list of SF award winners, and didn't feel like handing out too much homework.

"Were" is the subjunctive -- it expresses conditions or events that the speaker wants to happen, hopes to happen, or imagines happening. Usually you find "if" preceding "were."

"The boss would be happy if you were there."

You can use "was" informally or in dialog.

Technically, a novel is a book-length work of realistic prose fiction.

What exactly "book-length" is, now ... if you're asking for a definition, it's anything above 40,000 words. If you're asking, "What's a commercial length?" think about 60,000 words. If you're asking, "Is 200,000 words too long?" the answer is maybe -- for a first time author. Or maybe not, if they're all exactly the right words.

Your first goal is to have the right words, and only the right words, in your book. After that figure out whether it's a commercial length and what category to put it in.

Here, try this: Go to a bookstore or library, find some recent crime novels, and count the words. (To count the words: take five random pages. Count the individual words on them. Divide by five, then multiply by the total number of pages in the book.)

I look at this "book-length" project of mine and realise it doesn't actually fit any category ...

If you have a compelling story compellingly told, what exact category it fits into won't matter ... let the editors and the marketing people at the publishing house figure out what kind of cover to put on it.

Remember that Fritz Leiber's Conjure Wife (http://www.powells.books/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0812512960/) has been marketed as fantasy, science fiction, horror, and romance at various times its publishing history.

Marketing categories -- if your story is good enough they'll invent a marketing category just for you.

As Kate mentioned, the chains have noticed real reader reluctance to buy a book by someone they've never heard of that's priced over around $25 (and reluctance among readers to buy books priced above $28 even among authors they've heard of and like).

When that's combined with the philosophy that some of the majors have expressed that "If it's worth publishing, it's worth publishing in hardcover," you can see a hit to the mega-doorstop novels.

That being said -- you need exactly as many words as it takes to tell your story. If you're over 120,000 words, and every one of them is a necessary word, go with that.

Oh, Ghod, not more grammar wars.

I've read two Grisham novels -- The Runaway Jury, and A Time to Kill.

Later on today I'll try to hit the library and grab a couple of Grisham's works, and play with a couple of pages here.

I'll also try to remember to give you my Fire Door Theory of Novels.

I pulled The Summons and The Street Lawyer out of the library today, and looked at A Time To Kill over at Barnes&Noble.

I defy anyone to read the first page of A Time to Kill and not go on to finish the first chapter -- I know I did, standing there in the bookstore.

I'll be looking at the other two books shortly, and maybe doing some retyping here.

Remember the master rule: Does it work?

===============

Sometimes later books by popular authors get sloppy, in some ways. Sometimes its that they aren't being edited as closely (that happens for all sorts of reasons -- if anyone ever hears me say "I want a no-editing clause in my next contract" you have my permission to come to my house and mock me in person). Sometimes the author has run out of the earlier fire, and is cruising.

Readers are more forgiving of authors who have shown them a good time in the past, and will work with them a bit longer and a bit harder.

===========

Oh -- here's my WorldCon schedule (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/worldconskedjdm.htm).

Do you alternate for sound, variety, or what?

Variety, sentence rhythm, and to reinforce the character's name for the reader.

She'll spend an awful lot of the rest of the book in one disguise or another, using other names.

Wouldn't the book sell well, even if it was complete rubbish?

It would -- perhaps. Readers are wiley creatures, and sometimes will leave everyone scratching their heads. The Bridges of Madison County?

More important, given that publishers have limited resources, why would the editor put a book she knows is complete rubbish number one on the list and advertise the heck out of it? Doesn't that editor have any good books? Are the other editors at that publishing house sitting on their thumbs?

A nice cover, yes. A good blurb, yes. Make it read as well as it can, of course. But if it's rubbish and the editor knows it ... the resources aren't going to be there for more.

The author said that the publisher was getting stricter with word counts, and would not accept anything over 120k (while in the past up to 150k was okay). A second author, with published short stories in the best pro markets (also SF), said they were given the same limits for their first novel (from TOR).

It's more likely that that was specific advice for specific authors, who may write fatter books than the story will support.

*[compiler's note--sorry this took so long, the board went down and ate the whole thing, edited links and all, and it took a bit to reconstruct it--(now saved in a word doc on my hard drive. *sigh*)]

MacAllister

02-19-2005, 02:00 AM

James D. Macdonald

Learn Writing With Uncle Jim

August 2004

Oh, no! A typo! I shall die of shame. (And I shall also go back and edit that....)

In reading unpublished writing (which I am occasionally asked to do), it always seems painfully clear to me from the first pages who has talent and who doesn't.

To which I say: Sometimes. Sometimes someone who seemed totally hopeless returns some years later with something Really Good. You've heard how many pro writers have early works that they wince to re-read, who thank Ghod that the editors they sent 'em to rejected them. This too is true.

Yes, I've read unpublished stuff (a lot of it) that should stay unpublished, where I've said "This guy has talent." That's why the line in the rejection letter that says "send us your next" is a hopeful one.

It's also true that judging your own work is difficult, and knowing if you have talent is darn-near impossible. (Have I mentioned how many Big Name Pros have "Imposter Syndrome"?)

Here's how to tell if you are good enough for someone to offer you money:

a) Someone offers you money.

Before then, if you're unsure about submitting your work:

b) Your beta readers ask you if you have anything else for them to read.

Better still:

c) Friends of your beta readers ask if you have anything else for them to read.

Jim and others:

Do you have a list of final things you check before submitting a manuscript?

I check to make sure all the pages are there and nothing horrible has happened to the formatting (like chapter twenty-two being printed in 8-point Garish, and everything from page 403 to the end underlined). Sometimes the running headers get screwed up in entertaining ways.

By the time I submit a manuscript I've read it so often I'm sick of it. Darn-near have it memorized. And how it feels to me is boring.

Really, read The Unstrung Harp (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0151004358/). That'll tell you the truth.

But I can tell you a funny story.

As some of you may know, I write with my wife. And as others of you know, we live in far northern New Hampshire.

There we were. We'd finished Starpilot's Grave (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0812517059/) (a fine book; everyone should buy a dozen -- they make excellent gifts).

It was all printed out, tidily boxed, all's well. We were driving down to New York to spend the night at my mother's house, then take the train into New York City to meet our editor for lunch (and when editors take authors to expense-account lunches, it's worth the drive from far northern New Hampshire). Besides, the deadline was the next day (nothing like cutting it close).

And as we drove out of town, I turned to my wife and casually said, "You know, the middle doesn't work."

"Arrrghhhh!" she agreed with me.

Fortunately we had the novel on disk with us, and the computer with us, and the printer with us. (These were letter-quality dot-matrix days ... show of hands, kiddies, do you remember them?)

By the time we reached New York some seven hours later, we'd sort-of figured out what to do ... add a space battle. To reveal character, advance the plot, and support the theme.

It wasn't just adding one chapter, though. All the foreshadowing had to go into the earlier chapters, and all the results had to go into the subsequent chapters. It changed everything.

So.... first thing I did on arrival was sit down and write about twenty pages of original text, while Debra went through the first chapters and marked where the foreshadowing would have to go. Then while she was re-writing the new chapter and changing the first part of the book, I and my red-pencil were adding, deleting, and changing stuff in the back end of the book.

Now you all recall that dot matrix printers were slow in those days -- especially when you switched 'em to Letter Quality. Debra was still entering the changes in Chapter Two when we started Chapter One printing. And I figured how fast the pages were coming out, and calculated that at the current printing rate, we'd just catch our train.

This seemed to be working fairly well, right up until the safety feature on the printer clicked in.

It seemed that if the print-head got too hot, the printer would pause until it cooled, to keep from burning out the printer. It was August, a hot sticky night in August. And the safety feature shut down the printer. At that moment, we didn't care about the darned print head -- we could get a new printer if this one burned out -- what we didn't have was time.

Taking the lid off the printer so it wouldn't trap heat didn't help -- they had a cute little safety interlock to keep the printer from working while the lid was off.

Which is how that printer wound up with its lid off, with a paperclip jammed into the safety interlock, and a fan blowing at the print head.

We made the train (though I spent the trip into the city pulling the ears off the paper -- that was in the day of fan-fold sproket-drive computer paper). I noticed one typo on the way, corrected it with pen, and continued. The edges of the paper went into a wastebasket at Grand Central.

But we made it.

Well, I thought it was a funny story, anyway....
A serious answer to the question every writer gets asked:

"Where do you get your ideas?"

The answer is:

I'm the sort of person who gets ideas. Lots of them. If you don't have ideas popping into your head all the darn time, perhaps a career as a professional writer isn't for you.

What is it that untalented writers seem to lack?

Think of it as dating the Muse.

Some guys take the Muse out, and most of the evening is spent in painful silence. The guy delivers the Muse back to her apartment, they shake hands, and that's that.

Some guys take the Muse out, things get hot and heavy in the back seat of the car for a while, she gives him a passionate kiss at her apartment door, then the door slams and she never returns his phone calls.

Some guys wake up the next morning, walk into the kitchen and find a chick wearing nothing but one of his shirts. She's got a happy smile on her face. She's making pancakes.

"Who are you?" the guy asks.

"I'm the Muse," she replies. "Don't you remember last night?" She starts frying bacon.

----------

If you can recognize which relationship with the Muse the writer has, you can tell who has the talent.

Note: Just as guys can have different relationships with young ladies at different points in their lives, so too can writers have different relationships with the Muse at various points in their lives.

I get the feeling that if Grisham submitted the first few pages of on of his novels to you, you would tear it to shreds. He does too much stuff that doesn't advance the plot, introduces millions of names of characters that never get developed or even mentioned later, and so on.

The first two pages of The Summons (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0440241073/), by John Grisham:

Chapter 1

It came by mail, regular postage, the old-fashioned way since the Judge was almost eighty and distrusted modern devices. Forget e-mail and even faxes. He didn't use an answering machine and had never been fond of the telephone. He pecked out his letters with both index fingers, one feeble key at a time, hunched over his old Underwood manual on a rolltop desk under the portrait of Nathan Bedford Forrest. The Judge's grandfather had fought with Forrest at Shiloh and throughout the Deep South, and to him no figure in history was more revered. For thirty-two years, the Judge had quietly refused to hold court on July 13, Forrest's birthday.

It came with another letter, a magazine, and two invoices, and was routinely placed in the law school mailbox of Professor Ray Atlee. He recognized it immediately since such envelopes had been a part of his life for as long as he could remember. It was from his father, a man he too called the Judge.

Professor Atlee studied the envelope, uncertain whether he should open it right there or wait a moment. Good news or bad, he never knew with the Judge, though the old man was dying and good news had been rare. It was thin and appeared to contain only one sheet of paper; nothing unusual about that. The Judge was frugal with the written word, though he'd once been known for his windy lectures from the bench.

It was a business letter, that much was certain. The Judge was not one for small talk, hated gossip and idle chitchat, whether written or spoken. Ice tea with him on the porch would be a refighting of the Civil War, probably at Shiloh, where he would once again lay all blame for the Confederate defeat at the shiny, untouched boots of General Pierre G. T. Beauregard, a man he would hate even in heaven, if by chance they met there.

He'd be dead soon. Seventy-nine years old with cancer in his stomach. He was overweight, a diabetic, a heavy pipe smoker, had a bad heart that had survived three attacks, and a host of lesser ailments that had tormented him for twenty years and were not finally closing in for the kill. The pain was constant. During their last phone call three weeks earlier, a call initiated by Ray because the Judge thought long distance was a rip-off, the old man sounded weak and strained. They had talked for less than two minutes.

The return address was gold-embossed: Chancellor Reuben V. Atlee, 25 Chancery District, Ford County Courthouse, Clanton, Mississippi. Ray slid the envelope into the magazine and began walking. Judge Atlee no longer held the office of chancellor. The voters had retired him nine years earlier; a bitter defeat from which he would never recover. Thirty-two years of diligent service to his people, and they tossed him out in favor of a younger man with ra-

The first two pages of The Street Lawyer (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0440225701/), by John Grisham:

One

The man with the rubber boots stepped into the elevator behind me, but I didn't see him at first. I smelled him though -- the pungent odor of smoke and cheap wine and life on the street without soap. We were alone as we moved upward, and when I finally glanced over I saw the boots, lack and dirty and much too large. A frayed and tattered trench coat fell to his knees. Under it, lawyers of foul clothing bunched around his mid-section, so that he appeared stocky, almost fat. But it wasn't from being well fed; in the wintertime in D.C., the street people wear everything they own, or so it seems.

He was black and aging -- his beard and hair were half-gray and hadn't been washed or cut in years. He looked straight ahead through thick sunglasses, thoroughly ignoring me, and making me wonder for a second why, exactly, I was inspecting him.

He didn't belong. It was not his building, not his elevator, into a place he could afford. The lawyers on all eight floors worked for my firm at hourly rates that still seemed obscene to me even after seven years.

Just another street bum in from the cold. Happened all the time in downtown Washington. But we had security guards to deal with the riffraff.

We stopped at six, and I noticed for the first time that he had not pushed a button, had not selected a floor. He was following me. I made a quick exit, and as I stepped into the splendid marble foyer of Drake & Sweeney I glanced over my shoulder just long enough to see him standing in the elevator, looking at nothing, still ignoring me.

Madam Devier, one of your very resilient receptionists, greeted me with her typical look of disdain. "Watch the elevator," I said.

"Why?"

"Street bum. You may want to call security."

"Those people," she said in her affected French accent.

"Get some disinfectant too."

I walked away, wrestling my overcoat off my shoulders, forgetting the man with the rubber boots. I had nonstop meetings throughout the afternoon, important conferences with important people. I turned the corner and was about to say something to Polly, my secretary, when I heard the first shot.

Madam Devier was standing behind her desk, petrified, staring into the barrel of an awfully long handgun held by our pal the street bum. Since I was the first one to come to her aid, he politely aimed it at me, and I too became rigid.

"Don't shoot," I said, hands in the air. I'd seen enough movies to know precisely what to do.

"Shut up," he mumbled, with a great deal of composure.
There were voices in the hallway behind me. Someone yelled,

Discussion in a bit....

But first, both of those excerpts ended in mid-sentence. Who doesn't want to find out What Happens Next?

=========

Yes, this was brought up early on, and the answer is: Author's Choice.

For me, a chapter break happens at a natural break in time/place/character/action that's more than a line break, less than a Part.

For me, I try to arrange things so that those natural breaks happen every ten to twenty pages.

For me, the end of a chapter has a miniature climax, and a cliffhanger, that points to the start of the next chapter.

For you ... maybe something different.
Imagine the look of surprise on my face when I found that AW regular HapiSofi's comments on WorldCon (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessage?topicID=438.topic) were picked up by my second-favorite hangout, Making Light (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005451.html#005451), a literary Blog, as well as being commented and expanded upon in a couple of Live (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sartorias/31706.html)Journals (http://www.livejournal.com/users/msagara/8046.html).

Since I'm going to be at WorldCon (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/worldconskedjdm.htm) myself, all I can say is "right on," and "read, learn, and inwardly digest."

I'm thinking of starting a Son Of Uncle Jim thread, Real Soon Now.

But ...

Before we go there....

Uncle Jim Does an Info Dump.

Here's the first several pages from a short story ("Jenny Nettles" in Bruce Coville's Book of Spine Tinglers (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=059025930X)). Note how much info is dumped, and how little story is going on.

Now ... let's see how many people are still following at the bottom of this post, and who wants to see What Happens Next:

Jenny Nettles
by
Debra Doyle and James D. Macdonald

2600 words

On October the fourth of the year 1773, the brigantine Jenny Nettles, merchantman out of New Bedford, made port. No sooner was she tied up than the crew was at work with block and tackle, with hammer and chisel, unshipping the figurehead.

They lifted it up and swung it ashore, the carved and painted wooden statue of a woman in Highland garb, and laid it down on the pier. Then six men on either side they carried it shoulder high to the nearest churchyard. They dug a grave, lowered the figurehead in, and said the words from the Book. When they were done they filled in the grave, set up crosses at the head and foot, and returned to the ship without a word.

None of the crew ever shipped in Jenny Nettles again, and more than one of them left the sea for good after that voyage. But not a soul among them would ever say why.

#

She was built in Halifax in 1755, and christened Jenny Fraser.

The owner was a Scotsman, a Fraser of Strathglass. In the bloody year of '45, when the Scottish clans rose up against the crown of England, John Fraser was a new-married man. With a wife to keep, and a child on the way, he stayed out of the fighting. He obtained a certificate of immunity -- an official paper showing that he had never fought against King George II -- and after the uprising ended in bitter defeat for the rebels at the Battle of Culloden, he trusted in the certificate to protect him from King George's soldiers.

But the redcoat troops who came through Glenmoriston and Strathglass cared nothing for a scrap of paper. He was a Highlander, and that was enough. He was taken prisoner as a rebel and a traitor, and sent to the hulks -- the prison ships anchored in the river Thames.

There he remained for the best part of a year, while he and the hundreds of others who shared the rotting holds of the prison ships grew thinner by the day, until their bones could all be seen. Many died. The corpses were removed only when enough of them had accumulated to make it worthwhile to hire beggars to haul them out.

After an endless time when the only light he was a square patch of blue in the deck above, John Fraser and his fellow prisoners were haled out on deck, divided into groups of twenty, and forced to choose lots. One man in each twenty was hanged. The rest were transported -- sent to England's colonies in America, with no hope of ever returning home.

John Fraser had come to Halifax unwillingly, but he prospered there as he had never done in his native Scotland. In time he became a wealthy merchant. But he never forgot the wife and child he had lost when King George's soldiers came killing and looting their way through Glen Cannich. And when he built his first ship, it was christened Jenny Fraser in his wife's name.

Jenny Fraser was a sweet sailer and had lucky passages, bringing good fortune to her owner and to those who sailed in her. But the time came when John Fraser died in Halifax -- of weariness after a hard life as much as from any mortal illness -- and the Jenny passed into other hands.

#

In 1764, Jenny Fraser was sold for the first time, and in 1768 she was sold again. The first buyer kept the old name, seeing no point in changing what the ship had done well with, but the second, a New Bedford Yankee, had no great liking for another merchant's name on a thing that was his. Nor did he care for wasting ceremony on an object of wood and hemp and canvas. He had the old name painted over and a new one lettered on the sternboard, all without a proper christening, and the ship was called Jenny Nettles from that day on.

By 1773, when she left Liverpool for New Bedford with a cargo of Irish linen, fine china, and cotton manufactured goods, no one aboard the brigantine remembered that she had ever been called anything else.

#

Halfway through the voyage, the wind died....

2600 wordsVery quickly --

Australia can be considered foreign rights. Depends on what the publisher bought. If they picked up North American rights then you won't see the book outside North America.

If the publisher picked up World English rights, you might see UK and Australian editions, or in any other english-speaking country.

Or other rights and rights packages.

Alas, so far none of my books have sold in Australia. I weep, I sigh. I'd like it if they did. The rights are available; if you're a publisher send me a note; I'm sure we can work something out.

Meanwhile, for all others:

This is a page called Slush (http://www.sharyn.org/slush.html). It's from Sharyn November, the editor of the Firebird imprint (Penguin USA's YA reprint line). There is much good advice on that page, and many fine links from it.

Another fine article, with much to teach us:

New York Times Magazine (http://www.nytimes.com/2004/08/01/magazine/01CLARKE.html?ex=1249099200&en=2fea0b3cbfbd17d9&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland).

There are two different books with the title "Conan the Magnificent." One was by Steve Perry, the other by Robert Jordan. Both were from Tor Books.

Robert Jordan and Terry Brooks are two different people; I've seen them both in the same room at the same time.

(To answer your question: there are all kinds of ways to avoid having your real name show up on the copyright page of your book. Let your publisher handle this.)

I know that there are a lot of questions hanging fire and discussions that I've promised, and I will get to them.

In the meantime: some definitions to help push through the jungle.

Print on Demand

A business model
Prints after orders are received
Non-returnable books

Trade Paperback

Whole-copy returnable paperback
Usually 6"x9" trim size, but can be the same size as mass-market paperback ("rack-size trade paperback")
Intended for bookstore sales

Mass-Market Paperback

Stripped rather than returned
Intended for non-bookstore outlets (news stand, grocery store, etc.)
Distributed in the same way (and often by the same companies) as magazines and newspapers

Digital Printing

A technology
Converts a digital file to a finished book one at a time using a machine such as a Xerox Docutech
Low setup cost
High per-unit cost
No economy of scale

Offset Printing

A technology
Uses large presses and photographic plates to create many books rapidly
High setup cost
Low per-unit cost
Major economy of scale

Vanity Publication

A business model
Author pays the cost of publication plus a percentage to the publisher
Publisher has title to the physical books on the day they're printed

Self Publication

A business model
Author pays the cost of publication
Author has title to the physical books on the day they're printed

Traditional Publishing

A business model
Prints before orders are received
Returnable/strippable books
Publisher pays author for rights to publish
Publisher has title to the physical books on the day they're printed

By the way, what are the implications of an incorrect Copyright statement in a book and do I have some kind of collector's piece on my hands?

Dunno -- but you might have a novel plot on your hands....

I know I've been slacking, and I owe a whole bunch of replies here (as well as the Firedoor Theory of Novel Construction), but:

For ammolsb ...

You might as well ask me "How long is a piece of rope?" Being able to write and publish two novels per year is a heck of an ambition. Sure, it can be done (I've done it), but I can't say how much you'll earn. What genre? What publisher? How are your sales?

Short answer: Plan on zero. That way you'll only get happy surprises.

I think it's intensely interesting to dissect what makes that the case, and how just a few wording changes can result in such a drastically different feel.

This is why I say that you have to go through your book word-by-word and make every word justify its existence. Some people are naturals -- I can't help them, I can't hurt them. Me, I'm not a natural. I have to think about everything (though I only do it in second and subsequent drafts).

The first draft is for getting the story in place. If you don't have a story, you don't have a novel.

Lots of other things to talk about, no time to talk about 'em. For me, the "and then" discussion is a religious one, so there's no point talking about it. I'd originally offered it as an example of one of my eccentricities.

On suspense, and openings:

Consider the film D.O.A.. The protagonist has to figure out who murdered him. (He's been given a poison that has no cure, that hasn't killed him yet, but gives him limited time to discover whodunnit.) Consider the books that are one long flashback, after a present-time opening paragraph. Consider a change in POV character or narrative voice.

There's no one right way to do this. You as the artist will decide which is the best way for you,for your book. Try different versions in different drafts. See which read better. You don't get a prize for "almost works."

Much earlier in this thread, Uncle Jim disagreed firmly.

I still disagree firmly. The "and then" word cluster is always and everywhere wrong, illogical, and unsupported by any valid laws of grammar.

"And then" can be used in dialog to show that the speaker is illogical, ungrammatical, and wrong.

Good list, Ptom....

I put up the first two pages of a couple of Grisham novels (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.to pic&start=1941&stop=1960) a while back, and never did anything with 'em (though I'd intended to).

Does anyone want to take a whack at analysing those two excerpts in light of the breakout novel "page turner" checklist?

(If the readers haven't turned pages one and two, odds are they won't be turning pages three, four, or a hundred-and-four either.)

In The Summons, our protagonist won't get around to opening that darned letter for another two pages.

Oh, and Tammy? Interlibrary loan really is your friend. I live in a town of 2,500 (55 miles by road from the nearest bookstore) -- and I can get anything I want.

In the case of The Street Lawyer, the character's problems go from "Oooo, I'm standing next to a smelly bum," to "How do I get the smelly bum out of the office?" to "How do I avoid getting shot in the head?" all inside two pages.

I'm confused there, Jim --

What't the difference between putting a hook in the first paragraph, and engaging our curiosity in the first paragraph?

MacAllister

02-21-2005, 01:38 AM

James D. Macdonald

Learn Writing With Uncle Jim

September 2004

I'm not at my usual computer; I'm enroute to WorldCon right now (see some of you there!).

Briefly --

First page of novel that has parts:

===========
Your name
Address
City, State, ZIP
(Phone)/Email

Title
by
Name

Part One

Chapter One

He was a dark and stormy knight....

===================

Formatting is not such an exact thing that people will sneer at you for not having the precisely "right" number of spaces between the chapter heading and the first line of text. What I'd do in that case is put "Part One" where normally I'd put "Chapter One," then double-space, put "Chapter One," then double-space, indent, and start the story.
=========

You get into the pathetic fallacy when you say something like "She felt the angry muzzle of the gun pressed into her side." Even then, I can see using phrases like that for spice. Just don't over-do it, and make sure that it reveals character.

(Side note: when discussing hypothetical phrasings, recall that the paragraph is the smallest unit of your story. Look at the sentence in a paragraph to see how it sounds and how it flows.)

========

In third person, the narrator can see everything, but can only enter one person's head at a time. You can say "Ralph felt himself coloring" or "Irene blushed" without breaking POV if you're in Ralph's head (provided Ralph can see Irene).

=============

I promise to come back and do much fuller comments on stuff all the way back to the Grisham, soon.

And I still owe y'all the Firedoor Theory of Novel Construction.
What do you mean by a "set piece"?

For me, a set piece is a special/spectacular action section that functions pretty-much as a unit, while foreshadowing is preparing the reader for events that will happen later, so the reader won't be blindsided. (Readers hate surprises.)

You're constantly doing foreshadowing.

It sounds like the space you're seeing after the quote mark is part of the quote-mark itself -- since it's monospaced it isn't closed up to the following character as closely.

No, a 450 page manuscript in Courier 12 won't scare an editor even if it's only 86,000 words. What will scare him is if those words aren't the right words.

There's still a lot of hand work with pencils that takes place on our manuscripts. Those pencil marks take room. Give the editor, line editor, copy editor, and proofreader some space to work with.

We just sold a book on proposal (three-and-an-outline) to Avon/EOS. $40K advance. Now we just have to write the darned thing. The working title is The Land of Mist and Snow.

Here's the first chapter. Remember, this is unedited first draft.

Chapter One

In the winter of 1862 I was an idler; assigned to the War Department office at 88 Whitehall Street in the city of New-York after my ship, USS Tisdale, burned when the Rebels took Norfolk.

Time weighed heavily on me, for while my brother officers were gaining rank and experiencing sea-time in maintaining the blockade and chasing the raiders, I was filing papers in an obscure office. I feared that my career would be stalled, if not derailed entirely, the goal of command at sea forever placed beyond my reach.

So it was that a messenger found me laboring at my desk, checking one long bureaucratic list against another, an envelope from the Navy Department in his hand with my name on the front. I fairly tore the envelope from his hand and opened it.

What it contained was indeed the answer to my nightly prayer. I was detached immediately from my current assignment to travel by fastest available means to the Naval Arsenal at Watervliet, to inspect and take possession of a dozen ten-inch Rodman guns, thence to accompany them to the place where USS Nicodemus might lie, there to take my position as head of her gunnery department. Nicodemus was new construction; I would be a plank owner. Nicodemus, I was informed, was even then fitting out in preparation of her sea trials.

The remainder of the morning I spent in checking out of my temporary billet, drawing my health and pay records, and turning over my responsibilities to a hapless civilian clerk.

I had been staying at a hotel under per diem. I lost no time in packing, and the afternoon saw me at the Hudson River Railroad station in my dress blue uniform, purchasing a ticket to Albany. Spring approached; dusk fell later each day, but it was still full dark before a carriage deposited me at the gates of the arsenal.

A Marine guard directed me to the duty officer, who saw to my placement in the Bachelor Officer Quarters. There I said my prayers and went to sleep, wondering what kind of craft Nicodemus might be. I had not heard of her before, though in an eddying backwater such as my office at Whitehall Street that would not be a surprise. Still, a sloop of war mounting a broadside of six Rodmans and, I supposed, lesser pieces besides, would be impressive enough. I was well satisfied with my prospects.

Morning found me in the Arsenal commander's office, presenting my compliments and my orders. The commander, a pleasant enough fellow named Winchell who had preceded me by two years at the Academy, greeted me and offered to accompany me himself on my inspection tour of the guns. I felt it was hardly my place to refuse, and I was just as glad to talk again with a sailor; my previous tour had placed my among civilians and invalided Army men, landsmen all.

As it turned out, he wanted to do more than talk of mutual acquaintances while showing off his command to an outsider. He wanted to pump me for information, information that I sadly lacked, and which baffled me as well.

"You see, Johnny," he said as we entered the sheds facing the Hudson where the guns stood, "they're cast to spec, though why the devil the specs were written that way eludes me."

The guns stood in a burnished rank, gleaming the yellow-gold of brass.

"Brass cannon," I said.

"Yes, brass, as ordered," Winchell said, and here he gestured to a chief petty officer standing by, the crossed cannon of the gunners mate on his right sleeve. "And virgin brass too; never before cast into any other shape."

The chief strode over and presented his leader with a sheaf of paper, which he reviewed, then handed to me. It was the casting history of each of the Rodmans, from the first smelting of the copper and zinc to the present.

I checked over the cannon carefully. I was no stranger to ordnance; the lives of myself and my shipmates, not to mention the defeat of our enemies, were dependent on the flawless construction and operation of the cannon. I requested an inspection mirror and a light, and examined every inch of the barrels, inside and out. They did in fact seem flawless.

I turned to Winchell at length. "You can be proud of your work," I said.

"Do you wish to examine the ammunition as well?" he inquired.

"To the same specifications?" said I.

"The same, virgin brass."

"I can't believe it will be necessary to handle each ball," I said, which brought a smile to his lips. Winchell gave orders that the cannon were to be crated and loaded on a barge for transport. He then invited me to join him for a belated lunch. I accepted with pleasure.

Over cigars at the officers' club, I made bold to breach the question directly.

"Where is it that these guns that I just signed for are to be shipped?"

"To Brooklyn, for the Navy Yard. So say the lading documents. They are being loaded onto a barge even now. A steam tug will tow them. Beyond that, I know nothing."

Across the river in Manhattan I had not heard of a ship under construction that required brass cannon. I asked Winchell directly if he had ever heard of such a vessel.

"No, indeed not. But I can scarcely hear of everything. Perhaps she's been laid in Boston."

"Perhaps."

He kindly walked me to the barge at quayside where my dozen Rodmans, neatly crated, now lay side by side on a barge. Crates that I supposed contained brass shot filled a second barge. We shook hands, saluted, and I presented my orders to the master of the civilian tug that was to take me down the river that I had only lately ascended. The pilothouse of the tug was cramped, and the smell of the engines pervasive, but I eagerly accepted the offer to make the journey there.

A brisk wind was blowing, and the slush turning to ice, while the sun dipped toward the western hills. A young enlisted man brought my seabag from my quarters and laid it on the fantail of the tug, lashed to the rail. Towing hawsers were made fast to the barges, and with our whistles screaming out we made way down river. The sun set as we steamed along, the lighthouses of the Hudson illuminated, as we made our way to the East River of Manhattan and to the Navy Yard on its eastern shore.

We came alongside a brig, TRIUMPH lettered on her sternboard in gold leaf, where we were evidently expected, for the watch soon appeared with a lantern, a ladder dropped to our deck, and a working party swung out booms to load the cargo from the barge to the brig's hold.

I clambered up the ladder, my boat cloak swirling around me, to salute the quarterdeck and the officer of the deck.

The degree of activity surprised me, and I said as much, for I had expected the guns to be loaded at first light, no sooner, for the night was a dark and a bitter one.

"Dark and cold, you'll get used to 'em where you're going," the officer said. "We sail with the tide or miss a day, and that won't make the old man happy, not a bit."

He concluded reading my orders by the binnacle lamp, then handed them back to me and instructed the messenger of the watch to take me below and show me to the captain's quarters, then to my own.

The captain, as it turned out, was "Uncle Joe" Suffern, of whom I had heard good report. He was a seaman's seaman, and a fighting captain. Why he was assigned to such a small vessel and such an insignificant role as running coastwise cargo I could not then imagine.

"Last of the Nicodemus wardroom," he said, having offered me a seat in his cabin and a glass of port. "I envy you. The outfitting should be done soon. I imagine sea trials shortly."

"Nicodemus, sir?"

"You are not aware? You and your guns are being transshipped to the Naval Experimental Shipyard, Thule."

"I confess that I've never heard of that shipyard, sir."

"Neither had I, until I was assigned to run cargo there. Not to breathe a word about the place to anyone, not even to a sweetheart or a wife, those are our instructions."

"What can you tell me about Nicodemus?" I asked.

"Nothing," he replied, "for I have not seen her myself, though I have been involved in her construction for over a year now."

Our conversation was interrupted by a messenger who announced the loading complete and the cargo made fast for sea. Captain Suffern excused himself, directed the boy to show me to my cabin, and took to the deck. I followed the messenger toward the waist, where I was to be placed in a cabin shared with another lieutenant. My seabag was already there, lying on the deck beside a stanchion.

I traded my boat cloak for a short jacket of thick wool and ascended the ladder to the main deck. The boatswain piped single up all lines, and the crew, well drilled, hurried silently to obey.

"Cast off," came a voice from the quarterdeck, and the line-handling party on the pier dropped the mooring lines from the bollards. The same tug that had carried the guns from Watervliet pulled us stern first into the stream, then cast off.

We hoisted sail, and beneath topgallants and the glittering stars passed beneath the Battery. I could see the War Department building, one window on the top floor illuminated by the lantern of a late worker. I imagined that it might be my relief burning the midnight oil and raised my hat to him as we passed.

As we entered the Narrows the word was passed to make full sail, and the little brig fairly bounded forward under a fresh breeze. By sunrise we were out of sight of land, the ship's head east by north, shaping a course for who knew where.

#

Although I was not slightly obligated to do so, I had myself placed on the watch bill, and stood my watches on the quarterdeck observing the sea, listening to the crack of canvas, hearing the groans of the cordage and tasting the salt spray on my lips.

The high North Atlantic is no easy sea, nor was this passage completely peaceful. For twenty-four hours we battled mountainous seas under storm-jib alone, while Uncle Joe stood on the quarterdeck as if he were rooted there, using all his skill to see us through.

Still, a week and a day after our departure from New York, light came without a sun, and we sailed through chilling mist so thick that it might be cotton wool; so thick that the foremast was not visible from the wheel, the sails dropping and the only sound the bell struck by the quartermaster as he turned the glass each half hour.

"We're close now," Uncle Joe said, and instructed the Boatswain to commence sounding. Thus we proceeded, making bare steerageway, for most of the day, the fog never lifting, but occasional bits of ice floating by on the sullen swell.

Toward the end of the forenoon watch, a voice from out of the mist cried "Ship ahoy!" and the lookout sang back, "United States Brig Triumph!"

With a plash of oars a cutter came alongside and passed us a line, and within an hour, as dark was falling, I found myself standing on a wooden pier attached to a stony shore. Through the mist nothing else could be seen save a warehouse, a heap of coal, and, incredibly, an ornate railway station. A single track ran beside it, and a locomotive attached to a passenger car and ten flatcars stood waiting.

I entered the station in search of both warmth and enlightenment. Once within, I was gratified to find a jolly pot-bellied stove nearly red from the fire that burned inside it, and a Navy petty officer sitting at a desk. I saw that his hat bore the ribbon "Nicodemus", so I strode up to him and enquired where the ship of that name might be found, that I might present my orders.

"A bit of a trip yet, sir," he replied. "First, I must ask if you are carrying any gold or silver or any items made of iron."

"Why, yes, all three," I said.

"Before you can board the train for the yards," the man said, "I must ask you to leave them here. For your silver and gold money I will exchange greenbacks. For watches and rings you will be given a receipt. As well as your sword, any pistols, and so on."

This was most unusual, but in the course of my career the Navy had asked many unusual things of me. The man was sober and serious in aspect, so I complied.

"I suppose the nails in my boots will pass muster?" I said with a smile.

"No, sir. I must ask you to leave them behind as well. We've felt boots, sir, and warmer they are than standard issue." He reached beneath his desk and pulled out a pair. "Here, sir, let me make your receipt, and I'll put all your goods in the lockroom with the rest."

I passed through the other door of the station to the platform, and onto the passenger car. The words "Department of the Navy, Thule Shipyards," were painted along its side. I could see my brass cannon being loaded onto the flatcars. At last I was to find out what manner of vessel I had been assigned to, and whence the mystery. I noted that the locomotive also was made of brass, as were the rails on which it stood.

Without my watch I could no longer tell the elapsed time, but it was not much longer ere the locomotive gave a lurch and we were underway.

I was the only officer in the railway car. Some half-dozen other men rode with me, bluejackets wearing the uniform of Nicodemus and the sullen expressions of men returning from liberty. If that railway station was the only place they had to go for entertainment, small wonder that they looked dour. I did not speak to them, nor they to each other, and truth to say I dozed. I suppose the trip lasted some hours.

Nights are long in the far northern latitudes, and it was still dark when a whistle from the locomotive and a slowing of the train announced that we were nearing our destination.

With a final chuff of steam and squeal of brakes we came to a halt. I stood, shouldering my bag, and stepped from the car. The air was thick with mist, and curiously lighted. A pervasive glare surrounded the station, a twin to the one where I had embarked. I soon saw that it came from gas lamps set on poles, one every twenty feet or so.

I walked back along the platform to inspect my cargo. The crates were covered by a rime of ice perhaps an inch and a half thick. Even as I watched, a working party appeared, ghostlike in the fog, with wagons and teams of horses, their breaths steaming into the mist. They began working to shift the crates. The utter rapidity of all the evolutions I had witnessed so far, combined with the silence in which they labored, impressed me.

The liberty party had by this time debarked the train as well to shuffle through the station. I turned to follow them. I had no desire to get lost in the cold and fog on an unfamiliar base.

Wherever they went, they went quickly, without the roistering that is almost universal at fleet landing. What I found on the other side of the station was a long wall, half again as tall as a man, broken by a gate whose lintel bore the words: THULE EXPERIMENTAL SHIPYARD, then, in smaller letters below, Authorized Personnel Only.

How likely is it, I asked myself, that unauthorized people will find themselves standing here? Indeed, it seemed to me that I stood at the edge of the world.

For all the ferocity of the sign, no guard stood at the gate for me to present my orders to. Nor was there a sign of the group of sailors I had been following. The mist had swallowed them. The light was brighter here, though, and ahead of me I thought I could make out a tapping sound, though what could be producing it I could not tell.

Since my eyes told me nothing, I decided to follow my ears. The ground was all of clean snow, but trampled flat in a welter of footprints leading in every direction.

The fog was thick, as I mentioned. I could scarcely see the poles holding the lights before bumping into one. But the tapping sound ahead of me grew louder, so I persevered. My cheeks were stinging with the cold, and my lungs hurt with the effort of breathing.

Before long I perceived that I was no longer walking on trampled snow but on ice, perfectly smooth. And then I came to the source of the sound: a party of sailors, swinging picks, chipping away at the edge of the ice. Beyond then was black water, and beyond that the smooth sides of a ship. The line of sailors went out of my sight to the right and left. Among them were some with long-handled rakes. When a piece of ice was chipped free, it was swept up and away.

I turned to my right and walked behind the sailors as they engaged in their peculiar task. It seemed as though they were endlessly laboring to keep the ice away from the sides of the vessel. I walked sixty paces before the line turned, a ninety-degrees to the left, and I followed it to pass under the ship's bows, then thirty paces after another corner. A third corner took me under her stern. I was not surprised to see the name Nicodemus painted in dull gold on the sternboard. Another turn and thirty more paces brought me to where I supposed I had started, without a clue as to how to get aboard the ship. No brow, ladder, or companionway had appeared during my circuit, nor had I seen a boat in the water.

At that moment I saw a light moving on the deck above me, so I sang out, "Hello the ship!"

"Aye aye!" came the answer.

"Lieutenant John Nevis, United States Navy, reporting as ordered for duty aboard USS Nicodemus," I shouted back.

"Oh, bugger," replied the voice. "Go to the house and report to the captain in the morning."

"Bugger yourself," I called back, cold, tired, and annoyed. "I haven't a clue where this house might be."

"Hopkins, take the lieutenant in tow and stow him away, would you?" the voice called. A moment later, a young sailor stepped up beside me, saluted, and reached for my seabag.

"You'll learn your way around here quick enough, sir," he said. "But you might as well know that they don't do things here the way they do anywhere else in the fleet."

That I could well believe, though I had no desire to show over-familiarity with the enlisted by telling him so. I believe Hopkins understood my silence, for without another word he shouldered my bag and started off. I followed, from the ice to a slope, all snow covered, and thence to the porch of a pleasant house of clapboard, its shutters closed tight against the night.

"Here you are, sir," Hopkins said, saluted, then faded away into the fog. For my part I returned the salute, turned the knob, and pushed into the vestibule. The three officers inside the house quickly introduced themselves: Lieutenant Dodge, Lieutenant Vincent, and Passed Midshipman Seaton, all line officers.

"Come," said Lieutenant Dodge after I had introduced myself. "You must be half frozen and completely tired after your journey. Let me show you to your cabin here ashore."

"Gladly," I replied. "But first, tell me, what manner of place is this?"

"The God-damnedest shipyard that I've ever seen," Dodge replied. "If the Navy needed to build in a dark, cold, and cheerless place, the Charlestown or Portsmouth yards would have served the purpose quite adequately. Lovely duty here; there's a girl behind every tree."

"I did not see any trees . . . ." I began, then quieted.

Dodge shouldered my seabag, and led the way up the stairs to a corridor on the upper floor. Seaton followed with a kerosene lamp. He opened the first door on the right, and we all followed in.

The furnishings were spare, but adequate, with two narrow beds, a washstand, two desks, two chairs, and two wardrobes. A register in the floor let heat from the fire below flow up, though not much of it; the exterior wall's inner face glittered with ice.

"This bunk is mine," Dodge said, pointing to the one closest to the window, "and that press. Stow your gear where you will." He lighted a candle from the lamp, then he and Seaton departed, pulling the door to behind them.

I could see my breath in the air of the room. Nevertheless, the bed looked entirely inviting. I stood my seabag in the wardrobe, hung my clothing over the back of a chair, blew out the candle and by feel alone crawled between the cold sheets. I said my prayers while curled in a ball, only my nose sticking out, and soon fell asleep.

What seemed an instant later, a tremendous hammering fell on the door. I started upright. The window was as black as it had been when I arrived.

Before I could say a word, an enlisted man in a peacoat and gloves entered, and placed a lighted lamp on the near desk.

"Good morning sir," he said, but did not stay for reply, instead tramping out and shutting the door behind him.

I rose and dressed, wearing the same clothes I had traveled in, and with the lamp descended to the drawing room where I had encountered the other three officers the night before.

Some hours had apparently passed. The card party had been cleared away, and the three officers I had met the night before were dressed with coats and gloves of their own. My own coat was over my arm, and I donned it now, placing the lamp on the table.

Two other officers had joined the others I already knew, bringing our company to six.

"Ah, there you are," Dodge said. He had been consulting a wheelbook, which he replaced in his inner pocket as I arrived. "Off to break our fast. Join us?"

"With pleasure," I said, for my last meal had been a hasty one while still coming to land the day before.

"Come on, then."

The six of us went out of the door, down the steps, and made our way in a gaggle across the creaking snow to a long and low structure, where smoke rose from chimneys at each end and a line of windows glowed yellow.

We entered, and, Dodge in the lead, walked between tables with benches, filled with sailors all eating their morning portions. We proceeded to a spot half-way down, where a thin partition set off a single table with chairs.

One officer was already there, a sheaf of papers under his hand, ship's plans. He looked up when we all arrived, rolling them and placing them in a case leaning against the partition.

"Welcome to the mess," Dodge said. "Time for introductions all around."

These were quickly performed. The gentlemen I had not met the evening before were two more passed midshipmen, by the names of Williams and Bash, and the officer who had met us was a lieutenant named Cromwell. I was given to know that he was the engineer of Nicodemus.

"I viewed the ship briefly on my arrival," I said to Cromwell, "and did not see sidewheels or a sternwheel on her. Will you be using an Ericsson screw, or are the wheels not yet mounted?"

"Propulsion is no concern of yours," was all he replied.

That's "first draft" as in "may have major changes after we get to THE END."

This first chapter is roughly 1/3 the length of the first get-the-words-on-the-page draft. That draft ended in a different place, had false starts, mounds of detail that were cut with huge sweeping red-pencil marks, and otherwise was a mess.

Alas, I no longer have the first version of the chapter.

I do have some very-first-draft around here, though... which I will post if I'm ever feeling particularly masochistic.

Yep, 5,000 to 10,000 copies is a reasonable number to expect for a first novel.

With a first novel, you'd be lucky to get into 50 bookstores.

Sez who? Your publisher has a full-time marketing department trying to get all of their books into every bookstore in the country.

(If your publisher doesn't have that marketing department, why are they your publisher?)

First novels can get wider distribution than second or third novels. Hard to believe, but true.

Off the top of my head, that sounds a lot like TELL, TELL, TELL.

Well, yeah. That's what description is. Balancing act, that's what this art is.

Pick the significant details, give them, let the readers fill in the rest according to their experiences and needs.

How do you avoid that second and third book letdown because the first one only had average sales?

It isn't that the first book only had average sales. The first book's sales are what they are; no one holds 'em against the author.

The problem comes if the second book's sales aren't better than the first book's. A rising curve is good, a falling one is bad. You see the logic.

What do you do then?

Write your third book under a pseudonym, accept a first-author advance, and try again.

The editors aren't fooled; they know who you are. The bookstores aren't fooled. The readers aren't fooled. But that's the way it works.

Remember the theater owner in Shakespeare in Love (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00001U0E1/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) saying "It's a mystery"?

It's a mystery.

(Note: If the first book Really Tanks, not just average sales but abysmal sales, the time to change your name and enter the DAW Books Witness Protection Program comes a bit sooner.)

(Note Two: Some people run two or three pseudonyms simultaneously, so that if one of their names isn't having a great career they can switch their efforts to a name that's doing better, rather than having to start as a "new author" again.)

(Note Three: If one of your names does Very Well Indeed, your earlier books under your other names can be reprinted as "By Joe Buffalo, Writing As Fred Finque." In case you ever wondered what that sort of byline was all about.)

I wonder if I'm going to have to explain the Death Spiral soon?

At least in my state you can use any name you want, so long as you don't have fraudulent intent.

Now ... usually, you put the pseudonym you want to use in the byline, with your real name in the address block.

If you're trying to keep the whole thing secret from the publishers, have your agent submit the story under your pseudonym (that's how "Christopher Pike," the YA Horror novelist, did it).

Don't imagine that when you submit your novel, that's the last you'll be talking to the editor until you see it in the bookstores. You'll have lots of opportunities to discuss what name you want on the cover.

================

Now about the Death Spiral. This comes from some chain bookstores' practice of Ordering To Net.

Say we have a happy young author named Anthony Aardvark. He's written a swell little mystery called Up Your Nose With a Rubber Hose, it's being published, and all's well.

The big chains see a new author. They don't know how he'll do, maybe he'll be the next John Grisham? Who knows? They order 10,000 copies for their various stores. (The books are returnable, so it doesn't hurt them to do it.)

Publishers often set printings based on pre-orders. 10,000 copies get printed, plus a few extra to take care of the indies and such.

Up Your Nose With a Rubber Hose comes out, and gets an 80% sell-through (which is pretty good).

(Sell-through is the number sold divided by the number shelved, times 100%.)

That is to say, 10,000 were shelved, 8,000 were sold. (The rest were returned for credit.)

Now Mr. Aardvark submits his next novel, In Your Eye With A Lemon Pie. The last one sold pretty well, he's gotten a slightly higher advance, all's seemingly well ... but the chains are Ordering To Net. 8,000 sold last time, so they only order 8,000 this time. That's where the printing is set.

Again, Mr. Aardvark gets an 80% sell-through; 6,400 are sold.

He submits his third book, Down Your Throat With A Motorboat. The chains are still Ordering To Net, so they only order 6,400. (Notice that there aren't enough copies to go on the shelves in all the bookstores where Rubber Hose was shelved -- readers there who liked the first book and would buy the next book by that author don't find it, don't buy it, and pick up some other book instead.) The publisher only prints, perhaps, 7,000. Out they go, there's an 80% sell-through (still a good sell-through number), and 5,120 are sold.

Mr. Aardvark submits In Your Hand With A Rubber Band. The chains will only preorder 5,120 -- it isn't worth the publisher's time to print so few -- so Mr. Aardvark is released from his contract. The good news is that he keeps the advance. The bad news is that any time his name pops up, the computers at the chain store say "order 5,120 copies."

What can he do? He changes his name to Basil Basingstoke, and submits In Your Hand With A Rubber Band under a new title with his new name. He only gets a first-novel sized advance, but! The chains, seeing a New Author, figure that this guy could be the Next John Grisham, and preorder 10,000 copies of The Rubber Band Affair by Basil Basingstoke.

(Perhaps some of Mr. Aardvark's fans will complain on Usenet that Basil Basingstoke is just a cheap Aardvark ripoff. Perhaps not.)

So that's one of the Horrid Things that can happen to authors.
Yeah, Emerald, just one. You want to hear some of the bad stuff?

Meanwhile....

Just out in paperback reprint is this anthology (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0765340046/ref=nosim/0765340046/madhousemanor/) with a story by handsome and witty <blink>me</blink> in it.

Buy one! Better still, buy a dozen! They make excellent gifts! Everyone in your whole family wants a copy!

Nah. If I'd said "Everyone in my family wants a copy," then it would be a candidate for PA.

Technical note: On ezboard, square brackets will get you a font change. Angle brackets will get you angle brackets.

Only if, for some reason, the radio button in the reply window got changed from HTML to ezCodes.

Uncle Jim, how does one get past the death spiral problem....

First, write and sell a book a year. Every time a new book comes out, the publisher will resolicit the other books you have with them. They'll order your new book to net, and perhaps a few more of the older ones. (Little known but true: two books side by side by the same author make both of them more likely to sell than a singleton.) All of those sales count for the "net" for the book after that.

Second, with any kind of luck, your book will sell more than were printed and ordered. The book goes back to press, to fill the orders from the bookstores. (If a book sells out, they'll order more.) It doesn't have to happen in every store, just enough stores. How many stores is "enough" is a secret that the big chains don't share.

Third, bring out other books from different publishers. Say poor Anthony up there had two different novels come out from two different publishers. The chains order both to net, but it's separately: 8,000 of one, 8,000 of another. Those have an 80% sell-through, it's 12,800 sold total, but they're both listed under Anthony's name -- so whatever novel he sells next will get 12,800 preorders, with print runs set accordingly.

All books that go to your name count. Having multiple books in print simultaneously is your goal.

Does this tell against the slow writers? Yeah.

The other way is to break out, to have a runaway best seller. Lightning strikes. That's in the hands of the readers, the darlings.

Here's the anthology with the story whose first scene (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=83576&postcount=1289) I ran (and analysed) a while back in this thread.

It's out now.

<A href="http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/murder_magic.htm" "target="_new">Murder by Magic

"How do novelists in the UK (like J K Rowling) get around that if they only produce books for one publisher?"

Two things: She's a break-out best seller, and she's writing a book a year.

[Update:] Oops! I thought you were asking how J. K. avoided the Death Spiral. Sorry!

How do you approach a romance between your characters?

The same way I approach any interpersonal actions with my characters. Interesting characters doing interesting things.

What exactly is the aim of this romantic subplot? Does it support the main plot? Why do you feel you need it?

The general rule still holds: If it isn't working, take it out.

Whew, Publishorperish, that's a tall order. (I've been trying to answer this question for the last hundred odd pages here.)

A novel isn't just a Really Long Short Story.

One way to write a novel would be to just start. Write every day, and when you come to "The End" around page 300, you have a novel. Then you revise the snot out of it.

This is as good a place as any for me to put in the Fire Door Theory of Novels.

Imagine a guy sitting in a movie theatre, enjoying the show. For some reason he gets up and walks out the exit door. It slams shut behind him, and locks. He can't get back into that movie, and for him that show is over.

That's the point where your novel starts.

He wanders around looking for a new movie. He goes in, perhaps after some trouble finding a theatre, he catches some of the middle of another movie. But he isn't enjoying it. He walks out the exit, the door slams shut, he can't go back. But it's dark, cold, and raining outside. Maybe that movie wasn't that bad -- but there's no going back.

You're now in the middle of your novel.

Our hero wanders more, finds a friend who knows where there's a show he'd really like, loans him money and dry socks, and together they sit down in another really good movie just as the opening titles start.

That's the climax of your book.

Maybe that works for you, maybe it doesn't, but that's one way to look at the shape of your novel.

(Failing that, put an interesting person in an interesting place, give that person an problem, then follow him or her around until all the problems that arise are solved.)

(This is also the time for me to say, Start at the Beginning of this thread and read forward. Lots of good stuff in here.)

Welcome, Elizabeth!

Sometimes I wonder if I should do an index to this thread.

Other times I wonder about extracting the good parts into a single file, an e-book or summat.

Then I look at everything else I have to do and put off doing anything.

Again, welcome.

People who are looking for copies of Murder by Magic can see if it's on the shelf of your local Borders bookstore by using the <A href="http://www.bordersstores.com/search/search.jsp?tt=gn" target="_new">locator at <A href="http://www.bordersstores.com">www.bordersstores.com

(Yeah, yeah, I know, it's shameless self-promotion, but hey, I'm an author. I'm allowed.)

ISBN 0446679623

You can use that same locator to look for your favorite books, too. Your other favorite books.
MURDER BY MAGIC isn't over at Amazon.com, I've noticed.

Amazon is scrod again. As usual. Borders has it, Barnes & Noble has it, Powell's has it. What can I tell you?

(I don't see another dime unless the book earns out, and after that it's a pro-rated share of 50% of the royalties. Number of pages in my story divided by number of pages in the anthology times 100%, times 1/2 of the money. Short stories aren't how you get rich. You do 'em for love, or for practice, or to do something that you can't get away with in a novel.)

(I do have a funny story about that. My elder son wanted a mountain bike for his birthday (this was some years back). Well, household finances didn't look like that ... then the day before his birthday we got a check, royalties from a short story in an anthology. $800. Wow. We took that as a Sign From On High that he was supposed to get that bike, and so he did.)

(That story was "Uncle Joshua and the Grooglemen," currently reprinted in New Skies (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/new_skies.htm), available in both hardback and paperback. Buy one! Better still, buy a dozen! Do your Christmas Shopping Way Early!)

The next anthology with one of our stories in it is scheduled for February.

Now there was something else I was going to talk about tonight, but I've been overcome by a gloomy thought: By the time he was my age, Edgar Allan Poe had been dead for ten years -- and by then he'd invented the modern short story, the science fiction story, and the detective story.

"Your first power is in your choice as to where you put your greatest attention."

That's a really great saying.

(After that, at least with writing, it's where to direct the readers' attention.)

We did several comic books, back a few years ago (and scripted and got paid for more that never came out -- volatile business, comics).

We can see several similarities between comics and novels, though, other than the obvious one that both tell stories.

You have your dialog. That's in balloons.
You have your narration. That's in the little square boxes.
You have your description. That's in the pictures.

You have your point of view -- this is quite literal.

And in comics, as in novels, the amount of detail is related to the narrative speed. When things are going fast, look at your illustration. It's far less detailed. In the slower sections, amount of detail picks up.

...rejected by her publisher as too different from her usual humourous chick lit style.

That's definite Pseudonym Time. I have different pen names that I use for various genres, because I don't want to confuse the readers.

I'm not the only one who does that, either.

Mind if I join in?

Welcome to the party!

(I'm a volunteer EMT, myself.)

Get comfy. Here's a beer. If you want to come out from under your Lurk Hood, would you like to mention the names of your novels?

(It's really true, folks: it's harder to sell a third or fourth novel than it is to sell a first one.)

This isn't for you, specifically, but your comments reminded me that I was going to recommend a couple of articles to y'all:

<A href="http://www.sfwa.org/writing/restart.htm" target="_new">Jump-Starting a Stalled (Or Dead) Career

<A href="http://www.sfwa.org/bulletin/articles/stalled.htm" target="_new">Stalled Careers, Writer's Block, and Monsters Under the Bed

Those are far better bits of advice than Jane Doe Austen's whiney article in Salon ever offered.

Then the guy who was pestering the hero so much in the first movie shows up and tries to weasle in on the hero's date ...

Sure, why not?

The important thing isn't that we're at the movies, the important thing is the firedoor.

Y'see, there has to be a set of defining "you can't go back" moments in the book. Ones where status quo antes isn't an option. One where the protagonists can't say, "To heck with this" and go back to their seats and be passive.

Take Moby-Dick for an example. One firedoor is when the Pequod pulls away from the shore. At that moment Ishmael can't go back to being a schoolteacher. A second firedoor is when Ahab appears, and forces the crew to swear that they will sail 'round the shores of Hell itself, but they will catch the white whale. The third firedoor might be when Moby-Dick is sighted and the crew launches its boats.

The protagonist does something. He or she is in motion. (Note: this can be purely symbolic or psychological motion, but motion there must be.) The protagonist has choices, and "Screw this, let's get some popcorn" isn't one of them. The door has closed.

But are there other things to consider?

Rising sales curves are the master item, of course, but:

Publish with more than one publisher.

Keep short stories coming, to keep your name fresh, and introduce you to new readers. (The number one reason someone buys a book is because they've read and enjoyed a previous work by the same author. This previous work can be a short story.)

Be willing to accept a lower advance from a publisher who can promote your work effectively, rather than a higher advance from one who may be less effective.

Keep the novels coming too.

And -- make every work your best work. Don't get lazy.

Beyond that, there's an element of luck. The public is fickle.

Hi, Beth --

I assume your works have all reverted?

Have you considered finding a smaller publisher who does reprints who'd like to have 'em? Somewhere amongst America's 4,000 small presses there has to be one.

But maybe not. The natural state of a book is Out Of Print. Time to change your name and restart?

...if it is Out of Print, I can still get it from the publisher?

No, you can't get it from the publisher. I expect that there's a Hidden Hoard in a warehouse. Does Amazon have a case in the back somewhere?

One of the Vicious Publisher Tricks, to avoid reverting a book, is to put a book Out of Stock (technically that's between printings ... but if this goes on too long, if it's permanently out of stock, it should be listed as Out of Print).

Your contract should have something in it about how long a publisher has to bring a book back into print after it's out of stock. When you have a book that's permanently out of stock, you order a copy direct from the publisher. If they can't provide it, and don't bring it back to print in the contracted time period, you can ask for the rights to revert. Then you can resell the work to another publisher.

(Note: The "rights" here aren't the copyright. You've kept that. This is the right to print in hardcover, in softcover, in North America, whatever rights were granted in the section of the contract cunningly labeled "Grant of Rights.")

Why a publisher might list a work as Out of Stock rather than Out of Print: to hold onto the rights, just in case you suddenly got hot and they wanted to bring out a big edition. This is yet another of the Horrors of the Literary Life that plague authors.

(One of the things agents do is keep track of these things, to either get back the rights so the book can be resold, or to press the publisher to return it to print, so that it's once again in the bookstores. The way publishing is supposed to work, the publisher can hold onto the rights only so long as they're actively selling the book. They stop selling, the author gets the rights back.)

We've turned short stories into novels on two occassions. In one, the short story turned into the first three chapters ... then continued. In the other the short story made up the central portion of the novel, and bore scant resemblence to the original.

Turning short stories into novels isn't the easiest thing I've ever done.

One of my fellow instructors at Viable Paradise (http://www.sff.net/paradise/) recommends Understanding Comics (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/006097625X/ref=nosim/madhousemanor) by Scott McCloud as an aide to understanding novels and stories in general.

What horror shall we talk about tonight, good friends?

How about "Reserve Against Returns."

Now you know, when you sell a book to a publisher, you get a nice monetary advance. (If you don't, you're either in Special Circumstances, or Working In the Bad Part of Town.)

Now this is an "advance," which is to say, an advance against royalties. A loan. When your book earns back that money and repays the loan, only then do you get additional checks. (This is the happy state known as "earning out.")

Now publishers don't like to write checks. This is an observable fact. (I know: I've written entire novels faster than they can write a check -- I can tell there's going to be another Sorrows of the Author's Life episode based on that.) So, to save themselves from writing any more checks than necessary, they try to figure things so that how much you'll probably earn in royalties is about equal to how much they pay you as an advance. If they're wrong, if your royalties don't pay back the advance, that's okay. You don't have to repay them. (And if someone wants you to pay back the unearned portion of the advance you are definitely in the Bad Part of Town.) (Next trivia point: It's entirely possible for publishers to make a profit on books that don't earn out. Don't ask why or attempt to understand it; only know that it is true.)

But suppose they're wrong in the other direction? Suppose you earn more than the advance. Happy day, right? Money in the pocket, let's go down to Burger King and it Supersized?

Not so fast, Bucko.

Remember, bookstores don't buy books, they only display them. At any moment they could return those books for credit. If the publisher has already paid you royalties for those books, then they lose. Publishers hate losing.

So, enter the Reserve Against Returns. This is money that you've earned, that they owe you, that they hold onto on the off chance that copies of those books will be returned and it'll turn out that they didn't owe you that money anyway. What the publishers know is how many copies they shipped -- they don't know what will come winging back.

Exactly what the reserve against returns is, is a secret. They won't tell you how big a reserve is being held. But due to my skill with correlating information, keen observation, and a drop or two of sodium pentathol, I have a fair idea of the numbers.

Before we continue, you need to know that royalties are generally paid semi-annually (in November and April), and that royalties are paid on the cover price of the book, regardless of what discount the publisher gave to the distributor or the bookstore. (There are exceptions to this, but they are small, minor, and rare.)

Now ... here you are, happy writer! You have gotten a $5,000 advance for your novel, against 10% royalties, and the book is selling for $10 a copy. And, in the very first royalty period (because your book is both briiliant and exactly what everyone wants for their birthday) some 5,000 copies sold. Joy, rapture! Your book's earned out, right?

Not so fast, bucko. Maybe it has, maybe it hasn't. Maybe every one of those people who go the book for their birthday will say "Yech!" and return it to the store. So the publisher figures, in the first royalty period, a 100% reserve against returns. No matter how many people bought, you aren't going to see a dime.

How about next royalty period?

They firgure a 75% reserve against returns. (Now they've already been paid for those 5,000 copies, and they've gone back to press and shipped more, but y'know? Maybe they'll be returned.) By now 10,000 copies have shipped, but the publisher says, "Hmmm ... could be returns, y'know" and only credits you with $2,500. Your book has been out for a year, and has brought in $10,000 in royalties, but sorry, chum, that advance still hasn't earned out.

Six months later, the reserve against returns is going to be 50%. Your book continues to sell, now 15,000 copies have shipped, but only $7,500 of the $15,000 you've brought in will be remitted to you (after subtracting the orginal advance, the publisher cuts you a check for $2,500. (He'd rather have the money in his account earning interest for him, than in your account paying for macaroni and cheese.)

Another six months -- your book's been out for two years now -- and the reserve against returns is down to 25%. Say you've sold another 5,000 copies in the last six months. That is to say, by now, 20,000 copies shipped, and you should have $20,000. But reserve! You're only credited with 15,000 of them, so your royalty check is $7,500.

Finally, next royalty period, the reserve against returns drops down to 0% (they've made tons of money off you; the publisher's paid off his yacht and his kid's braces). Say you sell another 5,000 this royalty period. By now you've sold 25,000 books, total, and only been paid $15,000. So now you catch up, with a nice check for $10,000. From now on, a book shipped is a dollar, and all's well.

Except this is a very unrealistic picture I've given you. A book that sells 10,000 a year for three years? Wonderful, but books tend to go out of print lots quicker than that. It isn't at all uncommon to get the final payment, the reserve that the publisher has been holding onto all that time, at the same time you get the notice that your book has gone out of print. When none are printed or shipped for a year, and they give back the rights, it's hard for 'em to argue that they're still waiting for returns.

Shall I talk about Basket Accounting?

That's when you sign a multi-book contract. In basket accounting, no book earns out until they all earn out. Anything above the advance that the first book brings in is applied to the unearned advance on the other books in the contract. You don't see a dime until after the entire advance for all the books is paid back.

So, anyway, that's the latest episode of As the Stomach Churns, the Horrors of the Literary Life.

Is it better then to sell them one at a time, even if you're planning a trilogy or series?

Yes, but see if you can.

Y'see, the publisher is betting that you'll do well -- so they try to get as many books as possible under contract all at once, so you're getting First-Timer advances on all of them. They get three books cheap, rather than your price going up each time.

(The happy fellow in the story above, who sold 25,000 books on his first novel with the $5,000 advance -- it would be reasonable for him to come back and ask for a $25,000 advance next time. But ... if the publisher was cagey and offered him a two-book contract for $10,000 ... would he say no to that? And they've just saved $20,000 on the next book's advance.)

Next hint: If you aren't ready to walk away from the table at any time, you don't have any business negotiating.

===========

It is possible to negotiate a multi-book contract that isn't basket accounted. Just be aware that for some publishers that might be a deal-breaker. That's where having an agent comes in handy. The agent should know what the clauses you can negotiate are, and which ones the publisher won't budge on.

How you represent a character's thoughts varies. Most commonly, I think, they're italicized, but as long as you're consistent, and the reader isn't confused about what's being spoken aloud and what's just being thought, it doesn't really matter.

Here's a suggestion: Pick up a recent book from a well-known author. Read it. See how he or she shows characters' thoughts. You do the same.

MacAllister

02-21-2005, 05:21 PM

Good friends --

What I've been up to lately ...

My mom died a week ago Wednesday, after a protracted illness (cancer). The funeral was Saturday, the interment Monday (1,200 miles away), and the reading of the will and appointing of the executor yesterday.

This has led me to be remiss in several of my commitments, posting in this thread not the least of them.

I'll be at Viable Paradise (http://www.sff.net/paradise/) all next week. When I get back, more activity from me, eh?

Rather than filling this group with expressions of sympathy, please consider making a small donation to the American Cancer Society.

-- Jim

_____________________________

Here are some post-workshop sales (http://www.sff.net/people/greg/vppubs.html) by some Viable Paradise graduates.

Their successes are their own, but I still feel proud of them.

Hi, all.

I'm back from the workshop.

Here's the first review (http://www.livejournal.com/users/gtrout/43655.html) by a student.

More when I recover some....

___________

Addition: A photo (http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/groucho760/detail?.dir=ddd9&.dnm=a13b.jpg)of me. Is this ego, or what?

Addition two: Another Student Report (http://www.livejournal.com/users/yhlee/156601.html)

Originally posted here (http://www.sff.net/archives/newsgroups/sff/workshop/critters-volcano-bar-and-grill/00000068.html)

This overview will be so abreviated and simplified that it'll almost count as a parody of the real story, but this is it.

Cast back your mind to those thrilling days of yesteryear. We're looking at the 1930s now, the Great Depression. Books were a luxury item, mostly available in the "book department" of department stores. There were fewer than a hundred bookstores in the USA, located only in major cities. The Book-of-the-Month Club provided reading material to those who subscribed in the heartland. Public
libraries, supported by tax revenue, provided the other source of books that most people could find.

But there was another source of reading material, one which was available in every town. Those were the newspapers and magazines. And the newspapers and magazines were put on newstands, in drug stores, in bus stations, by what were called Independent Distributors, or IDs.

Now the IDs handled time-sensitive material. Yesterday's newspapers are fishwrappers. Last week's copy of Life, you couldn't give away. The IDs would pick up the day's papers from the printing plant, and drive them out along their circuits. They paid the printer for so-many copies. But there's always some left over. You don't want people to come to your drugstore and not find a copy of the Herald and this week's Time, would you? And the IDs didn't want to pay for stock that didn't sell. So they got credit for the unsold copies. To prove that a copy was unsold, they would tear off the front cover of the magazine, or the masthead of the newspaper, and return only that (the rest going into a Dumpster).

The grocery, or drugstore, or bus station, or newsstand, owner wouldn't have to worry about stocking periodicals -- a guy in a truck would show up every morning, or every Monday, pick up the unsold stock from yesterday or last week, and leave today's, or this week's, stock. The store owner only paid the driver for the ones that sold, and didn't have to pay to have stuff on his shelves. Easy source of cash for everyone.

Now, in those days of the late 1930s, there were giants in the earth. And some of them were Max Schuster, Dick Simon, Ian Ballantine, and others who noticed that there was this distribution system already in place. At first the paperbacks were lower-cost reprintings of existing hard covers. Later came paperback originals. But these fellows saw that by making paperbacks available through the ID system, they could make a bundle. And so they did.

This also made paperbacks strippable. Unsold copies would have their covers torn off and returned for credit on the next order of books. They were treating books exactly like magazines. The ID system wasn't set up for returns, and so there were no returns. Those books that didn't sell were stripped and replaced by others that might sell better. Think of a paperback as a funny-looking magazine and you'll get the right idea.

Paperback covers reflected this, too. You were wondering about all the girls with large bosoms and scanty clothing? The covers were being designed to appeal to truck drivers, the guys who were actually choosing which books to put on the racks. (There was also standard advice to paperback writers in those days to show up at the warehouses where the IDs picked up their stock at four in the morning, bearing coffee and donuts, so that the drivers would remember Joe Author as a good guy, and maybe take another carton of his books around. Remember: people don't buy what they don't see.) Books were all the same size to fit the standard wire racks.

These were mass market paperbacks. Mass market, as opposed to "the Trade," that is, the bookstore trade. Trade books were whole-copy returnable. Hardcovers are trade books. Trade paperbacks are whole-copy returnable (they're sent back to the warehouse, restocked, and shipped to other bookstores).

Printing a hundred thousand copies of a paperback brought the per-unit cost of a paperback down so that you could still make money if you threw away half of the books you printed. The IDs provided a way to put a hundred thousand copies in front of potential buyers. The IDs varied in size from some that owned fleets of trucks and covered half a state, to others which were one guy in a stationwagon who covered one side of town. The IDs tended to know their markets pretty well, and knew to stock more romances in the drugstore next to the beauty parlor, more action/adventure in the bus station near the Army base, more science fiction at the news stand by the high school, and so on.

(Please note that for the IDs books were never more than a sideline: They were far more interested in making sure there are multiple copies of TV Guide beside every supermarket cash register in America than selling Jay Random Writer's books -- books were there because the IDs were already sending a truck to these different places, and the truck might have some spare room after the copies of that morning's newspapers were loaded.)

This happy situtation took us through the forties, the fifties, and the sixties. Books went out in great numbers, were sold in great numbers, and everyone was happy, more or less. Yes, the books had shelf-lives that depended on whim of the truck driver, but whaddya want? And there were turf wars, and Mob influences, and much that was less than Kosher, and the books had covers that you wouldn't want your mother to see you reading. But this is America!

Several things started to happen after that -- the rise of the malls brought bookstores right to mid-size towns. You no longer had to look for books at the grocery store. Maybe Waldenbooks wasn't that great, but compared to a wire-rack at the bus stop it was heaven.

The malls made Piers Anthony a best-seller, with the lease-line dumps offering pre-teen porn at lunch-money prices. Their time came, and departed. Now we are seeing the rise of the superstores. We've all heard of Amazon.com, right? All of Amazon's sales equals that of just two Barnes&Noble superstores. Put not your faith in princes, nor yet in on-line sales. If you can get your book into Amazon but can't get it into Barnes&Noble, it's game over.

Then the world changed for the IDs. Out in Seattle, the Safeway corporation was dealing with some forty IDs for various books and periodicals at its various store locations. So one day the Safeway chain said to the IDs, "One month from today, we will begin doing all of our business with only one of you. Start bidding."

"You can't do that!" said the IDs.

"Watch us," said Safeway.

And soon enough, rather than the patchwork of IDs in Seattle, there was only one, the rest bought out or bankrupt. And this wave spread across the nation, so that where there had formerly been hundreds or thousands of IDs, there are now perhaps a score; near bankruptcy from their fight with the other IDs for survival, less profitable because they had to offer deeper discounts to the stores to be the one that would be given the contract. And they didn't know their markets well, and instead of hand-selecting which books went into which slots where, turned to safe and reliable choices -- big name authors, reprints of best sellers -- and the implosion continued. Grocery stores couldn't compete with mall bookstores on books. The grocery stores have been going back to what they do best -- selling groceries. There are not only fewer IDs filling wire-rack spinners, there are fewer spinners for them to fill.

We are now coming out of that period of flux. The mass market paperback has been wounded, some say mortally, but the trade has expanded, so that we're now seeing rack-sized trade paperbacks -- that is to say, they have exactly the same trim size as those paperbacks designed to fit the wire-rack spinners, but are whole-copy returnable. Impossible to tell at a glance from mass market, right
down to the glossy lurid covers.

This story, you may notice, has little to do with techology -- the ability to print many cheaply -- and a great deal to do with distribution. Recall the adage that amateurs talk tactics, professionals talk logistics? It's the same in bookselling. Amateurs talk printing, professionals talk distribution.

Again, orginally posted elsewhere, over two years ago....

_____________

This story, you may notice, has little to do with techology -- the ability to print many cheaply -- and a great deal to do with distribution. Recall the adage that amateurs talk tactics, professionals talk logistics? It's the same in bookselling. Amateurs talk printing, professionals talk distribution.

And where, you may ask, does this leave vanity/POD books from the majority of vanity/POD publishers?

They're neither strippable for credit nor whole-copy returnable. They don't fit anywhere into the distribution system. Nor do many of them have standard discounts. So ... they're never going to show up on wire-rack spinners, since the IDs don't have a mechanism for ordering. They aren't going to show up on the bookstore shelves since they aren't returnable. And because of that and the fact that they don't have standard discounts, the bookstores that order them would have to set up at least two accounting systems -- one for each vanity/POD publisher, and one for every other book in the store. Small wonder that few bookstores are even willing to order vanity/POD books -- if the customer decides, when the book comes in four to six weeks later, that he doesn't want it, the store's stuck, they've had to do special bookkeeping on it the whole way, and if the customer does take it they've made less money on the whole transaction as a percentage of cover price than they would with any other book -- while costing more in resources. Barnes&Noble, which partly owns iUniverse (though they've been dumping their investment and now own a far smaller part) has a policy of refusing to order iUniverse titles.

This brings us around to Bookstore Economics.

The books on the shelves at your local bookstore didn't cost the bookstore owner a dime. They are on consignment from the publisher. The publisher sends around sales reps, the bookstore decides how many of each title from each publisher's catalog they want to stock, and the publisher ships them.

The bookstore sells some of those books, and reports to the publisher how many were sold. The ones that sell -- with a standard discount of 40%, the bookstore sends in 60% of the cover price, and keeps 40% for themselves. For deep-discounted books (certain best sellers, others being highly promoted) the discount is 60%, so the bookstore keeps 60% of the cover price. That's why you can see bookstores offering New York Times Bestsellers for 50% off, and they're still making money -- 10% of cover price times an Awful Lot of Books adds up to some serious coin.

Publishers can offer these discounts because when you print a lot of books the unit price is very cheap indeed.

Authors with standard royalty deals get their royalty based on the cover price -- never mind if the bookstore sells them for 10% off, or 50% off. That's another place where vanity/POD publishers in general screw authors -- they offer
royalties on "net," the amount that they get from the bookstore, rather than cover price. Since they have to offer a discount of some kind (though few offer the standard discount) the author is making a higher percentage of a smaller number -- often in terms of real money the vanity/POD author is making less per sale than a standard royalty author makes on a book with the same cover price.

Okay, back to the bookstore. After a while, if a book that's on the shelf isn't selling, if it's a trade book the bookstore owner sends it back and gets a new title to put in its place. If it's a mass market book the bookstore owner tears off the cover, sends that back, and orders new books to put in its place. How long this cycle is depends on the store. Superstores tend to have far longer shelf times than mall stores. Independent bookstores are all over the place on this.

Let's see -- publishers also pay the bookstores for placement in the stores -- those books on the table by the front of the store didn't get there by accident, or through some bookstore employee's happy thought. Same for the ones displayed at the ends of the bookshelf, on the endcaps. Why do you think that all the L. Ron Hubbard books have had prominent placement for years? Their publisher is paying the bookstores to keep them on the shelves.

Why do they do this? Because people buy what they see on the shelves. Just being displayed in a bookstore is a major part of getting readers.

1) When you use a quote from someone who is dead, do you still have to contact publishers or whomever for permission to use the quote if you go ahead and name the person prior to or after that quote?

How big a quote, for what purpose, and is it still under copyright?

2) When something is written based on a true story, no matter how fiction that true story may sound, and the names are all changed to protect those involved, does the author still have to get permission from the individuals?

Permission for what? To quote them? To use their story? Are you going to be looking at a libel suit somewhere along the line?

This is where I do my near-famous "I Am Not a Lawyer" dance.

Advice, though? I've got plenty. Tell the best story you can (I assume this is a novel, because I'm talking about novels here). After you've sold it, inform the editor that it's based on a true story. After the editor does the obligatory face palm, perhaps she'll say, "Great! We'll put 'based on a true story' on the cover!" Let the publisher's legal department help you out.

Remember: The words "But it really happened that way!" won't save a novel. Fiction has to be believable. Real life doesn't operate under any such constraints. Change stuff to make it work in terms of a novel.

Psycho (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0812519329/ref=nosim/madhousemanor), The Silence of the Lambs (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312195265/ref=nosim/madhousemanor), and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000C8ART/ref=nosim/madhousemanor) were all based on the same real case.

Bookslut (http://www.bookslut.com/blog/)

Corrie Tenboom's "There is no pit that He is not deeper still."

Corrie ten Boom. "There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still."

I don't see a problem with that quote, properly cited.

Write the book that's the right length for your story. If every word serves its purpose, the right word in the right place, then your book will be its proper length.

Rather than writing to the market, write your book and find its market.

Today's Neat New Toy: Google Desktop (http://desktop.google.com/).

Indexing and search on your own personal hard drive, integrated into your Google results.

I agree. Do the research. Your readers can tell if you skimped.

Let's see -- where do you live? My sister works as a reenactor at a living history museum focused around 1870. You'll find those sorts of places all over. The reenactors are very familiar with their periods, and know all kinds of things. They love getting questions on the obscure stuff -- it gives them a chance to show off -- and the authenticity it'll give your story, even if you don't use any specific detail, will pay dividends.

Or -- go to the library. Get a recent children's book on the subject. Read it, then head to the adult section to look up the areas you've identified as ones where you need specialized knowledge.

Let me recommend The Foxfire Book (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0385073534/ref%3Dnosim/viablparadthewri) for old-time country life.

Throw in a serial killer and four hundred pages of padding and you'll have a thriller to rival Stephen King

There's a bit more to it than that.

==========

On other notes -- while primary sources are great if you can't get the information any other way, as a writer I go to secondary sources for my initial research. I don't need to be an actual expert, I just have to look like one from out front.

Still, being a writer means you have homework every day for the rest of your life.

I am heartbroken to note that no one has yet reviewed Murder by Magic (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0446679623/madhousemanor) over at Amazon.

If you read it -- loved it, hated it, something in between -- please drop by and write a review. Honesty is always appreciated.

Speaking of research:

Writers are terrorists (http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2004_10_24_digbysblog_archive.html#109864025365506 773).

Bread Loaf Bakeless Literary Prizes (http://www.middlebury.edu/academics/blwc/bakeless/).

Looking for: Book length fiction, non-fiction, and poetry.

Bad points: $10 entry fee.

Good points: Publication with Houghton Mifflin.

Deadline: 15 November 2004.

Full details at the link.

Sure, luck has something to do with it -- but you don't get lucky unless you have a manuscript in hand, and unless you're at a place where luck happens.

The rest is up to the readers, the darlings.

What do I do?

I'm going to the library, where there aren't any televisions and there's a line for the internet, to do some editing.

MacAllister

02-26-2005, 03:58 AM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim
November 2004
Another possible market (short story): Guidelines Here (http://www.allstarstories.com/epics-guidelines.html).
For the folks who haven't gone to the link, here's the pay on that last anthology:

WHAT WE’RE PAYING

For First Print and Electronic World Anthology Rights:

* For pieces over ten thousand words: Twenty dollars.
* For pieces between five thousand and ten thousand words: Fifty dollars.
* For pieces five thousand words and under: One hundred dollars.

Authors will also receive two copies of the anthology on publication.

Meanwhile:

Niven's Laws For Writers (http://www.larryniven.org/stories/nivens_laws.htm)

1) Writers who write for other writers should write letters.

2) Never be embarrased or ashamed about anything you choose to write. (Think of this before you send it to a market)

3) Stories to end all stories on a given topic, don't.

4) It is a sin to waste the reader's time.

5) If you've nothing to say, say it any way you like. Stylistic innovations, contorted story lines or none, exotic or genderless pronouns, internal inconsistencies, the recipe for preparing your lover as a cannibal banquet: feel free. If what you have to say is important and/or difficult to follow, use the simplest language possible. If the reader doesn't get it then, let it not be your fault.

6) Everybody talks first draft.

Don't fill in the guy's reactions to most stuff. Let the readers fill that in for you, from their own experiences. Show what happened, show what your guy does and what he says, move on.

For me George RR Martin and Mary Gentle have it about right.

So ... read their books with your hi-lighter in hand, and mark the characters' reactions.

As an artist you're reading books differently than the regular readers. You're trying to see how the author created the effects, so you can do the same.

From More PA Woes (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=524&page=121&pp=25):

I was wondering if you’d tell me how you received permission to write Star Wars novels?

Real briefly -- I'm not Ann (nor do I play her on TV), but I've done a bunch of licensed work under the name "Martin Delrio."

You don't contact them, they contact you. Nor do you write the book in advance, or send them a query. After your first book comes out from someone else (which proves you can write a publishable novel), you get a call one day from your agent, saying "NameOCompany needs someone to write a NameOShow novel. You interested?" You say, "Sure am!" You get the information from the rights holder. Depending on who you're dealing with, this can be very small or very large.

If they haven't given you an outline to start with, you write an outline and send it to them. If they don't like it, you write another outline. If they don't like that one, you write yet another....

You write the book. If they don't like it, either they make changes or you make changes until they do like it.

As far as protecting your original bits -- forget it. They have squads of lawyers, and the contract will spell out that the entire work is the property of the company that hired you.

My best advice to you would be to write your story as an original novel. If the only reason someone would read it is because it's Star Wars, it isn't much of a story. If the story is strong enough, you can use other names, other places, other characters, other events, have a chance of selling it on your own, and keeping all rights.

You probably won't sell in the numbers that having the words "Star Wars" on the cover would give you, but you'll have the start of your own career.

Short answer: the people who write the tie-ins are already established pros.

Martin Delrio: notice the initials, M & D.

(There was an historical Martin Delrio, a witch-hunter. The novelization of Mortal Kombat was his first book since the sixteenth century.)

Ya know, if we can't add new messages, this thread will drift away off the front page. Maybe time for an index, and a Son of Uncle Jim?

Holly Black's Writing Resources (http://www.blackholly.com/writingresources.htm)

Hi, Jason -- I too stopped writing shortly after I left high school, and started again when I was 35.

Best of luck to you, and find joy in what you do.

No, I've never done a Star Wars novel.

(I have, however, fixed the link -- thanks for picking up on that!)

I've done Mortal Kombat, Prince Valiant, SpiderMan, and Tom Swift, though ...

Me, I use words for numbers zero through ninety-nine, then numerals for 100 and higher.

Just be consistent, and be prepared for the house style to rule.

On other topics, my two Tom Swift novels were Monster Machines and Aquatech Warriors.

MacAllister

02-28-2005, 06:05 PM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim

December 2004

I don't mind your making a personal copy for your personal use, TJ.

As Jim states, "Above all, tell a good story."

And the master rule: If it works, it's right.

does the date a manuscript arrives make any difference?

Not in book publishing, so far as I know.

Found via the always-amusing Making Light (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/), this discussion of writing sex scenes (http://www.saralaughs.com/blog/archives/000497.html). Find all ten parts by following various links. The writer here is Sara Donati (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/external-search?tag=madhousemanor&keyword=sara+donati&mode=books), author of the Wilderness series.

We've said before that it's okay to break rules, as long as you do it for a purpose, you know what rule you're breaking, and above all, that it works.

Here, for your delight and edification, are two examples of Rule Breaking from the realm of visual arts.

First, Le Bar aux Folies Bergere (http://www.gymsm.krefeld.schulen.net/tric/ecrivo/ville_manet.htm) by Edouard Manet. Notice that the reflection in the mirror is impossible.

Second, observe L'Empire des Lumieres (http://www.essentialart.com/acatalog/Rene_Magritte_L_Empire_des_Lumieres_1954.html) by Rene Magritte. A night scene with a daytime sky, both painted realistically.

Always ask, Does it Work? And notice that both of these artists are technically skilled. Other, lesser, painters wouldn't have carried it off.

Report to the Authors Guild Midlist Books Study Committee (http://www.authorsguild.org/miscfiles/midlist.pdf).

Long ago I posted the first couple of pages of a couple of Grisham novels, and promised to talk about 'em.

At long last, part of my life is cleared away enough for me to do it.

So... without further ado ...

The first two pages of The Summons, by John Grisham:

Chapter 1

It came by mail, regular postage, the old-fashioned way since the Judge was almost eighty and distrusted modern devices. Forget e-mail and even faxes. He didn't use an answering machine and had never been fond of the telephone. He pecked out his letters with both index fingers, one feeble key at a time, hunched over his old Underwood manual on a rolltop desk under the portrait of Nathan Bedford Forrest. The Judge's grandfather had fought with Forrest at Shiloh and throughout the Deep South, and to him no figure in history was more revered. For thirty-two years, the Judge had quietly refused to hold court on July 13, Forrest's birthday.

It came with another letter, a magazine, and two invoices, and was routinely placed in the law school mailbox of Professor Ray Atlee. He recognized it immediately since such envelopes had been a part of his life for as long as he could remember. It was from his father, a man he too called the Judge.

Professor Atlee studied the envelope, uncertain whether he should open it right there or wait a moment. Good news or bad, he never knew with the Judge, though the old man was dying and good news had been rare. It was thin and appeared to contain only one sheet of paper; nothing unusual about that. The Judge was frugal with the written word, though he'd once been known for his windy lectures from the bench.

It was a business letter, that much was certain. The Judge was not one for small talk, hated gossip and idle chitchat, whether written or spoken. Ice tea with him on the porch would be a refighting of the Civil War, probably at Shiloh, where he would once again lay all blame for the Confederate defeat at the shiny, untouched boots of General Pierre G. T. Beauregard, a man he would hate even in heaven, if by chance they met there.

He'd be dead soon. Seventy-nine years old with cancer in his stomach. He was overweight, a diabetic, a heavy pipe smoker, had a bad heart that had survived three attacks, and a host of lesser ailments that had tormented him for twenty years and were now finally closing in for the kill. The pain was constant. During their last phone call three weeks earlier, a call initiated by Ray because the Judge thought long distance was a rip-off, the old man sounded weak and strained. They had talked for less than two minutes.

The return address was gold-embossed: Chancellor Reuben V. Atlee, 25 Chancery District, Ford County Courthouse, Clanton, Mississippi. Ray slid the envelope into the magazine and began walking. Judge Atlee no longer held the office of chancellor. The voters had retired him nine years earlier; a bitter defeat from which he would never recover. Thirty-two years of diligent service to his people, and they tossed him out in favor of a younger man with ra-

Chapter 1

The book will be divided into chapters. No epigram, no chapter names.

It came by mail, regular postage, the old-fashioned way since the Judge was almost eighty and distrusted modern devices.
We start with pronoun without an antecedent. "It" here probably is "the summons" of the title. We've got a bit else going on here -- we're introduced to a character "the Judge" (with capital we can tell this is a name, or stands for a name), and a bit about him (age eighty, distrusts modern devices). That's characterization. An object, a person, and characterization. Not bad for sentence one.

Forget e-mail and even faxes.</
Bolsters the old-fashioned impression, and bit of a change in rhythm. Sentence one was nineteen words; sentence two is five.

He didn't use an answering machine and had never been fond of the telephone.
Yet more on the Judge's old-fashioned, and even odd (not fond of the telephone?) ways. The lack of tech is mentioned three times in the first three sentences -- this will be important before the book is done.

He pecked out his letters with both index fingers, one feeble key at a time, hunched over his old Underwood manual on a rolltop desk under the portrait of Nathan Bedford Forrest.

More characterization, and some physical description. Action. The Judge is hunched (we already know he's old), he's feeble (since typewriter keys don't have feebleness as one of their attributes, it must be the Judge's typing style). The roll-top desk suggests age, as does the "old" typewriter. We're getting some physical scene-setting (notice that only important details are mentioned -- we don't know if he has carpets or a hardwood floor, we don't know what the lights look like -- but we the readers are already forming a picture. One important part of this scene -- it gets the position of power at the end of the sentence -- is the portrait. Nathan Beford Forrest places the Judge in the South (Forrest was a Confederate general), and reveals an unpleasant fact about the Judge's character -- Forrest founded the Ku Klux Klan. This sentence is much longer and more complex than the two that preceeded it. It's nearly the length of the first three sentences combined. The author wants us to slow down and pay attention.

The Judge's grandfather had fought with Forrest at Shiloh and throughout the Deep South, and to him no figure in history was more revered. For thirty-two years, the Judge had quietly refused to hold court on July 13, Forrest's birthday.

More about the Judge's age, his heritage, and his career. The title "Judge" is restated. This is also a small info dump for the readers who have no idea who Nathan Bedford Forrest was. By the end of the first paragraph we have a pretty good picture of a character, along with the unresolved question of what "it" is -- giving us a reason to read on to paragraph two.

It came with another letter, a magazine, and two invoices, and was routinely placed in the law school mailbox of Professor Ray Atlee.

Quite the busy little sentence. "It," still not identified (although we can puzzle out that it must be a letter since it comes with "another letter"), leads us to our second character. Professor Ray Atlee has a name as well as a title, we know that he's in a law school. The connection with the previous paragraph, aside from the letter itself, is that "Judge" is a legal title.

He recognized it immediately since such envelopes had been a part of his life for as long as he could remember.

"He" here is Ray Atlee, our second character. "It" is the letter, probably "The Summons." (Summons, too, is a legal term.) We learn now who it was who was seeing the Judge pecking away at that Underwood -- it was Ray, who got that flash when he saw the envelope.

It was from his father, a man he too called the Judge.

Relationship between the two characters, characterization, implication of a cold upbringing. We're filling in Ray, too.

Professor Atlee studied the envelope, uncertain whether he should open it right there or wait a moment.

We're a bit formal with Ray, for now. We don't know him as well as we know the Judge. We're also reinforcing that he's got some social standing, as a professor. And we're getting a feeling of doubt. Should he open the envelope? Why wouldn't he? Why the hesitation? Suspense. While Ray is being introduced here, he's still sharing the stage with that envelope.

Good news or bad, he never knew with the Judge, though the old man was dying and good news had been rare.

An important fact. We knew the Judge was feeble and hunched. and old. Now he's dying. We still don't know what's in that envelope.

It was thin and appeared to contain only one sheet of paper; nothing unusual about that.
We're back to calling the envelope "it," just as in the first word of the novel. We're beginning to put a lot of weight on that envelope. We're also seeing more of the envelope; thin, but not unusual. An object of significance, particularly if we consider that it's probably the title object.

The Judge was frugal with the written word, though he'd once been known for his windy lectures from the bench.

More characterization of the Judge, pulling us away from Ray. And so we end paragraph two, a second character introduced but the focus firmly on the Judge (and his envelope). So ends paragraph four.

It was a business letter, that much was certain.

Focus back on the letter, once again "It."

The Judge was not one for small talk, hated gossip and idle chitchat, whether written or spoken.
Characterization. The sentence, by itself, is clumsy, and will slow a reader down. The pacing here is important. The author wants this information to be absorbed.

Ice tea with him on the porch would be a refighting of the Civil War, probably at Shiloh, where he would once again lay all blame for the Confederate defeat at the shiny, untouched boots of General Pierre G. T. Beauregard, a man he would hate even in heaven, if by chance they met there.

The paragraph ends with a long, complex sentence, characterization of a man living in the past, with a hint of a question of whether the Judge would go to heaven when he died.

He'd be dead soon.
Very short, very punchy, particularly when contrasted with the last sentence of the previous paragraph. We already had this information, now the author restates it, far more vividly than "the old man was dying." We're all dying ... but for most of us it's not going to be "soon." This is a great paragraph lead-off sentence. The impact is greater here, after we'd already been introduced, than it would have been had this sentence been used as the first sentence of the first paragraph.

Seventy-nine years old with cancer in his stomach.
Short, punchy, purely factual. Giving hard data to the impressions the readers already had.

He was overweight, a diabetic, a heavy pipe smoker, had a bad heart that had survived three attacks, and a host of lesser ailments that had tormented him for twenty years and were now finally closing in for the kill.

"Tormented him for twenty years." We're feeling sympathetic for the Judge now, after an unsympathetic portrayal up to this point. This is also a long, rambling sentence after the previous two body-blows, giving the reader time to catch his breath.

The pain was constant.

After that breather, a quick jab. Reinforces the pain motif.

During their last phone call three weeks earlier, a call initiated by Ray because the Judge thought long distance was a rip-off, the old man sounded weak and strained.
Reinforcing the old-fashioned anti-tech ways of the Judge, putting in some characterization on Ray and the Judge's relationship. Spreads the story out to more than just this moment ... whatever's been going on we have a human time scale. Twenty years, seventy-nine years, since the Civil War -- those are too long for a reader's mind to wrap around. Three weeks -- that's doable.

They had talked for less than two minutes.
Characterization, reveals their relationship.

The return address was gold-embossed: Chancellor Reuben V. Atlee, 25 Chancery District, Ford County Courthouse, Clanton, Mississippi.
Finally, the Judge has a name, and we're given a very specific location, rather than the vague South. Once again, we're focused on the envelope, as we have been at the beginning of four of the five previous paragraphs. Gold-embossed tells us about the character, and his social station.

Ray slid the envelope into the magazine and began walking.
Aren't we going to open that envelope? The suspense! Plus a bit of characterization -- he doesn't want to touch or look at the envelope.

Judge Atlee no longer held the office of chancellor.

Ah -- but he's still using the old stationery. Frugal (we already have been told he is), or is it vanity, or pride? Those are deadly sins.

The voters had retired him nine years earlier; a bitter defeat from which he would never recover.
Ah. It's pride. A bit more history, too. It isn't the stomach cancer that's killing him -- it's his electoral defeat. The source of his pain?

Thirty-two years of diligent service to his people, and they tossed him out in favor of a younger man with ra-
Thirty-two years of honoring Nathan Bedford Forrest.

More on the source of the Judge's discontent. And here we are, at the bottom of page two of the printed book, and that darned envelope still hasn't been opened.

Okay, show of hands -- how many of you want to turn the page and find out what happens next?

We have two characters -- the Judge and Ray -- and one object, the envelope (The Summons). We have a pretty good idea of one location -- and it isn't the location where the envelope and Ray are standing, even though it looks like Ray will be the viewpoint character. All of the information we've gotten about the Judge could well have come from his head, summoned up by the view of the Summons in his academic mailbox.

That's a rockin' opening, guys. Nothing wasted.

Go you and do likewise.
Question for you, drgnlvrljh:

In the first quote: Quote: He waited in the dark, across the street from the coffeehouse. It had been closed for over an hour, now, but the person he was watching for hadn't left yet. He was cold, and tired, but he was also patient. He'd been searching for her for nearly twenty years, another hour or so would not matter, now.

Who's the viewpoint character? Is it the mysterious stranger himself?

It's not outrageous for him not to mention his own name.

I don't see a problem with what you've presented here. Of course, to make any kind of detailed suggestions I'd have to read the whole thing, and even then I'd have to lead off with "In my opinion...."

Have you finished your first draft yet?

"Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration."

Thomas A. Edison, Harper's Monthly, 1932

Could I bother you for a possible example?

She hung cheerful curtains in the bedroom.

He made the notes with his angry pen.

The playful wind made the childrens' kites soar.

--------------

Like any spice, a little enhances, too much makes the meal inedible.

Can anyone produce publishable work? Of the ones who can't/don't, is it because they aren't learning or because they don't have the spark

Can anyone become a marathon runner?

Well -- given a certain baseline level of good health, perhaps. No guarantee that they'll come in first, but they'll probably cross the finish line.

What's more certain is that, no matter ones' innate running ability, those who don't log the road miles training, and those who don't enter the race, won't cross the finish line.

Most people aren't naturals, or geniuses. Many can plug along, get better, and reach a minimum level of competence.

Remember: If the minimum wasn't good enough, it wouldn't be the minimum.

=========

As I said elsewhere: Someone with one drop of creativity who works hard will get farther than someone with an ocean of creativity who doesn't do the work.

=========

Repeating the same mistakes over and over isn't practicing correctly, and won't get you anywhere.

=========

Let's try a different analysis. This will be words per sentence, number of commas, and number of sentences per paragraph, for the full paragraphs. I'm looking for varying rhythms.

Paragraph 1:

19 (2)
5 (0)
14 (0)
32 (2)
24 (1)
16 (2)

Paragraph 2:

23 (2)
21 (0)
12 (1)

Paragraph 3:

17 (1)
22 (2)
16 (1 semicolon)
20 (1)

Paragraph 4:

9 (1)
17 (2)
55 (5)

Paragraph 5:

4 (0)
8 (0)
40 (4)
4 (0)
29 (2)
8 (0)

How do you deal with taxes, if your book is bought?

Schedule C, with quarterly estimated taxes.

Quicken plus TurboTax.

For those of you who don't want to slog through the whole thing, at least check out the conclusions on page 7.

Nevertheless, for those who are doing this "writing" thing as something more than a hobby, it's worth your while to read the entire report, and other reports, and everything else you can get your hands on, to try to understand the business.

No one source contains all of the truth. The many, combined with your own observations and experience, can approach it.

I have no idea about their height/weight/hair colour, except that one guy is black.

Then don't say anything about their height/weight/hair color. If it isn't important to the story, let the reader fill in something that's meaningful to him.

If, in the course of writing the story, you learn that one of the characters has to be a 300 pound blond guy, and another has to be under five foot tall and a redhead, well, that's great (I use filecards to record this stuff as I'm writing). In the second draft you go back and put in the descriptions when the characters are introduced.

As you write the book, trust me, you will come to know what your characters look like.

Regardsing Setting, is it better to use fictional city/town/street names and base it somehwere you know, or use the real place and maybe add a few extras for effect?

Either could work -- author's choice.

You have advantages and disadvantages either way.

With a fictional city, no one is going to object that there's no such place as Eddie's Pawn Shop on Fifth and Elm, and there's no Fifth Street anyway -- it was renamed Pascal Drive in 1983.

With a fictional city people are going to say "Funny, I never heard of Dunton, and why don't all these people make their lives easier by moving to Sacramento?

With a real city, your readers will have mental pictures of the place already, so there's less work to do in building your setting. You can spend more time on your story. You can also research the place, and find interesting details that can help make your story come alive. (And you can go visit the place, have a great time, and write it off on your taxes. (Note: Take the advice of a tax professional before you do this.))

Unfortunately, a real city may not have real places that you'll need, and may trip you up -- see Pascal Drive, above. The natives may give you a hard time. And you may have to make sure that somewhere you're using as a set isn't real. If you make the owner of Gino's Pizzaria a serial adulterer and have him come to a sticky end, you may want to make sure there isn't really a Gino's Pizzaria in that town. The owner might get perturbed.

Anyway -- authors have gone both ways. I'm sure in your reading you've found both. If you can make the setting seem real to your readers, you've got it licked. Faulkner used Yoknapatawpha County, and there never was such a place. Ed McBain uses New York City, and there certainly is.

You want advice? Put it in a real place that you know. Later on, if need be, you can use the mighty hand of Global Search and Replace to change all the names.

I will add my agreement to those who were baffled or bored by the beginning of The Summons. It would never have occured to me that the painting was of a KKK man, nor would it have placed him in the South in my mind. I live in Canada, so references like that go right over my head - shouldn't an experienced author like Grisham realize that he writes for an international audience?

Perhaps he's writing for an international audience -- but he's also writing for himself. Grisham personally is a middle-aged Southern lawyer.

Not all books speak to all readers. That's why there are a lot of books, and why we need to see your book.

=========

For those of you who are catching up -- there are lots of exercises along the way. I seriously recommend that y'all do 'em.

I mean, if I ever meet you in person I'll expect you to know how to fold a paper hat, and be able to recite poems and quote Shakespeare.

(Will that make you a better writer? Yes.)

Okay, new exercise for y'all: Go get a movie on DVD, a recent one with lots of "extras." Now watch it. Then watch it with the director's commentary. Then watch the deleted scenes. Watch the alternate endings. Understand why it is that those scenes were deleted. Understand why the actual ending was the one that was used. (A great film for alternate endings is 28 Days Later (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005JMA8/ref=nosim/madhousemanor).)

Are we making movies? No, we're telling stories. The arts are related.

Next exercise: Get a big box of crayons (http://www.amazon.com/exec/OBIDOS/ASIN/%20B0001DUAR4/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/). Get a big tablet of paper (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005IX8H/ref=nosim/madhousemanor). Sit in your kitchen and draw some object, in its setting. The point here is to learn to see things. Find the details. Find the colors. See the shapes and relationships. Make it real. Use up all your paper. Make every picture the best it can be.

All the arts are related.

It's said that if you fold a thousand cranes (http://www.monkey.org/~aidan/origami/crane/) in a single year that your prayer will be answered.

Perhaps it will.

Get yourself a whole mess of origami paper (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/080483525X/ref-nosim/madhousemanor), and start folding cranes. Pray that you will become a better writer.

Before the year (and the thousanth crane) is done, I promise that you will be good at folding cranes. You'll be able to fold cranes without looking. You'll be able to fold cranes in your hands without needing a table to crease them.

Will you be a better writer? Perhaps your prayer will be answered.

Then, for the next year, take the time that you spent folding cranes, and write words. At the end of the year, I promise you'll be a better writer. Just as you got good at folding cranes with practice, you'll get good at writing.

Perhaps your earlier cranes didn't turn out too well. You worked on your technique, you made sure the edges met exactly, you learned to make your creases sharp.

Perhaps in your earlier writing the stories didn't turn out too well. You'll learn to describe your characters exactly, you'll learn to make your plots sharp.

Folding a thousand cranes is a good thing in itself. (At the very least you'll always have a party trick with which you can amuse a child.) Rather than praying to become a better writer, pray for health and peace for others. When you're finished with your cranes, string them as a mobile and donate it to a hospital.

Best wishes to all in this holiday season.

Joan, if that's what's best for your story then that's what you should use.

Yes, it's a fiendishly difficult POV to use ... well. Is your skill up to it? Octavia Butler can manage because Octavia Butler is an excellent writer.

Not every pianist can play every piano concerto. Some are more difficult than others; some pianists are more skilled than others.

What can I say? Try. The master rule is Does It Work.

(Note: If you do it and it works, editors and readers won't care if you're a first timer. What tips the scales against you is not carrying off what you attempt.)

On the subject of a thousand cranes, and not about writing at all....

Welcome, Fillanzea. As you'll discover from this thread, for me everything is about writing.

If you devote as little as six minutes a day to writing, for a year, and you use those six minutes fully, your writing will improve. How much, that I can't say.

Do you have any specific tips for writing in this POV? Anything you'd recommend watching out for or ways to use it most effectively?

Alas, no. I don't have any specific tips. There aren't any cheats that I know of for writing omniscent third.

(For third limited, one cheat is to write each scene in first person, then translate to third in the next draft.)

The only thing I can suggest is that you take a stack of works by major talents written in third omniscent, and analyse them. See how they work. See what the author is doing. Retype whole chapters. Break them down sentence by sentence. Use highlighters to mark the shifting viewpoints.

Does this sound like you have to teach yourself a masters-level literature course?

Yes.

Then, into the deep end of the pool with you. Write your book.

Remember Yoda? "There is no try. Do ... or do not."

Something you really don't see a lot of is second person:

You picked up a rock, felt the cool weight of it in your hand, and threw it at Jane. Jane swore at you and ran off.

Consider that there may be a reason why you don't see second person too often. Aside from the Choose Your Own Adventure books, a fad that has happily run its course, I don't recall pure 2nd ever being published at book length.

Another thought:

A thousand would take six minutes a day for a year... I suspect that it would take more time than that to improve me much as a writer.

If you type 40 words per minute, in that year you will have typed a novel.

Alas, Jim, they've been back for some time now.

Aieeeee! Run away! Run away!

You see a door before you. Do you:

A) Open it (go to page 57)

B) Turn and fight (go to page 96)

C) Throw the flippin' book out the window (go to the bookshelf and get something where the author figured out the best ending for the story)

Thanks for those two references. I've not read either book.

Something for me to do....

Is this an accurate look at writing fantasy/sci-fi? And how have you gotten through it - that feeling of "they're not gonna believe this"?

You're in my world there. I write mostly SF/Fantasy (with excursions into technothriller, horror, and non-fiction).

Okay -- first, if you're going to lie, only tell one. And make it a big one. Your readers will allow you one whopper.

Second, tell the truth as much as you can. Your readers will be willing to believe in dragons, but they won't stop believing in oxygen. Make the dragonfire work with the physics and chemistry of reality.

Third, you have to be absolutely dead-accurate truthful in the psychological realism. You're telling stories about people. Make those people real.

SF/F are a little bit tougher than the mysteries and romances and such set in the modern every-day world. Not only do you have to tell the story, you have to build the world. And you have to do both at the same time.

My advice -- take some recent award winners and some recent best-sellers, go off somewhere quiet, and analyse the heck out of them. You aren't reading them as a reader now, you're reading them as a writer. See how the author achieved the effects.

----------

I found this just today,in one of my magic books (Hugard & Braue's Complete Guide to Card Tricks and Techniques), and thought of y'all:

Amongst card conjurors there is the belief that the expert achieves his results by means of prodigious skill, that his methods call for extraordinary application and tedious practice. The authors cannot stress too strongly that it requires no more practice to perform a sleight correctly than to perform it badly. Where the expert shines is that he has gone through the hard work of thinking out the correct method; he has experimented by the hour in searching for the easiest and best technique. For him it is a labor of love, rewarded by the inner glow which comes when at last he sees how to improve the sleight, or when he devises a clean-cut method of attaining a result in a given trick. It is this secret knowledge which makes him the craftsman he is.

Substitute the word "writers" for "card conjurors," and "story" for "trick"; the rest falls into place.

But now that I’ve been studying up on ancient time-keeping to set up something real for this world I’ve created, it’s kind of frustrating to see that others (at least in my limited reading) haven’t addressed the issue. People travel from planet to planet and there’s never any mention of adapting to different lengths of day, even though here on Earth we have to adjust going from one coast to another.

You might enjoy my own Mageworlds books, where you'll find two clocks side by side, with local time on one and standard on the other, and terms like "local apparent north."

We assume that everything is in translation anyway, so the use of terms like day, week, month, is fine. We don't use Tuesday and October because they have Earth-specific references -- to the god Tyr, to the eighth month. (Note: Even Tolkien, who was keenly aware of language, slipped up on this from time to time.)

When we, here, on earth, say "I walked all day," we don't say "I walked three Jovian days." The characters refer to their own experiences. One of the ways SF builds worlds is through showing what the characters assume to be true. The readers compare that assumption with their own assumptions.

------------

Why are the hero's two friends physicists? Well, were they college roommates? Was the hero stranded overnight on a broken down bus with a bunch of guys coming back from a Physicist convention? Did they shop at the same all-night supermarket? Do they sing in the same choir? Did they serve in the military together?

Why are you friends with the people you know? How did you meet?

Here's advice -- put the book in a drawer for a month. Work on something else. Then read your story aloud, with a red pencil in your hand, to make notes in the margins.

Heck, read 'em in the order they were written. That means start with The Price of the Stars (which is a dandy book, by the way, and went through I think seven printings before it finally went out of print). (It'll come back into print when the next Mageworlds book comes out, which will be about a year after I write it....)

You have a different experience depending on where you enter the series, of course.

(And -- for each book I found beta readers who'd never read any of the other books, so as to clear up questions that new readers might have along the way.)

Do I just accept that the first time I put something down much of it could be wrong or misplaced and keep going until THE END and then revise the WHOLE thing?

Allow yourself to put down the not-quite-right word. Allow yourself to type [look this up] or [fix later].

You won't be submitting your first draft... so treat it like a first draft. Use it to block things out, and find out what the book is about.

Continuing the discussion from earlier in this thread:

The first two pages of The Street Lawyer, by John Grisham:

One

The man with the rubber boots stepped into the elevator behind me, but I didn't see him at first. I smelled him though -- the pungent odor of smoke and cheap wine and life on the street without soap. We were alone as we moved upward, and when I finally glanced over I saw the boots, black and dirty and much too large. A frayed and tattered trench coat fell to his knees. Under it, layers of foul clothing bunched around his mid-section, so that he appeared stocky, almost fat. But it wasn't from being well fed; in the wintertime in D.C., the street people wear everything they own, or so it seems.

He was black and aging -- his beard and hair were half-gray and hadn't been washed or cut in years. He looked straight ahead through thick sunglasses, thoroughly ignoring me, and making me wonder for a second why, exactly, I was inspecting him.

He didn't belong. It was not his building, not his elevator, into a place he could afford. The lawyers on all eight floors worked for my firm at hourly rates that still seemed obscene to me even after seven years.

Just another street bum in from the cold. Happened all the time in downtown Washington. But we had security guards to deal with the riffraff.

We stopped at six, and I noticed for the first time that he had not pushed a button, had not selected a floor. He was following me. I made a quick exit, and as I stepped into the splendid marble foyer of Drake & Sweeney I glanced over my shoulder just long enough to see him standing in the elevator, looking at nothing, still ignoring me.

Madam Devier, one of your very resilient receptionists, greeted me with her typical look of disdain. "Watch the elevator," I said.

"Why?"

"Street bum. You may want to call security."

"Those people," she said in her affected French accent.

"Get some disinfectant too."

I walked away, wrestling my overcoat off my shoulders, forgetting the man with the rubber boots. I had nonstop meetings throughout the afternoon, important conferences with important people. I turned the corner and was about to say something to Polly, my secretary, when I heard the first shot.

Madam Devier was standing behind her desk, petrified, staring into the barrel of an awfully long handgun held by our pal the street bum. Since I was the first one to come to her aid, he politely aimed it at me, and I too became rigid.

"Don't shoot," I said, hands in the air. I'd seen enough movies to know precisely what to do.

"Shut up," he mumbled, with a great deal of composure.

There were voices in the hallway behind me. Someone yelled,

One

Chapters are numbered in words, no epigrams, no chapter titles.

The man with the rubber boots stepped into the elevator behind me, but I didn't see him at first.

Two characters in the first sentence: the man with the rubber boots, and "me," the narrator. Setting: an elevator. Description: rubber boots. Off and running in sentence one. First person POV.

I smelled him though -- the pungent odor of smoke and cheap wine and life on the street without soap.
More description, both of the man in the rubber boots (someone who smells like a street person) and the narrator (someone who notices).

We were alone as we moved upward, and when I finally glanced over I saw the boots, black and dirty and much too large.

More description. This will be an important character. As the elevator moves upward through the building, the narrator's eyes move upward on the street person. This is the first time we see the boots, even though they were mentioned in the first sentence.

A frayed and tattered trench coat fell to his knees.
Up the street person's body. Building a picture. Still early enough in that if the reader has any misapprehensions about what the character looks like, they can be easily corrected.

Under it, layers of foul clothing bunched around his mid-section, so that he appeared stocky, almost fat.

Is 'almost fat' a mistake here? The use of the word 'almost' can be a sign of lazy writing: e.g. He looked almost happy. That's asking the reader to do the writer's job of finding the right word. But this, here, is using the phrase 'almost fat' to define the earlier term 'stocky.' This is clarification, not sloppiness.

But it wasn't from being well fed; in the wintertime in D.C., the street people wear everything they own, or so it seems.
Giving the location (Washington D.C.) and the season (winter). We're still in the elevator, but the outside world is being defined.

He was black and aging -- his beard and hair were half-gray and hadn't been washed or cut in years.
Black and aging. Notice the parallelism with the boots: black and dirty. We've gotten all the way up to the man's face. Nice progression, and mild suspense as we're wondering and being told what the man looks like. This falls in line with the principle that we answer the readers' questions a moment before they ask them.

He looked straight ahead through thick sunglasses, thoroughly ignoring me, and making me wonder for a second why, exactly, I was inspecting him.

Back to the narrator's character. Also a bit of mystery about the boot-man. Sunglasses inside an elevator? And his eyes are concealed.

He didn't belong.
Summarizing the previous paragraph, and bringing the point home for the deaf old lady in the back row.

It was not his building, not his elevator, into a place he could afford.

More countersinking.

The lawyers on all eight floors worked for my firm at hourly rates that still seemed obscene to me even after seven years.

Okay, we're going into a law office. More on the narrator's character -- he's making a lot of money, and he's uncomfortable with that. He's been there a while -- seven years. We presume that the narrator is a lawyer. Ambiguous whether he owns the firm.

Just another street bum in from the cold.

Reinforcing that it's winter. Reinforcing that this is a street person. Bringing up the possibility that this isn't the first time it's happened. "Just another..."?

Happened all the time in downtown Washington.

Answering the question. Happens all the time. Momentarily unpleasant, but nothing to remark about. But our narrator is remarking about it, so ... we're expecting something odd to happen. New source of suspense.

But we had security guards to deal with the riffraff.

More on the building, more on the characters, more on how this is a known problem with a known solution, but ... the hint that this time security guards won't work.

We stopped at six, and I noticed for the first time that he had not pushed a button, had not selected a floor.

Location is specified, and another odd detail is supplied.

He was following me.
Uh-oh.

I made a quick exit, and as I stepped into the splendid marble foyer of Drake & Sweeney I glanced over my shoulder just long enough to see him standing in the elevator, looking at nothing, still ignoring me.
The longest sentence we've seen so far -- a bit of a rest for the reader after the shorter, choppier, more suspenseful opening bits. We're told the name of the law firm, and given more on the relationship that's been growing between tthese two people. (Still don't know if the narrator is male or female.)

Madam Devier, one of your very resilient receptionists, greeted me with her typical look of disdain.

A third character, with a bit of characterization.

"Watch the elevator," I said.

"Why?"

"Street bum. You may want to call security."

Dialog, power relationship, and still business as usual.

"Those people," she said in her affected French accent.

Characterization.

"Get some disinfectant too."

Characterization of the narrator.

I walked away, wrestling my overcoat off my shoulders, forgetting the man with the rubber boots.

Suspense builds, along with tiny action detail.

I had nonstop meetings throughout the afternoon, important conferences with important people.
Important people, as opposed to the unimportant bum. Yet the bum has had a lot of ink so far, and the important people have had none. The bum is important, and will be involved in nonstop meetings, betcha.

I turned the corner and was about to say something to Polly, my secretary, when I heard the first shot.

Woo hoo! The day has just gotten weird. The first shot implies a second shot. We've also met another character, Polly, and gotten a bit more of a hint about the narrator.

Madam Devier was standing behind her desk, petrified, staring into the barrel of an awfully long handgun held by our pal the street bum.
I wonder how he saw that? He's turned the corner, after all. His heading back isn't described; it's not important right now. We've gotten back to the main character (the bum). We've introduced something that makes the bum important. "God made men; Colonel Colt made them equal."

Since I was the first one to come to her aid, he politely aimed it at me, and I too became rigid.

Our narrator is either brave or foolish.

"Don't shoot," I said, hands in the air.
Dialog and action.

I'd seen enough movies to know precisely what to do.

Sense of unreality. Comparing this to a movie. (It would have been an error for the author to have said "I've read enough books." That would remind the reader that this is just a novel.)

"Shut up," he mumbled, with a great deal of composure.

I'll let him get away with using a 'said' word. More characterization.

There were voices in the hallway behind me. Someone yelled,

'There were' is a weak opening. This will contrast with the very strong bit with the handgun we just saw, and give the reader a break. 'Someone' is also indistinct.

Now... we're at the end of page two.

Show of hands, how many want to know what happens next?
I've used this sentence to demonstrate poor POV technique.

I can't say that I agree. Do you have a problem with "The first time I saw Fred he was standing outside a bar, his hat pulled too low over his eyes, looking like a man with nowhere to go and in a hurry to get there."

Now the narrator there doesn't know Fred's name at that moment, but that doesn't stop him. In first person past tense, the narrator can use any name he wants for a character, provided it's something that he learns between the time the character is introduced and the point where he's telling the story to we the readers.

When the Knight with the Singing Sword walked through my door he wasn't yet a knight. He didn't have the Singing Sword, either. He was just a punk kid -- or so we all thought. Those of us who hadn't seen him move.

I think that what Grisham was trying to do was make "The man in the rubber boots" the first five words of the novel.

The guy in the boots is a main, if not the main, character. (I'm not certain, from these first two pages, that he isn't the street lawyer of the title. He's certainly a street person.)

How does everyone feel about:

The man with the rubber boots was standing in the elevator behind me, but I didn't notice him at first.
Better?

(Notice has about the same meaning as one meaning of see, but it has two syllables to see's one.)

"Was standing" is much less active than "stepped into."

"See" also means "notice," "be aware of," or "pay attention to."

You're allowed one whopper per book (whether it be space aliens or street bums in office buildings). If you're telling a whopper, the first page is a great place for it.

Literal meanings aren't the only things that authors have to balance. There's also the connotations of words, and the words' sounds. Then there's sentence rhythm. You have to balance it all.

Writers earn the ability to start their current works slow by ending their last works strong.

The man with the rubber boots stepped into the elevator behind me, and I didn't notice him at first.

I'd go with 'but' rather than 'and.'

Please remember that the smallest unit of meaning in our stories isn't the sentence, it's the paragraph.

(Paragraphs can consist of nothing more than a fragment of a word, but still....)

So let's look at that whole first paragraph:

The man with the rubber boots stepped into the elevator behind me, but I didn't see him at first. I smelled him though -- the pungent odor of smoke and cheap wine and life on the street without soap. We were alone as we moved upward, and when I finally glanced over I saw the boots, black and dirty and much too large. A frayed and tattered trench coat fell to his knees. Under it, layers of foul clothing bunched around his mid-section, so that he appeared stocky, almost fat. But it wasn't from being well fed; in the wintertime in D.C., the street people wear everything they own, or so it seems.
Taken as a whole this is a physical description of one main character. (I also note this time around that the street person is wearing a trenchcoat, that is, the lawyer's uniform. I wonder if he'll turn out to be a lawyer who's down on his luck?)

This paragraph deals with appearances. "He appeared" ... "it seems." To me that suggests a contrast with reality.

Once we have the bum with a handgun in the lobby of a law office, and the shooting starts, we won't have a lot of time for descriptions.

Could this book have profitably started with our narrator hearing the shot, and coming around the corner to see the bum facing Madam Devier?

It would be torn apart by people who think they know better but don't.

Tell you what, HConn -- how about post two pages from either a) a published work, or b) an unpublished manuscript, without telling anyone which it is, right here, and see what we have to say?

But since it's Grisham, we say "he's allowed to have one big whopper."

Actually, I think I've been saying that since long before Grisham came under discussion.

I've got a story in the upcoming anthology Cosmic Tales: Adventures in Far Futures (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743498879/ref=nosim/madhousemanor).

Buy one. Better still, buy a dozen. They make excellent gifts.

Do we go easier on published authors because they are published?

Due to Other Commitments (TM) I haven't yet commented on the excerpts presented here.

I think you'll find that I'm equally hard on both published and un-published.

(I have, in fact, been downright cruel to published works. Not to the authors -- to the works.)

The basic thing to know is that you don't have to be as-good-as currently published writers to break in. You have to be better. This is because the publishers already have writers who are exactly as good as their current crop.

By George he's got it! I think he's got it!

MacAllister

03-15-2005, 12:50 PM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim
January 2005

03Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=110&pp=25)
I note that this phenomenon isn't restricted to fanfic authors; some beginning authors in general make the same mistake. They see the scene in their head clearly, but then forget to transfer any of that clarity onto the paper.

That's what we call a "head story." Your beta readers will become invaluable here (as will putting the manuscript into your desk drawer for a month or three before re-reading it).

Analysing openings may teach you how to write good openings. Analysing endings will teach you how to write good books.

05Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=110&pp=25)
Re: revising a novel: how to proceed?
My guess is that next I need to read through the whole thing, making notes, looking for gaps, making sure that things promised early on come to fruition before the end, and that the way is properly prepared for things that happen later.

That's what I call doing agricultural work. You go through and make sure that everything that happens at the end was planted in the beginning, and that everything that happened in the beginning sprouted.

The things that didn't sprout you prune back. The things that did sprout, you make sure have plenty of fertilizer spread on 'em and are watered frequently.

A technique that works for some people when they're making sure the whole novel is there on the page, not just in your head, is to write it as a flow chart. That will also show you branches that don't come to a conclusion.

It's perfectly okay to leave some loose ends. Nothing is ever fully tied up. (That's what makes sequels possible.)

You will, at some point, have to get the whole novel into your head at one time. That means just reading it straight through, fast. Where that comes in the revision process is probably going to be when you're pretty happy with the parts. May I suggest at that time that you print it out in some format that you've not been using -- single space double column justified Times New Roman, for example -- so that the memory of what was there before doesn't get in front of the text you're seeing now.

I do small text-twiddles as I notice things, every time I look at the manuscript. The final polish comes after the whole plot is put together.

(The technique of writing one-parapgraph summaries of each chapter is a good one. Lots of people use it.)

Onward. When you find yourself adding a comma in the morning and taking it out in the afternoon -- that's when it's time to send off this manuscript and start the next one.

Three more amusing links
First novel advances; writers' careers (http://www.realrates.com/cgi-bin/authorrptd.cgi)

FAQ for Beginning Writers (http://www.sfwa.org/writing/faq2.htm)

The Economics of Publishing (http://www.mysterywriters.org/pages/resources/library/economics.htm)

06Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=110&pp=25)
Re: The First Two Pages
Sometimes it doesn't matter whether the scene in the writer's head matches the scene in the reader's head.

If the writer is imagining Russell Crowe and the reader is imagining Johnny Depp -- it doesn't matter so long as the plot isn't affected.

That elevator at the beginning of The Street Lawyer ... were the doors brass? Brushed chrome? Natural walnut? It doesn't matter. Each reader made a picture that made sense to them.

The biggest, blackest crow a character has ever seen will be interpreted by the readers in terms of the biggest, blackest crows they personally have ever seen. What of it? They'll supply the crow they need, in terms they understand.

(For that matter, I'd seriously consider whether the bigness of the crow or the blackness of the crow was the most important part of the description, and cut the other adjective.)

Only add detail if it enhances the story.

Remember the mantra:

The words belong that

Advance the plot,
Support the theme, or
Reveal character.

07Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=111&pp=25)
Public Service Announcment
I'm told that this entire bulletin board will migrate to another place sometime in the next two weeks.

We're assured that all posts and forums will remain intact. That this move will be transparent to the users.

Helicopter rotor blades are also transparent to the users. This doesn't help when you walk into one.

If (and I flatter myself to say so) you've found posts in this group worthwhile, now might be a good time to make your local copies.

09Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=111&pp=25)

Re: Learn Writing with Uncle Jim
Are you finished when you can't possibly do anything more to a story?

There, my friend, is where the art comes in. How does a cook know the soup is ready to serve? There's always something else you can do -- the question is whether there's something else you ought to do.

I can't give a real answer, not having read your story, but ... if it isn't in publishable range after nine to twelve drafts, it probably won't get there.

What kind of changes are you making each time around?

Is there any sort of guideline regarding when to use background description, and when you do, how much?

This is the guideline: The appropriate level of detail is a function of pace.

That is: No one can count the rivets on a moving train. If you want to show that the train isn't moving, start counting rivets.

Story ideas (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=112&pp=25)
Lessee -- origins of novels vary. I've used dreams and news stories, mostly. After that it's been playing "what if?" and "if this goes on" and "that's neat" and "who gets hurt?"

Take interesting characters, put them in interesting places, and see what they do.

One specific story idea started with a photo of Soviet troops in full chemical warfare rig. The question came to my mind: How would a 19th century farmer describe those men?

Another one was, suppose Harold Godwinson hadn't gone north to Stamford Bridge, but instead had stayed in the south and defeated William the Bastard? And, incidentally, suppose dragons, ogres, mermaids, unicorns, and giants were all literally real?

After that, it's watching the characters interact.

Usually, I don't start with the beginning. I start with an ending, see what characters are there, then back off, put those characters into a situation and see if they can get to the ending I was thinking of.

11Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=112&pp=25)
Re: Beginnings
Does your protagonist have no problems at all? Not even what to have for supper?

14Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=112&pp=25)

Re: Long form to short
Are there open market contests or places to get published for novella and long stories?

Well, I wouldn't enter contests at all. As to stories -- what's your genre? You'll find that there are some magazines that specialize in one genre or another. Some of them take quite long stories. Keep your eye open for original anthologies.

If you're a novella kinda person, you have to recognize that you've picked a very tough length to sell.

The reason I talk mostly about novels here is this is the novel board.

Re: Beginnings
With a short story, you ought to keep the ending in mind. It should be a satisfying one, and tie up the loose ends. (You have more room to leave unresolved threads in a novel.)

Think of a short story as a joke, a novel as a comedy routine.

Okay, markets:

Where do you find the short stories you read right now? (I trust you're reading short stories -- a lot of them.) Submit your stories to the same places you find the stories you like. Follow their guidelines to the letter.

If you're finding short stories in an anthology, write to the anthology's editor, and ask if he or she is planning another. Editors are friendly. If you enclose a SASE you'll probably hear back.

Analyse the heck out of the stories you like the best. Why do you like them? What's the author doing? Why? Read the stories like a writer, not like a reader.

And write. And send what you write off to people likely to buy it.

14Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=113&pp=25)

Re: Short story books...
James, please check out my post about apostrophes.

Looked to me like your post was about comas, not apostrophes, but (as someone else around here likes to say) what do I know?

If your grammar and punctuation are workmanlike or better, you're fine.

If you aren't confident, get a school review text and work your way through it.

When you're reading published prose, see how the punctuation works.

Other than that, concentrate on your story. Have a beta-reader who's a fiend for nitpicking the sentences.

15Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=113&pp=25)

Re: sending in the "package"
Okay, first, take a deep breath. Relax. Formats are not anywhere as important as they are in the world of screenplays.

First question: What do the publishers (and/or agent's) guidelines say? They should mention whether they want three-and-an-outline, or a full manuscript, or a query, or what. Guidelines from a specific market always trump every other consideration for that market.

Next:

Formatting the manuscript:

Single side of the paper, double spaced, one-inch margins.

Courier ten or courier twelve, unjustified.

Running head with your name, the title, the page number, on each page.

Manuscripts are sent loose, no binding of any kind.
========

Cover letters are no more than one page. The important parts are your name, address, and phone number. Genre and wordcount are next most important.

Spell the editor's name right.

========

For an outline or summary, be sure you include the surprising twist climax.

For submissions I keep outlines to ten pages single-spaced, and summaries to three or less.

========

If you do nothing else, always include a SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope).

17Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=113&pp=25)
Re: Writing Novels
Me, I don't bother with presentation folders, but I suppose it's harmless.

Yet Another Article
Yet another article you ought to read: Displaced Advice (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006006.html).

Re: Writing Novels
Does it have to be The Main Problem?

No -- just enough of a problem for the readers to want to turn the page to find out What Happens Next.
_________________

(Commercial announcement -- our next booksigning will be at Pandemonium Books in Cambridge, MA, 3pm to 4pm Saturday, 29 January 05.)

18Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=113&pp=25)
Re: Writing Novels
Thanks, indeed. My heart's cockles (not to mention my heart's mussels) are definitely warmed.

For reasons that we need not go into here, I too stopped writing for a while when I was 19.

Write, finish what you start, send it out. Repeat. That's the whole of the Magic Secret to Getting Published.

19Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=114&pp=25)
Royalties
Do the smaller publishing companies pay the same?

Yes, they pay the same royalty rates. The difference is they have smaller press runs, and show up on fewer shelves. Expect smaller advances, since they'll most likely be selling fewer copies.

Re: AGENT vs PUBLISHER
All agents (who are worth having) are looking for new authors (in a general sense). As other authors drop off their lists, or they increase the size of their agencies, or they feel they can take on more work. It's always in a state of flux.

But it's in a state of slow flux. The lists may not change for years.

So ... yeah, Ripper's summary is pretty good.

There's also approaching agents directly. Some people manage that route.

You can go two pronged: Publishers and agents at the same time.

But... it's a long process. You have to find someone who loves your book, and it has to arrive when that person (whether editor or agent) has an opening.

While you're waiting, write another book. Use everything you've learned while writing the first one to make the second one better.

20Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=114&pp=25)

Re: AGENT vs PUBLISHER
Exactly so. As that Writer's Digest bit went on to say, "During that time Grisham wrote The Firm."

It's a common item of folklore that Grisham self-published his first book. He didn't -- A Time to Kill was published in hardcover by a traditional advance-and-royalty paying New York publisher (albeit a small one).

Yes, he did do a lot of self-promotion. No, that isn't what made him a best seller.

What catapulted him into the ranks of bestsellerdom was when his second book (The Firm) sold to Hollywood before it was published, thanks to his agent. Nothing like a Tom Cruise movie (along with having a strong plot and solid prose) to notch you up a bit.

Re: So far.
It doesn't help that (I confess) I don't really like to /read/ short stories. I'm a brick-of-a-novel sort of reader, and really, that's what I want to write. On the other hand, doesn't popular wisdom advise one to work out the kinks in a shorter medium?

It doesn't make much sense to me to write a form that you don't enjoy reading.

And many fine novelists have never published a short story in their lives.

I have 68 pages right now, but half of that is not story. When I'm stuck, which is all the time, to get myself writing I write whatever I have to. I go over the scenes but don't list dialogue, or I write about what I think the next scene should be. Whatever I have to do to keep my hands moving.

Hey, that's nothing. In some of my outlines I have myself as a character, talking about what I want to have happen in a scene, discussing it with the characters.

Whatever it takes to get words on the page. You can work with words on the page. It's a lot harder to work on ideas that are only in your head.

26Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=115&pp=25)
Re: double-space within a line?
All that double-spacing after a period means is that you learned how to type on a real typewriter. Folks who learned how on a computer tend to use one space.

Be consistent, otherwise don't worry about it.

Meanwhile, a charming story (http://www.theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4104&o=2).

27Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=116&pp=25)

Re: Chess and writing
So, here are the questions what can you tell from a person's chess game about his/her writing style?

Nothing.

It's all symbolic; a way of thinking about novels.

I've been trying to explain in several ways how I think about novels -- they're like a chess game, they're like a model house, they're like a knot -- but really, only a novel is a novel.

The chess thing still and more: Put your pieces in strong positions, and combinations will arise = put your characters in interesting situations, and story will arise.

And again: studying openings will teach you openings; studying endgames will teach you chess = analysing first chapters will teach you first chapters; analysing climaxes will teach you plot.

If something I say makes no sense, leave it be. Maybe it means something to someone else. Maybe the next thing I say will mean something to you.

Take what's useful to you. Leave the rest.

Re: chess and writing
It isn't even chess in general that I'm recommending, it's one particular chess book: Logical Chess Move by Move.

It shows a way of analysing the game that I find useful also in analysing novels. Go through, line by line (move by move) and see what the author is doing. Go through your own works line by line, and see what the story is doing. Is it moving? Is it supporting future action? Are you boxing yourself in or building a strong structure?

That's another part of what I'm saying.

28Jan05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=116&pp=25)

How to fatten
Try this: Remember way back when, I suggested that you retype the first chapter of a novel you admire?

How's this: Take that novel you admire, and count the paragraphs in a chapter. Count the sentences in the paragraphs. Count the words in the sentences.

Now:

Take your over-brief chapter. Fit it to the outline of the other, admired book. Use the same number of paragraphs with the same number of sentences and words.

Treat this like a word game. A puzzle. See what comes out the far side. Have fun doing it.

MacAllister

04-10-2005, 12:02 AM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim
February 2005
01Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=117&pp=25)

Re: Hello
Hi, Tasha --

First, you make do with what time you have. Just don't let thinking about writing substitute for writing.

Next -- the character with the relative who has the mental disorder: Write the book. Finish it. In the second draft, draw a red pencil line through all the references to that relative. Problem solved.

(Though the other two solutions you propose, writing a novel about that disorder or seeking therapy yourself, both have something to be said for them.)

Other than that .... don't worry about rambling in the first draft. (While other writers work in other ways) I find that rambling in the first draft is a happy and healthy thing. It gives you room to play and material to play with in the second, third, and fourth drafts.

Write, finish what you're writing. Revise. If you can do that, and be happy with what you've done, you've done what writers do.
__________________________________________________

02Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=117&pp=25)
The Worst Book Ever
This is it, kids: The worst book ever.

Atlanta Nights (http://www.lulu.com/content/102550) by Travis Tea (http://www.lulu.com/travis-tea).

Read the Press release (http://www.prweb.com/releases/2005/1/prweb202277.htm).
See what the fans are saying (http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/620064.html).

"Fascinating. A total subversion of the most fundamental dichotomies of Western literature, in particular good/bad; an autodeconstructing textual engine that poses but never answers the unposable (but in today's world, far too answerable) questions. A full on assault on the centricity of such dominating ideas as quality, consistency, coherence, and that dirty books ought to give me a stiffy."
-- John Barnes

"The world is full of bad books written by amateurs. But why settle for the merely regrettable? Atlanta Nights is a bad book written by experts."
-- T. Nielsen Hayden
"Don't fail to miss it if you can!"
-- Jerry Pournelle

http://www.lulu.com/themes/common/images/icons/buynow_blue2.gif (http://www.lulu.com/commerce/addreg.php?fBuyContent=102550)

Re: The Worst Book Ever
Uncle Jim, how would you craft a query letter for this literary gem?

Very, very earnestly.

In point of fact, Travis didn't have to worry about a query letter. Like poetry.com, PublishAmerica will accept anything you send them, while Lulu.com is just a printer and will take anything you send them.

In other news, Atlanta Nights has sold 75 copies. That's equal to what the average PublishAmerica book will sell over its entire life.
_____________________________________________

03Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=117&pp=25)
Re: The Worst Book Ever
I tend to find, though, that I generally do the exact opposite of what everyone else here does, so my chances of ever writing anything publishable look slim!

Is what you're doing working for you?

And is what comes out the far end something that other folks want to read?

Those are the only two real questions in writing. The rest is all commentary.

Re: The Worst Book Ever
Welcome, Lenora.

I hope this thread has encouraged you to log off and start scribbling at least once....
__________________________________________________

04Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=117&pp=25)
Re: The Worst Book Ever
"We like the story, but it needs more work" sounds very much like you need to play more on the noun-and-verb level.

So, study grammar, check your style, and get on with it. Analyse published stories to see what they are and aren't doing.

I'm afraid I don't have a magic bullet here other than "Do The Hard Work."
_________________________________________

05Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=118&pp=25)

Re: The Worst Book Ever

There's a low-carb version (http://www.fabulousfoods.com/recipes/dessert/piestarts/lclimemeringue.html) of that Lime Pie out there....

I gave the recipe to my friend April Fields, and she converted it.

So, onward!
______________________________

06Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=118&pp=25)

Article
Your story-fu is strong, young Jedi!

Not how I'd planned to gain fame, but hey, I'll take it: LA Times (http://www.calendarlive.com/templates/misc/printstory.jsp?slug=cl-et-hoax5feb05&section=%2Fbooks) sting story.
________________________________________________

07Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=118&pp=25)
Read this

A great article (http://writingcraft.deep-magic.net/article.php?id=54).

In the words of the Nihilistic Kid: "If publicity worked any less well or less often no one would do it at all."
________________________________________

08Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=118&pp=25)

Re: What's in a name?

All imprints should be trusted, even if you don't know the author. That's the point of imprints.

Let me give you an example, from my youth.

Long ago, my income was $100/month. (I was a college student at the time.)

That left me enough room to buy one phonograph record every now and then, if I skipped eating for a week.

I liked (and still do like) folk music. Many of my favorites were on Elektra records.

So one day, after I'd saved my money, there I was in a record store. And golly! Here's a new record by a group I'd never heard of, on the Elektra label. I bought it.

I got it home -- and discovered it was unlistenable. Really wretched stuff. Not folk at all. Garbage.

I never bought another Elektra record.

Years later, I read an interview with some guy who had taken over the Elektra label. When he found it it was, so he said, "Old folkies at home." So he shook 'em up! Showed 'em something different! Changed everything!

Bastard.

Re: What's in a name?
When Doyle and I started writing together, we decided to use our real names rather than some joint pseudonym.

So the next question was, whose name goes first? Doyle is way ahead of Macdonald in the alphabet, and so would be shelved higher (closer to eye-level, near the start of the section) in the bookstores.

Re: Foreshadowing vs Set Piece

If my name were Bob Zoolander, I'd use it.

(Being near the end of the alphabet doesn't hurt Jane Yolen.)

Having a memorable name doesn't hurt either.

(Actually, it's all probably folklore and superstition. So few things are under our control that when something comes along that is under our control -- the name on the cover -- we grab it with both hands.)
______________________________

11Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=118&pp=25)

Catch up
The posts from the old board (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=99315&postcount=2944), ported over:

For reasons that seemed good to us, we've set up a LiveJournal to discuss our latest Work In Progress, a novel called (working title) Mist And Snow due later this year to Avon/Eos.

www.livejournal.com/users/mist_and_snow/ (http://www.livejournal.com/users/mist_and_snow/)

See y'all there. (And here.)

http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/jim.jpg
http://www.ezboard.com/themes/softsky/unread.gif Re: What's in a name?

ABM = Author's Big Mistake. The ABM is replying in any way to an unfavorable review.

I don't think that particular writer was committing the ABM. An ABM is more on the line of "I read your review and here's why it's wrong and, incidentally, you're a poop" not "I refuse to read reviews and think reviewers in general are poops."

Asimov was a professor of biochemistry at Boston University.
___________
Re: What's in a name?

What is the best way to find out about publishers? If you add in the small presses, there seem to be overwhelming numbers of them.

To know the artist, study the art.

There are around twenty thousand publishers -- but by the time you get to the end of the list you're looking at historical societies that put out an annual Old Home Days Cookbook.

So ... read books. See who published the ones you admire. See who published the ones that resemble your book.

Get their guidelines. Follow their guidelines. To the letter.

(Books like Writers Market and Literary Market Place are good starting points, but your own research is necessary. No one source is error-free or foolproof.)

There are only two things under your control as a writer:

How well you write, and
Where you submit.

Both should be the best possible.

book publishing (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/publishing.htm)
____________________

Reviews

Good point.

The reviewer isn't the writer's friend. The reviewer works for the reader.

To that end, there's no need for the writer to read the reviewer's works.

(And a reviewer who's wrong 100% of the time is more useful to me as a reader than one who's right 50% of the time. With the former, if the reviewer recommends a book I know to stay away while if he trashes it I know to go pick up a copy. With the latter I might as well flip a coin.)
_________________________

IMPORTANT NOTICE

No more posts to this thread, please. We're about to go flying over to the New Board. New posts won't go with us.

Anyone who wanted to copy this thread, do it now!
___________________________

New Digs
It'll take some getting used to, but nothing I can't learn....

I hope.

That's
That's 'cause it's a Super Thread.

When is this board going live? Can we tell all our friends? (I have a link off my homepage, for example....)
__________________

Viable Paradise Workshop (http://www.sff.net/paradise/)

A week with working writers and acquiring editors
____________________________________________

12Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=119&pp=25)

Learning Curve

It'll take all of us a while to learn how to use the new board.
_____________________

13Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=119&pp=25)
Copyright
The discussion happened in the old board.

The reasons are:

a) It's unnecessary. Copyright exists from the moment the work is fixed in tangible form
b) It's unnecessary. No one is going to steal an unpublished book. (Several reasons for this, the chiefest one being that anyone who thinks it's publishable not only wants this work but wants your next one too.) If it's good enough to steal it's good enough to buy.
c) It will tell folks that your manuscript has been in your desk drawer or in the slushpile for the last ten years.
d) The pros don't do it.
e) Who wants to waste thirty bucks on something that's going to get rejected anyway?

To go along with this -- only submit your manuscript to legitimate publishers. You and they have similar interests: You both want to sell books to readers. Legitimate publishers have the practical ability to do it; and they need you.

Collection

By all means, collect my posts. Just a few requests:

First, leave my name on them.
Second, don't publish them elsewhere.
Third, remember that I can't give permission for any other person. I only own my own words. Other people's posts belong to them.

14Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=120&pp=25)

Monday Morning Weirdness

For those who aren't getting enough Weird in their diet: Read or Die (http://www.rodthetv.com/).

Next -- by "don't publish them elsewhere" I mean, don't put the posts themselves on other forums, or print 'em in a book to peddle at fairs, or anything like that. An index (here or elsewhere) would be a good thing.

Welcome to Savannah.

And hi to Denis -- yeah, it works, doesn't it? If you're a writer, put yourself in a situation where you can write. The rest follows.

Advice?
I've got nothing but advice for you, Tim....

First bit being that I haven't read your book, so I can't tell.

Here's what you do: Try. Rewrite as you've outlined, put it aside for a month, then reread. Make any changes you think are necessary. Then try it on your beta-readers.

Call it Draft #whatever. If it doesn't work, try something else in the next draft. (And at the same time, during that month it's in your desk drawer, start your next book.)

All I can say is try. If it works, then it's right.

Formatting

Oh yeah, formatting.

Every chapter starts on a new page.

Drop half-way down the page, put your chapter title or chapter number, then doublespace and start your chapter.

All that room is for two purposes: to allow room for the editor to make notes, and to get the page turned faster.

Sticky
Quote:
Originally Posted by detante
Hey mods, any chance we could make this thread a sticky note?

I'd prefer not ... if it ever loses steam and falls down and off the first page due to lack of posts, it deserves to sink. Keeping it on the first page will give me incentive to post more.
___________________________________________

15Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=120&pp=25)

Consider rather

I don't know as editors consider the length of first chapters ... but they do consider the pace.

This is mostly because the readers in the bookstore, scanning your book, are considering the pace.

Your beta-readers may have given you the benefit of the doubt when they went on despite a slow beginning. The random reader won't.

(In a second-or-subsequent book, the people who read and enjoyed your first book will give you the opportunity to start more slowly. For a first book ... move fast out of the gate.)

So ... rather than cutting the first chapter in two, try speeding it up by cutting out the parts that are just there to build the relationship and set the scene. The relationship and the scene should develop by themselves over the course of the following hundred plus pages.

For every word, ask yourself, "Is this here to move the plot along, or to horse the reader up on the situation?" If it's the latter, cut that word.
_______________________________

16Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=120&pp=25)

Contests
Why not contests?

Because unless it's something major, like the Pulitzer or the Nobel Prize, who's heard of them? The East Amberg Community College Literature Award isn't going to impress anyone.

Next, if your writing is good enough to win a contest, it's good enough for someone to buy. Actually being published does give you a worthwhile credit.

Third, writing contests that cost money violate Yog's Law.

Fourth, writing contests may blow your First Rights if the winning entries are printed somewhere.

==============

Every publisher in the world has a contest every day. The cost of entry is postage, and the prize is paid publication.
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Viable Paradise Workshop (http://www.sff.net/paradise/)
A week with working writers and acquiring editors

Writers of the Future
They can call it a contest if they like, but it's really an open anthology series.

(Some people don't like WOTF's connection with Scientology -- let your conscience be your guide.)

Worthwhile "contests" have a) no entry fee, b) don't pay in publication alone, and c) books that show up on bookstore shelves.
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17Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=121&pp=25)

Quote:
Originally Posted by gp101
Are both acceptable, or is the manner you described the ONE that is expected?

The one I mentioned is the usual one. No one is going to reject a manuscript just based on the position of the chapter title on the page.

What you're doing is giving the editor room to put notes, instructions to the typesetter, and so on. (Lots of editing is done by hand, with pencil.) It also clearly marks The Is The Start Of A New Chapter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenora Rose
In the instance of a novella already rejected by all pro-paying magazines that took novella length, at a time when no open anthologies seemed to want a 20k story.

We aren't talking about novellas or short stories (much) in this area. Novellas in particular are very tough to place. It's not a popular length. (It works out to one story taking too great a percentage of a given magazine or anthology.

Still, I'd exhaust every possible market before trying a contest, and even then I'd only pick ones that paid with more than mere publication, and I'd avoid paying an entry fee.

"Anything is better than unpublished" isn't a good motto. (Among other things, being badly published is worse than remaining unpublished.)

In the end you know your own situation, and your own goals, best.
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18Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=121&pp=25)

Contests
Since the subject of contests has been raised, here's a page of scam contests (http://windpub.com/literary.scams/).

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22Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=121&pp=25)

Update
Today I'll be in Connecticut, at UConn, talking to a couple of classes who are taking "Publishing."

Heaven help me. And them.

23Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=121&pp=25)

Printing isn't publishing
I kept waiting for some student to leap to his feet and say "Thanks to the Xerox® DocuTech™ machine, everyone can be published!" just so I could laugh at him cruelly and say "Printing isn't publishing."

First Posted Elsewhere
One way to improve almost any manuscript is to go through and remove any poetry you find, regardless of its source.

Leaving the copyright/permissions question entirely aside, most poetry is bad. Even if no lyrics are used, most references to popular music only serve to date the story more quickly.

Assuming that your readers are a) familiar with a particular song, and b) will have the same emotional reaction to that song that you do, is probably a bad assumption.
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24Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=122&pp=25)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galoot
I'm 80% there!

Welcome, Galoot! We kinda have fun here, messing around with writing.

Too many people don't burn their first novels (Hemingway dropped his over the side of a ship in mid-Atlantic, which also counts). That's an excellent first step.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenora Rose
Have you found particular pros and cons to this? Do you have specific advice for collaborating successfully, and is your usual way of collaborating (Which you suggest at in things like the intro to The Stars Asunder) much like the methods of other collaborators you know?

There are as many different ways of collaborating as there are different collaborators. All of them, however, depend on one thing: the collaborators bring different strengths to the mix, and work in their area of strength.

Some alternate chapters, each one trying with a cliffhanger ending to put the partner in a "what do I do now?" situation. It's a goad to getting the work finished, and turns the project into a game. (Eventual publication is a happy benefit.) Others hash out what will happen verbally; the writing either could do as a mechanical process afterward. I've heard of another set of collaborators wherein one person lay on a couch sending thought-waves to the other, who sat in a different room transcribing them. It may seem wacky, but they thought of themselves as collaborators, and who's to say they were wrong?

All of thes have one thing in common: They involve getting the words on paper.

Quote:
How much input do you think another person should have on the final product before they stop being a first reader/draft editor/copyeditor and start counting as an actual partner? Do they have to be involved from the zero draft, or can they come in later if they end up changing the plot enough?

That's a real "let your conscience be your guide" kind of question. In my own case, all that Dr. Doyle added to one story was three linebreaks... and she got co-author credit. In another, entire chapters were hers alone, and I got co-author credit. We long ago decided that the way our partnership worked, the amount of "writing" wasn't what counted. I get final say on what happens, she gets final say on how it's said, and we continue.

I will say this: Collaboration on fiction is the closest relationship two people can have. Perhaps that will help you decide the difference between a beta reader and a collaborator. Or -- if whether to make a particular change is your decision alone, and you can make it or not without caring how the other person feels about your decision, you aren't collaborating.
__________________

Viable Paradise Workshop (http://www.sff.net/paradise/)

A week with working writers and acquiring editors

______________________________

28Feb05 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=122&pp=25)

Originally Posted by black winged fighter
This has been bothering me for a long time, and now I finally have a community to ask:
How hard is it to get published by a USA publisher/UK publisher if you live in Saudi Arabia or Dubai? Or anywhere else, for that matter.
Insight would be incredibly welcome.

Sold my first short story and two novels while active duty deployed in the Republic of Panama. All you need for this business is a mailbox.

(Oh, yes, and a story that grabs on and won't let go.)
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Outside Links
Two of 'em! This one's funny (http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/).

This one not so much (http://www.lex18.com/Global/story.asp?S=2989614).

All I can say is that's a stupid law, and should be treated with contempt. I will refrain from commenting on the intelligence of those who proposed the law, passed it, and are presently enforcing it.

After what he did in Carrie I sure hope Stephen King doesn't try to visit Kentucky.....
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MacAllister

02-12-2006, 02:02 AM

James D. Macdonald
Learn Writing With Uncle Jim
Absolute Write Water Cooler

March 1, 2005 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=123&pp=25)

Originally Posted by Eowen
Given all that, I was wondering if Uncle Jim would be willing to answer some questions about some very specific instances where he has used song lyrics in some of his novels.
Okay.

First, how did you come up with the lyrics used in the Mageworlds novels?
Wrote 'em.

Are they in any way inspired by specific real folk songs, or are they wholy original?
In one case, a WWI aviator's song ("Beside a Belgian Staminet"), which was itself a parody of a 19th c. dying hobo song ("Beside a Western Water Tank"). In the other, a song from the Klondike gold rush ("The Young Britsh Rancher"), which was a parody of Kipling's "Young British Soldier."

Second, do any of the songs have verses that were not used in the novels?
In those cases, no. In the cases of other songs, for other books, there are entire songs that aren't used at all.

And for the non-musically inclined, do you have a better explanation than mine for why the song lyrics were more appropriate than a section of prose in the places where they were used? (My explanation is something along the lines of, It Just Fits.)
It was something that was going on at the time (a drunken wake, for example), not the point of the scene. And it was brief. And funny all on its own. And -- if I were writing those books today I might not have used them.

Finally, did you have any particular melodies in mind for any of the lyrics you used? I ask because I can half hear certain folk songs in the back of my mind when I read the lyrics.

I always have melodies in mind; that's what keeps the rhyme and meter working.

One book, (Horror High #7, Pep Rally, by "Nicholas Adams" was based entirely on a song -- but that was special circumstances. The series editor had gone on maternity leave without comissioning the last two books of the series, but without telling anyone, either. So ... one day at the publisher's, they noticed when the printing date was coming up, that they didn't have a text to send to the printer. "Ooops!" they said, and called Known Fast Writers. We landed that one.

The song ...

We decided on a heroine who would be menaced. Her name was Rachel Atmore (changed to Cathy in the finished book, for reasons that ... well, it was stupid, but global search-and-replace fixed it). Story would have worked better with the original name. Y'see, as Rachel, her nickname would have been Rache, which is German for Revenge (Study in Scarlet, anyone?) which was her function in the plot. So, who was going to be dead for her to avenge? Her buddy, Jennie. Who became Jenny Buddy, thence Jenny Brody. Which led to the song, (to the tune of John Brown's Body)

Jennie Brody's bloody body's bundled in a body bag,
Jennie Brody's bloody body's bundled in a body bag,
Jennie Brody's bloody body's bundled in a body bag,
But her legs go marching on.

Gory, gory, Jenny Brody....

Which gave enough plot to drive the story.

________________________________

As slush goes, Atlanta Nights is actually pretty good. It's got punctuation and most of the sentences have verbs.

Atlanta Nights falls into the category of So Bad It's Good. Most of your basic slush falls into the categories of Bad, Just Plain Bad, and So Bad It's Bad.

You want the Slushreading Experience? Go over to fanfiction.net (http://www.fanfiction.net/), start anywhere, and read story after story for four straight hours.

For far more on this, check out Slushkiller (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html).

I promise you: If you can write two consecutive pages of grammatical English with standard spelling you are already in the top ten percent of the slush heap. (This shouldn't give you too much hope, because the sales come from the top one percent, but still....)
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To the tune of Okie from Muskogee

We don't write 'bout zombies in Kentucky
We don't write 'bout vamps or boogiemen
We don't set our stories in the high schools
Or cops will come and take us to the pen.
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The usual response to reading slush is to suddenly discover that you're a much better writer than you thought you were.
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Nevertheless, I promise you that some of the stories at fanfiction.net are good, because these are stories that can't be legally published (copyright and trademark violations if anyone tries).

With the general run of on-line fiction, there's a ceiling to how good it is -- by the time someone is writing mysteries that are of publishable quality, they go off and get published. Not so of fanfic: No matter how good your Star Trek story is, if you weren't commissioned by Paramount, it's never going to be printed.

Can you imagine going through all the stories there trying to find the good one? That's the slush heap.

Okay, how many of you have seen the movie All That Jazz? Go see it, okay?

Look at the opening scenes, with all the dancers on the bare stage. Think of those dancers as stories in the slush heap. See that guy in the boots, telling some of them to leave and asking some of them to stay? Think of him as the editor. See those guys sitting in the audience? They're the editor-in-chief and the publisher.
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Hi, Andreas!

My father lived and worked in Brasil for many years (for Eucatex, near Sao Paulo). Lessee about your questions:
Originally Posted by aplath

1) If I can get my act straight in english as far as grammar and spelling goes and assuming that my stories are worth translating from portuguese, do you think the fact that I'm a foreign writer would be a hindrance in any way when submiting my stories?

No, where you live won't make any difference to US publications. The quality of the story really is what counts.

2) Even though I believe my english is quite decent, having a few native english speakers beta readers is probably a good idea. Is it possible to find people willing to do that through the net (here for instance)?

Yes, definitely get a native speaker or two among your beta-readers. Check out some of the on-line workshops, if you don't happen to have a native English speaker who lives nearby (and who would be interested).
3) Although I realize that there are several paying markets for short stories in the US (and perhaps UK), I am not aware of them since I live abroad. Where can I find reliable information on those including genre and submission guidelines (and perhaps examples of what kind of stories they publish).

How about the on-line version of Writer's Market (http://www.writersmarket.com/)?

For Fantasy/Science Fiction, you could try ralan.com (http://www.ralan.com/)
For mystery, try ClueLass (http://www.cluelass.com/MystHome/WritersGuide.html)
For romance, try Gila Queen (http://gilaqueen.us/)

Many magazines have their own web pages with their guidelines listed. Once you know the name of the 'zine, start searching. (And, really, read an issue or two of any market you're planning to submit to. See if what you've written would fit there, and see if they've got a 'zine you'd want your work to appear in.)

If you can lay your hands on any "Year's Best" anthologies, see where the stories first appeared. Those will be your top markets.
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Originally Posted by reph
Can someone whose chief identified strength is wit "learn" to produce commercially acceptable fiction pieces longer than one sentence?

Yes, I believe so (else I'm wasting my time and everyone else's time here).

Here's something for you to try. Take an old, bad joke.

Write it out at short-story length, with description, dialog, scene, and so on.

Here you go: Write this one at 5,000-7,500 words. Modern, realistic. Then send it out to paying markets 'til Hell won't have it:

There are these two guys going on a skiing vacation. They drive way up into Vermont, and they get lost. It's late, it's snowing, the roads are narrow and all look alike ... when they see a light on in a farmhouse. They pull up the drive and knock on the door.

A beautiful young lady answers the door. They explain their predicament, and ask if they can stay the night.

She says, "Yes, I suppose so, but it wouldn't be right for you to stay in the house, since I've recently become a widow and I'm alone here." They agree to stay in the barn.

The next morning comes, the guys get up, the lady gives them breakfast and directions to the highway, and they're off. They have a great vacation.

Nine months later...

One of the guys is sitting in his office when he gets a long-distance phone call. He listens for a while, very quiet. Then he dials his buddy.

He says, "Do you remember when we went on that vacation last year?"

"Sure do," his buddy says.

"And you remember getting lost?"

"Yep, sure do."

"And do you remember sleeping in the barn there?"

"Yeah. The straw sure was scratchy."

"Well, did you happen to wake up durning the night?"

"Yeah, I did. I had to go to the bathroom."

"And did you happen go up to the house?"

"Well, there wasn't a toilet in the barn...."

"And while you were up there, did you maybe make mad, passionate love with that nice young lady?"

"Yeah, I guess I did...."

"And did you happen to accidentally tell her you were me?"

"I meant to tell you, honest!"

"Well, I just got a call from her lawyer ... and she's died and left me fourteen million dollars in her will."

-=--

Note: The story you write doesn't have to be funny, or even have the same punchline. It can continue past that point. Other things can happen.

Now, go write the story.
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Maestrowork said: Ooo, Jim, that's good. Can I post that in "Exercise and Prompts"?

Sure, Maestro. Just point back to here.

Refinement on the exercise: take two old, bad, unrelated jokes, and combine them into a single story. Same requirements.
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March 3, 2005 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=124&pp=25)

Originally Posted by Mistook
There's a lot of levels of bad, and amateur web fiction is down there, but I don't know if I like the whole karmic aspect of mocking these writers.

These writers aren't being mocked, at least by me.

First, when you've published something (and posting it on the web is publishing), that opens it up to comment.

Second, if you want to see what typical slush looks like, that's what it looks like. (With the exception of the use of trademarked and/or copyrighted characters -- just global search-and-replace "Legolas" with "Busreail" and you've got it.)
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A general observation
Writers, on their web pages, should not include music. And they should especially not include the Floating Butterfly (http://www.dynamicdrive.com/dynamicindex4/butterfly_dev.htm) java script.
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Welcome, Susan. Pipe up any time.

There's nothing wrong with fanfic (and I've mentioned using it to learn some parts of storytelling waaaay upthread). And some of it is excellent. But (like the slush heap in general) most of it is less-excellent.

Zane -- if you use the numbers/letters/roman numerals thing to outline, and you make it work -- more power to you.
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Originally Posted by JohnLynch
I also later found out that I use to enjoy reading your books way back in 1997 when I was just starting high-school. The library had the first three or so Circle of Magic books (no, don't ask me how I remembered that ;))

Way back in '97 ... oh, dear. You make me feel old. But I'm glad you liked the books. (Pick up the last three and find out how it all turned out....)

Nothing wrong with not wanting to be a pro writer, but still wanting to write as well as possible. For Your Own Enjoyment is the best possible reason to write. (But... if you're writing you are a writer. You can't escape.) __________________

In case you haven't got enough things to waste your time, here's a page to help you check the popularity of your web page (http://www.widexl.com/remote/link-popularity/index.html).

Wax that cat!
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Taken from Elsewhere
I'm going to copy in a fairly long post of mine from the old board, from another thread there. While it's mostly about another publisher (one that I hope no one here is contemplating), I've got some general stuff about publishing that I think might be useful, and I don't think it should be buried elsewhere.

----------------------------------------

Let us look at Denison "Denny" Hatch, PA author and apologist. In his article, About U.S. Book Publishing and PublishAmerica (http://pricelineandthemedia.com/doc/aboutpa.html) I believe we have the ur-source for a great deal of the nonsense that PA's Infocenter regularly spouts.

Hatch is a real writer, with serious publishing experience (mostly in the 1960s-1980s).

In the late '90s he wrote a book about Priceline.com:The priceline.com book is a business how-to title, but more a case study than anything else. My regular publishers were not interested; it did not fit their list.

I sent it to Bloomberg and Wiley who turned me down. Suggested it to a Norton senior editor who said, "This is not my kind of book."
By its looks, he's got a specialized non-fiction book with a defined niche. He's gotten some rejections. So he goes with the fast acceptance from PublishAmerica. So far, he says, he's satisfied.

Fair enough, he's a big boy and can make his own decisions.

As the author of a specialized non-fiction niche book, he's in one of the few places where a self-published author can make significant sales. Mr. Hatch is an expert in direct-mail marketing -- he's written several books on the subject -- so he knows something about marketing. If anyone is going to succeed at PublishAmerica, he's the guy. And if he'd left his comments at that, I wouldn't have a thing to say about his article.

But now he's generalizing his experience to areas where it isn't applicable, and his comments are likely to mislead new authors who are considering PublishAmerica.Am I happy with PublishAmerica as opposed to a traditional publisher? So far, the answer is an emphatic YES.
I note that he made that remark before his first PA royalties would have come in. Interesting that he said "as opposed to a traditional publisher," when PA spends so much time and makes such efforts to call themselves a "traditional publisher." But more on this anon."Traditional book publishing is very efficient at one thing and one thing only: creating landfill. Otherwise, it is the most screwed-up, wasteful, and depressing business model ever cobbled together by people who should have known better and done something to change it."
Mr. Hatch is doing an elaborate version of "all these people are just stupid."

Come, come. Traditional book publishing is very efficient at one other thing: Getting books into the hands of the reading public. What this statement clearly establishes is that Denny Hatch doesn't understand how publishing works. He's looked at a set of complex interlocking non-intuitive systems, and decided that the only reason publishers do things the way they do is because it's never occurred to them to try anything else.

Part of what's going on in publishing is that publishers are running their advertising and product distribution through the same channel. Books are self-advertising. There's no such thing as a 100% success rate on any advertising message.

In the case of mass market publishing, they're also piggybacking on existing distribution systems. There are associated costs, most notably stripped books, but piggybacking is cheaper than putting together a dedicated system to reach non-bookstore outlets.

"The one-word profit killer-Returns" Denny says, noting that returns have been around since the 1930s, but not noting that publishing has apparently been conducted profitably every year since, and not noticing that even today bookstores have tiny profit margins. If you want to put a bunch of bookstores out of business, end the return system. That won't increase book sales. The returns system means there are lots more bookstores, and lots more books get shipped to them. Remember: A book on a shelf isn't just a product for sale. It's also an advertisement for itself.

Denny then gives an example of how returns work -- but it's an extreme and untypical example:* A bookstore orders 20 copies of ABC by Sample A. Sample on a 60-day net payment arrangement.
* Of those 20 copies, 4 sell within 40 days, leaving 16 in inventory.
* Bookseller pays for the 4 copies it sold (at a discount of somewhere between 40% and 55%), and returns the unsold 16 copies.
* Bookseller then orders 4 copies to keep in inventory.
* Over the next 40 days bookseller sells 1 copy, leaving 3 in inventory.
* Bookseller pays publisher for the one sold copy and returns the 3 unsold copies.
* Bookseller orders 1 copy for inventory.
Under this cockamamie business model, the publisher has shipped to the bookseller 25 copies in three shipments; the bookseller has returned 20 copies two shipments; the publisher has been paid for five copies that were sold and has 15 copies sitting in the warehouse gathering dust. Yes, the bookseller pays for return shipping. But the publisher has printed books and paid for all the handling and warehousing. Profitability is impossible.
Of the twenty books printed in the example he gives, five have sold. That's a 25% sell-through he's showing. Under that cockamamie example, author "Sample A. Sample" would be well-advised to change his name and his agent, grow a beard, and move to another state before he tries to publish anything else. More typically, paperbacks see a 60% sell-through. Hardcovers get a 70% sell-through. Everyone makes money, everyone's happy.

Sell-through can dip to 50%, and people won't be as happy, but they'll still be making money.

Publishers know there are costs associated with publishing a book. Distribution and shipping are among those costs. They plan for them, budget for them, and set prices to cover them.

If profitability is impossible, how is it that publishers demonstrably make profits?

As the Author's Guild (http://www.authorsguild.org/miscfiles/midlist.pdf) reports, "returns have never been important enough to cause fundamental economic trouble."

Here's what the returns policy really gets you: More bookstores can open in more towns. More writers can write more books, and more marginal books can be published. Readers can find a wider selection on the shelves.

A realistic example? The bookstore orders five, sells three, returns two. Those two hang around the warehouse. They may be shipped to another bookstore, or they may be remaindered.

Denny worked in publishing, he's been an author, he must know that the story he's presenting is bogus. Why is he putting out bad information? Perhaps one reason he's slagging off the returns system is because PA doesn't do returns. He's trying to present this as a good thing.

In the real world, what a no-returns policy does is kill any chance PA authors might have had of getting real bookstore distribution.So how do publishers make money?

* One way is to sign up guaranteed best sellers by Stephen King, Michael Crichton, Bob Woodward, Andrew Weil, J.K. Rowling, or Princess Di's butler.
If there really is a "guaranteed" best seller it's the best-kept secret in publishing.

Before he sold his first novel, Carrie, Stephen King was a guy living in a trailer in Maine, working nights in an industrial laundry and selling short stories to men's skin mags. Rowling was a single mother living on the dole in Edinburgh. Crichton was a newly graduated MD, unknown by anyone outside of his family and friends. How did the publishers who bought those authors' first novels know they were "guaranteed best sellers"?

By the time you know some author is a bestseller, they'll have top-gun agents who will have raised their asking price to right around the maximum the publisher is willing to pay. Not only that, but their current publisher will have their next several books signed up already. Suppose I ran a publishing house, and I wanted to guarantee a best seller. Could I say, "Well, I'll just publish the next Harry Potter novel"? No, I couldn't. It isn't for sale to me at any price.

As to the celebrity books -- they're a tiny part of the market. Three to seven percent. When they do well, they provide cash to pay for smaller works by less-well-known authors.* Or they shoot craps and get very, very lucky, as they did with Hillary Clinton and Laura (Seabiscuit) Hillenbrand.
Why didn't Denny put Hillary in the "guaranteed best seller" category? To Laura (Seabiscuit) Hillenbrand you can add Charles (Cold Mountain) Frazier, Nicholas (The Notebook) Sparks, Jennifer (Good in Bed) Weiner, and every other published novelist with two books in your favorite bookstore.

Spotting likely books is why editors get salaries and have job titles. When one is shooting craps, the man who understands the odds and knows when to fade the shooter has an edge over the man who doesn't. An even better analogy for publishing would be professional card-counters playing blackjack.

As one major poker player puts it: "Your job is not to win hands. It's to make good bets." That's what real editors and publishers are doing. They're trying to make good bets. Not every bet succeeds. Not every hand they stay with to the end will win. But if they do it right, they'll make money.* Or they come out with a hot subject, such as Soctt Berg's biography of Katherine Hepburn that made it onto bookstore shelves less than two weeks after she died.
Berg's biography of Hepburn had been written (and sold) years before. It wasn't released until after Ms. Hepburn's death, at her request.

Denny should have put Princess Di's Butler and Bob Woodward in this category.* Or they have a series, such as Norton's Aubrey-Maturin nautical adventures by Patrick O'Brien that keep attracting new readers and continue sell year after year (with serious help from Peter Weir's film version of Master and Commander starring Russell Crowe).The Jack Aubrey series was popular long before there was a movie. Russell Crowe was only five years old in 1969 when the first book came out. In fact, O'Brien died in 2000; the film was released in 2003. That series isn't popular because there was a movie; the movie was made because the series was popular. So add to that "crap shoot" above, Patrick ( Master and Commander) O'Brien.

Who made the Jack Aubrey books sell? The readers, that's who. Readers who found the books in bookstores. Fully returnable books. Readers who recommended the books to one another. That's what really did it. Readers buy books for the same reasons you do.* Or they build up a critical mass of special-interest titles that appeal to specific markets (e.g., titles on cooking, automobiles, boats, gardening, health and fitness, crafts, music, etc.)
Specialized non-fiction will sell to those who want that specialized information. People don't buy nonfiction books by publisher. They buy them by interest, by recommendations from knowledgeable sources, or they can recognize the sound of expertise. Publishers can specialize too. That means that their editors know What the Foo about the subject, and will know if an author is talking rot, or providing information that isn't readily available elsewhere. It's always about the reader.

And wait one red-hot minute here. All the books Denny has been mentioning are sold under the same returns system that he just got done saying made profits impossible. If the returns system alone is the problem, you don't address it by running different content through it. The only way his examples can be profitable is if their sales patterns are significantly different from the example he gave at the beginning.

How do publishers actually make money? They know books and they know readers. They know them as well as they possibly can. That's why they can publish some very odd books by unknowns and still keep the lights on. This isn't just a game of chance, it's a game of skill.My first job was in book publishing-writing press releases and getting authors on radio and television-for the trade book division of Prentice-Hall. The year was 1960, during which 15,000 new titles were published. Today, 150,000 new titles are published every year, so you will quickly realize that all across the country, book warehouses have walls bulging and floors sagging with unsold books (a.k.a. future landfill).
What Hatch fails to mention is that book sales have gone up as the number of new titles have gone up. Books are no longer selling in 1960 quantities. The number of bookstores has increased by an order of magnitude. More people are buying more books than ever before.My first boss in the business, children's book publisher Franklin Watts, was a hard living, hard drinking ex-traveling book salesman who used to storm into the office every year on his birthday and announce loudly, "Do not wish me many happy returns! There is no such thing as a happy return!"
Mr. Watts was just making a publishing joke about "many happy returns." He wasn't formally denouncing the returns system, and it's absurd to read him as though he were.

PublishAmerica doesn't have any traveling book salesmen, hard living, hard drinking, or not.For a bookstore to stock just one copy of every new book published would require an additional 3-1/2 miles of shelving every year-and that is spine out.

For the full cover to be displayed would require 14 miles of shelving. Stacked on top of each other, these 150,000 books would be the equivalent of 14 Sears Towers. Bookstores have access to this avalanche of titles and they can be special ordered and delivered in as little as a day or two.
Ah ha! The origin of PublishAmerica Infocenter's infamous "15 feet of new bookshelf each and every day" meaningless statistic! Many books are published, and yet it's observable that books find space on shelves. Remember that in the example that Hatch himself gave at the start of his article, the net change in bookstore shelving required was zero, and five books were sold.

Bookstores don't try to stock one copy of every new book published. A good number of those books aren't meant for bookstore sales in the first place -- law books, book club editions, encyclopedias, textbooks, catalogs, reference books, etc.

For the rest of the titles, bookstore managers and chain store buyers choose how many of which ones they want to stock in their stores, then keep a close eye on which ones are selling. Chain buyers live and die by their weekly sales figures.

What you should remember is that taken as a whole, all trade books are intended for bookstore display. If you take the set of all trade books and all bookstores, most of them get that display. (And not just in dribs and drabs, one here, two there, if the author comes in and begs.)

Books with longer print runs have more copies on more bookstore shelves. Books with shorter print runs have fewer copies on fewer bookstore shelves. About the same percentage of each run is shelved.

Reality check: Hatch is saying that it's impossible to achieve what we can observe for ourselves is happening every day.

While titles come and titles go, bookshelves remain.In the immortal words of publishing guru Dan Poynter, "Bookstores are a lousy place to sell books."
And if, like Dan Poynter, you're self-published and self-promoting, it's probably true. Here perhaps we see the origin of Miranda Prather's astounding comment, "It's a common myth that bookstore placement equals sales."

Publishers distribute their books to bookstores because that's where they sell best.

Bookstore placement is great for sales -- really, the best starting point known. Lack of bookstore placement kills sales for commercial trade books, particularly novels.

If bookstores aren't a good place to sell books, name me another venue that will sell twenty thousand copies of your book in a year.Authors are a publisher's major asset. Without authors, the publishing industry would not exist.

So how do publishers treat aspiring authors?

Quite simply, we are treated like dirt.

The odds are that an unknown author sending in a query to a book publisher by mail or e-mail will get no response. Or a brush-off answer such as, "We do not accept unsolicited material" or "We only accept manuscripts from recognized agents."
Remember that "We do not accept unsolicited material" means "Send a query first," and "We only accept manuscripts from recognized agents" means "Get an agent." If you're hearing either of those lines, it means you didn't follow that publisher's guidelines.

Worth noting is that 80% of books sold to major publishers come through agents. The other 20% of the titles that major publishers print the authors sell on their own.

While we're at it, having a publisher tell you that they don't want to publish your book isn't the same thing as treating you like dirt.

Oh -- and authors aren't a publisher's major asset. Publishable manuscripts are.Those publishers that do encourage authors to send in manuscripts throw them into a "slush pile" where they sit for weeks or months until some supercilious twenty-something who could not write his or her way out of a paper bag gives it the once-over and sends a rejection slip. For example, my manuscript languished in the Wiley slush pile for over a month.

In fact, the idea that a writer's work is confined to a "slush pile"-as if all unpublished manuscripts were "slush"-is, to me, truly offensive. Another offensive term book publishers use to describe an marked-up manuscript proofs: "foul matter."
I'm sorry for his sensibilities. (Though I find it amusing that he described what he was doing from 1976 to the late '90s as "writing junk mail." Isn't the term "junk mail" offensive to direct mail advertisers?) All unpublished manuscripts aren't slush. Only unsolicited ones are.

But back, for a moment, to that "supercilious twenty-something who could not write his or her way out of a paper bag." Remember who your readers are. They'll include supercilious twenty-somethings who can't write their way out of paper bags, standing in front of a bookshelf at Barnes&Noble trying to decide on a book to read during their lunch hour. Feel fortunate if they give your book the "once over." Be respectful of your audience, my friend. They're paying your bills.

More on those first-pass slush readers: Regardless of their age, their sympathy, or their writing ability, they're sorting out the books that are obviously unsuitable (the epic poem submitted to the non-fiction house, the hard-core porn to the Christian inspirational publisher, the book by a schizophrenic who is unable to form complete sentences, etc.) and handing the remainder off to experienced editors.In short, traditional publishers are snotty and patronizing to authors unless your name is Ken Follet, or Tom Clancy.
I can just see the scene at the Naval Institute Press when the manuscript for Tom Clancy's first novel arrived: Editor One: "Ha ha! I have given this book, The Hunt for Red October, the once-over. Quick, fetch the snotty rejection slip!"

Editor Two: "Be respectful! That's Tom Clancy! Soon he will be a best seller!"Or over at Everest Books: Editor One: "Look at this book! The Big Needle by Simon Myles! A tawdry crime thriller. Doesn't he know that I am a supercilious twenty-something who can't write? Let me reject it in a patronizing manner, then brew up a cup of tea!"

Editor Two: "Be respectful! That's Ken Follett writing under a pseudonym!"
In sober fact, when new slush readers first come in contact with slush, after their eyes get back to normal size and they catch their breaths, they realize that they're much better writers than they thought they were.

Denny's argument isn't with publishing, it's with the English language. He doesn't like the word "slush"? My heart bleeds. He doesn't like the term "foul matter"? That's production-speak for pages with pencil marks on 'em; it has nothing to do with the quality of the words on those pages.

What he's doing is playing with word associations in an attempt to create a false impression. While he may not be ignorant of the real meanings of those words, he's betting that his readers are.

If you're taking the word "slush" as an affront, and failing to read the submission guidelines, and can't tell "we don't want to buy your book" from "we think you're dirt," perhaps you shouldn't be giving advice to new writers.

The overall impression that Mr. Hatch gives is that he thinks a publisher's editorial department doesn't exist. That there can't possibly be people who can judge a book's saleability, so it must be pure chance that Bloomsbury spotted both J. K. Rowling and Susannah Clarke.

Editors work, day in and day out, year after year, on books: Editing and packaging and selling thereof; and yet (according to Denny) they can't possibly calculate the probable sales of a new author's book.

Why are publishers forever wanting to know what other books this new book is like? It's not because they think all books should be alike. It's because there are sales figures on those other books. They want to be able to tell the printing plant to print 5,000 copies, or 50,000, or 500,000.

We move on to a section called "About Agents," where we learn that agents are horrible, except for his agent, who was a prince among people. (This is much like folks' attitudes toward lawyers: Lawyers are money-grubbing land sharks, except for their lawyer, who stands one notch below Superman in his defense of truth, justice, and the American way.)

What's wrong with agents according to Denny? They try to get their authors the best deals they can. Wooooo! And what's wrong with that?

According to Hatch again:...many a deal has been queered by an avaricious agent trying to hold a publisher up for a big advance. And my guess is that 90 percent of all books never earn out their advance.
A deal queered by an avaricious agent? No. Not unless the agent gets huffy and walks away. Otherwise, the agent asks for the sun, moon, and stars, the publisher replies with a small non-metallic asteroid, and after that it's all dickering.

The agents who queer "many a deal" don't stay in business too long. Minor quibble -- it isn't 90% of all books that never earn out their advances, it's 70%. This would seem bad enough, but you must understand that its entirely possible for a publisher to make a profit on a book that doesn't earn out. All that "Didn't earn out" means is that the publisher paid a higher-than-contracted-for royalty rate. If I can be allowed to make my own guess, the books that didn't earn out by twenty bucks far outnumber the ones that didn't earn out by twenty thousand. Best sellers cover a lot of shortfalls.

This, though, may well be the origin of PA's claim that most books don't pay royalties. It's because the separate royalty checks only come after the book earns out -- that is, earns royalties in excess of the advance already paid to the author. What you need to remember is that the advance itself is a royalty payment -- paid in advance. Publishers like to set the advance equal to what they think the author's final earnings will be. The higher the advance, the more they expect to sell. This should make you wonder exactly how many copies a publisher expects to sell if they set the advance at $1.00.

There's another reason Denny may be trying to poison new writers' minds against agents: Legitimate agents won't touch PublishAmerica.However, publishers and authors must beware of agents. They make money only when they sell something and get a commission. If an agent represents an author to a publisher, his aim is to get as fat an advance as possible-money paid up front against future royalties.
Yes, that's how it works. But a good agent isn't always going to aim for the biggest advance, period. There are lots of other considerations. An agent will try to get the best deal with a publisher who will publish the book well. That isn't always the highest advance.

Now on to page two (http://pricelineandthemedia.com/doc/aboutpa2.html).

Denny gives a pretty good description of offset. Then he immediately gets himself in trouble when he moves on to POD.

First off, what he's describing isn't Print On Demand -- it's digital printing technology. Keeping the terms equivalent is one of the basic requirements of comparisons.A radical new printing process has been devised whereby books can be printed economically one at a time on a giant photocopy machine that requires little or no set-up time.The word you need to watch out for there is "economically." Mr. Hatch wants you to think it means that digital printing technology can print books as or more economically than offset presses. They don't. The current generation of digital printing technology prints books more economically than last-generation digital printing technology, and it prints them more economically than an offset press would if you used it to print five copies. When you're printing books in any kind of quantity, offset printing only costs a fraction as much as digital printing technology.

Print on Demand has been around since the days of monks hand copying manuscripts. Digital printing is faster and more economical than those monks. Digital printing isn't faster and more economical for printing commercial quantities of commercial trade books than an offset press. By a weird coincidence your competition for trade books, the books that wind up in bookstores, is using offset presses.A great many forces are at work trying to stop this extraordinary development (e.g., book printers, binders, paper companies-all of whom stand to lose a lot of business if the book publishing industry goes to POD (Print On Demand). What is more, the book trade stands to be turned on its ear if POD is widely accepted.
This paragraph is ... deeply mistaken ... from start to finish. Papermakers don't care how ink gets transferred to paper. Their interest stops the moment the paper leaves the mill. Printers and binders aren't worried; they know they're in a different line of work and digital technology isn't their competition. If readers suddenly decided to buy books sight unseen and wait days or weeks to get them, that would certainly turn the book trade on its ear. There's no reason to believe that's going to happen.Yet in terms of inventory management, this is efficient. It saves money, saves trees, saves gasoline (books being transported to and from warehouses). Without question, this is the future of book publishing.
Without question? Doesn't take me two seconds to question it. Print on demand doesn't save any of those things; it probably costs more. It's a business model based on a technology that has no economies of scale. It was designed to do a few copies at a time. There's a real use for that. But digital print technology as we know it now is not going to supplant offset printing and a distribution system that sends millions of books to thousands of stores.

All the digital printing equipment in the country right now couldn't keep up with one week's demand for one current bestseller -- and there are a lot of bestsellers hitting the bookstores every week. There are a lot more books hitting the stores that aren't bestsellers, but will sell just fine and turn a small profit just the same. Digital printing technology is not the wave of the future. At the moment, it's like e-books: a small but interesting component of the future.As Dan Poynter says, "Print on Demand is not a way of printing; it's a way of doing business."
You don't need to quote Dan Poynter: You can quote me (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/publishing.htm). Print on Demand is a business model. You could conceivably Print On Demand with linoleum blocks. Digital printing is a technology.

Do traditional publishers use the Print on Demand business model? Depends on how you look at it, but ... if they figure a particular title will sell 5,000 copies, they'll tell their printers to run off 7,000. If they figure the title will sell 50,000 they'll tell their printers to print 70,000. If the publisher is wrong, and there's more demand, they'll tell the printer to run off more. (That's what the terms "second printing" and "back to press" mean.)

Do they use digital printing technology? Sure, when it's faster and cheaper than doing some job on an offset press. Otherwise, no. Remember that Print on Demand isn't the same thing as digital printing.Until recently, the entire publishing industry looked down its collective nose at authors who published their own works. Self-publishing was given the pejorative sobriquet of "vanity publishing."
What's this "until recently" thing? As of this morning the entire publishing industry (right the way down to individual bookstore owners and readers in the street) continues to look down its nose at vanity publishing.Never mind that Rogers & Hammerstein and the Gershwins used to produce their own musicals, that a many actors and directors formed their own production companies to create their own films, or that politicians spend quantities of their own money to get themselves elected.
And isn't that startlingly irrelevant? Shall we mention plumbers who are expected to bring their own tools to the job too?For some reason a vanity author was (and is) considered slime.No, not slime. Just a vanity author.Further, vanity publishers-who operated under the old offset printing model-tended to be terrible shysters. They would charge an author for the setup, for printing, for binding, and for storage-often with a 500-book minimum. A year later there might be 400 copies left in the warehouse, whereupon the publisher would write the author and say that unless the author wanted to buy these 400 copies, they would be turned into landfill. But the author had already bought and paid for the 400 copies! The publisher was going to charge double. Most authors did not know the difference, could not bear the thought of their work being trashed, and paid up.
So? No one has said that going with a vanity press was a good idea. (I note, in passing, that Mr. Hatch knows one vanity publisher very well: Before he founded PublishAmerica, Willem Meiners ran a straight-up vanity press, Erica House. Is Mr. Hatch describing Mr. Meiners' business practices?)

No one reads slush for fun. No one reads slush twice without getting paid to do it. Why not? Because most times those books suck. Even if vanity-printed books don't suck, the fact that they look like other sucky vanity books the reader has seen means the reader won't go near them.

Vanity presses cheat their authors, play with their ignorance, and prey on their dreams. Granted.However POD now has two meanings: (1) Print on Demand and (2) Publish on Demand. Print on Demand has been previously discussed. "Publish on Demand" means an author is paying to have a book published. POD (Print on Demand) is good; most traditional publishers are using it for back titles-printing as needed. POD (Publish on Demand) is held by many in the same low esteem that vanity publishing was years ago.
It looks like we've found the original source for this particular piece of PublishAmerica Infocenter twaddle. PublishAmerica is the only operation that uses these definitions and makes this distinction between Print on Demand and Publish on Demand.

Print On Demand and Publish On Demand are actually interchangeable terms. The only purpose for promulgating this nonexistent distinction is so that PublishAmerica can claim that whatever bad things you've heard about POD publishing operations apply only to the other kind of POD.

Now the article moves in for the kill: Enter Publish America

PublishAmerica is the brainchild of two disaffected entrepreneurs. One of the partners is Larry Clopper, a laid-back, bearded American who unsuccessfully tried to get two books published and became roundly disgusted with the publishing world. The second partner is an enormous, larger-than-life Dutchman named Willem Meiners who can speak with passion about books and publishing at one moment and can turn around and rip off a Bach fugue on a church organ or cocktail music on an old upright piano. Both Clopper and Meiners had a vision that they wanted to do something would enable unpublished authors to see their books in print.
Nothing that Denny's said about Willem and Larry is pertinent to their publishing expertise.

What we have here seems to be two guys who couldn't get their books published, so they founded their own vanity press. That's been a pretty common pattern since digital printing technology has lowered the startup cost.

The problem has never been that unpublished authors can't get their books into print. The problem is that some authors write books with insufficient appeal to the reading public for them to be economically viable. PublishAmerica can put those books in print. What it can't do, and doesn't try to do, is get them read.Founded in 1999, PublishAmerica takes no money from authors with the exception that we can buy from them our books at a discount.
And that's the real kicker, isn't it? That's one heck of an exception. Breezed over in that one line is the heart and soul of PublishAmerica's operation.

Authors love their own books and will tell everyone they know about them. They plus their friends and relations will, on average, buy around 75 copies of their book if there's no other way to get it. PublishAmerica knows that if they do a cheapjack job on production, use modern digital printing technology with its super-low setup costs, and price the books high enough (considerably higher than other comparable books printed on the same digital presses), they can make a profit off those 75 copies.

That's the beauty of it: No matter how good or how bad their books are, PA is bound to make money. The authors plus friends and relations are always going to buy enough copies for PA to make a tidy profit. Under those circumstances, it's not necessary for PublishAmerica to get reviews, bookstore distribution, and library placement -- and, in fact, they don't. They don't even try.

When the author buys his own books, the business model is pure vanity press. Old-style vanity presses needed the author to buy 500 copies to make their profit? PA's figured out how to make a profit on fifty.Otherwise, the principals are pathologically averse to taking cash from their authors-even to the point of refusing to sell or recommend publicity and promotion services-for fear of being labeled a Publish On Demand company.
Odd that Mr. Hatch should use the word "pathologically." But listing publicity and promotion services isn't what makes a press a vanity press. It's selling books primarily to their own authors that makes a press a vanity press. They refuse to offer or recommend publicity and promotion services because they don't care about sales. Sales are a bother and a distraction. They don't even care about being labeled a "Publish on Demand" company (a term they made up themselves). The thing they want to avoid being called is a vanity press, although that's what they are.

===========
Update: PublishAmerica currently links to publicity and promotion services from their web page.
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PublishAmerica has no aversion to taking cash from their authors. They put excessively high cover prices on their books -- effectively, a surcharge -- and wait for the authors to pay it. They routinely send mail to their authors urging them to buy their own books. That's where they get their income. It certainly doesn't come from retail book purchases.So when Publish America told me the book had been accepted, I went to the Website to see who they were and what they did. The featured book that day was 1001 Ways to Market Your Book by John Kremer. I knew Kremer to be a first rate book promotion guy and figured it PublishAmerica was okay for Kremer it was okay by me. I signed with PublishAmerica.
Mr. Hatch submitted a book to a publisher that he hadn't checked out? He only looked at their website after his book was accepted? Since PublishAmerica isn't listed in Writer's Market, how did he find PA if not from their web site?

Denny somehow failed to notice that John Kremer didn't publish with PublishAmerica. 1001 Ways to Market Your Book came out from Open Horizons. All that PublishAmerica had done was link to Kremer's book.

You wouldn't think a man who'd worked in junk mail all those years would make a mistake like that. For one thing, the business he was in doesn't attract naive do-gooders. For another, direct mail specialists are all about paying attention to the tiny fine details of their advertisements, because they can chart the effectiveness of one detail vs. another by tracking the response percentages of each variant of the same mailing. These are the guys who know exactly which shade of blue used to print the "signature" on a letter will bring in the most responses.

So, here we have a published author shopping for a new publisher, who uncritically buys into that publisher's misleading ad, and fails to notice that John Kremer, whom he professes to admire, is not published by them.

If he's being disingenuous he's dishonest, and you shouldn't take his advice. If he's being honest then he's not too bright, and you still shouldn't take his advice.The contract I signed: I receive a $1 good faith advance. Standard royalties. Split 50-50 extra rights (books clubs, mass-market paperback, film, TV, etc.). PublishAmerica arranges for the ISBN# (the standard book identification number registered with the Library of Congress) and gets it listed on Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com and all the other online book selling services.
The ISBN comes from Bowker. The copyright is registered (at the author's expense) with the Library of Congress.

What's *not* registered with the Library of Congress is the book's CIP (Cataloging-in-Publication) data. This is the coded information the Library of Congress assigns to other publishers' books, to be printed on their copyright pages for the use of librarians. It's extremely difficult to make any library sales without one. PA lies about this, but the reason they have no CIP data is that the Library of Congress won't issue it to books published by vanity presses. Not only will PA authors not see their books in bookstores; they won't see them in libraries, either. (Standard exception: Author goes in person, gets down on his knees, begs.)

PA's royalties aren't standard. Standard royalties are calculated on the book's cover price. PA calculates royalties on the book's net price. There's no way that Denny Hatch, a published author, wouldn't know that.

PA's 50-50 subrights split is illusory. Their books sell in negligible quantities, and they make no effort to market their subrights. There'll be no book club or mass-market editions. How often have you seen movies or TV shows based on a PublishAmerica book? They might as well write in subrights splits for sales to alien planets, or serialization on cupcake wrappers. Doesn't matter. They're not going to happen.

What do PA books really get? Same thing every other vanity press book gets: Listings at Amazon and BN.com, on the publisher's website, and on other online bookselling services. And when you're talking about an unedited unreviewed unheard-of book by an unknown author, sales from online stores are as close to nothing as you can get.The company will also send the author two finished copies of his book. And that is basically that. All books are first published as trade paperbacks. If the title has legs, it might get hardcover treatment. The contract promises that book orders will be fulfilled-either by them or by the central book printing and fulfillment company, Ingram. Books that are ordered can be delivered within a week. And, oh yes, PublishAmerica will not take returns.
And that basically is that. The word "published" slides in under its very minimum definition.

"If the title has legs"? I assume he's talking about the Independence Books imprint. As of this morning, PA has 7,674 books listed at Amazon. Of those, exactly six have those "legs." That's a terrible record. That's eight one-hundredths of one percent of all PublishAmerica books.

In the autumn after Denny wrote his article, Ingram, which is the largest book distributor in the country, stopped stocking POD books -- including PublishAmerica's. If success was desperately hard for PA's authors to achieve before, it was now something close to impossible. Months later, PA has still not acknowledged that Ingram's change of policy was a disaster for their authors.The author pays nothing to get published. However, the process of editing, copy editing and legal vetting (if necessary) are up to the author.
That doesn't sound too bad, unless you know how much a good edit costs. A very clean manuscript with no structural problems might get edited for a three-figure sum, but four figures is what most PA authors are going to be looking at -- unless they skip over all the editing, copyediting, proofreading, and other pre-press production work.

One interesting thing about Denny Hatch's remarks here is that on its website, PublishAmerica says it edits its authors' books, and you'll find a huge number of PublishAmerica authors who believe that their books will be, or have been, edited.

PA doesn't actually edit. Hatch is quite right in saying that if you want your PA title properly edited you'll have to pay extra to have someone do it; but that unhappy fact is not known to the general run of PA authors.In addition, publicity and promotion are up to the author, which sounds at first like a huge disadvantage compared to being published with a traditional publishing house.
That sounds like a huge disadvantage ... because it is.

The most an author can do in the way of publicity and promotion is less effective than the least you can expect a conventional publisher to do for your modest first novel. If a conventional publisher puts out a novel that sells 2,500 copies, everyone nods sympathetically, says well, it is a first novel after all, and prepares to do better with the author's second novel. If a PA title sold 2,500 copies, they'd declare a national day of rejoicing.

The other difference is that the author who's being published by the conventional house will spend the next year writing another book. The PA author will have spent it doing promotion, and is out of pocket for all the associated expenses.

For those PublishAmerica authors, the path is always a steep uphill climb. PA doesn't take returns. They don't offer the full standard bookseller's discount. The cover prices are higher than comparable books. The book's packaging -- its cover design, cover copy, all those little fine points that help a book insinuate itself into a reader's hands -- is perfunctory. And among people who know bookselling and publishing, the publisher's reputation is terrible. They know PA stands for "Publish Anything."

It would literally be easier for these authors to get bookstores to take their books if they'd had them run up by a local printer with no pretensions to being called a publisher.However, a publisher with 600 titles a year is able to give each title about half a day's worth of publicity. In actuality, each title gets much, much less, since the "big books" by the "star authors" (those in which the company has invested the most money) get the major attention by the publicity department. Any non-best-selling author gets back-of-the-hand, perfunctory treatment by publicity departments and had better figure on doing his or her own promotion or the book will die.
First, he's skewed the figures, the same trick he tried earlier with his example of returns. His numbers here only work if you assume the publisher only has one publicist. 600 titles in a year is a large publisher, not a small one. I find it hard to believe that a large publisher would only have one person doing publicity. At a real publisher about half the staff is in the publicity and marketing departments. Second, a good publicist handles multiple books every day -- writing a press release for one, sending out galleys for another, excerpting quotes for a third, setting up a signing for a fourth. The concept of a half-day of publicity per title is nonsensical. Nobody calculates publicity in those terms. Third, publishers put their resources where they'll do the most good. This doesn't usually include lavishing huge amounts of hype on a nice modest little first novel. However, it doesn't mean no effort is made to promote them. Every best-selling author once published a first novel. Describing the efforts made on behalf of such books as "back-of-the-hand perfunctory treatment" implies a degree of callousness publishers don't feel. Fourth, publicity is only one aspect of the book's promotion. A real publisher has a real catalog, and a real sales force to sell the books in it. No PA title ever gets that.

Remember, what the conventional publishing industry would consider a very modest sales record for a very modest book, PublishAmerica would regard as a complete miracle. And in their case, it would be.

Denny Hatch should know all this ... after all, his first job, he says, "was in book publishing-writing press releases and getting authors on radio and television-for the trade book division of Prentice-Hall." Therefore, I conclude, he's deliberately lying.A first hand example was the case of my third novel, The Stork which got no reviews. In desperation I surveyed the major reviewers across the country who replied that they had never heard of the book and had never received a copy for review. It turned out that on the day the publicity department was to work on my book, a new publicity director took over. In the transition, none of the labels were generated and sent to the warehouse. I was devastated. Two years of my life were shot.
No mailing labels were sent to the warehouse? As in, mailing finished copies out to reviewers? What happened to all the advance copies that should have gone out a month or two or three earlier? And why didn't the person responsible for generating the labels take care of it the next day, or the day after? This story does not add up.

But let's assume it was true. What it tells us is that there was a screwed-up situation that day at Morrow -- and that that wasn't normal. You don't have a publicity department screwup if you don't have a publicity department.

If true, it's an example of bad things happening to good books. And bad things do happen. But it's also an example of how your worst day at a major publisher will be better than your best day at PublishAmerica.

I bet that when Denny complained to Morrow about his book not getting sent out for review, that the answer that came back wasn't "don't take that tone with us," and a note than any future correspondence from him would be discarded unread. Furthermore, I'll bet that his book (a hardcover) was distributed to bookstores all over the country. I also notice that it went to mass market paperback a year later, and was optioned for film. And I'll make one more bet that the advance check was substantially more than one dollar.

I'd really like a look at the front and back covers of the Jove paperback edition. I'd be able to see whether there were any quotes from reviewers. Interesting question, eh?

But let's say his story is true. He assumed that review copies would be sent out in advance of publication. With real publishers, advance reading copies and review copies are expected. With PublishAmerica we know that won't happen.The result is that PublishAmerica is closing in on 5,000 titles in print and legion of proud, enthusiastic authors is running around the countryside busily promoting their books. Where traditional publishers have to sell 5,000, 10,000, and sometimes 15,000 of a title before they break even, PublishAmerica needs sales that are a tiny fraction of that amount.
Not to be confused with the legion of bitterly disappointed authors running around the countryside complaining to the legal authorities, the press, and anyone else who will listen about the shabby treatment they got from PublishAmerica, the false advertising, the broken promises, and the verbal abuse. The only true part is where he says PublishAmerica only needs sales that are a tiny fraction of conventional publishers' sales. They do indeed. That's why their authors are running all over the countryside trying to sell books, while PA sits on its collective arse and does nothing to help them.Instead of making authors feel like dirt, PublishAmerica is in the business of making authors feel good about themselves, their work and their value on this planet.
This is assuming that publishers make authors feel like dirt. If so, you have to wonder why so many people want to be authors, and why they occasionally dedicate their books to their publishers and editors.

But does PublishAmerica make their authors feel good? The answer is, it does. Some of them it makes rapturously happy. This lasts right up until the point when the book comes out. Then they discover that bookstores won't stock it, self-promotion won't sell it, reviewers won't touch it, and that all PA will do is sneer at them for not reading their (extremely deceptive) contract closely enough, and for thinking that anyone was going to want to buy their book in the first place.

PA's most fervent supporters are their authors. Their most fervent detractors are also their authors. The divide between the two is clear cut: the detractors' books have been out for a while.

PublishAmerica shouldn't be in the business of making authors feel good about themselves. They should be in the business of selling books to the public. As far as making authors feel like dirt, shall I quote one of the typical boilerplate letters PA's "Author Support Team" routinely sends to authors who question any aspect of PublishAmerica's business model? Dear XXX:

Do not address us in such a tone. Your facts are wrong, your accusations are wrong, and your insinuations are wrong. Worst of all, and most unusual of all, you call our integrity into question.

The content of your statements is so unusual, so far from reality, and so very bizarre, that we will not stoop to even respond to them. The word libelous would be appropriate. Suffice it to say, that everything you say is simply, factually, wrong, and is easily proven to be so. Whomever gave you this misinformation is very pathetically misinformed.

Your request is denied, and we will expect your apology.

Thank you,
Author Support Team
support@publishamerica.com
Oh, yes. And unlike traditional book publishers, whose publicity departments schedule book signings and then forget to have books at the venue, all the books were there for us to sign.
Sound of hollow laughter. If PA couldn't get the books in place for a signing where the company's owners were in attendance, well, that would be beyond lame.

Actually, in the world of legitimate publishing, one of the biggest causes of signings where there are no books to sign is authors who are doing their own publicity. Manufacturing and shipping the quantities of books America's bookstores require is an industrial process. Inexperienced authors will schedule signings the day the book is scheduled to be released, not realizing that though there are now some copies, there aren't yet cartons and cartons available, or if there are, they may still be in transit.

This is a different problem from that experienced by PA authors who set up signings. In their case, the company takes the order for the signing copies, has the author pay for them (including shipping) in advance, promises they'll arrive in time for the event, then blows it off. The books may arrive weeks later. This has happened repeatedly.The one hang-up to vast distribution of PublishAmerica titles is the no-returns policy.

There are two other hang-ups: Very high cover prices and short discounts.
But the royalty statement from my last book from a traditional publisher stated sales of 2,400 copies and returns of 3,000. Not pretty.
Only 5,400 shipped, 3,000 of them were returned, and none of those went back out on reorders? That's painful.

When those low orders came in, the publisher didn't cancel its announced pubdate and try to re-sell it in a later season, so they clearly understood it to be a small book. What one has to understand, then, is that having no returns system wouldn't mean those 3,000 copies would have gone out and stayed out. It means the book would never have been published in the first place. Who's going to eat the cost of those extra copies? The bookstores? No way. They have to stay in business. And it's no use saying that in a different system those 3,000 copies would never have been printed, because there's a big per-unit cost difference between printing 2,500 copies and printing 5,000 copies. If the publisher had only printed 2,500 copies, they'd have been obliged to charge more for the book, and it would have sold even worse than it did.

Somewhere along the line, somebody has to take a chance. Taking returns means the publisher is the one making the bet. And that's only right, because he's the one who picked the book out, and packaged it, and did the advance sales work on it. So now he's out there saying "I'll bet you'll love this book. I bet it'll sell. I'll bet your customers will come back to see if there are any more like this one. I bet it'll do better for you than whatever book would otherwise occupy that piece of real estate. And what will I bet? The author's advance. The editor's salary. Production, art, sales, marketing, publicity, printing, shipping, and all the associated distribution costs. And if I'm wrong, you can send it back free of charge."

Every book is a risk to somebody. If a publisher refuses to take returns, the risk has to land somewhere else. But on whom? Not the bookstores. If you think you can't get published now, try getting published in a system where every book that comes into a shop is a potential loss for the owner. "Proven sellers" doesn't begin to cover it. Alternately, the risk could be displaced to the authors. That's where PA offloads it. That's what vanity publishing is all about.

I shake my head when I hear PA authors rhapsodizing about how PublishAmerica has "taken a chance" on them. That's exactly what PA hasn't done. Their model has PA making money no matter how badly your book tanks. They don't have to choose which books to publish; the only customers they count on are the people who'd buy a copy of that title if half its pages were upside-down. They take no risks at all.

PublishAmerica has a particularly slick line of marketing patter, selling their services to aspiring authors. Denny Hatch is a professional marketer. He knows Willem and Larry personally, and went on a junket to Iceland with them. I wonder if we've just met the guy behind the infamous "Facts and Figures" page, the "Partnership with the New York Times" letter, and all the rest of PublishAmerica's marketing efforts.
__________________
The Confessions of Peter Crossman (http://www.lulu.com/content/219003)

________________________________________
March 10, 2005 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=125&pp=25)

Well!
That was a little heavy.

Here's your reward for fighting your way through it:

Everything you wanted to know about writing erotica (http://www.darkerotica.net/EroticQuills.html).

(Remember, kiddies, Sex Sells!)
__________________

Not only are more people buying more books than ever before, but they're reading them later in life.

A part of that, I think, is that it's now socially acceptable to wear corrective lenses in public. (Speaking of movies, you know those movies from the forties and fifties -- "Miss Smithers! Without your glasses you're ... beautiful!") That was the social situation where wearing glasses was, all by itself, enough of a disguise for Clark Kent. Real men didn't wear glasses.

Now not only isn't there a social stigma on glasses, there are really good contact lenses, and laser surgery.

Booksales are going up every year.

Now this is both good and bad. Call it the Mustard Problem.

Used to be if you went to the store for mustard, you had French's yellow mustard and, if you had a big store in a big city, Gulden's brown mustard.

They sold a lot of mustard, Gulden's and French's, between the two of them.

Now ... you go into a grocery store and there's four shelves of mustards. You have your Gulden's and your French's still, and you have your Grey Poupon, and you have your State of Maine Sea Salt Mustard, and your Beer Mustard, and your Whole Seed Garlic Mustard, and your Creamy Dill Mustard ... and a lot more mustards beside.

More people are buying more mustard ... but no individual mustard is selling particularly well. The whole pie is divided by more slices.

Used to be you came out with a paperback original and if it sold less thanl 100,000 copies you'd wonder what was wrong. Nowadays, you come out with the same paperback original and if it sells 20,000 copies you're happy.

Royalty rates are still about the same, but the royalties are on a $8.00 paperback rather than on a $0.35 paperback, so the money is about the same overall. But in 1960 you could buy a house for $20,000, and now you can't. Bigger pie, smaller slices. Same problem as the mustard makers have.

This is a good thing for the readers, though, just like more choices are good for mustard users.

More different books published means more chances for quirky, original works to get published and distributed. This is a good thing.

And this is all oversimplified, but that's another picture of writing.
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Trade books (hardcovers and trade paperbacks) are whole-copy returnable.

Mass market books are the ones that are stripped and discarded, and that's a byproduct of hitching book distribution onto the existing distribution mechanism for newspapers and magazines.

You don't return yesterday's newspapers and last week's TV Guide to the warehouse and try to sell them to some other news stand -- they're stripped, the cover (or masthead) sent back for credit on the next shipment, and the rest tossed in a dumpster. If you're going to use the distribution system, you take the bad with the good. It's cheaper and faster (and less wasteful in terms of trucks and fuel) than building a whole 'nother distribution system to reach grocery stores, bus stations, and news stands.

Stripping and discarding paperbacks may seem wasteful, but...

a) Paper comes from pulpwood, and pulpwood is a cash crop. It's planted, tended, and harvested to make paper. "Use less paper! Save the trees!" makes as much sense as "Eat less bread! Save the wheat!"

b) It's quite literally cheaper to throw out the copy of a mass market paperback and print a new one than it would be to return it, inspect it, and repack it in a warehouse if it's still in saleable condition. Think Economy of Scale. Publishers could throw out half of a printrun and still make a profit. Prices are set for it, the entire system is geared toward it.

c) Paper is biodegradable and recycleable.

Think of mass market books as weird-looking issues of Newsweek, and you'll get the idea.
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Yeah, I read the Rats essay a while ago.

Nothing's perfect, and bad things happen to good books, but the slushpiles aren't full of unrecognized gems.
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Welcome, Matt.

==================

Let me expand on my earlier comment about the slushpiles not being full of unrecognized gems.

We've all heard of publishable manuscripts, including famous best-selling ones, bouncing through a dozen slushpiles before finding a home.

True, it happens.

But isn't that a contradiction to my statement about the slushpiles not being full of unrecognized gems? What about the slushpiles they were in?

Well -- first there's the "full" thing. In a pile a hundred manuscripts deep only ten or so will be readable, and only one or two will be publishable. What the slushheap is "full" of is things only generally recognizable as English.

But take those one or two. They're publishable. But are they publishable here? The publisher only has so many slots a year. If they publish twenty books a year, and the slush pile is 4,000 manuscripts deep ... forty to eighty of those manuscripts are publishable, but twenty to sixty (wonderful, potentially award-winning and best-selling as they may be) will get rejection slips. Or more -- those twenty books the publisher can afford will include books by established authors contracted years before, the latest episode in a series, the novel that the editor solicited, and so forth and so on.

Or the book may be wonderful, but just two days before they bought a slightly inferior but very similar book from someone else. Or it may not quite fit their line. Or they might love it but not know how to market it.

When you're close, that's when you start seeing those hopeful little notes, like "Please send us your next," or handwritten "I loved this book, but alas! I can't buy it. I'm sure you'll soon find a home for this wonderful story."

When you're in the top one or two percent, the game changes.

All those horrible books you see on the shelves -- those were the best books that publisher could find. You should have seen the others.

Don't lose faith. Just write another book, and keep sending them around. And learn. Study the craft. Write new things, better things, different things.
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Originally Posted by aplath
I mean, that should give a better idea of the odds of getting published than the rate between books that actually get published against the whole slush pile.

Looking at it as "odds" gives you a distorted worldview.

If you've written a good book the odds are good that it'll eventually get published. If you've written a bad one, the odds are terrible.

But ... the usual guess is that 1-2% of the slushpile is publishable.

So of those 4,000 books in the slush heap of the publisher that puts out 20 books/year, 40-80 are publishable.

But... they don't only print books by first timers from the slush pile. Perhaps there are only five slots out of those twenty that aren't already spoken for. 6.25-12.5% of the good, publishable, maybe award caliber books in the slush heap will get picked up by that house that year. But maybe there's only one truly open slot. Maybe there are none. Or maybe there are ten. There are too many variables to make any sort of determination.

There are many slush piles.

Editors don't buy books they don't like to keep up their percentages if enough ones they do like fail to arrive in the mail that month. __________________

It's a balancing act.

If you really, really need to get a fact across, the rule is you slide it in three times. You're trying to get things across so the deaf old lady in the back row can still follow the story, at the same time keeping from boring the clever buggers in the front row.

On the other hand, the examples you gave sound a lot like padding.
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The Best of HapiSofi
The Best of HapiSofi:

This is a repost from upthread, with the links to posts on the Old Board. One of these days I'll find where these posts went on the new board. For right now, these posts contain some Good Writing and Good Advice.

Lee Shore Literary Agency (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessage?topicID=301.topic)

Need Advice (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessage?topicID=310.topic)

Agents Charging Fees (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessageRange?topicID=222.t opic&start=28&stop=28)

Sex Scenes (...How?) (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm31.showMessage?topicID=205.topic) Sex Scenes, version II (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.to pic&start=623&stop=623)

Typesetting (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.to pic&start=788&stop=788)

1st Books was OK (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessageRange?topicID=28.to pic&start=82&stop=82)

Prologues (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.to pic&start=243&stop=243)

Midbooks (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.to pic&start=546&stop=546)

Tone (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=257.to pic&start=165&stop=165)

PA Authors (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessageRange?topicID=209.t opic&start=361&stop=380)

ST Comments I Love It! (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessageRange?topicID=210.t opic&start=61&stop=65)

All PublishAmerica Titles are in the Library of Congress (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm11.showMessageRange?topicID=190.t opic&start=141&stop=160)

Decent Typesetting (http://p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm3.showMessageRange?topicID=267.to pic&start=1&stop=20)
__________________

Here's the best I can do for Decent Typesetting archived over here:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums...php/t-7121.html (archive/index.php/t-7121.html)

_________________________

March 13, 2005 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=126&pp=25)

Originally Posted by paritoshuttam
In general, is it a good idea to query the same agent again, after some time? Around two years back, one agent did show interest in my work, saying she liked the premise of the novel, but my prose wasn't dazzling enough.
No problem returning to that agent with a significantly revised manuscript.
__________________

Originally Posted by JohnLynch
Is this virtually an invitation to resubmit the work after reworking it?

Either that, or submit your next.

The thing you have to decide is whether you like your work as it currently stands. If you like it, there's no reason to re-write it for the chance that the agent or editor will like it better next time around.

If you can make it better in your own eyes, and you'll make substantial changes doing so ... then you might re-write (rather than keep sending the first work to other people, while at the same time creating something new.)

The Bad Books that can be made into Good Books by editing alone are rare. __________________

Okay, Uncle Jim---I have a question.

Is it easier to sell a first novel than a collection of short stories? Or is either one dependent on the writer's rep and pedigree?
These are short stories that have already been published in respectable-to-prestigious venues?

If not, then the first novel would probably be the easier to sell.
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Is there a way to find out where a vanished publisher has gone? If they were purchased by another house, would there be some media site that lists it? Specifically, I'm talking about a small regional non-fiction press.
Dunno. Publishers Weekly might have mentioned it if they were bought by another press, but more small and regional presses go out of business every year than you can shake a stick at. You know how there are supposed to be 56,000 publishers, or 78,000 publishers, or whatever? There are actually around 20,000. The rest are on long-term hiatus. I'm sure you've heard that 8,000-11,000 new publishers are founded every year. Less well known it that 8,000-11,000 go toes-up every year. (And that, my children, is why it's important to deal with publishers that have been in business for some years, and who have books in bookstores.)

The Association of American Publishers or Publishers Marketing Association might know what happened to your publisher, if the guys you're looking for were ever members.
__________________
Philosophy
Writing isn't about you, and it isn't about the publishers, and it isn't about the bookstores.

Writing is about the readers.

The readers

a) Want/need to be informed.
b) Want/need to be entertained.

If you aren't fulfilling the readers wants and needs, dude, you ain't got diddly.
__________________
From Elsewhere
From else (showpost.php?p=123293&postcount=11428)where (showpost.php?p=123351&postcount=11434) in these boards:

Originally Posted by ByGrace
Say Bantam publishes a romance novel by Lovey Dovey. It's placed in bookstores across the US. Some don't sell. The covers are ripped off. (I don't understand that.) Then the books are sent back to who? Ingram or Bantam? I doubt it would be Bantam.

A better person to ask would be Hapi -- but Hapi hasn't been back much since we changed to the new board.

Anyway, this is how it works....

First, the ones that have their covers ripped off are the mass market paperbacks. The reason they have their covers ripped off is to prove that they didn't sell. This is because, for the purposes of distribution, mass market paperbacks are specialized magazines. Mass market piggybacks on the distribution system developed to get newspapers and magazines into bus stations and drugstores. You wouldn't send back last week's TV Guide (and expect to sell it somewhere else). The system of ripping off magazines' covers and newspapers' mastheads extends to the paperbacks.

Often times the books that have been on wire-rack spinners aren't in salable condition anyway, even if they are returned. And it is quite literally true that it's cheaper to print a new copy than it is to ship an old copy back, inspect it to see if it's still salable, and restock it into a warehouse somewhere.

The covers are torn off, and the physical books go into the Dumpster out back. (Sometimes, in major cities, you'll see guys on the sidewalks selling paperbacks arranged on blankets, all face-down. They're selling them for a quarter a copy or something -- current best sellers even. If you look at those books, they all have their covers torn off. Those are from someone Dumpster diving, looking for money for wine.

That's mass market. Those are the books you see in grocery stores in the wire-rack spinners. (You will, of course, also see them in bookstores -- but this system was developed when bookstores were still rare.)

Oftentimes these days, the merchant doesn't even physically send back the ripped-off covers. They just sign an affidavit swearing the books were destroyed.

Next come the trade books. Those are the trade paperbacks and the trace cloth (hardback) books. (They're called "trade" because they're designed for the "book trade" rather than the "mass market.")

Those are whole-copy returnable. The trade paperbacks are sturdier than the mass market books. They are, in effect, cheaply bound trade cloth.

Those books, when they don't sell, are put in boxes and sent back to the warehouse they came from. Which is either the publisher's warehouse or the distributor's warehouse. The printer isn't involved. The distributor or the publisher then uses those same books to fill other orders.

(Note: "Trade" paperbacks aren't determined by size or price. There exist "rack size trade paperbacks" which are visually identical to mass market paperbacks. The difference between trade and mass market is what happens to the copies that don't sell.)

And where is the money in all this? Except for the money that comes in at the cash register from sold books, there isn't any. All the returns and stripped books become credit for the bookstore's next order. In effect, a returned book magically becomes a different physcial book, a book that might sell where this one didn't.

Please notice that readers, and what they pick up and pay money for, drive this system.

============

Originally Posted by ByGrace
Isn't it just a matter that the publisher would not get payment for unsold copies, and that Ingram or Lightning Source would take the loss on printing the book?

I missed this part of the question.

The distributor and the printer both get paid, by the publisher. Neither take a loss on an unsold book. The only people who are taking a risk are the publishers. Bookstores aren't taking a risk -- the books are returnable. Printers aren't taking a risk -- publishers pay them directly. Distributors aren't taking a risk -- publishers give them a percentage of the price of the book for each copy that moves through them. The authors aren't taking a risk -- they're paid in advance.

And that's the way it should be. Publishers take the risk because they selected the book, they edited it, they produced it, they marketed it. And the readers, seeing that book on the shelf know that the publisher is standing behind it. That somewhere there's an editor who's saying "I'm betting the company's money that you'll enjoy this book. If I'm wrong, I'll get fired."

Readers don't get that feeling with vanity books. There, they hear the author saying "My mom thinks this book is swell. Even if it sucks, she's still my mom."

==============

You keep hearing self-published authors tell one another that they have to believe in their books: That'll make the readers believe in their books too.

But where is the author who doesn't believe in his own book? The reader is looking for something that will tell him that someone else besides the author believes in this book.

When a reader enters a bookstore, he's the most selfish guy in the world. He isn't thinking "Today I'll give a new author a chance!" -- he's thinking "What would I enjoy?" It's all about the reader. The reader's motto might as well be, "Yeah, but what's in it for me?"

==============

A minor gripe:

Guys: "Sale" is a noun. "Sell" is a verb.

You don't say "I'm going to sale my books." You don't say "How many sells did you get?"

Nouns. Verbs. This is basic English. If you're shaky on grammar your local bookstore is full of review and study workbooks.
__________________

A while back I talked about fanfiction.net, and about fanfiction in general, as representative of the slush pile.

Other on-line fiction archives are worse -- because when a writer gets good enough to be professionally published, generally they are. The cream gets skimmed off.

But in fan fiction (and to some extent in erotica), the stories can have no legal existence. No matter how well written, they can't be published. They use trademarked/copyrighted characters without permission.

Here are two that would be publishable, if not for the legal problems:

Harry Potter and the Horrid Pain of the Artiste (http://www.geocities.com/school_idiot/hp.htm)
Agent Scully and the Dirty Story (http://prillalar.com/fic/stories/000026.php)

Notice too, these are both meta-fictions about writing. Ironic self-awareness. Y'know.

Take away such lessons as you can.
__________________

I do have to comment that many people besides me have excellent things to say, and the entire context is good to have.
__________________

Originally Posted by Roger J Carlson
Why don't the publishing houses maintain a POD facility for their back-list or out-of-print books?

Many regular publishing houses already use digital printing technology for their backlist titles.

For out of print books they can't -- because the rights have usually reverted to the author.
__________________

March 18, 2005 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=127&pp=25)

As amusing as the world of non-fiction may be for the writers, this is the novels board.
__________________

All of my comments here, unless explicitly marked as being about something else, should be assumed to be about novels.

-------------

So now I'll move on to an area away from novels.

Y'all know the movie The Incredibles? You know the character "Elastigirl"? She's called Elastigirl in the film -- but in the advertising, in the games, in the Happy Meals, in everywhere other than the film, she's referred to as "Mrs. Incredible."

-------------

Back to books.

Is there any fan fiction based on my own works? I don't know. I have quite deliberately never looked.
__________________

Originally Posted by alaskamatt17
But I have heard of at least one published author who got her start writing fan fiction. I can't remember her name, but I read about her back when TopDeck magazine was still in print. She started writing original fiction after an editor who liked her fan fiction contacted her. That really sounds amazing to me. It must've been some good fan fiction to get an editor to actually contact her.

That sounds entirely possible. Writing is writing, and good is good. And it's also true that some editors read fanfic (as their secret vice).

Way back upstream, I even said that there was nothing wrong with writing fanfic as a way of practicing your skills. The only problem comes when you publish it.

So I wouldn't recommend writing and publishing fanfic as a way to attract an editor's attention.
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Line By Line
Let's dip back to page 105 (showthread.php?t=6710&page=105&pp=25) of this thread:

He shouldn’t have taken the shortcut.

Bahzell Bahnakson realized that the instant he heard the sounds drifting down the inky-dark cross corridor. He’d had to keep to the back ways used only by the palace servants—and far more numerous slaves—if he wanted to visit Brandark without the Guard’s knowledge, for he was too visible to come and go openly without being seen. But he shouldn’t have risked the shortcut just to avoid the more treacherous passages of the old keep.

He stood in an ill-lit hall heavy with the stink of its sparse torches (the expensive oil lamps were saved for Churnazh and his “courtiers”), and his mobile, foxlike ears strained at the faint noises. Then they flattened in recognition, and he cursed. Such sounds were none of his business, he told himself, and keeping clear of trouble was. Besides, they were far from the first screams he’d heard in Navahk . . . and there’d been nothing a prince of rival Hurgrum could do about the others, either.

He squeezed his dagger hilt, and his jaw clenched with the anger he dared not show his “hosts.” Bahzell had never considered himself squeamish, even for a hradani, but that was before his father sent him here as an envoy. As a hostage, really, Bahzell admitted grimly. Prince Bahnak’s army had crushed Navahk and its allies, yet Hurgrum was only a single city-state. She lacked the manpower to occupy her enemies’ territories, though many a hradani chieftain would have let his own realm go to ruin by trying to add the others to it.

But Bahnak was no ordinary chieftain. He knew there could be no lasting peace while Churnazh lived, yet he was wise enough to know what would happen if he dispersed his strength in piecemeal garrisons, each too weak to stand alone. He could defeat Navahk and its allies in battle; to conquer them he needed time to bind the allies his present victories had attracted to him, and he’d bought that time by tying Churnazh and his cronies up in a tangle of treaty promises, mutual defense clauses, and contingencies a Purple Lord would have been hard put to unra-vel. Half a dozen mutually suspicious hradani warlords found the task all but impossible, and to make certain they kept trying rather than resorting to more direct (and traditional) means of resolution, Bahnak had insisted on an exchange of hostages. It was simply Bahzell’s ill fortune that Navahk, as the most powerful of Hurgrum’s opponents, was entitled to a hostage from Hurgrum’s royal family.

Bahzell understood, but he wished, just this once, that he could have avoided the consequences of being Bahnak’s son. Bad enough that he was a Horse Stealer, towering head and shoulders above the tallest of the Bloody Sword tribes and instantly identifiable as an outsider. Worse that Hurgrum’s crushing victories had humiliated Navahk, which made him an instantly hated outsider. Yet both of those things were only to be expected, and Bahzell could have lived with them, if only Navahk weren’t ruled by Prince Churnazh, who not only hated Prince Bahnak (and his son), but despised them as degenerate, over-civilized weaklings, as well. His cronies and hangers-on aped their prince’s attitude and, predictably, each vied with the other to prove his contempt was deeper than any of his fellows’.

So far, Bahzell’s hostage status had kept daggers out of his back and his own sword sheathed, but no hradani was truly suited to the role of diplomat, and Bahzell had come to suspect he was even less suited than most. It might have been different somewhere else, but holding himself in check when Bloody Swords tossed out insults that would have cost a fellow Horse Stealer blood had worn his temper thin. He wondered, sometimes, if Churnazh secretly wanted him to lose control, wanted to drive Bahzell into succumbing to the Rage in order to free himself from the humiliating treaties? Or was it possible Churnazh truly believed his sneer that the Rage had gone out of Hurgrum, leaving her warriors gutless as water? It was hard to be sure of anything where the Navahkan was concerned, but two things were certain as death. He hated and despised Prince Bahnak, and his contempt for the changes Bahnak had wrought in Hurgrum was boundless.

====================

Okay, guys, everyone read that excerpt? Let's take it apart.

He shouldn’t have taken the shortcut.

Places a male in a situation, with a hint of a problem.

Bahzell Bahnakson realized that the instant he heard the sounds drifting down the inky-dark cross corridor.

Not an English name. Good thing we know (from the first paragraph) that this is a male. We have sounds, bringing in another sense, and more setting -- the shortcut has dark cross corridors. We're probably in a fantasy novel. Bet his dad's name is Bahnak.

He’d had to keep to the back ways used only by the palace servants—and far more numerous slaves—if he wanted to visit Brandark without the Guard’s knowledge, for he was too visible to come and go openly without being seen.

Okay, we're in a palace, in the back ways. There are servants here. Brandark is either a person or a place (unclear), and the Guard is a problem. Probably using too many words that begin with B as proper nouns, and "he was too visible to come and go openly without being seen" wins a "Well, duh!" award. Gives motivation for our guy to be in that shortcut, presumably a passageway in the palace.

But he shouldn’t have risked the shortcut just to avoid the more treacherous passages of the old keep.

This reinforces that we're in a shortcut, and that if we're not in the old keep itself, the old keep is probably nearby and another possible route. But if the passages of the old keep are more treacherous, isn't avoiding them the right choice?

He stood in an ill-lit hall heavy with the stink of its sparse torches (the expensive oil lamps were saved for Churnazh and his “courtiers”), and his mobile, foxlike ears strained at the faint noises.

Bringing in yet another sense (smell, this time), and a bit of personal description. Whether the ears being fox-like is literal or metaphorical we can't tell. Another character is mentioned (Churnazh) and identified as to gender. "Courtiers" in quotes implies that they aren't really courtiers. A level of tech is implied -- oil lamps and torches for light -- and a bit about the economy (expensive oil lamps).

Then they flattened in recognition, and he cursed.

Okay, the ears are literally fox-like. Human ears don't flatten in recognition. "He cursed" gets around the problem of actually saying #$#%! in a book.

Such sounds were none of his business, he told himself, and keeping clear of trouble was.

Okay, the sounds aren't the sounds of pursuit. But we're given a hint that he'll be moved from his original plans. No one tells himself that something isn't any of his business unless it actually is.
Besides, they were far from the first screams he’d heard in Navahk . . . and there’d been nothing a prince of rival Hurgrum could do about the others, either.

We're told what the sounds are. And where we are. And who our boy is -- a prince of rival Hurgrum. A bit of politics and hints of another problem.

He squeezed his dagger hilt, and his jaw clenched with the anger he dared not show his “hosts.”

Quote marks mean they're not really hosts. A bit about what weapons are expected (and given the other tech levels, and the genre, not unexpected).

Bahzell had never considered himself squeamish, even for a hradani, but that was before his father sent him here as an envoy.

Are hradani well known for lack of squeamishness? A hint of nameless perversion here -- sort of like saying that something makes an experienced homicide detective feel ill.
As a hostage, really, Bahzell admitted grimly.

Our boy's status, and how he feels about it. The "grimly" is a bit of countersinking.

Prince Bahnak’s army had crushed Navahk and its allies, yet Hurgrum was only a single city-state.

"Prince Bahnak is likely our boy Bahzell's dad. Navahk is likely a country -- but this is pretty unclear. Hurgrum is identified as "a single city-state." That tells us the political geography a bit better. City-states, ruled by princes.

She lacked the manpower to occupy her enemies’ territories, though many a hradani chieftain would have let his own realm go to ruin by trying to add the others to it.

City-states get gendered pronouns. This sentence is also pretty incoherent. The hradani apparently have chieftains. It looks like the hradani are fox-people.

But Bahnak was no ordinary chieftain.

He's apparently a Prince. And it appears that he won't let his own realm go to ruin. All this is talking about our protagonist's father, while he's pausing in a darkened corridor, listening to screams. I'm not certain this is the right place for core-dump exposition.

He knew there could be no lasting peace while Churnazh lived, yet he was wise enough to know what would happen if he dispersed his strength in piecemeal garrisons, each too weak to stand alone.

Churnazh is the rival prince from another city-state. The guy with the "courtiers."

He could defeat Navahk and its allies in battle; to conquer them he needed time to bind the allies his present victories had attracted to him, and he’d bought that time by tying Churnazh and his cronies up in a tangle of treaty promises, mutual defense clauses, and contingencies a Purple Lord would have been hard put to unravel.

What exactly a Purple Lord might be isn't clear, other than that they're apparently experts in paperwork. A distinction is made between winning a battle and conquest. Churnazh is the bad guy -- only bad guys have cronies. Bahnak is a good guy -- good guys have allies.

Half a dozen mutually suspicious hradani warlords found the task all but impossible, and to make certain they kept trying rather than resorting to more direct (and traditional) means of resolution, Bahnak had insisted on an exchange of hostages.

Back to why our hero is here. That was certainly the long way around the barn.

It was simply Bahzell’s ill fortune that Navahk, as the most powerful of Hurgrum’s opponents, was entitled to a hostage from Hurgrum’s royal family.

I'm confused. Apparently we've just been told that Churnazh is the Prince of Navahk and that Bahzell, son of the Prince of Hurgrum, is Churnazh's hostage during a pause in hostilities. Throwing an awful lot of names in the air here.

Bahzell understood, but he wished, just this once, that he could have avoided the consequences of being Bahnak’s son.

Just this once? He's Bahnak's son. I get it. I'm not certain that this entire expository lump couldn't have been deleted without leaving a hole.

Bad enough that he was a Horse Stealer, towering head and shoulders above the tallest of the Bloody Sword tribes and instantly identifiable as an outsider.

Horse Stealer appears to be a tribal name, rather than a job description. We have varying sub-races in these fox-people. We have a bit of description of our hero.

Worse that Hurgrum’s crushing victories had humiliated Navahk, which made him an instantly hated outsider.

So, he's a hostage, and the locals don't like him. But ... what's this with victories? I thought we were between battles, and we have an exchange of hostages ... this isn't making much sense.

Yet both of those things were only to be expected, and Bahzell could have lived with them, if only Navahk weren’t ruled by Prince Churnazh, who not only hated Prince Bahnak (and his son), but despised them as degenerate, over-civilized weaklings, as well.

Exposition.
His cronies and hangers-on aped their prince’s attitude and, predictably, each vied with the other to prove his contempt was deeper than any of his fellows’.

Cronies ... hangers-on ... aped. Slanted words. Those are some bad bad guys. Any chance Churnazh is just misunderstood?

So far, Bahzell’s hostage status had kept daggers out of his back and his own sword sheathed, but no hradani was truly suited to the role of diplomat, and Bahzell had come to suspect he was even less suited than most.

Are Hradani a social class, a race, or a political unit? Taller, less squeamish, and less suited to diplomatic service than others of his kind.
It might have been different somewhere else, but holding himself in check when Bloody Swords tossed out insults that would have cost a fellow Horse Stealer blood had worn his temper thin.

We have a couple of tribes, apparently.

He wondered, sometimes, if Churnazh secretly wanted him to lose control, wanted to drive Bahzell into succumbing to the Rage in order to free himself from the humiliating treaties?

The Rage? A new term. And we fall into the unfortunate fantasy novel Curse of Promiscuous Capitalization.

Or was it possible Churnazh truly believed his sneer that the Rage had gone out of Hurgrum, leaving her warriors gutless as water?

Bet not.

It was hard to be sure of anything where the Navahkan was concerned, but two things were certain as death.

All this while paused at a cross corridor stinking of torches, while listening to faint screams, while sneaking off to see Brandark (whoever he or she might be).
He hated and despised Prince Bahnak, and his contempt for the changes Bahnak had wrought in Hurgrum was boundless.

He is Churnazh. Is Hurgrum the entire region, with various city-states in it? The entire expository lump could probably have been condensed to this one sentence, and let Bahzell continue sneaking around.

Betcha a nickle that our boy Bahzell will turn aside from his original plan in order to see who's screaming, will meet a new character, and the plot will continue from there.

==========================

So, do we want to turn the page?
__________________

Originally Posted by Georgiana

Would you please explain what you mean about to some extent in erotica? The fanfic is pretty obvious but I'm baffled over this one.

If you want to be able to publish erotica in the US, oddly enough, it has to meet Canadian regulations if they're planning to export to Canada. That includes strictures against incest, and "incest" for Canadian legal purposes includes people who are only related through marriage. Your big publishers don't want their shipments of books confiscated at the Canadian border.

Also, in erotica, you can't show sexual relations between people under the age of 18. (Oddly, you can show 'em in, for example, serious YA novels, but not in erotica.)

Some other practices, or descriptions of them, may be illegal in certain jurisdictions. Publishers who regularly sell in those areas ... won't publish those stories, no matter how well they're written.

Seriously, you can do things in "literature" that you can't do in "pornography." Weird, but that's the way it works.

And on another note in the long PA thread you talked about how Ellora's Cave gets good reviews from its published authors yet I see that they offer no advances which would normally be a warning sign to me. Could you elaborate on why that is not a problem?

This isn't a problem because they manage to sell pretty well and pay decent royalties, on time.

The big cut off is between charging the author/not charging the author.

A good number of perfectly respectable small presses don't pay advances. The ones that charge money of an author, no matter how good the publisher's explanation might be, are on the other side of the line.

Ellora's Cave has proved that they do pay, and they sell to someone other than the author and the author's posse.
__________________

Originally Posted by Georgiana
I suspect what I should do is just write the first draft and let it be as erotic as it wants to be and then decide later whether or not to cut a bunch of it out.

You suspect right.

Write the book, then see which publishers would be a fit for the book.

If you're doing underage-girls-n-goats, with throbbing descriptions of bodily fluids splashing about, well, finding a publisher might be a bit tough. But what you describe sounds perfectly publishable.
__________________

So, delete everything from "He squeezed his dagger hilt..." through "...wrought in Hurgrum was boundless"?

Yeah, I could go with that. That was one heck of an expository lump filling the first two pages -- and it wasn't very gracefully written, either.

That one would be a "back on the shelf" for me. Or I might try the Page 147 Test. That's where you turn to page 147 to see if it's gotten any better.
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March 20, 2005 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=128&pp=25)

I'd go for re-readablity. I mean, people re-read books, right? And the book is totally "spoiled" for them, right?

If all that your book has going for it is a surprise twist ending, that's not much to hang your shingle on.
__________________

Yeah, in the world of movies, Sixth Sense and The Usual Suspects would be re-watchable because the twist ending isn't all they have going for them.

On the other hand ... The Village. The twist ending is all that movie has. It's not a watch-again.
__________________

As some of you may know, I'll be at Writer's Weekend (http://www.writersweekend.com/) in Seattle, 9-12 June '05.

Well, they now have a message board (http://writersweekend.noderunner.net/) set up, in case you aren't subscribed to enough message boards yet.
__________________

Really, there's nothing wrong with saying "What with this and that, some five years passed."

Look at books you know and like. How do those authors show the passage of time?
__________________

Disable the grammar-checker in your wordprocessor. You'll be better off.
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March 24, 2005 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=129&pp=25)

I guess I'd describe it as a thriller given that it is a fictional "explanation" (the "real" story behind the real story) for an international incident that took place in the 20th century.

I've seen that genre called "secret history."

My question is this: Is there any problem using real politicians and military personnel along with fictional additions as I tell this "story"?

The more public a person, the less protection that person has. Remember Forrest Gump meeting Lyndon Johnson? But that won't stop a real person from suing you, if that's what you're asking.

Do you have them doing bad things? Are they acting out of character?

The best I can tell you is -- write the story the best way you can, then let the publisher's legal department worry about it. Tell a strong story. Without a strong story, the question will never come up, since the story won't get published.
__________________

Congratulations to Viable Paradise graduate David Moles on being a finalist for the John W. Campbell Award (http://locusmag.com/2005/News/03_HugoNominations.html) for Best New Writer.

Congratulations to Viable Paradise graduate Greg van Eekhout on his nomination for a Nebula Award (http://www.sfwa.org/awards/2005/nebfinal2004.html).

__________________

Originally Posted by JohnLynch
In books I tend to ask "what next?", which is what I've done with this short story. I keep asking "what next?", "what next?", "what next?" so the story never ends. And I really only wanted to write a short-story in the first place (I've been avoiding writing the story because I don't think it's that great, but I do remind myself that yes, I can write crap. As long as I write). So how do you suggest I work out how to end it? Or how do you suggest I end it?

I suggest that you don't end it, because I don't see an ending there. At least, not yet. You've just gotten your characters into trouble.

(With our first novel, we were still calling it "the short story" when we hit 200 pages.)

Don't worry. When you come to the climax, you'll know. How will you know? Because suddenly the characters who had been acting purposefuly start wandering around and one of them says, "Hey, why don't we order out for pizza?"

As I see things, none of the characters have changed in any fundamental way, nor have you reached a natural stopping point.

Face it -- you've just finished the setup for a longer story than you had in mind. You've left too many "why"s lying around on the ground.

You aren't in a rush. Keep writing. See what happens.

(You want to learn how to write a novel? There's no substitute for writng one.)
__________________

Some of the Whys: Why's the king sending the sorceror?

Why's the sorceror obeying the king's orders?

Why are the machines interested in creating animal/machine pairings?

-----------

More characters? About time for our wandering pair to run into someone who's been living like a rat between the walls at this strange place.

Don't do flashbacks or backstory unless absolutety necessary.
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March 28, 2005 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=130&pp=25)

black wing -- just write. Figuring out which parts are lovely and which parts are trash is hard to do close-up.

Nichole -- we don't have dates for Viable Paradise 10 yet (except autumn, 2006). It will have a ten-year alumni reunion with an extra mini-workshop over the final weekend, though.
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March 31, 2003 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=131&pp=25)

Originally Posted by Julian Black
Finally, in frustration, I took a pair of scissors and cut apart the first draft of a 25-page paper that had been giving me nightmares. I cut it into paragraphs, and then laid the resulting slips of paper out on a table, shuffling them around until I had an order that made sense. I had to re-write a few of those paragraphs, and break some of them in two; I also realized what I was missing and thus needed to write from scratch so I could fill in the holes.

Congratulatoins! You independently re-invented cut and paste. That's where the terms that we see in wordprocessors come from: Authors used to do it manually with scissors and pastepots. (See, again, The Unstrung Harp (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0151004358/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/). What do you mean you haven't already gotten your copy!)

Even when you're using a wordprocessor, physically moving sheets of paper around can be very useful. On one memorable occasion I had parts of a novel all over the floor in the living room, dining room, and kitchen.

==============

A long time ago, back at the beginning of the thread, I suggested taking entire chapters and taping them to the wall side by side -- then going to the other side of the room and looking at the patterns the typing made, to make sure you don't have too much dialog or too much description.

Be visual. The arts are all related.

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James D. Macdonald

07-19-2006, 10:23 AM

04/01/05 and following. (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=131&pp=25)

Το Αρχαίο Τάγμα του Κρόνου

I'll explain what this is all about, someday.

==============

Answer: Peter Crossman's antagonists in his current adventure (now under construction).

"The moon's in Uranus."

"Kinda hard to walk that way, innit?"

=============

Anyway, here's my question: I want to submit my novel using a pseudonym, but I don't know what I'm supposed to say to the publisher/agent. Do I need to have a reason for wanting to use a pseudonym? I'm so confused.

You don't need a reason. The way you do it is this: You put your real name in the address in the top left corner of the manuscript, and you put the pseudonym in the byline under the title of the piece.

You will have a lot of time to discuss the name question with the editor during the whole editing process.

Sherwood Smith, now, is a friend of mine. Her legal name isn't "Sherwood Smith." It's a name that she likes.

Everything in a contract is negotiable, including your name and the date.

BTW using the BIC method I have just completed the rough draft of my fourth novel. Ugh, now comes the editing! I'm editing three mss right now. Another question: should I concentrate on editing these mss or should I start another ms?

Go, you!
Edit something every day, and write something every day (even if it's only a paragraph).

At some point, before you send off any manuscript, put it in your desk drawer and let it age for three months. Then re-read it and make your final changes.

===========

Part one of originality --

The More Things Change the More They Stay the Same

I spent fifteen years in destroyers and frigate in the North Altantic and Mediterranean. Men locked in small metal boxes for months on end -- well, that's very much like men locked in metal boxes for months on end, and if you call them spaceships, you have science fiction. And that's me -- I'm a science fiction writer.

Part two of originality --

Two Old Things Combined Make One New Thing

There haven't been any new plots since Homer sang. But, you can make stories seem new. Cheap trick combine two dissimilar stories into one:

Whar hae ye been, Lord Randall my son
Whar hae ye been, my handsome young one?
First doon tae Rosie's, mither,
First doon tae Rosie's, mither,
Make my bed soon,
For I'm shot in the breast and fain would lie doon.

What gat ye at Rosie's, Lord Randall my son
What gat ye at Rosie's, my handsome young one?
Fish in fish broo, mither,
Fish in fish broo, mither,
Make my bed soon,
For I'm shot in the breast and fain would lie doon.

And whar went ye next, Lord Randall my son,
And whar went ye next, my handsome young one?
I went tae the card-house, mither,
I went tae the card-house, mither,
Make my bed soon
For I'm shot in the breast and fain would lie doon.

What cards did ye hold, Lord Randall my son,
What cards did ye hold, my handsome young one?
Eights and aces, mither,
Eights and aces, mither,
Make my bed soon,
For I'm shot in the breast and fain would lie doon.

And how were ye dressed, Lord Randall my son
And how were ye dressed, my handsome young one?
I dressed as a cowboy, mither,
I dressed as a cowboy, mither,
Make my bed soon,
For I'm shot in the breast and fain would lie doon.

I fear ye've been bushwhacked, Lord Randall my son,
I fear ye've been bushwhacked, my handsome young one.
Oh yes I've been bushwhacked, mither,
Oh yes I've been bushwhacked, mither,
Make my bed soon
For I'm shot in the breast and fain would lie doon.

What d'ye leave tae your brother, Lord Randall my son,
What d'ye leave tae your brother, my handsome young one?
My watch chain and Stetson, mither,
My watch chain and Stetson, mither,
Make my bed soon,
For I'm shot in the breast and fain would lie doon.

What d'ye leave tae your sister, Lord Randall my son,
What d'ye leave tae your sister, my handsome young one?
My five-dollar gold piece, mither,
My five-dollar gold piece, mither,
Make my bed soon,
For I'm shot in the breast and fain would lie doon.

What d'ye leave tae your mither, Lord Randall my son,
What d'ey leave tae your mither, my handsome young one?
A rope tae hang ye, mither,
A rope tae hang ye, mither,
Make my bed soon,
For I'm shot in the breast and I fain would lie doon.

================

Jim, if I remember correctly, you mentioned you were 35 when you sold your first book. If you don't mind sharing, how long did it take you to write it, and for how long did you have to shop it around?

Took four months to write it. It was kind of an unusual circumstance, because it was a packaged novel -- we'd sold one short story, and an editor at a packager who was putting together a series asked if we'd like to write a novel. That was kind of neat -- like taking a course in novel-writing and getting paid for it too.

(The short story was the lead story in a prestige hard-cover anthology. Editors do look in such places for new talent.)

After that we had got an agent and the next six sold on proposal. The one after that took about six months, and when we got it done and mentioned that we'd written an adult novel (all the previous were YA novels), an editor at Tor said, "tell your agent not to send your book to anyone before she sends it to me."

That was the first nine novels, and they were all in the period '86 through '91.

==============

John, I can tell you exactly what's happening with you.

You're hitting the dread "mid-book." The joy of the opening is far behind, the climax is out of sight beyond the horizon -- and you're paddling, paddling, paddling with no hope of an end in sight.

Lots of people quit right then.

If you get through it, though, you get to the climax, and that's lots of fun. If you make through the mid-book you'll be rewarded.

Later, when you're re-reading and revising you'll notice that the mid-book is where all the neat variations and clever twists and neat surprises took place. You won't see them while they're happening, but they're there. You revise to point 'em up, to plant 'em properly in the beginning and tie them off properly in the end.

Next time, rather than quitting, bull your way thorugh. And when I say bull, I mean bull. As in BS.

BIC and onward. You aren't allowed to stop until you hit "The End."

The road to publication is strewn with the bones of men who faltered and died during the mid-book.

==================

"Thinking about writing" isn't "writing." Only "writing" is "writing."

By "bull your way through" -- imagine that you're in a bar with your buddies. You're BSing like crazy. Just telling stories. "That reminds me," you say, "remember that chick Fred was going with? The one who used to braid her nostril hair?" And you're off.

Get the characters doing things. Move 'em around. Bring in a new character if you have to in order to liven things up, or let one of the earlier minor characters have a turn. Make stuff up.

You're competing with the TV over the bar, the pool table, and the beer for your friends' attention. (They're your friends because otherwise they wouldn't be here with you.) Give 'em some reason to listen to you, but talk regardless. Silence will for-sure turn their attention back to the TV.

You're going to revise this stuff anyway. Just get words on paper.

==================

You tell the agent after he has agreed to represent you. Before that point it's your business, not his, what else you've done with the manuscript.

===================

Where are you deployed, Jason?

I picked up my college degree while on active duty deployed, and started writing while stationed overseas.

==================

I probably shouldn't mention what kind of unhealthy things I did to my body to make time for writing. (Up two hours before reveille; gallons of coffee.)

=================

Jason, Katee, I hereby give you permission to write absolute garbage.

I'm sure you've heard that everyone has to write a million or two words of garbage, to get 'em out of their systems? Well, what's stopping you? Get 'em on paper!

The only thing I don't give you permission to do is stop before you reach "The End."

Maybe the story will be good, maybe it won't be -- but until you get it on paper it ain't nothing.

================

Uncle Jim, you mention a few times that short stories are a very different beast to novels. What do you think about the advice that a new writer should practice short stories before starting a novel?

I think that some people do it that way.

I also know that some others start right in on novels.

I'm going to fall back on one of my standard evasions: Do what works for you.

I do think it's a mistake to wait around until you've sold X number of short stories before you start your novel -- I believe it's actually easier to sell a novel than a short story. There's less competition for novels and there're more markets.

==================
Wordcounts for publishers?

Check their guidelines.

You probably won't be wrong if you hit the 80,000-100,000 word range.

There's a bell curve. The closer to the edge you get, the more brilliant your manuscript has to be.

Making the manuscript the right length for the story is part of being brilliant.

================

Dare I ask the name of this publisher?

================

Please whisper it in my ear.

================

"Who are these people, why should we care about them, what do they have to do with the story?"

Those are excellent questions.

(I'm assuming you've posted the chapters in order, beginning with the first one, rather than random chapters from the middle of the book.)

Anyway ...

The most important of those questions is "why do we care?"

Recast your story in your mind as if each of those minor characters were the hero of his/her own book. What would their stories be?

Introduce them in their own plot arcs that have their own beginnings, middles, and ends. Make them three-dimensional. Cherish them. A minor character is just as important as your hero.

Take your favorite novel. Re-read it, paying special attention to the minor characters. How does the author introduce them? What are they doing when they aren't providing an important clue later on in the story?

=============

So. What haven't I thought of as I try to figure out how to tell this story?

Rather than a different person, you may need a different point-of-view character.

Does this judge have a sidekick? Think about Dr. Watson to Sherlock Holmes or Boswell to Dr. Johnson.

==============

The Mah'hin judge whose high chair he kneels before, Pel Mah'Gandy by name....

Confusion of antecedents. Is the judge, the chair, or "he" named Pel Mah'Gandy?

(Apostrophes in fantasy names are a cliche. Consider well before using them.)

Don't get tangled in adjectives.

Let's try something a bit more ... direct.

Judge Pel Mah'Gandy pulled at the edge of his shirt and tried to look comfortable. It wasn't working. He shifted in his seat and looked down at the naked boy kneeling before him.

The boy, at fourteen a scant ten years younger than Pel himself, didn't look any more comfortable than the judge felt. Not too surprising. They were both in the center of circle upon circle of grass-chewing Falyai -- merchants and Cheapsiders dressed in colorful spun-glass -- and the sun was beating down. The odors of sweat and mud mingled in the air of the crafter's ghetto.

The boy's tattoos would have made him look fierce in another context. Here, the snakes and scorpions that decorated his shaven head and lean torso looked pathetic.

"Marko Mah'Tenji," Judge Mah'Gandy began. "You have been called before this court to answer the charge of assault. The evidence has been heard. The terms have been given. Have you anything to say before I pass judgment?"

================

Better, I think.

Yeah, better.

By the time you reach The End, you may discover that this scene isn't the start of your book. This scene may not even be in your book. Who knows these things in advance? Continue on. When you have the entire mass of clay on your potter's wheel, then you can shape it.

==================

So how does one know if a "starting somewhere else" beginning is the "proper" beginning for a story, or if it needs to be hacked and beaten into a "point of no return" beginning?

Your story begins where all the preceeding events can't be summarized in a single sentence.

(BTW -- King and Straub have earned the right to slow beginnings through their reputations for strong closes. This isn't something that a first novel will enjoy. If your novel must start slowly, consider holding onto it until you've sold a few others. Or not. A sufficiently brilliant manuscript....)

(There are, of course, other sorts of openings besides car chases and explosions. What you really need is a sense of forward motion.)

=================

And in the end, that's what it's all about. Midlist authors still have ample distribution. They still have decent royalties. They just need to write something that other people want to read!

Sing it, sister! I'll join in on the chorus.

================

Too funny, and too true. (http://www.livejournal.com/users/blackholly/50626.html)

================

Somewhat on topic, When should you start shopping your work around?

First-time novelist?

1. I have 30,000 words in on my current project-bic nightly- and am curious to know if I should dig into my copy of Writers Market '05 to try and match it with a possible publisher-agent?

For-sure, start researching. What publisher would you most like to see with this novel? What's your number two choice? Your number three? Who would be your ideal agent? Who's number two? Number three?

2. Should I wait until the project is finished? I have read that one should not write another work until the first is sold. The thinking being that you may give up on the previous work.

Yes, if this is your first, wait until it's finished. This falls under the heading of "never bet against yourself." What's the best outcome you can imagine? You send off a query to your number one choice publisher or agent, and you get a reply: "Please send the entire work."

What are you going to say? "Ummm... wait six months"? For a first novel, have it in the bag and polished.

The day after you finish your first novel, start writing your second novel.

3. If I am to send out the work, I am under the impression that it be run through the ringer of re-writes, my best edit?

You don't want to send out first draft, if that's your question. Get it to the point where it's the best you can make it. (If you're putting in a comma in the morning and taking it out in the afternoon, you're at -- you're past -- that point.)

==============

If it's your second or subsequent novel, especially if your first has a decent track record, you can start querying with three-and-an-outline without writing a word more. If someone offers a contract you write the book, living on the advance money while doing so.

Of course, finishing the book that you're sending around as a query wouldn't be a bad plan.

Make sure you aren't walking all over an option clause while you're doing this.

And ... having an agent becomes Very Useful Indeed 'round about that point in your career.

================

First-time novelist?

Uncle, Thanks. As you know with the "other guys" I wrote a book.
So yes I would have to say my first novel in the sense that I'm really testing the market. It's not like I'm haven't written quite a few.

It doesn't matter if you have a hundred novels in your desk drawer; you're still a first-time novelist until your first novel is published. (And, sad to say, that place in Maryland doesn't count.)

I really have faith in this one. I'm behind it 100%. I'm excited about the two ideas I put together to come up with the plot. It's my best work to date.
So.... I want to do it right the first time.

Go, you!

More ?

1. Then, when finished, should I try to send it to houses that take submissions without an agent?

Depends. Is it a good house? Do they get distribution? Would you be proud to be published by them regardless of the agent situation?

2. I do have a party that is interested that is an agent, Janet Reid-jetreid agency. I have queried, she said she would read the first three when ready. Should I go with her if she says she'll take it on? I do know she has sold some works, and asks for no money.

I assume that you've researched her. Wouldn't hurt to try her first if you think you'd be sympatico.

3. Okay, back to a question I ask previously. I said that my story seems to rush to an end at 60,000 words. Do I, go back and flesh out? Add backstory? I'm a to the point writer. I.E. (The sky was clear.) Not,( The sky was wrapped in a deep blue blanket that encompassed the horizon.) I guess, I'm asking, where and how should I enlarge the word count without too much flowery content and needless words?

You don't make stories longer by padding them with more words. You make 'em longer by adding more plot. Could a minor character use a subplot of his own? Only add backstory if it improves the book and advances the plot.

==================

Now that you have a first draft, print it out, take a red pencil, go sit in a coffee house, and read it, marking it up the whole way with Things That You've Noticed and Want to Fix.

==================

If round about 50,000 words one of your main characters suddenly "evolves" into to someone completely different, ie; he has a dark past that's popped out of nowhere (from the writer's point of view) and advances the plot wonderfully, going back and changing things, would that constute a rewrite or is a rewrite something more minor such as realizing your chronology is off and going back to change June to August.

The temptation for the first one is extreme.

Woo! It's great when that happens.

I'll tell you what I do when it happens to me:

I have the character say "Woo! My whole backstory just changed. Boy, do I have a dark past!"

Then continue as if the first half of the book were already re-arranged. Write from and incorporating your new-found insight and knowledge.

You may have more revelations before the book is finished. Too bad if re-wrote the first half, then had to re-write it again. This is what I mean when I say that until you hit "The End" you don't know what you've got.

Then -- you go back and take the thing in to the shop. You're going to have to do a whole lot of front-end alignment. That's okay!

(Coffee houses are really great because they get you out of your usual scenery, and you can rent a table all day if you just keep drinking the coffee. Besides, being a writer in a coffee house is traditional.)

==================

On the interaction between the author and the character:

Railroad Bill and the Kitten (http://sniff.numachi.com/%7Erickheit/dtrad/pages/tiRRBILLKT;ttRRBILLKT.html)

==================

Sometimes I add myself as a character in the first drafts. Not as a character who'll be in the final version, but as myself: The bearded author, who sits on the couch in the room and discusses with the other characters how the plot is going, whether the dialog needs work, and what they think about their own characterizations.

(The last chapter of the first draft is always the Cast Party, where the characters show up as their normal everyday selves, wearing Hawaiian shirts, drinking beer, and carrying on. And the last line of every book is always where the characters raise their glasses and say "Here's to the author! Without that poor overworked underpaid SOB we'd all be out of a job!")

All this stuff is removed in the second and subsequent drafts.

===================

I proofread as I type, and make minor revisions. I just can't let typos or spelling or grammar errors slide, and if I realize another word would work better I go ahead and change it. I can't not do it--it drives me insane.

Heck, I do that too. It isn't lke the old days when you had to bring out the correction fluid or an eraser shield and eraser when you made a typo. (Anyone but me still remember eraser shields?)

But I don't go back to the previous day's work and fiddle with it.

=================

Simply put: How the frell is this possible? Am I nuts, or does that add up to more than 24 hours in a day? I'm OK with making sacrifices, but we're almost talking Mayan proportions here. Or at least that's how I feel.

It isn't possible. So don't let it concern you.

I read while standing in the chow line. I thought about revision while driving, so could quickly write 'em down.

After you've reached The End if all you have is those two hours per day and nothing more -- I give you permission to do 15 minutes of original writing, and spend the other hour forty-five on rewrites.

You will have to make decisions about what's important to you. TV went out of my life a long time ago.

The important thing is that you do some writing every day. To call yourself a writer, only one thing is required: That you write.

===================

I've read posts on this board and I know that proposing a huge novel (possibly 200,000+ words) will only get me a stack of rejection letters.

Standard disclaimer: Unless it's brilliant.

Anyway ... in between writing the Big Book, you might try a shorter novel or two. Can't hurt. Get some things out in the mail and making the rounds. (And the practice of bringing a novel all the way to Ready To Submit will be good for you. Nothing teaches you how to write a novel better than writing a novel.)

Anyway ...

I'm not certain that the angel idea is the best thing to work on. Do you have any ideas that you don't already have in script form -- that are just ideas? Can any of them be made into 80,000 words over the next three months? If so, that might be a direction I'd go.

==================

I have a wide range of ideas and a lot of different genres...

Pick one that excites you, that you'd love to explore, and that has a strong climax.

==================

she had friends in high places to give her a boost.

All that having friends in high places will get you is your work read more quickly, and, if it isn't brilliant, a quicker rejection.

==================

Should I try to edit ( I think both need a major edit) those and send them to an agent or just send them directly to a publisher?

If they need a major edit, yes, edit them. Revise and rewrite until you're sure they're the best you can make them.

If I were you, I'd look for an agent first (you can query many at once), though if there's a major publisher that takes books in your genre submitting it there at the same time wouldn't hurt.

I know agents don't require money up front but what happens if they don't sell your novel? Is the writer then out a ton of money?

If they don't sell your novel that's their loss, not yours. That's why they're picky about who they represent.

For more on agents, see here: Everything you wanted to know about literary agents. (http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/2005/01/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about.asp)

You probably also want to read Slushkiller (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html).

=================

Follow the publishers' and agents' guidelines to the letter -- and write your next book.

I can't promise that you will get published. But I can promise that unless you work at your writing ... you won't.

=================

My question is, what should I do? Start over at the beginning, pick up where I left off (in the middle of a chapter)? or delete my last chapter and start from there?

This will depend entirely on your temperament.

I would suggest starting fresh with a whole new novel (new plot, new characters) or resuming at the start of the next chapter in the current work.

===================

So, I went ahead and wrote up a scene from later in the book. I've done this for four other scenes later in the book now, and am slowly closing up the gaps between them...it's felt good to actually have some production...

Yeah I do that. If a later scene shows up in my mind I write it right then when I'm thinking of it.

==================

Varieties of insanity known to affect authors (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004307.html#79434)

==================

We are considered the sane and reasonable ones (even boring) compared to rock musicians, pop divas and actors.

That's because, on what an author makes, who can afford drugs?

==================

I thought the brochure explicitly stated that there would be groupies.....

Groupies. Yeah.

I've got groupies. Unfortunately, most groupies don't look like Playboy centerfolds. At least mine don't. Maybe I have to be richer and more famous.

And ... some writers have made some serious mistakes. First, your spouse or significant other may not be as supportive of that part of the writers' lifestyle as the other parts, and second, penicillin doesn't cure everything.

===============

**<<Goggle>>**

Someone who explicitly writes most of his books WITH HIS WIFE gets groupies? There seems to be a rather significant reality check that was missed.

For some reason there's a class of young ladies who seem to feel that the way to get published is to screw a writer.

I have to keep explaining to them, "No, no, you don't understand. To get published an editor has to screw the writer."

Pervy Editor-Fancier (http://www.cafepress.com/oftpublished.2278121)

Does she at least get an equal number?

If she does, I don't want to know about it.

================

There have been some messy divorces. Don't do this, guys. Have some self-respect.

=================

Story time.

There was a writer I know who went to a convention without his wife. He did, however, take along his three-year-old child.

Later, the child told Mommy everything that he'd seen and heard (as three-year-olds will do).

The wife got the house, the car, and custody of the kid. The writer, when last heard from, was living in a refrigerator box.

=================

Forgive me for asking, but I'm honestly curious: why would an author want to burn his first novel?

Because it's probably not his best work.

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't finish it, and make it the best you can while you're writing it.

=================

How do you not InfoDump?

You don't! Not in the first draft. Dump that info right on the page. It counts for writing.

Then, when you go back for the second draft, take your big honkin' ol' red pencil and cross it all out!

See, the InfoDump is gone.

This is material the author needs to know, but not necessarily the reader. The reader will learn all that's necessary from the character interactions during the course of your book.

==============

Changling:

Your POV should be the character who's standing in the best place to show the scene. Minor characters make wonderful POVs.

If a scene isn't working, write it from a different POV and see how it reads.

===========

Sunandshadow:

If it isn't too much trouble, can I ask you to go back through either the Index to Uncle Jim or Uncle Jim Undiluted to see what I had to say about Celtic Knotwork as Plot? If that isn't useful to you, we can talk about other ways of looking at plot.

===========

In a moment --

The first scene from the second volume from one of our middle grades books.

============

The backstory going into the first scene of the second volume of a middlegrades book:

Slap! Randal swatted a stinging horsefly that had tried to make a meal from his shoulder.

"One down," he counted aloud. Then he looked at the swarm still hovering in the air around him. "Only about four thousand to go."

The late afternoon sun beat down on the Basilisk, a small country inn a few day's ride from Tattinham, near the eastern mountains of Brecelande. Inside the stable, the air was thick with the stink of manure and rotting straw, and throbbed with the buzzing of a myriad heavy, slow-moving flies. Randal had once been a squire in his uncle's castle of Doun, and most recently had been an apprentice wizard at the Schola Sorceriae, the School of Wizardry in Tarnsberg on the western sea. Now he heaved another pitchfork-load of manure over his shoulder, and wondered why he'd ever left home.

Randal was about fifteen, with the height and the sturdy build that come of being well-fed from earliest childhood. At the moment, however, a film of grey dust covered most of his face, and sweat plastered his long, untrimmed black hair to his head and neck. Randal had started work when a pair of merchants departed and left the stables empty, but the Basilisk's regular hostler—who should have been working with him—had never shown up.

"It's no good," Randal muttered. "I have to rest."

He leaned the pitchfork against the wall of the stable, and rubbed his hands down the front of his tunic. His right palm ached, as it did whenever he performed hard physical work these days. He looked down at the hand, and at the raised, red scar that stretched across it—low on the side away from his thumb, higher on the thumb edge, so that it actually crossed the first joint of his forefinger.

Randal clenched and unclenched his hand, trying to ease the cramp in the scar-stiffened flesh. If only he hadn't grabbed the sharp-edged blade of Master Laerg's ceremonial sword ... if only he hadn't used the magical object like a knightly weapon, to kill the renegade wizard Laerg before his spells could destroy not only Randal but the entire School of Wizardry, if only ... but if he hadn't done those things, he would be dead now, and the kingdom of Brecelande would be held fast in Laerg's sorcerous grip.

Even working here for the rest of my life, thought Randal, glancing about the filthy stable, would be better than that.

He took up the pitchfork again, and returned to mucking out the befouled straw. As he worked, he took some comfort in knowing that tomorrow or the next day should see him on the road again, well away from the Basilisk and its stinking stable, and within reach—at last—of his goal.

Magic.

More than anything else, Randal had wanted to be a wizard, a worker in spells and the enchantments that could change the texture of reality—or, more practically, make short work of clearing out a filthy stable. He had spent three years at the Schola in Tarnsberg, studying the magical arts, before breaking the oldest law of wizardry, the one that forbade a wizard to attack or defend with steel.

His action had saved the Schola from destruction, and the Regents—the master wizards who controlled the School of Wizardry—had not been ungrateful. They'd made Randal a journeyman wizard, setting him on the second stage of the long road that led from apprenticeship to mastery. But they'd also done something else.

They'd taken his magic away from him. Until he could get permission from the wizard Balpesh, once a Regent of the Schola and now a hermit living near Tattinham in the eastern mountains, all Randal's skill and training had to remain untouched, no matter how great the need.

The whole chapter is here (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/WIZ2EXPT.HTM).

Discussion in just a minute.

==============

aw crap. back to the drawing board. Is there any way, given the excerpt we already used, to get the meat of the plot into it?

Have you gotten all the way to "THE END" on this draft? If not, it's way too early to be talking about Back to the Drawing Board.

================

This is what I get for just jumping into the next book before I have a good beginning in my head.

Get a good ending in your mind. That's even better.

Given this beginning: The ending will include Megan and Stephen, and Megan galloping on Thunder.

================

Slap! Randal swatted a stinging horsefly that had tried to make a meal from his shoulder.

[Start with action, and our protagonist, and he's already having a rotten day.]

"One down," he counted aloud. Then he looked at the swarm still hovering in the air around him. "Only about four thousand to go."

[His day is only getting worse. He's in a frustrating situation; no matter what he does, he's not going to make things better.]

The late afternoon sun beat down on the Basilisk, a small country inn a few day's ride from Tattinham, near the eastern mountains of Brecelande.

[An inn, named after a supernatural creature. Tattinham has an English sound to it (in fact, I'm referring to the Middle-English metrical romance, The Tournament of Tottenham. No reason that the readers should know that, but it amused me. We'll be going to a tournament there next. The geography lesson continues ... and before long we'll be visiting both that town and those mountains. Brecelande means 'broken land,' which it is, symbolically, due to the lack of a lawful king. This is again something that's mostly for me.]

Inside the stable, the air was thick with the stink of manure and rotting straw, and throbbed with the buzzing of a myriad heavy, slow-moving flies.

[Yeuch! Gross!]

Randal had once been a squire in his uncle's castle of Doun, and most recently had been an apprentice wizard at the Schola Sorceriae, the School of Wizardry in Tarnsberg on the western sea.

Now he heaved another pitchfork-load of manure over his shoulder, and wondered why he'd ever left home.

[Under the circumstances, woudn't you? Action to break up the huge infodump.]

Randal was about fifteen, with the height and the sturdy build that come of being well-fed from earliest childhood.

[Description of character, early enough so the readers won't have formed too much of their own picture.]

At the moment, however, a film of grey dust covered most of his face, and sweat plastered his long, untrimmed black hair to his head and neck. Randal had started work when a pair of merchants departed and left the stables empty, but the Basilisk's regular hostler—who should have been working with him—had never shown up.

[Sounds uncomfortable. The merchants are going to drive a bit more of the plot in a chapter or so, and the ostler's disappearance is significant. Also puts our character into a poor-me-set-upon mood. Things will shortly get worse.]

"It's no good," Randal muttered. "I have to rest."

[Finally, some dialog!]

He leaned the pitchfork against the wall of the stable, and rubbed his hands down the front of his tunic. His right palm ached, as it did whenever he performed hard physical work these days. He looked down at the hand, and at the raised, red scar that stretched across it—low on the side away from his thumb, higher on the thumb edge, so that it actually crossed the first joint of his forefinger.

Randal clenched and unclenched his hand, trying to ease the cramp in the scar-stiffened flesh. If only he hadn't grabbed the sharp-edged blade of Master Laerg's ceremonial sword ... if only he hadn't used the magical object like a knightly weapon, to kill the renegade wizard Laerg before his spells could destroy not only Randal but the entire School of Wizardry, if only ... but if he hadn't done those things, he would be dead now, and the kingdom of Brecelande would be held fast in Laerg's sorcerous grip.

[The summary of Volume One, for the folks who haven't read it. This book was being offered through a school book club, where there was no guarantee that the others would have been read -- or even available. Each volume has to contain everything. Laerg is from the Welsh, the Seven Sorrows of Storytelling.]

Even working here for the rest of my life, thought Randal, glancing about the filthy stable, would be better than that.

[No such luck. Things will shortly get much worse.]

He took up the pitchfork again, and returned to mucking out the befouled straw. As he worked, he took some comfort in knowing that tomorrow or the next day should see him on the road again, well away from the Basilisk and its stinking stable, and within reach—at last—of his goal.

[The plot shows up! Hurrah!]

Magic.

[Yep, it's a fantasy.]

More than anything else, Randal had wanted to be a wizard, a worker in spells and the enchantments that could change the texture of reality—or, more practically, make short work of clearing out a filthy stable. He had spent three years at the Schola in Tarnsberg, studying the magical arts, before breaking the oldest law of wizardry, the one that forbade a wizard to attack or defend with steel.

[More backstory, and a bit more infodumping. Also asks the question the readers are no doubt asking themselves by now -- why's he doing this the hard way?]

His action had saved the Schola from destruction, and the Regents—the master wizards who controlled the School of Wizardry—had not been ungrateful. They'd made Randal a journeyman wizard, setting him on the second stage of the long road that led from apprenticeship to mastery. But they'd also done something else.

[More summary of the last chapter of volume one. This is because you really have to know what went on to follow this book. Originally, the novel had been a 400 page book, which we couldn't sell because Harry Potter was still ten years in the future and no one thought kids would read a 400 page book. So it was cut into pieces, and the summaries added -- our story so far -- in the first chapter of each volume.]

They'd taken his magic away from him. Until he could get permission from the wizard Balpesh, once a Regent of the Schola and now a hermit living near Tattinham in the eastern mountains, all Randal's skill and training had to remain untouched, no matter how great the need.

[He's going on pilgrimage to do penance. Also tells us what and where the last chapter will be. Pesh is from Peshawar, a city on the Kyhber Pass, since we're going to a pass in the mountains. Bal -- would it be more obvious if I spelled it Baal (The Lord in Hebrew)? Yes, this whole thing is a religious allegory. So shoot me.]

================

I just had a thought, should I write it now so I don't feel the rush to reach it?

Write it now. Write it while the white fire is buring in your veins and the lightning is flashing from your fingertips.

=================

As it happens the Circle of Magic books (a bit quoted from above) were plotted using Celtic knotwork. Alas, my skill with computer graphics programs is small enough that I can't really do a good picture for you.

If you want to recreate that diagram, though ... make a circle with six points. Join each point, every other point, and every third point. Draw your knot. Make it three-stranded. Label one strand Head, the second Arm, the third Heart. Now label one strand Randal, one strand Walter, and one strand Lys. Then label one oak, one ash, and one thorn.

You will see which will be the main character, which will be secondary character, and which the background character in each book. You will also see the theme of each book.

The series does form a circle. It ends where it started (physically), with the promises made at the beginning kept at the end.

The fifth book (The Prisioners of Bell Castle, reprinted as The Wizard's Castle) contains within it a triple time-loop, built according to the same principles. Someone who wanted to could even reconstruct the diagram from the chapters of that book.

Yes, I got Trinitarian in there.

Watch out also for the appearance of the Holy Spirit, seen as a bird.

How do you outline a complex story made out of various plot arcs? Lay them out on paper. Show them interacting. Show which one is in the foreground.

This is not an entirely mechanical system. Make the pattern pretty.

Or. Write the parts as separate stories. After they're done, see how to interweave them. You can do this by chronology or by character or by theme.

The important thing is to write your book. Thinking about writing is not writing.

====================

I'd believe that a young lady, especially one who's horse crazy, would be up with the sun to go riding.

Get on with the story, then see where the beginning belongs.

===================

I could have BICed all night, I could have BICed all night,
And still have BICed some more.
I need to clean and cook but I worked on my book
'Til quarter after four.
I never knew my characters would do that,
Never saw the plot in quite that light:
Suffice it to say, when it turned out that way,
I could have BICed, BICed, BICed all night.

===================

Remember: When the Muse comes to your house she expects to find you in front of your keyboard. If you aren't there, she won't go looking for you -- she'll move on to the next writer on her list.

===================

I think I fell in love with writing (again) after reading this thread.

Thanks, FreeSlave. That's the sort of thing that makes it all worthwhile.

(And BTW, I did write five chapters last night, and stayed up to past four this morning doing it. It happens.)

====================

How many chapters do you see? How long do you see your book being?

Divide that diagram into however many parts as your book will have chapters.

Say it's twenty chapters of 20 pages each. Divide the diagram into 20 segments.

Think of what your climax will be.

Now, without more ado, look at the first segment.

Write the first chapter with that bit of diagram pinned beside your monitor.

Looks like the chapter begins with Merru, and Lieann joins about half-way through.

You probably want to expand and even up the right-hand side of the diagram so you can see what's in there.

BTW, the diagram is pretty messy -- I don't see it as terribly like a Celtic knot.

Try using this one:

http://members.aol.com/labcallig/items/dotknot1.gif

That's Merru and Attranath at the top left and Lieann and Ravenin at the bottom left. The midpoint far left is where two minor characters join in.

Fit your plot into that diagram. I fear that the diagram you showed me is your plot as it stands. Rearrange it until it's even and regular, with strict. interlacings. Fit your plot onto the diagram above. Alter the plot to follow the curves and maintain the balance.

===================

Merru and Attranath are purple, yes? And Lieann and Ravenin blue? So... hm... would the top half of the purple represent one character, and the bottom half the other?

Yep. Or ... add a couple of more colors. At the left-most points, divide so you have an upper purple, and what was the lower purple is now ... yellow.

Same way, divide the blue at the left-most point.

Then divide the red at the left-most point, so you have a top that's red, and a bottom that's grey. (They'll meet again to the right of that small figure.)

I can almost grasp how you would go about putting this into practice, but not quite... what would it tell you about what's in the first chapter?

Introductions of the four characters. Purple is at the very top, so it's stressed.

This isn't mechanical ... it's more of a meditation device, and shows you what has to be in the chapter. How you get it there -- that's another problem.

For your climax: Think of something that would look really good in wide screen 70mm with Dolby sound and a score by John Williams. That will be the climax you're driving toward. You may not ever get there, but it gives you an aim point.

==================

I have read through the first sixteen pages or so of this thread, and found some things very entertaining.

Welcome, Other Jim!

What're you working on, and what are your goals?

================

Is it different if you're writing about a society with 'strange' rules and perceptions that is Here and Now? Not all my characters react as people in other societies do under the same circumstances. Do I need to explain the 'why?' behind everything they do? Actually, that's something my beta-readers should be able to help with…

There's no need to explain the 'why' of anything unless you're writing a textbook. Just show the actions and the reactions of your characters.

That's the secret of building alien/fantasy worlds too: Don't explain: Show.

================

I don't want to get into the whole 'and then' thing again. This is one of my idiosyncrasies. Consider it religious on my part if it comforts you to do so. For me, and to me, the word cluster 'and then' is always and everywhere clumsy, illogical, and wrong. It is wrong for the same reason and in the same way that the phrase "over and out" is wrong in radio conversations. It can never be correct. Bring a stack of grammar books written by the highest authorities: I'll take a red pen and correct them. Let a copyeditor add "and" to "then" or "then" to "and" in my manuscript and my STET stamp will come out.

End of discussion.

================

"Over and out" is self-contradictory. "And then" is redundant.

"And then" is self-contradictory. "And" in that word-group means "simultaneously." "Then" in that word-group means "sequentially."

It is permissible to use "and then" in dialog, to reveal character.

================

I'm honestly lost on this, I've never heard this issue explained quite this way before. Could I maybe get some of you to give me some good examples that I could learn from, of 'Don't Explain: Show?'

"I got in my car and headed for Long Island" doesnt include any explanation for how an internal combustion engine works.

==================

Further on showing v. telling:

As the inimitable HapiSofi put it elsewhere (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-861.html) at AW:

Gala contributed:
[i]
Tell: Bambi was so angry at Bob for the way he talked to her.
Show: Bambi slapped Bob's face.

"Honey, sweetie," I said, "you know I wouldn't lie to you."

"The hell you say," I heard her mutter, just before her baseball bat connected with my head.

Tell: Bertha felt like throwing a tantrum.
Show: Bertha stomped her feet, and threw the empty glass at the fireplace.

"What kind of idiot do you take me for?" screeched Bertha, throwing her empty glass at the fireplace and reaching for another.

Tell: She thought it was about time he showed up.
Show: She opened the door, and said, "It's about time you showed up.

"By the time the cab pulled up in front of her house, she had already thrown all my clothes out onto the lawn, followed by my golf clubs. Then she kicked open the front door, and I saw what she had in her hands.

"Stella, please," I said. "Not the computer."

=================

I don't really understand why "over and out" is impossible.

"Over" means "I'm done talking and expect a reply." "Out" means "I'm done talking and don't expect a reply."

"Over and out" means nothing whatever.

The prowords "over" and "out" are necessary when you're transmitting and receiving on the same frequency (half duplex). They're good practice at all times.

================

Is there a general rule of thumb for how a magazine will feel about vulgarity in a story?

Read the magazine you're submitting to. Get copies of their guidelines, and follow them.

Realism: Remember that dialog in literature doesn't sound like natural speech. Dialog is a literary convention.

================

Uncle Jim, would you mind sharing how many different novels you wrote before submitting for the first time?

One that's never been submitted.

================

Moral of the story for us?

You just gotta submit that thing! One only learns by doing!

Well, no. In not submitting my first novel I've joined the ranks of such literary greats as Hemingway, who didn't submit his first novel either.

Far too many writers fail to burn their first books. (Exception: If you personally are a genius, and your first novel is briiliant.)

Entirely too many authors who have failed to burn their first novel then spend ten years trying to sell it rather than write a second novel.

====================

Can you call it a novel if you never submitted it? Or is it just a big stack of garbage prose? That's how I see my first attempt. I don't even dignify that thing with the word "novel."

Sure you can call it a novel. If it pleases you to do so.

====================

40 years? what's that? Time in the wilderness before entering the promised land? If it's a good story, recycle it as soon as it seems right, or at least recycle it in your head and see if it sounds better.

Recycle it? If you must. A better idea might be a different story with different characters in a different situation.

===================

How many of those characers are major characters?

How many are just walk-ons?

===================

E.G. -- How far have you progressed? Have you reached the end of the first book yet? The second?

Maybe reading War and Peace would help you in working with large casts. Maybe not. But I tell you for true: It won't teach you a tenth as much as writing the novel.

So ... what have you gotten done so far? It doesn't have to be finished and polished, but do you have first draft yet?

===================

E.G. if this is the book that's filling your heart, let it out. Write it fully, the best that you can. Perhaps you'll publish this one, perhaps you'll publish others. But until you've written this one you won't know what you have and what you can do.

================

And how would I "introduce the world to some of these folks" and give "these characters a road test?" if my work isn't really finished?

Short stories.

================

Do you mean just a couple short stories, trying to get them published in anthologies or magazines or do you mean a short story collection, trying to get it published as a novel?

I mean single, stand-alone short stories, a couple of characters each. Beginnings, middles, ends. Try the magazines and any appropriate magazines.

Collections are kinda a tough market.

----------------

The prequel novel -- only if it's truly stand-alone. A satisfying climax with the loose ends tied in a pretty bow.

==============

Lenora, go BIC.

==============

BIC = Butt In Chair.

You don't become a writer by thinking about writing. You don't become a writer by talking about writing. You become a writer by putting your butt in your chair and writing something.

==============

Do I type above Chapter One, Summer, 1968, do I try to find a sublte way to add it into the beginning narrative?

Why not put the date above Chapter One? You can delete it later.

Let's see -- 1968. Does your protagonist go to see Night of the Living Dead in the movie theatres? Or want to and be forbidden because of the article in Reader's Digest that her granny read? What's on TV? News about Vietnam? Is the TV black and white? How are people dressed? How do they talk?

If the exact date isn't important to the story, you can just not mention. But you, the author, should know exactly when it is. Follow it out on the calendar. Note what was happening. Be consistent. Your sureness will make the reader trust you.

Now on to realism in dialog. Really -- take a tape recorder and record some natural dialog. Transcribe it.

Then compare your transcription to literary dialog. You see?

Specifically -- you don't need to have your villains say "Gosh wow!" to avoid having them use really foul language. You can leave out the really foul language, and no one will notice.

==================

To Kill a Mockingbird is definitely set in a certain time and place (though I don't recall that a year was ever given).

Peyton Place is again set in a definte time.

So is A Separate Peace.

All of these, and many more, were evocative of a time and place. Generic can be wishy-washy. Your readers are hoping that you will help them see the world more clearly.

(Many years ago I wrote a YA book set mostly in gangland Chicago. During the course of my research I found the day of the week* when Bugs Moran was released from Joilet before he joined Dion O'Bannion's bootleggers. That never appeared on the page, but I knew it. I like to think that having those little details in my head gave me a sureness that the readers appreciated.)

*Sunday. He was in on a breaking and entering beef. (I also know what brand of cigarettes** he smoked.)

** Clown brand.*** Why do you ask?

*** Which may well have contributed to his death from lung cancer in 1957.

=============

Can't tell without reading the story.

It might work. Why not try and see?

I'm sure it's been done, but darned if I can remember any examples right now. In film, there's always Rashomon.

===============

For those who don't want to click away to a different thread, short answer: To show a linebreak you use a pound sign (#) centered. How this will show up in the printed book is up to the book's designer.

Meanwhile, for those who do want to click away to a different site: Dealing Poorly with Rejection (http://www.drinkatwork.com/2005/04/comic-strip-writing-101-coping-poorly.html).

===============

[b]Watt-Evans' Law of Literary Creation: There is no idea so stupid or hackneyed that a sufficiently-talented writer can't get a good story out of it.
Feist's Corollary: There is no idea so brilliant or original that a sufficiently-untalented writer can't screw it up.

For more fun:

The Evil Overlord Plot Generator (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/2002_06.html#000290)

===============

If you just use a blank line you may be in danger of a copyeditor closing it up. The pound sign is used to mean, "no kidding, really, I meant for this line to be blank."

No one is going to reject your manuscript just because you put your pound sign flush left rather than centered. (It'll get rejected for lots of reasons, but not that.) Nor will it be rejected only because you used three asterisks rather than a pound sign, or something silly like that. A compelling story overrides linebreak symbols.

If the publication has a specific format specified in their guidelines, of course, you follow their guidelines.

==================

Uncle Jim, if I may be so bold as to ask - and to back the discussion up a few pages while I'm at it - what made you not submit that first novel?

It stank.

I find it hard to judge the quality of my work. Is this a knack you pick up? Or am I doomed? Any hints?

Let's assume that you don't look at it after it's spent a month in your desk drawer and say, "Man, this one just didn't come together." How do you know you're good? You don't. Other people tell you that.

Your beta readers start handing copies of your book to their friends. Their friends start bugging you for your next book. Things like that.

If you're a writer you're doomed anyway. Think nothing of it.

=================

I'd like to re-echo Katie's sentiments, how do you know it is good. I'm in a similar position and I know the best thing is to finish the novel first but....

Yes. Finish the novel.
So I'm worried that I'll finish the book and that it'll be fundamentally flawed through bad pacing no matter how much I re-write it.

That's a valid concern, and it's one of the ways a novel can be fundamentally flawed. So, what is going on in the first third? Is there psychological movement? Why is the reader following along?

It may come when you're at second draft stage that you'll be cutting that entire first third.

On a more micro level, I'll introduce a character and a subplot and a corresponding bit of worldbuilding and I'll be wondering whether this is sufficently compelling to be included in the story (I guess I can remove these subplots in later drafts).

Yep. That's second/third draft territory.

==================

It's a fantasy book and some of the ones I've read lately have swordfights left, right and center which got me doubting my story.

Car chases and explosions aren't the only sorts of movement that're possible. Psychological movement is just as good (some say better).

Read widely. Read the top award winning and critically successful books. Read the top selling books. Read the classics.

Read. We can't write otherwise.

====================

Time, Romans.

In a pub in Londinium at the end of the second century, a legionary squad consisting of Handsome Hans the Teutonic Terror, Gaius Gracchus the Grinning Gaul, Manual Magister the Enigmatic Iberian, and Severus Sixtus (seventh son of Senator Sapium) are having a few drinks when the publican announces last call. Wacky hijinks ensue.

=====================

To be a baptized Catholic male is the only one.

Yeah, I know -- and while I didn't get my hopes up too high....

=================

Tie me, Romans!

A kinky young lady learns about life and love during an unforgetable vacation in the Eternal City.

==================

Your next challenge!

Take one of the ideas above and turn it into a story. You won't have completed the assignment until you've actually submitted it to a paying market.

===================

Do a linebreak and switch POV, or use a different POV character for the entire scene.

Your POV is the person who's best able to see the important actions. That's why you make 'em POV to start with.

===================

FWIW, I have not a friggin' clue what a "marketing plan" for a novel might look like.

Maybe "Roses are red/ Violet's are blue/ I'll sign people's bookplates/ I hope that'll do."

=======================

Hurrah! Back! There was a glitch in the board that kept me from posting.

Anyway ... have to do some catching up. But while that's happening ...

The Locus Poll only has a couple more days to run. You don't need to be a Locus subscriber to participate.

https://secure.locusmag.com/2005/Issues/02PollAndSurvey.html

=================

It seems a darn shame that a book must fit nicely onto one and only one shelf. I'd love to write a science fiction horror romance, or a comic historical mystery. I'm just afraid I'd be told, "We can't market this." Wouldn't such a book appeal to more people than peruse just one shelf?

The thing is -- the bookstores have to shelve it somewhere. The publishers and the bookstores are trying to maximize sales, so they put a book where they think it'll find the most readers. A book can be a science fiction horror romance, but where it'll be shelved is going to be where they think it'll sell the best, or by which element prevails.

My own Mageworlds series was one of the first space opera/magical fantasy crossovers, and it did real well. (The fourth one in that series, The Gathering Flame, was a romance.)

===================

I'm at the stage where I can recognize good description and most of the time I can see HOW it was done. But when am I going to be able to DO it?

You'll be able to do it after you've done it enough times to see what's happening.

You're a musician practicing scales. You're a magician practicing palming. You listen to yourself, or you watch yourself in a mirror. You go to clubs and listen to the performers, or watch them, as the case may be, to see how the guys who are standing where you want to stand are doing it.

Let me play with that little opening a bit, okay?

It was hot in the train car that evening. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care. The guy across from me was a gambler. I could tell by the black frock coat and string tie...

Right. "It was" (or "there were") is generally a weak opening. You'll want to have 'em in your bag of tricks for when you want to direct (or misdirect) your readers ... but the first words of a story probably isn't one of those places. What's important here? The heat? The train? I think the important bit is the other character, the guy.

So let's start: The guy...

Which guy?

The guy in the black frock coat. Are both of those adjectives needed? Probably not.

The guy in the frock coat...

Time for the verb ... what's he doing? He's sitting, but that's not too exciting. There's always a version of "to be," but that's not too exciting either. He's a gambler. What's a gambler thing for him to do? How about the trick where you roll a silver dollar over your knuckles. (This also foreshadows his death ... the "ferryman's fee," and the practice of putting silver dollars on a dead man's eyes.)

The guy in the frock coat was rolling a silver dollar across his knuckles.

Now we can set the scene.

The train was going nowhere special, and where I was coming from wasn't anywhere special either.

Action and time, coming up.

I stared out the window into the dark.

Now some dialog.

=================

I can hear you asking, "Uncle Jim, is it true that you do no promotion at all?"

Well, yes and no.

There's this thread, y'see. You all know my name. And anyone who types the words Learn Writing (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=1&pp=25) -- no quotes -- will find this thread on the first page. It was #4 tonight. It's been #1 on some occassions. My very first post here, you'll see a link to my web page.

So that's another thing. My web page. It's been up for years, it lists all my books and where to get 'em, and it has useful stuff. No one is going to go around looking for me -- I'm no one -- but they'll look for useful stuff. So if you type science fiction bookstore (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/bookstor.htm) into Google, one of the top half dozen sites you'll get to (it was #3 as of a couple of minutes ago) is my list of SF/F/H bookstores. In addition to a list of bookstores (I love bookstores -- they sell my books) you'll see some colorful book covers on that page. Those are all links to my books.

Who's visited there?

Web Pages referring to this page within the last 24 hours (min 1 reference):

Google [336]
Yahoo! Search - Web Search [54]
THE TOR BOOKS FAQ [32]
MSN Search: -- More Useful Everyday [6]
Antique Collectible Fantasy Fiction Horror Science [1]
EarthLink Search powered by Google [1]

Do you see the link to the Writer's Weekend (http://www.writersweekend.com/) at the bottom of this post? That's a conference I'm going to, where I'll be a featured speaker. (I've already been to three others this year.)

I've done two book signings this year. One a multi-author thing at a convention, the other a multi-author thing at a bookstore. (They invited me -- in the hour we were there, every copy of one or another of my books in the place sold. No, I didn't count. Who cares?)

I've got the regular writer's workshop (http://www.sff.net/paradise/) I teach in the fall. (Still open if you're planning to apply.)

We've got a LiveJournal (http://www.livejournal.com/users/mist_and_snow/) going for a work in progress.

Many years ago, when I was just beginning one day I visited my publisher, had my editor take me over to the publicity department, and met the head of publicity. I shook his hand, and said, "If there's anything I can do, let me know." He said, "That's what I like to hear."

So, that's what I'm doing for publicity. I've done the tours, I've done the radio stuff, I've had the newspaper articles. Mostly, what I think those things do is give the author something to do with his time so he won't fret.

I'm not having pens with my titles made. I'm not doing bookmarks. I'm not doing postcards. I'm not calling around to bookstores. I'm just here, writing novels, chatting with folks, and getting out into the world once in a while.

====================

I just wanted to say I GOT IT!

Kinda like The Rain in Spain, eh?

(Great musical, and the restored version on the DVD is wonderful.)

================

I plan to toss it in the drawer for a month or so before taking a red pencil to it.

A month minimum. Take the weekend off, then immediately start writing your next book. (That'll help you gain distance, and through distance perspective, on the work in the desk drawer.)

=================

Stronger than love, stronger than hate, stronger than self-preservation, is the desire to mess with someone else's prose.

I'm always careful of doing things with gazes and glances.

Try this:

She looked down, ashamed, as she realized she was still wearing her dirty old clothes.

That does depend on your style, the rhythm of the scene, the character being described. Let everything support the effect.

===================

James D. Macdonald

07-19-2006, 06:04 PM

05/01/05 and following. (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=153&pp=25)

I prefer time to words -- but if you can do five pages (1,250 words) per day, no one will say you're slacking.

==============

The common term is "in-cluing."

==============

I guess I've been influenced by Heinlein too much. He said, "Never revise except by editorial direction." That's probably good advice if you can produce publishable copy in your first draft. I can't.

He didn't mean what you think he meant. Heinlein himself wrote multiple drafts and revised his work until it was a finished piece.

After you send it out, though -- if it comes back with a rejection slip, that doesn't mean "rewrite!" that means "send it right back out!"

After you've gotten the piece to where you want it and you've started the submission process, don't revise unless an editor offers you a contract first. Meanwhile, work on your next book.

===================

I do two hours.

===================

Her eyes flew around the room and landed on the curtains.

==================

Welcome to the Dread Mid-Book, folks. Did you ever wonder why most of the folks who start a novel never finish? You're finding out.

All you can do is slog ahead.

Get a copy of The Unstrung Harp, take a break, read it, then get back to the slog. Put your BIC, and type. Just get it on paper.

You can shape the clay later. First you have to get the clay.

=================

If your book sounds like Atlanta Nights -- keep working. You have some learning to do.

==================

If your reaction to hitting the mid-book is to start a new book (to get that Start Of A Book high) what you'll end up with is a trunkfull of unfinished novels. Is that what you want?

Bull your way through. It's okay to skip ahead and write bits that haven't happened yet. It isn't okay to stop this project. If you feel the need to start a second book -- give it its own BIC time in your day.

===================

If it sounds okay, and you're consistent, why not write in first person for the thoughts?

And yes, use italics for thoughts. Unless you decide to do something different. As long as you're consistent. Don't confuse the readers.

====================

Making the reader feel smart is a good thing.

====================

Change "looking very dangerous" to "glaring."

====================

Works for me. Carry on with your novel.

====================

My goal is to cut 25,000 words out of 125,000. I don't know if I can, but I'm going to try.

Set your wordprocessor to search for "ly" and delete all your -ly words.

Check your wordcount then.

=====================

If, when you've pointed your pistol at the adverb's head and said, "Ask yourself, punk, do you feel lucky?" the poor little word makes a case for its survival, you can let it stay.

Sort of a catch-and-release program.

Everything must advance the plot, support the theme, or reveal character. Those things that only do one of the above ... may find themselves in the Cold Darkness.

==============

It all depends on how important the covert watching is. If it's very important you can write a whole scene showing him watching covertly. If it's not so important, you can say "he watched covertly" and get on to the important stuff.

============

If your novel is about inner states, then by all means write about inner states.

Incidentally -- I use a shaving mug, and got my younger son a shaving mug (with a nice badger-bristle brush) for Christmas.

The rule isn't "show, don't tell, regardless," it's "use the best tools to tell the story."

============

Would it be ok to do something like this?

I don't know why not. Like anything else, it all depends on how well you do it.

Try. If it isn't working, you do something else in the next draft.

Now write your book... you won't know what you have until you reach The End.

=============

At first blush it sounds similar in tone to other "my publisher done me wrong" stories that I've come to view with suspicion.

It's a fact: Bad things happen to good authors. Bad things happen to good books. Don't for a minute think this business is all fun and games and good times.

We don't know all the factors (was his next book part of a series?) or who the publishers were. Given what we know: The author made a good decision. With his editor departing there's a good chance his next book would have taken a hit in any case.

It sounds like the new publisher took a major hit in the Cash-on-Hand sweepstakes when they signed the big name. No one had expected that when they signed "Richard."

Not every bet you make will win. Your job, on the business side of writing, is to make the best bet you can with the information you have.

No one says you have to be a one-publisher author. I publish around. I know that any publisher out there can, at any moment, go crazy, melt down, go into a tailspin, or suddenly decide to switch focus.

As an author, remember what Granny told you: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

=================

When you write a novel, is there a structure one should have in mind? Do you say "okay, I'm not going to exceed x amount of pages, or x amount of chapters, and in so and so chapter that's going to be my middle point, and in this chapter I'm going to have a major plot point, or in this chapter I'm going to reveal this."

Some people certainly do it that way.

Or do you just get to it, and worry about everything else later?

And others do it that way.

"There are nine-and-sixty ways of constructing tribal lays
And every single one of them is right."

-- Rudyard Kipling (In the Neolithic Age)

You'll discover when writing novels that the master rule is "What works for you?"

No one but you reads your first draft.

===============

Everyone here knows how complex the story is.

There is no "right" way or "wrong" way to write. But all this thinking about writing isn't writing.

Here is your assignment: Go to lunch today at a Chinese restaurant. It must be a place with paper placemats.

Order hot and sour soup. (Hot and sour soup is Very Important to the process.)

While eating the hot and sour soup, draw a flowchart for your novel on the back of the placemat. It must all fit on that one placemat.

Take that placemat home with you, and stick it up next to your computer.

Don't post on line anywhere, for any reason, until you've written chapter one.

Then you can come back and tell us how it went.

=================

'Kay, Roger --

I hope that's giving you some insight into your writing.

Next -- look for empty phrases and words. Things that don't move the story forward. What we sometimes call "hesitation marks." "It seemed to him," and "as it were," and "And" or "But."

Eventually you may need to rip out a sub plot.

Or, if everything is a piece of the finished puzzle, no parts left over, no gaps, nothing forced -- you may need to admit that you wrote a 125,000 word book. If that's the case, ship it off and start work on your next.

================

"Skip the boring bits" is excellent advice.

"What with this-and-that some five years passed...."

=============

At some point in the process there's no substitute for standing in your living room and reading the whole thing aloud, beginning to end.

==============

After The Lord of the Rings got to be Very Popular Indeed (right book at the right time at the right place), readers wanted to repeat the experience they got in reading it. (When readers have a good time with a book they will want to have a good time with another, similar book.)

Up until then, Fantasy as we know it now had been an obscure side room on the great hall of mainstream.

Publishers are the readers' servants. Up popped Lynn Carter who edited the Ballantine Adult Fantasy Series, bringing back into print a hundred years' worth of obscure fiction by eccentric Brits. William Morris, E. R. Eddison, Lord Dunsany, all the rest. Robert E. Howard's Depression-era pulp novels were reprinted. All of it sold very well. Before long everything that vaguely fit had been reprinted, and still the market was still calling. When then market starts calling, lots of folks answer. Pretty soon novels were coming out of desk drawers. Then authors started writing original fantasy novels to fill the vacuum. One of those was The Sword of Shanarra, which, while it wasn't very good, scratched the itch that folks who had loved The Lord of the Rings had developed.

Sturgeon's Law applies. We'll see which novels are still in print a hundred years hence.

=================

This was just a general, for-your-additional-entertainment kind of a post. We now return you to your Terry Brooks discussion...

All that's changed is the location of the slush pile. New authors are still coming out of one slush pile or another.

===================

The trip went fine, Liam. I'm looking forward to hearing from your guy.

===================

What's the currently preferred slush pile for an unpublished writer? An agent's or a publisher's?

Why not both? Three and an outline (or whatever the guidelines say) in a pubisher's heap while you're querying the devil out of agents?

And in order to get back on subject, how normal is it to look at your own characters, scenes, plots and ideas and see disturbing connections to other works? Does everyone else look at parts of their work and say, 'Damn. That's a little like such-and-such'?

It's way normal.

==============

So. Mass mailings of query letters to agents simultaneous with one-at-a-time submissions to publishers. I can dig it.

Even if the agents say they accept e-mail, go hard-copy. On nice paper. Signed with ink. In a good envelope. With an SASE.

Research and follow everyone's guidelines exactly, modifying your submission or query as necessary.

Remember the two rules:

Publishers worth submitting to have books you've seen with your own eyes on the shelves of bookstores.
Useful agents have sold books you've heard of.
It's wonderful to give a new fellow a chance, but why should they get their on-the-job training with your book?

================

Guys, go get the following things (all freeware or shareware):

AVG Antivirus (http://www.grisoft.com/)

Popfile Automatic Email Classification (http://popfile.sourceforge.net/)

ZoneAlarm Firewall (http://www.zonelabs.com/)

GRR! (Greyware Registry Rearguard) (http://www.greyware.com/software/grr/)

AdAware SE adware removal (http://www.lavasoftusa.com/software/adaware/)

Spyware Blaster spyware blocker (http://www.javacoolsoftware.com/spywareblaster.html)

Spybot S&D spyware removal (http://www.safer-networking.org/en/)

Microsoft Windows Anti-Spyware (Beta) (http://www.microsoft.com/athome/security/spyware/software/default.mspx)

Run 'em all, keep 'em updated. GRR! especially will help with viruses and trojans that haven't been around long enough to have profiles in the major anti-virus programs. It detects and prevents any unauthorized changes in your Registry files.

=============

Never, ever open or run an unexpected file attached to an email, even if it appears to come from someone you know.

=============

While we're talking Star Wars:

http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20050510

=========

I don't live in the US, so every one page query costs me $3; a synopsis+chapter query costs ~$20, and a full-ms submission costs ~$80.

Is there a publishing industry in the country where you live?

==========

As far as spelling out numbers, the rule is "be consistent."

Whoever you sell the work to will have a house style, and that's the way it'll be printed.

===========

The SASE is only important if you want to hear back.

It's perfectly normal and acceptable to include a letter-sized envelope and state in the cover letter that the manuscript is disposable.

===========

If anyone has any Fantasy/Science Fiction/Horror short stories, previously published, to which you own the audio rights, here's a market:

http://escape.extraneous.org/guidelines/

===========

Maestro is correct. I want the checks to come with my real name on 'em.

Your name isn't secret from your agent and the editor. The name on the cover is a marketing decision.

===========

"An" sounds right because SASE is pronounced ess-aye-ess-ee, and "ess" begins with a vowel.

If you pronounced it "say-see" then "a" would be the indefinite article of choice.

You can do it either way, so long's you stay consistent.

============

I always put the period inside the quotes when ending a sentence.

============

These are all examples of things where, if you sell a story, someone at the publisher's will come by with their house stylebook and make the changes they like.

If either can be correct, choose one and stay consistent. The power of your story is what sells the work. A dull story with perfect punctuation won't sell any faster than a dull story with non-standard punctuation.

=============

Here is a quote from Michael Moschen, perhaps the best contact juggler in the world, one of the most significant jugglers of the 20th century, recipient of a MacArthur Genius Grant:

Moschen tells would-be jugglers that having too many balls in the air can be dangerous, that control is just an illusion. "Try to understand the characteristics of the objects coming at you," he says. "Create a separate flight path for each. Beware of taking the simplest forms for granted, because it's the simplest thing that will be your anchor."

There's wisdom for all of us there.

For "object" read "character" and apply this to your writing.

==============

Those of you who've seen The Labyrinth have seen Mr. Moschen's juggling. (That's him doing the crystal contact-juggling for David Bowie.)

Many years ago, Mr. Moschen self-published a book on contact-juggling. (I know about this because a friend of mine typeset it for him.) You can't find used copies -- because anyone who has one is holding onto it. I know -- I've been looking for years.

That's a perfect self-publishing project. Very specialized non-fiction for a well-defined audience.

==============

In case you don't live with a writer but want to have the experience (http://www.livejournal.com/users/scott_lynch/127371.html).

And a link (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004307.html) from the comments on that page.

==============

Smiles are very important, but the link's been fixed. (Comes from reading/reporting my morning spam while I'm posting here.)

===============

Yet another reason for keeping hard-copy backups and off-site electronic copies of your files. (http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/internet/05/24/internet.ransom.ap/index.html)

==============

'Cause y'all are my friends, here's a source for special graph paper useful for drawing Celtic knotwork. (See up thread for what you can do with Celtic knotwork....)

http://www.incompetech.com/beta/plainGraphPaper/custom/celtic_blue.pdf

===================

Say, how's that pay, anyway?

Better than hardcore nerdporn for elf fetishists. That's a really lousy market. (Too many hatcheck girls.)

(I did, once, see a story that included the startling line, "She had not expected an elf at all, far less an abused one.")

===================

The Too Many Hatcheck Girls joke:

One night the police do a sweep in the red light district and haul in a whole bunch of young ladies. They're taken in to night court, where the judge arraigns each one in turn.

The first one stands up, gives her name and address.

"What do you do for a living?" the judge asks.

"I'm a hatcheck girl."

Second young lady, same deal: "I'm a hatcheck girl."

And so on, through a whole paddywagon's worth of young ladies. Finally, the last one approaches the bench.

"And what do you do for a living?" the judge asks.

"I'm a hooker, your honor," the woman replies.

"Really?" the judge says, perking up to finally have someone tell him the truth. "How's business?"

"Terrible," she says. "Too many hatcheck girls."

==============

The Romance Heroine Rules (http://www.sff.net/people/JenniferCrusie/romantictrivia.html#Rules)

==============

Pointing up the theme is what you do during the second draft editing.

All of your words need to be the right words. All of your words need to advance the plot, reveal character, or support the theme. Better words do two of those things. The best words do all three.

Write your book. (Tell your story. Without story there is no book.)

Read it.

Figure out what the theme is.

While writing your second draft knowing what the theme is will help you decide on the right words. Remove or change those that do not support the theme (if they are not already revealing character or advancing plot).

==================

James D. Macdonald

07-19-2006, 08:55 PM

06/02/05 and following (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=164&pp=25).

Heh. I have some doubt that LOTR would make it out of a slush pile today.

Why not?

It's the sequel to a successful book, and it takes off like a shot. You don't run into any backstory until you hit the Council of Elrond halfway through the first book, and by then you're surrounded by Black Riders, Frodo's been stabbed and nearly died, and you're seriously wondering what's going on.

===============

Here's something worth reading:

http://www.gallup.com/poll/content/?ci=16582

GALLUP NEWS SERVICE

PRINCETON, NJ -- About one in every two Americans is engrossed in some type of book, according to Gallup's latest measure of the public's reading habits. About half of Americans also say they have read more than five books in the past year, not much different from the number reported a decade and a half ago. There is no widespread pattern as to how people select their books -- some choose by the author, others based on recommendations from their friends, and still others by browsing in a bookstore or library.

The poll, conducted May 20-22, finds 47% of adults saying they are presently reading a book, up from 37% who reported that in 1990, and 23% in 1957.

It goes on, in some detail, about reading habits and buying habits of Americans.

If you're in this business as a business, it behooves you to be aware of this stuff.

===============

Question posed to me: Mr. Schneider, when is your next book coming out?

My answer: I have a book, but no publisher.

People who have read my first book, and liked it, are now asking about the next one.

This is normal and to be expected. "I'll let you know when it's coming out" is always a good answer.

Question to you: I will now loose my small but wanting audience before I find publisher?

Nah. They'll still be there.

Question: Be honest about the experience of the first book with other publisher?

Don't fib, but there's no reason to tell them everything you know. Your current book will stand on its own. You don't need to mention your previous book.

Question: Hold them off?

Hold who off? The hordes of zobmis surrounding your house?

Question: Get some printed at Kinkos to keep them happy?

Who, the fans asking about your next book? You could always ask them if they want to be beta readers.

Conundrum 101.

Signed, flapping in the breeze of P.A.

Life's a ***** and then you die.

===============

You've written your second book, right? You're sending it around? Write another book. Keep going.

Nothing about this job is easy. Nothing is sure. We just have to do our best.

=================

IOW, can a first person narrator die at the end without annoying the reader?

It can be done. See, for example, All Quiet on the Western Front.

===============

I think my problem is with urgency, and having everything coming crashing down around the guys ears all at once, reacting quickly.

Use an appropriate level of detail to regulate pace. If he's moving fast he's not noticing the chintz-covered tea cosy.

Find a first-person novel you admire.

Retype a scene that does what you want to do. See how the author did it.

===============

Is it a good idea to mention this (readers asking for more) to an agent or publisher when querying?

What purpose would it serve? "All my friends think it's great" doesn't mean much unless your friends are Tom Clancy and Stephen King.

Readers asking for more should be a mark to you, however, that you're doing something right. Readers, especially if they're total strangers, asking for more is exactly what'll move those books in the bookstores.

===============

Christine is mostly in first person.

=============

Film rights were picked up by Sony.

Good on her!

===============

Most writers won't see that their entire careers.

She may not see it either. When the size of an advance is announced, it includes all the possible escalators. Things like, If it's made into a film, $50K on the day of first principle photography, $50K on the day of release, $100K if it opens in the top five. $100K if it's a Oprah's Book Club selection. $1,000,000 if it spends more than 10 weeks as a #1 New York Times Best Seller. $50K if you appear on Good Morning America.

I'm up to one and a quarter million already there, and not a dime I can take to the bank.

==============

She only promotes books by dead people now, didn't you know? Someone snubbed her or something, and now she doesn't deal with live authors.

That was Jonathan Frazen; the novel was The Corrections.

She doesn't touch fantasy and science fiction in any case, so who cares?

===============

Oh my gods. I just had a Zork-flashback.

You are in a maze of twisty little messageboards, all alike.

===============

(And it's perfectly swell to post a link to Doyle's essay. She wrote it to be read.)

==============

What book am I buying? My giant schnauzer and his lawy...uh, anyway, he wants to know.

Liam's book is OFFSPRING, and the details are here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9861&page=1).

Did everyone go check out the Lulu Experiment (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=215986#post215986)? Book is already up and for sale. I believe it didn't cost Uncle Jim 'one thin dime' either.

Yep. The book is up (http://www.lulu.com/content/132312), cost to me zero, time elapsed about nine hours (much of it spent looking for the software I'd need to create a .pdf and trying to figure out how to use my graphics program), and hacking around. Also: supper. And chatting with a friend. It should go quicker next time, if there is a next time.

NOTE: I don't recommend self-publishing to anyone outside of very narrowly defined areas. Specialized non-fiction, niche fiction, poetry. Anything where you know the audience pretty much by name or expect to be looking them in the eye. A defined audience that you can get to is the baseline sine qua non.

This was an experiment, using a public domain text.

===============

I skimmed it in a bookstore. It looks amusing enough, but doesn't look like a how-to if your problem is that you don't have a plot.

(If that is your problem, go here: The Evil Overlord Plot Generator (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/2002_06.html#000290).)

================

Do the readers care about the character?

=============

You can always bring the character back in another book, but with a different name and a wig.

===============

Then do whatever is best for your story.

====================

When you kill characters ... it's okay. It's like in the movies -- when they kill a character they don't kill the actor. He can appear in another film.

===================

While no one has managed to define Science Fiction or Fantasy ... RWA has defined Romance. Here it is:

http://www.rwanational.org/press_releases/rwa_defines_romance.htm

RWA Defines the Romance Novel

(HOUSTON, TX) -- Romance Writers of America has outlined two elements -- a central love story and an emotionally satisfying ending -- as the crux of their association’s official definition of a romance novel.

"There’s no doubt about it, when you call a book a ‘romance’ it gets attention," says RWA President Tara Taylor Quinn. "But there are so many books promoted as ‘romances’ or ‘love stories,’ readers, writers and reporters who are considering our industry statistics are confused as to what we mean. We see new titles released every month -- from non-fiction how-to manuals to women’s fiction -- that are being touted as ‘a new romance’ or a ‘timeless love story.’ Only a percentage are actually romances. Many ‘relationship’ novels come close to being a romance in our sense of the word, but in the end they don’t meet the expectations our readers hold about the genre of romance. They are not the same, and it’s confusing.

"In short, we found ourselves needing to officially define what a romance novel really is," Quinn says.

According to RWA’s official definition, a romance is a book wherein the love story is the main focus of the novel, and the end of the book is emotionally satisfying.

Jennifer Crusie, a best-selling romance author and member of the RWA committee that wrote the official definition, says the central-love-story aspect of the definition means "the main plot of the romance must concern two people falling in love and struggling to make the relationship work.

"The conflict in the book centers on the love story.

"The climax in the book resolves the love story.

"A writer is welcome to as many subplots as she likes as long as the relationship conflict is the main story," says Crusie.

This aspect of the definition rules out books that contain a romance subplot, but a main focus of -- just to name a few -- mystery, social or business struggle of some sort, or intrigue. A true romance novel must have the love story as the main focus of the book. Things like mystery, intrigue, and other action may, and often do, appear as secondary plots in romance novels.

"Romance novels end in a way that makes the reader feel good," says Crusie of the second aspect of the romance-novel definition, the emotionally optimistic ending. "Romance novels are based on the idea of an innate emotional justice -- the notion that good people in the world are rewarded and evil people are punished. In a romance, the lovers who risk and struggle for each other and their relationship are rewarded with emotional justice and unconditional love," Crusie says.

This part of the definition excludes the type of novels that are most often incorrectly considered to be romances: love stories with unhappy endings. Bittersweet endings, like the conclusion to the love story in the film Titanic, for example, or the end of the novel Bridges of Madison County, prevent otherwise love-story focused books from being true romances.

"RWA established a simple and straight forward acid test for classifying a book as a popular romance novel. Our central-love-story/emotionally-satisfying-ending criteria will allow writers, readers, and other interested parties to fully understand what RWA means when it discusses ‘the romance novel,’ and all the statistics and demographics that refer to it," Quinn says.

The members of Romance Writers of America -- an 9,000-member strong writers association -- write the romance novels that represent 55% of all mass-market paperback fiction purchased in the United States, and that generate $1 billion per year in sales.

Just so you know.

================

Kate -- go, even if you don't pitch anything. Keep your eyes and ears open. Be the best listener in the room.

Why would you want to cut yourself off from your colleagues, from networking and information?

================

Since you mention Tor and the BEA, here's an After Action Report (complete with Giant Weiner costume).

http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006391.html#006391

===============

When I said I had written one, she asked me to send it to her -- Requested by her! WHOOPEEE!

I presume you've aready sent off the manuscript, with the cover letter quoting this conversation, yes?

============

Now the agony begins!

No, my friend. Now you forget all about that manuscript and start writing your next book.

(If you haven't already compiled a list of which agents you'd like to be represented by, though, now's the time....)

===========

Oh, and another question. Assuming I have an offer from the publisher (a big if), is it appropriate to call agents? Or should I write letters with a SASE and all? What about email?

Thanks.

Beware pique. It doesn't have a place in this business.

And yes, when you get an offer, then a telephone call is appropriate.

Start with the best on your list, even if they already told you "not interested." You've just gone into a new inning.

=============

It's just that I can't help but slip in a paragraph of seemingly (in your eyes) unnecessary description every now and then.

Are the readers likely to skim it?

===============

Story is a force of nature. It trumps everything.

===============

As I've been re-reading my favorites lately, I've come to the conclusion that successful books written only a few decades ago couldn't make it off a slush pile these days.

You keep hearing that sort of thing, but I'm not certain that I believe it.

More titles were published last year in America than were published in the first ten years of twentieth century -- in the world.

Styles go in and out of fashions -- but stories, the baseline, are eternal.

==============

Another advantage of handwriting is that it's tougher to go back and re-write yesterday's writing rather than moving forward.

Do I have an endpoint in mind when I start a book? Sure. Do I always get to the climax I had in mind? Nope.

Is possible that I don't know the climax and I'm just using this as a method of coming up with characters? Sure, that's possible.

See also the discussion of positional chess as a method of plotting.

=================

You're quite welcome.

It's common for writers to help other writers and to help folks who want to be authors. We know where we came from and remember those who helped us.

Being a writer means you have homework every day for the rest of your life. It's easier with a study-buddy.

================

I just have this fear that if the wordsmithing doesn't perfectly conform to the current fashion, editors never get far enough through the submission to see enough story to impress them.

Write what you love; write what excites you. If you don't, I'll bet you a box of donuts that no one else will love your book or be excited by it.

The current fashion is a moving target. The books being written today are the ones that will be setting "the current fashion" four years from now.

=================

Welcome, Tim. Best of luck with your submissions.

=================

Dialog! Woo hoo!

We've probably discussed it, but that doesn't mean we can't do it again.

First off -- using adverbs puts us in severe danger of creating unintentional humor: "My headache is gone," Tom said absentmindedly. "The prisoners are coming down the stairs," Tom said condescendingly. "I love hotdogs!" Mandy said with relish.

These are referred to as Tom Swifties.

Use of words other than 'said' to mean 'said' can get ridiculous, especially if overdone. "What?" he bellowed. "No one's here," he gritted. "The villain has departed," he hissed.

These are called Said Bookisms.

"Said" is an invisible word. You can use it as much as you like and no one will notice it. Not that you have to use it all the time. Especially if you only have two people talking you don't need to put "he said" or "she said" after every sentence. Sprinkle 'em in to keep folks straight so they don't have to flip back two pages and count lines to tell who's talking.

Ideally your charaters should have voices that are different enough that the readers will be able to identify them from their dialog without any tags at all.

Like anything else in your Author's Toolkit you can use Said Bookisms or Tom Swifties or Stage Directions when they're necessary.

Spices make the food tastier; too much spice makes diner inedible.

Observe how your favorite author handles dialog tags. Go and do likewise.

==============

UOr another Scot-American writer with the good fortune of your last name?

John D. is (or was -- he's dead now) another and far better writer than me.

================

For dialog tags: Don't confuse the readers. The tags are there to keep the readers from getting confused. Don't annoy or distract the readers. Anything else you do is part of the art. Play around and see what works.

==============

Here's one of our stories, in audio format: http://escape.extraneous.org/2005/06/16/ep006-jenny-nettles/

==============

Uncle Jim,

What are the benefits of writing a series such as your Mageworld's.

Each volume has a built-in audience. Each new reader will seek out earlier volumes.

How do publishers see a series? Do they prefer series over single novels?

All depends. What it depends on is how well the first one does. Series have upsides, but also downsides. It might happen that however many read the first volume, that's how many readers you'll have for the full run. Some books also are clearly stand-alone. Some form loose series -- books about the same characters in the same setting, but don't require that the reader have read previous volumes in order to be up to speed on the plot and characters.

Don't second-guess yourself here. Write the book you want to write and let it be what it is.

***

So, tell me see if I have this correct.

I shop a novel to the appropriate company.

I write the next one, which, I put in the in the drawer when finished for a few months before re-working it.

I write the next one, re-work and send the second, keep sending the first around, and so on?

Yep, that's pretty much it. Unless the second book you've written is the second in a series. In that case, just keep it in your desk drawer until the first one sells.

===============

Ah, the seven-point plot outline! (Not to be confused with the three point plot outline.)

It works for the stories that follow the seven-point plot outline. It doesn't work for the rest. (Which is to say that I'm not a big fan of this particular Procrustean bed.)

Advantages of the seven-point plot outline:

It's easy to teach.
It gives the writer something definite to do.

Disadvantages:

You wind up with a story that follows the seven-point plot outline just like 4,529 of the other stories that hit Asimov's mailbox this month.

================

If it helps you get words on paper, follow it. Else, don't.

================

The three-point plot outline:

1) Get the hero up a tree.

2) Throw rocks at him.

3) Get the hero out of the tree.

================

Do people really go through a paintaking process of outlining chapters and making the process of writing a job, instead of the joy of something they love to do?

Some people do. It works for them. They enjoy doing it that way.

It's been entirely too long since I handed out an assignment. Memorize The Walrus and the Carpenter. Memorize the Death of Kings from Richard II. Okay, here's the next:

Memorize, and be prepared to recite from memory, "In the Neolithic Age" (http://whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/words/authors/K/KiplingRudyard/verse/volumeXI/neolithicage.html) by Rudyard Kipling.

I promise you that this will improve your writing.

=============

Here's my take on the ellipsis v. em-dash discussion:

1) Don't confuse your readers.

2) Be consistent.

(Point 2 may actually be a subset of point 1.)

If the place that buys your book has a house style, they'll follow it. If you have strong objections to the style, discuss it with your editor.

If you disagree with the Chicago Manual of Style, take a pen and correct the book. First, however, you have to read the Chicago Manual so you know what's in it. Understand why you agree or disagree with any of their suggestions. (And anything they have is, in truth, just a suggestion.)

The only rule is: Don't bore your reader.

===============

Traill was most likely H. D. Traill, editor of Literature, a weekly review.

Other vocabulary: Dwerg: dwarf.
Solutré, Crenelle: French prehistoric sites.
Allobrogenses: ancient Gallic tribe.
Kew, Clapham: London suburbs.
Khatmandhu: capital of Nepal.
Martaban: town in Burma.

Being a writer means you have homework every day. Words are your tools. History is your secret weapon. Read something every day. Write something every day.

This is no easy art.

===============

Traditionally the author's rights as far as cover art consist of bitching about it.

In practical terms, publishers have art departments that work closely with the marketing folks to come up with a cover that will tell the readers "This is the kind of book you're looking for."

Covers aren't meant to be illustrations. They're meant to be point-of-purchase advertisements.

Don't think that the austere black-and-white cover of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1582344167/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) is an exception, either. It has the crow graphic, and the typography is distinctive (and undoubtedly hand drawn). That cover too gives you a feel for what the novel will feel like.

Authors can get "cover consultation" in their contracts fairly easily. It's cover approval that's hard to get.

The publisher can easily pay as much for the cover as they do for the novel itself. That's how important covers are.

=============

The purpose of the book's cover is to say "This is the kind of book you like if you like books like this."

If some group doesn't like books that have dragons on the cover and won't buy them, then putting dragons on the cover serves both them and the author.

Would it be better that they buy the book, not like it, and never buy another book by that author? I don't think so.

==============

It's still two to three times as much as freelance slush readers make.

================

The question is whether the potty break advances the plot, reveals character, or supports the theme.

Dutch Shultz undoubtedly went to the bathroom many times in his life. The only time worth mentioning was one night at the Palace Chop House and Tavern in Newark, New Jersey.

===================

It only matters if it matters to your readers.

==============

This is an art, not a science. We do not measure our works with tape measure and stopwatch, saying "Ah, 10,000 words have passed, time to change POV!"

----

Many years ago I wrote a Spider-Man book. In this book, Spider-Man and Venom (Eddie Brock) drink a lot of coffee. (This book was written in one week -- art imitates life.)

At one point in a fight scene, Spider-Man said, "Wait up a minute -- I have to pee." To this, Venom replied, snarling, "Piss in your pants, Pete. It's what I do." (Since Venom wears a biogenic suit, this is actually a reasonable thing for him to do. It's also a reasonable thing for him to say since Eddie Brock knows Spider-Man's secret identity, and loathes him.)

Alas, the editor didn't let me keep it.

====

While bowels do generally unstop some time after death, smells and sounds and such are reasonable things to mention. But the time can be up to some hours later ... so it's not always necessary to mention.

============

Everyone, if the board is suddenly unreadable, switch to "linear mode" in "Display modes" (link at the right end of the blue bar, top of the page).

Threaded mode just plain doesn't work.

============

Bullets are funny things. So are human bodies. They both surprise you.

Also -- an awful lot of AK ammo is old, or was manufactured with a bit less quality control than you might like. Some of it is likely underpowered.

=============

A compelling query?

Keep it to one page. Two at most.

Beyond that ... there's not much I can say other than spell the agent's name right, and watch your grammar and spelling.

===============

Drop a third or half-way down the page. Chapter number or title centered, drop another couple of lines, then start the first paragraph.

Meanwhile: a nice review of an older book: http://www.livejournal.com/users/blackhanddpants/4107.html

===============

Has anybody here ever done anything like that?

Happens all the darned time. Editor at Publisher A gets a cover letter addressed to Editor at Publisher B. Or the body of the cover letter talks about how the author always wanted to be published by Publisher C when the editor reading the letter is working for Publisher D.

Always check and doublecheck the names before you send something out.

===============

Times New Roman may be right but Courier 10 is never wrong. (Unless the guidelines say so.)

===============

What Publishing Is: http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006479.html#006479

===============

If you can do it in one page, do it in one page. If it takes five to ten pages to write your synopsis, take them.

You aren't providing a chapter-by-chapter breakdown, just a description of your story, including the climax.

=================

Making the synopsis fun to read should be on your list, yes. It should read like a story, not a school assignment.

Meanwhile ----

I posted this down in the Bewares board, but not everyone reads there, so I'll put this here:

Ms. Schwartz [Mary Louise Schwartz of the Belfrey Literary Agency] was at Writers' Weekend, as was I. I attended one of her panels and spoke with her briefly afterward.

On the e-mail issue -- apparently when the word got out that she was accepting email subs, the response from writers crashed her ISP's server. So ... if you've been waiting for a while, you might re-submit.

Second, she told a funny story. She got a manuscript by email. She read it. She loved it. She called an editor she knew and described it. He said, "Send it right over!" Alas, the writer had not included his/her name or contact information on the manuscript, and it had gotten separated from the cover letter (perhaps lost in the server crash?)

So there she sits, with what she thinks is a sure sale on her hands, unable to do anything with it.

==========

If that's your manuscript that you forgot to put your name on ... well.

=============

That's the kind of story that makes a writer want to weep!

That's the kind of story that makes editors and agents say "Remember that 'running head' thing we keep talking about? Ever wonder why?"

Guys, go to your manuscripts right now and put your name, address, email, and phone number on the first page. Put your name in the running head. It's okay -- I'll wait 'til you get back.

---------------

And if you are that author, or know that author ... Ms. Schwartz wants to hear from you with your name and address.

=============

Oh my god! that's NOT funny! Can't she reply to the mail, or did she delete it?

The attachment was apparently saved separately from the mail (some email programs do this) and the cover letter (if there was one) got separated/lost. It happens with streetmail too. She seems to have lost a lot of mail to server issues (and doesn't strike me as being a computer power-user).

I suggested that she Google on the title of the book and her own name, to see if the author mentioned sending it, and Google on unique phrases from the first chapter to see if the author workshopped it somewhere, but those are both longshots.

=============

"Reply all" has done more damage than you might imagine.

-------------------

"Funny" doesn't always mean "humorous." It can also mean odd, queer, or unsettling.

Q. Why didn't the cannibal eat the clown?

A. He tasted funny.

===============

Researching the historical novel (http://www.shellythacker.com/researching.htm)

==========

Sell just the one book. That book needs to have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

If that first book doesn't sell it won't have any sequels.

===========

Story can be brief (http://www.seashanty.org/telltale/).

===========

For any novel you can assume that the world existed before the action of the book started, and the world continued after the climax of the book ended.

===========

Presumably if you'd been able to tell the story in less than 800 pages you would have done so.

That being said, what you've told me about your synopsis may point to a problem area or two in the overall novel.

===========

...i had to kind of introduce some of the action in the back story in order to make the plot not confusing.

If you need the backstory to have the plot make sense there's a chance you're starting the story at the wrong point.

I don't know -- I haven't read your book.

===============

James D. Macdonald

07-19-2006, 10:10 PM

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=180&pp=25

For an easy example, the Harry Potter series not only follows Harry, but also the past lives of his teachers and his parents as he goes along. The more we learn about the backstory, the more we learn about Harry.

I would tend to disagree. We do learn about past events, but they aren't driving the story. Also: The series begins with Harry, still an infant, being delivered to the Dursleys moments after Voldemort's final attack on his parents.

The entire backstory can be compressed into one line: The wizarding community has been immersed in a civil war.

That war might have continued indefinitely. The event that changes everything is the one that starts the first book: Harry survives.

================

Betcha some of the backstory revelations in Harry Potter came about like this:

JKR: [type type type]

JKR: Oh <bleep>! Harry's dead for sure this time. No way can he survive that.

JKR:

JKR: Ah ha! I know! His scar will protect him!

JKR: [type type type]

===========

This is a lovely holiday weekend (Independence Day in the United States, Canada Day in Guess Where.)

But, you're all writers! That means "No Time Off For You, Bucky!"

So: Next assignments:

First: Rent Secret Garden on DVD. (It's about a writer.) Watch it. Very good. Now watch the short feature with the director's comments on why he made the decisions he did. (Pay particular attention to his remarks about the strength of the characters.) Now watch the deleted scenes, with the director's comments turned on. Why were they deleted? Did he make the right decisions?

Next assignment:

Rent Princess Diaries II and Resident Evil II. Watch them back-to-back. Popcorn is allowed. Taking a break between them isn't. Your assignment is to combine them into a single story: Anne Hathaway wakes up in the palace in Gevalia to discover that all her happy subjects have been turned into flesh-eating zombies. She must rescue Julie Andrews and shoot her way out before the United States nukes the country. You're aiming for thirty to forty manuscript pages with a beginning, a middle, and an end. (Alternatively: Milla Jovovich wakes up in a hospital to discover that she has to choose which of two young men to marry in just thirty days. Or some other mix-n-match combo.) You must file off the serial numbers by removing all trademarked and copyrighted elements from the finished piece.

Extra points to anyone who files off those serial numbers so well that no one reading the story would suspect it came from this assignment. Even more points to anyone who's gutsy enough to submit the result to a paying market.

=================

1) It's improving your strategizing skills

2) There's an ah-ha! moment in your future

3) At the very least your chess game should have improved.

What the point is: Just as putting a knight on King's Bishop Three is the strongest position for that piece, and the chess master instinctively knows to develop the piece there -- in the same way the writer knows that giving his detective just forty-eight hours to crack the case puts that character in an interesting position.

Put interesting characters in interesting positions and plot will develop. Later, surprising combinations will arise -- not necessarily because you plotted them out in advance, but because they flow naturally from the groundwork you've already done. The Sorting Hat couldn't have provided a sword in the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets if the Sorting Hat hadn't been put into play and established as magical in Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone.

As you gain practice as a writer you'll learn how to put interesting characters into interesting places -- even if you don't know how things will work out later.

==================

The real rule is: The prose must be workmanlike or better.

Strong story will get you through weak prose better than strong prose will get you through weak story.

========

To the question of why the editor didn't remove the -ly and -ing words... perhaps the editor would say, "You should have seen it before." If your story grabs the reader and makes him read all the pages one after another your prose can be the dullest stuff imaginable.

Me, I know that I'm not a genius so I make the parts that I can make strong stronger still, to make up for deficiencies elsewhere.

==========

I am suddenly filled with the desire to write a story that incorporates every one of those evil metaphors and phrases. This could be particulalry amusing if at least one word in each phrase was being used in a different way than usual. "Dog" as a verb. "Pole" as a gentleman from Poland. And so on.

===========

The average YA novel?

Beats heck out of me. Probably 40K-60K.

Check the particular publisher's guidelines.

==========

Sean, finish it. After that, while you're starting your next book, you can decide whether it belongs in your closet or the mailbox.

I'm a believer in finishing works. How else do you learn how to write endings?

===========

Can't say I agree with this of Heinlein's rules:
You Must Refrain From Rewriting, Except to Editorial Order

He's talking about after you send it out. How many times have you run into people who rewrite a piece every time they get a rejection slip? Too many times, right?

After you've sent out a work, forget it. Every time it comes back, send it out again the same day. The only time you should rewrite is if someone says "I'll buy this if you make the following changes...." Otherwise work on your next book.

==============

I figure that if they aren't willing to back up their suggestions with their checkbook that they're just one more opinion and my opinion trumps theirs.

==============

Orwell's rule

Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

is similar in intent to Rule 2 of COLREGS 1972 (International Rules For Preventing Collision At Sea, aka the Rules of the Road):

[b]Rule 2 Responsibility
(a) Nothing in these Rules shall exonerate any vessel, or the owner, master, or crew thereof, from the consequences of any neglect to comply with these Rules or of the neglect of any precaution which may be required by the ordinary practice of seamen, or by the special circumstances of the case.
(b) In construing and complying with these Rules due regard shall be had to all dangers of navigation and collision and to any special circumstances, including the limitations of the vessels involved, which may make a departure from these Rules necessary to avoid immediate danger.

That's the General Prudential Rule or the Rule of Good Seamanship: You should follow the rules at all times, unless following the rules would result in a collision; at that time you are required to break the rules.

The rules of writing are all very well and will keep you out of trouble most of the time, but you'll break those rules if you must to avoid the literary equivalent of a collision at sea.

=============

Can you provide some examples of how I can bring my readers closer?

Not easily. I'd suggest you go to your bookshelf and analyse how other writers have done the trick in book-length works.

(One possiblity -- give them something they want that isn't directly tied to the plot of the book, but is tied to the theme.)

==============

It may be that going from a bio to a character is dry, and the bios themselves are flawed.

Try writing the book, then write the characters' bios from the people they turned out to be -- then use those to go back and ensure consistency.

================

Use bios if they work for you. Otherwise don't.

Some people cast horoscopes for their characters. Other read Tarot cards. Myself, I take filecards (one per character) and write details about the character on 'em as I learn more about the person in the writing of the book.

=================

What vocabularly is appropriate -- and which words your readers do know, should know, or ought to know -- are a cursed subject.

There's been a long-standing joke about finding and stealing Stephen R. Donaldson's dictionary.

Some authors (Lord Dunsany, for example) deliberately use archaic words. (This has been going on for a thousand years at least -- one of the early Arthurian works uses only words of Anglo-saxon origin rather than French.)

The meaning of a word should be reinforced by context. Nothing relieves you of the obligation to choose the right word with the exact meaning you intend.

=============

You use as many filecards per character as necessary.

=============

A good thread, recently dredged from the depths in the Bewares Board: Agents Charging Fees (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=978&page=1&pp=25)

==============

If you haven't had a beta reader (someone who can be brutally honest) read your book, yes, now's the time.

And, after two years of rewriting, now might be the time to start your next book.

I congratulate you on your earlier publication. All you really need is to work on the slightly different skillset you'll need for novels intended for adults. I wouldn't neglect YA while all this is going on, though.

===============

Those YAs -- I presume they've reverted? Did they have decent sales figures?

================

My original editor (only on the first book) was Melanie Kroupa, who has her own line of books at Farrar Strauss now.

Are you agented?

This might be time to get in touch with Ms. Kroupa (assuming you had a decent relationship with her).

==============

See if she's interested in reprint rights.

==============

If I were in your position, Ken, I'd write a new, better, different book. That is to say, choice 3.

Meanwhile:

Fame, sweet fame!

http://www.businessweek.com/the_thread/blogspotting/archives/2005/07/out_of_the_dark.html

Sorta. I'm almost kinda mentioned by BusinessWeek. Now to see if maybe next time they'll spell my name right.

=============

Rather than saying "beta reader" say "focus group" or "test audience" if it helps explain the concept better.

The question is "Yes, but does the novel work?" You'll know it's working when the beta readers start handing copies to their friends and begging you for more.

A high bar? Sure. Publishing in general has a high bar.

There's a discussion happening right now in the Children's board here at AW about the Delacourt contest (for first YA novels). Some folks won't submit because some years Delacourt doesn't select anyone at all. (There's no entry fee, BTW -- it's a chance to have your book read even if you don't have an agent.)

I find it entirely reasonable that some years they don't find any manuscripts that meet their needs. That isn't to say the books are crap -- only that they don't meet that publisher's needs.

================

Mainstream, contemporary, and literary are all marketing categories. What a book is called depends on how the marketing folks think it will sell better.

================

Even better, a fictitious group will stop your story from dating.

It's okay for your stories to date, but they shouldn't go all the way. Be back by midnight, drive safe and have fun, kids.

==============

"I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

He said, "Like what?"

I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?"

He said, "Religious."

I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

He said, "Christian."

I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?"

He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist church of god or Baptist church of the lord?"

He said, "Baptist church of god!"

I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist church of god, or are you reformed Baptist church of god?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist church of god!"

I said, "Me too! Are you reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!"

I said, "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off."

-- EMO PHILIPS (http://www.emophillips.com/)

==================

What you need to do is make BIC time for both writing the new and editing the old. The process will make you a stronger writer.

Tomorrow's Saturday. Take the manuscript that's been sitting in the desk drawer, take the day, and read it straight through as if you were someone who'd picked it up in a bookshop. If something positively glares at you ... you're allowed to put a red mark beside it in the margin. Otherwise, just do a cold read-through.

That'll give you an idea of where you stand.

================

JUNIUS BROWN THE TRAGEDIAN, or "NO MATTER!"

I'm an actor who's seen better days,
For I once was a star I've a notion;
I've been toss'd about all sorts of ways
Upon the theatrical ocean.
But jealousy, spite and all that
Has brought me down to but a seedy 'un
It's been all caused by envy -- that's flat
For I once was a heavy tragedian.

CHORUS:
I've been a bright star in my time,
Though now I'm reduced to a seedy 'un;
In me you may please to behold --
Junius Brown the Tragedian.

You have all seen my name in the bills,
Which is Junius Antonius Brown, sirs;
And I flatter myself to have caused --
Great excitment in many a town, sirs;
My last 'shop' was the Garrick, Whitechapel;
In a 'part' that I could above any fit,
My 'screw' sirs, for only six nights
Was two pounds and a half a clear benefit.

SPOKEN: That was money, but what do they offer talent now! I was actually offered the other day twenty-five 'bob' per week to play Othello, the Clown in the Pantomime, and do bill-sticking in the mornings. Did I accept it? Blood and blue fire! Never! NEVER! but no matter, a time may come when they will be glad to secure the services of Brown the Tragedian.

CHORUS:
I've been a bright star in my time,
Though now I'm reduced to a seedy 'un;
In me you may please to behold --
Junius Brown the Tragedian.

Since Kemble none like me's been seen,
Yet nought but bad luck is my portion;
My friends say I'm better than Kean,
That my 'Richard' and "Hamlet's' a caution.
They say my declaiming's a treat --
In the speech over Caesar by Antony;
I can do the soft parts low and sweet,
Likewise I can 'pile up the agony.'

SPOKEN: For two consecutive weeks was I the leading attraction at the Royal Bower, and should have startled the world at Drury Lane; but for professional malice. I am kept off the boards out of fear. They know I should render Shakespeare's great characters as they have never been rendered before. My reading of his plays is entirely different to Macready, Kean, Phelps, T. C. King, and all those fellows, -- They know that, -- but no matter, a time may come when they will cringe to Brown the Tragedian.

CHORUS:
I've been a bright star in my time,
Though now I'm reduced to a seedy 'un;
In me you may please to behold --
Junius Brown the Tragedian.

I search through the 'Era' each week
And I 'write in' when talent's required,
But they say they don't know me (there's cheek
Of such insults and envy I'm tired.)
They offer me terms for a 'super,'
Or ask if I'm up to 'utility.'
But I'll starve and remain as I am --
An artiste of wondrous ability.

SPOKEN: Me, ME! Junius Antonius Brown descend to do the cock in Hamlet, or Bobby in the Pantomime. Ye Gods and small fishes! Rather would I descend from my pedestal of fame and become a comic vocalist. But no matter! NO MATTER!! The time may come when they will be glad to pile gold at the feet of Brown the Tragedian.

CHORUS:
I've been a bright star in my time,
Though now I'm reduced to a seedy 'un;
In me you may please to behold --
Junius Brown the Tragedian.

====================

Brown the Tragedian (No Matter!) as sung with great success by Arthur Lloyd. Copyright July 3rd, 1870.

====================

James D. Macdonald

07-19-2006, 11:46 PM

08/01/05 and following (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=185&pp=25).

Not quite yet for the betas, Changling, unless you really want to. Now make sure the opening is the absolutely perfect opening for this book. Make sure the climax is the absolutely perfect climax.

Are all the scenes there? Are any scenes that you don't need present?

Then go through, not as a reader, but as an editor. Hold a pistol to each word and ask "Are you the perfect word?" Ask the adjectives to justify their existence. Is anything vague? Are all the descriptions fresh, and spot on?

I know some writers who re-type the whole work from scratch at this point. They figure that if a paragraph isn't worth retyping, it isn't worth reading.

====================

That being said, should I still practice my editing skills on this first version? Is it worth that kind of work if I am certain the current story will never be publishable?

If you don't practice your editing skills, how will you ever obtain them?

================

Minor brag on one of my students here:

http://www.reflectionsedge.com/archives/aug2005/d_ss.html

===================

Here are some other works by Viable Paradise students:

http://www.sff.net/people/greg/vppubs.html

==================

whew. 2.5 years of hard work, packed up and gone...

Now start your next novel.

Today.

Yes, really.

-----------

Meanwhile, on the em-dash question: As long as you're consistent and don't confuse the readers ... you can go with anything you want. Really. Go look at Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier for some bizarre punctuation if you don't believe me.

It's just that the farther outside of normal (for some values of "normal") you get, the farther over into the genius range (for some values of "genius") you have to be.

===========

The Unstrung Harp (http://www.infinity-bound.net/TUH/tuh00.html).

(http://www.addall.com/New/BestSeller.cgi?isbn=0151004358&dispCurr=USD) And buy a copy, too. (http://www.addall.com/New/BestSeller.cgi?isbn=0151004358&dispCurr=USD)

============

Personally I wouldn't include recommendations from other writers unless a) the writers were clients of that agent, or b) were so famous as to need no introduction. If Kurt Vonnegut said that my book was really swell, I'd mention it.

Use your best judgement and know that there isn't a right answer to that question.

==============

Thank you for your kind comments, Mark.

==============

That's pretty much it, Mark. A book that isn't written is never sold and never read.

============

Pretty soon now I'm going to drop back to Page 105 and look at some more of those samples, to see what the authors were doing.

==========

Publishers Weekly, and your contacts in the industry.

============

I look for an person who will give detailed, no-holds-barred honest feedback. "I liked it" isn't good enough, nor is "It sucked."

============

Someone else once said that the ideal beta reader is a highly intelligent but dirty-minded twelve-year-old.

============

Woo! Go me!

Next words of advice: Write a book a year.

============

The question is probably going to come up, so I might as well explain it now.

When a normal publisher publishes a book, and it's offered for sale through bookstores, that book isn't really sold until it goes out the door under a customer's arm. The other books are returned, to make way for still newer releases.

So ... how does the publisher handle paying royalties when the publisher doesn't know how many will come back to the warehouse?

This is handled with a process called "reserve against returns." The reserve is the number that you don't get paid for, just in case they come back.

Publishers don't tell you exactly what their reserves are -- but as it happens I know at least one publisher uses this formula:

The first royalty period after the book is released, the reserve against returns is 100%. Maybe they printed 30,000 copies, and maybe bookstores ordered 20,000 of them -- but they aren't going to cut a check to you for royalties on 20,000 copies. They assume that ever single one of them will be returned.

Let's say that royalty months are April and November (which again is pretty standard). Let's say the book came out in July, that the cover price is $10, and the royalty rate is 10%. And let's say the author get a $5,000 advance against 10%. (I'm choosing these numbers for ease of math, not because they're necessarily real.)

And let's say that 10,000 copies sold (actually went out the door with customers, 50% sell-through) of the 20,000 that shipped.

Right, then.

Comes November, and those 10,000 copies would be a $5,000 check for Joe Author ($10,000 in royalties minus the $5,000 advance) but he gets a royalty statement showing $0.00 due, because of the reserve against returns.

At this particular publisher the reserve against returns is 100% in the first royalty period, and 75% in the second. And let's say that another 5,000 copies of Joe's book sold in the six months from November through April. So ... Joe would have $15K coming, but .... reserve against returns is 75%, so only $3,750 is credited to him. Subtract that from the advance, and his royalty statement says that he still has $1,250 in unearned advance.

From May through October, books get returned by one bookstore, ordered by another, and an additional 5,000 that have gone out the bookstore door in a shopping bag.

Total actually sold, to date: 20,000. This time around the publisher's reserve against returns is 25%. 25% of 20,000 is 5,000 books. So the publisher only reports a total to date of 15,000 sold, for total royalties of $15,000, minus the $3,750 already credited to him, minus the $1,250 in unearned advance, so Joe gets a check for $10,000. Happy day! He's earned out!

Now in the fourth royalty period after the book came out, the reserve against returns is 0%. Books have gone out, been returned, been redistributed, sold, and another 5,000 have been bought and paid for by readers.

So far: 25,000 sold. Royalties due, $25,000. Finally, we've gotten out from under the dead horse. In April two years after his book came out, Joe Author gets paid $25,000 minus the $10,000 he was already paid, for a nice $15,000 royalty check.

After this, the reserve against returns continues at 0% -- if 5,000 books ship during those six months, the publisher pays royalties for 5,000. (And by this point they have a pretty fair idea of how many will sell, because they have a history, and at this point, with 25,000 sold out of an initial press run of 30,000 they'll probably have gone back to press. Do you know what a 100% sell-through means? It means the publisher didn't print enough copies.)

So, reserve against returns at this one publisher: 100%, 75%, 25%, 0%. It takes you two solid years to get to the place where you're getting royalties as they happen. Normally, since you got an advance, this isn't that major a problem. You're living off the advance while the reserve against returns is catching up. It protects the publisher, and you do want to protect the publisher: If they stay in business that means they'll buy more of your books.

(Among other unrealistic things in this story: I set the advance low for a book that was going to sell those numbers. I wanted to show a book earning out because I'm a sucker for happy endings.)

===============

Hardcover novels don't go above $28.00, generally speaking, because the public won't buy them. Not even from authors they know and like. Because the public won't buy them, the bookstores won't stock them. The bookstores will fill that same rack space with a book that will sell.

A newer author with a long book -- won't get bought, generally, if the printing costs for the print run that a new author is likely to get would push the retail price above $28.00. Grisham can do it because his books sell well enough that the publisher can print a ton and a half of them, and push the per-unit printing price down.

(How far down? Far enough down that the bookstore can get the book at a 65% discount, and the publisher can still make money. That's how you see Times Best Sellers in bookstores discounted by 50%, and the bookstore still makes money. Don't worry about Grisham, though -- he's still getting his royalty based on the whole $27.95 cover price.)

There's the genius exception: Susanna Clarke's debut novel, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, is a hefty 800 pages. Notice, please, that the cover price is $27.95. Notice too that Bloomsbury marketed the heck out of that novel, in an attempt to ship as many copies as they had printed, because they had to print a heck of a lot to make that price. Notice also that Ms. Clarke's book, in trade paperback, is listing at $15.95.

Why $15.95?

While it isn't as fixed at rule as $28.00 among hardcover novels, the equivalent price among trade paperbacks is $16.00. Customers leave the more expensive books right on the shelf. Even from authors they know and like.

Don't forget that the cover price and the cash register price of books is often different -- and the latter is usually quite a bit lower than the former.

================

Do I just go for it, keep plugging away until one day when the light gets through the ear wax and I have an ah-ha moment.

Yes, Ken, go for it. Write the book as well as you can. Keep learning! Read other writers, see how they solved the problems that you're facing in your own writing.

Read other authors with your writer mind. You'll be reading, not for plot and story, but for the mechanics of that plot and story. "Nice save!" you'll say to yourself. "Ohhh.... that was tricky!" you'll say somewhere else. "Gee, you flubbed that; real clumsy" you'll say elsewhere. Writers read other writers with different eyes than do regular readers. That's why you need beta readers -- who aren't writers themselves.

That's why the Nebula Awards (given by writers to writers) seldom select the same winners as the Hugo awards (given by readers to writers).

===============

On the subject of when to send the novel out:

Once you've made it as good as you can make it -- send it out. Start high and work down.

How else will you ever know that you've reached a publishable level of writing? More: It will get you used to the next part of the process, the endless submission and rejection cycle. The first time is horrid. The twentieth time is "So what?"

Once again, let me recommend The Unstrung Harp; or, Mr. Earbrass Writes A Novel (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0151004358/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/). That short book contains the real truth about publishing.

===============

Lessee....

We're talking about a novel here, right?

You've made significant changes, right?

If it's been years, the same editor may not even be there any more.

Just be up front in your cover letter, and don't worry too much. What really matters is the words on the page. Meanwhile start work on your next novel.

===============

James D. Macdonald

07-20-2006, 12:28 AM

10/14/05 and following (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=188&pp=25).

Is this strictly something for the typesetter to do or is it something that should be addressed/adhered to by the author? I believe it would be extremely difficult for me to change that kind of habit. A double space seems to come out of my fingers at the end of a sentence.

The double-space/single space after punctuation mostly separates folks who learned how to type on a typewriter from those who learned how to type on a computer.

If you're submitting to folks who will publish your work electronically (a webzine, say), or folks who will be typesetting directly from your file, you can go ahead and do a global search-and-replace to turn double spaces into single spaces.

Personally, I double-space after periods.

In any case, always follow the publisher's guidelines to the letter.

============

I've been neglecting my poor little thread for too long.

It's time now to turn back the clock and clear up some unfinished business from Page 105 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=105&pp=25). Yes, it's time to play What's Going On Here?

The passage under discussion goes like this:

I had always been fascinated by the big house of Framling. Perhaps it had begun when I was two years old and Fabian Framling had kidnapped me and kept me there for two weeks. It was a house full of shadows and mystery, I discovered, when I went in search of the peacock-feather fan. In the long corridors, in the gallery, in the silent rooms, the past seemed to be leering at one from all corners, insidiously imposing itself on the present and almost--though never quite--obliterating it.

For as long as I could remember Lady Harriet Framling had reigned supreme over our village. Farm labourers standing respectfully at the side of the road while the carriage, emblazoned with the majestic Framling arms, drove past, touched their forelocks and the women bobbed their deferential curtsies. She was spoken of in hushed whispers as though those who mentioned her feared they might be taking her name in vain; in my youthful mind she ranked with the Queen and was second only to God. It was small wonder that when her son, Fabian, commanded me to be his slave, I--being only six years old at that time--made no protest. It seemed only natural that we humble folk should serve the Big House in any way that was demanded of us.

The Big House--known to the community as "The House" as though those dwellings which the rest of us occupied were something...

Now let's look at it sentence by sentence:

I had always been fascinated by the big house of Framling.

First person narrator. We're in, or the narrator has been in, a place called "Framling," where there's a big house. The narrator finds this fascinating, there's an implication that the readers will too.

Perhaps it had begun when I was two years old and Fabian Framling had kidnapped me and kept me there for two weeks.

We have a character name now: Fabian Framling. (English-speaking world, apparently.) We have action sometime in the past. Kidnapping is fairly dramatic. So in two sentences we have a person in a place with a problem. Good start. Bad point: It's trivial. It's much like saying "I don't know why I'm afraid of dogs. Perhaps it has something to do with my having been mauled by a pit bull when I was two." Yeah, good guess. Probably does.

It was a house full of shadows and mystery, I discovered, when I went in search of the peacock-feather fan.

"Full of shadows and mystery" verges on cliche. But we have the narrator in center here. Perhaps this is characterization, and he's the sort of person who speaks in fluent cliche. (At the moment, we don't know if the character is male or female.) We've also been introduced to an object. Apparently Fabian Framling's big house is the sort of place that could conceivably hold peacock-feather fans. Possible 1920s time-frame? Certainly the fellow Framling is rich: If for no other reason having the town named after him would imply that.

In the long corridors, in the gallery, in the silent rooms, the past seemed to be leering at one from all corners, insidiously imposing itself on the present and almost--though never quite--obliterating it.

By far the longest, most complex sentence so far. I have no idea how "the past" would go about "leering." This is an example of personification; it could easily become pathetic. We're getting more of an idea of the house -- it's the sort of place that has long corridors and a gallery. It's deserted, or nearly so (silent rooms). Was the family once larger? The house may be more than a mere setting. It may approach being a character in the story. So ends the first paragraph.

For as long as I could remember Lady Harriet Framling had reigned supreme over our village.

Okay, the narrator is located in the village of Framling. "Lady" implies England. We're slowing down to deliver backstory.

Farm labourers standing respectfully at the side of the road while the carriage, emblazoned with the majestic Framling arms, drove past, touched their forelocks and the women bobbed their deferential curtsies.

British spelling. Yep, England. Carriage: Not modern, but early 20th century isn't yet out of the question. Are the arms actually "majestic"? That is, are the Framlings royalty? We're in a rural area. More sense of time and place being laid down here.

She was spoken of in hushed whispers as though those who mentioned her feared they might be taking her name in vain; in my youthful mind she ranked with the Queen and was second only to God.

Right -- we're probably 19th century. That's likely Queen Victoria. "Hushed whispers" -- is hammering it home a bit heavily, don't you think? How's a hushed whisper different from a regular whisper? Again, this could be characterization of the narrator. (In first person, narrative is also dialog.) "Taking her name in vain" is a biblical reference; Lady Harriet is more than a civil authority -- she's taken an aspect of God. That's reinforced by the last word of the sentence (the last word is a position of power).

It was small wonder that when her son, Fabian, commanded me to be his slave, I--being only six years old at that time--made no protest.

I thought the kidnapping was when the narrator was two? Is this a different event? We may be looking at a story of an outsider's view of the doings of the rich and powerful. Is "slave" the right word?

It seemed only natural that we humble folk should serve the Big House in any way that was demanded of us.

The house and the family are being equated. "It seemed" implies that the reality was different. Will the story be one of discovering truth?

The Big House--known to the community as "The House" as though those dwellings which the rest of us occupied were something...

Yep, the Big House (now a proper noun at this point, though it wasn't in the first sentence) looks like it's going to be a character in this story. And with this we end the first page of this book. Sure, I'd turn the page right now.

===============

All that the use of "had" means is that the author is using the past perfect tense. That is to say, the author is describing an action completed in the past. Would "I discovered" be clearer if it were written "I discovered [at that time]"?

In a novel, dialog is privileged speech. In a story written in first person, the narration is a form of dialog, and so is also privileged.

I'm not so much concerned with the style as I am with the story. A fast-moving story will take you over some very rough prose. Conversely, no matter how perfect the prose, a slow-moving story won't carry the reader anywhere.

Tugging the forelock as a means of showing deference is very much a human thing (the military salute is a stylized form of this).

============

I suspect that the passage quoted comes from a historical romance. With the emphasis on the house, it may even be a gothic romance.

(You know the definition of a gothic, right? Girl gets boy, girl loses boy, girl gets house.)

=============

Hmmm? I rather doubt it's a Regency. I think the Queen element is a bit strong for that.

Ah, well.

Meanwhile, here's a quiz for everyone: What kind of Regency Heroine are you? (http://quizilla.com/users/17catherines/quizzes/The%20Regency%20Romance%20Quiz:%20What%20kind%20of %20Romance%20Heroine%20are%20you%3F/)

============

azbikergirl, I got exactly the same response on that quiz that you did!

So did I.

(As a writer I'm in touch with my feminine side.)

==============

Welcome, aertep.

The copyright problem -- well, you're going to re-write the book several times, after you hear back from your beta readers, after you've left it in your desk drawer for a couple of months, and so forth and so on.

It may be a substantially different work by the time you're done.

Heck, after it's sold -- one of mine, the editor didn't like the characters' names. What happened? We worked out different names because you know what? He had a point.

Please don't put the copyright notice on the manuscript when you start sending it around. After it's sold ... then you can be honest with your editor and mention this detail. The editor will *facepalm*, and it'll all be over.

I've mentioned why copyrighting your book in advance is a poor plan. No need to angst about it now. Remember for your next book. (You are working on a "next book," right?)

===========

"Facepalm" is the act of burying your face in the palm of your hand. It's a gesture of despair, a bit more emphatic than merely pinching the bridge of your nose and shaking your head.

You'll find a lovely use of "facepalm" with examples from context here: Troy in Fifteen Minutes (http://www.livejournal.com/users/cleolinda/99710.html)

============

7,000 words ... just wait 'til you've been edited. Those can evaporate. Really. You'd be surprised.

Don't sweat it. As long as you're within ballpark of the publisher's guidelines, you'll do fine.

===============

So why is it that 65 characters makes 10 words? You got me. Maybe it has to do with word-wrapping or whatever. But that's the way it's done.

The average word in English is 5.5 letters long. With a space, it's 6.5 letters.

6.5 inches/line * 10 characters/inch = 65 characters/line.

65 characters/line / 6.5 charaters/word = 10 words/line

25 lines/page * 10 words/line = 250 words/page

================

Courier 12 point = Courier 10cpi = pica

Courier 10 point = Courier 12 cpi = elite

================

Book Title / Author Last Name / Draft Number / Page Number

I'm not even sure if that's proper formatting either, though.

Works for me. If you set 'em flush-right no one will consider 'em part of the text. Also, for submission copy, you might want to drop the draft number. No one but you cares.

(After editing starts, if you provide a re-written version, a date up there might be handy.)

==============

Wide margins and lots of space between lines and between letters gives the editor room to work. An awful lot of editing is hand-work with a pencil.

=============

*COCOA Association Requests Help

Copyright Owners' Control of Access (COCOA) is petitioning Amazon, Google, Microsoft, etc. to allow copyright owners to exercise their legal right to control what's shown via systems like Google Print & Amazon's Search Inside The Book. They propose the COCOA Protocol as the vehicle for that control. Copyright owners use it to say, "Show *this* part of my book(s)" -- be that 100%, 99%, 75%, on down to 0%. (Compare to the current choices of 100% or 0%.) The result will be not just legal access, but access to far more copyrighted material than now. Everyone wins.

COCOA requests your help in moving these behemoth corporations:

1) Please SIGN THE PETITION -- worded for brevity -- at:
http://new.petitiononline.com/cocoa/petition.html

Read details at the COCOA web site: http://www.CopyrightAccess.com

2) Please SPREAD THE WORD: Urge others to sign the petition, learn about
COCOA, and likewise encourage others to sign the petition, spread the word, and urge yet others to, et cetera, et cetera.

Please post on your blogs, tell journalists you know, put links on your
web pages, etc. You may copy this article in full if you like.

The COCOA Association is a non-profit organization established by representatives from a number of authors groups, publishers, and publishing industry experts. It serves as a central point for information on COCOA
and distribution/authentication of COCOA records. COCOA was crafted by people ranging from "copyright conservative" to "copyright liberal," giving
widespread appeal to this consensus design.

Thanks for your help! Please sign! Please spread the word!

--Dr. Andrew Burt
Chair, The COCOA Association
(& former SFWA VP, current chair of SFWA's Copyright Issues Committee,
etc.)

=================

If I can boast on one of my fellow Viable Paradise instructors:

http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire2005/index.php?id=33227

=================

More important: Around thirty of our students have sold professionally afterward, including one with a Nebula nomination and another with a Campbell nomination.

=============

I was a presenter at Writers Weekend in Seattle this year. If a workshop in the western US asked me, I'd certainly consider instructing.

Viable Paradise is primarily SF/Fantasy. While large parts of writing in that genre are common to writing in general, that's the focus.

============

No writing is wasted, first.

Second, writing short form allows us to practice beginnings, middles and ends.

Short form also allows us to play with styles and effects without too big an investment if they don't work.

===============

Minor boast for me:

Something I wrote (http://theblindwinger.blogspot.com/2005/11/what-we-can-learn-from-british-folk.html) was mentioned on the Phil Jupitus show (http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/phill_jupitus/) (BBC-6).

===============

There's no "normal" speed. You'll find something that's comfortable, and gives you the material for the rewriting and revision stage.

Remember that two pages a day is two novels a year.

Eventually, as you gain experience, you'll automatically discard phrases, paragraphs, plotlines, almost before you've thought of them.

Everything improves with practice provided you practice them right. You know the guys who can fieldstrip and reassemble their M16s in thirty
seconds blindfolded? They started off by fieldstripping and reassembling their M16s very, very slowly, but doing it right every step of the
way.

Oh, and you never stop learning. A year from now you won't be the same writer you are today. Keep reading, keep writing.

============

Back on page 190 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=190&pp=25) of this thread, Andrew Jameson referred to a post that I'd made elsewhere. Discussion followed. Since the question has come up again, I think I'll repost that other comment here, so everything will be in one convenient place.

Without further ado:

=============

No, no, no! You don't pay the publisher $4,000! The publisher pays you $4,000! You're the one with the thing of value!

==============

Meanwhile, another PA thread here: Agent's Interesting Observation (http://bb.publishamerica.com/viewtopic.php?t=7741)

A PA author says:

From Writer's Digest, Nov 2005: "Agent Lori Perkins of the L. Perkins Agency in New York says it's much easier to market a first-time novelist's book if the word count falls between 80,000 and 100,000 words, or roughly 300 double-spaced, typed pages--the average novel length.

"One-third of the novels that come into the agency are rejected because they're too long or short, (Perkins says), "The cost greatly increases on books larger than 100,000, so agents and publishers are less likely to gamble on a manuscript the size of a dictionary." END OF QUOTE.

It's good to know we don't have that problem with Publish America, who, from my experience, publishes relatively small books as well as those exceeding 300 pages.

I thought this might be helpful to those of you, who may be holding a manuscript and wondering what to do with it. Send it to PA for review. Maybe it will jump-start your writing career. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Let me explain this, because I can see there's some confusion.

Publishers don't drive publishing. Printers don't drive publishing. Agents don't drive publishing. Bookstores don't drive publishing. Nor do editors. Not even writers drive publishing.

Do you want to know who drives publishing? It's the readers.

First thing you should know: Readers have a sticking-point when it comes to prices. That price is around $28 for a trade cloth (hardcover) book.

Second thing you should know: The unit price of a book decreases as the print run goes up.

Third thing you should know: First novels by unknowns have relatively predictable, and relatively small, sales.

Bookstores won't order books with cover prices that customers won't pay. They can fill the same shelf space with books that might move.

The longer the book, the higher the cost of printing it.

Say a book comes in at 120,000 words. Say it's a normal first novel by an unknown. The publisher figures that it'll sell perhaps 5,000 copies, which means printing and shipping around 7,000 copies.

The publisher can't do that and maintain a price point below $28, while covering their overhead and making a profit.

So they raise the cover price. What happens? Bookstores decrease their orders. So the print run has to go down. That makes the price go up. The bookstores look at the new price, and decrease their orders again. You see where this is going?

Why is all this happening? Because readers won't open their wallets for trade cloth books above $28. Not even by authors they know and like.

What's the solution? Going to PublishAmerica isn't it. Sure, PA will accept the book. They accept anything. Will this jump-start your career? No. Because however high a real publisher would have had to put the price of a hardcover, PA will put the price of a trade paperback even higher. Readers, we know, won't touch the book. You've thrown away your first rights, you're locked into an unfavorable seven-year contract, and your sales history will be horrible.

The real answer is this: Write and sell another book of a more marketable length for a first-time writer. After it comes out, and it's bought and read, you'll have fans who are looking for your next book. Then you can bring out that 120,000 word book. The publisher will be able to print enough copies to justify a $28 price point. Your fans will buy it, new readers will buy it, and you have a happy ending.

Short books, now ... novellas are very hard to sell to publishers. Why? Because readers don't buy them.

I could discuss the path that brought Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, (a first novel weighing in at 800 typeset pages) to press. Notice, please, the price point: $27.95.

How did Bloomsbury manage that? By printing a ton of them. What did they do then? They launched a huge publicity campaign to move that ton of books.

Why did they do that for Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell? Because they believed in it. Why don't they do that for every book? Because they have limited resources, even with a bank account the size of Rhode Island full of Potter-bucks backing them up. Plus, even with the biggest publicity campaign in the world, if the readers don't like the book they'll leave it lying on the shelf.

Please notice that Lori Perkins specified a "first-time novelist." Those are the ones who rely on impulse purchases in bookstores. When you're relying on impulse purchasing, it behooves you to make your book the sort of thing that readers who are buying on impulse are likely to take.

=================

From email:

> From our friends at the US Department of Labor:
>
> 131.067-046 WRITER, PROSE, FICTION AND NONFICTION (profess. & kin.)
> alternate titles: writer
> Writes original prose material for publication: Selects subject matter
> based on personal interest or receives specific assignment from publisher.
> Conducts research and makes notes to retain ideas, develop factual
> information, and obtain authentic detail. Organizes material and plans
> arrangement or outline. Develops factors, such as theme, plot, order,
> characterization, and story line. Writes draft of manuscript. Reviews,
> revises, and corrects it and submits material for publication. Confers
> with publisher's representative regarding manuscript changes. May
> specialize in one or more styles or types of writing, such as descriptive
> or critical interpretations or analyses, essays, magazine articles, short
> stories, novels, and biographies. PHYSICAL DEMANDS ENVIRONMENTAL
> CONDITIONS S C B S K C C R H F F T H T N F D A C F W C H H N V A M E H R S
> N N N N N N F F F N O O N F N N N N N N N N N 2 N N N N N N N T O N N
>
> GOE: 01.01.02 STRENGTH: S GED: R6 M3 L6 SVP: 8 DLU: 77
>
> If you decide you can't live without the knowledge, I can explain what all
> the codes letters and numbers mean. However, the basics are: this entry
> comes from the DOL's useful publication, the Dictionary of Occupations and
> Trades, and the description was last updated in 1977. The DOL considers it
> to be sedentary work, which, to them, means you sit for at least 6 hours a
> day, but stand and walk for no more than 2, and lift no more than 10
> pounds occasionally (up to 1/3 of an 8-hour day) and under 10 pounds
> frequently (up to 2/3 of an 8-hour day). The DOL considers this occupation
> to have an SVP (Specific Vocational Preparation) rating of 8, which means
> it takes 4 to 10 years to become proficient at this (a useful thing to
> point out to those who would write: "Even the US government, dolts that
> they are, realize you don't learn this job overnight!"). Some of the other
> codes explain exposure to hazards like electrocution and other Fun Stuff.

=================

OJT is pretty much how writers learn anything at all.

=============

We frequently link to Making Light (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/) as one of the best places for writing-related information. Now there's a poll for "Best Blog," (http://weblogawards.org/2005/12/best_of_the_top_250_blogs.php) and Making Light is one of the choices. If you like Making Light, perhaps you might make your voice heard.

(Full disclosure: I'm one of the posters at Making Light.)

================

It's been a while since I handed out an assignment, so here goes: Due on Christmas Day!

As you no doubt recall, in the novel Frankenstein, young William Frankenstein is murdered. The murder is blamed on Justine Moritz, who is (unjustly) hanged for the offense.

The murder was actually committed by the wretch created by Victor Frankenstein, and Victor knows it.

You can read all about Justine and her sorrows, and the story of the murder from the wretched creature's point of view, on the web:

http://home-1.worldonline.nl/~hamberg/Frankenstein/Chapter6.html
http://home-1.worldonline.nl/~hamberg/Frankenstein/Chapter7.html
http://home-1.worldonline.nl/~hamberg/Frankenstein/Chapter8.html
http://home-1.worldonline.nl/~hamberg/Frankenstein/Chapter16.html

But can we let this sad miscarriage of justice stand? We shall not!

The facts of the murder are as presented, but let us alter some things (ignoring time, space, trademark and copyright).

Choose one:

Case 1) Victor Frankenstein, seeing the dire straits in which the virtuous Justine has fallen, writes to a consulting detective who lives at 221B Baker Street, London. That gentleman takes the case, and soon arrives in Geneva with his friend, Dr. John Watson. Write the story in the style of A. C. Doyle.

Case 2) The investigating officer is Sergeant Josef Freitag of the Geneva police. His favorite phrase is "Nichts aber die Tatsachen, Dame." Dum-da-dum-dum.... Write the story in the style of Raymond Chandler.

Case 3) The crack investigators of CSI: Miami are on vacation in Geneva, and are staying at a hotel next door to the Frankenstein home. They take an interest in the case, and prepare a friend of the court brief for Justine's trial. Write in the style of Danielle Steel.

Case 4) By a weird coincidence, Jessica Fletcher of Murder, She Wrote is Justine's great aunt twice removed by marriage, and has arrived in Geneva at the same time as (sharing a coach with) Victor Frankenstein. Write in the style of Jessica Fletcher.

Case 5) Perry Mason takes the case for the defence. Write in the style of Erle Stanley Gardner.

Case 6) Justine hires Billy Flynn (from the musical Chicago) for five thousand dollars. Billy has never lost a case for a woman. This challenge includes songs. Write as a musical comedy. Happy ending mandatory.

There's going to be a Part II to this challenge, but I'll give that to you on Christmas Day, as a present.

================

Once more into the breech, dear friends: dipping back to Page 105 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=105&pp=25).

Sam and I are sitting on a mostly deserted beach on Lake Michigan a little north of the Drake Hotel in Chicago. The Drake is filled with treasured memories for both of us, and we had dinner at our favorite table there earlier. I need to be with Sam tonight, because it’s one year since, well, everything happened that shouldn’t have happened -- it’s one year since Danny died.

“This is the spot where I met Danny, Sam. In May, six years ago,” I say.

Sam is a good listener who holds eye contact beautifully and is almost always interested in what I have to say, even when I’m being a bore, like now. We’ve been best friends since I was two, maybe even before that. Just about everybody calls us “the cutest couple,” which is a little too saccharine for both of our tastes. But it happens to be true.

“Sam, it was freezing that night Danny and I met, and I had a terrible cold. To make it worse, I had been locked out of our apartment by my old boyfriend Chris, that awful beast.”

“That despicable brute, that creep,” Sam contributes. “I never liked Chris. Can you tell?”

“So this nice guy, Danny, comes jogging by and he asks if I’m all right. I’m coughing and crying and a total mess. And I say, ‘Do I look like I’m all right? Mind your own blacking business. You’re not going to pick me up, if that’s what you’re thinking. Scram!” I snorted a laugh Sam’s way.

“That’s where I got my nickname, ‘Scram.’ Anyway, Danny came back on the second half of his run. He said he could hear me coughing for two miles down the beach. He brought me coffee, Sam. He ran up the beach with a hot cup of coffee for a complete stranger.”

“Yes, but a beautiful stranger, you have to admit.”

I stopped talking, and Sam hugged me and said, “You’ve been through so much. It’s awful and it’s unfair. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you.”

I pulled out a folded, wrinkled envelope from the picket of my jeans. “Danny left this for me. In Hawaii. One year ago today.”

“Go ahead, Jennifer. Let it out. I want to hear everything tonight.”

I opened the letter and began to read. I was already starting to choke up.

Dear, wonderful, gorgeous Jennifer…

You’re the writer, not me, but I had to try to put down some of my feelings about your incredible news. I always thought that you couldn’t possibly make me any happier, but I was wrong.

Jen, I’m flying so high right now I can’t believe what I’m feeling. I am, without a doubt, the luckiest man in the world. I married the best woman, and now I’m going to have the best baby with her. How could I not be a pretty good dad, with all that going for me? I will be. I promise.

I love you even more today than I did yesterday, and you wouldn’t believe how much I loved you yesterday.

I love you, and our little “peanut.”…

Danny.

Tears started to roll down my cheeks. “I’m such a big baby,” I said. “I’m pathetic.”

“No, you’re one of the strongest women I know. You’ve lost so much, and you’re still fighting.”

“Yeah, but I’m losing the battle. I’m losing. I’m losing real bad, Sam.”

Then Sam pulled me close and hugged me, and for the moment at least, it was all better -- just like always.

A first page (a prologue in this case). Let's look at it line-by-line to see what the author is doing.

======================

Sam and I are sitting on a mostly deserted beach on Lake Michigan a little north of the Drake Hotel in Chicago.

We start with a person in a place. A novel starts with a person in a place with a problem, so we're off to a good start. All we need now is the problem. Present tense. Characters are Sam and "I." First person POV makes narration privileged speech.

The Drake is filled with treasured memories for both of us, and we had dinner at our favorite table there earlier.
This is characterization; apparently these folks have known each other, and lived in the area, a long time. Upscale folks, if they eat out frequently, and have a "favorite table."

I need to be with Sam tonight, because it’s one year since, well, everything happened that shouldn’t have happened -- it’s one year since Danny died.

A third character introduced, Danny, and perhaps the problem. So by the end of Paragraph One we have a person in a place with a problem. That's getting the pieces off the back rank expeditiously. This sentence is the longest and most complex so far. The reader slows down, making Danny stand out. All three characters are in this one sentence. "Died" is in the last-word position, a very important position in a sentence. It's also the last word of the paragraph. It jumps at the reader.

“This is the spot where I met Danny, Sam. In May, six years ago,” I say.
Presumably Sam doesn't already know this, even though Sam and "I" are old friends who frequently dine together not far away? Okay, I can buy that, but let's move fast now. No definite info on the gender of the speaker, but I'm thinking female. Sam knows who Danny is. Danny, whoever he was, isn't the speaker's child.

Sam is a good listener who holds eye contact beautifully and is almost always interested in what I have to say, even when I’m being a bore, like now.

Long sentence, with complexities in its clauses. Answers the reader's question "Why does Sam care?" before it's asked. Reinforcement that the speaker is a female -- "holds eye contact beautifully" isn't a particularly masculine phrase. We may have the author admitting that this is boring -- it's backstory and exposition -- but the exposition has to go somewhere. Flattering the reader, by comparing the reader to the admirable Sam. Are we being a bore when we're talking about a (so-far mysterious) death?

People are interested in love, and people are interested in death (sex and violence -- can't go wrong with those), and so far in two-and-a-half paragraphs we've got both. This isn't really boring.

We’ve been best friends since I was two, maybe even before that.
Clearing the ground for romance with someone else, defining the relationship, and giving backstory and characterization. A good sentence.

Just about everybody calls us “the cutest couple,” which is a little too saccharine for both of our tastes.

Okay, we can be pretty sure that we're talking male/female now. That's an odd phrase to use to describe "best friends," so perhaps they're something more than that? More characterization, and more preempting the reader's objections.

But it happens to be true.

So ... y'all really are a couple? And cute, too? "It happens to be true" implies that some other things either are (or will be) lies. Very simple sentence, easily digested, getting the reader back up to speed. A good paragraph close.

“Sam, it was freezing that night Danny and I met, and I had a terrible cold.

We have to use "Sam" as the first word to show that "I" is talking. Otherwise the reader will have to pause a moment to be sure.

To make it worse, I had been locked out of our apartment by my old boyfriend Chris, that awful beast.”

A bit of confusion. Freezing in May? Well, Chicago -- perhaps. Is "freezing" the thing that's bad, is "had a terrible cold" the thing that's bad, or is meeting Danny the thing that's bad? A bit of as-you-know-Bob dialog here: Sam obviously already knows who Chris is, and (as the speaker's long-time best friend) undoubtedly has a poor opinion of Chris. No need to call Chris a beast -- that's for the reader's benefit.

“That despicable brute, that creep,” Sam contributes. “I never liked Chris. Can you tell?”
A number of short sentences. If Chris isn't important to the story, I'll be disappointed.

“So this nice guy, Danny, comes jogging by and he asks if I’m all right. I’m coughing and crying and a total mess. And I say, ‘Do I look like I’m all right? Mind your own blacking business. You’re not going to pick me up, if that’s what you’re thinking. Scram!” I snorted a laugh Sam’s way.
Telling, but we're telling a story to Sam, so that's okay. And Sam is a patient listener. I'm not certain I like "I snorted a laugh Sam's way."

“That’s where I got my nickname, ‘Scram.’
Sam doesn't already know this? But it's an emotional time, the anniversary of Danny's death. I'll let this pass.

Anyway, Danny came back on the second half of his run. He said he could hear me coughing for two miles down the beach. He brought me coffee, Sam. He ran up the beach with a hot cup of coffee for a complete stranger.”

We're learning more about Danny. I sure hope that coffee had a lid.

“Yes, but a beautiful stranger, you have to admit.”

Definitely a female character, if this isn't a gay romance. I believe we're in the romance genre. Sam's right in his implication: Danny was trying to pick her up.

I stopped talking, and Sam hugged me and said, “You’ve been through so much. It’s awful and it’s unfair.

Woo! Suddenly we drop from present tense to past tense. C'mon, author, you can do better than this. To make up for it, we're promised that there'll be lots of awful and unfair stuff. If we want to see a character angst, we've come to the right place. Here on page one, the reader will know if this is a book he or she will like.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you.”
So we're beyond hope, beyond help. This character is going to suffer for about 300 more pages.

I pulled out a folded, wrinkled envelope from the picket of my jeans.
She went out to dinner in jeans? Okay, I suppose so. She just happens to be carrying the letter? Or she was planning to show it to Sam? Still in past tense.

“Danny left this for me. In Hawaii. One year ago today.”

So, Danny died in Hawaii. Vacation? Our characters are definitely well-to-do. Suicide note?

“Go ahead, Jennifer. Let it out. I want to hear everything tonight.”

I bet I know what the rest of the book is going to be: Jennifer (Hurrah! "I" has a name, and we were right, it's female!) is going to spend the rest of the book Letting It Out. We, the readers, will get to hear Everything.

I opened the letter and began to read. I was already starting to choke up.
Angst, angst, angst!

Dear, wonderful, gorgeous Jennifer…
Well, Danny's laying it on a bit thick. You’re the writer, not me, but I had to try to put down some of my feelings about your incredible news.
Aieee! Our main character is a writer! Well, write what you know, I suppose. I always thought that you couldn’t possibly make me any happier, but I was wrong.
Doesn't sound like a suicide note. We have another reason to follow along, now -- not only what happened to Danny, but what Jen's good news could be. Jen, I’m flying so high right now I can’t believe what I’m feeling. I am, without a doubt, the luckiest man in the world. I married the best woman, and now I’m going to have the best baby with her. How could I not be a pretty good dad, with all that going for me? I will be. I promise.
Ah ha! Jen's pregnant. And, Danny's married to her. Looks like cup-of-coffee-on-the-beach worked pretty well. Fairly simple sentences. A fast read. I love you even more today than I did yesterday, and you wouldn’t believe how much I loved you yesterday.
All is happy and serene! But we know that he'll be dead within the day, so we have a bit of dramatic irony going. The readers know something that the writer of that letter doesn't know. Danny's a bit one-dimensional right now, but maybe he'll improve. I love you, and our little “peanut.”…

Danny.
Argh! Blech! And Jennifer worries about appearing too saccharine?

Tears started to roll down my cheeks. “I’m such a big baby,” I said. “I’m pathetic.”

Speaking of babies ... what happened to the baby? If Jen was just telling Danny that she's pregnant one year ago tonight, she should have a five-month-old around somewhere. "You've been through so much," Sam said. I have a bad feeling about what's going to happen to that "peanut." Another reason for turning the page, to find out what happened to the pregnancy.

“No, you’re one of the strongest women I know. You’ve lost so much, and you’re still fighting.”
Go, Sam! More promises to the reader.

“Yeah, but I’m losing the battle. I’m losing. I’m losing real bad, Sam.”
The dialog is simple, punchy, short. A good contrast to that syrupy letter from Danny. All kinds of conflict promised. A person in a place with a problem? Yeah, we have that. And we're still on page one.

Then Sam pulled me close and hugged me, and for the moment at least, it was all better -- just like always.

Hmmmm.... way ambivalent relationship these two have. But we've finished the first page. Want to turn it? Sure. We have several unresolved questions, with a promise of some three-hanky emotional suffering.

A pity this is a prologue -- most of the readers are going to skip it. But this is okay, they can come back later to get it if they're interested.

I presume that the next page, the start of chapter one, will put us in Hawaii.

================

Inside a publisher's office:

http://www.penguin.co.uk/static/cs/uk/0/aboutus/jobs_workingpeng.html

================

Guys, if you have plot and story, your writing only has to be workmanlike or better in order to make a sale. Yes, it's great if you can can write beautiful prose. Beautiful prose plus story and plot is golden. Beautiful prose without plot or story ... isn't what the public is looking for.

In this particular instance, most of what we have is dialog. In a first-person novel, narration is also dialog. Dialog is privileged, and reveals character.

Is this a classic? I doubt it will be. But I'll be long dead before history reveals that answer.

I think y'all will agree, regardless of taste, that every sentence here is doing something that's moving the story along.

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By "dialog is privileged" I mean that normal rules of spelling and grammar do not apply there. Dialog reveals character, as well as moving the plot forward.

If a character would say "I ain't got no grits," it would be wrong to 'correct' that to "I have no grits." The character would be changed.

You can do anything in dialog. The only question is "Does it work?"

===============

Speaking of jokes:

A Texan is visiting Harvard. He stops a student and asks, "Where's the library at?"

"At Harvard," says the student, "we do not end sentences with prepositions."

"Okay," says the Texan. "Where's the library at, ***hole?"

==============

Shall we look at a work that's an undoubted classic? Something seasonal?

Very well:

Chapter 1: Marley's Ghost
Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it. And Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Scrooge knew he was dead? Of course he did. How could it be otherwise? Scrooge and he were partners for I don't know how many years. Scrooge was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole assign, his sole residuary legatee, his sole friend, and sole mourner. And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully cut up by the sad event, but that he was an excellent man of business on the very day of the funeral, and solemnised it with an undoubted bargain.

The mention of Marley's funeral brings me back to the point I started from. There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate. If we were not perfectly convinced that Hamlet's Father died before the play began, there would be nothing more remarkable in his taking a stroll at night, in an easterly wind, upon his own ramparts, than there would be in any other middle-aged gentleman rashly turning out after dark in a breezy spot -- say Saint Paul's Churchyard for instance -- literally to astonish his son's weak mind.

Scrooge never painted out Old Marley's name. There it stood, years afterwards, above the ware-house door: Scrooge and Marley. The firm was known as Scrooge and Marley. Sometimes people new to the business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, but he answered to both names. It was all the same to him.

Line by line anon.

==================

Chapter 1: Marley's Ghost

We're in a book divided into chapters (unlikely to be a short story; we will use our novel reading protocols here). We are told there is a character named Marley, and Marley has a ghost. "Marl" is clay; a dead person can be referred to as being "turned to clay." This is rather an old-fashioned usage, but (we note) this book was written over 160 years ago. (Sometimes you see this written as "Stave One," as in a staff of music. I have no idea how the first edition put it.)
Marley was dead: to begin with.
We have a short sentence, introducing a character. "To begin with" implies more to come.

There is no doubt whatever about that.

Short, easily understood. Introduces conversational style.

The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner.

Rather longer, more complex, with a list of people who will attest to the death. Raises the possibility that there may indeed be doubt that Marley is dead.

Scrooge signed it.

A second character introduced, very simply, three words. Follows a long and complex sentence. "It" is the burial register.

And Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to.

"'Change" is the 19th century Brit for Wall Street; the Exchange. Introduces the theme of money. "Put his hand" is both a term for signing, and a term for attempting. A longer sentence.

Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
Back to reinforcing the meaning of the first sentence. Treats Marley disrespectfully. Simple sentence. So ends Paragraph One.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail.

Introduces a third character: "I," the narrator. Implies a fourth character, the reader to whom the narrator is talking directly. Admits that the narrator doesn't know everything, characterization. Sets jocular tone.

I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade.

Again, the death-and-burial imagery, and the emphasis on trade -- money. More characterization of the narrator.

But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for.
Bringing in old times -- the wisdom of our ancestors. Complex sentence, with tradition, patriotism, and a depreciation of the narrator all rolled in. We still don't know much more about Marley, who had pride of place in the chapter title and the first sentence of paragraph one.

You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Ah, there's Marley! His death is important. We've heard little else for two paragraphs now. "You will permit me" implies a co-equal status between narrator and audience. End of Paragraph Two.

Scrooge knew he was dead?

Conversational tone continues (the reader's question omitted, but clearly present). Scrooge again. Simple construction.

Of course he did. How could it be otherwise?

Two more very simple sentences, more on Scrooge, and more relationship between author and reader.

Scrooge and he were partners for I don't know how many years.

The second time the narrator has confessed ignorance in as many paragraphs. More on business, and now tying Scrooge to Marley.

Scrooge was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole assign, his sole residuary legatee, his sole friend, and sole mourner.

A second long list; compare it with the earlier the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. The chief mourner is now revealed to be the sole mourner, and they are both Scrooge.

And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully cut up by the sad event, but that he was an excellent man of business on the very day of the funeral, and solemnised it with an undoubted bargain.

And Scrooge wasn't all that mournful. He buried his friend as cheaply as possible. Business theme extended, and characterization for Scrooge. End of Paragraph Three.

The mention of Marley's funeral brings me back to the point I started from.
We've never really strayed from Marley's funeral. Discursive style. The author is hammering this point home (particulalry apt when talking of nails).

There is no doubt that Marley was dead.

A simple restatement of the first sentence.

This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate.

Things changed a lot with Hemingway, didn't they? Ah, well. We're promised a wonderful story. This is clearly a story that's being spoken, and the point of view of the narrator is clarified. So the relationship of the speaker to the listener is reinforced. The listener is a more skeptical sort of person. Middling complexity on this sentence.

If we were not perfectly convinced that Hamlet's Father died before the play began, there would be nothing more remarkable in his taking a stroll at night, in an easterly wind, upon his own ramparts, than there would be in any other middle-aged gentleman rashly turning out after dark in a breezy spot -- say Saint Paul's Churchyard for instance -- literally to astonish his son's weak mind.

A very long and complex sentence. The Churchyard is a graveyard -- the death imagery is here. The ghost element is introduced (previously only seen in the chapter title). "Astonish" literally means "turn to stone." As in what a Gorgon or basilisk would do. We're now moving away from buisness and trade and off to the supernatural. Assumes the listener is perfectly familiar with the works of Shakespeare. The walking dead introduced. End of Paragraph Four.

Scrooge never painted out Old Marley's name.
"Old Marley" (second reference) is rather disrespectful. The story is moving away from Marley to Scrooge (mentioned first in the sentence and paragraph). More characterization.

There it stood, years afterwards, above the ware-house door: Scrooge and Marley.
So, Scrooge and Marley have a warehouse. And Marley's death was years ago. Theme of times-passed again.

The firm was known as Scrooge and Marley.

Business, and linking Scrooge not just to Marley, but to death, because Marley is known only by the fact of being dead.

Sometimes people new to the business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, but he answered to both names.
Scrooge=Marley=dead. Business theme mentioned again.

It was all the same to him.

Rather devastating piece of characterization. End of Paragraph Five, and end of the first page.

A slow and discursive beginning, with a promise from the author (who is positioning himself as the reader's close friend) that something "wonderful" will be related. Plot and story are only present in rudimentary, implied forms.

Do we want to turn the page? Nothing much has happened, no problem stated, other than that the reader-character will not believe the narrator-character about the fact of Marley's death. Tons of characterization of Scrooge, a walking dead man.

===============

"Preposition" means, literally, placed first: Pre-position. That "rule" about not ending sentences with prepositions comes from the 18th century grammar-masters who hadn't quite figured out that English isn't Latin. Ignore it. It isn't really a rule.

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... and I'm finished.

Put it aside for a week or so, then re-read. I bet you'll find something to tweak.

==============

I'm not 100% sure that people today would reject A Christmas Carol if it arrived newly-minted.

A good deal of the first page is spent establishing the character of The Narrator as someone you'd enjoy spending some time with. If I were to summarize it in one sentence, it would be: Someone You Trust Promises Wonders.

=========

Marley was dead: to begin with.

Please notice that Dickens ended that sentence with a preposition.

Also notice: When Dickens wants to put a point across, he uses very simple, short sentences.

Marley was dead: to begin with.

There is no doubt whatever about that.

Scrooge signed it.

Scrooge knew he was dead?

Of course he did.

How could it be otherwise?

There is no doubt that Marley was dead.

Scrooge never painted out Old Marley's name.

The firm was known as Scrooge and Marley.

It was all the same to him.

Elsewhere, I've commented that the author needs to cast him/herself as a character, and to cast the reader as a character. Dickens does it explicitly; you can do it implicitly, but I pray you, do it. (Some authors, I'm told, pin a photo of some person to the desk where they write, and imagine telling the story to that person.)

======================

Combining genres:

Marley was dead: to begin with. And when a man's partner is killed, he's supposed to do something about it.

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UJ, don't leave a brother hangin'.

That is, indeed, from The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett. Hammett is (IMHO) another great stylist.

On A Christmas Carol though: Lush prose is not the only thing it has going for it. The plot and story are powerhouses: They've survived Mr. Magoo and the Muppets.

Here's the full text to A Christmas Carol, for those who found that they must turn the page: http://www.stormfax.com/1dickens.htm

(Plot: Scrooge is visited by four increasingly scary spirits. Story: A sinner is redeemed. Theme: Charity.)

==============

Since I brought up Hammett, here are the first two pages from The Maltese Falcon. Discussion anon.

Spade & Archer
Samuel Spade's jaw was long and bony, his chin a jutting v under the more flexible v of his mouth. His nostrils curved back to make another smaller v. His yellow-grey eyes were horizontal. The v motif was picked up again by thickish brows rising outward from twin creases above a hooked nose, and his pale brown hair grew down -- from high flat temples -- in a point on his forehead. He looked rather pleasantly like a blond satan.

He said to Effie Perine: "Yes, sweetheart?"

She was a lanky sunburned girl whose tan dress of thin woollen stuff clung to her with an effect of dampness. Her eyes were brown and playful in a shiny boyish face. She finished shutting the door behind her, leaned against it, and said: "There's a girl wants to see you. Her name's Wonderly."

"A customer?"

"I guess so. You'll want to see her anyway: she's a knockout."

"Shoo her in, darling," said Spade. "Shoo her in."

Effie Perine opened the door again, following it back into the outer office, standing with a hand on the knob while saying: "Will you come in, Miss Wonderly?"

A voice said, "Thank you," so softly that only the purest articulation made the words intelligible, and a young woman came through the doorway. She advanced slowly with tentative steps, looking at Spade with cobalt-blue eyes that were both shy and probing.

She was tall and pliantly slender, without angularity anywhere. Her body was erect and high-breasted, her legs long, her hands and feet narrow. She wore two shades of blue that had been selected because of her eyes. The hair curling from under her blue hat was darkly red, her full lips more brightly red. White teeth glistened in the crescent her timid smile made.

Spade rose bowing and indicating with a thick-fingered hand the oaken armchair beside his desk. He was quite six feet tall. The steep rounded slope of his shoulders made his body seem almost conical -- no broader than it was thick -- and kept his freshly pressed grey coat from fitting very well.

Miss Wonderly murmurred, "Thank you," softly as before and sat down on the edge of the chair's wooden seat.

Spade sank into his swivel-chair, made a quarter-turn to face her, smiled politely. He smiled without separating his lips. All the v's in his face grew longer.

The tappity-tap-tap and the thin bell and muffled whir of Effie Perine's typewriting came through the closed door. Somewhere in a neighboring office a power-driven machine vibrated dully. On Spade's desk a limp cigarette smouldered in a brass tray filled with the remains of limp cigarettes. Ragged grey flakes of cigarette-ash dotted the yellow top of the desk and the green blotter and the papers that were there. A buff-curtained window, eight or ten inches open, let in from the court a current of air faintly scented with ammonia. The ashes on the desk twitched and crawled in the current.

Miss Wonderly watched the grey flakes twitch and crawl. Her eyes were uneasy. She sat on the very edge of the chair. Her feet were flat on the floor, as if she were about to rise. Her hands in dark gloves clasped a flat dark handbag on her lap.

===============

Mentions of eyes:

His yellow-grey eyes were horizontal.

Her eyes were brown and playful in a shiny boyish face.

She advanced slowly with tentative steps, looking at Spade with cobalt-blue eyes that were both shy and probing.

She wore two shades of blue that had been selected because of her eyes.

Her eyes were uneasy.

Colors mentioned:

yellow-grey
pale brown
blond
tan
brown
cobalt-blue
two shades of blue
blue
darkly red
brightly red
white
grey
brass
grey
yellow
green
buff
grey

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This is an art. You, as the artist, need to make sure every word is doing its duty.

The readers may not notice -- consciously -- what you've done,but they will notice. That's what makes the difference.

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Shall we try another book? A more recent book?

Here are the first two pages of a novel published in 2005:In 1972 I was sixteen – young, my father said, to be traveling with him on his diplomatic missions. He preferred to know that I was sitting attentively in class at the International School of Amsterdam; in those days his foundation was based in Amsterdam, and it had been my home for so long that I had nearly forgotten our early life in the United States. It seems peculiar to me now that I should have been so obedient well into my teens, while the rest of my generation was experimenting with drugs and protesting the imperialist war in Vietnam, but I had been raised in a world so sheltered that it makes my adult life in academia look positively adventurous. To begin with, I was motherless, and the care that my father took of me had been deepened by a double sense of responsibility, so that he protected me more completely than he might have otherwise. My mother had died when I was a baby, before my father founded the Center for Peace and Democracy. My father never spoke of her and turned quietly away if I asked questions; I understood very young that this was a topic too painful for him to discuss. Instead, he took excellent care of me himself and provided me with a series of governesses and housekeepers – money was not an object with him where my upbringing was concerned, although we lived simply enough from day to day.

The latest of these housekeepers was Mrs. Clay, who took care of our narrow seventeenth-century town house on the Raamsgracht, a canal in the heart of the old city. Mrs. Clay let me in after school every day and was a surrogate parent when my father traveled, which was often. She was English, older than my mother would have been, skilled with a feather duster and clumsy with teenagers; sometimes, looking at her too-compassionate, long-toothed face over the dining table, I felt she must be thinking of my mother and I hated her for it. When my father was away, the handsome house echoed. No one could help me with my algebra, no one admired my new coat or told me to come here and give him a hug, or expressed shock over how tall I had grown. When my father returned from some name on the European map that hung on the wall in our dining room, he smelled like other times and places, spicy and tired. We took our vacations in Paris or Rome, diligently studying the landmarks my father thought I should see, but longed for those other places he disappeared to, those strange old places I had never known.

While he was gone, I went back and forth to school, dropping my books on the polished hall table with a bang. Neither Mrs. Clay nor my father let me go out in the evenings, except to the occasional carefully approved movie with carefully approved friends, and – to my retrospective astonishment – I never flouted these rules. I preferred solitude anyway; it was a medium in which I had been raised, in which I swam comfortably. I excelled at my studies but not in my social life. Girls my age terrified me, especially the tough-talking, chain-smoking sophisticates of our diplomatic circle – around them I always felt that my dress was too long, or too short, or that I should have been wearing something else entirely. Boys mystified me, although I dreamed vaguely of men. In fact, I was happiest alone in my father’s library, a large, fine room on the first floor of our house.

My father’s library had probably once been a sitting room, but he sat down only to read, and he considered a large library more important than a large living room. He had long since given me free run of his collection. During his absences, I spent hours doing my homework at the mahogany desk or browsing the shelves that lined every wall. I understood later that my father had either half forgotten what was on one of the top shelves or – more likely – assumed I would never be able to reach it; late one night I took down not only a translation of the Kama Sutra but also a much older volume and an envelope of yellowing papers.

I can’t say even now what made me pull them down. But the image I saw at the center of the book, the smell of age that rose from it, and my discovery that the papers were personal letters all caught my attention

Turn the page? Yes/no.

=================

Would it have helped in figuring out the gender of the first person narrator to know that the author is female?

(This is, incidentally, a first novel, published by a major house, 656 pages in trade cloth binding.)

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The novel is The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova, published by Little, Brown.

One thing I liked about the opening was the way it spiraled in: From the world, to the city of Amsterdam, to the house, to the library, to the bookshelf, to the book.

Perhaps we'll look at it sentence by sentence anon. (Or perhaps in a couple of months, like the last bunch.)

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Myself, I find that adding characters helps. That way the protagonist doesn't have to talk to himself.

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You don't want to use Whack-a-Mole characters. Guys who pop up in only one scene, then are never heard from again, unless a) It's really necessary, and b) It's realistic.

Your main character may only see and speak to a bus driver once, during a scene on a bus. In that case, don't give the bus driver a name or description, lest the readers keep waiting for him to show up again.

Use as many characters as you need, but no more. And no fewer. (Hey, this is an art, not a science.)

Yes, it's common for characters who appear in one scene to want to be in the rest of the book. Let them. If they don't add to the finished work you can remove them later.

When you're looking for characters, ask yourself: a) Do I already have a character who can fulfill this function, and b) What else can this character do?

Cherish your minor characters. They'll save you.

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Good morning, all!

I hope everyone is having a happy Christmas.

The next part of your writing assignment is this:

While you now have a story with action, adventure, excitment (and a beginning, a middle, and an end), your story has one major problem: It's using a trademarked or copyrighted character. (Some of Sherlock Holmes is public domain now ... but not all, and the parts that come from stage plays and movies are very much not public domain.)

So ... the next part of your task is to file off the serial numbers. Take those trademarked/copyrighted characters and make them into original characters. Remove any identifying information. (You can't just turn CSI: Miami into CSI: Puerto Rico. Go right down to the roots and imagine what crime scene investigation would be like if Sir Bernard Spilsbury had been Swiss. Take out other people's characters and put your own characters in their places.

Part II of this task is to make any "say what?" moments your reader might have due to problems with time-and-space seem plausible, at least for the time the reader has the story in front of him/her. This may mean moving Frankenstein (who is entirely in public domain, at least the book version -- I trust no one used the movie monster?) forward in time and across the sea to Civil War-era New York, or 21st century Geneva. Or it may involve
making Hermes Trismegistus the father of forensic detection, so that 18th c. Switzerland had scholars who could read the evidence in spatter marks by means both occult and mysterious.

New deadline for the rewritten story: 12th Night (January 5th). Oh, and read Twelfth Night (http://www.bibliomania.com/0/6/3/1077/frameset.html) by Wm. Shakespeare (or watch it on video (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0009VNBKG/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/)).

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From CNN:
Turkey drops case against author (http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/12/29/turkey.pamuk.ap/index.html)

ANKARA, Turkey (AP) -- Turkish prosecutors decided not to file charges against novelist Orhan Pamuk for allegedly insulting Turkey's armed forces, but the writer still faces charges that he insulted "Turkishness," said lawyers who asked for his trial.

Nationalist lawyers had petitioned prosecutors to file criminal charges against Pamuk for reportedly telling a German newspaper, Die Welt, in October this year that the military threatened and prevented democratization in Turkey.

European officials have criticized Turkey for putting Pamuk on trial on the "insulting Turkishness" charge and have called on the country to do more to protect freedom of expression. That trial was halted by the judge the day it began Dec. 16 and awaits a Justice Ministry ruling on whether it can continue.

Prosecutors on Thursday decided there were no grounds to try Pamuk for insulting the military, said nationalist lawyer Kemal Kerincsiz, who had petitioned the prosecutors asking for Pamuk's trial.

Kerincsiz said he would appeal the decision on Friday.

"It is of course not possible for the prosecutors to make a sound decision under so much pressure," said Kerincsiz. "We've come to the point where we're no longer able to protect our national values. Where will it all end?"

Kerincsiz said the army was portrayed as the enemy of democracy, which he called a "grave insult."

The story continues at the link.

===============

Lest I was unclear:

Leave Frankenstein in. Frankenstein is completely public domain, and this is unabashedly a derivative work.

Jessica Fletcher, however, is not public domain. While the busy-body amateur detective is not copyrighted, the name, and the specifics (a female mystery writer) is both under copyright and most likely trademarked.

The goal here is to remake the story so that while everyone will know (and part of the enjoyment will be) that this is a Frankenstein story -- no one should read it and say, "Oh, that's Jessica Fletcher from Murder, She Wrote."

Yes, it's tough, but it's not impossible. (The impossible we'll try a little later.)

===============

James D. Macdonald

07-20-2006, 12:46 AM

01/01/06 and following.

Would you speak to what sort of outline you'd like to see accompany the first 10,000 words of novel?

Make it brief.

A present-tense narration.

But brief.

============

Sure, Anna.

You can also ask about 'em here: http://webnews.sff.net/read?cmd=xover&group=sff.workshop.viable-paradise&from=-10

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The workshop organizers usually send the first batch of submissions to the instructors in mid-March, then every month thereafter until we've filled the class.

We look at the submissions as: Obvious Invite, Let's Wait a Bit, and I Don't Think So. We keep going like that until we've filled the class.

Other instructors may have other criteria, but mine is: Do I think I have something useful to tell this person?

The staff figures it all out in June, though there may be some early acceptances. I don't have much to do with that end of things.

==============

If I recall correctly, the first scene of The Golden Compass also has our protagonist sneaking around where she shouldn't be, in imminent danger of being discovered and getting in trouble. That she doesn't understand Adults talking about Adult Things isn't a problem there.

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Aw, you mean I can't use my pretty blue cloud paper? :Shrug:

No.

What's the difference between rewriting and revising?

Rewriting gets the spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Revising is "looking again." Is there something else that needs to happen? Is this the best character to tell that part of the story? Does the story of the birthday party in chapter four, however amusing, belong? If so, would it go better in chapter eight? Is the ending as strong as it can be? Is the opening as smooth as it must be?

On the title page do you want to keep the same size font for the title as your text or do you want to make it bigger? What about bolding it? What about changing the font to make it a little fancier? And what about bolding chapter numbers and titles?

One font, one size. Why make your editor's job harder?

Title and byline - is by line where you write "By Your Name?" So you have it both there and up in the upper left hand corner of the title page?

The "byline" is "By [name of author that will appear on the story]." This is not always the same as [name of guy who wrote the story].

Is there a difference between Courier and New Courier?

No important difference for our purposes.

Also, what if you have a really long title? For example if you're writing a series so that you have the series name plus the name of that exact book.

To take C.S. Lewis for example...

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Would I want that full title "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" at the top of every page or would I want to shorten it to just the book name, "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe?"

Abbreviate. Lewis/Lion/1 ... etc. The purpose is so that when the pile holding your manuscript and fifteen others falls over, the editorial assistants can put all the manuscripts back together in the right order.

Or what if it's not a series like that and you just have a really long title?

Use one or two words from the title.

And do you want it bolded to set it apart from the text or do you want it to be unbolded and look just like the text?

One font, one size. What's with all this bolding? Just because your wordprocessor can doesn't mean you should. The header is already on its own line and flush right. No one's going to mistake it for the body text. Why distract the reader with boldface?

==============

Since the text would be double spaced, does that mean it should be the same space in comparison as the rest of the text? Thanks!

What's the antecedent for "it" there?

If you mean the header: Yes, it's two lines above the first line of the body text.

=============

Back to Rambling's question:

It's perfectly fine to have subplots that don't advance the main plot -- provided they support the theme (either by directly supporting it, by comparing, by contrasting, by illustrating, or otherwise commenting on the theme.)

Everything needs to support the theme, advance the plot, or reveal character.

=============

Two format question:

1. Do I put my pseudonym on the running header of every page in the manuscript, or do I put my real name?

Your choice. I'd use my real name, but it really doesn't matter.

2. How do you format subchapters? For example, I have Chapter One, and within this chapter I have I, II, III etc. I know I start in the middle of the page to start a new chapter, but how do I format the subchapters? Do I double space and continue?

Skip a line, center your sub-chapter heading, skip a line, continue.

=============
And two out of three would better than one out of three?
-Barbara

Three out of three is better still.

If you have a word with zero out of three ... ask yourself why you want to have that word.

============

Jim,

Unless specified otherwise, is the rule of thumb for chapter breaks still new page, center? I've been seeing some variations here and there. I recently saw double space, including chapter break.

New page, start the chapter half-way down the page. Center the chapter title or number, doublespace, indent, and type.

Now, I'm faced with a challenge. The submission guideline I'm formatting says to send along with the query a two page "detailed" synopsis of my MS.. They emphasize--"not an outline", but a synopsis. I plan on present tense narrative to do so. Am I correct in that assumption?

Present tense narrative, single spaced. Times Roman is acceptable. Think of how you'd tell your friend about a really good movie you saw last night. Put in the major plot highpoints and the surprise climax. The question they want answered is "Does this writer have a complete story with beginning, middle, and end?

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Usually the hash mark is centered.

==============

Chief complaints from editors?

Dunno. If I were guessing: "Clumsily done. Threw me out of the story" would be the worst complaint about scene shifts.

This is an art. If it works, it's right. Your readers will tell you if it works.

(And Berry -- you have learned well. Now you are the master.)

===============

I've never counted how many manuscripts go in each category.

We stop looking after we've filled the class.

===============

Titles are capitalized when it's the guy's name.

As others have said above. When you're writing, just be consistent (and Beware the Curse of Promiscuous Over-capitalization).

--------------

And a brief comment on my latest bit of self-publication (http://www.lulu.com/content/219003). In this case, I'm using Lulu as an easy Xerox machine. This coming February, Doyle and I have been invited to speak to a couple of classes on publishing at the University of Connecticut. The instructor wanted the students to read some of our works, without making them go out and buy multiple anthologies just for one story in each. So I genned up a quick chapbook of three of our stories, my beloved wife did a cover (yes, it's legal to own those things in New Hampshire), and we put on line. Rather than keeping it private for the students, though, I pressed the button that said "make this available to the public" (or words to that effect). The advertising that I'm doing, sig lines, on my web page, etc., is no-cost. I've not yet decided if I'll leave it up after the class meets. I probably will take the PDF down (leaving only hard copy), if I put the same stories on Fictionwise.com (something else I'm thinking of doing with our old short stories).

==================

All I sold were first serial rights, with a six month exclusive period after publication of the anthologies. Since the most recent of the anthologies came out in 2002, that's long passed.

One of those stories has been reprinted two other times in two other anthologies (with new payments each time, hurray, go me!). Since I kept all the rights other than first serial (which, of its nature, can only be sold once), I can do with them as I please.

============

I'm the shape-of-a-story guy.

I don't really care much about the grammar; I ask "Does this person have somewhere they're going?" If yes, I can talk with them about refining that. If not ... I can't help.

===============

I (we) have sold about as many short stories as novels.

The differences are these:

You don't have any room for error in a short story.

A novel can do many things; a short story only does one.

============

Think of 'em this way:

If you're doing aerobatics, and you're flying at 5,000 feet, you have room to recover. If you're doing aerobatics and you're flying at 500 feet, you're dead.

A short story is a single joke. A novel is a comedy routine.

=============

On the uselessness of Amazon Comments:

http://news.zdnet.com/2100-9595_22-522532.html?legacy=zdnn

============

I enjoyed them thoroughly and recommend them to everyone.

If you think my books suck, tell me.

If you think they're great, tell everyone else.

============

The more public the person, the less protection that person has.

Titles can't be copyrighted, but songs may be special cases if, for example, the title is also one of the lines.

Always ask if the effect you want requires the particular name/title/whatever.

For real answers, please talk to a real lawyer.

================

Jim, Could you list certain points that need/should be covered in a query letter, and those points one should stay away from?

What should be covered?

Genre and length.

What one should stay away from?

How much you need the money, and how certain you are that this book will be a best-seller.

==============

James D. Macdonald

07-20-2006, 01:11 AM

02/01/06 and following. (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=199&pp=25)

What I've been telling you all along:

http://freerangelibrarian.com/2006/01/being_able_to_write.php

==============

Offsite backup is a good thing. But you really don't need to worry about people stealing your manuscript.

===============

I've heard this said before, but I'm not sure of the reasoning. Could you expand on that?

An unpublished manuscript is, essentially, worthless. The only things that get plagiarized are published works. I can think of only one case where an unpublished work was stolen and published ... and in that case the two authors were partners who were working together, but only one of them put his name on the manuscript when submitting it.

Suppose someone did steal your manuscript. What would they do with it? It would take them just as much trouble to sell as it would take you, then they wouldn't be able to revise it when the time came.

==============

The workshop organizers usually send the first batch of submissions to the instructors in mid-March, then every month thereafter until we've filled the class.

Things are moving quicker than expected. Here it is first week of February and we've already had two batches sent to us.

============

For those who came in late:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=415062&postcount=4768
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=431719&postcount=4855
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=436157&postcount=4859
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=443407&postcount=4880

Well, folks, here it is the 5th of February. You have a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

You have your beta readers comments, you have your list of five paying markets.

The deadline is close of business tomorrow!

Take the beta readers' comments, and re-write your story to the best of your ability, making use of those comments. Then print it out in proper manuscript format (http://www.sfwa.org/writing/format_betancourt.htm), put on a cover letter (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/printthread.php?t=6710&page=11&pp=25), add an SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope), and PUT IT IN THE MAIL.

By five p.m. tomorrow, Monday the 6th of February, you'll have a story out there.

When it comes back (and it will), THAT SAME DAY put it in an envelope and send it to the next place on your list. Do not let a manuscript sleep over.

YOU MUST DO THIS FOR ALL FIVE ADDRESSES YOU'VE FOUND (unless it sells first).

When it's come back from those five, put it in a file folder, with a disk copy, plus the sheet with the five addresses. Put that day's date on it, and put it in your file cabinet.

One year from that day, take the story out and re-read it. Then, and only then, can you make any changes from what you have written and revised by tomorrow's deadline. (Exception: If the story sells, and the editor requests changes, I leave it to your conscience whether to make those changes.)

SO:

Tomorrow at five p.m. send it out. Tomorrow at six p.m. start your next story. Your quota is 250 words. They don't have to be good words; all they have to do is exist.

=============

Okay. I've made a vow to myself to be less negative, so this is not intended to be so. But I have to question the "and it will" here. My return rate, of any sort, on short fiction submissions is only about 50%. I've had many many many submissions simply disappear into the ozone, even with follow-up letters after several months. And, before anybody asks, yes, I ALWAYS send a proper SASE.

Which again brings up the question of simultaneous submission vs. sequential submission. Comments?

caw.

First, limit yourself to top-tier markets. Less likely things will get lost that way. Second, the postcards: Why do you care when the thing was opened? What will you do differently on the day you get the postcard back, if you included one? Either they offer to buy the story or they don't. Anything else is a waste of your time and theirs. Third, simultaneous submissions. Only do this if the market clearly states that they accept simsubs, and clearly mark that this is a simultaneous submission in the cover letter.

============

In the last paragraph of the cover letter, where you might put "this is a disposable manuscript," you put "this is a simultaneous submission." That's it.

For some reason that I've never figured out, some writers include copies of their prior rejection slips with their submissions.

Please don't do that.

==============

Speaking of simsubs, as we were:

There are two paths here, one going to agents, one going to editors.

If you're looking for an agent, it's normal and expected to query a dozen or fifty at a time. Just spell their names right. If one comes back and asks for an exclusive, make sure you have reasonable time limits and dates on it. A six week exclusive isn't out of bounds.

I keep hearing, "Suppose I hear back from a better agent?" The answer, O seeker after wisdom, is this: Don't query any agent you wouldn't be delighted to have represent you.

The second path is through editors. Here, only simsub if the market explicitly states that it's okay. If they're silent on the subject, assume no simsubs. If they say "No simultaneous submissions," it would behoove you to believe them.

Now on to cases. Suppose you submit to a bunch markets that allow simsubs. Suppose you get an offer back from a 1/4-cent-a-word market, you gleefully accept it, and the next day you get an offer from a ten-cent-a-word market. What then, Pilgrim? Answer: Same as above, don't submit to any market you wouldn't be delighted to have publish you.

You will find folks who say, "Go on, young writer. Submit simultaneously to markets that say 'No simultaneous submissions.' You're only hurting yourself by giving 'em exclusive looks."

I say, "Bah! Humbug!" You don't win a prize for getting the most rejections soonest. You're working on your next piece.

First, that's a form of betting against yourself. You're betting that no one will want your story anyway.

I will tell you a true thing: A story that's publishable by one is publishable by many. If you're writing at a publishable level, you're likely to get more than one offer. What then, sprout?

By the time an offer comes to you, the publisher has already expended time and money on your piece. They've run profit/loss numbers, figured out where it'll fit in the schedule, and are ready to go with it. They won't be happy to have it withdrawn.

Next, you will be found out. Editors all know each other. They talk with each other. One of the things they talk about is the great new writer they just discovered. So if your story is that flaming good (and why did you submit it if it wasn't?), they're going to be talking about it with their friends from other houses while they're picking up their sandwiches to eat back at their desks. (If al Qaeda wanted to destroy New York publishing there's one particular deli they could bomb at lunchtime.)

One of the fictions that you're writing is that the publisher you submitted to is the one among all the publishers in the world that you really, really want to see publish your book. (That's why in the cover letter you want to make sure that not only did you spell the name of the editor correctly, but that the editor works there and you've changed all references to the publishing house to the name of the house you're currently submitting to.) They want to think that they're the first girl you asked to the prom.

So, why not anyway? Because the next time one of your books comes in, the folks who see it will say "Bet he's submitted it to everyone in Writer's Market" and slip it back in the SASE with a pre-printed form. Faced with 18,000 slush manuscripts, editors are looking for easy rejects. "Functionally illiterate from Page One" is good for that, but "Doesn't follow the guidelines" is also fast and easy. Editors aren't cutting you any slack; they're looking for reasons to say no.

Shall we talk about agents and auctions now?

Those are one reason it's good to get an agent. Agents aren't limited to one submission at a time. They can hold auctions, which is a form of simultaneous submission. They are banking their reputations on finding Good Stuff -- so you need an agent with that reputation.

The agent calls up however-many of her editor friends who might like the manuscript, and says "I'm holding an auction ... do you want in?" and messengers the manuscript over to the ones who say yes. It's got a closing date and time. After that, the fun starts.

The first publisher to come in with a reasonable offer -- one that the author would accept -- gets the floor. If no other acceptable bids come in, they get the book. (There are advantages to having the floor, which I'll get to in a minute.) If other bids come in, all the folks who are bidding are informed, and can come back with better offers. Better offers may not be for more money -- they may be for future books, or variations in rights sought, or accounting, or publicity.... and so on, until the auction closes. At that point, the publisher that got the floor gets a chance to trump whatever the winning bit was, by paying 10% more. So whoever gets in the first bid is guaranteed to get the book, if they want it enough.

That's where you want a savvy agent.

==============

Send as many or as few as you want. Just don't put them all in the same envelope.

Some people don't hold with that, saying that you're competing with yourself. So you could come up with a list of, say, 20 places that might take your stuff, and start story #1 with place #1, story #2 with place #2, and rotate around the list until you've hit 'em all (then retire that story for a year).

Or, you could hand-select which market would be ideal for your story, and send it there first. If you write two stories a week apart that would be perfect for the same place, send 'em both to the same place, a week apart.

Seriously, just write and submit. Gaming the system to any finer level gets you into the Avoiding Submission trap.

============

This is from the RWA site:

Definition of a Publisher:

A RITA-eligible publisher is defined as a royalty-paying publishing house that (1) is not a subsidy or vanity publisher (2) has been releasing books via national distribution for a minimum of one year, and (3) has sold a minimum of 1,500 hardcover or trade paperback copies or 5,000 copies in any other format, including print on demand, of a single romance novel or novella or collection of novellas in book form, in bona fide arms-length transactions, and continues to sell a minimum of 1,500 hardcover or trade paperback copies or 5,000 copies in any other format of a subsequent romance novel each year.

As of December 1, 2005, the following publishers and their imprints are RITA-Eligible:

Baker Book House www.bakerbooks.com (http://www.bakerbooks.com/)

Baker Books
Bethany House
Revell
Barbour Publishing www.barbourbooks.com (http://www.barbourbooks.com/)

Heartsong Presents
Belle Books www.bellebooks.com
(http://www.bellebooks.com/)Brilliance AudioBooks www.brillianceaudiobooks.com
(http://www.brillianceaudiobooks.com/)Broadman & Holman www.broadmanholman.com (http://www.broadmanholman.com/)
Chariot Victor
Cook Communications Ministries www.cookministries.com (http://www.cookministries.com/)
Crossings Book Club
Dorchester Publishing www.dorchesterpub.com (http://www.dorchesterpub.com/)

Leisure
Love Spell
Ellora’s Cave www.ellorascave.com (http://www.ellorascave.com/)
(http://www.genesis-press.com/)Granite Publishing www.granitepublishing.biz (http://www.granitepublishing.biz/)

Harlequin Enterprises www.eharlequin.com (http://www.eharlequin.com/)

Harlequin Books
HQN LUNA
Mills & Boon
MIRA
Red Dress Ink
Silhouette Books
Steeple Hill Books
HarperCollins www.harpercollins.com (http://www.harpercollins.com/)

Avon Books www.avonromance.com (http://www.avonromance.com%20/)[/url]
HarperCollins Children’s Books
Harvest House www.harvesthousepublishers.com (http://www.avonromance.com%20/)
(http://www.hawkpub.com/) Howard Publishing www.howardpublishing.com
(http://www.howardpublishing.com/) (http://www.imajinnbooks.com/)
Kensington Publishing www.kensingtonbooks.com (http://www.kensingtonbooks.com/)

Brava Dafina Encanto Kensington Pinnacle Strapless Zebra
Zebra Regency
Kregel Publications http://kregel.gospelcom.net (http://kregel.gospelcom.net/)

Loveland Press www.lovelandpress.com
(http://www.lovelandpress.com/)
Macmillan www.mcp.com (http://www.mcp.com/)

Pan Macmillan www.panmacmillan.com (http://www.panmacmillan.com/)
St. Martin’s Press www.stmartins.com (http://www.stmartins.com/)
Tor/Forge www.tor.com (http://www.tor.com/)
Medallion Press www.medallionpress.com (http://www.medallionpress.com/)

Multnomah Publishing www.mpbooks.com
(http://www.mpbooks.com/)
Penguin Putnam www.penguinputnam.com (http://www.penguinputnam.com/)

Berkley
Dutton
G.P. Putnam’s Sons
Putnam
Jove
NAL
Onyx
Penguin
Signet
Viking
Random House Publishing www.randomhouse.com (http://www.randomhouse.com/)

Ballantine Books
Bantam
Delacorte
Dell
Doubleday
Fawcett
Ivy
Literary Guild/Doubleday Book Club
Random House
WaterBrook Press
Red Sage Publishing www.redsagepub.com
(http://www.redsagepub.com/) Severn House www.severnhouse.com (http://www.severnhouse.com/)

Simon & Schuster www.simonsays.com (http://www.simonsays.com/)

Atria
Downtown Press
Pocket Books
Simon Pulse
Thomas Bouregy & Co.

Avalon Books www.avalonbooks.com (http://www.avalonbooks.com%c2%a0/)[url="http://www.avalonbooks.com%c2%a0/"] (http://www.avalonbooks.com%c2%a0/)
Thomas Nelson

W Publishing Group
http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/dept.asp?dept_id=250000&TopLevel_id=250000
Tyndale House www.tyndale.com (http://www.tyndale.com/)

HeartQuest
Warner Books www.twbookmark.com (http://www.twbookmark.com/)

Center Street
Warner Faith
Warner Forever
Zondervan www.zondervan.com (http://www.zondervan.com/)

==============

For poetry you're on your own. Many poets self-publish chapbooks, and sell them via non-traditional distribution (e.g. from a box on stage when they do a reading on Open Mike Night).

Many magazines use poetry as filler. Find their guidelines, follow them to the letter. Never, ever, pay to get published. Don't buy your own books (that's poetry.com's scam).

Where do you find the poetry that you read yourself? Submit your works to the same places.

Good luck with that. You know the most seldom-heard sentence in English? "Hey, look at that poet's Mercedes!"

==============

On the other hand, if short stories is what you're good at, and what you love doing, why not?

Very few people make a living at this racket anyway.

All writing is hard. Some kinds are harder for people than some other kinds.

You just mailed a short story, didn't you? You're about to start another, aren't you?

I'm probably going to start on a short story myself this afternoon. Why? Because the idea isn't big enough for a novel.

This is the novels board. There's going to be a prejudice toward novels.

Don't let anything that's said here stop you from following your heart.

================

You want an example of someone who writes only short works? Take Ted Chiang (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Chiang). His complete published works fit in one hardcover anthology.

If he ever decided to write a novel, it would get a serious read very quickly. So far he doesn't appear to have the urge to write a novel.

There isn't any one path. There isn't any one style. At the end, there is only the reader. Please the reader and all will be well.

==============

A synopsis covers the entire piece, beginning, middle, and end.

This rate of submission for VP is a bit quicker than usual, but may just mean that the staff is more efficient this year than in years past. We always hold open a couple of spots to the very end, just in case something Super Fantastic comes in on the last day.

As to how short a short story can be: My shortest ever sold was four words.

It was to Two-Fisted Writer Tales, the companion volume to Swashbuckling Editor Stories. The guidelines said "Four to four thousand words." So I wrote a four-word one, and got accepted. The editor agreed to buy me a Coke as payment. Alas, the book was never published. Such things happen.

The story, in full, read:

Writer: "Fist, fist!"

Thwack.

I haven't found a market to re-sell it to.

===============

Speaking of short stories, what they are, how they function:

The king died then the queen died

isn't a story.

The king died then the queen died of a broken heart

is.

==============

Pen names? You can be any gender at all for a pen name. Male to female and female to male are so common....

==============

What definition of "professional" do you want? There's been discussion on this forever, without consensus.

One point of view is that there's no such thing as a professional writer, because the only "professions" are those that have licenses, such as doctor or lawyer.

Another point of view is that anyone who gets paid for his/her writing is a "professional" writer.

I don't think that anyone's argued that only full-time writers are "professional," since if that were true there'd be darned few.

My personal opinion is that "professional" is a state of mind. If you act "professionally," (that is, in a businesslike way) then you're a professional writer. Know the standards, apply them, and so on. When your work is published by professional markets (that is, ones that sell copies to the public for money), then one is a professional.

===============

I could do it, but it will take quite some time.

And this is a problem how? Take the time.

================

Joseph Heller started his first novel (Catch-22) in 1953. It was published in 1961. His second novel was published in 1974.

No one looks down on Joseph Heller.

Really, how fast you pump 'em out isn't the question. How good they are is the question. Make your book good.

============

There's a difference between writing for publication and writing for a living. If you're doing it for a living, you absolutely need to have something coming out every year. If you're writing for publication, write when and if you please, just be aware that you'll be getting first-novel advances each time.

=============

Beware performing rejectomancy.

Here's one thing to try:

Retype the entire manuscript. From hardcopy. You're allowed to make changes as you go. Some bits may not seem worth retyping. Don't retype them. Others will fill you with the need to expand. Expand them.

Meanwhile, start another book.

=============

Thinking about doing that now in the era of the word processor, I'm not sure any of it would survive.

I know one well-published and award-winning author who does exactly that.

I've started another project, but 40-50 pages into it, I just don't have the same emotional investment as I've got with the current one.

You will.

==============

My question: Does this work?

Can't hurt. The trick, as aways, is finding a market for them.

===============

I do have one more question, if I may. Is there a formula to writing a book a year?

Yes. Write a page a day.

=============

Is this different from re-visioning scenes, away from the actual manuscript? I re-wrote two scenes today, not looking at (but thinking of) the original, and I like them much better this way.

It's quasi-different. If you're in real trouble with a novel, and you don't want to just trunk it, my next advice would be to retype it from memory.

In other news ...

You can follow The Land of Mist and Snow (most recent novel) as it makes its way from me to my editor!

http://www.fedex.com/Tracking?cntry_code=us&link=4

FedEx tracking number 8550 1071 3281

(Why FedEx? Pushing the deadline for one last re-write, of course.)

I'll start the next one tomorrow. For me, right now, ice cream! (I know it's February. I want ice cream. You got a problem with that?)

=============

Uncle Jim, do you think I should start up another, brand-new book while I'm still working on my present one? Or do you think that's a bit much to handle?

Only you can know that, Sean. Experiment. Find what works for you.

You might consider starting slow and building up as you see what your capabilities are, rather than starting out too high and perhaps burning out.

Now, go write a page.

===============

Talk about VP is a bit off-topic for this thread. There's yahoo email group
for past-and-potential VP students.

I'm trying to think of something useful to say about writing that hasn't already been said. I'm still in that post-turn-in haze, when I'm supposed to be writing, and I am, but it's all ... junk.

This will pass.

=============

Litfic is just a marketing category. The exact same text could have another genre on the spine, and would if the nice publisher thought it would sell better over there.

I could tell you stories that aren't fit for public consumption about that.

As to how close you get to your characters ... it's one thing when you start seeing your characters around the house. It's worse when your kids start seeing your characters around the house.

Or when your kids walk in to the middle of a conversation and ask "Are you talking about someone we know, or is it one of your characters again?"

===============

See y'all at Boskone.

=============

Lee, I don't know. Could it work? Sure. How will you know that it worked? Your beta readers will tell you.

Novellas are tough lengths to sell.

=============

Am I right in assuming my story is unsellable for the foreseeable future? Am I stuck back at square one with a new manuscript?

Nope. Just write it, and submit it, and let the story carry itself.

If all that the story has going for it is an accented animal -- it may not be much of a story. Aside from the gimmick is the plot strong?

Animals with French accents have been around since Pepe LePew (http://www.toonopedia.com/pepe.htm). Carry on regardless of unseen films. By the time that one's released it might feature a Russian-accented giraffe. No telling with Hollywood.

================

Anna, you might look at Critters (http://www.critters.org). It's a give-one-to-get-one kind of on-line workshop/critique group. You may learn more about your own writing by critiquing that of others.

Beta readers who are willing to be brutally honest are a vein of gold. Even if you're crying inside, the only words on your lips should be a sincere "Thank you!"

(Your mom and your best friend from high school probably aren't your best beta readers.)

Do try to include a filthy minded fifteen-year-old and a literal-minded twelve-year-old in the mix.

===============

The sixth sense is called proprioception, and it's the awareness of where your body is in relationship to itself.

===============

Are novellas and novelettes more like novels, or more like short stories, or is this a case-by-case decision?

As far as rewriting, a novella or novelette is closer to being a novel. You can take pieces, rearrange, add and take away, and have something useful. It isn't a case of "Well, that didn't work," and try again from scratch.

Sometimes, though, even entire novels are so fatally flawed that you have to lay it aside and start again.

This is frequently the case with first novels.

==============

I know all about being impatient, but seriously, what's your hurry?

You may not even know what the real opening of your book is until after you've reached The End and revised it a couple of times.

Sending out a partial of an unfinished manscript as a first timer is a form of betting against yourself. You're betting that everyone will say "no," so where's the harm?

What's your goal? To get the greatest number of rejection slips? Didn't think so. Your goal is to get picked up by the first place you query. You want to hear "yes, send the whole thing."

Even if you're up front about the fact that the book isn't finished ... as a first timer the best you'll hear is "write again when it's done." At worst, you'll get one of those nice form rejections. Sad fact: once a particular work has been rejected by a particular market, it's well-nigh impossible to get them to look at that same work again.

So, don't do it. Finish your book. Make it perfect. That includes the perfect opening, the perfect ending, and all the words in between.

Only then should you start sending it around. And while it's going around, you're writing your next book.

===============

The Devil's Rejection Slips (http://www.tcinternet.net/users/kritzerburke/naomi/devilsmailbox.htm)

=============

I'm afraid the best I can do is a formatting question. My WIP is written in the form of a journal, using dates in place of chapter headings. What I am wondering is whether or not enough attention will be paid to these headings to allow them to direct the flow of time.
For example, if the first section is the 12th day of 5th 2e214 (I am writing in a fantasy setting so standard names for months are inapplicable. The calendar is explained in the work.) and then there is a three day space before the second entry, is it enough to label it 15th day of 5th 2e214 or shall I reinforce the passage of time. Perhaps with an intro along the lines of "Three days of fruitless searching has finally led me to ..."

Chris

Would the character countersink the time passage with "three days later" when writing his/her journal? If not ... don't.

Be very careful of using long strings of numbers for anything. Readers are likely to read those as "number number number" without actually seeing them. That is, they'll be aware there's a number, but not what it is.

After that ... just try and see how it works. You can always go back and change it if you need to. No one but you sees your first drafts.

===========

I'd still be wary of "somehow." What's wrong with merely noting "The door didn't close"?

===========

In the workshop, were the workshoppers reading the whole book from the beginning as one unit, or were they reading an isolated chapter, after having read the preceeding bits some time before?

Workshopping in pieces is difficult. Wait until your beta readers have the whole book in hand and read it as a whole before making that decision.

=============

To me, the opening I have is the moment of not-ordering-pizza, because it's when the protagonist (actually, he's died once already and dies a few more times in the course of the book, so he may a hero as well) decides to not just run away, but to arm himself (in a way) against his enemy. The part before that is him being victimised and endangered, really.
Any suggestions on how to tell whether I've started the story in the wrong place or the right place? Or what the problem really is?

Have you written the whole book?

You can do flashbacks, but you need real justification for any deviation from chronological time.

Are you entirely certain that those parts are needed to tell your story?

The best way to tell if you've started in the wrong place is to a) finish the book, and b) let it sit in your desk drawer for three months while you start another book. Re-read then and the answer may be obvious.

===============

If you really, really want to know how many words are in your manuscript, and how many pages will be in the printed book, here're workshop instructions:

http://alg.livejournal.com/77731.html

================

Some wonderful words:

http://www.brownielocks.com/words.html

================

It's been a while since we've played "First Two Pages." So, without further ado:

They threw me off the hay truck about noon. I had swung on the night before, down at the border, and as soon as I got up there under the canvas, I went to sleep. I needed plenty of that, after three weeks in Tia Juana, and I was still getting it when they pulled off to one side to let the engine cool. Then they saw a foot sticking out and threw me off. I tried some comical stuff, but all I got was a dead pan, so that gag was out. They gave me a cigarette, though, and I hiked down the road to find something to eat.

That was when I hit this Twin Oaks Tavern. It was nothing but a roadside sandwich joint, like a million others in California. There was a lunchroom part, and over that a house part, where they lived, and off to one side a filling station, and out back a half dozen shacks that they called an auto court. I blew in there in a hurry and began looking down the road. When the Greek showed, I asked if a guy had been by in a Cadillac. He was to pick me up here, I said, and we were to have lunch. Not today, said the Greek. He layed a place at one of the tables and asked me what I was going to have. I said orange juice, corn flakes, fried eggs and bacon, enchilada, flapjacks, and coffee. Pretty soon he came out with the orange juice and the corn flakes.

"Hold on, now. One thing I got to tell you. If this guy don't show up, you'll have to trust me for it. This was to be on him, and I'm kind of short myself."

"Hokay, fill'm up."

I saw he was on, and quit talking about the guy in the Cadillac. Pretty soon I saw he wanted something.

"What you do, what kind of work, hey?"

"Oh, one thing and another, one thing and another. Why?"

"How old you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Young fellow, hey? I could use young fellow right now. In my business."

"Nice place you got here."

"Air. Is a nice. No fog, like in Los Angeles. No fog at all. Nice, a clear, all a time nice a clear."

"Must be swell at night. I can smell it now."

"Sleep fine. You understand automobile? Fix'm up?"

"Sure. I'm a born mechanic."

He gave me some more about the air, and how healthy he's been since he bought this place, and how he can't figure it out, why his help won't stay with him. I can figure it out, but I stay with the grub.

"Hey? You think you like it here?"

By that time I had put down the rest of the coffee, and lit the cigar he gave me. "I tell you how it is. I got a couple of other propositions, that's my trouble. But I'll think about it. I sure will do that all right."

###

Then I saw her. She had been out back, in the kitchen, but she came in to gather up my dishes. Except for the shape, she really wasn't any raving beauty, but she had a sulky look to her, and her lips stuck out in a way that made me want to mash them in for her.

End of page two.

How about it, folks ... turn the page?

=================

You can compose in any typeface you want. When it comes time to submit, submit your work in Courier 10 or 12 (unless the guidelines explicitly say something else).

===========

Plot and character are related, and influence one another. But they are not the same.

If you happen to come first to plot, or come first to character, relax. How you create is less important than that you create. Do what works for you.

No one but you will see your first draft. Come out with a unified whole, and you will have succeeded.

================

James D. Macdonald

07-20-2006, 01:33 AM

04/01/06 and following (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=205&pp=25).

They threw me off the hay truck about noon.

Great opening line. Introduces a character ("me") with action ("threw"). A play on naivity -- where someone might say "I didn't fall off the hay wagon last night," to mean that he isn't easily fooled, our narrator was literally thrown off a hay wagon. First person, past tense.

I had swung on the night before, down at the border, and as soon as I got up there under the canvas, I went to sleep.

A drifter. A tramp. He's getting around by informally hitching rides. Characterization, and location.

I needed plenty of that, after three weeks in Tia Juana, and I was still getting it when they pulled off to one side to let the engine cool.

More localization, more backstory, more characterization.

Then they saw a foot sticking out and threw me off.

He's careless. He's detected. Characterization.

I tried some comical stuff, but all I got was a dead pan, so that gag was out.

He's self-aware, and speaks in slang.

They gave me a cigarette, though, and I hiked down the road to find something to eat.

Characterization -- he manages to talk the unknown driver out of a cigarette. Our narrator can find a silver lining in some pretty grim circumstances. And he's an optimist. End of first paragraph. Short declarative sentences. Almost no description. The narrator doesn't care about anyone or anything but himself. Check the number of times he says "I."

That was when I hit this Twin Oaks Tavern.

A place. Non-standard English. The preceding paragraph told us how the narrator happened to be here -- pure random chance. The main location shows up in the first sentence of the second paragraph.

It was nothing but a roadside sandwich joint, like a million others in California.

Abbreviated description; we're in California. Probably southern California, since we know the narrator was coming up from the Mexican border.

There was a lunchroom part, and over that a house part, where they lived, and off to one side a filling station, and out back a half dozen shacks that they called an auto court.

Physical layout of the setting. No details; the reader can fill them in since there are a million just like it. An "auto court" is another name for a motel. Tourist cabins. The impression is bleak. New characters added: "they." Who "they" are is yet to be defined.

I blew in there in a hurry and began looking down the road. When the Greek showed, I asked if a guy had been by in a Cadillac.

The narrator is running a con. He's a natural play-actor. Who "the Greek" might be is undefined. Possibly one of the "they" from the last sentence.

He was to pick me up here, I said, and we were to have lunch.

We have a narrator who lies fluently, naturally, as his first choice. The story is being told by this narrator. That is to say, nothing is as it seems. The readers shouldn't believe a word he says.

Not today, said the Greek.

Indirect discourse.

He layed a place at one of the tables and asked me what I was going to have.

The Greek is apparently a waiter, perhaps the proprietor of this rundown gas-station-motel-lunch-counter somewhere in California.

I said orange juice, corn flakes, fried eggs and bacon, enchilada, flapjacks, and coffee.

In addition to not sleeping for three weeks, the narrator apparently didn't eat, either. Or, he asks for everything in hopes of getting something.

Pretty soon he came out with the orange juice and the corn flakes.

Not exactly what he asked for. End of second paragraph. Again, very short, simple sentences.

"Hold on, now. One thing I got to tell you. If this guy don't show up, you'll have to trust me for it. This was to be on him, and I'm kind of short myself."

The con is revealed. The narrator may have run this same swindle a thousand times before, at a thousand other lunch joints. First use of direct quotation in the story.

"Hokay, fill'm up."

I saw he was on, and quit talking about the guy in the Cadillac. Pretty soon I saw he wanted something.

The Greek knows he's being conned, and doesn't care. The narrator knows he knows, and stops even pretending. This is lovely characterization for both of 'em. The Greek speaks broken English, close to dialect.

"What you do, what kind of work, hey?"

"Oh, one thing and another, one thing and another. Why?"

"How old you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Young fellow, hey? I could use young fellow right now. In my business."

"Nice place you got here."

"Air. Is a nice. No fog, like in Los Angeles. No fog at all. Nice, a clear, all a time nice a clear."

"Must be swell at night. I can smell it now."

"Sleep fine. You understand automobile? Fix'm up?"

"Sure. I'm a born mechanic."

They're each lying to the other, for purposes unknown. I bet the Greek isn't there for the air, and I bet the narrator doesn't know the first thing about fixing cars. The narrator is a bum. The Greek is ... odd. Why does he need to expand on why he needs a young fellow? What could he possibly be talking about other than his business? Implies that the Greek is old.

He gave me some more about the air, and how healthy he's been since he bought this place, and how he can't figure it out, why his help won't stay with him. I can figure it out, but I stay with the grub.

Just like the Greek didn't buy the story about the guy in the Cadillac, the narrator isn't buying the story about the air. The narrator detects something about the Greek that means he would be a lousy boss. The readers aren't told, exactly, just that the narrator can figure out why no one wants to work for this guy.

"Hey? You think you like it here?"

There's the pitch. Notice that there are no dialog tags -- no "I said ... he said." No bits of business fiddling with coffee cups. No information about what the room looks like, where the door is, what color the tablecloths are (or even if there are tablecloths).

By that time I had put down the rest of the coffee, and lit the cigar he gave me. "I tell you how it is. I got a couple of other propositions, that's my trouble. But I'll think about it. I sure will do that all right."

Our narrator accepts the free meal, accepts a cigar (he's apparently good at bumming smokes -- he got a cigarette from the truck driver), and is on the verge of turning down the job offer. You know he's going to smoke that cigar and walk out and never look back. He's lying some more, though -- he doesn't have any other propositions. He's got no future at all except bumming from town to town and running penny-ante swindles. This is pure character building.

###

Linebreak. Change of scene. Even though we don't move an inch, and the time is about one second later.
Then I saw her.

A very simple sentence. It leads the new scene, and adds a new character: "her." "Her" has the position of power at the end of the sentence. So far we haven't learned a single name.

She had been out back, in the kitchen, but she came in to gather up my dishes.

Simple narration. Gives the person a job, a reason for being there. The other part of the "they" we were promised.

Except for the shape, she really wasn't any raving beauty, but she had a sulky look to her, and her lips stuck out in a way that made me want to mash them in for her.

The longest sentence so far. A beautiful shape, a sulky look, and lips. And "mash them in for her" is ambiguous. Does he want to kiss her, or punch her in the mouth? The overtone of violence is inescapable. And we are in the classic triangle by the end of page two. Plot has just arrived. The old husband, the young wife, and the glib young stranger.

Lies, poverty, violence, sex ... this is a dynamite setup. I don't see a wasted word in it.

==============

I wonder -- for most people, I assume that kind of tightness happens several rounds into revision?

Who knows? All that we know is that this is the final form.

All anyone ever sees is your last draft.

This is really a bravura example of minimalist writing. Later on, the author has pages on end of two and three person conversations, none of it with dialog tags.

It's a first novel.

==============

My question is, how do I determine whether my characters know or don't know if they're in a novel?

If they do or say things for no other reason than that the plot requires it, or the author needs to clue in the readers -- then they know they're characters in a novel.

"Fred, when you heard the mysterious noises downstairs why didn't you just call 9-1-1?"

"Because if I did this would have been a very short book."

###

"Bob, normal household current is 120 volt, 60 cycle AC. 'Cycle' and 'Hertz' mean the same thing."

"Fred, we've both been electricians for twenty years. I know this stuff, and you know I know it. Why are you telling me?"

"Maybe you know it, but the readers don't."

============

Where else would I insert all that info?

Ask yourself: is this information really necessary? If so, you might have a stranger who needs to have things explained as one of your characters. That's one of the functions Stephen Maturin plays in O'Brien's Aubrey novels. If he weren't there O'Brien would have needed to show 18th c. British sailors explaining rigging to one another, or left the readers hopelessly at sea.

The other problem is a bit more subtle. You need to have characters who have credible motives for everything they do. All other things being equal, your characters would rather be at home eating ice cream and watching late-night TV, rather than dangling by their thumbs over active volcanoes. It's up to you to provide that motivation, and make the readers believe it.

===========

I'd turn the page. In fact, I think I did, way back in school -- is this "The Postman Always Rings Twice"?

It is, indeed, The Postman Always B/r/i/n/g/s/ M/i/c/e/ Rings Twice (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=037541438X).

(For more fun, here's a first-lines quiz (http://www.eppsnet.com/quizzes/first-lines.aspx) (and a linked last-lines quiz (http://www.eppsnet.com/quizzes/last-lines.aspx)).)

================

Since a few months back, I've tried learning British punctuation and spelling(no, not much yet). And now, I'm not sure if I ought to stick to British or change to American. *totally and utterly confused*

Where do you live, and what markets are you considering submitting to?

==============

If you're planning to submit to American markets, use American punctuation. If you're planning to submit to British markets, use British punctuation. Or -- chose one, and just be consistent.

Work on making your story compelling.

============

If I recall correctly, the big differences between American and British punctuation are in the use of single and double quotes, and whether the period goes inside or outside of a close quote.

Really, just be consistent. That way search-and-replace will get 'em all when the time comes.

In fiction you can get farther out. The usual genius exception applies. (The farther away from the norm you are, the closer to genius the work must be.)

=========

Nothing wrong with 3rd omniscient. It's just notoriously hard to do well.

==========

Here's some discussion about the author's role in publicizing their own books:

http://justinelarbalestier.com/blog/?p=300

Pray notice this reply from a very senior editor:

Look, what I meant is that the one irreducible thing that’s every writer’s job is the writing.

Some writers can contribute to the selling of their work as well, and they want to, and their publishers agree and are willing to support them in this.

Some writers can contribute to the selling of their work, and they want to, and their publishers don’t agree, so nothing happens.

Some writers can contribute to the selling of their work as well, but they _don’t_ want to, but their publishers pressure them into tryng it anyway.

Some writers can contribute to the selling of their work as well, but they don’t want to, and their publishers are fine with this.

Some writers are very ineffective at selling their work, but they want to, and their publisher wants them to and is willing to send them out into the world, where they proceed to do significant damage to their reputations.

Some writers are very ineffective at selling their work, but they want to, but their publishers (thankfully for all involved) manage to talk them out of it.

Some writers are very ineffective at selling their work, and they KNOW this about themselves, but their publishers insist on sending them out into the world, with predictably successful results… Etc., etc., etc. You can work out the remaining permutations as well as I can.

Meanwhile, you challenge me to “Tell that to the writers who get heavy pressure from their publishers to do book tours etc.” Okay. Send me their names and I’ll “tell that to” them.

The plain fact is, some writers have accurate self-knowledge and some don’t. Some publishers have good judgement about who ought to be sent out to publicize their own work and some don’t. Everybody’s an idiot a good part of the time. There’s no substitute for using your own judgement. And RWA-style categorical assertions about what authors HAVE TO do or MUST come to terms with are, by and large, wise-guy ********. There are no accurate formulas, and the maps get redrawn every day.

================

There isn't a standard for synopses.

The one I use is for the classic three-and-an-outline. About ten pages of outline is what I tend to do.

If I were sending a query letter, I'd more likely send two pages at most.

----

You can absolutely mention forthcoming works in your query letters.

=============

Was the questionmark part of the phrase he was quoting?

Personally, I'd go with "Which one is 'right'?" he asked, and ignore it thereafter, because the publisher will change it to house style regardless of which you choose. Just be consistent.

=============

I'm going to be doing a live chat here tonight at 9:00 pm EDT.

http://www.starchat.net/chat/?chan=absolutewrite

The channel is #absolutewrite

============

Shucks, we have a dinner party at friends house. I always miss the good stuff.

Uncle James, "The Apocalypse Door" was very good. Thanks for a good read.

Thanks.

I'm sure there'll be a transcript.

=============

His breath steamed and he stamped his feet.

=============

How books make money (http://alg.livejournal.com/84032.html)

=============

A lovely article on written techniques as seen from a game-developer's point of view:

http://www.gamasutra.com/features/20060426/noyle_01.shtml

Those who need to see examples of what we mean by many of these things can see 'em here.

===============

I'm back, having driven 2,846.3 miles since last Wednesday morning. My elder son is now a Mechanical Engineer with a diploma to prove it. He's going to grad school (http://www.etc.cmu.edu/) in the fall.

My own opinion on stickiness: If the thread isn't active enough to be on the first page, it doesn't deserve to be on the first page. (When it sinks off the page, that's a reminder to me that I need to post.)

The page-one-hundred rule (not so much a rule as a guideline): If you're writing War And Peace, or the Bible, you can introduce major characters later on. There are other special circumstances. Examine your story. If it's better with a major character introduced nearer to the end, then it's better.

Be very sure that it's better. (Your beta readers will tell you.)

==============

I might also set aside another time in the morning or afternoon to BIC a second time in the day. I find that my productivity is outstanding when I sit with Butt In Chair, doing nothing but writing.

Do what's comfortable for you.

Later, you'll want to set aside time to do an hour of original writing, and an hour of editing/rewriting an earlier work.

An hour here, an hour there. It adds up.

==============

Go, you! If you don't have the clay you can't make the pot.

==============

Nope, no rule that I'm aware of.

Fool with it. It's okay to try several different ways in different drafts in order to see which works best.

===============

Off to go over the copyedit on Mist and Snow. The cover art is spectacular -- I hope to have permission to show it to y'all soon.

==============

James D. Macdonald

07-20-2006, 02:06 AM

06/08/06 and following.

The answer to the question "How many words are on the page in a printed book?" is "How many do you want?" The book's designer controls it and balances printing costs against readability.

=============

George Orwell's rules of writing:

(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
(ii) Never us a long word where a short one will do.
(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.
(v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
(vi) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

They come from "Politics and the English Language (http://www.mtholyoke.edu/acad/intrel/orwell46.htm)." The sixth and last is especially important.

=================

Andrew, do two or more of the characters serve the same purpose in the story? If so, combine them.

The viewpoint character does not have to be active, merely the best-suited to seeing the action in a given scene.

What are those scenes meant to accomplish? What's your overall story? Those things I can't answer. If you can see them clearly, then cut close and accomplish your purpose.

=================

As for those rules above, I don't think Stephen King ever read them. Well, that's not exactly true; he may have read them but he ignores tham flat-out. Every single one them. Even the sixth.

Gee, he never breaks the rules? Who'd a thunk?

The thing about writing rules is this: They aren't rules. They're guidelines. You do have to know where the lines are, but if you need to color outside of them, please do so. The master rule is if it works, it's right. Yes, you can break that rule too, but don't expect anyone but mom to love your story if you do.

==============

My personal rule is, the three most recent/most prestigious sales. All to the same market, to different markets ... that doesn't matter to me. The idea is to show "I'm writing at a professional level; a professional sent me money."

=============

There wasn't that much stetted, Duncan -- even though the copy editor apparently was confused that a vessel could be described as both having twelve guns and having a broadside of six guns. (She's a sloop of war, special experimental construction, during the American Civil War.)

And Dawno -- thank you. I haven't yet been through this thread to be sure it's all here. The day will come, I'm sure. I've also heard from several people suggesting turning this thread into a book. I think I'll follow up on that.

(One place where I put up the tip jar, and mourned the loss of this thread, was here: http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/UncleJim.html Y'all can help support AW by buying a book from that page. The commisssions go to Jenna.)

============

Oh -- Dawno has made some nice Learn Writing with Uncle Jim tee-shirts. (http://www.cafepress.com/ohdawnos.59770619) (Available in a variety of colors and styles (http://www.cafepress.com/ohdawnos).)

Income from these shirts goes to support Absolute Write. Buy one! Better still, buy a dozen! They make excellent gifts....

==============

How to determine if you are keeping a handle on the word "had" in 3rd person fiction. If there is already a reference to it--just point me that way.

The way I'd check on 'had' (or other words/word choices): Stand in your living room and read the book out loud. If something sounds funny to you, put a checkmark in the margin and move on. Smooth out those bits later.

Things that sound wrong -- probably are.

=============

A bit of a brag: Paul Melko (Viable Paradise VI), just sold a novel, Singularity's Rising, to Tor.

================

Two things: first, elsewhere in AW I posted this, and I thought I'd share it here:

A writin' man walked out one day in a caffeine-powered funk
And by a postbox rested while he thought about his bunk
When all at once a mighty crowd of hopeful authors came
A-trailin' dreams of bylines and a bit of local fame.

Paragraph change! Paragraph STET! Ghost writers in the sky.

Their eyes were red, their hair uncombed, they all wore mismatched socks,
They fixed their hungry eyes upon that silent letter box.
Some had gone with Barb'ra Bauer, and others with ST,
And one of them had even signed with the Robins Agency.

Paragraph change! Paragraph STET! Ghost writers in the sky.

The authors most ignored him, but one tried to engage:
"If you want to save your soul from Hell a-scribblin' on a page,
Then writer change your ways today or someday you will be
Wond'ring why you never sold -- and why you paid a fee."

-------------

Second, the question about cash from the Amazon book sales.

No, the authors didn't agree to anything. The way it works is this: if you have an Amazon Affilliate account, Amazon pays a percentage of any book sales they make that came to them through your link. Amazon gets a tiny bit less profit from the sale, but in return they get links to Amazon all over the Web. They figure it's a fair tradeoff.

Those books have Absolute Write's affiliate code on 'em -- so the commission paid by Amazon for the sales goes to AW.

=================

Are all 120,000 words going to be the exactly right words?

Make the book the best you can ... then write another one.

===================

"Things happen" is pretty much the definition of plot. More stuff happening is better (usually) than less stuff happening (unless you're Marcel Proust).

But ... when you say something takes away from the climax, that's a hint that maybe it doesn't belong in your book. Anything that doesn't move the story forward holds it back.

Cut ruthlessly. You'll still have the original version in case you need to go back and reinsert some scenes.

Then let it sit for a bit, read it out loud, do a re-write ... then hand it over to your beta readers.

And start a new book, while it's sitting.

====================

That's one of the reasons I recommend that you read your book out loud.

====================

What do you think I should do when I get it all done?
Submit it and start writing another book, silly.

"He could feel the icey cold branches....on his neck....and he turned....to look....and then.....he SAW IT.....the hand of death."

Oh, gee ... when did you get a look at my current WIP?

================

If you're submitting it to one of the same places again, either use a new title, or put in the cover letter that this is a substantially revised and expanded version.

===========

I'm a bit unclear on what exactly you mean.

============

It's a work of fiction, right? Are you 100% sure that some lone genius in the year 1214 didn't put 'em all together?

I wouldn't put in a notice about that. Novels aren't meant to be textbooks.

Now it's true that readers of, say, historical romances will snark at you if you have your characters waltzing two years before the dance was introduced in a particular area, and firearms enthusiasts will wax wroth if you give your Colt Commander .45 semi-automatic pistol right-hand rifling ... unless the point of your story was What If the Waltz Had Been Introduced Early or What If the .45 Had A Right-Hand Twist? "What If" is one of the great story-generating engines.

You might want to read a couple of alternate histories.

==============

Short scenes.

Dialog.

================

Please, don't mix tenses.

Of course, you can do anything at all in dialog -- it reveals character.

If it's vital that the readers know that Fred is still the narrator's best friend, you could say something like:

"He was my best friend -- still is."

Or, you could fudge it:

"He's my best friend."

Ask yourself if it's important that the readers know that this person not only was but still is the narrator's friend. Ask yourself if the readers care. Be ruled accordingly.

================

I fear that those sentences do, indeed, sound awkward. Please think very carefully before mixing tenses.

==================

"I dunno, it just feels right" is the place where you should be when writing. Your subconscious will guide you; your characters come to life and surprise you; the right ending (as opposed to the one you planned) will appear.

Meanwhile:

Saturday I saw a Reader's Theatre (minimal sets and costumes, actors have the script in their hands and read it) performance of G. B. Shaw's How He Lied To Her Husband. (http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext02/lied210.txt)

May I recommend it to everyone here as a wonderful example of Not A Word Wasted? This is a one-act farce, and carries itself marvelously a hundred years after it was first produced.

==============

Is so, are there exercises that you do or did that helped this?

I retyped a heck of a lot of other writers' published material, to get the feel of it into my hands.

===============

What did you take away from the experience, Jim?

Where and how characters are introduced, paragraph rhythm, word-choice, punctuation ... if you try to write like your favorite author, you won't, exactly, because you're different people, but your own writing will be better.

When you're training for the race, it helps that your training partner is a bit faster than you, because that way you'll really stretch your legs.

================

Now, I am off to read, write and do more homework. I will get this novel (novella?? - don't know yet) finished before the end of the year!

Go, you!

==============

James D. Macdonald

05-02-2008, 09:27 PM

Beginning 07-03-2006 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=628979&postcount=5234):

Thanks, Andrew.

The remaining three days, where I reveal the Next Big Thing, the Secret Handshake, and Five Things Editors Don't Want You To Know, must remain forever shrouded in silence.

Those who read them in time ... see you on the best seller list.

---------

Dialog is privileged. That means that you can do anything at all in dialog.

Dune was science fiction. The difference between "literary" and "commercial" is the label that the publisher puts on the spine.

I've gotten burned every time I've commented on works over in Share Your Work, so, alas, I must decline.

---------

I'd remembered writing this post -- but couldn't find it. At last, this morning, it turned up on a search for something else. So here, moved from another AW thread, is: Reserve Against Returns!

===============

The question is probably going to come up, so I might as well explain it now.

When a normal publisher publishes a book, and it's offered for sale through bookstores, that book isn't really sold until it goes out the door under a customer's arm. The other books are returned, to make way for still newer releases.

So ... how does the publisher handle paying royalties when the publisher doesn't know how many will come back to the warehouse?

This is handled with a process called "reserve against returns." The reserve is the number that you don't get paid for, just in case they come back.

Publishers don't tell you exactly what their reserves are -- but as it happens I know at least one publisher uses this formula:

The first royalty period after the book is released, the reserve against returns is 100%. Maybe they printed 30,000 copies, and maybe bookstores ordered 20,000 of them -- but they aren't going to cut a check to you for royalties on 20,000 copies. They assume that ever single one of them will be returned.

Let's say that royalty months are April and November (which again is pretty standard). Let's say the book came out in July, that the cover price is $10, and the royalty rate is 10%. And let's say the author gets a $5,000 advance against 10%. (I'm choosing these numbers for ease of math, not because they're necessarily real.)

And let's say that 10,000 copies sold (actually went out the door with customers, 30% sell-through) of the 20,000 that shipped.

Right, then.

Comes November, and those 10,000 copies would be a $5,000 check for Joe Author ($10,000 in royalties minus the $5,000 advance) but he gets a royalty statement showing $0.00 due, because of the reserve against returns.

At this particular publisher the reserve against returns is 100% in the first royalty period, and 75% in the second. And let's say that another 5,000 copies of Joe's book sold in the six months from November through April. So ... Joe would have $15K coming, but .... reserve against returns is 75%, so only $3,750 is credited to him. Subtract that from the advance, and his royalty statement says that he still has $1,250 in unearned advance.

From May through October, books get returned by one bookstore, ordered by another, and an additional 5,000 that have gone out the bookstore door in a shopping bag.

Total actually sold, to date: 20,000 (66% sell-through). This time around the publisher's reserve against returns is 25%. 25% of 20,000 is 5,000 books. So the publisher only reports a total to date of 15,000 sold, for total royalties of $15,000, minus the $3,750 already credited to him, minus the $1,250 in unearned advance, so Joe gets a check for $10,000. Happy day! He's earned out!

Now in the fourth royalty period after the book came out, the reserve against returns is 0%. Books have gone out, been returned, been redistributed, sold, and another 5,000 have been bought and paid for by readers.

So far: 25,000 sold. Royalties due, $25,000. Finally, we've gotten out from under the dead horse. In April two years after his book came out, Joe Author gets paid $25,000 minus the $10,000 he was already paid, for a nice $15,000 royalty check.

After this, the reserve against returns continues at 0% -- if 5,000 books ship during those six months, the publisher pays royalties for 5,000. (And by this point they have a pretty fair idea of how many will sell, because they have a history, and at this point, with 25,000 sold out of an initial press run of 30,000 (83% sell-through) they'll probably have gone back to press. Do you know what a 100% sell-through means? It means the publisher didn't print enough copies.)

So, reserve against returns at this one publisher: 100%, 75%, 25%, 0%. It takes you two solid years to get to the place where you're getting royalties as they happen. Normally, since you got an advance, this isn't that major a problem. You're living off the advance while the reserve against returns is catching up. It protects the publisher, and you do want to protect the publisher: If they stay in business that means they'll buy more of your books.

(Among other unrealistic things in this story: I set the advance low for a book that was going to be printed in those numbers. I wanted to show a book earning out because I'm a sucker for happy endings.)

---------

What percentage of books earn back their advance?

Don't know exactly, but my guess would be around a quarter of them.

For an average professional writer (yeah, there probably isn't an average...) what percentage earns out?

Probabaly about a quarter of them.

Is the first incidence of not earning out the last time the publisher will work with the author?

Gracious no! Publishers start showing a profit long before earn-out. The usual thing is for the publisher to try to guess how many will sell, and try to set the advance equal to the total expected royalties. That way they don't have to run around cutting checks every six months. The payments to the author are the smallest part of the book's expenses.

The system is designed so that most books won't earn out. That 25% represents when the publisher guessed wrong.

(And what does not earning out mean to you, as an author? Just that you were paid for your sales at a higher-than-contracted-for royalty rate.)

Do the big names ever have books that don't earn out?

Sure. All the time. Unless the advance is negotiated low (usually for tax purposes, to spread the income out into multiple years).

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Page 211 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=211)

---------

I was under the impression that only a small fraction of books showed a profit for the publisher.

That's a misapprehension by folks who aren't in the business who hear "a quarter earn out" and think that means "only a quarter make a profit." I've seen folks claim that editors are all incompetent because they guess wrong three quarters of the time about what books the public wants. Usually it's the people who haven't managed to sell a book who tell you this.

---------

No, you shouldn't be doing dialect. To differentiate your characters, play with word choice and sentence rhythm.

May I again suggest James M. Cain's The Postman Always Rings Twice as a master example of characters identifiable through their dialog? There are long swatches of two-and-three person dialog with no tags where nevertheless we have no trouble keeping who's speaking straight.

The baseline to doing it is this: The characters must be distinct in your mind.

(Oh, and everyone go pre-order The Land of Mist and Snow (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0060819197). Coming out on December 1, which means it's actually gonna be available in the last two weeks of November. An excellent holiday gift for all the folks on your list! It's got action, adventure, romance, mystery, sex, violence, the American Civil War and a demented paleographer. Everything that a good book should have. You need a copy for every room in your house, and one for your car. Hard winter coming ... you'll want to lay in eight or ten cords of 'em.)

---------

I'll be away for the weekend at Readercon:

http://www.readercon.org/program.htm

9:00 pm Friday: Fitting Character to Plot
12:30 pm Saturday: Reading from The Land of Mist and Snow
10:00 am Sunday: Kaffeeklatch
12:00 noon Sunday: Social Class and Speculative Fiction
1:00 pm Sunday: Viable Paradise Writers' Workshop presentation

During the course of the weekend, my daughter informs me that we will be seeing Pirates of the Caribbean II. I also intend to see if there's any Indian food to be had in the area.

I may or may not be logging in here.

---------

Eat some saag for Sailor.

Actually, I was planning on vindaloo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM6wRt0V878&search=vindaloo).

---------

The publisher decides what logo to put on the spine, which tells the bookstore what section to shelve your book in, which is where they think it'll have the greatest sales.

The same book might be marketed as crime, romance, or literary ... depending one where the sales would be best. Don't worry about that. Worry about writing the best book you can.

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Page 212 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=212)

---------

If you cut out the parts that the readers are going to skip anyway, you lose nothing.

You are not different: you have to do whatever works.

---------

Like any other spice, "said" words other than "said" should be applied with a light hand.

---------

Someday I'll be able to just relax and read again.

Didn't anyone warn you? Becoming a writer ruins you as a reader.

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Page 213

(http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=213) ---------

How often does this occur in fiction?

Often enough. Neither the Continental Op in Dashiel Hammet's stories, nor the English spy in Len Deighton's novels, ever gets a name, for example.

---------

Oh, as long as we're looking at first chapters of my books -- we just got the cover art for Land of Mist and Snow (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0060819197).

http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/mistsnow_med.jpg (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/Mistsnow1.htm)

I've posted the first chapter on-line at my web page (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/) (click on the cover). I might do a line-by-line on it here.

---------

As far as descriptions, what we know about the Continental Op is that he's overweight. About the English spy, we know that he wears glasses.

And those only come up when it's relevant to the plot.

---------

I end chapter one (as of now) with "It worked great for five years. Then he got a visitor that changed everything."
And go into chap two.

Great first-chapter close. Cut "Then he got a visitor...."

Start off chapter two with the visitor knocking on his door. Continue from there, slow pace gradually picking up to the chapter two cliffhanger.

Get your copy of Magic and Showmanship and study the chapter on routining an act.

---------

This might be a bad idea, but my first instinct would be to open chapter two with the classic "FIVE YEARS LATER..."

Probably not your best idea. We can get the idea that five years have passed in other, more subtle ways (which still advance plot, support theme, and reveal character).

Meanwhile ... back at the ranch ...

One reason for the sudden flurry on Mist and Snow is that we've just gotten the galleys back; we have 'til the 27th to read and correct them.

Here are the first two typeset pages (line by line anon):

In late January of 1863 I was an idler, assigned to the War Department office at 88 Whitehall Street in the city of New York after my ship, USS Tisdale, burned when the Rebels took Norfolk.

Time weighed heavily upon me. The war, which some had at first expected to be over in a matter of weeks -- or a few months at most -- would soon be entering its third year, and I could not fail to perceive that matters stood at a most perilous juncture. In the west, the free movement of our forces up and down the Mississippi still broke upon the rock that was Confederate-held Vicksburg; to the east and south, in the Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico, Rebel commerce raiders and blockade runners ranged freely. Everywhere, my brother officers were gaining rank and experiencing sea-time, whether in gunboats on the inland waterways or in more conventional warships on the open seas, maintaining the blockade and chasing Confederate raiders.

Meanwhile, I sat filing papers in an obscure office. President Lincoln had freed all the slaves in Rebel territory. My daily hope was that some similar edict would arrive to free me from my own labors. From my window overlooking the harbor, I could watch the Navy's vessels come and go -- a species of keen torture, since I feared that such a long period of shore duty would see my career stalled, if not derailed entirely, the ultimate goal of command at sea forever placed beyond my reach.

So it was that on the morning of January 31st a messenger found me laboring at my desk, checking one long bureaucratic list against another. He had an envelope from the Navy Department in his hand, with my name on the front. I fairly tore the envelope from his grasp and opened it.

What it contained was indeed the answer to my nightly prayer. I was detached immediately from my current assignment and ordered to travel by fastest available means to the Naval Arsenal at Watervliet. There I was to inspect and take possession of a dozen ten-inch Rodman guns, thence to accompany them to the place where USS Nicodemus might lie, in order to take my position as head of her gunnery department. Nicodemus was new construction; I would be a plank owner. I was further informed that Nicodemus was even then being fitted out in preparation for her sea trials.

The remainder of the morning I spent in checking out of my temporary billet, drawing my health and pay records, and turning over my responsibilities to a hapless civilian clerk.

As usual, the game is this: Would you turn the page?

---------

With apologies to Uncle Jim, I would close with "Then he got a visitor."

This comes precious close to telling when you could be showing.

"It worked great for five years," is a version of "what with this and that some five years passed," which is valid.

---------

This is going to be a bit different from the usual, because I know a bit more about what was going on in the author's mind. So I'll indulge a bit.

In late January of 1863 I was an idler, assigned to the War Department office at 88 Whitehall Street in the city of New York after my ship, USS Tisdale, burned when the Rebels took Norfolk.

We start off with a super-sentence -- a single-sentence paragraph. I'm trying to set a 19th century voice, a more florid and leisurely narrative style than is common now. Thus "of 1863" rather than plain "1863," and "city of New York" rather than "New York City." (Alas, I was unable to convince either my co-author nor the editor that New-York should properly be hyphenated.)

The War Department building was, indeed, at 88 Whitehall St, New York City. This had personal meaning for me -- I'd been there, back when it was still in its Civil War dress; it's where I got my induction physical when I joined the Navy, so I know exactly what it looked like and where it is situated, and what you could see from its windows. I didn't actually describe it in the novel, but the fact I could still see (and smell) it -- helped me out.

This paragraph is setting the scene, and filling in details of the American Civil War for folks who slept through history class.

This also brings me to my first large whopper: there was no USS Tisdale involved in the American Civil War. The name actually belongs to a WWII destroyer escort. There are several compressions here, too: the Union burned the Gosport Shipyard in Portsmouth when the Rebels took Norfolk in 1861, shortly after the attack on Fort Sumter. The Rebels burned the same navy yard in 1862, when the Federals retook Norfolk. The first burning of the Gosport yards left USS Merrimack burned to the waterline; she was later raised and converted into CSS Virginia (famous for fighting USS Monitor in the Battle of Hampton Roads).

The Battle of Hampton Roads would have taken place a year before the events in the story we're telling here; it's never mentioned. That's because in this world (an alternate history/secret history), it never took place. Instead, the duel between two unusual ships forms the core of our story. So where we are in the first paragraph: A ship that never existed is named, while a battle that actually took place is not. Still, the shadow of the Monitor and the Merrimack lies long across our tale. We're in 1863 in order to allow time for events in our story to have unfolded. 1862 wouldn't have allowed enough time to pass after the start of the war to do everything that I had to do, as will be revealed in the course of the narrative. (The other Civil War ship duel that's heavily referenced is CSS Alabama vs. USS Kearsarge, two more vessels that are never mentioned, even though they were both active during this period.)

History is the fantasy author's secret weapon; those are the sources I'm using.

I trust that the term "idler" is obvious from context; it's someone who doesn't stand watches.

Time weighed heavily upon me.

After that super-sentence, a short sentence for rhythm.

The war, which some had at first expected to be over in a matter of weeks -- or a few months at most -- would soon be entering its third year, and I could not fail to perceive that matters stood at a most perilous juncture.

For the folks who hadn't stayed awake in American History.

In the west, the free movement of our forces up and down the Mississippi still broke upon the rock that was Confederate-held Vicksburg; to the east and south, in the Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico, Rebel commerce raiders and blockade runners ranged freely.

More brief history -- enough so the readers will know what's going on. The hunt for blockade runners and raiders forms most of the rest of the book. (Vicksburg will be mentioned again in the last chapter.)

Everywhere, my brother officers were gaining rank and experiencing sea-time, whether in gunboats on the inland waterways or in more conventional warships on the open seas, maintaining the blockade and chasing Confederate raiders.

Motive and discontent for our narrator. Reveals him to be an ambitious man. So ends this paragraph, again with a very long sentence. Our narrator will soon be at sea in a very unconventional warship.

Meanwhile, I sat filing papers in an obscure office.

Short sentence for rhythm. Alliteration for emphasis. The ambition theme again.

President Lincoln had freed all the slaves in Rebel territory.

On 1 January 1863, thirty days before the narrative commences. A bit more history, and anchoring to time.

My daily hope was that some similar edict would arrive to free me from my own labors.

Ambitious, self-centered, given to exageration.

From my window overlooking the harbor, I could watch the Navy's vessels come and go -- a species of keen torture, since I feared that such a long period of shore duty would see my career stalled, if not derailed entirely, the ultimate goal of command at sea forever placed beyond my reach.

Back to the very long sentences, the ship theme pointed up. As far as torture goes, he isn't really being tortured. Certainly not in the same way as the slaves he compares himself with in the previous sentence. We're also setting up the ending here -- John Nevis will get command at sea before this book is over. Foreshadowing the climax, right on page one. End of paragraph, a position of power.

So it was that on the morning of January 31st a messenger found me laboring at my desk, checking one long bureaucratic list against another.

Finally, our story is about to start. Something happens. (Also, fixing the date. Dates are going to be important from now on.) Some attitude toward his job. This was, in fact, a Saturday morning. But then, the five-day work week wasn't invented until 1908, and didn't go nation-wide until 1940.

He had an envelope from the Navy Department in his hand, with my name on the front. I fairly tore the envelope from his grasp and opened it.

Now that we're out of setup the sentences are shorter, to speed up the pace. 19th century word choice and word order.

What it contained was indeed the answer to my nightly prayer.

Our narrator is the sort of person who says his prayers every night. This is, in fact, an important plot point, and will be repeated several times. LT Nevis had been chosen for one quality; and he was (though he does not know it) stashed at 88 Whitehall St. to make sure he didn't get his silly head blown off, so that he can serve his purpose on board his new ship. He'll learn that sometimes you don't want to have your prayers answered.

I was detached immediately from my current assignment and ordered to travel by fastest available means to the Naval Arsenal at Watervliet.

I have no idea if that's how orders read in the 19th century, but that's sure how they read today. There was, and is, a naval arsenal at Watervliet (just north of Albany, along the Hudson).

There I was to inspect and take possession of a dozen ten-inch Rodman guns, thence to accompany them to the place where USS Nicodemus might lie, in order to take my position as head of her gunnery department.

Super-sentence. Much longer than my usual, but again, I feel, necessary for the impression of pre-Hemingway prose. Much of this language is cribbed from the standard phrases in modern Naval orders.

There was no USS Nicodemus, either. Rodmans were a variety of cannon, very similar to the earlier Dahlgrens (which USS Monitor and USS Kearsarge mounted). Climax technology for smoothbore muzzle-loaders. The name Nicodemus comes from an Abolutionist song, "Wake Nicodemus." While it was important to me to know this, the readers don't need to know, and are never told. Nicodemus is a Biblical name; Nicodemus the Pharisee was associated in John with the phrase "born again," and the Gospel of Nicodemus (an apocryphal Gospel) tells about the Harrowing of Hell (another theme in this book). Nicodemus is involved in the spirit, and water. Spirits and water are going to be themes.

Nicodemus was new construction; I would be a plank owner.

A definition demanded by my co-author who argued that civilians wouldn't have a clue what a plank owner was. Verges on as-you-know-Bob dialog.

I was further informed that Nicodemus was even then being fitted out in preparation for her sea trials.

It's the exposition. It has to go somewhere.

The remainder of the morning I spent in checking out of my temporary billet, drawing my health and pay records, and turning over my responsibilities to a hapless civilian clerk.

What with this and that some hours passed. More insistence on paperwork. (Books, papers, manuscripts, orders, logs ... writing will form a major theme. ) "Clerk" is braced up with two adjectives, partly to show our narrator's attitude, partly to show how trivial his assignment had been up to now. But mostly to get "clerk" noticed. "Clerk" is a form of "cleric." Until now our lad had been acting as a cleric.

Purely by chance, page two ends with the end of that paragraph.

---------

You can get a copy here: http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Apocalypse-Door_W0QQprZ1696625QQtgZinfo

---------

James D. Macdonald

05-03-2008, 12:55 AM

Page 214 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=214)

07-17-2006 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=659327&postcount=5330)

A far more interesting sentence from A Visit From Saint Nicholas is:

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

--------

I have a sign on my office door:

No, I don't know what's for dinner. I don't care what's on TV. Unless someone is actively bleeding, vomiting, or unconscious, I don't want to hear about it.

A change of scene sometimes helps. Is there a coffeeshop or library nearby where you can go plunk yourself down, either for reading or writing?

--------

I don't ever remember reading a book in first person that ever moved that 1st person view to someone else.

You might check out Frankenstein: It's first person, but it's three nested first persons: Robert Walton (the Arctic explorer) in first person relating the first-person narrative of Victor Frankenstein, who relates the first-person narrative of the Creature.

You can do anything at all, provided you do it well. Your readers will tell you if you've done it well.

Epistolary novels in general have multiple first-person viewpoint characters.

--------

Sell just the one book. That book needs to have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

If that first book doesn't sell it won't have any sequels.

I originally posted that a year ago.

Just recently I was chatting with an editor at Major New York Publisher (and not the one you're thinking of, either). The editor said, "I'm sick of trilogies! I never want to see another trilogy! If you can't tell your story in one book I don't want to see it!"

Or words to that effect.

Perhaps it had been a trying day in the slush mines. (Interestingly enough, this editor works on a line that only takes agented manuscripts. But there is such a thing as agented slush.)

--------

Where have all the fantasists gone?
Long time passing....
Where have all the fantasists gone?
Long time ago....
Where have all the fantasists gone?
Gone to trilogies every one.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn.

--------

I think we'll start seeing a lot fewer trilogies starting in 2008 or so.

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Page 215 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=215)

I"ll be on the radio, talking about publishing, publishing scams, vanity presses, and PublishAmerica.

6 August 2006, noon to one pm Central Daylight Time. On http://www.am990.com (http://www.am990.com/) for streaming feed. 990 on your AM dial if you happen to be in the Memphis, Little Rock (Arkansas), and Jackson (Tennessee) area.

Special treat: We've dug up a PublishAmerica author who likes PublishAmerica!

--------

Puctuation around dialog is heavily nation-and-language dependent. Dama, if I recall correctly you're in Mexico?

Regardless of what you do, be consistent. And make darned sure you're telling a compelling story.

--------

What I'm saying is that if something's a bad habit that you're eventually going to want to kick, don't associate it with your writing. Lighting a candle doesn't cause heart attacks, cancer, or cirrhosis.

--------

Very few people know how to use semicolons correctly.

Don't confuse your readers. Don't knock them out of the story while they're trying to figure out what this particular set of black marks on white paper means. Sure, you can replace quote marks and other punctuation marks with one dingbat or another, but why?

Oh, while we're here: a lovely review of a literary novel (http://www.pathetic-caverns.com/books/h/stewart_home.html).

--------

As far as colons and semicolons: no, they aren't as important as other bits of grammar, but yes, they are important. Strive to use them correctly; you'll be rewarded. I don't see any advantage in abusing any of your tools.

As to the serial comma, I'm a believer. Without the serial comma we get barbarisms such as I dedicate this book to my parents, Ayn Rand and God.

Others may not believe in the serial comma and house style will overrule you. Just be consistent.

--------

Theme, like so much else in writing, is something that I can only define by example.

Earlier on I offered this, in re Dickens' A Christmas Carol:

Plot: Scrooge is visited by four increasingly scary spirits. Story: A sinner is redeemed. Theme: Charity.

--------

On bad habits and writing -- from the folksong Nottingham Ale (tune is Lilliburlero):

Ye poets who pray on the Hellican brook
The nectar of Gods and the juice of the vine,
You say none can write well except they invoke
The friendly assistance of one of the Nine.
This liquor surpasses the streams of Parnassus
That nectar, Ambrosia, on which Gods regale
Experience will show it, naught makes a good poet
Like quantum sufficients of Nottingham Ale.

--------

Theme is something that will grow naturally out of your storytelling. I wouldn't attempt to impose it from the beginning. Later, when revising, discovering the theme can help you sharpen the story, help guide you in making choices in what to keep and what to cut, help you discover what new scenes must be added, how characters will react.

Sitting down and saying "I'm going to write a story about Love!" gets you not an inch closer to telling that story. Having re-read your story and saying "Y'know, this story is about Love" will help you decide if that scene in the Shamrock Pub really belongs.

--------

We got the cover flat for Mist and Snow (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060819197/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/). Full text (including sales information for bookstores and sales reps) is here: http://webnews.sff.net/read?cmd=read&group=sff.people.doyle-macdonald&artnum=20938

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Page 217 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=217)

07-30-2006

Welcome, lovetowrite, and thank you.

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I'm not convinced that theme needs to be mentioned at all in a query letter.

What does need to be mentioned: word count and genre. Any special qualifications you have for writing this book. Previous publications and awards (limit yourself to the three most recent/most prestigious).

If they ask for a synopsis, follow their guidelines on that. Brief is good.

--------

Once again, a plug for Uncle Jim on the Radio.

Here's the information: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=693081&postcount=3863

Short version: http://www.am990.com at noon Central time, tomorrow the 6th of August.

I particularly invite any of our friends who are, or are contemplating being, published by PublishAmerica to tune in.

--------

On the air in fifteen minutes.

--------

No idea, Liam. I'll be sure to let everyone know.

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Uh-oh! Looks like I ticked off some scam agent or vanity publisher!

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&isbn=0812517067&itm=1

Jim, A reviewer, August 2, 2006, *

--------

Here's the original post: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82322&postcount=35

I'm happy that you're finding it useful.

--------

Deliberately bad? Perhaps. They're outlines, for heaven's sake: not a novel, the blueprint for one. They're where I find out if a particular plot arc is going anywhere, or if a character works. And where else could I write the scene where Harry Houdini escapes from a milk can full of maple syrup? It was fun to write, even if it never appeared anywhere. "Fun" is a big part of the experience for me.

(Our short story, "Nobody Has To Know," incidentally, is an unedited chunk of one of my outlines. My coauthor took it, added linebreaks, and submitted it. It was published in Vampires (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060502223/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/), Jane Yolen, ed.)

Ken: what went before might have been fascinating in its own right, but It Isn't Part Of This Story. The Mystery of the Flying Express was worth a novel of its own, but it isn't part of The Clue of the Broken Blade, and is disposed of in a single sentence in the latter work.

BTW, for everyone: Leigh Grossman (author, editor, packager) is writing a series of posts elsewhere on the web on How Publishing Works. The latest episode is on Agents, and it's here: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/8/7/122232/1998

(Leigh has the good sense to quote me several places in his series.)

--------

If the backstory takes up a third of the novel -- it isn't backstory.

--------

Is it part of the novel, or is it possibly another story....

Yes.

James D. Macdonald

11-21-2009, 10:17 AM

Page 218 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=218)
08-08-2006, 02:00 PM (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=709554&postcount=5428)

I'll be Away from the computer for a week or so.

Keep writing!

--------------

Hi, all.

Not really back yet; a million things to do.

Q: So tell me, Uncle Jim, what's a six-day hike on the Appalachian Trail in the White Mountains like?

A: Imagine six days on a Stairmaster...with rain.

-------------

"When you lie back and close your eyes you sometimes see 'floaties,' right?"

"Yeah."

"They aren't supposed to look like mosquito wrigglers, are they?"

"Don't think so."

"Probably shouldn't look like paramecium reproducing by binary fission, either, then."

-----------------

Actually, I got to like the taste of iodine....

----------------

Ah, Sean. Do not forget the master rule: What works for you is right.

----------------

I've added a new chapter to the Mist and Snow excerpt available on-line.

http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/

---------------

Plot Bunnies (http://www.lazette.net/Vision/Issue34/plotbunny.htm)

------------------------

My companion on this trip was another writer who managed to write 24 pages (longhand) during the course of it. We blocked out a climatic sword-fight scene at the Carter Notch Hut, to the vast amusement of all.

------------------------

We need something meatier than that. When we bump threads, we need to say something.

--------------------

Master: Writing is like a turtle crawling in the sand.

Student: Master, how is writing like a turtle crawling in the sand?

Master: You are correct. Writing is not like a turtle crawling in the sand.

===============

Y'know how people always tell you to "write what you know"? Well, how do you know what you know? How do you know what you don't know?

I have some thoughts on that (and not merely because I'm a know-it-all). What folks are really trying to say with that is:

All stories are about people. You are a person; know yourself. Write about people, do it in a way that explains personhood with insight, wit, and psychological truth, and it doesn't matter what else you do or don't do.

This is hard. Perfect self-knowledge is difficult. Perfect knowledge of strangers is harder still. Communicating that perfect knowledge is hardest of all. That's why we have to bolster our creations with research into the real world (if that's where our story is set).

Do you know why Swift's book is still in print even though there aren't any tiny little people, or giants, or talking horses, or flying cities? That's because he had near-perfect self-knowledge and was able to transmit it. (And gave us Lilliputian, Brobdingnagian, and yahoos at the same time.)

-------------------

Is it time to play another game? Yes!

Okay, here's what we're going to do. As we all know, Plan Nine From Outer Space was to create an army of zombies to take over the earth.

Today's challenge is to come up with Plans One Through Eight.

I'll go first:

Plan One From Outer Space
Space aliens, determined to take over the earth, disguise themselves as charcoal briquettes and hide themselves in suburban basements and garages all over America. The day is set: They plan to strike on September 2nd!

Who's up for Plan Two?

---------------------

Great job, everyone:

Now the next task. Those who are playing:

Write the first hundred words of the story of your Plan From Outer Space, and the last line of your story.

Again, I'll go first:

"Commander Carbon!"

"What is it, Russell?"

"I think he's on to us. I saw him looking at us three times today."

"It could be nothing."

Russell turned back to the viewscreen. "It could be a lot, sir. All of the forces aren't in place yet. Those that are, are under strict radio silence...."

"Which includes us. Unless he takes definite hostile action, we're going to wait until D-Day, H-Hour, M-Minute. A reckless act by you -- by us -- will destroy everything."

"Could we at least make preparations for a fast retreat?"

Commander Carbon ran his pseudopod over his eyestalks. "It's just the waiting that's getting to you, Russell. Courage. You'll see that Supreme Headquarters has devised an unbeatable plan."

-----------------

Last line:

"Hey, Fred! Them burgers done yet?"

-----------------

Question -- Are we writing the first hundred words of a short story or a novel?

I think that mine was a short-story length idea, but if you see a novel, go for a novel.

(And being a writer means you have homework every day for the rest of your life.)

------------------

Think I might take that up as a challenge.

Oh, definitely do.

The point of this little exercise:

The three hardest things in getting started with a novel are:

a) Coming up with an idea
b) Knowing where you're going with it
c) The first page

So, what have we done? Provided an idea. Come up with a last line (where we're going), and written the first page (in standard manuscript format, page one is about 100 words).

Guys, next time you sit down to start a story (and that's this afternoon, right? What are long weekends for?), think of how easy it was to get an idea and get started with a goal in view.

It's true that by the time you reach "THE END" that the climax may have morphed a long way from your original vision, but knowing what the goal post looks like is a big plus when you're kicking off.

Go, do.

(Oh, and I take the blame for making my example story funny. I wonder what would have happened if I'd made my example horror?)

-------------------

For reasons that seem good to me (e.g. cat waxing), I've started to punch some of our books into the AW library (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=91).

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40178

Buy one; better still buy a dozen. They make excellent gifts.

--------------------

Doyle and I will be down at the "Book 'Em (http://bookemfoundation.org/lebanon/)" event in Lebanon, NH, this Saturday.

(9:30 a.m. -- 4:30 p.m. at the Lebanon High School, 195 Hanover St.)

--------------------

Copying your first draft to the computer is a good thing. As you go, you can change things. If something seems short or rushed -- expand it. If something doesn't seem to be worth the trouble of retyping it --don't.

As to whether you should write your next novel de novo on the computer ... try it. See what happens.

You're allowed to start original writing on your next while you revise your current book.

--------------------

You have permission to rewrite while you transcribe.

---------------------

I just spotted this in the Google Ads of another writing-related site:

Whitmore Publishing
Quality book publishing since 1961 No publishing fee. We pay you.
whitmorepublishing.com

Let's count up the lies in that ad, shall we? Like the sign in the Dashiel Hammet story*, it threatens to have more lies than words.

We can start the first lie with the name of the firm. Whitmore Publishing (http://www.whitmorepublishing.com/index.html) isn't really Whitmore Publishing: it's Dorrance (http://www.dorrancepublishing.com/) (the well-known (not to say infamous) vanity press).

Oh, they try to disguise the fact: Whitmore gives its address as 926 Liberty Avenue, Third Floor, Pittsburgh, PA. Dorrance's address is 701 Smithfield Street, Third Floor, Pittsburgh, PA. But a brief glance at Google Maps will show you that those two addresses refer to the same building: Whitmore (http://maps.google.com/maps?oi=map&q=926+Liberty+Avenue,+Pittsburgh,+PA); Dorrance (http://maps.google.com/maps?oi=map&q=701+Smithfield+Street+Third+Floor,+Pittsburgh,+P A).

There was a publisher called Whitmore, back in the 1960s. And they did (as the current Whitmore boasts) publish Warren Adler's first book. What the current site doesn't mention is that the Whitmore that published Adler went out of business in the early 1990s. All the books are long-since reverted, all the editorial, production, sales and marketing staff has long-since moved on to other places. So "since 1961" is a shocking lie, as is their claim to quality book publishing. Or book publishing at all -- the current Whitmore arose in 2003, some ten years after the real Whitmore disappeared.

"No publishing fee" is a red flag. When is there ever a publishing fee with a legitimate press? It's also a lie. This current Whitmore follows PublishAmerica's business plan: they print, POD, and their market is their own authors. They sell overpriced books and expect to make their profit on the small number of sales that come from self-purchases. The fee is hidden in the cover price.

"We pay you." Indeed. They pay an advance that's ten times higher than PublishAmerica's. They expect to get many times more back from the author. That's the equivalent of cutting off a dog's tail and handing it back to the dog, saying, "Here you go, Fido! A nice piece of meat!"

"whitmorepublishing.com" -- lists as its technical contact a person with a dorrancepublishing.com email address. Dorrancepublishing.com's IP number is 65.39.195.54. Whitmorepublishing.com's IP number is 65.39.195.56. They're both hosted by Peer 1 Network.

A lot of writing (and other) sites don't realize that they can block URLs from advertising with them. The Google ads you see on writing-related sites (based as they are on keywords) are almost universally for scams: Vanity publishers, fake agents, unneeded services. The rule is this: If you see a publisher or an agent advertising through Google, they're either scammers or worthless.

===========

*I was reading a sign high on the wall behind the bar:

ONLY GENUINE PRE-WAR AMERICAN AND
BRITISH WHISKEYS SERVED HERE

I was trying to count how many lies could be found in those nine words, and had reached four, with promise of more, when one of my confederates, the Greek, cleared his thoat with the noise a gasoline engine's backfire.

--------------------

That's some world-class sleuthing, Uncle Jim.

Not all that difficult. You know, if you see a publisher or agent advertising with Google, that they're bent somehow.

Meanwhile, Allynegirl, the general solution to problem scenes:

Flop it, crop it, or drop it.

That is, rewrite, showing the scene from a different POV. Or, make it lots shorter. If those don't work, delete it and see if the story still works.

---------------------

Where I'll be next weekend:

http://community.livejournal.com/farthingparty/8244.html

--------------------

From the archives of SFF Net (http://archives.sff.net/newsgroups/sff/publishing/scams/00000011.html) (where I was looking for something totally unrelated), I find this list of The Lies of Publishing by the learned Teresa Nielsen Hayden (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/):

-- We'll fix that in the proofs.

-- We regard ourselves as having made a serious long-term commitment to
your career, but we can't give you any more money.

-- The manuscript is very clean.

-- We'll fix that in the second pass.

-- Don't worry, this is standard industry practice.

-- I've already started reading your manuscript, but I don't want to
comment on it until I've finished the whole thing.

-- We'll fix that in the actual book.

-- The art will look a lot better when it's printed.

-- I'll get back to you on that.

-- You don't need to put that in the contract.

-- When you've been a pro as long as I have, a few rejections don't worry you.

-- We'll fix that in the paperback.

-- The copyeditor must have done that -- too late to fix it now!

-- The cover will look a lot better when it's foiled and embossed.

-- Bad reviews don't bother me. I don't even read 'em anymore, and I
certainly don't obsess over them.

-- The sales force is very excited about your upcoming book.

-- Of course I'll have the book in on time.

-- Nobody'll notice that typo anyway.

-- We'll do whatever it takes to make it right.

-- The check is in the mail.

-------------------------

Author lies? In addition to "Of course I'll have the book in on time," "A few rejections don't worry me" and "Bad reviews don't bother me" are total fibs.

-------------------------

Aaaargh! Did I actually post that in public? How young and irresponsible of me.

Indeed you did, right out in a public newsgroup where the world could see it.

I feel bad for anyone who's heard all four. (I also envy them.)

Heck, I've gotten a fifth, after "We'll fix that in the paperback": "We'll fix that in the next printing."

-----------------------

http://www.sff.net/people/yog/

-----------------------

Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day (http://www.talklikeapirate.com/). Arrrr, Matey!

A couple o' off-topic things, then an on-topic thing:

Learn CPR at Home (http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3034292) (for $30). I be a big believer in CPR (an' in public-access AEDs -- if yer community dasn't be havin' `em, be seein' if ye can get th' program going).

Chapter Three (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/Mistsnow3.htm) o' Land o' Mist an' Snow (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060819197/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) be now on line. (An' a very nice article in one o' our local weeklies (http://www.colebrookchronicle.com/mainpage.html) last Friday.)

Now th' on-topic thing:

Crawford Kilian has a series o' articles on Writin' a Novel (http://crofsblogs.typepad.com/novel/) that ye might find useful.

-----------------

CPR an' AED courses (http://www.redcross.org/services/hss/courses/aed.html) be available in lots o' communities. Prices (an' times an' places they's offered) vary: try callin' yer local ambulance squad or hospital t' be seein' when they'll be gi'en an' what they'll cost.

Th' courses range from Free on up, dependin'.

(In our community, me ambulance squad puts a wee kit wi' ever' public-access AED, consisin' o' a ziplock baggie holdin' a pocket CPR facemask, a couple o' pairs o' gloves, a set o' EMT shears, a washcloth, a disposable razor, an' a couple o' alcohol swabs.)

I be seein' CPR work wid me own eyes (that be, a guy down an' dead, subsequently walkin' ou' o' th' hospital wi' nay neuro deficits). `Tis worth 't t' know how t' do that.

(Particularly if ye`re a 50-60 year old female. Ye`re th' one most likely t' witness a cardiac event; th' shipmate sittin' across from ye at th' breakfast table goin' down hard. Ye dasn't want t' be seein' that an' nay know what ter do next.)

While th' modern public-access AEDs be havin' pictures on 'em an' a voice chip in 'em what will talk ye through th' whole procedure, 'tis good t' familiarize yersef wi' them first. Th' number one reason they dasn't work in th' field si th' swabbie operatin' them dasn't take th' pads ou' o' th' package. Th' number two reason be th' swabbie tries t' stick th' pads abroadside o' th' patient`s clothin' rather than on th' patient`s bare chest. If ye`re suddenly faced wi' a Dead Swabbie, things get excitin' in a hurry an' 'tis easy t' get flustered. Havin' had th' machine in yer hand once in a classroom settin' can take away a wee bit o' th' high-pucker-factor that I promise ye're goin' t' feel.

If ye wants ter buy an AED (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=13585) for yer church or home or office, they start around $900 (http://www.aedprofessionals.com/).

------------------------

Here are a couple more links for y'all:

First is to many of the books and movies that we've talked about in Learn Writing (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/UncleJim.html).

Next is to a bunch of books that would be interesting to writers (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/books_for_writers.htm).

All the associate income from sales of these books go to AW (and y'all remember the down-time we had a couple of months ago? Legal fees and such continue....)

---------------------

A reading list for fantasy writers: http://www.worldfantasy.org/awards/

-------------------

Well, Casi, that sounds like a book you need to write.

First, get everything on paper. Then use novelists' techniques to make it interesting to others.

More than that -- we have a non-fiction section here at AW. You might want to hang out there, too.

------------

Oh. I've just heard that Amazon now allows folks to comment on the reviews posted there.

If I catch anyone from here commenting on reviews on your own book, I will come to your house and mock you in person. ABM, y'know?

-------------------

CPR an' AED courses (http://www.redcross.org/services/hss/courses/aed.html) be available in lots o' communities.

Oh -- funny coincidence. A good friend of mine woke up this morning at about 0130 with a panicky feeling. Yep, he was having a heart attack. (He's fine, in the Cardiac Care Unit right now.) And he's younger than me....

---------------------

Remember that the moral of the "sour grapes" story (http://www.pacificnet.net/~johnr/cgi/aesop1.cgi?2&TheFoxandtheGrapes2) was "It is easy to despise what you cannot have."

When a self-published author says "Bookstores are lousy places to sell books," that's "sour grapes."

------------------

From another thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=806104):

There are many, many Muslim terrorists, and not writing about them out of fear of audience reaction is what writing should never be about.

"What's in the slush today?"

"A book about Muslim terrorists, a book about Muslim terrorists, a book about Muslim terrorists, and a book about terrorists who are Muslims."

"Okay, put 'em in the 'Muslim Terrorist' pile."

"Which one?"

"The one that hasn't fallen over yet. What's that in your hand?"

"A book about West Florida Separatist (http://www.answers.com/topic/dominion-of-british-west-florida) terrorists."

"Hey! Is it any good?"

--------------------

Allen, I'll be in Maryland around Thanksgiving. I understand Virginia isn't too far from there? (Blue Cheese Chicken is fine with me.)

-------------------

Mike Ford (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_M._Ford) is dead. The world is a poorer place.

It is given to no man to know the day or hour.

------------------

Mike was in fragile health for a long time. Diabetes, a kidney transplant ... we all knew he was chronically ill. Still, it came as a shock. He'd posted a witty poem just the day before.

While looking for his old posts, I came across this discussion: How Books Sell (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/002858.html). Folks who read this thread might find it interesting.

-------------------

Mike Ford on Romance (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006306.html), or, See! He agrees with me! I must be right!

The shortish version (and there are much, much longer ones) comes from the division of stories into didaxis, mimesis, and romance -- teaching/instruction, the representation of reality, and idealization. (Or, as I said in another book someplace, lectures, reportage, and lies.) A "romance" in this sense is an idealized story, rather than a "realistic" one. It comes from an earlier usage, meaning stories told in the vernacular (the "romance languages") rather than Latin. Most of those vernacular stories were, well, pulp yarns. Amadis de Gaul, Alonso Quejana's version of the Jack Ryan series, was in the language of everybody who could read.

---------------

There is no one as selfish as a reader standing in front of a shelf in a bookstore.

---------------

I did the assignments.

Good job! Let us know when you send that novel out the door.

-----------------

I'm off to Martha's Vineyard in the morning. Keep the thread warm for me while I'm away....

-----------------

If you don't have subplots, what you have is a short story.

Subplots add depth and richness to your novel by comparing, contrasting, and supporting the theme.

Think of counterpoint and harmonies in music. Those are subplots.

-------------------

Replying to reviews is always problematical. I'd avoid doing it. If you must, write a review of your own.

-------------------

Bravo!

------------------

Snowflake, it might be time for you to read closely and analyse some of your favorite books to see how those authors did it.

------------------

Woo! Viable Paradise (http://www.viableparadise.com) is winding down. Next year!

-------------------

Our friend Sherwood Smith has been publishing under that name since her first book. This isn't in any way even close to her legal name.

Without having read Miss Snark's remark I can't say anything about her specific issue. In my own experience, the name on the cover of the book is a matter between you and the publisher.

------------------

Naptime worked for me in the day.

Also, kid on lap, typing around him.

-------------------

No one needs TV.

--------------------

Rather than subplot, when I use these I work with theme and characters. Thus, it's time for a scene with Randy, and the theme will be Honor.

It helps move things along, shows your progress, and provides inspiration for what the next scene will be. And, it's pretty.

---------------------

But I also thought that where the strands crossed was saying something about where subplots should be connected.

It can be anything you want it to be. Theme can also connect. One can be brought to the forefront.

I'm sorry that that isn't clear -- it's an idiosyncratic method of my own.

------------------

Speaking of chemical fires and such, it's time for me to plug by Jump Kit (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/emerg_kit.htm) page.

-------------------

Talking to yourself also gets you a seat to yourself on the bus/subway....

-------------------

Don't tell the readers anything until they care.

-------------------

If the readers don't care, they won't remember a word you've said.

-------------------

Page 227 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=227)

James D. Macdonald

11-21-2009, 10:56 AM

228 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=228)
10-28-2006, 09:33 PM (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/10-28-2006,%2009:33%20PM)

May I again recommend Henning Nelms' Magic and Showmanship (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0486410870/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/)? Many of your questions about getting the reader to care will become clear when you read that book.

Dan Brown's book is a poor example -- it's a thriller, true, but it's also a fad based on American anti-Catholicism. Its faults (lousy plotting, lousy writing) have been widely commented on in many venues.

If I wanted to package Margaret Atwood's book as science fiction, I could. The difference would be in the cover painting, in the back-cover blurb, and the logo on the spine.

--------------

Let's talk about Getting the Reader to Care:

Time to play the analysis game. This time, a classic work. Best seller, multiple editions ....

CHAPTER I.

Say, ye oppressed by some fantastic woes,
Some jarring nerve that baffles your repose,
Who press the downy couch while slaves advance
With timid eye to read the distant glance,
Who with sad prayers the weary doctor tease
To name the nameless, ever-new disease,
Who with mock patience dire complaints endure,
Which real pain and that alone can cure,
How would you bear in real pain to lie
Despised, neglected, left alone to die?
How would you bear to draw your latest breath
Where all that's wretched paves the way to death?
--Crabbe.

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at
occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which
swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling
along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the
lamps that struggled against the darkness. Through one of the obscurest
quarters of London, and among haunts little loved by the gentlemen of the
police, a man, evidently of the lowest orders, was wending his solitary
way. He stopped twice or thrice at different shops and houses of a
description correspondent with the appearance of the quartier in which
they were situated, and tended inquiry for some article or another which
did not seem easily to be met with. All the answers he received were
couched in the negative; and as he turned from each door he muttered to
himself, in no very elegant phraseology, his disappointment and
discontent. At length, at one house, the landlord, a sturdy butcher,
after rendering the same reply the inquirer had hitherto received, added,
"But if this vill do as vell, Dummie, it is quite at your sarvice!"
Pausing reflectively for a moment, Dummie responded that he thought the
thing proffered might do as well; and thrusting it into his ample pocket,
he strode away with as rapid a motion as the wind and the rain would
allow. He soon came to a nest of low and dingy buildings, at the
entrance to which, in half-effaced characters, was written "Thames
Court." Halting at the most conspicuous of these buildings, an inn or
alehouse, through the half-closed windows of which blazed out in ruddy
comfort the beams of the hospitable hearth, he knocked hastily at the
door. He was admitted by a lady of a certain age, and endowed with a
comely rotundity of face and person.

"Hast got it, Dummie?" said she, quickly, as she closed the door on the
guest.

====================

End of page one. Well, do you turn the page?

What do you know, and do you care?

-------------------------

One thing y'all should remember about 19th c. novels is that they were meant to be read aloud -- by the pater familias in the parlour as an evening's diversion, for example.

---------------------------

The opening of The Hobbit is a great example of providing description by taking away information. First we're told that a hole exists, then we're told all the things that the hole isn't.

Tolkien had an idiosyncratic style. He also created a new genre. Later works in that genre have refined the concept so much that the earlier work seems crude in comparison, and reworked some parts so much that they've become cliches. That doesn't mean the original work wasn't groundbreaking.

Of course it wasn't everyone's cup of tea. What work is?

The lesson is to write your passion. Tolkien's passion was linguistics.

------------------

CHAPTER I.

We're in a chapter book, not a short story. Expect a slower beginning, since each part is in proportion to the length of the piece.
Say, ye oppressed by some fantastic woes,
Some jarring nerve that baffles your repose,
Who press the downy couch while slaves advance
With timid eye to read the distant glance,
Who with sad prayers the weary doctor tease
To name the nameless, ever-new disease,
Who with mock patience dire complaints endure,
Which real pain and that alone can cure,
How would you bear in real pain to lie
Despised, neglected, left alone to die?
How would you bear to draw your latest breath
Where all that's wretched paves the way to death?
--Crabbe.

The epigraph; perhaps a prologue. This is the stating the theme. The poet contrasts the rich hypocondriac with the genuinely ill poor person.
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

Setting the scene, providing a backdrop for the action to come. A stormy night is naturally dramatic. Opening your novel with a weather report has become a cliche; it became a cliche because it works so reliably and so often.

Through one of the obscurest quarters of London, and among haunts little loved by the gentlemen of the police, a man, evidently of the lowest orders, was wending his solitary way.

A rough neighborhood, and we're introduced to our first character two sentences in. Remember that most stories start with a person in a place with a problem. Our person here is a common laborer, or perhaps a ruffian. He is certainly not afraid to walk out in a bad part of town. The first reason we have to care is this: The question "What brings a guy out on that kind of night?" Most readers have been out in bad weather and know what it's like, and know that only the most compelling reason will force it.

He stopped twice or thrice at different shops and houses of a description correspondent with the appearance of the quartier in which they were situated, and tended inquiry for some article or another which did not seem easily to be met with.

He's well-known in an area where the police fear to tread. This is characterization. Also, we're given his problem. He's looking for something, something rare in that quarter.

All the answers he received were couched in the negative; and as he turned from each door he muttered to himself, in no very elegant phraseology, his disappointment and discontent.

Very hard to find; and the man is a brute. Everyone knows what it's like to search for something they can't find, whether it be a cup of sugar or the car keys. What he said would have been literally unprintable in the 19th century, thus the circumlocution.

At length, at one house, the landlord, a sturdy butcher, after rendering the same reply the inquirer had hitherto received, added, "But if this vill do as vell, Dummie, it is quite at your sarvice!"

We're given the man's name. We care what the man's name is by now, since we've known him for four sentences and are sympathetic to his plight. Dialect has fallen out of favor since the 19th century. Its main purpose was to guide the person reading aloud in how to pronounce the words in the proper accent. With more silent reading by individuals this is less important.

Pausing reflectively for a moment, Dummie responded that he thought the thing proffered might do as well; and thrusting it into his ample pocket, he strode away with as rapid a motion as the wind and the rain would allow.

Indirect discourse. A bit of a cheat, since while the POV is close enough to hear the words a description of the object isn't given. More reinforcement of Dummie's character and of the severity of the weather. (The mention of the ample pocket is the first note of Dummie's profession -- he's a pickpocket -- but we won't be told that until later. At the moment we don't care what Dummie does as his day job, so we aren't told.) We're gaining more sympathy with Dummie, and learning that despite his appearance he's capable of thought.

He soon came to a nest of low and dingy buildings, at the entrance to which, in half-effaced characters, was written "Thames Court."

Pure description. Nothing much happens between getting the object and arriving at the destination, the reader has no reason to care about the interval, so it isn't given. Because it's where Dummie (who we care about) is going, we care, so the name of the place can be given.

Halting at the most conspicuous of these buildings, an inn or alehouse, through the half-closed windows of which blazed out in ruddy comfort the beams of the hospitable hearth, he knocked hastily at the door.

Description. We care about what it looks like since we know its name and need a mental picture to tie that tag onto.

He was admitted by a lady of a certain age, and endowed with a
comely rotundity of face and person.

Character two. We don't care about her yet, so no name, and the description is spare enough that if we forget it, it doesn't matter.

"Hast got it, Dummie?" said she, quickly, as she closed the door on the guest.

This woman (again speaking in dialect), ties herself into Dummie (she knows him), and to the object. She's now important enough to care about.

==============

For the sake of the folks who are wondering exactly what Dummie was after that was so hard to find in that district, it was a Bible. What the butcher gave him, instead, was a leather-bound copy of the works of Shakespeare. The reason the landlady wanted a Bible was because one of the young ladies there is dying; it doesn't matter that what's provided isn't a Bible because she can't read.

We're starting a story comparing and contrasting life in the upper and lower parts of society, and highlighting the injustices of the English penal system. "Knowing yourself" is a compelling reason for any reader to pick up a novel.

Paul Clifford had the largest first printing of any novel up to that time; it sold out on the first day. This was a crime novel, and of an entirely new subgenre within crime novels: the hero is the criminal himself.

Bulwer-Lytton wrote the novel with the intent of reforming English criminal justice. Its current obscurity (other than as a bad joke) is further proof of Sam Goldwyn's dictum: "If you want to send a message call Western Union."

--------------------

Blast from the past time. I found today I needed HapiSofi's post on Decent Typesetting, and discovered the link back early in this thread was no longer valid.

Here's the new link to HapiSofi on Decent Typesetting (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=94054&postcount=18).

-------------------

McAllister, in your first post you cited the plagerism cases and outlined the laws, as it pertains.

Sorry, jpserra, but I don't know which post you're referring to. (This is a long thread....)

----------------

No. There's nothing in Star Trek that didn't already exist -- decades before -- in written Science Fiction. Nor can ideas be copyrighted, only the specific expression of ideas.

Some popular characters that would be public domain from the 20th century include Sherlock Holmes -- but only from the stories that were published before 1923.

Tarzan would be public domain, but Edgar Rice Burroughs cleverly trademarked the character, so copyright doesn't apply.

------------------

Ideas can't be copyrighted. Klingons are probably trademarked, however.

------------------

Ken's example is by Charles Dickens. It's really a bit short; I doubt that's a full page.

-----------------

Thanks, Dawno.

(Dawno's blog is here (http://www.dawnonowyouseeit.blogspot.com/).)

-----------------

I posted this elsewhere, but I think I'll repost it here....

=================

Why are you thinking of Amazon Shorts and ezines? Isn't The Paris Review (http://www.theparisreview.org/page.php/prmID/32)taking submissions any more? How about Harper's (http://www.harpers.org/SubmissionGuidelines.html)? Woman's Day (http://womansday.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=18304)? F&SF (http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/glines.htm)? Cemetary Dance (http://www.cemeterydance.com/page/CDP/Guidelines)? Hitchcock (http://www.themysteryplace.com/ahmm/guidelines/)? Where do you find the fiction that you yourself read?

If you don't have a copy of Writer's Market (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1582974276/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) go out right now and get one.

Aim high, people. You won't know if you're good enough to play in the big leagues until you've submitted your stuff there. You should work down to the 1/4-cent-a-word and 4theluv places. You won't work your way up from them.

Fast, Easy, Good. Choose two.

-------------------

I was an AFLA fencer (foil and epee), and fought broadsword and mace in the SCA. During my Navy days I'd sit with my back to the wall in waterfront taverns, observing the degradation of my fellow man, and taking mental notes during the fights.

What I can say about describing swordfights is -- keep it brief, and don't use technical language. Who the hey among the general readership will know what a parry in quarte looks like? Or exactly what a coupe is?

Later on I'll see if I can find one of my swordfighting scenes and type it in, with commentary.

Like anything else: research. Find someone who's an expert and run your scene past him or her.

Make sure the fight scene advances plot and reveals character.

And don't bore the reader.

--------------------

In The Lord of the Rings we don't get a whole lot of backstory until the Council of Elrond, by which time we've been chased from the Shire to Bree to Rivendell by Black Riders, gotten trapped by a barrow wight (and a willow), and much else besides ... and the reader cares about the characters and is asking "What the foo is going on?"

We also have the hobbits, who don't have a clue themselves, and so need to have everything explained them.

Giving the reader the impression that they're studying for a test is bad. Few people read geography books for fun.

--------------------

What in the world does that look like? I keep trying to visualize it in my head. I'm not the type of girl who giggles often, but that worked.

From The Gates of Time (work in progress):

"I don't have a plan," Satan said. "And this miracle isn't my doing. Angelo ... he's won. We're outside time and I can't touch him. Not only that, we're stuck here."

"Liar."

"Flattery will get you nowhere." He went over to the open doorway and pressed against the air. His hands stopped at the threshold.

"Then I have some things to do," I said. I pulled the elfstone out of my pocket and screwed it into my eye. Johnny was standing in the corner, having performed some vital function that the author will think of later. Perhaps he was the one who brought in the relic of St. Eloy and the pistol and gave them to me after I'd been searched. That would be a good thing for an invisible servant to do.

Anyway, I turned to Johnny. "I'm ready to hear your confession," I said.

"This might take a while," he said, coming toward me.

"No worries; we've got all the time in the world."

------------------

A database of which agents sold which books to which publishers (in the SF & F genres) over the past two years:

http://www.members.optusnet.com.au/%7Emgoodin19/locus.htm

-----------------

What we're up to these days:

Publicity for our most recent book.

Yeah, I know, I keep saying that authors aren't in charge of doing publicity, yet here I am, doing publicity. So, what have I done?

Answer: I've put stuff about the book on my web page (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/). This is wonderful, and free (I already have a web page because, face it, who doesn't?). Whether it will lead to any sales, who knows?

I've talked about the book here, and in my news group at SFF Net (http://webnews.sff.net/read?cmd=xover&group=sff.people.doyle-macdonald&from=-10).

I have it in my sig line here at AW (I rotate various things through there) -- the sig changes, and by the time y'all read this perhaps something different will be in the sig. (Look at the bottom of this post.)

I posted the book in the AW library (http://webnews.sff.net/read?cmd=xover&group=sff.people.doyle-macdonald&from=-10). (More content for AW! Woo!)

I've been doing readings from works-in-progress at SF conventions for years. Since this book has been in progress for years....

When the publisher sent us a bunch of ARCs, I dropped them on various places (including my two local weekly newspapers). I live in a town of 2,000 people; those guys are personal friends of mine (the writers' community), and we got a couple of very nice newspaper articles out of 'em. Hurrah, go us!

Now the signings and such. Where did these come from?

Answer: from the publisher. They found the bookstores, and worked out the dates and times. (We talked to the publisher's publicity guy, he talked with the bookstores.)

And this leads us to the next bit, when we got an e-mail from New Hampshire Public Radio, asking if we'd like to be on one of their programs, about our upcoming book. The answer was, you betcha.

So yesterday we had a telephone pre-interview (to find out, perhaps, if we're the sort of authors who can actually talk, and have anything to say that might fill a half-hour). Upshot of that: We'll be on The Front Porch (http://www.nhpr.org/taxonomy/term/15000) on Monday, 27 November, 6:30PM EST.

This is New Hampshire Public Radio, and the show is available on the air, as streaming audio, and archived afterwards.

88.3, Nashua, WEVS
89.1, Concord, WEVO
90.3, Nashua, WEVO
90.7, Keene, WEVN
91.3, Littleton, WEVO
91.3, Hanover, WEVH
97.3, Plymouth
99.5, Jackson, WEVJ
103.9, Portsmouth
104.3, Dover, WEVO
107.1, Gorham, WEVC
MP3 Player Stream (http://peace.str3am.com:6400/listen.pls)
Windows Media (http://www.nhpr.org/nhprLIVE.asx)

---------------------

Rules for Writing: http://mumpsimus.blogspot.com/2006/11/rules-for-writing.html

As far as mechanical text-to-voice solutions: they can be fun. But reading it aloud has its own advantages. Machines won't get out of breath during over-long sentences. You will.

-------------------

Rules for Writing: http://mumpsimus.blogspot.com/2006/11/rules-for-writing.html

As far as mechanical text-to-voice solutions: they can be fun. But reading it aloud has its own advantages. Machines won't get out of breath during over-long sentences. You will.

---------------------

If it was me, I'd leave the first and cut the second (put in the actual number, maybe).

Making the reader pause to figure out what you meant probably isn't a good idea.

Rewriting now, before you've reached "The End," probably isn't a good idea either. Unless you really gotta.

----------------------

Abnormal? Not at all. If there are 25,000 words that aren't the right words, cut 'em and replace 'em with the right words.

Our novel, Groogleman (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0152002359/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) (in French: la nuit des hommogres (http://www.amazon.fr/Vertige-vertige-fantastique-nuit-hommogres/dp/2012098185/sr=11-1/qid=1164729023/ref=sr_11_1/402-3882111-9884118)): at one point we cut everything after Chapter One and rewrote fresh from there. (I may still have the other book that it could-have-been around here somewhere.)

----------------

I hope you like it.

Meanwhile:

Y'all know the three-point-plot outline:

1.) Get the hero up a tree.
2.) Throw rocks at him.
3.) Get him out of the tree.

And the seven-point plot outline:

1). Introduce the main/viewpoint character
2). Present him with a problem.
3). In a particular setting.
4). The character tries to solve the problem...
5). And fails.
6). The character tries to solve the problem again...
7). And receives validation.

Well, here's a very detailed working-out of those general plot outlines:

http://www.miskatonic.org/dent.html

Y'all can try writing a story based on that plot outline as your Christmas Challenge. As always, the challenge is to actually submit the story you wrote to an appropriate paying market.

The Post Office is closed on Christmas, and the mail is nuts in the days before ... shall we say the deadline for mailing your completed story (in accordance with the market's guidelines) is 26 December?

(If you finish your story early, lay it aside and give it a final read-through-and-polish on Christmas Day.)

-----------------------

I intended the third, last, longest and most detailed plot outline; the one at miskatonic.org. Not because I think that paint-by-numbers, cookie-cutter storytelling is a good thing to aspire to, but rather for the same reason that one might do scales if one intends to become a concert pianist.

Consider it a wordgame.

Consider also doing the crossword in your daily newspaper every day. If your daily newspaper doesn't run a crossword, get a book of crossword puzzles.

------------------------

If you look around you can also find an 8-Point Plot Structure (http://www.jmarkbertrand.com/fictionblog.asp?p=2004_03_01_archive2.htm) (Stasis, Trigger, Quest, Surprise, Critical Choice,Climax, Reversal, Resolution), a Nine-point Plot Structure (http://www.dce.harvard.edu/extension/2006-07/courses/syllabi/10771/creae45.pdf), (apparently from Story: Substance, Structure, Style and The Principles of Screenwriting (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060391685/madhousemanor/) by Robert McKee (http://www.nyu.edu/classes/keefer/TimeSpace/form.html)) and probably any number of other numbered plot structures.

------------------------

Meanwhile, in Russia: http://medlarcomfits.blogspot.com/2006/11/books-in-russia-true-story-by-friend.html

-----------------------

To what should be no one's surprise:

http://images.quizilla.com/E/edeainfj/1061494906_CWINDOWSDesktopplot.jpg
You're a Plot writer!

Take this quiz (http://quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=17&url=http://www.quizilla.com/users/edeainfj/quizzes/)!

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------------------------

Hey, UJ!

I was wondering how the book signings and radio gigs are going. What is an effective benchmark for success at events like this? Just wondering.

The radio interview went pretty well; the host mentioned the title of the book several times. It's archived in streaming form here: http://www.nhpr.org/node/11869

The first signing went well; the bookstore had 24 copies and sold 12 of them. (We also got 40% off on anything in the store. Hoo hah, Christmas shopping!) Folks were coming by and chatting all evening.

The second signing didn't go so well. Of course it was also bucketing down rain, there was thunder and lightning, and 50-60 MPH wind gusts. If we didn't have to be there we wouldn't have gone either. The bookstore had 14 copies and two sold. On the plus side, we each got a $25 gift certificate to that bookstore. (Hoo hah! More Christmas shopping!)

We signed remaining stock at both places, where they're now out with Autographed stickers.

A benchmark for success is Anyone At All Shows Up.

--------------------------

The nice lady from the radio station had one of the advanced reading copies of Mist and Snow. That had come from the publisher.

At the Book'em event (http://bookemfoundation.org/lebanon/), back in September, we sold a bunch of books (I didn't count), from the freebie author copies that publishers have sent us over the years. Eventually the revenue sharing brought back about thirty bucks.

It was interesting. At Book'em, even though there wasn't any assigned seating at the place (a school gym with tables arranged in a large horseshoe around the walls), the folks separated out naturally into the published authors, the publishers and bookstores, and the self-and-vanity-published authors.

I was amazed at how slick the self-published guys were in their presentations. Balloons with their titles imprinted on 'em, pens, bookmarks, stands, custom printed tablecloths.... I was impressed. Over on our side of the room we were just putting piles of books on the tables and sitting there with the little "Hi, My Name Is" stickers that the event organizers handed out on our shirts.

One of the self-published folks (who had driven there from Virginia -- that was something else: a lot of the self-published folks had come a long way) was handing out full-color flyers for her book, Take the Mystery Out of Promoting Your Book (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1928662439/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/). The flyer tells us that her book is available in bookstores everywhere, and has a tear-off order form at the bottom to buy a copy from the author.

Anyway, that flyer also includes an inventory list for "A Booksigning In A Bag." Here's the list:

Tablecloth
Candies and dish
Flowers
Props
Scissors and tape
Pens -- booksigning and other
Mailing list
Book cover stickers
Business cards
Water/water bottle with screw-on cap
Change for parking meters
Emergency personal supplies/first aid kit
Book marks
Posters/flyers/advertisements
Loudspeaker announcements
Book stands
Blank card stock and marker
Presentation materials (projector, flip chart, etc.)
Lightweight table
Lightweight folding chair
Camera
Thank-you gift for store employee(s)

------------

I feel like such a slacker. Doyle and I had one pen between us at the first signing (until one of the visitors gave us another). We had to borrow new batteries for our camera (Doyle usually carries a camera in her purse). In the past we'd done the dish of candy thing, but forgot this time. I'd intended to build a nice model of a Civil War ship (perhaps USS Kearsarge) as a prop, but never got around to it. We did have change for parking meters (that usually rides in the car) but we didn't need it. My big EMT jump kit was in the car (but we didn't need it either, thankfully).

The bookstores provided the tables, chairs, water, book stands, and books. They had posters and signs (and flyers, too).

I'd taken it on myself to send press releases to the local newspapers a month before the signings, with a cover flat from the book included in each. Might help, couldn't hurt. I don't know if anything was ever printed.

Maybe next time I'll try to do better.

---------------------

I'm doing the Christmas Challenge myself. First page: http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/18656.html

-------------------

I've also been having way too much fun with the Official Seal Generator (http://www.says-it.com/seal/index.php):

-------------------

My pseud for tie-ins.

------------------

Woo! An interview with Doyle and me, including Doyle on "Constructing Villains":

http://www.andwerve.com/october06_featured_artist

-------------------

How about telepathically creating the impression of a human body?

If you can answer the question "why must this character be a feline?" you might find the answer to "how can it communicate?"

-------------------

My latest Eos/blog post (http://outofthiseos.typepad.com/blog/2006/12/where_do_you_ge.html) is up, and it has more of a discussion on the secret origins of Land of Mist and Snow. A bit of How I Dun It. It's about Civil War songs.

Oh, and I've finished the Christmas Assignment (first draft), over on our LiveJournal (http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/). It's friendlocked, but I make friends easily. Doyle will do her magic on it next.

If it ever gets published, y'all can compare the first draft to the finished piece.

----------------------

Welcome, lfraser -- I'm glad you're finding it informative. Please let us know how it all goes.

----------------------

For folks interested in an agent's perspective on what to do if a manuscript has been making the rounds for a while with no nibbles, check out "Giving up on it" in Rachel Vater's LJ (http://raleva31.livejournal.com/27462.html).

(Rachel is an agent at Lowenstein-Yost Associates.)

My advice is this: By the time you know that a particular book isn't getting any nibbles, you should have a new book ready to make the rounds. So start sending the new book around and begin work on your next.

-------------------

Beats the heck out of me. I haven't read your book.

This may well be in the put-it-in-the-desk-drawer-for-six-months-then-reread area. Or it may be in the "What do the betas say?" area.

Is there some reason that you can't just leave your antagonist drifting in a lifeboat/working at Burger King under an assumed name/returning to his Fortress of Silence to work on his plans?

---------------------

Y'know, if he's the last of his species, he's going to have a very hard time finding a date for Friday night....

---------------------

Some seriously brilliant writing advice.

Unfortunately it's a PDF, but it's worth it.

http://homepage.mac.com/noteon/Sites/Snyder_on_writing.pdf

-----------------------

Whatever works for you, Writerdog.

Me, I'll turn off the monitor sometimes and type blind. That way I don't get distracted by the words on the screen.

----------------------

Some seriously brilliant writing advice.

And here it is in HTML:

http://journalscape.com/keithsnyder/2006-12-19-12:05/

-----------------------

It's well-over novel length. Just my own contributions come to over a thousand pages in standard manucript format.

-----------------------

Yes: See Uncle Jim, undiluted (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7987).

Be advised, though, that there's an awful lot of meat in the other posts, and some of my comments are pretty meaningless out of context.

----------------

For reasons that seemed good to me, I just added the rest of the Mageworlds books and the Crossman short stories to the AW Library: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40178

-----------------------------

Happy/Jolly/Season's/Merry
Christmas/Holidays/Greetings

--------------

Today's the day to send your Christmas Challenge Story out to a paying market. On your mark, get set, SASE!

-------------------------

And today's surprise news: got royalties on the reprint of "Stealing God" that appeared in My Favorite Fantasy Story (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/1596870559/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/). (Also available as an ebook (http://www.diesel-ebooks.com/cgi-bin/item/parent-0742091406/My-Favorite-Fantasy-Story.html).) That means the silly thing's earned out. (This story is another of the Gift That Keeps On Giving stories. Reprinted several times, inspiration for two other stories and a novel, and earning royalties right the way along.)

Only $15.82, but when you consider it's a pro-rata share of 1/2 of the royalties from the period when it earned out ... well, it's $15.82 that I didn't have yesterday.

--------------------

Please notice that it took six years for that anthology to earn out. Between 2000 and 2006 all the money we saw on that sale was the advance. (That was the second of three (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0446601381/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) times (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0765340038/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) we'd sold that story though, so it's okay, and no one expects to make a lot of money on short stories.)

------------------------

So far all of our short-fiction sales have been to anthologies, so I guess yeah, we like doing 'em.

The criteria? A well-known editor, and a publishing deal with a known decent publisher. Plus the advance, of course. Look for $0.05/word and up, paid on acceptance.

Stories in anthologies don't get the award recommendations that stories in the magazines get, but ... they can stay in print for years (decades, really), and keep on earning. A reprint from an anthology and a reprint from a magazine are still both reprints.

Think of anthologies as single-issue magazines that stay in print for more than a month.

--------------------------

...could I use a puppy love type romance to involve the reader deeper with the characters emotions in my book?

Yes, you could.

If so please explain how in some examples please.

No, I can't.

This isn't something that I can do in a sentence, or a paragraph, or even a chapter. It's organic to the whole.

Here's what you can do ... take some of your favorite books that have the sort of romance you're looking for, and re-read them specifically to see how and where the author included the romance in the whole narrative.

Then write your book. If romance develops between the characters, you can strengthen it and refine it in the second draft.

------------------

I've been spending the day updating and correcting my list of Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror Bookstores (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/bookstor.htm). Still not done, but at least the dead links have been cleaned up.

My next convention will be Arisia, in Boston (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/bookstor.htm), January 10-12. Here's my schedule:

Friday, 7:00 PM Reshaping Grimm & Goose
Saturday, 11:00 AM Playing in Someone Else's Sandbox
Saturday, 12:00 noon Magic and Christianity
Saturday, 3:00 PM Reading
Sunday, 12:00 noon Pen Names: When and Why?

----------------------

That's my attitude. If the topic has worth, it'll stay on the first page. If it doesn't -- people who are interested can still search while other, more interesting, topics move to the head of the line.

----------------------

Speaking of which... I posted this in another thread today, and lest it sink and be lost I repost it here:

Write the best first draft you can, but if, while you're writing it, you look at it and say "This is crap," keep writing anyway.

If it helps: print out and frame this certificate (http://www.sff.net/people/yog/permission.pdf). Hang it above your desk.

---------------------

You can't make a vase if you don't have the clay on your wheel.

---------------------

Nicole -- read your printout, out loud, marking in the margin the places that you'll have to come back and fix.

And/or:

Write a flowchart from your cruddy draft. See the overall shape.

You will need to get the entire work into your mind.

Also -- have you aged 'em in your desk drawer yet?

----------------------

The goal isn't to write badly -- the goal is to ignore the saboteur in the back of your head that's trying to stop you by saying "This is lousy! Give up!"

----------------------

Page 237 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=237)

James D. Macdonald

12-09-2009, 11:30 PM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 238 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=238)
01-10-07

It all boils down to "To carve a statue of an elephant, get a block of marble and remove everything that doesn't look like an elephant."

Yes, eliminate greetings, unless they reveal character, advance the plot, or suport the theme.

------------

I went to a science fiction convention this last weekend. I brought along a half-dozen copies of our latest (from the case of books our publisher sent us, free) to put on the Freebies Table on Friday evening. They vanished within minutes.

By noon on Saturday, the book dealers in the Dealers' room had sold out of our books.

The reading of the new story went well on Saturday afternoon. That's "Philologos," which was the Christmas Challenge story.

----------------

The stuff on the bookstore shelves may also reflect what didn't sell. The stuff that sold hasn't been restocked yet.

Write what you want to, what you're passionate about. If you write to the market, editors may be saying "Why is it that suddenly everyone's sending me Southern Cats Duct Taped to the Fender books?"

--------------------

Looks like everyone's getting into the "contest" thing. First Simon & Schuster, now Crown Publishing Group.

What the hey -- if you're unpublished and unrepresented, why not? There isn't an entry fee.

http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/blindsubmission/

----------------------

Why not try? Either treat it as a first draft, or treat it as an outline.

There isn't any one way to play this game. And if you've been growing in skill, problems that may have stopped you the first time may be surmountable now.

If the book is fatally flawed -- you'll find out.

-----------------

Due to routing problems in the northeast USA, Making Light (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/) appears to be down at this hour.

Details here: http://sideshow.me.uk/

Pass the word to those who need to know.

--------------------

In the case of Land of Mist and Snow, the publisher asked for cover suggestions, we sent several, they went with something else. We saw the finished art (which, BTW, is totally gorgeous, even better than the final printed version).

In other cases, we've been asked for cover suggestions and have had them used. Or asked for scenes from books that the artist might find useful. For interior art we've had more of a chance to comment, and have worked with the artist. But mostly -- the first we've known of the cover art was when the cover flats came in.

Complaining about the cover art is the author's traditional right. (See Mr. Earbrass (http://www.infinity-bound.net/TUH/tuh24.html) for an example.)

---------------------

W00t!

------------------

I'm probably the wrong guy to ask, because we published a short story that was 100% dialog (not even any 'said' tags).

Okay, here's what you can do. Print out your chapters and tape the pages to the wall on the far side of your living room. Look at the grey areas. Too many big blocks? Break them up with dialog. Too thin and jaggety? Add a few paragraphs of narrative.

Be certain that you aren't writing a "head story" (the one where the story is in your head, not on the paper).

Okay, now go to your favorite book, with a couple of highlighters in hand. Highlight dialog in yellow and description in green. See how that author handled the mix.

I can't give you a formula, or an easy trick. This is where you'll be making your own art.

-----------------------

"Yog" is a character from Lovecraft, and a name from India before that. I expect that it's a horror 'zine of some kind?

------------------------

At half-a-cent per word, I hope you've tried some of the higher-paying 'zines first.

------------------------

Change in POV entails ... changing the Point of View. If the POV character calls this person "Smith," then that's what he calls him. I don't see a problem.

How else will we know that POV has changed than that there are differences between the voices?

--------------------

I'm going to port in some posts I made in another thread, (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54611) because I think they can be of general interest. Folks who want to see 'em in context are invited to do so.

=============

I'm going to go way out on a limb and guess what was going on from the OP's post.

Wizardry was a series of computer role-playing games from Sirtech. These date back to Apple II days. Their last game, Wizardry 8, came out for the PC in 2001. (Their website http://www.sir-tech.com/ hasn't been updated in some years.)

The OP apparently wrote a trilogy using characters and situations from this game series (essentially, fan fiction), then contacted the copyright holder in an attempt to sell it to them. Discussion with Sirtech, however, did not prove fruitful.

Some time later, Sirtech sold the rights to Wizardry to another company. This second company is interested in publishing the novels (even though they may never have published anything in their lives). One possible point of difficulty might be that while this second company bought the rights to the Wizardry games themselves, it's unclear if they bought the right to make derivative works (which a series of novels would be).

It strikes me that that's a problem for the second company and their lawyers to hash out with Sirtech and their lawyers, and of little concern to the author. If they get the right to make derivative works, well and good. If not, no sale, everyone moves on to other projects.

Other points of contention might revolve around characters and situations. The characters and situations that come directly from the game are clearly the property of the copyright holder. The original characters and situations that the OP created, however ... the author would want to keep the rights to them, while the game company would want to acquire those rights (this would simplify their lives in case they ever wanted to make more games in the series and might want to use those characters and situations (or ones similar enough to arguably be them). It would also simplify their lives if someone wanted to make a movie out of the games, and use the books as a source.

I can see where a lawyer might get involved in all this (though an agent working on commission rather than a lawyer might be a better choice for the author).

I could be entirely out to lunch on all this -- it's pure speculation based on the clues in the OP's message.

Now some personal notes. I've done a bunch of tie-in work. The usual thing is for the copyright holder to approach the author with the idea for the novel, and negotiate from that point. The work is usually work-for-hire (though if you have a decent agent you can get profit participation in the book sales). The contract will spell out in nauseating detail exactly what rights are in play (and if you can get away without the copyright holder getting all rights, you're doing very well indeed).

Another personal note: Going with a game company as a publisher is a path strewn with landmines. Going with a first-time publisher is a path entangled with barbed wire. Going with a first-time publisher that's also a game company is a path that's mined, entangled with barbed wire, and under sporadic artillery fire. It's way easy to get hurt.

I really don't know enough about the OP's present situation to give any useful advice. A bit of clarification would be very handy. (Particularly what's meant by "option" in this case.)

================

I'd say, find an agent.

If the agent can get a $12,000 advance (which isn't out of the ballpark for three books), it'll still cost the same $1,800, but it'll be painless (and after the sale).

All the money that comes in from the book goes from the publisher to the agent, the agent subtracts 15% (or whatever the agreed-upon commission is) and passes on the rest.

There's a list of Science Fiction/Fantasy agents here:
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=42019

There's another list here:
http://www.sfwriter.com/agent.htm

As always, research, research, research any agent on any list you find.

If you already have an agreement in principle with the owners of the Wizardry copyrights that they will buy these books, you shouldn't have any trouble interesting an agent in representing you.

================

The way I see it, the big problem is that there's exactly one company on the face of the earth that can legally publish this trilogy.

(That's one of the reasons why writing fan fiction is a bad idea.)

The first company wasn't interested.

Now the second company potentially is.

Let's say that the second company has the right to make derivative works.

Let's say that they are interested in publishing these books. Let's say that they've never published anything, aren't clear on how to go about it, and have never seen a publishing contract.

One of the things that they can do is call up a regular publisher on the phone and say, "Hi, this is Game Company X. We want to publish some books based on our games! How about you edit, print, and distribute them?" The publisher will say "Sure!" and their lawyers will work something out. (To my direct knowledge, Roc, Warner, and Tor have all published books on exactly this basis for various game companies. I'm sure they have boilerplate contracts on file to cover the situation.)

Now the usual thing is for the publisher to come up with the contract, offer it, and the author either accept or not accept that contract. (Having the author coming up with the contract is ... bizarre. I think that derives from this being a first-time author dealing with a first-time publisher.)

Generally the first contract that the publisher offers has some clauses in it that aren't too favorable to the author, so the agent works things out. Generally, the agent's major weapon ("Well, if we can't come to an agreement, I can take this manuscript elsewhere") has vanished, since there is only one company that can possibly publish the book, and the company is well aware of that fact.

Three options right now:

a) Get an agent who will work on commission to hammer out the deal with the company that now owns the rights.

b) File off the serial numbers and attempt to sell the re-written work to another publisher.

c) Forget this trilogy. Move on and write another novel.

No matter what else you do, you'll want to move on and write another novel in any case ... so start doing that while searching for an agent.

(Or: Look, I can write you a contract for free. Here goes:

[Author] grants all rights in [Name of Work] to [Name of Company] for the full term of copyright in return for $20,000 paid on signing. [Company] agrees that [Author] will be identified as the author of [Work] on the cover, title page, and in any promotional materials when/if the Work is published.

Signed: [Author]
Signed: [Company]
[Date]

There, that wasn't so tough, was it? They'll come back with "$20,000! Are you smoking something?" and offer $10,000. You'll say, "Do you wish my children to be beggars? $15,000!" They agree to it, you both sign. It's a lousy contract from the author's point of view, but it does bring closure to the whole affair. And you do get a professional publishing credit.)

Seriously, get an agent. And write a new, different, better book while you're looking.

========================

Wow. Crossposted again.

Please be aware that if you don't come to an agreement with Company B, that publishing the works on your website is still publishing, and is a copyright and/or trademark violation. If Company B wants to be complete dicks about it, they can shut you and your website down and make your life exceedingly unpleasant. Since they know about you and this work ... the odds of their finding out about web self-publication are pretty good. That may require them to Do Something about it.

Since you know Ms. Duane, why not take her out, buy her a beer, and ask her what she advises at this juncture?

==================

Reading more about Sir-Tech (the original company that created Wizardry) -- they're apparently bankrupt. Which means that their various rights (including the right to make derivative works) are assets controlled by a bankruptcy court until they can be sold to pay off the company's debts, adding yet another layer of mess to an already messy situation. Resolving something like that can take years even with all the good-will in the world. (Horrible things have happened to authors whose books were bought by publishers who've gone bankrupt.)

This discussion has rambled a long way from Paul S. Levine's lousy phone manners. Perhaps it should be moved to the Ask The Agent forum?

================

Oh -- one more thing. One of the reasons I caution about publishing books with a game company is that "doesn't know what it's doing" is pretty much Standard Operating Procedure.

Bottom line: no matter what happens, The Author Writes a Check is not an option. If you reach that point, you're at a dead end. Back up and try another path.

===================

---------------------------

That is why you have a clause in any contract specifying that if any rights accrue to the publisher, those rights revert to author on any form of liquidation/bankruptcy on the part of publisher.

Alas, that clause, while it is a standard part of every publishing contract, is worthless.

A publisher's publishing rights to works make up the bulk of their assets, and a company in bankruptcy simply can't give away its assets. The publishing rights might wind up in the hands of a third party which is not bound by the original contract with the author, with very bad results (from the author's point of view).

Consider a non-book example: Company A rents its office furniture from Company B. Company A goes bankrupt. That office furniture might get sold at auction to satisfy Company A's debts -- and the only chance Company B might have to get its furniture back would be to bid on it.

Also: as far as any money the publisher might owe to the author, the author is an unsecured creditor. All of the secured creditors stand in line ahead of the unsecured, and the money that is left in the till or that comes from the sale of assets usually runs out long before the unsecured creditors see any.

If a company goes bankrupt while holding your publishing rights, in the best case you won't get any income from that work, and won't be able to resell it, for a period that can be measured in years. In the worst case, while you still hold the copyright, you've lost the income from that work and lost the ability to resell the work at all.

As always, if you have a legal question, ask a real lawyer. For a real-world case the answer to your particular situation is "It varies."

-----------------------

You will need the rights to the English translation. The question is, does the translator have the right to make that translation?

----------------------

Does he possibly already have rights to the English translation of that poem?

The danger is, a second cousin twice removed may pop up from nowhere claiming to own the rights to that poem if lightning strikes and your book goes all DaVinci Code. Best to straighten out the rights-and-permissions questions now, and have 'em all in writing.

-----------------------

The exact legalities of permissions require the services of a real lawyer to untangle.

However, it is my impression that a hard-copy letter with a real signature on it is required to grant rights.

---------------------------

Ah, Hillgate -- you're in the UK. Things may well work as you've stated in the UK. I wouldn't know.

Over here, the standard "in the event of bankruptcy all rights revert to the author" clause is just flat worthless. In the event of bankruptcy the rights are assets, and the assets become the property of the court, to dispose of as they please. This happens at the instant of bankruptcy and, depending on state laws, retroactively for a period of time before the bankruptcy. That is, if the company returns your rights today, and declares bankruptcy tomorrow, those rights become the property of the court anyway.

Nor does the court transfer the contract -- the court tranfers the publication rights (the asset) without any of those details like royalties and such attached. The creditor is trying to get his money back from the publisher and cares not a fig for the writer. It really is messy, and it really is bad for the writer. I can give real-world examples of this happening.

In the example I gave of the furniture -- the managers of the company aren't disposing of the property. As you point out, they can't. The court has taken that property, and the court is disposing of it. The court can, and may well do just that.

---------------------

I can boil it all down to three words:

Write, submit, repeat.

Everything else is commentary.

-----------------------

A lot of the books in the Best SF thread are quite old.

For What's Happening Now:

Anything by Ken MacLeod. Anything by Robert Charles Wilson. Last year's Nebula winners. This year's Hugo nominees. Three books chosen at random from the SF shelf of your local bookstore, provided you've never heard of the authors.

After that ... write your book.

-----------------------

Ah, shucks, folks.

------------------------

I don't know how most writers do it. I know that I personally write new stuff and revise older stuff on the same day, just at different times of the day.

This is another case of whatever works for you.

You will eventually have to revise the material you've written (unless you're capable of doing publishable first drafts (and there are some people who can do that)). How your writers' group decides to count that is up to them.

Please let us know what they decide.

------------------

Just as an aside to above: East of Eden by Steinbeck was published from the original MS without any changes made by the publisher. Well at least the copy that I have.

Hunh?

Do you have any information that it was the first draft? How many drafts did Steinbeck write before the version he submitted?

(Oh -- publishers don't usually make any changes to a manuscript (other than correcting typoes and applying house style). They may request revisions, but it's the authors job to either make them or not, as the author pleases.)

(Example of house style: Numbers below 99 are expressed in numerals, numbers one hundred and above are expressed in words. (Other publishers may have another style for numbers.) Another example of house style: Extracts such as poetry or letters are set off by linebreaks, indented, and set in italics. (Other publishers may have other styles.) Yet another example of house style: The serial comma is used. (Other publishers may not use the serial comma.))

---------------------

Yes, write the darned book anyway.

Now Wilson -- top talent, top of his game. But you can be certain of one thing: there exists a writer of whom Wilson says, "I can never be that good. I'll never be in his league."

You might try re-typing the first chapter of Spin to see exactly what he did and how he did it. Observe his technique.

It's the chess metaphor again: we may say of a Grand Master "I'll never be that good," but on a move-by-move basis we can understand each move.

---------------------

See also: Mikhail Tal and his hippopotamus story (http://felixstowechess.tripod.com/quotes.htm). It is illustrative.

--------------------

In other words, how accurate does the history have to be?

As accurate as possible provided you're still able to tell your story.

--------------------

No novel is ever perfect. It's just the best you can make it at the time. Let other people tell you if they enjoyed it.

The other day I watched Hoodwinked (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/B000EQ5UHS/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) on DVD. That's an animated re-telling of the Little Red Riding Hood story. Pretty good film.

What I did afterward was watch the special features, with the director's commentary. Particularly the deleted scenes and the extended scenes. What struck me was how many times the director said words to the effect of, "I loved this bit, but the point had already been made," or "I cut this for pace."

-------------------

You're learning, growing, and getting set to wrestle with stronger angels.

Also: I just posted this in another thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1165175&postcount=8), but thought I'd put it here, too:

A scene is a unit that has a recognizable beginning, middle, and end.

The scene ends with a mini-climax that leaves the reader wanting to continue. The next scene usually has moved in time, space, or viewpoint.
__________________

-------------------

...can you tell us of any standard that you believe would or should warrant Procrustean Bed rigidity in writing?

Not so much.

The only real rule is: If It Works, It's Right.

The thing you should never forget is that you are writing for your readers.

Beyond that, it's all art. There are nine and sixty ways of constructing tribal lays....

------------------

Here's what I might suggest: Take a writer you admire and attempt to "channel" him or her. Pretend to be that person and have him or her write your book for you.

(Don't worry that it won't be your book -- no matter how talented a parodist you might be, the work is original.)

Now other stuff: Found in another thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1168905) here at AW, a piece of submission-tracker software. http://www.download.com/3000-20-10027591.html

It looks like it would mostly be useful for short stories, but still....

Now, how to do it by hand.

Get yourself a file folder for each of your stories.

In that file folder, put a hard-copy of your finished story. Put in an archive electronic copy of the finished story. Come up with a list of all the possible markets for the story, arranged in some order that pleases you (highest-to-lowest paying, most prestigious-to-not-so-prestigious, or something else). Print that out and put it in the folder.

Make a photocopy of that story. Send it to the top market on your list. Note the date on the hardcopy list. When/if you get a rejection, write in the date, cross out that address, and send out fresh photocopy that same day to the next market on your list.

Continue until either the story sells, or you reach the bottom of the list. If the story sells, put a copy of the contract in the file folder. Note on the top of the folder when the reprint rights will come back to you. If you see any reviews of the story, clip them and put them in the folder.

If you reach the bottom of the list, after you've crossed out the last address, put a date one year in the future on the top of the file folder, and put it your file drawer. One year on, re-read the story and see if you want to revise it and start sending it around again. See if new markets have opened.

--------------------

You, only better than before, is everyone's goal.

--------------------

You could go to one of the digest pages (Undiluted (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7987)) and use your browser's "Find On This Page" function.

For more general stuff, use Google.

Go to Google and in the search string type site:absolutewrite.com "Learn Writing With Uncle" (yes, use the quote marks) then your search terms. That seems to work pretty well.

-------------------

The "Search Within This Thread" feature apparently ignores "common words."

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&hs=XYL&q=site%3Aabsolutewrite.com+%22learn+writing+with+u ncle%22+%22and+then%22&btnG=Search

--------------

The idea is to use a different part of your brain when seeing your work. Getting a fresh view. Revision = re-vision. Looking again.

If this trick doesn't work for you ... there are others.

-----------------

How about ... copying the book out by hand? Retyping it from hard-copy. Turning the pages upside down and reading it.

All of these are mechanical ways of making the work different. Of using other parts of your brain.

The classic is putting the book in your desk drawer for three months.

If you've read your book on-screen up to now, read it in hardcopy. If you've read it in hardcopy, read it on-screen.

Oh -- here's a cheapie: Reprint your book in two-column justified ten-point Times New Roman, and read it in that form (presuming that you've been reading it in standard manuscript format). (On the other hand, if you've been setting your reading copy in TNR two-column -- set it in standard manuscript format and re-read it like that.)

I do like reading aloud, though. You don't have an audience other than yourself, so your public speaking skills don't matter.

---------------------

I think the 'sitting thing' is by far the best advice when it comes to editing. It allows you to become detached from the work.

Something else I recommend is that you start writing something else while you're letting your work marinate in your desk drawer. That too will help cleanse your mind.

------------------

What should you do?

Write 250 words of original fiction before you post on this board again.

They don't have to be perfect -- they don't even have to be good. They just have to be there.

Cut the crap and write.

---------------------

A working outline and the outline you send to a publisher are two different things.

The first is Whatever Works For You. The second is a sales document.

---------------------

As William Faulkner said, "I only write when I'm inspired. Fortunately I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning."

Were I in your place, I'd put in the daily BIC on the new work, and plan out a time period every day to edit/rewrite/revise one of the old works (flip a coin to figure out which one). By the time you've done editing that one, the new project should be about done, so put it into the editing queue. Start writing a new story. At the same time edit the second story you have in inventory. When you're done with that ... you'll have the story that you just completed about finishing up its three months in your desk drawer.

So, you might consider arranging your time like that.

Remember that what works for you is what's right.

------------------------

Sure. Write the ending. You can do that right now.

Also, see the idea of flow-charting the story by way of an outline.

-----------------------

Find another couple of beta readers, keep this one, and wait three months before revising.

-----------------------

Oh, and what you say to a beta? "Thank you very much!" And mean it.

----------------------

Quickly, one more question: how many words of the ending should I do? Should I make it the whole last chapter of the book, or should I just do the last page or two?

That's another "How long is a piece of rope?" questions. Write as many words as you need to.

--------------------

As you know, Bob, Doyle and I are regular instructors at the Viable Paradise workshop.

On one occasion, Doyle had a particular author's story to comment. Her comment was "This story presses too many of my buttons. Have Maureen McHugh look at it."

For us, Sherwood Smith has been our beta reader since we were all unpublished together. We also found beta readers for each of our Mageworlds books who hadn't read any of the previous books, to see if they made sense to readers just coming to the series.

So it's an ongoing thing -- reliable beta readers who you've known for years, a rotating cast of new readers. Be aware that sometimes a story will hit a reader in a non-typical way. In that case get a second opinion.

----------------------

A perennial thread-topic on the Novel board is "What's Wrong with [1st/2nd/3rd] Person [Omniscient/Limited/Closed/Open/Grayscale] [Past/Present/Future] POV?"

Usually we start with some vague reference to unnamed "experts" who allegedly say that a writer should [always/never] use the named POV. This is followed by a bunch of posts claiming that those [still unnamed] "experts" [do/do not] know what they're talking about.

Listen, people: Here's the actual answer. There is nothing wrong at all with any POV. It only has to be done well.

------------------

The difference between a query letter and a cover letter:

Query letter: "Would you like to see my book?"

Cover letter: "Here's my book. Hope you like it!"

----------------------

I don't say that anything is absolutely true, except that the Reader is King.

----------------------

Plots, plots, and more plots. (http://thepulp.net/PulpCompanion/03summer/plot.html)

---------------------

I usually find theme by re-reading the text, then using that knowledge to help make decisions in the revision stage.

---------------------

"Clarified" and "simplified" are generally good.

---------------------

What? You've never heard of George I, George II, and George III?

--------------------

As to the use of 'they' ...?
I'm not quite sure what you mean here.

Are you referring to this line?

You have to ocassionally remind the reader who they are reading about...

If so, that's the singular 'they,' the word used in English to mean an individual of unknown sex. (This is the correct singular. "He or she" is a barbarism; "he" (or "she") alone is silly.)

See for example:

"Singular they": God said it, I believe it, that settles it (http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003572.html)

Everybody loves their Jane Austen (http://www.crossmyt.com/hc/linghebr/austheir.html)

---------------------

It's all looking for clarification. The names for the different POVs are mutable things; use them if they make the concept clearer for you. If not, not.

And the master rule is that if it works, it's right.

---------------------------

UJ,

I know you preach "if it works, it's right" but I want your opinion on tenses. Though I've seen the movie several times, I just recently started reading "Silence of the Lambs" for the first time. The first couple chaps are excellent. The author writes in past tense, but at times goes into description of people in present tense. It's as if the author is telling me "this story took place in the past, but the characters are still alive today as you read this".

Let's take a look:

"Do you spook easily, Starling?"

"Not yet."

"See, we've tried to interview and examine all thirty-two known serial murderers we have in custody, to build up a database for psychological profiling in unsolved cases. Most of them went along with it--I think they're driven to show off, a lot of them. Twenty-seven were willing to cooperate. Four on death row with appeals pending clammed up, understandably. But the one we want most, we haven't been able to get. I want you to go after him tomorrow in the asylum."

Clarice Starling felt a glad knocking in her chest and some apprehension too.

"Who's the subject?"

"The psychiatrist--Dr. Hannibal Lecter," Crawford said.

A brief silence follows the name, always, in any civilized gathering.

Starling looked at Crawford steadily, but she was too still. "Hannibal the Cannibal," she said.

That's the narrator, the person who is telling the story, interjecting himself into the narrative. It's a bit of a distancing mechanism. It's "I'm telling a story." And it's the exposition. The narrator is telling us something that the two characters can't mention to each other because they both know it perfectly well.

Other places, the drop into present tense is POV. When seeing the characters' thoughts, they're present tense because the characters aren't thinking about what's going on in front of them in past tense.

Character thoughts aren't always set in italics.

---------------------

I'm going to annotate some of these.

“What follows is a list of the most common shoulds, musts, and have-to’s that many of us have been taught about writing. Each of these is either useless, irrelevant, or just plain incorrect:

*A writer must be unhappy, or lonely, or cynical, or 100% serious, or neurotic, or a little crazy, or downright nuts.

You don't have to be crazy, but it helps.

*If you wish to be published, you must do whatever editors ask.

Depends on what degree of granularity you're looking for. At its most basic what the editors ask is "Send us something we can use!" and this is completely correct. If you wish to be published you must send something that suits their current needs.

*You must dress and act in a certain way, and/or associate with certain people, in order to be a successful writer.

The propeller beanie (http://costumestock.com/product/B000H8H8GO/Merchant/Adult-Propeller-Beanie-Hat.htm) is absolutely necessary. By great good luck I have a number of them here. May I sell you a couple? Oh, yes, and you must associate with me.

*You must keep each of your manuscripts circulating among editors until it is accepted for publication.

Or until you've hit every reasonable market. Then retire it for a year, re-read it, see if any new markets have opened, and consider either rewriting it or permanently retiring it.

*If manuscript is rejected, you must get it back out to another editor within 24 hours.

That's a darned good idea. Six hours is better. Three better still.

The only sane response to any of these pronouncements is a loud and emphatic, “NOT SO!” None of them is universally true. Some may be useful or true for some writers, or under certain circumstances. Some may be helpful as generalities, but are not absolutes. Many-the last seven, for example-are pure baloney through an through.

If it works for you, do it. If it doesn't work, don't.

In addition to the shoulds, writers also face a barrage of equally worthless shouldn’ts. Here are the most common examples:
*Never write about yourself.
*Never write in the first person, or use the words “I,” “me,” or ”my.”
*Never use curse words, slang, or colloquialisms.
*Never use italics.
*Never use exclamation points.
*Never use foreign words.
*Never start a sentence with “and,” “but,” “anyway,” “however,” “nevertheless,” “therefore,” or “I.”
*Never use incomplete sentences.
*Never stray from correct grammar and usage for any reason.
*Never write in dialect; always use standard English.

Has anyone ever actually heard anyone say any of those things?

*Never send something you’ve written to more than one editor at once.

This one is true. Just plain don't do it, unless all of the editors involved clearly state that they take simultaneous submissions.

*Never submit photocopied manuscripts to editors.

This one dates back to the days when photocopies a) came out as negatives (white print on a black background), b) were on an odd slick paper that tended to stick to other sheets of odd slick paper, and c) smelled rather odd. It was true at that time. I don't know if that's been true any time in the last thirty years, though, and I don't recall anyone saying not to send photocopies any time in the last thirty years either.

*Never rewrite, except to editorial order.

Edelstein has completely misunderstood this one, but that's okay: many people misunderstand it. This rule doesn't instruct you to send out only first drafts. Once you've written, rewritten, revised, and made your work the best you can ... send it out. After that it's a trap to rewrite it every time it comes back. A waste of time. You've already made the story the best you could or you wouldn't be sending it out, would you? So send it out, and send it out again, until you've hit every reasonable market. Then retire it, as above. The exceptions are: if someone says "I will buy this if you make the following changes," by all means do so. Or, if the story's sat around in your Retired file for a year and you see a way to make it better, you can rewrite it and send it back on its travels. (Or, suddenly an inspiration strikes and the Muse won't let go of your throat until you rewrite the sucker.)

I repeat: all of these are worthless at best, harmful at worst. Ignore them all.

And ignore that, as well.

There is yet another type of nonsense that we writers often face: strange beliefs about what makes a writer.

What makes a writer is this: the act of writing. If you write, you are a writer. If you dont -- you aren't.

It really is that simple.

---------------------

The actual rules:

What works is right.

The reader is king.

A compelling story compellingly told trumps everything.

A story that's submitted may be accepted. A story that's never submitted won't be accepted.

--------------------

I believe that there is a difference between the POV in this:

Never have I felt quite so worldly as I did on my very first real date, when, after considered perusal of the wine list, I masterfully commanded the waiter at the Log Cabin restaurant in Lenox, Massachusetts, to fetch me a bottle of Mateus Rosé. In its distinctive Buddah-shaped bottle, with its slight spritz, it represented a step up from the pink Almaden that my friends and I sucked down in order to get into the proper Dionysian frame of mind for the summer rock concerts at Tanglewood. (And that seemed a classic accompaniment--rather like Chablis and oysters--to the cheap Mexican pot we were smoking at the time.) Later, of course, as I discovered the joys of dry reds and whites, I learned to sneer at pink wine; it seemed--as Winston Churchill once remarked regarding the moniker of an acquaintance named Bossom--that it was neither one thing nor the other. A few summers ago a bottle of Domaines Ott rosé in conjunction with a leg of marinated grilled lamb cured me of this particular prejudice; I thought I'd died and gone to Provence, though in fact I was at my friend Steve's birthday party in the Hamptons.

and this:

You are not the kind of guy who would be at a place like this at this time of the morning. But here you are, and you cannot say that the terrain is entirely unfamiliar, although the details are fuzzy. You are at a nightclub talking to a girl with a shaved head. The club is either Heartbreak or the Lizard Lounge. All might come clear if you could just slip into the bathroom and do a little more Bolivian Marching Powder. Then again, it might not. A small voice inside you insists that this epidemic lack of clarity is a result of too much of that already. The night has already turned on that imperceptible pivot where two A.M. changes to six A.M. You know this moment has come and gone, but you are not yet willing to concede that you have crossed the line beyond which all is gratuitous damage and the palsy of unraveled nerve endings. Somewhere back there you could have cut your losses, but you rode past that moment on a comet trail of white powder and now you are trying to hang on to the rush. Your brain at this moment is composed of brigades of tiny Bolivian soldiers. They are tired and muddy from their long march through the night. There are holes in their boots and they are hungry. They need to be fed. They need Bolivian Marching Powder.

and this:

When Christopher Ransom opened his eyes he was on his back, looking up into a huddle of Japanese faces shimmering in a pool of artificial light. Who were these people? Then he placed them. These were his fellow karate-ka, members of his dojo. And there stood the sensei, broad nose skewed to the left side of his face, broken in the finals at the Junior All-Japan Karate Tournament fifteen years ago. Ransom was pleased that he could recall this detail. Collect enough of the details and the larger picture might take care of itself.

The sensei asked if he was okay. Ransom lifted his head. Turquoise and magenta disks played at the edge of his vision. He was hoisted to his feet; suddenly the landscape looked as if it was flipped on its side, the surface of the parking lot standing vertical like a wall and the façade of the gym lying flat where the ground should be. Then the scene righted itself, as if on hinges.

We might as well call the difference first person, second person, and third person. If the terminology doesn't work for you, try something else that eases composition. They are, essentially, I'm talking about me, I'm talking about you, and I'm talking about that guy over there.

In the end, while you can flip between POVs between scenes, you'll probably want to stick with one or another inside of the individual scenes to avoid confusing your readers.

---------------------

Oh yes -- and for the excerpts above, the question is: would you turn the page?

---------------------

Most of us are pretty laid-back here.

---------------------

Well, golly. Look what the mail brought today!

Tekno Books (http://goliath.ecnext.com/coms2/product-compint-0001158247-page.html) sent me a contract today. They want the rights to reprint one of my stories for Sony's new e-book reader (non-exclusive electronic, World English, five years).

Well, shucks. No advance, but this is for a reprint. 25% of purchase price as royalty.

I can do that. It's found money.

------------------

A small brag here: This story is by Dave Thompson, one of our students at Viable Paradise last year, and this story was one that he wrote at the workshop:

http://pseudopod.org/2007/03/30/pseudopod-031-last-respects/

This is, BTW, a paying market.

--------------------

Story Idea, Free!

Take The Bourne Identity. Imagine that Jason Bourne, escaping from the Swiss bank, rather than hooking up with dodgy Eurotrash femme Marie instead got a ride from Maria from The Sound of Music.

How does the story go from that point?

-------------------

Work on one, then work on another -- if that's what's natural for you, that's fine with me.

Don't send them out until they're finished, but when they're finished, send them out. You have permission to do anything except not-write.

---------------------

Just never expected to have done my job so well that someone would have trouble finishing my book for a reason like that!

Congratulations, you are a Writer!

(Everyone, give Jennifer a round of applause. And thank her in the best way: Read her book. Then Will Come Night and Darkness (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/1879378523/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/). Buy one; better still, buy a dozen. They make excellent gifts.)

---------------------

Why McInerney?

a) Good writers are more fun to read than bad writers. One of these days I'm going to do another line-by-line, and these will do.

b) He's written at novel length in the three basic POVs, so a comparison, same writer to same writer, is more interesting.

-------------------

Uncle Jim, I posted this question under "Book Promotion Ideas and Advice," but I'd like your take on it.

With the help of a designer who's not a writer, I'm creating a website. I'd like to post a few of my past published articles on the site, as well as a teaser from my WIP. I own the copyright on these pieces.

I'd like site visitors to know that articles are available to reprint with permission, but *only* with permission. Is there standard language for this? Is this understood, or do I need to say something to protect my work? Do I advertise my ignorance by asking this question in the first place?

I'll also have photos, video and audio on the site. Any clues as to how to protect these?

I'd appreciate your advice, and that of anyone else who cares to pitch some in. Thanks.

I'm not a lawyer, but I'd say something like, "All rights reserved. For reprint permission, write to" and an email address.

When you do grant permission, spell out exactly what rights, where, and for how long, and what language you want as far as identifying it as your work (linkbacks, and so on).

------------------------

Page 247 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=247)

04-06-07

James D. Macdonald

12-10-2009, 12:19 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 248 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=248)
04-07-07

---------------------

I posted this before in another thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=581). I'm going to put it here, too:

==========

What type of "promotion" should one expect from a publisher once a book deal has been struck?

I'm going to talk about novels here, because that's what I know about.

Things vary, of course, but the minimum you should expect:

1) Review copies/advance reading copies well in advance of publication to major venues (Booklist, Library Journal, Kirkus, Publishers Weekly) plus major newspapers, and any specialized magazines that deal with your subject matter (you'll work with your publisher on this -- you know your subject).

2) Ads in trade publications.

3) Listed in the catalog.

4) Talked up by the sales force.

5) Press releases to state and local newspapers (you'll work with your publisher on this, too -- they'll already have a list, you can add to it.) Press releases should have copies of the book attached. (A press release without a copy of the book is wasted paper.)

Attractive cover, carefully written back cover blurb ... those should go without saying.

TV/Radio/Newspaper ads, book signings, book tours ... they're a waste of time and money for a first novel. There are other resources a publisher can use, depending ... they vary from foiled-and-embossed covers, up through endcaps, shelf talkers, front-of-the-store placement ... depends on whether they think that the book will get enough extra sales that way to pay for the extra expense.

The single biggest reason someone buys a novel is because they read and enjoyed a previous book by the same author. The next biggest reason anyone buys a novel is because a trusted friend recommended it. All the other reasons fade into single-digit percentages.

A first novelist doesn't have that earlier novel that someone read (that's one reason selling short stories is important, even though there isn't a lot of money in them). So you have to rely on the early adopters, the adventurous folks who pull books off the shelf even if they've never heard of the author, to tell everyone in their carpool or in their bridge club, "You have to read Nameofbook!"

This is tough. But the single most important thing to do is write your second book. Make it better than the first. Then you will have all the people who read and enjoyed your first book buying it, and talking to their friends.

-------------------

The truth about the literary life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt_7KhSbExE

------------------

Action is movement.

That movement may be physical, it may be mental, it may be emotional, it may be moral ... but ... it's moving.

-----------------

Kurt Vonnegut offers advice on writing:

http://puppetmaker40.livejournal.com/326453.html

Some writing advice by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. on the subject of short stories from Bagombo Snuff Box
(http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0399145052)
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

-------------------------

Monday, April 23rd, is International Pixel-Stained Technopeasant Day.

That's the day to post a complete story or novel, your best work, on your webpage for anyone to read absolutely free.

Details here: http://papersky.livejournal.com/318273.html

-----------------------

One of the dead yesterday at Virgina Tech was Christopher J. "Jamie" Bishop, son of science fiction writer Michael Bishop.

It is given to no man to know the day or hour.

----------------------

I've just learned of a new time-and-energy waster for writers: http://charteo.us/

These nice folks will make automatic graphs of your book's Amazon sales rank.

Naturally my first move was to add Mist and Snow's ISBN (http://charteo.us/amzn/items/0060819197). Please help move the graph-line upward. You can make little Jimmy smile, or you can turn the page....

-----------------------

Can I buy you a beer?

Why -- yes! Yes, you can!

In the meantime, buy my books....

--------------------------

You can indeed still get a copy of Atlanta Nights (http://www.lulu.com/content/102550). The perfect book if one leg of your dining room table is too short!

----------------------

Yet another POD-cast: http://podibleparadise.com/?p=24

(Who says I don't like POD?)

----------------------

In honor of International Pixel-stained Technopeasant Wretch Day, I've put up one of our short stories, The Queen's Mirror (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/L_queenmirror.htm).

Y'all enjoy.

http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/pixelstained.jpeg

----------------------

That was so much fun I did it again: On Suivi Point (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/L_suivi.htm)

----------------------

It's been a while (since March, 2004, if you must know) since I've done a wrapup of the books and movies and articles we've discussed and linked to from here. So that can be this morning's project.

The Best of HapiSofi:

Lee Shore Literary Agency (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=15560&postcount=2)

Need Advice (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=956)

Agents Charging Fees (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=978)

Sex Scenes, version II (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82911&postcount=624)

Typesetting (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=83076&postcount=789)

1st Books was OK (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=14844&postcount=83)

Prologues (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82531&postcount=244)

Midbooks (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82834&postcount=547)

Tone (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82453&postcount=166)

PA Authors (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1860&postcount=367)

ST Comments I Love It! (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=9283&postcount=62)

All PublishAmerica Titles are in the Library of Congress (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=11316&postcount=142)

Decent Typesetting (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=94054&postcount=18)

================

Font:

Dark Courier (http://h20000.www2.hp.com/bizsupport/TechSupport/SoftwareDescription.jsp?locBasepartNum=lj611en)

====================

Books:

Cut and Assemble Victorian Shingle-Style House (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0486290824)
Cut and Assemble Victorian Cottage (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0486273113)
Modern English Usage (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0192813897)
The Gangs of New York: An Informal History of the Underworld (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=1560252758)
New Skies (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0765340046)
Between the Darkness and the Fire (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=1880448564)
The Apocalypse Door (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0312869886)
Werewolves: A collection of original stories (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0060267984)
Otherwere: Stories of Transformation (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=044100363X)
Murder by Magic (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0446679623)
Writers Digest (http://www.writersdigest.com/GeneralMenu/)
The Killer Angels (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0345348109)
The Price of the Stars (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0812517040)
The Stars Asunder (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/TSAHEAD.HTM)
A Working of Stars (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/awoshead.htm)
[/URL][URL="http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0425143627"]Hunters' Moon (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004772.html)
Marvelous Max: the Mansion Mouse (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0964993449)
Tournament and Tower (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/WIZ2EXPT.HTM)
Aquatech Warriors (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/swift6.htm)
Tiger Cruise
(http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0812568591/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/)Camelot (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0399225404)
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0261102591)
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0921149921)
Vampires (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0060502223)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0809001608)
Conjure Wife (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0812512960)
Starpilot's Grave (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0812517059)
The Summons (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0440241073)
The Street Lawyer (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0440225701)
Bruce Coville's Book of Spine Tinglers (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=059025930X)
Understanding Comics (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=006097625X)
Psycho (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0812519329)
The Silence of the Lambs (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0312195265)
The Foxfire Book (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0385073534i)
Cosmic Tales: Adventures in Far Futures (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=ASIN/0743498879)

====================

Links:

Advice from Bookslut (http://www.bookslut.com/blog/archives/2004_03.php#001776)
Parody of Jane Austen Doe (http://www.teevee.org/archive/2004/04/01/arts-fanfic.html)
Harry Potter and the Horrid Pain of the Artiste (http://www.geocities.com/school_idiot/hp.htm)
Why 98% of the slushpile is unpublishable (http://www.sffworld.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-2835-p-2.html)
International Slushpile Bonfire Day (http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.html?id=950)

H. W. Fowler (http://www.bartleby.com/116/index.html)
Yetanother Variant (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/001541.html#001541)
Warnings and Cautions for Writers (http://www.sfwa.org/beware/general.html)
How Gramatically Correct Are You? (http://www.quizilla.com/users/BaalObsidian/quizzes/How%20grammatically%20correct%20are%20you%3F%20%28 Revised%20with%20answer%20key%29/)
Medieval Numerology (http://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Numerology.pdf)
The Last Real New Yorker in the World (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/NEWYORK.HTM)
Bestseller Lists 1900-1995 (http://www.caderbooks.com/bestintro.html)
Windhaven Press (http://www.windhaven.com/home/)
Viable Paradise Student Sales (http://www.sff.net/people/greg/vppubs.html)
The Certainities of Life (http://books.guardian.co.uk/posysimmonds/page/0,12694,1152704,00.html)
The Literary Life (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005104.html)
You're Published. Now the Fun Begins? Think Again. (http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/14/books/14HUMI.html?ex=1397275200&en=1a6d0536eb304c28&ei=5%20007&partner=USERLAND&pagewanted=print&position=)
Scrivener's Error (http://scrivenerserror.blogspot.com/)
CafePress (http://www.cafepress.com/viableparadi,yog_1,yog_2)
Print On Demand (http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/sell/books.aspx)
Five Deadly Sins (http://books.guardian.co.uk/posysimmonds/page/0,12694,1201995,00.html)
What Kind of Writer are You? (http://www.quizilla.com/users/edeainfj/quizzes/What%20kind%20of%20writer%20are%20you?/)
(http://www.zonelabs.com/store/content/home.jsp)The Fight Crime! (http://www.theyfightcrime.org/)
Celtic Knotwork (http://www.abbott.demon.co.uk/knots.html)
Harry of Five Points (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005174.html#47815)
Pericles, Prince of Tired Plots (http://www.yarnivore.com/francis/archives/000405.html)
Skinhead Hamlet (http://www.sa.rochester.edu/drama/skinhead.html)
Romeo and Juliet, as performed by Peeps (http://www.theplainjane.com/peep_plays/rj_scene01.html)
The Cask of Amontillado (http://www.literature.org/authors/poe-edgar-allan/amontillado.html)
Viable Paradise (http://www.sff.net/paradise/)
ISBN Checksum Calculator (http://www.morovia.com/education/utility/upc-ean.asp)
Fold a paper pressman's hat (http://hotlinecy.com/images/hat.pdf)
Speed Writing (http://www.writing-world.com/basics/block4.shtml)
On the Getting of Agents (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004772.html)
The Walrus and the Carpenter (http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/walrus.html)
Panel Looks At Financing of Book by Rowland's Wife (http://www.nytimes.com/2004/06/11/nyregion/11impeach.html?ex=1177819200&en=3f7645ade81d1f13&ei=5070)
The F-word Song (http://members.aol.com/berrymanp/alyrics/fword.html)
Hang on the Bell, Nellie (http://www.scoutorama.com/song/song_display.cfm?song_id=241)
A Visit from St. Nicholas (http://www.kidsdomain.com/holiday/xmas/stories/niteb4.html)
Sovay (http://www.garrygillard.net/carthy/songs/sovay.html)
Lime Pie (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82651&postcount=364)
Slushkiller (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html)
Susanna Clarke's Magic Book (http://www.nytimes.com/2004/08/01/magazine/01CLARKE.html?ex=1249099200&en=2fea0b3cbfbd17d9&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland)
Jump-starting a Stalled (or Dead) Career (http://www.sfwa.org/writing/restart.htm)
Stalled Careers, Writer's Block, and Monsters Under the Bed (http://www.sfwa.org/bulletin/articles/stalled.htm)
Bookslut (http://www.bookslut.com/blog/)
Writers are Terrorists (http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2004_10_24_digbysblog_archive.html#109864025365506 773)
Bakeless Literary Prizes (http://www.middlebury.edu/academics/blwc/bakeless/)
Holly Black's Writing Resources (http://www.blackholly.com/writingresources.htm)
Storytelling (http://www.tiedtothetracks.com/storytelling/)
Report to the Authors Guild Midlist Books Study Committee (http://www.authorsguild.org/miscfiles/midlist.pdf)
Le Bar aux Folies Bergere (http://www.gymsm.krefeld.schulen.net/tric/ecrivo/ville_manet.htm)
L'Empire des Lumieres (http://www.essentialart.com/acatalog/Rene_Magritte_L_Empire_des_Lumieres_1954.html)
Origami Crane
(http://www.monkey.org/%7Eaidan/origami/crane/)
====================

Movies:

Jose Chung's "From Outer Space" (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/The-X-Files-Season-3/David-Duchovny/e/24543222590/)
Jose Chung's "Doomsday Defense" (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Millennium-Season-2/Lance-Henriksen/e/024543117643/)
A Fistful of Dollars (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/A-Fistful-of-Dollars/Clint-Eastwood/e/027616785824/)
Shakespeare in Love (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Shakespeare-in-Love/Joseph-Fiennes/e/717951005458/)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/The-Texas-Chainsaw-Massacre/Marilyn-Burns/e/030306629292/)
28 Days Later (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/28-Days-Later/Cillian-Murphy/e/024543088172/)

----------------------

Looks like that thread has been removed. (Occasionally inactive threads -- ones that haven't gotten post in year or two -- get trimmed.)

Not to worry -- most of the same material was reposted in this thread and this thread isn't going away.

I'll delete the dead link.

------------------------

If there's a magazine that still serializes novels ... work it out with the editor. Generally they'll go with chapter breaks. Your chapter breaks should all end on a strong note, at a natural breaking place, with the urge for the reader to start the next chapter built in.

-------------------------

Royalties are trickling in. Just got the money from Harcourt, with the three "Dozens" anthologies: A Wizard's Dozen (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/wizahead.htm), A Starfarer's Dozen (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/starhead.htm), and A Nightmare's Dozen (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/nighhead.htm). Total around forty bucks, but then these have been going, twice a year, since 1993. A tank of gas....

-------------------

Royalties from novels come via my agent. Short stories they send me directly.

--------------------

Write the book.

Later, in the rewrite, you can figure what goes into chapter one and what goes into chapter two.

For all we know the second draft will start with a chapter you haven't written yet and both your current chapter one and chapter two will be in the discard pile.

Get the words on paper. When you reach The End the contents of chapter one will be clearer to you.

-------------------

One way to tell who your protagonist is is to look at your last chapter and see who's in it.

-------------------

If the protagonist isn't in the last chapter, or isn't the main topic of conversation in the last chapter, perhaps you should rethink who the protagonist is.

-------------------

I should mention that it's entirely possible for someone who died before Chapter One to be the protagonist.

============

Meanwhile, Good News! This year's Christmas Challenge story sold, to Fantasy & Science Fiction (http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/). They have up to three years to publish it, but they pay on acceptance. Go team us!

------------------

Is it possible to have multiple protagonists?

Gosh 'n golly you betcha!

Our first novel we had eight.

Main character, protagonist, antagonist, all these fiddly definitions are more of interest to academics, I think.

As long as you have characters that your readers can identify with, and you reveal those characters to those readers, you will not have gone far wrong.

------------------------

Where Margaret Mitchell got the title for her novel:

Non Sum Qualis Eram Bonae sub Regno Cynarae

Last night ah, yesternight, betwixt her lips and mine
There fell thy shadow, Cynara! Thy breath was shed
Upon my soul between the kisses and the wine;
And I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
Yea, I was desolate and bowed my head:
I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.

All night upon mine heart I felt her warm heart beat,
Night-long within mine arms in love and sleep she lay;
Surely the kisses of her bought red mouth were sweet;
But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
When I awoke and found the dawn was gray:
I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.

I have forgot much, Cynara! gone with the wind,
Flung roses, roses riotously with the throng,
Dancing, to put thy pale, lost lilies out of mind;
But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,
Yea, all the time, because the dance was long:
I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.

I cried for madder music and for stronger wine,
But when the feast is finished and the lamps expire,
Then falls thy shadow, Cynara the night is thine;
And I am desolate and sick of an old passion,
Yea hungry for the lips of my desire:
I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.

-- Ernest Dowson

------------------------

Department of Oh, the Humanity! (http://www.unfogged.com/archives/week_2007_05_20.html#006831)

When we married, it was with the well-intended but overly optimistic understanding that she would support my writing until my writing could support us both. And so I have written short stories and poems and novels and essays and newspaper articles and much more. I have spent thousands of dollars attending writing conferences and hiring professional editors to help me perfect my manuscripts. And I have never made more than a pittance in return for these literary labors.

Make sure you read the comments.

----------------------

Many years ago, Doyle (my co-author) was teaching college freshmen.

She was approached by a student who wanted to know why it was that, even though nothing had been marked wrong in her essay, she nevertheless got a B.

Doyle said "For an A paper I expect something more than technical correctness. 'No errors' is not good enough."

The student said, "You mean I have to be interesting too?"

And in this moment the student achieved enlightenment.

---------------

You may learn what you really believe in.

Or you may not.

Right now I believe I'll have a cup of coffee....

----------------

My Favorite Font (http://www.slate.com/id/2166947/): Anne Fadiman, Jonathan Lethem, Richard Posner, and others reveal what font they compose in and why.

========

On the subject of openings, I recall the (perhaps apocryphal) story of the author whose short story had been rejected from a magazine that specialized in "spicy stories."

"There isn't enough sex in it," said the edtior.

"Whaddaya mean?" said the author. "There's sex on the very first page!"

"Yeah, but it's near the bottom."

(This would have been in the days of the pulps, when authors dropped by the editors' offices in New York City to hand in their stories and pick up their checks. Ah, the golden days! We'll never see their likes again....)

=======

Do y'all remember when, back on page 246 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=246), I posted this and asked, "Would you turn the page?"

Never have I felt quite so worldly as I did on my very first real date, when, after considered perusal of the wine list, I masterfully commanded the waiter at the Log Cabin restaurant in Lenox, Massachusetts, to fetch me a bottle of Mateus Rosé. In its distinctive Buddah-shaped bottle, with its slight spritz, it represented a step up from the pink Almaden that my friends and I sucked down in order to get into the proper Dionysian frame of mind for the summer rock concerts at Tanglewood. (And that seemed a classic accompaniment--rather like Chablis and oysters--to the cheap Mexican pot we were smoking at the time.) Later, of course, as I discovered the joys of dry reds and whites, I learned to sneer at pink wine; it seemed--as Winston Churchill once remarked regarding the moniker of an acquaintance named Bossom--that it was neither one thing nor the other. A few summers ago a bottle of Domaines Ott rosé in conjunction with a leg of marinated grilled lamb cured me of this particular prejudice; I thought I'd died and gone to Provence, though in fact I was at my friend Steve's birthday party in the Hamptons.

Well, ask yourself, punk: Would you?

That's the first page of a published novel. In a bit, a line-by-line to see what the author was doing.

-------------------

... periods before all which's?

Hunh?

--------------------

Should I write this new character in third limited as well?

Alas, I don't know that answer. In general, only if it works best that way.

At the moment I have written it in third omni but it just doesn't seem to hold as well as previous chapters.

Ah, then it isn't working.

Try another POV. See if it works better. That's the re-writing stage, though. For now I'd bull through to THE END. But that's me -- something else may work best for you.

Following this, if I write both charcters in third limited how do I write it when they come together?

Try third limited. If it doesn't work ... try something else. No one but you will read your first drafts.

---------------------

Ken, I can't answer that. The length of the new opening should be as long as it needs to be, but no longer.

I would advise that you wait until you reach "The End" before you add it, though if it's screaming to be written by all means write it.

Next:

Yesterday I watched Pan's Labyrinth (http://video.barnesandnoble.com/DVD/Pans-Labyrinth/Ariadna-Gil/e/794043127854/) on DVD, then immediately afterward watched it again with the director's commentary. What a lovely example of storytelling! May I suggest to y'all that you do the same?

---------------------

Do y'all know what the one unforgivable sin is? It's being boring. You can get away with almost anything -- as long as you aren't boring.

---------------------

Pseudonym.

Really.

One of the Things That Happen is the major chain bookstores order to net -- their preorders equal the sales of your last book. But changing your name (as little as using or not using your middle initial) makes you a new author from their point of view.

Write the novel, make it non-boring, and be prepared to have this discussion with your editor.

(As to the question of the sales affecting the sale of your book to another publisher, they'll be looking at sell-through: the ratio of books printed to books that went home in a customer's hand.)

-----------------------

You know what 100% sell-through means? It means the publisher didn't print enough copies.

------------------------

Optimum sell thorugh? Probably 60-70%. Long before you hit 80% the publisher should be going back to press.

Remember: printing the books is one of the cheapest parts of the entire operation.

-------------------------

It is with great joy that we report that Karen Joy Fowler's novel, The Jane Austen Book Club (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0452286530), is written in the first-person plural.

Now that's a point of view we don't see every day.

-------------------

Should I just put it aside and work on something else... book five in the other series (my agent's taking a look at those after this one sells), another stand-alone (I have two started)?

Yes, put it aside. If the one on submission doesn't sell it won't have a sequel.

No, don't work on something in another series.

First, write a short story to clear your palate. (See above, this year's Christmas Challenge for one possible way to do this. Hey, mine sold.)

Next, write a totally stand-alone book. Do it this way: Three pages a day, without fail, for three straight months. At the end of that time you will have a book -- and you'll probably have a call-back from your agent.

And watch a couple of movies along the way. And read a few novels just for fun. You have to top off your fun tank. It may be getting low.

--------------------

(I noticed that there was talk about making a compilation of the more salient bits. Did that come to any fruition? It might be a bit crazy to ask now, considering how long ago that was, but it can't hurt to check.)

Well, yes.

There's the Uncle Jim Undiluted thread, but more than that, there's a book that's in progress based on this thread. My beloved wife and co-author is whipping this raw material into shape. We'll see what comes of that.

Just my posts alone come to over a thousand pages in manuscript format so you see there's some room for trimming and condensation.

-------------------

You have my official permission to Write Crap (http://www.sff.net/people/yog/permission.pdf).

-------------------

http://www.sff.net/people/yog/permission.pdf

-------------------

So there I was, reading the Writer Beware blog (http://accrispin.blogspot.com/2007/06/victoria-strauss-queen-for-day.html), when I read this:

April 29 was apparently Say Nice Things About Michele Glance Rooney Day, because encomiums are offered by yet another lone-post blog. No book sale this time, but Super Writer is happy to describe how she (or he) Was Motivated By Michele Glance Rooney. "I had the good fortune of seeing Michele Glance Rooney speak at a writer's convention, and I feel newly determined and dedicated to finishing my book project...I am half-way through chapter 8 and I've figured out how the hero is finally going to excape [sic] from the wrath of Mr. Bunstable." (No, no, not Mr. Bunstable! Please...I'll do anything...AIEEEEEE!)

And I was instantly inspired.

Bunstable. Willard Bunstable. The name alone was enough to bring a strong man to his knees. Now Edwin sat in his rented room -- rented by the week, semi-furnished -- and awaited the coming of Willard Bunstable.

A footstep on the stair. A floorboard creaked in the hall. A knock sounded on the cracked door. Edwin opened it timorously. The words came out in a rush:

"Mr. Bunstable! I have it. I mean I'll have it. Thursday. All of the money. I swear!"

Then he noticed that the person standing in the door wasn't wearing a greasy yellow-plaid suit. Wasn't wearing a sneer. Wasn't, in fact, a man. It was flame-haired Jasmine, the smiling minx from the corner donut shop.

"Bunstable problems?" she asked. "Lots of folks have them 'round here. How'd you like to get out of his debt ... permanently?"

For the first time in a month hope suffused Edwin's features. He waved his hand in a gesture of welcome, sweeping her into the room. She walked to the sofa by the window and sat, crossing her legs high up, and leaned back. Edwin shut the door and turned to face her.

"You mean it? Permanently?"

She nodded her head in assent. "Depends on how bad you want it."

"Anything!"

"We'll see." Her smile turned predatory. "We'll see...."

She opened her handbag and pulled out a Colt .45 automatic. She laid the pistol on the couch beside her.

"You aren't asking me to kill Bunstable, are you?"

"No. Nothing that easy." She stared into Edwin's eyes. "But Bunstable will be out of your life. Forever."

My friends, inspiration is all around us. And you don't even have to hear a scam agent speak at a writers' conference to get it.

Crap? Of course it is! It's first draft. But it's over a page in manuscript format, which means I'm well on the way to a nice, satisfying 6,000 word (24 pages in manuscript format) short story.

Race ya to the end!

--------------------

Ported from Another Thread (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=69217):

Should I register my novel's copyright before sending it out to an agent?

Short answer: No.

Longer answer: The book probably won't sell anyway, so that's $45 you'll never see again.

Even longer answer: Copyright exists automatically from the moment the work is first fixed in tangible form. The records you make in the course of doing your everyday business, your printouts, your rough drafts, provide more than adequate proof of your original composition.

Longer answer still: Publishers routinely copyright works in their authors' names. Breaking that routine slows them down and costs them. When a new book comes out with a copyright date that's some years earlier (and face it, if you sold your work tomorrow it probably wouldn't hit the shelves for a couple of years) readers in bookstores looking at that date would figure that the book was old, or a reprint. Many would put it back in search of something new.

Go ahead, copyright your book if you have money to burn and can't get to sleep otherwise, but understand that you're wasting your time and money. There is no market for pirated slush. None at all.

Among agents there are two basic kinds: Honest and dishonest. Honest agents aren't going to pirate your work because they don't just want this book, they want your next, and your next, and your next.... Someone who can write a publishable manuscript is rare enough that they aren't going to throw him or her away for a one-shot advantage, and if a book is successful the odds that you wouldn't learn of it approach zero.

A dishonest agent isn't going to pirate the book either, because they couldn't sell a book, even a publishable one, if you held a gun to their head. How are they going to sell a pirated work? Their source of income lies in the fees they collect from writers. Plus, again, if the book has any kind of success, you're certain to find out, and their cheese will be in the slicer for sure then.

An honest publisher isn't going to buy a pirated manuscript because, not only they are honest, but they're going to want to work with the writer to improve the work. No one but the original author could possibly do that.

A dishonest publisher isn't going to "buy" a pirated work because their business depends on the author himself buying multiple copies of his own book to peddle at flea markets. Who's going to have so much ego invested in a manuscript they stole to pay thousands of dollars to pretend to be its author and go from bookstore to bookstore begging the managers to carry a copy?

and

I don't know why you feel you have to say that. I'm not sure what your publishing success is, but the fact that I'm not sure what it is may in fact say something about it. Be that as it may, I don't know if my book will sell. What I do know, is that you certainly don't know whether or not my book will sell. Even if it never sells, you only guessed lucky, 50/50, not because you are aware of my potential in some greater measure than I am.

If one hundred people that I never saw before in my life leapt to their feet in front of me, each one waving a manuscript and saying, "It's my first novel! Will it sell?" I would say to each, "Probably not," without reading a word because for ninety-nine out of those hundred it's true: The book won't sell.

Yes, you have to write the book the best you can.

Yes, you have to polish it until it shines.

Yes, you have to send it out 'til Hell won't have it.

But yes, you have to start writing your next novel (and not a sequel to this one!) the next day, because this one probably won't sell.

Simplifying and moving over out of novels for a minute for the sake of example:

Let's say that you're a short-story writer. Let's say that you write ten stories, and copyright them all. Let's say that one of them sells for $450 (and both of those numbers are completely believable for professional-level short story writers -- selling one out of ten is typical, and $450 for a 9,000 word story is reasonable). At that point, had you copyrighted every one of them your profit would be zero.

Why would you bet $45 on very long odds that have no payoff at all even if you win?

---------------------

No, you can't copyright plot twists either. Just the actual words on actual paper.

There was one fellow who tried patenting a plot, I think, but I don't know if that was ever challenged in court, and I think it's more a symptom of how the patent system is broken than a real solution to a real problem.

Any plot twist has probably been done before, hundreds or thousands of times, all the way back to Gilgamesh. Plot is only one element of your novel in any case. And ideas -- everyone has ideas. That's why "I have a great idea for a book! You write it and we'll split the money!" is so funny.

By the time you have a unique enough description of your plot twist to copyright it -- you have your novel.

---------------------

I have been told that all new writers are EXPECTED to do booksignings these days. The publishers expect it and if you aren't willing, they wont even want to look at your manuscript. Or so I have been told.

Information like that comes from the literary equivalent of learning about sex by hanging around on streetcorners talking with the other kids who have never done it either.

Say the first word that comes to mind when I say:

Reclusive.

"Author," right?

Authors are frequently solitary, introverted, and not terribly socially ept. The only reason to do a signing is if you think it's fun. Signings are so notoriously ill-attended that there are cartoons: An author sitting behind a table with a pile of his books. The bookstore manager and no one else is present. The manager is talking: "Since it's only the two of us could you read my manuscript?"

The stories about how all authors are expected to go on tours, and how only Beautiful People who will Look Good on Morning Talk Shows can get book deals are just that: stories. Forget them. Go write a good book, then write another.

--------------------

A book signing, or a launch party, is a bit of a celebration for the author. Think of them as parties and you won't be disappointed. Think of them as Selling and you will be.

---------------------

Spammer.

Stupid fool thought it would be a good idea to spam one of the threads one of the mods takes a personal interest in?

Bad idea.

(I edited your post to remove the links he was touting.)

-----------------

Hi, J. A.

Your advice is good as far as it goes, but consider this: America is about 3,000 miles across. My driving range is about 200 miles. If I hit every single bookstore in my driving range it would be a fraction of a percent of all the bookstores in America.

Los Angeles alone has ten times more people than my entire state, and I'm not going to fly out to Los Angeles, rent a car, drive around to bookstores just to introduce myself, and so forth and so on.

And what do I do about my books for sale in Poland? I don't speak Polish and I sure can't afford to fly there just to drop by the bookstores.

Do it if it's fun, but don't go nuts if you can't -- or don't want to.

(BTW, it isn't true that only one in five books make a profit. It may be true that one in five earns royalties beyond the advance, but that's the way the system is designed to work. Publishers start making a profit long before the book earns out.)

------------------------

Maybe that's pushing it though. I'm curious if I'm just paranoid, and should by all means let them know of my other works, or not.

I think you're just being paranoid. Your writing credits are to show that someone else thinks that you're writing at a professional level and is willing to bet money that total strangers will agree.

This is all assuming that the book sells to a decent market, of course. The credits that you're listing are your most recent and most prestigious. A string of 1/4 cent-a-word crudzines means that you're writing at that level and have been sucking bottom for a long time. That's more likely to fill an editor's heart with dread than someone with no credits at all, so I'd just leave them out. (I don't list my credits with "little and literary" magazines anywhere.)

There's no percentage in trying to game the system, though. Just tell the truth and go forward.

---------------------

I don't recommend newspaper ads or printing up bookmarks, either.

--------------------

True: Obscurity is a far greater problem for authors than piracy will ever be.

Meanwhile:

The reasons people buy books:

#1: Read and enjoyed another book by the same author.
#2: Recommended by a trusted friend.

All the other reasons fade into single-digit percentages.

That's why I say that the best way to promote your book is to write and publish another book.

--------------------

That's true only you get a chance to publish another book. If your first book doesn't do well enough, book #2 won't sell.

The real gap is with book #3. Book #1 goes out, and it sells what it sells. Book #2 goes out, and you hope it sells better than #1. If it doesn't ... that's when there isn't a book #3 and you have to go to a pseudonym.

Book #1 will only benefit from book #2 if book #1 is still in print.

Write a book a year and this isn't a problem. The other nice thing about putting out books on a regular basis is that when the new book comes out the publisher will often reprint and resolicit your backlist.

Good, free advertising is selling short stories and articles. You reach new audiences, and people who like your writing will seek you out. I've bought many books by new authors after reading shorts by them.

Sure, if you're the multi-talented guy who can write shorts as well as novels. It's as much work to sell a short as a novel, though, and there aren't as many markets. But yes, people who like your short stories will seek out your novels. A short story is less of an investment in a reader's time, so readers are more willing to give a new author a try.

(And if you subscribe to Fantasy and Science Fiction (http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/) now, you'll be certain to get my next short story ... coming soon!)

(Or, go to my webpage and read some of my stories absolutely free. (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/L_queenmirror.htm))

--------------------

As authors, we need to figure out which group we want to reach, and how to reach them.

I really have to disagree. As authors we need to write the best books we can.

If you want to understand "giving the reader something on page one that makes him want to turn to page two" as marketing, well, yes, that's an author's job. If you want to understand "give the reader a last chapter that's so strong he wants to run out and get your next book," as marketing, that's a good way to look at it.

Any other marketing we do is invisible if the publisher isn't already doing its job. As far as running around to bookstores takes time and energy away from writing, it's counterproductive.

Do I do signings? Heck yeah. Most recent one was this last Sunday (and my book sold out, thank you very much). But selling eight, ten, twenty, forty books here and there ... I also saw a couple of movies while I was down there and ate some Indian food (the town where I live is so rural and remote that it's an hour's hard drive to the nearest stoplight), and that was the real purpose and the highlight of the weekend. Getting out of the house.

==========

Everyone: Go here: http://www.lulu.com/content/219003 Buy a copy of my book.

----------------------------

Let's just agree to disagree about this.

Selling an extra 500 books is a 1% difference when you're moving 50,000.

Visiting bookstores in New York makes no difference to my sales in California, nor to my sales in Oregon. But I'd better have sales in California and Oregon, too, or I'm out of business.

If it's fun for you, if you enjoy gladhanding, more power to you. It isn't a requirement.

-------------------

The best book in the world won't sell a single copy if nobody ever hears about it. Part of my job is getting people to hear about it.

Look at all those self-published guys with double-digit sales. That's what author-promotion without publisher-promotion gets.

Getting more interviews and getting invited to speak at more places don't strike me as major inducements. I did a four-state seven-city tour once. Never again. I'll schedule elective oral surgery instead.

-----------------------------

I'm just a midlist mystery author. But I've earned out my advance on my first 3 book, six figure contract, and my brand is growing.

I think self-promotion had a little something to do with it.

Well, I'm just a mid-list SF/fantasy author, and you know my attitude toward self-promotion. I'd rather drive a spike through my hand than do most of that stuff you've listed as Good Things ... and you know what? My results are about the same as yours, as far as selling and earning out.

So no, I don't see self-promotion as having all that much to do with it.

Self-promotion: People who do it well and enjoy it should do it. People who don't do it well but enjoy it shouldn't do it. People who do it well but don't enjoy it shouldn't do it. People who don't do it well and don't enjoy it definitely shouldn't do it.

--------------------

There are also agents who are in cahoots with " professional editors." They recommend that you get your book "professionally edited," and supply their chum's name. The "professional editor" sends a kickback.

See, for example, the Edit Ink (http://www.sfwa.org/beware/Editink.html) affair.

-------------------

Here are some notes on Point of View: Site link removed per request of other site's Webmaster

This is, dare I say it, from the point of view of a filmmaker, but all the arts are related, and the story-telling arts more closely so.

Anodyne, have you been a good little girl? Did you eat all your vegetables? Did you write at least two pages of original prose fiction today? Very well!

Your assignment is to pick up a magazine that you've never previously read, preferably in a genre you don't like, find a short story, and read it from beginning to end.

Then go to your public library, find a novel in that same genre, and read it from beginning to end.

The reason for the short story is to give you an idea of the reading protocols for the novel.

Now: what worked, and what didn't, in that novel, and why?

Or:

If this is too onerous (or if you really, really want that creepy crawlers gross-out treats factory), go to a video-rental store. Get a movie you've never seen before (or read any reviews of). Watch it with the sound off. (Films with subtitles don't count.)

Now write a short story based on the story you think you just saw. You have a week for 6,000 words.

If you're a natural novelist, write a novel instead. You have three months.

Let me know when you've done it....

------------------------

For Celtic Knotwork, I'm not necessarily talking about characters. I'm talking about themes, I'm talking about moving foreground to background and back.

It's partly mechanical, it's partly as a reminder that things have to change, partly because readers have constantly moving focus of attention.

Mostly, though, it's (one of the many) ways I Do Things. If it's useful to you, if it helps you get a grasp on your plot -- then that's good. If it isn't useful, move on to another mode of construction.

-------------------------

I'm working my way backwards through this wonderful thread.

Thank you, and you're quite welcome.

And I ran across something I'd forgotten, which is the power of the complete rewrite; pick up your first draft and then type it all back in again, adapting as you go....

I burned---oh how I burned---through text as quickly as I could.

...

How I do love writing. I'd forgotten. How could I forget. I feel possessed.

You have to love it. Make it burn, light your world. That's the joy. That's what this art is all about. Publishing? Pfah! Nice, but not the biggest reward.

(Oh -- and I recall my AP History exam back in High School, where the essay question was on the outcome of WWII, and I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that the sole unique outcome of WWII was the composition of the song "Dirty Gertie from Bizerte." During the course of the essay I quoted most of the lyrics. (Dirty Gertie, among her other adventures, hid a mousetrap 'neath her skirtie, baited it with fleur-de-flirtie, made her boyfriends' fingers hurtie, and made her boyfriends most alertie. (She was voted, in Bizerte, 'Miss Latrine' for 1930.) I got an 800.....)

Hey Uncle Jim and all,

I finished my novel. First book, third draft.

Woo hoo! Go, you!

Go, have a pizza! See a movie! Have a long chat with a friend! ... And write the first chapter for your next book.

Congratulations!

Mitch, I see you've been a member here for two years, and I see your first post has been in this thread. I am honored.

Sounds good, but I used to do the same, and found that 3.5 floppies are very prone to damage, even when carefully placed in a protective case.

and

Saving to Amazon S3 does. So far I have been paying maybe 5 cents a month for storage and transfer, access from anywhere, all encrypted, and things don't get lost.

Save, save, save. Every day. And save some more.

The thing that I find is the absolute best, though, is Save to Paper. Hardcopy has some real advantages....

Oh--and how I spent my morning. Sitting in my favorite coffee shop (Le Rendezvous, in downtown Colebrook) going over the galleys for "Philologos; or, A Murder in Bistrita" coming soon (probably December) in Fantasy and Science Fiction (http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/) (Subscribe now! Don't miss a single thrilling issue!)

First paragraph (I'm really happy with it):

William Sharps (Ph.D., Harvard, 1844) sat in the dining room of the Coroana de Aur hotel in Bistrita and listened to two men plotting to kill him.

---------------------

I'm going to go along with Allen and Stew21 -- get it written, out to The End, then reread, revise, rewrite.

And 250 words per day is a novel a year. Which is Perfectly Respectable.

--------------------

There are still plenty of markets for short stories. Check out Duotrope (http://www.duotrope.com/index.aspx).

----------------

Arrrrgh! Words per day! Not Pages!

On my very best day I've only managed a bit over a hundred pages.

------------------

(250 pages a day is three novels a week.)

------------------

http://www.sff.net/people/yog/permission.pdf

Permission To Write Badly. Suitable for framing.

-------------------

Things I've Learned Since My First Book Got Published (http://cmpriest.livejournal.com/879864.html) by Cherie Priest

------------------------

Why books get rejected: Example #528907 (http://tontopress.blogspot.com/2007/09/how-not-to-approach-publishers.html)

----------------------

Give it three months in your desk drawer while you write something else.

----------------------

This isn't even the longest thread at Absolute Write.

Meanwhile, here's an Index to Miss Snark (http://wyrdsmiths.blogspot.com/2007/09/truly-garagantuan-miss-snark-index-post.html).

---------------------

Beginning tomorrow I'll be away at Viable Paradise (http://www.viableparadise.com/).

Here's how that ended up last year (http://isbw.murlafferty.com/?p=160).

-----------------------

Duotrope needs help to stay free. If you can donate, please do so.

http://www.duotrope.com/

(Note: I am not affiliated with Duotrope in any way. I just think it's a heck of a neat service and would serve all writers better by staying open and available to all writers.)

-------------------------

Adsense is a blot on the face of the 'net.

But don't ask me. Ask the Duotrope people -- I don't know any of them.

-----------------------

I mean the Adsense ads. Google ads.

Anything you see advertised that's writing-related is usually an ad for a scammer. Perhaps that extends to areas I don't know as well, perhaps not, but for writers, it's scams all the way down.

Much of the time the ads that are served are hilariously mis-aimed.

If someone wants to be supported by advertising, well and good, but they ought to pick their ads, not accept whatever random stuff shows up.

===========

Having said that, here's a place that supports itself with Adsense ads, but is nevertheless useful.

http://nine.frenchboys.net/index.php

Go, and pick up Random Stuff to use in your stories (for those days when the inspiration just doesn't arrive on time).

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My secret shame revealed.

In the Boston Globe. (http://www.boston.com/ae/books/articles/2007/10/16/the_new_adventures_of_old_skywalker/)

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10-17-07
Page 257 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=257)

James D. Macdonald

12-10-2009, 11:07 PM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 258 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=258)
10-26-07

----------------

Where I'll be tomorrow: Book 'Em (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/009519.html#009519).

This is your chance (O ye New Hampshire/Vermont/Massachusetts/Maine fans) to visit.

------------------

A very clever thing indeed:
Stephanie Zvan's Very Smart Writer's Spreadsheet (http://wyrdsmiths.blogspot.com/2007/10/stephanie-zvans-very-smart-writers.html)

It's a tool for looking at a story scene-by-scene, and making each scene explain why it's in your story. You use the spreadsheet software that you probably already have to make this work.

---------------------

Heck, the first draft you're still groping around trying to figure out what the book is about. Second draft is where it starts coming together.

Speaking of which, we're starting to run some bits of deleted draft from one of my old novels in our LiveJournal over at http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/

These are scenes that were cut early on from The Apocalypse Door (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm).

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Do you remember way back here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=246) when I posted...

Never have I felt quite so worldly as I did on my very first real date, when, after considered perusal of the wine list, I masterfully commanded the waiter at the Log Cabin restaurant in Lenox, Massachusetts, to fetch me a bottle of Mateus Rosé. In its distinctive Buddah-shaped bottle, with its slight spritz, it represented a step up from the pink Almaden that my friends and I sucked down in order to get into the proper Dionysian frame of mind for the summer rock concerts at Tanglewood. (And that seemed a classic accompaniment--rather like Chablis and oysters--to the cheap Mexican pot we were smoking at the time.) Later, of course, as I discovered the joys of dry reds and whites, I learned to sneer at pink wine; it seemed--as Winston Churchill once remarked regarding the moniker of an acquaintance named Bossom--that it was neither one thing nor the other. A few summers ago a bottle of Domaines Ott rosé in conjunction with a leg of marinated grilled lamb cured me of this particular prejudice; I thought I'd died and gone to Provence, though in fact I was at my friend Steve's birthday party in the Hamptons.

... and asked "would you turn the page?"

The time has come for a line-by-line, to discover what this author was doing and how he was doing it.

That's the first page from Bacchus and Me: Adventures in the Wine Cellar (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/037571362X/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by Jay McInerney. Five sentences; 201 words.

Never have I felt quite so worldly as I did on my very first real date, when, after considered perusal of the wine list, I masterfully commanded the waiter at the Log Cabin restaurant in Lenox, Massachusetts, to fetch me a bottle of Mateus Rosé.

Never have I felt ... is an unusual word order. Primacy of place in the sentence, and the whole book, to "Never." The author introduces his main character, who happens to be himself. The book is in First Person. "So worldly," combined with the never, tells us that the author feels less worldly now. "Very first real date" tells us that we're looking at a young adult (probably a teenager, from the days when the drinking age was 18). Certainly someone who's callow, and mistaken about being worldly at all. The "wine list" contrasts with the "Log Cabin Restaurant in Lenox, Massachusetts" to produce an irony--the waiter there would hardly have been a wine sophisticate--which leads us to the punchline "Mateus Rosé." This is a lovely description; we can see a young man trying to impress his date, (the "lengthy perusal"). What kind of a wine list would a place called the Log Cabin have? Nothing there would be anything other than common, and probably cheap.

In its distinctive Buddah-shaped bottle, with its slight spritz, it represented a step up from the pink Almaden that my friends and I sucked down in order to get into the proper Dionysian frame of mind for the summer rock concerts at Tanglewood.

Pure description at the head of this sentence, leads into a memory within a memory, from that first real date, to earlier, and even more callow teenager invoking the Roman god of wine. Dionysus (another name for Bacchus), suggests wild, larger-than-life, heroic drinking and merrymaking. We're tending to the orgy side of the scale. This, by someone who has never been on a date. He's trying, oh yes. The author is looking back on his younger self with amusment and fondness. The horrors of pink Almaden are explained by example: the use it's put to by young men heading to second-rate rock concerts.

(And that seemed a classic accompaniment--rather like Chablis and oysters--to the cheap Mexican pot we were smoking at the time.)

Comparison--Chablis and oysters--pink Almaden and cheap Mexican pot. We're putting rose wine in a category, one that only the young, inexperienced, unsophisticated, would enjoy. This parenthetical is the shortest, simplest one on this page. The other sentences are grammatically complicated, revealing the speaker's character as a someone who is infinitely worldly.

Later, of course, as I discovered the joys of dry reds and whites, I learned to sneer at pink wine; it seemed--as Winston Churchill once remarked regarding the moniker of an acquaintance named Bossom--that it was neither one thing nor the other.

"Of course." With a historical allusion, a slightly risque joke that slows us down to get the flavor. This sophisticated person speaks of the "joys of dry reds and whites." He sneers at pink wines. Three sentences in and we have a very good idea of this character. We also have the first inkling of the plot: the classic "The Man Who Learned Better."

A few summers ago a bottle of Domaines Ott rosé in conjunction with a leg of marinated grilled lamb cured me of this particular prejudice; I thought I'd died and gone to Provence, though in fact I was at my friend Steve's birthday party in the Hamptons.

Our speaker is a true gormand; "died and gone to Provence." No longer are we in Tanglewood, we're in the Hamptons (well known for being an expensive neighborhood just chock-a-block with urban sophisticates. Marinated grilled lamb is a world away from the Whoppers that we can imagine the author's younger self eating when the cheap pot gave him the munchies. We've also met a second named character: his friend Steve. The date he took to the Log Cabin and the nameless friends who went to rock concerts aren't important and the reader won't think about them. Now we have someone to keep in mind. The author is also breaking out of the total self-absorption of the young and into a wider head-space, developing his own character.

And who is Steve? Someone who lives in the Hamptons, serves grilled lamb, and is able to teach someone who thinks he knows about wine, and who apparently is a world traveler, something new about the drink.

So. Character revealed in every sentence. Complex compound sentences. Using the Flesch-Kincaid scale, this piece of writing is at the 16th grade level (senior in college).

We've seen several tricks used to slow the reader down, to make the reader sip the prose the way our narrator would sip his wine.

And so... would you turn the page?

------------------------

In the big divide between Character-Based and Plot-Based writing, this book seems to me to be very firmly on the Character-Based side.

But let's look at the genre a bit: there's a sub-genre called "Bob and Me," in which two people learn something together. It's a novelistic approach to non-fiction. You can find it anywhere -- from the columns in Byte magazine through Popular Mechanics and on. The reader will be aware of the book's title: Bacchus and Me. We're being promised a Bacchanal: an orgy characterized by heavy drinking. The subtitle promises "adventures." The wine cellar is a low place. That tension, the urban sophisticate we're meeting now and the reveler that the title promises, can drive us a bit.

McInerney's works ought to have a little disclaimer on the cover: Warning, professional stunt writer on a closed course. Do not attempt this at home.

But there is nothing that a writer should not attempt at home.

-------------------

A perennial question on the boards here is, "Can I write about an unlikeable main character?" The answer is, "Yes."

Even if this main character is utterly loathsome (and I don't really see him that way right now), casting him in first-person means that the character will attempt to justify himself. Since every man is the hero of his own story ....

If you do find yourself trying to write an unlikeable character as your protagonist, consider going the first-person route.

-------------------

The secret to getting your readers to follow any character (likeable, unlikeable, sympathetic, unsympathetic) is to make that character move. You can't follow someone who's standing still. (The best you can do is mill about in that person's general location.)

The eye always follow the object that's in motion.

--------------------

Readers don't consciously drag this stuff out. They find the meaning they need. Writers don't necessarily put the material in cold-bloodedly, either. It could (should?) be just what feels right.

Please notice that the act of building the character started in the first sentence of the first paragraph on the first page. There isn't a line that isn't devoted to defining the character.

-------------------

Which is what makes writing such a difficult task.

One one hand we have the question of Which Came First, The Character or the Plot? On the other hand we have The Prose, It Burns! (And yeah, that's deliberately ambiguous.)

Pretty Soon Now I'll look at the next McInerney excerpt. Then it'll be time for the Christmas Challenge.

----------------------

Oh, yeah -- becoming impatient with novels as we grow older ... that's a function (I think) of having more experience with books. Ideas and techniques that once would have seemed fresh and new are now "Been There, Done That, Got the Tee-Shirt."

And comes the realization that time is fleeting; there are only so many more books that I'll ever be able to read. Does this need to be one of them?

---------------------

Back to the post from ages ago (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=246)...

Today we're going to look at this bit, sentence by sentence:

You are not the kind of guy who would be at a place like this at this time of the morning. But here you are, and you cannot say that the terrain is entirely unfamiliar, although the details are fuzzy. You are at a nightclub talking to a girl with a shaved head. The club is either Heartbreak or the Lizard Lounge. All might come clear if you could just slip into the bathroom and do a little more Bolivian Marching Powder. Then again, it might not. A small voice inside you insists that this epidemic lack of clarity is a result of too much of that already. The night has already turned on that imperceptible pivot where two A.M. changes to six A.M. You know this moment has come and gone, but you are not yet willing to concede that you have crossed the line beyond which all is gratuitous damage and the palsy of unraveled nerve endings. Somewhere back there you could have cut your losses, but you rode past that moment on a comet trail of white powder and now you are trying to hang on to the rush. Your brain at this moment is composed of brigades of tiny Bolivian soldiers. They are tired and muddy from their long march through the night. There are holes in their boots and they are hungry. They need to be fed. They need Bolivian Marching Powder.

That's the first page from Bright Lights, Big City (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0394726413/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by Jay McInerney. This is a slender book, barely over 200 pages. Around 50,000 words. That's short for a novel, but still book length.

(Caveat: Studying openings teaches you openings. Studying endgames teaches you chess. In the same way, to learn novel-writing, study last chapters. It's just that last chapters are Lots Harder to do Line-by-Lines on. I'm taking the easy way out.)

So, what did McInerney do? 237 words, 14 sentences.

You are not the kind of guy who would be at a place like this at this time of the morning.

Second person. We have two characters already from the first word: "You" and the narrator/speaker. We have a place ("a place like this") and a time ("this time of the morning"). So: person, place, time, and, taken as a whole, a problem. The "you" character is male, and there are certain expectations of him (rank? class? background?) that contrast with his location. At twenty-one words this is also one of the longest sentences on this page. It's doing a lot of heavy lifting.

But here you are, and you cannot say that the terrain is entirely unfamiliar, although the details are fuzzy.

Maybe you are the sort of person who's to be found in a place like this. Character building.

You are at a nightclub talking to a girl with a shaved head.

Two of those fuzzy details in a short, punchy sentence.

The place is defined, and another character is introduced. (Not only is this a nightclub, but it's the sort of nightclub where you'd find a girl with a shaved head.) That head is what we call the "telling detail."

Perhaps the narrator is the character himself, split up into a self and a conscious, like Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket? Perhaps the narrator is a friend trying to do an intervention?

The club is either Heartbreak or the Lizard Lounge.

Character's mental state: Isn't sure where he is. Place defined further. We're learning that the first sentence was wrong: the protagonist is exactly the kind of guy who would be at a place like this. Which means that he's as freaky as a girl with a shaved head, only it might not show on the outside.

All might come clear if you could just slip into the bathroom and do a little more Bolivian Marching Powder.

A longer sentence, and the introduction of cocaine. The problem becomes clearer for the reader, though not necessarily for the protagonist. The place is even further described; the kind of nightclub where you find bald girls and people doing coke in the bathrooms.

Then again, it might not.

Five words. A more staccato rhythm. The protagonist's mental status further defined. Confusion. This is character building.

A small voice inside you insists that this epidemic lack of clarity is a result of too much of that already.

Perhaps the narrator speaking of himself in third person? The readers are told that the protagonist is seriously drugged-out. The protagonist seems to be having a lucid interval, as he suddenly looks around and asks "What the hell am I doing here?" I presume that the rest of the book will tell us that.

The night has already turned on that imperceptible pivot where two A.M. changes to six A.M.

"At this time of the morning," a question left hanging from the first sentence, is defined. It's already getting light outside. There are hours of missing time between two and six. The protagonist is in serious trouble. Still no plot on the horizon, but character and place are making up for that. (Oh, and that "imperceptible pivot" is a lovely image, isn't it? Gorgeous prose all through here.)

You know this moment has come and gone, but you are not yet willing to concede that you have crossed the line beyond which all is gratuitous damage and the palsy of unraveled nerve endings.

Thirty-five words. The longest sentence of this paragraph, about midway down the page. We learn that the protagonist is damaged and shaky and lying to himself.

Somewhere back there you could have cut your losses, but you rode past that moment on a comet trail of white powder and now you are trying to hang on to the rush.

Thirty-three words. We're at the slowest point in this pair of compound complex sentences. The reader will slow down too. We're in metaphor-land here, and this too will slow the reader.

Your brain at this moment is composed of brigades of tiny Bolivian soldiers.

Thirteen words. The sentences get faster and shorter from this point on. Extending the Bolivian Marching Powder metaphor. And the image of fragmentation is introduced. The army, while it usually acts as one, is composed of individuals fully capable of independent action regardless of what the commanding general orders.

They are tired and muddy from their long march through the night.

Twelve words. A shorter sentence still, extending the metaphor, tying it into the protagonist's activities last night.

There are holes in their boots and they are hungry.

Ten words. Extending the metaphor.

They need to be fed.

Five words. Simple sentence. Fast rhythm.

They need Bolivian Marching Powder.

Five more words. Extending the metaphor. Character and situation developed further.

We've seen some really excellent character development done by a trained stunt writer on a closed course. The protagonist is talking to a girl, but all he's thinking about is getting more coke to keep going, keep damaging himself, because that's what his fragmented brain, the ragged army barely under his control, needs to keep going. Even though he knows that "keeping going" isn't what they need. They need sleep, warmth, dry clothing, new boots, food.

Now the question: would you turn the page?

-------------------

What I particularly like is the way the sentence rhythms imitate the mental processes of the protagonist.

--------------------

The narrator stays in 2nd person all the way through. Which may be part of why this book is so short. It's at the bottom end of novel-length.

What the various opinions about person show is that there's no one right way. What's right for one reader may be totally wrong for another. Which is why there are many books by many writers, not just the One Perfect Novel. (One definition of "novel" is "a book-length work of prose fiction with a flaw.")

Another famous use of first-person present-tense is All Quiet on the Western Front (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0449213943/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/).

--------------------

Your characters can have more than one problem. In fact, I encourage you to beat your characters severely about the head and shoulders.

--------------------

Time for another line-by-line:

When Christopher Ransom opened his eyes he was on his back, looking up into a huddle of Japanese faces shimmering in a pool of artificial light. Who were these people? Then he placed them. These were his fellow karate-ka, members of his dojo. And there stood the sensei, broad nose skewed to the left side of his face, broken in the finals at the Junior All-Japan Karate Tournament fifteen years ago. Ransom was pleased that he could recall this detail. Collect enough of the details and the larger picture might take care of itself.

The sensei asked if he was okay. Ransom lifted his head. Turquoise and magenta disks played at the edge of his vision. He was hoisted to his feet; suddenly the landscape looked as if it was flipped on its side, the surface of the parking lot standing vertical like a wall and the façade of the gym lying flat where the ground should be. Then the scene righted itself, as if on hinges.

That's the first page from Ransom (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0747553661/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by Jay McInerney. (Please note how short a page is. Three pages a day for three months is a novel. It's easy ... all you have to do is sit there and do it.)

Okay, let's look at this page sentence-by-sentence.

When Christopher Ransom opened his eyes he was on his back, looking up into a huddle of Japanese faces shimmering in a pool of artificial light.

A person in a place with a problem. This is a classic opening form; you'd be hard-pressed to do better. We learn the protagonist's name by the third word.

Christopher means "Christ bearer." "Ransom" suggests salvation. (C.S. Lewis used the character name to suggest that meaning in his Space Trilogy; so did I in my Mageworlds books.) We've got baptismal imagery here. I don't know if the author will run with that, but the possibility is open to him. Nothing happens by chance in a novel; every word is an individual artistic choice.

We're in the absolutely classic third-person past-tense. Again, an excellent choice. Only use some other person and some other tense for the very best of reasons.

Who were these people?

That's the character's internal thoughts. Not marked with italic, but obvious from the context. A simple sentence.

Then he placed them.

Still simpler. The effect is of someone returning to consciousness.

These were his fellow karate-ka, members of his dojo.

Further defining place. Note use of foreign words (but still words that the average educated US readers should understand). More complex grammar. More about the protagonist too: We learn that Ransom himself is a karate-ka, and belongs to a dojo.

And there stood the sensei, broad nose skewed to the left side of his face, broken in the finals at the Junior All-Japan Karate Tournament fifteen years ago.

The sentences grow longer and more convoluted as the protagonist returns to consciousness. We have a second character introduced, with a telling detail, and a bit of history. More implications; this is full-contact karate.

Ransom was pleased that he could recall this detail.

Drop back to simpler grammar. We're focusing back on the protagonist.

Collect enough of the details and the larger picture might take care of itself.

End of the first paragraph with a philosophical statement, and perhaps foreshadowing of the overall shape of the novel.

The sensei asked if he was okay.

Paragraph two starts with a simple sentence, indirect discourse. Redirection to the second character.

Ransom lifted his head.

Very simple sentence. First physical motion in the book, and it's very small.

Turquoise and magenta disks played at the edge of his vision.

Sensual detail. But complex words: turquoise and magenta, not green and red. We're learning, not by being told directly, that Ransom was clocked upside the head, hard enough to knock him out.

He was hoisted to his feet; suddenly the landscape looked as if it was flipped on its side, the surface of the parking lot standing vertical like a wall and the façade of the gym lying flat where the ground should be.

Very long, compound-complex sentence, weird imagery. More definition on where he is -- in a parking lot. Ransom is passive here, giving us the impression of weakness. Whatever he told the sensei, about being okay, he's clearly not okay. This will slow the reader down.

Then the scene righted itself, as if on hinges.

Contrast: simpler sentence. Ransom is the observer. And a lovely image.

We've seen bunches of telling details. The prose is smooth. The imagery is outstanding.

Again, the author is concentrating on building scene and defining character. Plot hasn't yet arrived, for all that there's been some physical movement. The movement here has mostly been mental, from unconsciousness to observation.

So we've learned quite a bit more about the character and his situation/problem, even though some major mysteries are present. We don't know why he was on his back in the parking lot. It's night time (he's out of doors yet there's artificial light). A parking lot is an odd place to be having a formal karate bout. Was he mugged, despite his karate training?

The protagonist has a Western name, although the scene seems to be in Japan, or at least in a Japanese community. Lots to wonder about here.

So: the master question. Do you want to turn the page?

-------------------------

It's time for the annual Christmas Challenge!

This year, we're going to write a ten-page short story. Beginning, middle, end. The protagonist is fourteen years old and lives in your city, present day, same gender as you are. Your audience is mixed gender, age twelve.

Now the fun part: take a die. Roll it.

If the first roll is 1, 2, or 3, write in third person. If it's 4 or 5, write in first person. If it's 6, write in second person.

Roll it again. If the second roll is 1, 2, or 3, write in past tense. If it's 4 or 5, write in present tense. If it's 6, write in future tense.

Write three pages (750 words) per day until you're finished, starting today. Then put the story aside until Christmas. Then read it aloud, and rewrite it until you love it.

On Wednesday the 2nd of January, go to Duotrope (http://www.duotrope.com/) and find five appropriate markets (paying semi-pro or better rates). Send your story to each of them in turn, following their guidelines to the letter. Don't let the story sleep over when/if gets rejected: send it back out the same day.

-----------------

Of course. It's got Japanese stuff in it.

This points up a serious issue:

Some readers will love a story because, for example, it has Japanese stuff in it; they'll read anything, no matter how dreadful, based on one criterion.

Other readers will hate a story because, for example, it has Japanese stuff in it; they'll refuse to read anything, no matter how wonderful, based on one criterion.

We as writers can't do anything about either of those cases. All we can do is write something that pleases us and hope for the best.

----------------------

Brief excerpts for the purpose critical analysis or teaching falls under Fair Use.

(Now, mind you, Fair Use is a defense against a charge of copyright violation, not permission, and there's no guarantee I'd win, but there's enough chance that I'd win that the copyright holder would have to be nuts in the head to bring a suit.)

------------------

Even when I was 14, I couldn't get my mind around it.

Couldn't get your mind around what?

Person, in a place, with a problem: Jeremy (age 14), on Second Street (after school), finds a wallet with $10,000 in hundred dollar bills (but no personal information showing who it belongs to).

There you are. If you can't get all that into the first sentence I'm mistaking the man. One down, 167 sentences to go. What's Jeremy do next?

----------------------

Make sure your story is starting in the right place.

The right place is where the Exit Only door swings closed behind the protagonist and there's no going back into the nice comfortable room where he started.

(To become a better writer: Write tons, then cross out tons. No writing is wasted, but much won't be anything anyone will ever want to read.)

-------------------

What a comforting thought.

Writing is many things, but comfortable for the writer isn't one of them.

--------------------

I think we can say that 2nd person is the right person for this story, told in this way.

Second person fiction is the prose equivalent of a Rachmaninoff sonata. It can be done beautifully, but you have to be good.

-------------------

It isn't necessary to have the characters in the various plotlines aware of each other.

Here's one way to do it:

Write a story of about 30,000 words, set in a location, with a given theme.

Write another story of about 30,000 words, set in the same location, at a different time, with another view of the same theme.

Write a third story of about 30,000 words, set in the same location, at a different time, exploring a third take on the same theme.

When you have those three well in hand, slice them lengthwise, and layer them together like a sandwich. The reader, taking a bite from the edge and eating through to the other edge, gets a bit of bread, meat, and cheese in each mouthful. Sometimes with more pickle, sometimes with less, and a surprise dab of mustard in the middle that brings out all the flavors and textures in a new way.

--------------------

How would an editor feel? Dunno.

Does it help reveal character? Does it support the theme?

Write it the way you're going. You can go back and forth in subsequent drafts. Right now, go to the end, then read it to see how it sounds.

--------------------

A book Uncle Jim threw against the wall, and why he threw it.

The book is The Northeast Kingdom (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0515133612/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by Peter Collinson. The sell-line on the front cover is: "One prison is about to experience a riot and jailbreak. One town is about to learn about fear and survival."

Near as I can tell it's first (and so-far only) novel. I picked it up off the shelf in a bookstore, because I do that sometimes if a book appeals in some way. I like mystery/thrillers, this one is set near where I live, and the cover is a grabber. So I bought one.

And I started to read it. It started well.

The story is set in "Gilchrist, Vermont," a fictional town. Based on internal evidence it would be somewhere around where Island Pond, VT, is really located.

I was perfectly willing to believe that there was such a town (although I'd be familiar with it if it were real, I'm willing to suspend my disbelief that far).

I'm willing to believe that there was a SuperMax penitentiary in that town -- prisons are getting built in all sorts of rural areas. Heck, there's talk of building another one over in Berlin, NH. I was willing to suspend my disbelief.

This breakout is set in the midst of a howling blizzard, so the town is cut off. To aid to the being-cut-off, the villains have hijacked the town snowplows, so no one can get in or get out.

Even though, through local knowledge, I know that just about every 4x4 pickup truck in town would have a plow blade attached, I was willing to give 'em that one. I was willing to suspend my disbelief.

So, why did I throw this book across the room?

SPOILER WARNING

SPOILER WARNING

SPOILER WARNING

Quite early on in the narrative, the Head Bad Guy decides to tell one of the townspeople how he managed to escape (and get his band of equally evil and depraved criminal followers out too): His henchmen on the outside had drugged the guards by introducing drugs into their groceries over the preceding weeks. The guards had all gone unconscious at the same time, and our villains escaped!

And this brought me to the question of how in the heck did they know which guard had Wheaties for breakfast, and which one had nothing but coffee, and which one had a fried egg, toast, and orange juice; and how did they drug the right package with exactly the right amount; and how did they arrange it that the guard, and only the guard, ate from that package, and ate from that package for the first time ever on that day; and how did he arrange it that no one would be running late and decide to skip breakfast; and how did he know far enough in advance that a blizzard was going to hit on that day, so he could have his outside henchmen get to the various folks' shopping trips a week, two weeks, or even a month in advance?

And which the heck drug is it that you can eat at some time in the morning, that will produce rapid-onset unconsciousness at a specified time later that day, with no symptoms beforehand?

At that point the suspenders of my disbelief snapped.

The real sorrow of it was this: There was no reason whatsoever for the villain to explain how he escaped. He was monologuing (as they put it in The Incredibles (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/B00005JN4W/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/)). He could have left it mysterious. All we really needed to know is that he got out; how isn't a required element. We can assume that it was something Intensely Clever. The story doesn't even start until he and his band of criminals show up in town. No viewpoint character was around for the actual breakout. So to add a bit of icing to the blunder, this particular episode of over-explaining was a huge infodump Telling Not Showing.

Arrrgh!

I threw the book against the wall.

I keep meaning to finish it, but... it's been five years now. I don't think I will.

-------------------

Character-driven vs. Plot-driven?

Well, first of all, there isn't a bright sharp line between 'em. All stories must have both, character and plot, and either (and both) will move the story along.

Character-driven usually means that the story is more internal, and is moved along by the characters' wants and needs.

Plot-driven usually means that the story is more external, and is carried by the action. This-happened-then-that-happened.

Plot-driven means that we have to blow up the bridges at Toko-Ri. Character driven is one pilot's journey of self-discovery. Along the way he may also happen to blow up some bridges (which might, by chance, be at Toko-Ri).

Nothing's 100%. (Ray Nelson, who wrote "Eight O'Clock in the Morning," deliberately tried to write a story that was completely plot-driven, going so far as to name his protagonist "Nada." It didn't work. There's still character-driven elements in his story.)

-----------------------

You're allowed one wild improbability. A snowstorm that the residents of northern Vermont can't handle on their own is already wildly improbable.

A master villain who can predict the exact day and hour of a New England snowstorm weeks in advance (even without using the Mysterious Super Drug that would leave the Sinister Doctor Fu Manchu scratching his head and saying "How did he do that?") doesn't need to turn to a life of crime. There are ski resorts who would pay him far more than he'd ever earn by super villainy for him to exercise his talent.

But really, a plan that requires that not one single person (from a large group of persons who are not under your control in any way) doesn't say "Screw it -- this morning I'm going to have the Cheerios instead" or the plan will fail, that isn't a workable plan. That's a plan that can only succeed if the author is on your side. If you're going to do that, have them dematerialized inside the cells and rematerialize outside the wall, using the Mystic Power of the Rosicrucians, learned from an elderly Unitarian/Universalist from Bethel, Maine.

------------------------

The problem is that the story is "mixed bag of townfolk and tourists, cut off from aid, are under siege by Wicked Criminals; they must learn to survive, work together, and overcome."

No part of that requires the Wicked Criminals to explain themselves. The Wicked Criminals aren't even POV characters.

------------------

How's everyone doing on their Christmas Challenge?

------------------

How To Do What You Love (http://www.paulgraham.com/love.html)

------------------

Nearly the New Year. Time for a reading assignment!

Okay, we're going to look at Noir Fiction.

Let's start with The Pardoners's Tale (http://www.courses.fas.harvard.edu/~chaucer/teachslf/pard-par.htm) by Geoffrey Chaucer

Skip forward a few hundred years to The Murders in the Rue Morgue (http://www.poemuseum.org/selected_works/rue_morgue.html) by Edgar Allan Poe.

Forward a bit more to some Sherlock Holmes. Try A Study in Scarlet (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/1420925539/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) (novel) or The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0439574285/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) (short stories).

Onward!

Here's The Simple Art of Murder (http://www.en.utexas.edu/amlit/amlitprivate/scans/chandlerart.html) by Raymond Chandler, and here's Chandler's The Big Sleep (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0394758285/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/).

Hammett's The Maltese Falcon (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0679722645/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/).

Double Indemnity (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/037541438X/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by James M. Cain.

A different approach to crime:
The ABC Murders (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/1579126243/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by Agatha Christie, perhaps the first serial killer novel, years before the term "serial killer" was coined.

To Have and Have Not (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0684818981/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by Ernest Hemingway. Also, The Killers (http://www.geocities.com/cyber_explorer99/hemingwaykillers.html) (short story). A brilliant work, almost all dialog.

For another superb stylist, go to Fright (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0843957743/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by Cornell Woolrich.

Fifty years or more after they were first published, all these are still in print. Think about that.

Read the best, my friends. Fill your heads with good stories. They provide the soil in which your own flowers will grow.

-------------------

Genial uncle, is any sign of a universal standard for online submissions coming forth?

For a given market, follow the market's guidelines. (Most wordprocessors will save in any given format.)

If no format is given, I'd use this format:

Rich Text Format (RTF) only. Not .doc, .txt, .wpd, or anything else. Most wordprocessors allow a "save as" function with .rtf as one of the choices.

Turn off "Smart Quotes." Replace all curved quotes with straight quotes. Replace all curved apostrophes with straight apostrophes. Indicate italics with underlines. Replace the elipsis character with three periods in a row (...), not with a true elipsis (…). Indicate an em-dash (long dash) with two hyphens (--) not a true em-dash (—). Scene breaks should be indicated with a single hash mark (#) alone on a line.

And don't be too concerned. If they had a format in mind that they wanted, they'd have specified it, right?

-------------------

Oh -- when you're creating that attachment -- don't call the file STORY.RTF or SUBMISSION.RTF. Use your name and a keyword from the title as the filename.

-------------------

Happy New Year!

-------------------

The Lumberjack Joke was in post #369, way back here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=82659#post82659).

------------------

Hardcover and softcover are the same. Please yourself (and your pocketbook) with that choice.

-----------------

I've been committing random story here at AW.

First, in the thread When Did "Beta" Become a Dirty Word (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=87583&page=3) here in the novels forum.

Please notice that this is a complete story with a beginning, a middle, and an end:

"Beta" became a dirty word at 4:57 pm, August the 8th, 2007.

At first few took notice. A motorist would mutter "Beta!" under his breath as a traffic cop pulled him over. A schoolboy would write "Beta" on a wall.

But before long a tourist was removed from an airplane for saying "Beta!" in a loud voice when the pilot announced that the plane would be delayed half an hour at takeoff.

The real breakthrough came with the release of Quentin Tarantino's Blood In The Drains, starring Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi, and Madonna. The screenplay used the word "beta" a record-breaking 25,027 times in dialog, and an additional twelve times in scene descriptions.

After that there was no denying it: "Beta" had become a dirty word.

The second was in the Erotica forum, in the Which POV during a sex scene?... (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80440&page=2) thread.

Someone had suggested 2nd person, and again I was inspired.

You are not the kind of guy who would be in some strange girl's bedroom at this time in the morning, but here you are, and you're looking at a blonde with really big knockers. Her name is either Sheryl or Stacie, but it would be too embarrassing to ask which, because of what you've been doing for the last hour, and besides her mouth is full. You are mildly surprised to learn that you can still feel embarrassment, especially after she brought out the "Jeff Stryker" brand realistic-molded toy and the tube of K-Y, and showed you what she wanted you to do with them, and you did those things. Maybe you could keep calling her "Doll" or "Darling" or "Babe" but you wonder if she'll see through that and ask you what her name is. Then you wonder what she'll say if you ask her what your name is, even though you're sure you told her, back in the bar. Before she invited you home. Before Jeff Stryker and before the rabbit fur and before the video camera. All the wondering distracts you and she looks up and asks what's wrong and inspiration strikes. You say, "It's the beer; I have to take a leak," and you think that maybe you'll check for her driver's license in her purse on the way back from the bathroom.

Aside from the homage to Bright Lights, Big City, please notice that this is the opening paragraph from a novel. Depending on what our second-person protagonist finds in that purse, the story could go in a lot of different directions.

Maybe the young lady is only 15. Maybe there's a police badge, a running tape recorder, and a .38. Maybe the driver's license shows she's Mrs. Giovanni "Meatgrinder" Luciazzi, wife of the Mafia chief who has never yet been convicted for any of the thirty-seven mob hits he's been suspected of. Maybe she's Meatgrinder Luciazzi himself, after his sex-change.

That's a plot hook, and we can go a lot of ways with it.

-------------------

The best advice on what to do with an advance that I ever got (from a multiply-published, multiple-award-winning author) was: "Buy a dishwasher."

--------------------

Dishwashers make washing the dishes fast and easy.

--------------------

I have several bathrooms that need to be cleaned and some leaves that need to be raked

And, if all else fails, you can always wax the cat.

----------------------

In Media Res (Latin for In The Middle of Things) is often a good place to start.

That "Res" is the same "Re" that you see in business letters, meaning About or Concerning. Only with "Res" there's more of them.

Since all of our stories are presumably part of a continuous narrative that started back in pre-history and will go on to the end of time, it's a good plan to start the part of the story we're telling when things get interesting. We could start telling our detective story with the night our protagonist's grandparents met (or, if we're James Michener, with the rocks that would eventually form lower Manhattan cooling), but for most of us it's better to start the story when the blonde sashays in the door with a two-dollar gat in her hand and a look on her face that spells trouble.

-----------------

Who wants to write a story (I see around 6-9,000 words) featuring cooling rocks, blue-green algae, and slime-molds? Oxygen is a plus but not required.

Must have action, adventure, and a slam-bang climax.

Your market is Exciting Evolutionary Tales and your deadline is Tuesday.

Okay, cowboy, go to town!

-----------------

Stuck for a plot, young Jedi? An inspiration you need? Here is another slick quick trick... use a joke.

Jokes (of the Story Joke variety, not the riddle or pun) are condensed Plot In A Box. For example, the last line in my previous post was from the punchline of a joke. Here's how it goes:

The sheriff of a small western town spots a young man walking down the street, and the young feller is wearing nothing at all. So the sheriff hauls him in for indecent exposure. Once they're in the jail, the sheriff asks him how he came to be walking down the street starkers, and the fella says, "Well, sheriff, it's like this:

"There I was in the roadhouse having a beer, when this young filly comes up to me and asks if I'm a cowboy. So I says 'Yep,' and she asks me back to her trailer.

"Once we go there, she whipped off her blouse, and said 'Okay, cowboy, take off your shirt,' so I did.

"Then she whipped off her skirt, and said 'Okay, cowboy, take off your jeans,' so I did.

"Then she whipped off her undies and said, 'Okay, cowboy, take off your shorts,' so I did.

"Then she leaned back on her bed and said, 'Okay, cowboy, go to town....' "

========

Note that this has a person in a place with a problem, it has characters, it has a beginning, a middle, and an end, it has a surprising yet satisfying climax, it has dialog, it has POV -- heck, most of it is a flashback in a frame-tale.

Jokes are great.

A single joke is a short story. A novel is a comedy routine made of many jokes built around a common theme, each one topping the one that came before.

The funny thing is, your story doesn't have to be funny.

----------------------

The Dumb Little Man (http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/09/complete-your-first-book-with-these-9.html)writes a book. Good advice all the way around. FREX:

Book bible. Most writers won't bother with this, but that's a mistake. If you are serious about your writing, a book bible is a must-have. However, you can work on that last. This is ideally a binder with everything about your book contained in its pages: plot outline, character sketches, notes, bits of dialog, small details, scene description, research, etc. You'll find this extremely useful. The habit to develop: get a binder, write notes on characters, plot, scene, dialog, and keep it updated, as soon as you're done writing. So: write, log it, then update your book bible.

------------------

It's coming up on the end of January. Has everyone sent out their Christmas Challenge story?

------------------

Kcshrimp: Sure, you can.

But determining exactly how much you'd have to change it to make it a "new" work is something to discuss with a lawyer.

If you get it reprinted now, you get reprint-level money.

A better plan would be to take the experience of writing this book, and use it toward writing a new book. Then, when that's sold, and your editor asks you "Do you have anything else?" You can say "Yes, but there's a bit of a story to it...." and fill her in on what went down.

The kind of numbers that vanity books sell, that previous publication won't be a bar then (I think). But selling it straight, with its history ... tricky at best.

----------------------

Crap you say? Here's some!

This is a story fragment (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1148644&postcount=290) I posted on another thread about a year ago.

You probably want to read the part of the thread it's in, to see what inspired it.

On a lonely stretch of road in Togo, two families, two wealthy families, are destined to meet. Little did they think that morning, as they filled coolers with beer and set off on holiday, that the Nouvissi Express Road would prove to be their undoing.

S. J. Tann, an Engineer with Shell Oil, turned to his wife just as the speedometer nudged sixty-five miles an hour. The sun was in their eyes, for they were eastbound. "Are you wearing your knickers?" he asked. "In case of an accident, that is."

"No," she responded, in her usual simpering manner. "Knickers would only get in the way. I don't believe in knickers, nor does our daughter."

"You wearing your knicks?" S. J. asked their lovely just-turned-eighteen daughter, riding in the backseat.

"Nope!" she responded enthusiastically, and popped open another beer. Her short skirt rode up her thighs rendering her words superfluous.

Meanwhile, westbound on that self-same Nouvissi Express Road, Engineer (with Shell Oil) S. J. Tea turned to his wife. "I just read a book by my cousin, Travis," he confided. "Great book. Starts with a rich guy getting in a car accident."

"Wait a moment?" his wife trembled. "We're rich."

"You'll wake our daughter," S. J. said. "Hand me another beer." He glanced in the rearview mirror, to where their lovely daughter lay asleep in the back, her seatbelt unfastened. "No worries, though, the rich guy lives."

"If you mean that wonderful book, Atlanta Nights, available in brick-and-mortar bookstores from sea to shining sea, that I saw you reading, the rich guy in the auto accident dies."

"Lives."

"Dies."

"Lives."

"Dies."

Meanwhile, in the Tann automobile, S. J. had a question: "Do we drive on the right or on the left in this country?"

"Well," his wife suggested, "If the women wear knickers, we drive on the left. If, on the other hand, they wear panties, we drive on the right."

"What if the women don't wear anything at all?"

"If they aren't wearing knickers we drive on the left," she stated. "If they aren't wearing panties we drive on the right. I, myself," she sniffed, "am not wearing knickers."

Faster and faster, they drove east. In the left-hand lane.

In the Tea auto, the argument grew hotter:

"Lives!"

"Dies!"

"Lives, lives, lives!"

"Dies, dies, dies, times a thousand!"

"Lives, times a million!"

Neither was watching the road as they drove west, in the right-hand lane (which, from the point of view of the rapidly approaching Tann car was the left-hand lane).

Suddenly, Mrs. Tea screamed out, "Watch out for the Tann car!"

"Trying to get out of admitting you were wrong?" Mr. Tea asked. "And I don't see any tan car. The car directly ahead of us in our lane, with which we are about to have a head-on crash, is red!"

-----------------

From http://www.iconsf.org/authors.php

Authors' Workshop

The Author's track is proud to offer you a chance to have your work critiqued by professionals. Coordinator Terry McGarry, James Macdonald, Debra Doyle and Ann VanderMeer will analyze your short story in two ninety minute sessions during I-CON 27. Participation is strictly limited to five writers. Fantasy or science fiction stories must be submitted by email only, in MS Word format, double spaced, with a maximum length of 5000 words. The deadline for submissions is February 15, 2008. NOTE: you must be available both Saturday and Sunday to participate in the workshop.

Please send to authors@iconsf.org with the words "Writer's Workshop" in the subject header. Participant confirmation will be sent by March 5, 2008. Submission implies your permission to provide your story to all workshop participants

------------------

Free e-books. (http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=358)

Oh, yeah. And free stories (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/L_queenmirror.htm).

---------------------

When the characters want to start telling the story for you: Let them. It makes composition a lot easier.

------------------------

PS: One question for Jim (or anyone who feels like fielding it). I've usually shortened "Science Fiction" to "Sci-Fi", but noticed (while reading this thread) that you all usually refer to it as "SF". Just want to know if there's any derision that goes along with saying or writing it "Sci-Fi"?

Like for example: I'm from the San Francisco Bay area, and when we shorten the name, we say "San Fran", but anyone who says "Frisco" is instantly known to be a ... how do I put this politely? Tourist.

I'd hate to come off as a tourist. Even though for now, I am.

Welcome, Adam.

You've got it exactly right: People who call Science Fiction "Sci-fi" come off as tourists (unless they pronounce it "skiffy," which you should only attempt if you're already a black belt eighth dan skiffy writer).

The reasons for this are lost in the mists of bad metaphors, and include such questions as "How do your feel about 4E Ackerman?" For right now, don't think too much about it or attempt to suss out the logic: If you must abbreviate Science Fiction, abbreviate it as "SF."

It's a minor thing, but it's a tribal marker.

---------------

On your other points: one of the nice things that screenwriters tend to notice when they switch to writing novels is that the special effects budget is no longer a concern. You can go with what the story requires. Another nice thing is that you get final cut. (Sure, the editor and copyeditor will read and mark up your book, but you can write "STET" beside anything they fooled with and your version goes.)

On the down side, selling a book usually brings in nowhere near as much money as selling a screenplay.

----------------------

I'm working on my second novel and trying to use different P.O.V. characters for the first time. Question: Is it ok to have the door close, but not lock, in the first chapter, which is where my MC is first presented? The situation I have him in is bad, but not life altering as in the fourth chapter.

Is there any way to get it to lock? If the character can say "Screw this; I'm going back inside where it's comfortable and warm," you lose a bit of forward motion that won't be easy to regain.

Another question: Where is the best place to find a concise explanation of the different P.O.V. options? I've read about it on this thread and in books and other sites, but, with the differences in terminology and definitions, I'm still not comfortable with my understanding.

There's really nothing to understand.

You have three basic points of view.

First Person: This story is about Me.

Second Person: This story is about You.

Third Person: This story is about that guy over there.

The two rules are: (1) Know where you're standing when you describe a scene, and (2) don't confuse the reader. Of those, the second is the most important.

Here's an example by me in First Person (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/L_queenmirror.htm). Here's an example by me in Third Person (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/L_suivi.htm). I've never written anything (other than the brief paragraph here and there as an illustration) in Second Person.

I suppose I could go through one of them and point out the Points of View.

----------------

What publishers do, or don't do, I don't know. I'm sure they try their best.

It's always been my opinion that books sales increase when times are hard. People still want entertainment, and dollar-for-hour, books are a great bargain.

-----------------

I would be happy to answer that. You see, I am a simple man, rooted to the earth. Four steps up a ladder is as far into space as I prefer to go. Imagery is confusing and I tend to spend so much time trying to pronounce the characters' names, that I forget where they are, how they got there and what they're doing. I relate better to baseball bats, hot dogs, and cigars, unless the author is trying to trick me with symbolism.

My very good friend, I've been trying to present general principles that pertain to all fiction, not just to science fiction.

Have I given my Chess Set Analogy yet?

Let us take one of those games of chess that I've used as a metaphor for plot and character. The novel is the game.

If you use an Orcs'n'Elves chess set, you have a fantasy novel. If you use a Space-Aliens'n'Rocketmen chess set, you have a science fiction novel. If you use a Housewives'n'College-Professors chess set you have a mainstream novel. If you use a Cunning-Murderers'n'Detectives chess set you have a mystery novel.

The game itself is the same. The characters go to their most effective places; the characters move and interact; surprising combinations develop; a satisfying conclusion is reached. All that's changed is the feel of the game.

When you have ideas like that? What do you do? Do you just write it, taking the risk of losing your readers or do you just keep it to your self.

Write your book. When you've finished, write another book. Repeat.

Occasionally I have a similar thought about names especially in Fantasy. Were there never anyone in an alternate reality, or dimension that was named just plain Jim?

Well, I have an eight-volume science-fantasy series where the main characters' names are Owen, Beka, and Ari.

Close enough?

... adding needed description and back story should flesh it out.

Rather than description and backstory (readers need far less backstory than many writers think), consider adding plot.

----------------

I'm facing a dilemma at the moment: stay true to the story and write it in the second-person present, or cop-out and stick to the first or third.

Stay true to the story.

If, after you've finished and let it sit for a few days, you re-read it and discover it isn't working, you can re-write it in some other POV.

----------------------

3. I like the image of the Celtic Knot for plotting but I'm still not clear how it all works. I know it's hard to explain without images but I guess what would help me understand the concept better was if, along with the image on Post #3552 (or any other image actually) there was a short description of a plot that had been based on it so I could relate the threads with the plot elements. (For example, one thread is at the top and two are going down. What does that do to the story?)

My Circle of Magic (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/wiz1head.htm) series was based on the Celtic Knotwork plot pattern.

-----------------

Which threads / patterns should I be looking for?

Look for a circular patter with six major nodes. Look for Will/Randal/Lys, look for hand/head/heart.

It's all there.

-----------------

Wish me well.

Good luck!

Make sure the front end of your book matches the back end.

And start writing your next book.

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Page 267 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=267)
03-13-08

James D. Macdonald

12-11-2009, 12:36 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 268 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=268)
03-13-08

-----------------------

More writing tips for beginners (http://www.jeffvandermeer.com/2008/03/11/evil-monkeys-guide-to-creative-writing-tips-for-beginners/).

And advice on how to write killer short stories (http://io9.com/366707/8-unstoppable-rules-for-writing-killer-short-stories).

-------------------

Could you please elaborate on front end matching back end.

Make sure that everything you planted at the beginning sprouted and bore fruit by the end. Make sure everything you harvest at the end was properly planted at the beginning.

Chekhov's gun and all that.

On writing a new novel; I have this inability to multi task on two novels at the same time. I have tried doing it, but it seems that I do this at the detriment of one MS over the other.

You might surprise yourself.

You aren't writing the old novel any more -- you're editing it.

Try to write a page a day of Something New and Different.

-------------------

Happy Easter, y'all.

-------------------

There's a time to study how-to, and a time to go-and-do.

-------------------

I have never encountered a successful professional writer who did not read.

Reading in general, yes. Reading how-to-write books? Maybe not so much.

-------------------

Take for instance JRR Tollkiens works. They didn't become popular until after his death.

Say what? The Lord of the Rings was incredibly popular in the mid-sixties, and hasn't stopped since. (Do you recall the text on the back of the Ballantine edition, "Those who approve of courtesy, at least, to living authors...."?) Do you remember the Ace Books pirate edition?

Yes, The Sword of Shanara was as close to plagiarism of The Lord of the Rings as copyright law would allow. Lester Del Rey knew it, but figured (correctly) that he'd make a ton of money by publishing it.

---------------------------

Bizarre copyright regulations put The Lord of the Rings in the public domain in the USA, which is why Ace was able to publish a pirate edition without the author's approval (or paying him any royalties). That's why the Ballantine edition, which was registered in the USA, is substantially different from the British first edition (among other things, Aragorn's sense of humor was removed in the revision process).

-------------------------

I'm just back from I-con, where we did a little workshop (which I participated in).

During one of the sessions I had an insight into the employment of characters in short stories:

Use 'em, abuse 'em, or lose 'em.

I trust I do not need to unpack that?

=============

The Historian? As it happens, post 4812 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=193) in this very thread is the first two pages from that work, as we play "Would you turn the page?"

=============

And welcome, roseangel! What are you working on?

------------------------

Don't worry over-much about your openings when you start. When you reach "The End," the appropriate opening will become apparent.

-----------------------

Art is not life.

While revenge makes a dandy plot-engine it's a lousy way to spend your time.

------------------------

My first draft is so awful I don't think there's any salvaging it.

Then your second draft will surely be better.

Have you left your book to marinate in your desk drawer for three months while you worked on something else? Books that suck immediately after you've finished them often improve just by letting them age.

Print the whole thing out. Get a couple of red pencils and a sharpener. Go to a coffeehouse or a library. Read your manuscript page-by-page, scribbling all over it as you find things that can be moved, changed, fixed, made better, deleted, expanded, or reshuffled to a different POV.

Go back and retype.

Or... try retyping your book entirely from memory.

I know a writer who creates her second drafts by re-keyboarding the book. If it isn't worth retyping a passage, that passage it isn't worth reading.

-----------------------

My problem is info dumps.

Use infodumps sparingly. The readers need far less information than you think. (In particular, never tell the reader something before he cares about it.)

Sometimes the best way to deliver an infodump is to just take a paragraph or so saying the thing.

The worst way to infodump is with the "As You Know, Bob" dialog trick. ("As you know, Bob, Ronald Reagan was born in an apartment above the local bank building in Tampico, Illinois on February 6, 1911 to John "Jack" Reagan and Nelle Wilson Reagan....") Particularly avoid having two characters explaining things to each other that they both already know perfectly well--two Marine Corps sergeants won't discuss the standard number of men in a standard Marine Corps squad, even if the author desperately needs to let the readers know that there are twelve men per squad.

Good infodumps? Mine, of course.

-------------------

Some things that drive me frantic include The Character Describes Himself By Looking in a [mirror/puddle/polished wood on the top of the bar] and Describing What He Sees. This goes double if the character is female and goes on to a complete and loving description of her breasts.

Other cliches: you've seen the various Evil Overlord lists (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html)? Or this list of Science Fiction cliches (http://www.cthreepo.com/cliche/).

If you want to find out if your fantasy story is Just Another Fantasy Story, you can't do better than pick up a copy of Diana Wynne Jones' The Tough Guide to Fantasyland (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0886778328/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) and read it (wincing) all the way through.

-----------------------

I think I should have stuck more to the traditional fairy tale I based my messterpiece on. It would have been a stronger story, I think.

Try it that way in the next draft. What's stopping you?

Tam Lin (http://www.thumpermonkey.com/mp3/Tam_Lin.mp3)

O I forbid ye, maidens a',
Who wear jeans on your ass,
Tae come or gae by San Berdoo
Where Tam Lin's sellin' grass.

There's none that gae by San Berdoo
But wish that they were dead:
He'll either burn you for some weed
Or nail you in his bed.

Janet's put on her miniskirt
Cut high abo' the knee
An' she's awa' tae San Berdoo
As fast as drive can she.

She had not entered in a bar
Nor ordered up a beer
When up and sauntered young Tam Lin
Says "Whatchoo doin' here?"

----------------

Only if the third eye was necessary to the plot, and the reader cared about it by the time it was mentioned.

-----------------

In fact, I have been criticized for not describing my MCs in detail.

Workshop, right?

That's a cheap'n'easy workshop critique: "I'd like to [have more description of|know more about] X."

What that means is that the reader didn't have the entire work available; wasn't under the spell when selection started and had to stop before momentum could build.

--------------------

The appropriate level of detail is inversely proportional to how fast the plot is moving.

===================

Now that fictional city: Show people living in it. Your story is about people.

------------------------

Yep, I'm that same James Macdonald (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006448.html).

-------------------------

Making Light, the weblog referred to above, has suffered a catastrophic data loss.

Details, and what you can do to help, are here: http://www.sunpig.com/abi/

----------------------

The lurkers can help by finding and saving data from various web-caches.

----------------------

Ego Alert

Reader reviews of our short story "Philologos" (from here (http://nightshadebooks.com/discus/messages/378/8433.html?1209569784)):

"Philologos: or, A murder in Bistrita" by Debra Doyle and James D. Macdonald.
This was an absolutely superb story that fully made up for the deficiencies of the other four. Beautifully written, marvelous word-painting descriptions, and great language. A true mystery all the way though, with every twist and turn unsuspected. In the end, our mild-mannered hero turns into a brave and Shirlock-Holms-like superman. You think he's going to get the girl, but no, he anticipated her perfidy and wins the day. Hooray!

Philologos: or, A Murder in Bistrita: I'm surprised at the positive comments GVG forwarded, given the protagonist can do no wrong. That said, I thought it was brilliant. Going against form makes it a delightfully surprising story. A very close second for best in issue.

------------------

How not to get an agent (http://theswivet.blogspot.com/2008/05/lessons-in-how-to-never-get-agent-part.html), part #45857.

No, really, seriously, sending hate mail after you get a rejection will get you talked about, and not in any particularly positive way.

I get the feeling you don't know talent when it stares you in the face or emails a one page query letter. If you base all your judgements on a one minute note, you are either psychic or don't have a clue that there is much more to this world than your office or small stable of writers who somehow bribed cajoled or kissed someone's ass to get there.

See also, Talking Back to Agents (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34351) here at AW and Bernard's Letter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU4S2BIqoHY). This is such a bad idea.

See also, the ABM (Author's Big Mistake) (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45540): responding in any way whatever to a negative review.

-----------------------

In my opinion? You don't need to respond to a rejection. The interaction is completed. Write back when you have a new book to pitch.

------------------------

I have read that 120000 words is perfect (mystery) -

You could go down to the bookstore and do a fast word-count on what's coming out now.

120,000 seems a bit on the long side. I'd have thought around 80,000 words would be better for a first novel.

But! If the 120,000 words are the exactly right 120,000 words, then that's how long the book is.

--------------------

This may be a writing-workshop-specific problem. Really, I try to listen to criticism, even/especially the comments I really disagree with, because often they're the most perceptive.

Remember the rule that when someone tells you that there's a problem at a certain point there's probably a problem, but when they tell you what the problem is, they're probably wrong.

What has me confused is what to do when a critiquer says 'this wasn't established' or 'you never told me this' and looking back at the text, I can see that very thing established or stated. For instance, I (rather clunkily, I know) introduced a character as 'ten-year old Savannah', and later had her refer to getting her Super Salmon swimming badge, but a critiquer said 'I had no idea how old this character was.' Or having characters walk by a cathedral, and a critiquer surprised at a later mention of Christian belief (in a fantasy story).

A couple of questions: First, this is a workshop. Were they reading a chapter-per-week? If so, it's hard to remember what was established earlier.

Second, is it possible that the information was established in a weak paragraph, or in a weak sentence, or in a weak part of the sentence?

Important information goes in main clauses, not subordinate clauses, for example. Any sentence that begins "there was" is weak. The first word and the last word in a sentence is a position of power.

Also, if your readers really-for-sure need a certain piece of information, tell it to them three times.

Should I revise to insert more markers, or put it down to individual variations in reading attention? Sorry if this sounds grumpy, but I'm frustrated. I don't want to hammer random story points into the ground, but I don't want readers to be confused, either.

How important is the information to your story? Also, in workshops, "I didn't get _______" is a very easy critique. It's almost as easy as "I want to know more about ___________." Take the feedback, use it as you see fit, and relax.

Uncle Jim, et al: Any tips on adding foreshadowing to a scene in third person limited?

Foreshadowing is one of the lesser-understood tricks of Quality Literature. Look for foreshadowing wherever fine books are sold!

My story starts with a kid on his first day of high school. I want to clue in the readers early on to the fact that there's some seriously creepy things going on. I'm afraid that if they view it as just a "trying to fit in" kind of story, it may be hard for them to accept the weirdness that happens later on -- like if a UFO appeared in chapter 4 of a Western.

There's a lot to be said for just letting the weirdness happen.

I'm tempted to jump in as an omniscient narrator and say something like "Little does he know than in less than 24 hours... blah blah blah," but that would violate POV.

Arrrgh! Not only does it violate POV, it's a cliche of bad melodrama. "Little did I know!" "Had he but known!" Use those and you will be mocked.

Has anyone else ever run into this problem?

Why, yes! I ran into exactly that problem, in high-school horror novel. How did I solve it? By using symbolism (another Literary Trick). My protagonist was entering a mystery plot. Therefore, in the first chapter I had her glasses fog up. Let me see if I can find Chapter One of Pep Rally (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0061060844/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by "Nicholas Adams" around here somewhere....

---------------------

The constant balancing act is between making your story comprehensible to the deaf old lady in the back row while at the same time making it entertaining for the clever buggers in the front row.

--------------------

Here it is. Chapter One from Pep Rally by "Nicholas Adams." While it's labeled "YA horror," the genre is actually mystery. There are no supernatural elements.

Please be kind. I was young. This was a packaged novel, written in under a month, using a series bible that didn't make as much sense as it should have. It didn't have my real name on the cover. And there were other horrors in the making of this book that I may yet tell.

If I were writing this today, there's much that I'd do differently.

But I'm presenting this as an example of foreshadowing in a high school setting. Foreshadowing starts in the first paragraph, and continues thereafter.

Cathy Atmore hurried up the step of Cresswell High. Even though the sky was a bright October blue, the chilly wind whipping through her short brown curls made her wish she'd worn a hat. But wearing a hat in the morning would have given her flat, bounceless "hat hair" for th rest of the day. She didn't need that. It was bad enough that she had a plain face behind glasses thicker than the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle.

Inside, she joined the other students already surging through the halls of the old brick school building. Cresswell High had a student body of well over a thousand--few enough that the students knew each other by sight, but too many for anyone but Mr. Cooder, the school secretary, to all of their names.

Inside the school, locker doors banged and crashed as the student hung up their coats. Cathy walked thorough the crowded hallways, hurrying to get to her locker and then to homeroom. She waved to her friend Cheryl Barkham, but she didn't dare stop to chat so close to the final bell.

Cheryl was more like an acquaintance anyway, not a close friend like Jennifer Brody. Jennie had been Cathy's best friend all through grade school, as well as her next-door neighbor, until Mr. Brody struck it rich with his string of Lucky Chicken franchises. Then the Brodies had moved out of the Upper Basin district and into a beautiful colonial-style house in Gaspee Farms.

Cathy would have stopped to talk with Jennie even if it did make her miss the last bell. Jennie hadn't abandoned her--the short kid in glasses from the unfashionable part of town--even after Jennie had developed into the popular, good-looking star of the senior cheerleading squad.

Cathy needed to talk with Jennie today. She hadn't seen her since the party Friday night--a noisy, crowded after-the-game celebration at Eric Skidwell's house in Rocky Banks Estates--the sort of thing Cathy got invited to every once in a while because she was Jennie's friend. Jennie had wanted to talk about something that night; she'd told Cathy so, but then her boyfriend, Don Fulman, had come up and hauled Jennie off to dance in the room with the stereo. Cathy had hoped they would have a chance to talk later, but she'd had to leave the party early, before Jennie came back.

Cathy made it into her homeroom just as the last bell rang. Mrs. Pangborn started calling the roll and marking the absences on the slip for the school office.

Cathy answered "Here" when her name was called, without looking up from her history notebook. Mr. Osgood's American History class was first period, and she had to prepare for it now. Osgood never smiled before about two in the afternoon, but history would have been Cathy's least favorite subject even at a better time of day. She usually looked over her notes and reread the assigned material during homeroom.

She bit her lip, noticing for the first time since Friday that there had been an assignment over the weekend--one she hadn't bothered to do, hadn't even remembered until this moment: a one-page report on the Dred Scott decision. Too bad I don't have a dog, Cathy thought. Then I could say the dog ate it.

Then she shrugged. The assignment didn't matter except to her own sense of self-respect; her grades were good enough that she could slide by with a B or even a C in American History and not worry. As long as she got her diploma, the transcript for her first three yeas--plus her SAT scores--were all that any college would ever see.

She'd done pretty well on the SAT, too. In fact, Catty was one of the brains of Cresswell High, at least according to her friend Jennie. Not that being a brain had kept Cathy from forgetting all about that stupid history paper. Now she'd have to listen to Osgood the Grouch as a morning warm-up. Mr. Osgood had a way of talking, quiet and sarcastic, that could make people feel like dirt if they did something he disliked. And not doing homework was up near the top of the list of things he didn't like.

Cheryl Barkham leaned over from the next desk.

"Have you seen Henry O'Toole this morning? He's wearing a black shirt and a white tie and a fedora! He looks like a TV gangster."

Cathy shook her head. "What some people won't do to get noticed."

Henry was always doing something, she reflected--usually something weird, and sometimes something obnoxious. But he was mostly harmless, unlike that creep Mel Downing, who would stand too close and stare down her blouse, even if it was buttoned up to her neck. The things girls had to put up with ....

She returned to her history book. No, a report hadn't magically appeared tucked inside the back cover. Maybe Mr. Osgood wouldn't be here today, and they'd have a substitute. Maybe the roof would fall in. Maybe--there went the bell. Time to go to class.

The roof hadn't fallen in on the history room, and they didn't have a substitute, either. Everything was just as it always was: the world map on one wall, the dusty flags of a dozen countries tacked around near the ceiling, the rows of flimsy-looking desks. And Mr. Osgood in his three-piece suit standing with his hands in his pockets up at the front. The bell rang again just as Cathy sat down.

"Good morning, class," Mr. Osgood began. "I hope you had a pleasant and productive weekend." He didn't look as if he hoped any such thing. "Please pass your homework papers forward."

Cathy rustled in her notebook, trying to look as if she had something to turn in. No use letting Osgood get started on her any sooner than he had to. She was so intent on finding the nonexistent paper that she missed the first words of the announcement that crackled over the intercom.

"...following students report to the office at once," said the dry voice of Mr. Cooder. "George Jacobs. Franklin Reed. Eric Skidwell. Donald Fulham. Todd Barber. Sylvia Roper. Cheryl Barkham. Pamela Greeley. Matthew Wilcox. Linda Sturgess. Susan De Sica. Cathy Atmore..."

Cathy Atmore! That was her!

"Have to go to the office," she said. She scooped up her books and hurried out before Mr. Osgood could stop her. She was so relieved that she wouldn't get caught without her assignment that she didn't wonder why she'd been called to the office until she was down in Cresswell High's big, echoing lobby.

The lobby seemed even larger than usual without a throng of people coming and going. A row of chairs had been set up along one wall of the corridor, and several students were already waiting there. Cheryl sat in one of the chairs, and Don Fulman was sitting in another.

Cathy recognized most of the other students. They were all friends of hers--well, she admitted, not close friends exactly. Just people she knew and whose parties she sometimes went to because of knowing Jennie. Most of Jennie's crowd these days lived in Gaspee Farms and Rocky Banks Estates and had parents who were doctors and lawyers. Cathy lived in the Upper Basin and had a father who drove eighteen-wheelers up and down the coast for a living.

"What's going on?" Cathy whispered as she walked past Cheryl's seat.

Cheryl shrugged. "Don't know."

Cathy went into the office. "I'm here, Mr. Cooder."

The school secretary was the sort of man you'd expect to wear a bow tie, but he didn't. His hair was gray and he never smiled or joked with the students. Today, he was holding a clipboard. He made a mark on the clipboard, then looked at her.

"Cathy Atmore," he said. "Take a seat in the hall with the others."

"What's this all about?" Cathy asked.

"Take a seat," Mr. Cooder repeated. "Wait until you're called."

She went back outside and sat down next to Cheryl. Taking a sheet of paper out of her notebook, she went to work paraphrasing what her history textbook said about Dred Scott.

Time passed. Don Fulman sprawled in a chair on the other side of the corridor. After a while he stuck his feet out in front of him and yawned, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. Cathy went on writing.

Suddenly, she was aware of Mr. Cooder standing in front of her. "Miss Atmore," he said, "please pay attention. This is the second time I have been forced to call your name."

He indicated one of the inner doors inside the main office. The brass nameplate on the door said HENRY LIPTON, ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL. "Through there," he said.

Cathy walked in, clutching her books. Something funny was going on. Mr. Lipton was in charge of student discipline at Cresswell, and he had bigger stuff to worry about than anything she might have done lately.

The next surprise was waiting inside. Mr. Lipton sat in a chair to one side, busying himself with some papers in his lap. A strange man sat behind the desk. He had a bulging manilla folder, a thick legal pad, and a portable tape recorder.

The man looked up. He was thin, with brown hair and a deeply creased face. In the light from the windows behind him, a thin swatch of stubble showed along one side of his jaw, as if he had shaved in a hurry this morning. He tapped the recorder and it began to whir.

"Take a seat, Miss" -- he looked down at his note pad--"Atmore."

Cathy sat.

"My name is Detective Rogers, Cresswell Police Department. I have a few questions for you."

"Yes, sir," Cathy said.

"First I'd like you to look at this photo," said the detective. "Do you recognize this person?"

He pulled a picture out of his folder and pushed it across the desk. Cathy leaned forward and picked it up. The picture was from last year's Cresswell High yearbook. It showed a blonde girl in a cheerleader's letter sweater smiling at the camera.

"Yes," Cathy said. "That Jennie. Jennifer Brodie."

"How well do you know Miss Brodie?"

"She's my best friend," Cathy said. Her uneasiness grew stronger. "Is something wrong?" she asked. "Is Jennie okay?"

"Just answer the questions, please," Detective Rogers said. "How long have you known Miss Brodie?"

"Since first grade at least," Cathy said. "Please, sir, what's the--"

"When was the last time you saw Miss Brodie?" Rogers cut in, his face expressionless.

"Last Friday," Cathy answered. "Friday night."

"About what time?"

"Nine or nine-thirty," she said. "I don't remember exactly. We were at a party."

"Where would that have been?"

"At Eric's house.

The detective looked at his notebook. "Eric Skidwell?"

Cathy nodded. "He's on the football team, and the party was to celebrate winning the game against Arnold High. We lost, but he went on with the party anyway."

"I see," the detective said. "And who else was there?"

The questioning seemed to go on and on. Had Jennie come to the party alone? Did she leave alone? Did she seem happy? Sad? Worried? Who were her friends? Who were her enemies?

Cathy answered all the questions the best she could, and all the time the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach grew stronger--worse than not doing her homework, worse than not knowing the answers on a test.

She didn't know what to say about enemies. Jennie didn't have enemies--everyone in the school wanted to be her friend. She used to laugh about it. And Jennie liked being everyone's friend, too.

"Do you think Miss Brodie might talk to strangers?" Yes, she might; she'd talk to anybody, even nerds like Stu Martin and Bill Madsen, who spent most of their time communing with their keyboards down in the computer lab. "Did you see any strangers around the party?" No, not that Cathy recalled. "Did Miss Brodie mention meeting any strangers over the last couple of weeks?" No, Jennie hadn't. "Did Miss Brodie try to get in touch with you any time over the weekend?" Not that Cathy knew of; she'd been in Fall River with her mother from Saturday morning until Sunday night.

At last the detective looked up from his notebook. "Thank you for your cooperation, Miss--ah, Atmore. If you think of anything else to tell me, you can reach me at this number." He handed across a business card with his name and the detective bureau number printed on it. Cathy slipped the card into her purse.

"That will be all," said the detective. "Please ask Mr. Cooder to send in the next student."

Numbly, Cathy stood and turned to go.

She walked out into the hall where Mr. Cooder was waiting. As soon as Cathy came through the door, Mr. Cooder pointed with his pencil at Linda Sturgess.

"Next," he said. Linda went into the assistant principal's office.

Cathy made her way to the second floor and Mr. Osgood's room. She was halfway to her seat before she noticed that she was in the wrong class, and she retreated, embarrassed, amid the sound of laughter.

The bell for the end of first period must have rung while she was with the detective, and she hadn't even noticed. She went on to her second-period math class, and even though she'd done all the homework here--she enjoyed math, and she was good at it--she didn't hear a word the teacher said all period. She couldn't wrench her thoughts away from the image of the police detective, asking his patient questions down in the assistant principal's office.

And those questions, all about friends and enemies and when-did-you-see-her-last--Detective Rogers wouldn't be asking questions like that if everything were okay. Something was wrong. Something had happened to Jennie Brodie.

-------------------------

I may yet go through this chapter line-by-line, trying to recreate what I was thinking at the time.

The problems I had in the first chapter were to a) introduce the characters, b) get in the necessary backstory, and c) make the cop unsympathetic so that later on (when Cathy figures out Who Dun It) she'd try to handle the problem herself rather than do what any rational being would do and call the police.

Anyone interested in what happened next: Used copies are available on the 'Net starting at about one cent (plus shipping and handling).

-----------------------

I need to pay more attention to where that information is being placed

The source of information and the point of interest should be the same place.

Because people's interest keeps wandering, it's up to you to direct 'em.

This is another place where Henning Nelms shines. I really, really recommend Magic and Showmanship (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0486410870/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/).

---------------------

Foreshadowing doesn't really work if you put big flashing signs on it that say "Hey, guys, this is foreshadowing!"

Foreshadowing should be subtle. It's part of what makes the ending we choose be the "right" ending, because it feels right to the readers.

If you're going to have a major character die of cancer at the end, have a minor character eat a crab-meat sandwich in chapter one.

-------------------------

George awoke to the feel of a gloved hand across his mouth. In the glow from the bedside clock, he could see Bill, his neighbor, a finger in front of his lips, signifying silence.

The hand dropped from his mouth to his shoulder. Bill whispered, "Grab some pants and follow me, quickly. I'll explain in a minute."

George followed Bill down the hall and out the back door.

"Where's Amy?" Bill asked, as they were moving across the back yard.

"Her mom was feeling bad, so she went down to visit for the weekend."

Bill nodded, then continued across the field toward the woods.

I'd be interested in seeing where you're going with this.

--------------------

What would I do differently?

Well. How about this?

Cathy recognized most of the other students. They were all friends of hers--well, she admitted, not close friends exactly.

If they were all her friends I hope she recognized them. Delete "most of."

For all the time and space I give to Mr. Osgood and the Dred Scott decision, neither play any part in the rest of the book. They're just there to fill space. That's a terrible idea. They aren't advancing the plot or supporting the theme. The only tiny bit of justification is that they reveal Cathy's character, but only the tiniest bit, and there are better ways to do that.

Incidentally, Cathy was named Rachel in the submitted draft. Then the cover copy came out with the wrong name on it, so we had to search-and-replace on Rachel. It ruined several of my references to A Study in Scarlet.

The way this book came about: The publisher wanted a line of teen-horror (R. L. Stine was very big back then). So they came up with the idea of an eight-book series. Then the editor went on maternity leave without getting authors for the last two books in the series. They noticed over at the publisher when it was a month before they were supposed to go to press. So I got a phone call asking if I could write two novels in a month. My answer was "No, but I can write one." This was that book.

---------------------

I've handed all my posts from this thread to Doyle, and asked her to edit it into a book.

---------------------

That reminds me of something Steve Brust said, citing Jim Macdonald, during one of the (recorded) Fourth Street convention panels (http://cluebytwelve.net/4thSt2008/), about how there are two kinds of magic tricks: 1) the kind with a gimmicked device (a stacked or marked deck, or a box with a false bottom), and 2) the kind done by skill, prestidigitation. The difference is that after you know how they're both done, you can still appreciate watching the trick done with prestidigitation.

Passing for Human (http://avocadovpx.livejournal.com/126843.html)

That, my good friends, is the difference too between a novel you can read once, and novel you can read many times.

===========

Please go to the recorded panels. Listen to them. There is much to be learned.

----------------------

A first novel is your first published novel, regardless of whether you've written twenty others before.

You'll hear it said that a first-time author should write a book between 80K and 100K words. Here's why that is:

Publishers know about how many copies of a first novel usually sell. Printing a whole lot more than that number doesn't make sense: they'll just fill the warehouse with unsalable merchandise.

Publishers know the cost-per-unit of books of various page lengths.

Publishers know the price that customers will pay for a book.

Given a known print-run, and the known discount that must be given to get bookstore distribution at a known cover price, the only variable is page count. So to make a profit on a first-timer, publishers are looking for 100K words or less.

Generally.

There's always the Genius Exception (e.g. Susanna Clarke).

-------------------

Don't say anything, anywhere, that you don't want to hear Dan Rather read on the Six O'Clock News.

But, having said that, there's nothing wrong with showing that you're human. You'll be building up a bunch of people who will be looking for a book by their friend. They're watching its progress, rooting for you to finish it, and looking forward to buying it the minute it comes out. What's the harm in that?

--------------------

There are questions, and there are questions.

The point of a Whodunit isn't who done it. It's how will the detective figure it out. Thus the question that the author must answer the moment before the reader asks isn't "Who's the killer, anyway?" but "Why the foo is Poirot sending Captain Hastings to Cardiff?"

--------------------

Hello SRHowen,

what are these edits you are describing? Can you explain? Thanks!

Hi, pictopedia --

This thread is nearly 7,000 messages long. Can you give us a hint what post you're asking about?

--------------------

Hey, it could work. Just make sure the story is strong enough to support the book even if the guy was named Jack. Watch the climax. "And they all got on a boat" seems a little weak for 125K words.

Just be sure you haven't written Waterworld by accident.

-------------------

Jack and the Beanstalk?

--------------------

The single most important thing is this: Write your book. All else fades to nothingness beside it.

--------------------

Sure, make things up. (I mean, it's fiction, right?)

Just know why you're making things up. Use real names, use made-up names, just so long as they support the theme, advance the plot, or reveal character. You're the artist: Do what you want, but do it for a reason.

Don't confuse the readers, stay consistent, and you'll be fine.

--------------------

Insights/advice on working with a collaborator?

Lots of people work in lots of ways. Here's how Doyle and I do it:

I write the outline (what some people would call the first draft). Doyle rewrites it. I rewrite that. She rewrites the result. And so on until we're both happy with the result. (This eventually comes down to trading sheets of paper back and forth, writing on 'em with red pencil, until we're happy with that sheet of paper before moving on to the next, but that's late-game.)

I have final say on plot. She has final say on prose.

It's worked for us for over twenty years, so I guess it's good for us. Something else might work better for you.

==========

In other news, go watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (http://www.drhorrible.com/index.html).

---------------------

And consider who gets reprint rights, while you're at it.

---------------------

For me, writing that "sings" is just another way of saying "really good writing." The right words in the right order to tell the right story.

-----------------------

What do editors mean, exactly, when they say a book isn't "commercial enough" for them?

Do they know how to sell enough copies to cover production costs, plus make a bit of profit.

----------------------

Is there anything a writer should keep in mind when deciding which idea to pursue?

Write the book that you want to read.

------------------------

How interesting is the story to anyone who isn't related to you?

------------------------

Don't let the truth get in the way of telling a good story.

And ... "but it really happened that way!" is no excuse in fiction.

------------------------

The difference between fiction and non-fiction is that in fiction we're telling our own lies; in non-fiction we're telling someone else's.

Many of the same techniques that novelists use can be used to good effect in non-fiction.

As far as blogs or podcasts that every writer needs to read:

I don't know. If there's one out there that helps you get words on paper, that's a good one for you.

----------------------

Tired of listening to me natter on about writing? Here's a list of links (http://www.velcro-city.co.uk/the-writing-advice-links-they-are-legion/) to other people nattering on about writing.

As always, take the advice that seems good and works for you.

----------------------

Here's something bizarre: A video explaining how to submit your manuscript. (http://www.videojug.com/film/what-to-send-to-publishers-and-agents)

It's mostly pretty decent advice, but it has some oddities.

First, I wouldn't put on the copyright symbol and a copyright date. You aren't planning on registering copyright, are you? Is there some particular reason you want the publisher or agent to think you're an amateur?

Second, about putting on your agent's address when submitting your book to publishers: If you have an agent why in the world are you submitting the manuscript?

I'd also say:

a) check the publisher's or agency's guidelines. If those guidelines contradict the video (or anyone else's format/advice, even mine), follow the guidelines instead.

b) Make sure you have the editor's or agent's name spelled correctly, and that the person you're submitting your book to still works at that publisher or agency.

------------------------

Jim,

I was just reading about this topic in Miss Snark's archives (http://misssnark.blogspot.com/2005_07_31_archive.html). Would you agree that her request is pretty standard or more specific to what she would like to see?

It's pretty standard, but you will see variants: Miss Snark wants five pages of sample. Another person might want ten, or thirty, pages. Yet another might ask for three chapters. Someone else might ask for a synopsis and three chapters. Check the guidelines. If no guidelines ... Miss Snark's are good general guidelines. Or the ones in that video. Or the suggestions over at the SFWA.Org site.

But, since those are her guidelines, definitely follow them rather than the advice to send three chapters if you're submitting to her. She doesn't want to see three chapters; she wants to see five pages.

========

Those marks (# for a space, for example) are proofreaders' marks (http://www.merriam-webster.com/mw/table/proofrea.htm). You can find lists of 'em all over the place.

Yes, you indicate a blank line in your manuscript with a single hashmark centered in an otherwise-blank line. Yes, you indicate italics with a single underline. You indicate boldface with a wavy underline. You indicate small caps with a double underline.

The only way your manuscript will resemble the finished, printed novel is that they will both have the same words in the same order. Visually, they will be very different.

----------------------

"Rewrite" isn't a dirty word. It's a necessary step.

And this might be a book that's destined to be a trunk novel forever.

----------------------

So do you actually rewrite with a red pen & extra paper in a cafe & just do the 'word input' at the computer?

Yeah, I actually do.

I mentioned them in the acknowledgments for one of my novels, and my author photo for another book was taken there.

-----------------------

WOW, Thanks!! :)

What an awesome idea too!! :) /I bet you get lots of free coffee or so? :) Maybe they even help sell your books? ;)/

Nope, I pay for every cup. They're letting me take up a table -- I ought to pay them for it. (And their pastries are wonderful, too. Le Rendezvous, Main Street, Colebrook, NH. Closed Sundays and Mondays.)

They don't sell my books -- they're not a bookstore.

So I sticked to your advice for 2 days in a row & now have about 6.000 word short story (target was 5.000 but I haven't done any editing yet!) /Mind you, I haven't writtien anything much for a year, and no finished fiction for a few more years, so this is a *huge* accomplishment!! lol/ - Thank you so much for the tips on Page#1!! :)

Go, you! Now revise and rewrite until it shines.

Question is, do you print out & edit 'in format' /all, gasp, 29 pages of it??!!/ - i.e. Courier double spacing (that's how I do my writing!) or...? (save trees & mess up format?)
Am really thinking about this one, as it has stopped me from actually printing out & editing longer things before.. Any advice?

The reason you want to use standard manuscript format is because it leaves lots of room for making changes in pencil. Double space Courier 10 with one-inch margins. Really. Red pencil. And take along a pencil sharpener and an eraser.

Also, do you *ALWAYS* write at the same time of day & edit at another, precisely defined time of day, or.. (as it comes)?

Nope. Different times. But use what's good for you.

Andreya, who wants to learn to start *finishing* things this time... :)

Big thanks for it all so far!! :)

Nothing teaches you how to write better than actually writing. And the only way to learn to finish is ... finish.

------------------------

Thanks! I've already printed it out (& took it to the kitchen/bedroom/away from PC) & it *IS* much easier!!

Toldja so!

How many times do you go through a manuscript at a time? I've heard people talk of 7 to 18 edits (for a bigger thing), do they just print out a new batch every time, or use older printed out versions for several things at once... Like maybe go through 1st draft 3 times, or figure out ALL things (left vague/off in 1st draft), then enter new stuff & print that out & go over it...?

It varies. Mess with it until it seems good. Enter the changes. Then print it out again (if there were big changes) or continue with your paper copy until it gets too messy to use (if that works for you).

Sorry if this is such a silly question, I've been wondering about it... :)

There's no right answer. There's what's right for you, and you only find that out by trying various ways until you find one that clicks.

Also am at a loss at what to do next, lol. I was supposed to write nonfiction & ended up writing a short story, now I wanna write more chick-lit mystery short stories, but no idea where - or if - I could sell them! :) lol Want to finish a few short things first before I tackle the novel-in-the-trunk (in a bunch of binders & Word files actually). (Or start writing a new one...) 'baby steps'... :)

Take your story and, when it's totally the best you can make it, send it out (to paying markets only) until Hell won't have it. Never let it sleep over. If it comes back, put it in the mail that same day to the next place on your list.

Where to submit? Where do you read?

Or, go over to duotrope (http://www.duotrope.com/) and do a search for markets.

How do you published guys actually decide what you will be working on, & in what order? & how much time daily do you reserve for editing? If you write 2,500 words/2 hours a day, do you edit 2,500 words/2 hours a day too? /still trying to figure out a basic 'rhythm'!/

Again, no real answer. What works for you is what's best for you.

...Trying to read this thread from the beginning, but it's a lot of pages with good info to go through!! (A summary with links to 'chapters', or at least a pointer to stuff on editing/revising would be most helpful! :))
/getting distracted by the shiny freelance markets doesn't help! lol/

There is just such an index here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8754).

---------------------

It is with great joy that I report that my elder daughter has sold her first novel, a paranormal romance, to Tor (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=718056&postcount=3).

She submitted it unagented, and under a pseudonym (so no one would know it was her).

The book, Salt and Silver, by "Anna Katherine" will be coming out next year sometime.

--------------------

Page 276 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=276)
08-12-08

James D. Macdonald

12-11-2009, 01:46 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 277 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=277)
08-13-08

-----------------

So, has everyone written at least 250 words of original fiction today?

-----------------

X4
Ken

Go, you!

------------------

Right now e-books are a small but interesting part of the market. Where they go in the future we'll see ... but I don't expect paper books to vanish. They're a climax technology.

I don't think that "We'll cut out the publishers!" is going to go anywhere. There's far more to publication than printing, and if publishers aren't doing those tasks someone else is going to have to do them.

---------------------

So, this would be another of those first-time authors grabbed off the slushpile that never happens, right?

That's about the size of it.

Am I doomed to failure?

No, not doomed. But don't let your fiction muscles get flabby, either.

-------------------

Today I'm going to recco Editorial Anonymous' post on rejection letters (http://editorialanonymous.blogspot.com/2007/04/rules-of-receiving-rejection-letter.html). It has eight rules, but boils down to this: Unless the rejection letter contains specific, constructive, criticism it doesn't mean anything. I'm going to add a bit to that, to say that unless it also contains the word "resubmit" even that specific constructive criticism doesn't mean a heck of a lot.

But that's not what I'm going to talk about today. Today I'm going to comment on one of the comments to that post, put up by "anonymous" on 12 July 2008:

If they are not interested in seeing manuscripts, why are they editors or literary agents in the first place? And who said these people are any smarter than the writers?

If agents and editors were so talented they'd be in the same shoes as the authors.

Sick of the condescending attitude.

My very dear friend: They are interested in seeing manuscripts. That's why they're editors or agents; that's why they publish their names and addresses with the words "Send manuscripts to..." It's just that they've seen all of your manuscript that they care to, and want to see a different manuscript now.

No one said that they're any smarter than writers. What they're getting paid to do is find publishable books. Presumably they're doing it well enough so the publisher stays in business. They're talented, but not talented in the same way writers are.

Condescending attitude? Nope. No attitude. They certainly don't have an attitude about you. That rejection slip was preprinted, long before they'd heard your name. All that they've said is that this particular manuscript isn't one they want to buy/represent right now.

Move on to the next market, just like they've moved on to the next manuscript. It isn't personal.

-------------------

Welcome, FOTSGreg!

Would you be good enough to tell us what it was that kept you from posting, in case some other hapless lurker is in the same predicament?

I look forward to hearing of your future success!

Meanwhile, it's time to dip into Uncle Jim's Mailbag. Answering the questions that you never thought to ask!

Dear Uncle Jim:

I keep hearing the term "Big Name Author." I think it's supposed to be a good thing. Can you tell me what a Big Name Author is?

Signed,
Wondering in Fresno

Dear Wondering:

I'm glad you asked that question. As you know, the only stupid question is the one you don't ask. "Big Name Author" is the technical term for an author whose name, on his book jacket, is in larger type than the book's title.

For example:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51AOg%2B7SUEL._SL160_AA115_.jpg

Cordially,
Uncle Jim

Dear Uncle Jim:

Thank you for your answer! I have another question. What's the easiest way to become a Big Name Author?

Signed,
Still in Fresno and Still Wondering

Dear Still:

The only stupid question is one you don't ask, but that one sure came close. The easiest way to become a Big Name Author is to have a last name that's five letters or less long.

Cordially,
Uncle Jim

------------------------

Jim (Can I call you Jim?)

Sure.

Regardless, I'm working on it, but could you, Mr. MacDonald (I feel awkward calling you Jim just yet), please comment on emotional appeal and emotional characterization in fiction?

Okay.

Are your characters likable? Do they have things that they want?

And ... are there little bits of stage business that they can do to reveal what they're thinking and how they're feeling?

Definitely a place to show rather than tell.

Did the editor who shall not be named mention any favorite books where the characters had particular emotional appeal?

----------------

“The light reaction occurs in the grana of a plant cell,” McIntyre said.

Woo! Greg, that's a heck of an infodump (in As-you-know-Bob format).

I sure hope there's some reason the readers care passionately about photosynthesis by that point.

He felt the flare of anger in his stomach again.

That's telling, not showing.

-------------------

"Good dancers practice the things they are good at; great dancers practice the things they are bad at."

--Twyla Tharp

Greg, do you recall The Princess Bride? Do you recall Inigo Montoya? "Let me explain. No, there is too much; let me sum up."

The summary you gave in the last message is probably about the right length.

Unless we're expecting our readers to pass a quiz at the end of the chapter, it's still too much. Don't explain; show what happens. Particularly show what happens when things go wrong.

For the next half-hour Randy explained photosynthesis, the process by which green plants turn sunlight and water into sugar, while Jason alternately regretted his missed breakfast and contemplated strangling the older man.

"So it's theoretically possible to get hydrogen instead of oxygen as a byproduct when the water molecule breaks up?"

"Theoretically? No? I can't imagine a mechanism. Anyone who managed that would be first in line for a Nobel Prize."

"I'll get on the phone to Oslo later. Right now we have bigger problems."

But (since I haven't read the preceding 33,500 words) I could be completely wrong.

--------------------

Don't get me wrong: It's entirely necessary that you as the author be an expert. You have to know how things really work, and your characters have to know how they really work. If you aren't intimately familiar with the real deal, the readers will know that you're BSing them.

It's an iceberg. Nine tenths of your research never gets into the final draft.

Up above in this massive thread somewhere, I mentioned that for one of my books I'd learned enough about Gangland Chicago that I knew what brand of cigarettes Bugs Moran smoked. I never mentioned it in the text because it didn't move the story along. But when I could picture Bugs smoking Clown brand cigarettes, my descriptions of him, the way I imagined him acting, were (I think) surer, and (I think) the readers recognized that. (Oh -- and in case any of you were wondering, Al Capone's family called him "Snorky." That wasn't in the book either.)

----------------------

Oops, wrong city. That's only for the Peace Prize.

That's second-draft. When you're writing fast, you don't stop to check. (In first draft I might even type "I'll get on the phone to [city] later."

----------------------

My favorite is [Doyle writes this part].

-----------------------

Anyway, he got a rejection back from an agent saying that he couldn't "connect" with the main character in the first five pages. I tried to give him what advice I could, of course. But what are your suggestions for making a sympathetic character that readers can quickly attach to and feel concerned for?

The character doesn't need to be sympathetic, or even likable. What he/she has to be is interesting. The reader must care what happens next.

A person in a place with a problem. That's the basic opening. In its expanded form, its an interesting person in an interesting place with an interesting problem.

------------------

Rather than writing for markets, write the book that you want to write, then find a market that's suitable for it.

-------------------

Okay, how I'd go about creating a secondary world:

I'd take one thing in our world and change it. Say ... suppose Lord Franklin actually found the Northwest Passage in 1847.

What would that imply about the world's climate systems? Okay, make those changes to the world.

Now, how would those climate changes affect the British Empire? Got it.

Now, fast forward a bit. The British Empire (as modified), is entering WWII. What changes does the existence of a usable Northwest Passage imply?

Now find some character who is living in this world. Give him/her a problem.

Write that story.

See how easy it is?

-----------------

To be brutally honest:

It's true, nothing happens. We're told, but not shown, what healers do. Then we're told that most of what healers do is boring. This doesn't set up high expectations.

So: either start with showing us the wounds being wrapped, or start with the thud.

--------------------

But one point stuck out to me. I used the 'well worn cliche'; "like his pants were on fire".

Here's the question: Did you use it in dialog (where it would reveal character about the speaker), or did you use it in narrative (showing that you as the author would rather grab the most common phrase than hand-craft a new one for the reader's delight)? We read (among other reasons) to learn new ways of seeing the world. Make the story yours.

------------------

You outline, so, can you guesstimate the wordage of the finished ms, by the number of lines in the outline?

When I outline ... well. For a 50,000 word piece, my outline would probably be around 37,500 words. 150 pages.

----------------------

I doubt I come close to 40:60 split between outline:story...

What works for you is best.

----------------------

What I do with the outline is hand it to Doyle, and she writes a first draft based on it. Then we both edit and re-edit and re-write based on that draft.

----------------------

BTW, the thing about having a last name of five letters or less if you want to be a Big Name Author is a joke.

Witness James Patterson. It's just that the cover designer has to work a little harder, is all.

----------------------

First, an article for y'all to read: Agents' Chapter 1 Pet Peeves! (http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog/Agents+Chapter+1+Pet+Peeves.aspx) (from Guide to Literary Agents: Editor's blog) (Added: More Agents' Pet Peeves (http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog/MORE+Agent+Chapter+1+Pet+Peeves+And+Writing+Cliche s.aspx))

All kinds of great ways to get an agent to stop reading by the end of the first paragraph. For example:

"Anything cliché such as ‘It was a dark and stormy night’ will turn me off. I hate when a narrator or author addresses the reader (e.g., 'Gentle reader')."
- Jennie Dunham, Dunham Literary

Now the challenge: Write an opening including as many of those bugaboos as possible. Shoot for 250 words. 500 at most.

Have fun with it.

----------------------------

Now to reveal my didactic plan:

First: Y'see how easy writing 250 words is? Go thou and do likewise every day for a year and you'll have your novel.

Second: Take the opportunity to use the cheesy openings; get 'em out of your system.

Third: There are no rules. Only guidelines. The reason these openings are instant-rejection is because they're common. Nothing about using them suggests to the agent that there's going to be anything original on the second page, either.

Grrr, I hate it, when they (the great writers) can do whatever they want, and all others must follow rules.

The first, and only, rule is: If it works, it's right. (The next, only a little less-than-a-rule, is: Be interesting.)

Oh, from that other thread, my own tiny contribution to use-cliches-in-your-opening contest:

"Take me, you raging stud!" Angelina Jolie's lips brushed my earlobe.

The alarm clock rang, blending with the sound of rain on the roof. What a funny dream I'd been having! Just then I felt something stir around my feet. It was another terrorist, planting another bomb under my bed.

"Damn it," I hissed. "Isn't there some other bed you guys can bomb? Every day, same thing...."

"Sorry, Guv'nor," the terrorist said. "Gots me orders, I does."

Cockney Liberation Army. Again. I turned over and tried to get back into my dream, the one where Angelina Jolie just wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

I did screw up a bit. The opening turned out interesting.

If I went on and wrote this as a novel, when I reached "The End" I might go back and cut these few paragraphs. Or maybe not.

======

smsarber: Do you think you can find a 30,000 word subplot to stir into the mix?

----------------------

It is incredibly unfair that you can write that horrid opening and still make me want to read the book.

I'm a highly-trained stunt writer on a closed course. Don't try this at home, kids.

Or, actually, try it at home.

---------------------

Uncle Jim,

What's a monologue? I take it to mean that only one person is speaking. Without anybody commenting or continuing with the conversation. Am I on the right track?

That's what it is. "Mono-" means "one." Just one guy talking. A soliloquy.

On the Tonight Show, Johnny Carson's opening routine was a monologue.

See also, the discussion of "monologing" in the movie The Incredibles.

----------------------

Uncle Jim: I just got my WIP1 back from a professional editor. He is happy about the writing, the characters, the humour, but he says the plot needs a lot of work.

You might ask this editor for specific suggestions. Making specific suggestions is the editor's job.

May I ask the circumstances under which you found your editor, and why you felt hiring a professional editor was necessary?

He suggests I read *The Writer's Journey* by Chistopher Vogler (Pan). I've ordered the book from Amazon.

He suggested you read a book?

Do you have any other suggestions on how I can educate myself on plots, the inclusion of fear/tension and pacing, I suppose? I tried reading through this writing course, but after 200 posts, I thought "There must be an easier way."

I talk about plots pretty frequently in this thread. You might try the Index (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8754) (elsewhere in Novels), or you might try Googling (http://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Aabsolutewrite.com+%22Uncle+Jim%22+ plot).

The fastest suggestion I can make is to read a lot of novels, paying close attention to the plots. A plot is, essentially, "This happened, then that happened because...."

Read a lot; write a lot. All else follows.

--------------------------

Let's play with the sample paragraph (above):

The third concert of the subscription series was given last evening, and a large audience was in attendance. Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist, and the Boston Symphony Orchestra furnished the instrumental music. The former showed himself to be an artist of the first rank, while the latter proved itself fully deserving of its high reputation. The interest aroused by the series has been very gratifying to the Committee, and it is planned to give a similar series annually hereafter. The fourth concert will be given on Tuesday, May 10, when an equally attractive programme will be presented.

First thing I'm going to do is break up the sentences.

The third concert of the subscription series was given last evening. A large audience was in attendance. Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist. The Boston Symphony Orchestra furnished the instrumental music. The former showed himself to be an artist of the first rank. The latter proved itself fully deserving of its high reputation. The interest aroused by the series has been very gratifying to the Committee. It is planned to give a similar series annually hereafter. The fourth concert will be given on Tuesday, May 10. An equally attractive programme will be presented.

Now let's remove the passive constructions.

The Boston Symphony Orchestra gave the third concert of the subscription series last evening. A large audience was in attendance. Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist. The Boston Symphony Orchestra furnished the instrumental music. The former is an artist of the first rank. The latter proved itself fully deserving of its high reputation. The Committee has been very gratified by the interest the series aroused. The Committee plans to give a similar series annually hereafter. The Boston Symphony will give its fourth concert on Tuesday, May 10. An equally attractive programme will be presented.

Now to smooth things out and remove redundancies.

The Boston Symphony Orchestra gave the third concert of the subscription series to a large audience last evening. The orchestra again proved that it deserves its high reputation. Mr. Edward Appleton, an artist of the first rank, was the soloist. The Committee has been very gratified by the interest the series aroused. They plan to give a similar series annually hereafter. The Boston Symphony will present an equally attractive programme in its fourth concert on Tuesday, May 10.

The attentive reader will notice that there are three paragraphs contained in that one:

The Boston Symphony Orchestra gave the third concert of the subscription series to a large audience last evening. The orchestra again proved that it deserves its high reputation. Mr. Edward Appleton, an artist of the first rank, was the soloist.

The Committee has been very gratified by the interest the series is arousing. They plan to give a similar series each year from now on.

The Boston Symphony will present an equally attractive programme in its fourth concert on Tuesday, May 10.

-----------------------

"Did you go to the Boston Symphony last night?" Bill asked.

"Sure did, but I almost didn't get a seat. The place was packed." Fred spread a bit more mustard on his corned-beef sandwich, then sat at the lunch table. "How about that Edward Appleton guy?"

"Outstanding soloist," Bill replied. "Did you ever hear vibrato like that? The orchestra's got a reputation to uphold. I'm glad I bought tickets to the whole concert series."

Fred took a big bite of his sandwich, chewed and swallowed, before he asked, "When's the next concert? I think maybe Ruth would want to go."

Bill checked his pocket calendar. "Tuesday, the 10th of May. I might invite Augie."

"See you there." Fred paused, looked out the window across the parking lot. A red sedan was just pulling off the highway. "I read in the paper that the Committee is planning to keep the series going next year, too. But look, I'll see you later. I have to go." He stood and walked hurriedly from the cafeteria, leaving the sandwich behind on the table.

"Hey," Bill called at his retreating back, "If you aren't going to eat that...?"

------------------------

I don't think the hidden quote from the Beverly Hills Hillbillies theme song ... is going to fly unless you get permission.

Heck of a thing, working in commercial art, isn't it?

-------------------

I don't know him, but I assume that he would like that position. He'd probably call the paper and congratulate them on the article, and your boss would give you, as the reporter who wrote it, a raise. So you would go out and allow yourself a little celebration, and get one of those famous corned-beef sandwiches at that new place. But as you sit down, you would overhear a conversation that would make your reporter's ears stand up. You would pocket your sandwich and walk after the guy heading out to the red sedan. Something is strange about him. You cross the street......

And that, my friend, is how you plot a novel. You just follow your characters around. Put interesting people in interesting places, give them something interesting to do, and everything else follows.

The Symphony Orchestra nightly
Gives performances that are known, rightly,
As the best in the land.
Mr. Appleton's stand
Was polished, superb, also sprightly.

-------------------

So what is the preferred length for a first novel?

Depends on the genre, but generally 80-100K words.

-------------------

On average, when a publisher formats a general fiction novel, how many of our double-spaced manu-formatted pages make up a printed page?

As many as the book designer wants. There isn't an answer to that question.

----

But! Today, just for y'all, Secrets of the Pros, #573: How To Get a New York Times Best-Selling Plot for Just Fifty Cents!

1) Go to a used book store.
2) Go to the back where they have a box labeled "Any book in this bin, $0.50"
3) Look through the box until you find a book that has "New York Times Best Seller" on the cover.
4) Buy that book.
5) Use the plot.

Tomorrow: Secrets of the Pros, #574: How to Get an Award-winning Plot for Only a Quarter!

-----------------------

Hi Uncle Jim,
Could you break that down by genre, please? :)

I'm sure 50,000-55,000 quoted by smsarber is too short for anything but a children's or YA book. Am I right?

Yeah, 50K is YA territory. For genres -- go to a bookstore and start counting. Or look at specific publishers' guidelines. They'll tell you what they're looking for.

------------------

"Do not go to the elves for counsel, for they will say both 'yes' and 'no'."
-- The Lord of the Rings

If you ask two writers for their opinion, you'll get three answers. On the subject of query letters, within certain broad guidelines, there are no right answers.

Having said that -- let me say about the above example that "chased across campus" sounds mighty small-scale, and I'd like to know if Jason saves the world. This isn't a cover flap. You have to tell the ending.

--------------------

Secrets of the Pros, #259: Dealing with Rejection

1) Go outdoors.
2) Turn your face to the sky.
3) Shake your fist at the sky.
4) Say, in a loud tone of voice, "Laugh, ye mucker!"
5) Go back inside and slide your story into a new envelope with a new cover letter and a new SASE.
6) Mail it.

===========

Uh-oh. Unwritten second volume holds the climax? Let's a) write the second volume, and b) combine it with the first volume to make one book.

-------------------------

Here's the example of the Perfect Cover Letter that I used way back at the beginning of this thread:

I promised you The Perfect Cover Letter:

Salvatore Luchese
Cell Block B
2nd Tier, #34
Ft. Leavenworth Federal Prison
Ft. Leavenworth, KS 66027

(913) 123-4567

Dear [NAMEOFEDITORSPELLEDRIGHT],

Enclosed please find the first three chapters and an outline for my 120,000 word mystery novel, "Mafia Wedding."

My previous works include "Pushing Up Daises" (Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, June 2006, nominated for an Edgar, 2007), and "Sleeps with the Fishes," (Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, September, 2005, reprinted in Year's Best Mystery Stories, 2005, Graham, ed., March 2006).

I am currently serving seven-to-ten for racketeering in Ft. Leavenworth Federal Prison.

This is a disposable manuscript.

Sincerely,

Salvatore "Sally the Writer" Luchese

encl: SASE

=========================

Notes:

First NAME OF EDITOR SPELLED RIGHT. (If you can't do this, perhaps you need a new hobby.)

Second: Very briefly: length, genre, and title.

Third: Any pertinent credits. Only the most recent and most prestigious. A good sale ten years ago means that you haven't sold anything since. A bunch of 1/4 cent-a-word recently means that you aren't selling. Don't even bother mentioning self-published or e-publications unless you sold enough on your own to hit the Times Bestseller List. If all you have is one or two lower-tier mags, and they're recent, then you might list them. If you've got eight or ten lower-tier mags and they stretch back over three or four years ... better to leave the impression that you're unpublished rather than brand the Scarlet L of Loser on your forehead.

Fourth: Any special qualifications you may have for writing this book.

Fifth: Any other notes (disposable manuscript).

Your name.

INCLUDE AN SASE.

The primary purpose of a cover letter is to give the editor something with your name, address, and phone number on it that will fit in a file cabinet. The secondary purpose is to give the editor somewhere to put her coffee cup without putting a brown ring on your manuscript.

Be brief, be professional, and SPELL THE EDITOR'S NAME RIGHT.

--------------------

I went directly from one short-story sale to novels (but it was a good sale -- to a hardcover anthology from HarperCollins).

-------------------

Short stories and novels are very different (for all that they are similar).

What short story credits in your cover letter tells the editor is "This person is capable of writing on a professional level; some other editor paid cash for his/her prose."

That's why self-published works aren't helpful. They don't convey any information (unless the work sold something on the order of 5K-10K copies).

-------------------

With a query letter do you sign with your legal name or your psuedonym? If you sign with your legal name, where should you mention your psuedonym?

You sign with your legal name. (You want the checks to be made out to you, don't you?)

Where the pseudonym comes in, is in the byline:

TITLE
by
Pseudonym

Half-way down the first page.

(You can also use the pseud in the running head.)

------------------

Two story ideas have been bouncing around in my head and both are very appealing to me.

Pick one.

Write it until you run out of steam.

Switch to the other. Write it until you run out of steam.

Switch back to the first. Write until you run out of steam....

Continue until you reach "The End" on both of them. Revise them. Then send them out.

And work on a third book.

--------------------------

Robert A. Heinlien once (infamously most likely) is said to have said "Rewrite only to editorial request". I have difficulty with this as a) Heinlein is one of the acknowledged masters of science fiction, and b) my stuff right out of the first draft is very rough and definitely not ready for any editor to see.

Heinlein rewrote and revised his works extensively before submitting them. He did not submit first drafts, nor was he advising others to do so.

What he meant was this: Once you've rewritten and revised your story to the best shape you can, once you start sending it out (and don't for a minute even consider sending out anything but your most polished work), don't then rewrite it every time it comes back with a rejection note.

If some editor says, "If you make changes A, B, and C I'll buy it," you're allowed to make those changes. But if you get "Sorry, not for us," that isn't the time to do a rewrite. Because you've already polished the work as much as you can.

----------------------

Uncle Jim, you've been doing this a long time. Do you ever get the "I suck"s?

Oh, heavens to Betsy, yes.

I call it "Imposter syndrome." Any minute now my editors, readers, and everyone else is going to find out that I've just been faking it all along and I really can't write for sour beans.

=========

Meanwhile, on Microsoft Word questions, here's the answer: Delete Microsoft Word from your computer and install WordPerfect. This will make your writing better and faster, your teeth whiter, and get you a date with a hot person of your desired gender and preference.

---------------------

Okay.

To be a writer you must be a reader.

What's the last book you read?

When?

-----------------------

But I did survive my three year sober anniversary.

Go, you!

----------

Now, Calliopenjo, the dialog question:

Don't try to make dialog do too much, and don't attempt to make one scene do too much.

All of the things you mention (showing narrow world-view, etc.) should come out organically from many scenes, as you grow the character. "I need for it to happen in a short span of time." For heaven's sake, why?

------------------

...but kind of an outsider's voice. One telling you the story.

Nope. I get to see a movie, and I describe the movie as it unfolds.

----------------------

I'm doing a complete rewrite of it, and was wondering if there is a place I can find out a more accurate depiction of a New England-style dialect.

Captains Courageous by Rudyard Kipling. But you have to read it with a Brit accent to get the Yankee to come out right.

--------------------

The tech help board (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=81) here might give you an answer.

--------------------

Does a story ALWAYS have to have a happy ending?

No. A story needn't have a happy ending. What it must have is a satisfying ending. At once surprising and inevitable.

------------------------

The Sorrows of Young Werther (Goethe) ends with the protagonist committing suicide.

All Quiet on the Western Front (Remarque) ends with the first-person narrator getting killed.

------------------

Page 289 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=289)
10-15-08

James D. Macdonald

12-11-2009, 05:59 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 290 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=290)
10-17-08

------------------

I appreciate all opinions.

Remember:

"There are nine and sixty ways of constructing tribal lays,
"And every single one of them is right!"

------------------

Does it look strange, weird, out of place?

Damon Runyon's characters did not use contractions. It is a legitimate stylistic choice.

As to how well it may work, you will need to read it aloud.

-------------------

These last few are all variants on "Do what works for you."

-------------------

Uncle Jim, you work with your wife, do you guys ever just butt heads about parts of your stories?

We worked it out long ago: I get final say on the plot, she gets final say on the prose.

-------------------

Once again, it's time to play First Page!

Staff Nurse Jane Kelsey descended the wide, impressive staircase of the Mowberry Private Nursing Home slowly and thoughtfully. It was not the first occasion since she had come to work here that she had experienced serious doubts as to whether or not she should remain.

Could she not have been doing the same sort of work, and doing it equally well, in the confines of the Rawbridge General Infirmary where she had worked for the past four years, right until she gave in her notice and responded to Angela Power's appeals to join her and help her make the nursing home a real success?

There was certainly no possible doubt as to the success of the nursing home, Jane reflected. Every bed was fully booked for months ahead, with the exception of the four in the emergency side ward, all of them booked by people who could afford not to leave their names any length of time on the waiting list at the Infirmary. No doubt when any one of those on the waiting list could be classified as a genuine emergency a bed would be found at the Rawbridge General, but those who could afford it preferred to have their operations or indispositions over and done with, not to linger on until room could be fournd to deal with whatever ailed them.

That was the principal reason Jane had agreed to join in Angela's venture. The knowledge that for even a minority of people almost immediate help would then be available had been a great influence, even though she had known at the start the bulk of the money behind the venture had come from Henry Crabtree, a man she...

The novel is Nurse Kelsey Abroad by Marjorie Norrell. How about it, friends? Do you turn the page or put the book back on the rack?

--------------------------

Not for me. I'd put it back if I were ever tempted to pick it up.

Could you expound a bit?

(I do intend to do a line-by-line fairly soon on this excerpt....)

-----------------

Line by line through the first page of Nurse Kelsey Abroad:

Staff Nurse Jane Kelsey descended the wide, impressive staircase of the Mowberry Private Nursing Home slowly and thoughtfully.

Introduces our main character in the first four words of the first sentence of the first paragraph. The second part of the sentence introduces the setting, a private nursing home. The staircase rates two adjectives; Nurse Kelsey's descent rates two adverbs.

It was not the first occasion since she had come to work here that she had experienced serious doubts as to whether or not she should remain.

So ends paragraph one. We have a person in a place with a problem. Nurse Kelsey's problem is figuring out whether or not to stay in this opulent private facility. "It was" is a weak sentence opening. The first paragraph of a novel does not need weak constructions.

Could she not have been doing the same sort of work, and doing it equally well, in the confines of the Rawbridge General Infirmary where she had worked for the past four years, right until she gave in her notice and responded to Angela Power's appeals to join her and help her make the nursing home a real success?

The next paragraph, all 59 words of it, is a single sentence. And what a sentence it is! At first I thought that this book might perhaps be a later volume in a series and this was the recap of Our Story So Far. As it turns out, this is stand-alone novel, and this paragraph is quite unnecessary backstory. By the time the plot starts (four pages from now), we'll discover that we don't need to know any of this. By the time Chapter Two arrives (twenty-five pages on), it will all be forgotten.

There was certainly no possible doubt as to the success of the nursing home, Jane reflected.

A bit pf a breather as the first sentence of the next paragraph is considerably shorter, but it does not answer the question posed in the previous paragraph. "There was" is a weak sentence opening, and weaker paragraph opening, unless you want the readers to slide by without noticing or caring about what it might contain.

Every bed was fully booked for months ahead, with the exception of the four in the emergency side ward, all of them booked by people who could afford not to leave their names any length of time on the waiting list at the Infirmary.

We're expanding on the success of the Nursing Home.

The grammar is (in my opinion) needlessly complex. "...all of them booked by people who could afford not to leave their names any length of time..." indeed.

No doubt when any one of those on the waiting list could be classified as a genuine emergency a bed would be found at the Rawbridge General, but those who could afford it preferred to have their operations or indispositions over and done with, not to linger on until room could be found to deal with whatever ailed them.

"No doubt" is just empty syllables.

This book was written in, and set in, Britain at the end of the nineteen-sixties. Perhaps an appreciation of the intricacies of the NHS might help make this sentence less of a chore to get through.

So ends the third paragraph, as we fight our way out of a wholly-unnecessary infodump. The first page of the first chapter is no place to bog the reader down with backstory.

That was the principal reason Jane had agreed to join in Angela's venture.

What was the principal reason Jane had agreed to join in Angela's venture? She wanted to work at a place for rich gits who can't wait their turn to get non-urgent treatment? "That was," like "it was" and "there was," is a weak construction.

The knowledge that for even a minority of people almost immediate help would then be available had been a great influence, even though she had known at the start the bulk of the money behind the venture had come from Henry Crabtree, a man she...

The sentence finishes, on the next page: ...could not stand at any price, but the man, it seemed, Angela was about to marry.

Not to worry; this is the only time Henry Crabtree is mentioned in this book; he's not an important character. He's barely a character at all.

We've just experienced a head-snapping change, too, from the reader thinking about Jane's situation to Angela's situation.

I don't understand why it's even necessary to bring in Angela's social life, seeing as Angela will also drop out of the novel well before the chapter is finished, never to reappear.

The plot appears a few well-padded pages later, when Angela sends a junior nurse to summon Staff Nurse Jane Kelsey up to the administrator's office, there to send Jane to a position at a hospital attached to the British Embassy in the capital of Dalaslavia, a small Balkan country behind the Iron Curtain. Thus the question that Jane was pondering in the first paragraph is answered.

The first five pages of the novel could have been cut without anyone noticing. Whether Jane was working at Mowberry or Rawbridge is immaterial. For that matter, since Jane doesn't arrive in Daraslavia, nor does the main story begin, until the start of Chapter Two, the entirety of Chapter One could have been deleted without loss.

As written, the readers will be hauling Angela, and Henry, with them all the way to the end, waiting in vain for them to take some hand in the story and its resolution.

The prose is adequate, not graceful.

----------------------

What could we do to help poor Nurse Kelsey?

Well. Suppose that, early one morning at that hospital in Dalaslavia, a mysterious Englishman appears--with a bullet wound that he won't explain. This is the anonymous British spy, escaped from a Len Deighton novel. Soon the hospital is crawling with Dalaslavian Secret Police, and Staff Nurse Jane Kelsey is up to her perky starched white nurse cap in international intrigue.

Or, suppose that there's a sudden outbreak of anemia (and neck wounds) among the young ladies of Seonyata (the capital of Dalaslavia, where the hospital is located). Soon enough, Staff Nurse Jane Kelsey meets an elderly gentleman (who had been a nobleman before the Revolution) who only visits by night. He is charming ... and has very pronounced canines.

Before the end, Nurse Kelsey finds herself seeking a coffin in the depths of Castle Seonyata, stake clutched in one hand, cross in the other, in the last desperate attempt to end the unholy curse....

There are charming bits to this novel, to be sure. Young Kevin, the medical assistant, is described by one of Nurse Kelsey's companions as "gay," and all she means is that he's fun-loving and nonchalant. And the head of the Dalaslavian hospital, the fearsome Dr. James Lowth, is described by one of the nurses as "a woman-hater," without anyone wondering if, perhaps, he prefers boys.

Here's how the astounding tale ends (SPOILER ALERT!):

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

Last Page:

...shall bewilder you still more when I tell you I've loved you from the moment I first saw you at the Golden Fiddle, the lamplight shining on your wonderful hair, the blueness of your eyes and your general air of being out to conquer the future, no matter what it held...."

"What did you say?" Jane stood back a little and looked up at him, her eyes suddenly very bright, the anger gone.

"I said I've loved you from the moment I saw you," he repeated firmly. "I never knew how much, until you told me this morning that Karl Brotnovitch had asked you to marry him. I knew I couldn't allow that to happen, no matter what. But," he laughed suddenly, "I scarcely expected fate--and Kevin Dean--to play directly into my hands this way," he concluded.

Jane stood very still. It was all true, she was assuring herself of the fact over and over again. Jim Lowth loved her, he had obviously loved her for some time. He wanted her to marry him, not because of the good name of the hospital, not because he wanted an extra pair of hands always there, but because he loved her, and for that reason, she, Jane Kelsey, was important to him as he was to her.

Jim was speaking again, quietly, slowly, as one teaching a lesson to a small child.

"You haven't said you'll marry me yet," he reminded her. "Will you, Jane, my darling? Will you take me on as ... your next assignment?" he asked with a tenderness of which she had not believed him capable.

She thought of home, of all the comforts, the extra facilities for their work, of her parents and her family, and she knew in time they would share them all, just as they would continue to share whatever faced them in the time left to be spent in Dalaslavia.

"Of course I'll marry you, my darling," she whispered, "just as soon as everything can be arranged. I meant to do precisely that when I came out here...didn't you know?" But there was no need for him to answer as their lips met in a kiss which told each that they had accepted not only their next assignment, but an assignment for life, which suited them both very well!

----------------------

To be publishable the quality of your prose need be no better than workmanlike.

----------------------

Ms. Norrell wrote some thirty-odd Nurse Novels during the course of a twenty-year career. This one was near the end of that time ... and near the end of the Nurse Novel as a genre.

This afternoon I watched A History of Violence on DVD. It's a lovely example of the Three Act Structure as you're going to see. I recommend it to everyone.

Oh -- on a more personal note: I got a call from my editor today. The Trade Paperback edition of The Apocalypse Door is coming out in December, 2009, and could I please write a sequel? So I'll be doing that.

----------------

Including the Crossman/Lucifer scene?

Especially the Crossman/Lucifer scene.

-----------------

Or is the subject covered somewhere earlier in this thread?

We've been batting that question around for more than seven thousand posts.

------------------

Allen is correct.

Workman-like here is, at a minimum, Grammatical English with Standard Spelling. The sentences need to follow in order, one leading reasonably to the next. The paragraphs the same.

The reader should be able to tell whether the pages are in order or a random shuffle.

That's "workman-like."

----------------

Okay, American Education.

Many places you'll find Kindergarten. Usually a half-day, concentrating on Playing Well With Others, learning letters and numbers. For five-year-olds.

First Grade: 6 year olds.
And similarly for Grades Two through Eight (though you may see grades Six-Seven-Eight) referred to as "Middle School" or grades Seven/Eight referred to as "Junior High." These latter two are often in different buildings than the students in the earlier grades.

Those earlier grades can also be called "Elementary School" or "Grammar School."

Grades Nine/Ten/Eleven/Twelve are "High School," where the students are referred to as Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors. These grades are almost always in a different physical building from Grammar School and/or Middle School. Age range for High School is 14-18.

In their junior year, students who intend to go on to college will usually take standardized tests called either the SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test) or ACT (American College Testing).

Sometimes you'll see grades 3-5 (ages 8-10) referred to as "Middle Grades."

I hope that clears some of this up.

Remember that in America almost everything is run by local or state schoolboards, so standards ... vary.

"First God created idiots. That was for practice. Then He created schoolboards." -- Mark Twain

-------------------

The mechanical "reading level" formulas (e.g. Flesch-Kincaid) have always struck me as being somewhere between silly and meaningless.

==========

Posted elsewhere at AW (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2968465#post2968465), reprinted here:

You can do a deus ex machina when:

1) You've foreshadowed it sufficiently,
2) There's so much else going on that no one cares,
3) The conventions of your genre require one,
4) It works, and
5) You've run out of things to say and can't figure out any other way to end your book.

=========

Moving a bit off-topic here:

Instructions for Thanksgiving Dinner (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/008275.html) by my good friend, U.S. Marine, and fellow science fiction author, Elizabeth Moon.

------------------

The reading scores come from sentence length and number of syllables per word. Silly, like I said....

-----------------

Next entry in First Pages:

It was shortly after four, when Mabel, the blonde and buxom waitress on the afternoon shift in the Snack Bar across the street from the hospital, went out to sweep the parking space in front of the shop. She'd come on at three and the change from the late summer heat to the air-conditioned interior always made her arthritis painful, so she was glad of an excuse to get out in the warm September air for a few minutes before the five o'clock rush began. The shop, all glass, stainless steel, red-cushioned stools at the counter and booths against the wall, occupied one corner of the Faculty Apartments parking lot. Across the street, above the ambulance unloading ramp, blue neon lights spelled out EMERGENCY ENTRANCE.

Weston University Hospital occupied the entire opposite side of the long block across from the Snack Bar, a mass of buildings with connecting walkways, built of cinder blocks painted white and tall columns of steel-framed windows. On the lunchroom side of North Avenue one end of the block was taken up with the towering building that housed the Faculty Clinic, a privately operated medical group to which much of the medical school faculty belonged. Only about five years old, the clinic had already been enlarged several times and, during the daylight hours, a constant stream of people flowed through its marquee-covered portico at the far corner of the block.

Okay, folks: Do you turn the page?

---------------------

Page two:

The Faculty Apartments, owned by the university, occupied the entire end of the block, facing west on Weston Boulevard . Diagonally across the street from it, in front of the main entrance to the hospital, stood the housing facilities for married residents, interns and students, consisting of four apartment complexes with an enclosed playground. The main classroom buildings for the medical school were on the opposite corner of Weston Boulevard and North Avenue from married student housing, convenient to the hospital and all parts of the group of buildings that made up Weston University Medical School.

"Where'd you go on your day off yesterday, Mabel?" Abe Fescue, the short-order cook, lounged in the open door of the empty lunchroom, smoking a cigarette that was forbidden inside. A small transistor radio atop the counter, also forbidden when customers were inthe shop, filled the air with a rock-and-roll tune.

"On the Parkway," said Mabel. "I like to drive up there this time of the year."

Located in the foothills east of the Great Smoky Mountains, Weston was primarily a manufacturing city. It had become a major medical center when the medical school had opened some fifteen years earlier, quickly outstripping in importance and stature the small, older university of which it was a part. Rogue River curved around the city, with a dam some ten miles to the south forming a lake and a source of hydroelectric power that had made the town a natural location for a major textile operation.

"Fall's comin' early this year," Mabel added. "The leaves are already turnin' up towards the Knob."

"Won't bother me none," said Abe. "Come Thanksgiving, I'll be heading south for Miami."

"You short-order cooks are like birds, always flying north or south. I suppose you'll lose all your money at the tracks again this winter and come borrowin' from me next spring like always, so you can pay your rent the first month."

"This is going to be my best winter." Abe was a thin man of indeterminate age. His face was scarred by acne from childhood, and the inevitable tattoos, relic of Navy service, almost covered his upper arms. "Why'd you stay around here winters anyway, Mabel? You could make twice as much in tips working in South Florida and still get your old job back in the spring, when the weather turns warm again. Good ...

So ends page two. Do you turn the page?

------------------

An epilog is something that comes after the story. The climax has already happened. If the readers skips it, he or she already has had a novel experience.

Sometimes you see a "Where are they now" note about the characters. Sometimes something that lets the reader see the events in a new light. Sometimes a note from the author about the historical basis of the story -- HMS Ulysses was based on a real ship! -- or anything else that you like.

Or, it could be the lead-in to the next story.

---------------------

Line-by-line through a first page!

It was shortly after four, when Mabel, the blonde and buxom waitress on the afternoon shift in the Snack Bar across the street from the hospital, went out to sweep the parking space in front of the shop.

That's a horse-choker of a sentence, but it covers the essentials: A person, in a place, with a problem. We have a bit of description, though it is trite and cliched.

"It was" is a weak opening word-group.

We have two locations being set up: the Snack Bar, and the hospital.

We have action: Sweeping. Not much action, but it's there.

She'd come on at three and the change from the late summer heat to the air-conditioned interior always made her arthritis painful, so she was glad of an excuse to get out in the warm September air for a few minutes before the five o'clock rush began.

A second long sentence. Nailing down the time still farther. Mabel's problem seems to be arthritis, rather than a dirty parking space.

The shop, all glass, stainless steel, red-cushioned stools at the counter and booths against the wall, occupied one corner of the Faculty Apartments parking lot.

Not quite as long, but still a fairly long sentence. We have description of the Snack Bar. Yet another location mentioned: the Faculty Apartments.
This dilutes the Snack Bar description by showing us something outside.

Across the street, above the ambulance unloading ramp, blue neon lights spelled out EMERGENCY ENTRANCE.

We're finishing up the first paragraph with more place-description, and pointing us in yet another direction, this time over to the hospital again. This is the TV establishing shot.

Second paragraph:

Weston University Hospital occupied the entire opposite side of the long block across from the Snack Bar, a mass of buildings with connecting walkways, built of cinder blocks painted white and tall columns of steel-framed windows.

Another long sentence. Some confusion: Is the Snack Bar the important location, or is the important location the University Hospital? And what in the world is a tall column of steel-framed windows? We're infodumping.

On the lunchroom side of North Avenue one end of the block was taken up with the towering building that housed the Faculty Clinic, a privately operated medical group to which much of the medical school faculty belonged.

Wow. Another super-sentence, and another location mentioned.

Only about five years old, the clinic had already been enlarged several times and, during the daylight hours, a constant stream of people flowed through its marquee-covered portico at the far corner of the block.

A bit clumsy, passive, and again quite long.

Presumably that constant stream of people is flowing even now, since it's daylight.

So ends page one. So far the only action, and the only person, is poor arthritic Mabel, sweeping.

Let's move on to page two....

The Faculty Apartments, owned by the university, occupied the entire end of the block, facing west on Weston Boulevard.

The third paragraph starts with a shorter sentence, but we're being directed back to the Faculty Apartments ... and another street. So far we've had Weston Street and North Avenue. We've repeated the name "Weston" in Weston University Medical School. We've had the Faculty Clinic, the Faculty Apartments, and the just-plain-old faculty.

Diagonally across the street from it, in front of the main entrance to the hospital, stood the housing facilities for married residents, interns and students, consisting of four apartment complexes with an enclosed playground.

Not only do we have the faculty, we have facilities. While the author needs to know this, I don't see why the readers do, at least not at this moment.

The main classroom buildings for the medical school were on the opposite corner of Weston Boulevard and North Avenue from married student housing, convenient to the hospital and all parts of the group of buildings that made up Weston University Medical School.

What a great gray block of text this has been, to be sure!

"Where'd you go on your day off yesterday, Mabel?"

A change of sentence rhythm, and the first dialog.

Abe Fescue, the short-order cook, lounged in the open door of the empty lunchroom, smoking a cigarette that was forbidden inside.

We're back to Mabel, and we're introduced to a second character, Abe. We have a lot of information packed into this sentence. A dab of characterization comes with the lounging and the cigarette.

A small transistor radio atop the counter, also forbidden when customers were in the shop, filled the air with a rock-and-roll tune.

Minor acts of rebellion, when no one is watching?

"On the Parkway," said Mabel. "I like to drive up there this time of the year."

More dialog, and yet another place introduced.

Located in the foothills east of the Great Smoky Mountains, Weston was primarily a manufacturing city.

Weston University, and Weston Boulevard, are in the town of Weston.

It had become a major medical center when the medical school had opened some fifteen years earlier, quickly outstripping in importance and stature the small, older university of which it was a part.

An infodump.

Rogue River curved around the city, with a dam some ten miles to the south forming a lake and a source of hydroelectric power that had made the town a natural location for a major textile operation.

Infodump.

"Fall's comin' early this year," Mabel added. "The leaves are already turnin' up towards the Knob."

We're back to the weather. And we have yet another place name.

"Won't bother me none," said Abe. "Come Thanksgiving, I'll be heading south for Miami."

Dialog. Is the plot developing?

"You short-order cooks are like birds, always flying north or south. I suppose you'll lose all your money at the tracks again this winter and come borrowin' from me next spring like always, so you can pay your rent the first month."

Dialog with characterization. A bit of mild dialect. One wonders who cooks at the Snack Bar when Abe goes south. Do short-order cooks frequently quit their jobs, and just as readily get rehired by the same places they skipped out on?

"This is going to be my best winter."

Characterization in dialog.

Abe was a thin man of indeterminate age.

What's "indeterminate age"? It means "the author doesn't know." Lazy writing.

His face was scarred by acne from childhood, and the inevitable tattoos, relic of Navy service, almost covered his upper arms.

A bit of description. (FWIW, I had a fifteen-year Navy career but don't have any tattoos.) The nice bit here is that we're being shown, rather than told, that he's wearing short sleeves.

"Why'd you stay around here winters anyway, Mabel? You could make twice as much in tips working in South Florida and still get your old job back in the spring, when the weather turns warm again.

Can they really get their old jobs back that easily? And, given that we've just had a massive core-dump of local geography, will Florida be important to this story?

Good ...

The page ends here. For those who are wondering how the paragraph ends:

... waitresses are like short-order cooks; they can get a job anywhere."

Even if they have a history of quitting their jobs, forcing the proprietors to hire someone new? If you say so....

----------------------

So.

Those are the first two pages from Doctors' Wives (http://litmed.med.nyu.edu/Annotation?action=view&annid=12618) by Frank G. Slaughter. The sub-genre is Medical Thriller, filled with cutting-edge medical science and detailed descriptions of medical techniques. (Later on in the book, we have a page-and-a-half description of a doctor listening to a patient's chest with a stethoscope, following the sound vibrations from the bell all the way through the ear pieces, naming the three bones of the middle-ear (in English and Latin) then ending with the doctor using her years of training and experience to interpret the nerve impulses generated by the vibrations into a diagnosis.)

The Parkway and the Knob are never mentioned again. The playground (and, indeed, married student housing) play no part in the story that's to come. The next time Mabel appears in this book, 132 pages on, she'll again be described as "blonde and buxom" for the benefit of those readers who forgot.

Frank Slaughter published over thirty novels -- mostly medical thrillers. He himself was a physician before he turned to writing full time.

This book was published in hardcover by Doubleday in 1967. I'm working from the 1970 paperback reprint by Pocket ... sixth printing with the movie tie-in cover, for this book was indeed made into a major motion picture (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067004/) from Columbia, starring Richard Crenna, Gene Hackman, Carroll O'Connor, Rachel Roberts, and Janice Rule.

So.

What does this book have going for it? Why would you turn the page?

Here's the back-cover blurb:

How does a doctor's wife entertain herself while her husband is working?

DELLA played golf and turned to other women ...

AMY toyed with politics and drugs ...

MAGGIE turned to alcohol...

LORRIE passed the time with other women's husbands.

Wed to highly successful physicians, these women were bored, neglected, frustrated. This is their shocking story, a frightening look at the symptoms known as Doctors' Wives syndrome.

Here's the front sales line:

"Makes Mary McCarthy's Group look like a Victorian Sunday School Class."
And here's the front sales page:

"A prominent Weston physician has just shot and killed his wife."

The radio bulletin continued...

"A man, with the victim at the time and identified only as another doctor, was also seriously wounded."

Five doctors' wives heard the bulletin, and each one of them realized with despair and terror that the "other man" might be her husband.

Given that information ... now would you turn the page?

Indeed, this book features a sex scene roughly every twelve to fifteen pages (remarkably tasteful and restrained scenes by modern standards, but still, they're there).

We never do find out if Abe talks Mabel into going to Florida with him. Abe and Mabel are minor--very minor--characters, who appear as wandering viewpoints during the two or three scenes set in the Snack Bar. Aside from a couple of flashbacks, the action all takes place from a Wednesday afternoon through the following Sunday morning. The exact layout of the University Hospital, faculty apartments, and Faculty Clinic, aren't important at all. We'll get another full description of that dam and lake later on (when Dr. Pete Brennan, brilliant neurosurgeon, goes down there to whip around in his speedboat and contemplate divorcing his wife).

This novel is 330 pages of cardboard characters delivering as-you-know-Bob dialog interspersed with authorial infodumps. The main plot line is resolved by an entirely gratuitous and unforeshadowed plane crash. But! It has sex.

--------------------

The tattoos:

Abe is a short-order cook. All short-order cooks are Navy veterans. All Navy veterans have tattoos. Therefore, Abe has tattoos.

This book is very much an artifact of its time.

What the characters needed was for Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem to parachute into town.

What the novel needed was to take one of its minor characters, horn-dog medical student Mike Traynor, and make him the main character. Stay third-person close on him. Show the entire thing from his POV. He's the only active, interesting person with a clear goal in the whole novel.

-------------------

As long as I have you all here, this is the last page:

...Orleans as its destination. Police authorities who found the plane several hours ago reported that Dr. Dellman was carrying a large amount of money on his person.

"So that's that." Roy reached over and shut off the radio when the announcer turned to national news. "Abner Townsend won't be able to make anything out of the case now."

He looked across the table and grinned at Alice. "You look mighty pretty this morning, sweet. I think you're going to enjoy being the wife of the next state attorney general."

ii

Sunday mornings, Mabel always went to early Mass, then came by the Snack Bar for breakfast. The terms of her employment allowed her one free meal a day, in addition to the one she ate while on duty in the evening--usually on the run.

"Everybody at church was talking about Dr. Dellman getting off and then being killed in a plane," she said to Geraldine, the morning-shift cook, as they were enjoying coffee and cigarettes together in the almost deserted restaurant.

"In here, too." Geraldine wsa inclined to be phlegmatic.

"It's funny." Mabel looked across the almost deserted street to the emergency entrance of the hospital. "To look over there now, you'd hardly believe all hell could break loose before you coudl say boo--like it did last Wednesday afternoon."

"That was something," Geraldine agreed.

"I guess Dr. Dellman getting killed sort of wraps the whole thing up. From what I've been hearing across this counter the past few days, a lot of people have had their lives changed since last Wednesday. It was pretty exciting while it lasted, though."

"Yeah," said Geraldine. "I guess it was."

"It's sorta like the passage the priest read from the Bible this morning. I think I still remember it:

A generation goes, a generation comes, yet the earth stands firm forever. The sun rises, the sun sets; and then to its place it speeds and there it rises...

"That reminds me," Mabel sighed. "Monday morning you'd better tell the assistant manager to take that other waffle iron and have it fixed. The upper-class medical students will be coming back to school next week. They sure do like our waffles."

---------------------

You can indeed start and end your novel with minor characters. What you shouldn't do is bring them in, then forget all about them for 130 pages (in the case of Mabel) or 150 pages (in the case of Abe).

They should also fulfill other purposes. They should have a sub-plot that comments on the main action, or be the only ones positioned to see the crucial action.

Frank Slaughter had that magical thing that so many wish they had: His books were crap but he sold a ton of copies. He had fans. There were people who waited eagerly for the next Frank Slaughter book to come out.

He also kept things moving right the way through with minor suspense: Will Amy OD on morphine, or is she going to wake up okay in the morning? Will Della go to the golf tournament or stay home and give Paul the baby he wants? Will horn-dog medical student Mike get the clap and pass it on to the entire faculty of the medical school? Will divorced and wary-of-men nurse Janice marry brilliant anesthesiologist Jeff? Will frigid Dr. Feldman find what it is to be a woman in the arms of East German refugee Dr. Dieter? Turn the page and find out!

What I wanted to know is what would have happened at Weston University Hospital if Nurse Kelsey (with her starched white nurse hat firmly pinned in place) had gone there instead of to Dalasalavia for her year abroad.

---------------------

Would he get published today?
He's certainly competent. If Frank Slaughter were a writer today, he'd undoubtedly know today's conventions and styles.

Would this exact manuscript be published today?
Depends. Was it the best manuscript to hit the editor's desk that day? You'll notice that, while the rights are undoubtedly available, this book isn't currently in print.

------------------

I think that the story starts on page twelve, when Elaine McGill (wife of prominent dermatologist Paul McGill) is boinking horn-dog medical student Mike Traynor in a tourist cabin.

("Don't worry," she says. "My husband plays golf every Wednesday afternoon.")

She desperately wants a baby for her husband, and is willing to go to any lengths to get one. Any lengths. She can't go to the clinic to get artificially inseminated, though, because then her husband would find out and would know it wasn't really his. She picked Mike because, as a student, she can tell him that if he breathes a word he'll get flunked, and because he looks like her DH.

He does her. Then, he notices that she didn't have an orgasm, so he does her again, and this time she does (leaving her feeling Very Guilty). She's also convinced that this time it took and she's now all pregnant and everything.

Mike heads out trying to make it back to the hospital before his shift in the ED starts, and at that moment the news comes on the radio that Lorrie's been plugged by her hubby. "Holy Crom!" Mike says, or words to that effect, "If he'd come home early a week ago that woulda been me!"

Thus ... Mike as main character. And, thus a good starting place.

-----------------

It does seem a tad unlikely just for F-buddies though.

That might go a long way to explaining why Mike Traynor, horn-dog medical student, managed to do all the doctors' wives, half the nurses, and a visiting grad student from Vassar....

Not that any of the doctors themselves had room to complain: Here's part of the scene where Paul (whipping around on his speedboat down on that lake created by the hydro-electric dam (and after the dam, the lake, and the rest of the local geography, got fully described again)) contemplates divorcing his wife, Amy.

The trouble wasn't sex, he was sure; actually that had almost disappeared from their relationship these past eight to twelve months while Amy had been engaged in her relentless campaign to become state president of the auxiliary. Sex was always in plentiful supply around a hospital, the major part of whose personnel was composed of women, and he'd had no trouble finding all the release he needed there.

Apparently the hospital was a nookie buffet and the doctors were going back for thirds.

But there was still no plot-related reason to describe the exact layout of the buildings. You know how I keep saying that every word has to advance the plot, support the theme, or reveal character? Well, if Mr. Slaughter had followed that advice this book would have been Lots Better.

--------------

Well, folks. Many of y'all decided not to turn the page for that last novel.

Here's a different book:

The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.

From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on which he was lying, smoking, as was his custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured blossoms of a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to bear the burden of a beauty so flamelike as theirs; and now and then the fantastic shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge window, producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect, and making him think of those pallid, jade-faced painters of Tokio who, through the medium of an art that is necessarily immobile, seek to convey the sense of swiftness and motion. The sullen murmur of the bees shouldering their way through the long unmown grass, or circling with monotonous insistence round the dusty gilt horns of the straggling woodbine, seemed to make the stillness more oppressive. The dim roar of London was like the bourdon note of a distant organ.

The question is, as always, do you turn the page?

--------------------

As many have recognized, that's the first page of chapter one of The Picture of Dorian Gray (http://www.bibliomania.com/0/0/57/103/frameset.html), by Oscar Wilde.

===========

Since it's the preface, everyone skips it, but here's the preface to that work:

The artist is the creator of beautiful things.

To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's aim.

The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.

The highest as the lowest form of criticism is a mode of autobiography.

Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming.

This is a fault.

Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.

They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only beauty.

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written.

That is all.

The nineteenth century dislike of realism is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a glass.

The nineteenth century dislike of romanticism is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in a glass.

The moral life of man forms part of the subject-matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists in the perfect use of an imperfect medium. No artist desires to prove anything. Even things that are true cannot be proved.

No artist has ethical sympathies.

An ethical sympathy in an artist is an unpardonable mannerism of style. No artist is ever morbid. The artist can express everything.

Thought and language are to the artist instruments of an art.

Vice and virtue are to the artist materials for an art.

From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is the art of the musician.

From the point of view of feeling, the actor's craft is the type.

All art is at once surface and symbol.

Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril.

Those who read the symbol do so at their peril.

It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.

Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital.

When critics disagree, the artist is in accord with himself.

We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.

Then comes the epigram:

All art is quite useless.

-------------------

The Picture of Dorian Gray is the type-specimen of the literary novel. The interior lives of the characters are more important than the external events. The interior life of the protagonist is even made an external symbol, the "Picture" of the title.

I chose it because, like Doctors' Wives, it opens with long descriptive paragraphs. Unlike Doctors' Wives, however, it has been continuously in print for nearly a hundred and twenty years.

Most "literary novels" also fall into genres. (Cormac McCarthy's The Road, for example, is post-apocalyptic science fiction.) Wilde's novel falls into the sub-genre Gothic Romance.

We'll do a line-by-line on that first page in a bit.

-------------------

I disagree on many points (though not all), though I'm aware that if that's the prologue to the book, he may be writing the viewpoint of one of the characters and not himself.

I believe that Wilde was making his confession of faith in that prologue, and that he then attempted to prove each of those points in the novel. (This may be an example of Samuel Goldwyn's "If you want to send a message call Western Union.") Nevertheless, Wilde not only talked the talk, he walked the walk; at the end he wound up suffering terribly for his art.

And, the book is still being printed and read, and quoted ("The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about" is from this novel, for example). And everyone knows the plot, and Dorian Gray (either the book as a whole or Dorian as a character) has appeared in movies, comic books, and other novels.

Whatever Wilde was doing, he was doing something right. Our job is to figure out what.

----------------

Man. I'd never wanted to read that book before...and I'm not too thrilled to want to now, either.

It's public domain now, and available free on-line. Go for it.

--------------------

Line-by-line:

The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.

Paragraph one is a single sentence. Forty-five passive words. It gives a place, "the studio" (apparently in or near a garden) and a time "summer."

Sight and smell are heavily invoked (odour, scent, perfume). Colors are heavily invoked (rose, lilac, pink). The only active verb is the stirring done by that light wind.

From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on which he was lying, smoking, as was his custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured blossoms of a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to bear the burden of a beauty so flamelike as theirs; and now and then the fantastic shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge window, producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect, and making him think of those pallid, jade-faced painters of Tokio who, through the medium of an art that is necessarily immobile, seek to convey the sense of swiftness and motion.

Woo! Super-sentence! One hundred and nineteen words. Let's see if we can break this down a bit. Separating the sentence out, clause-by-clause, we find:

From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on which he was lying,

smoking,

as was his custom,

innumerable cigarettes,

Lord Henry Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured blossoms of a laburnum,

whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to bear the burden of a beauty so flamelike as theirs;

First half of the sentence is now complete--we've introduced a person into the place. We have an idea of his social station, Lord, and something of his character. He is an aesthete.

We're back to the smells and the colors.

and now and then the fantastic shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge window,

producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect,

and making him think of those pallid,

jade-faced painters of Tokio who,

through the medium of an art that is necessarily immobile,

seek to convey the sense of swiftness and motion.

And we've introduced the theme of painting, and rendering the impression of motion in a fixed medium. (Incidentally, Tokio is a perfectly valid, if rare, alternate spelling of Tokyo.) We're heavily into colors still (pallid, jade).

In contrast to the first paragraph, and the first half of this sentence, we have speed (and transitory) action: flitted, momentary, swiftness, motion.

The sullen murmur of the bees shouldering their way through the long unmown grass, or circling with monotonous insistence round the dusty gilt horns of the straggling woodbine, seemed to make the stillness more oppressive.

Sound is introduced in the second sentence, while passivity and neglect is emphasized. The bees murmur (sullenly). They "shoulder their way." They're monotonous. The grass is unmown. The woodbine (the flower theme again) is both dusty and straggling. The stillness is oppressive. One might suspect an impending thunderstorm.

The overall impression is of lassitude and boredom. This may be intended to revealing the character of Lord Henry Wotton.

The dim roar of London was like the bourdon note of a distant organ.

A simple sentence, at last! Nailing down the location, as we hear the sounds of a major city, though it is "distant." The bourdon is a bass drone note.

So far we've got a person in a place with a problem: Lord Henry Wotton, in a studio, is bored.

--------------------

May I comment here that portraying boredom or monotony in our novels is always dangerous? We run the risk of boring our readers.

To do this on the first page bespeaks either ... well, I wouldn't try it here in the first decade of the twenty-first century.

------------------

One more note, since the Flesch-Kincaid grade level scores have been mentioned.

All three of the last first-page examples (The Picture of Dorian Gray, Doctors' Wives, Nurse Kelsey Abroad) have the same reading level: Grade 16 (senior year of college).

------------------

Is it proper to do that, or might it be a tad confusing?

Sure, it's proper. Have you ever read a Russian novel?

What do your beta readers say?

-----------------

Is it proper to do that, or might it be a tad confusing?

Sure, it's proper. Have you ever read a Russian novel?

What do your beta readers say?

-------------------

Uncle Jim, may I direct your attention to this article (http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/03/major-reorganization-at-random-house/?ref=media), not just for the back and forth about divisions being dropped, but for the comment section as well?

Oh, dear. The comment section. I got about four comments into it. What a bunch of maroons.

Apparently, low salaries and celebrities who get big advances are to blame for publishing's troubles (along with TV and texting), not mention their unwillingness to "take a chance on new writers who come up with fresh and original material."

Those complaints have been around for years. Decades.

Listen, O my children: Finding publishable works is painstaking hand-work by people who are, themselves, artists. That is why acquisitions won't be automated. That is why it is slow and has a high random-factor. And that is why upper management that says "Why don't you only buy best sellers?" doesn't get it.

Publishing is counterintuitive.

------------------

In Russian novels, everyone has several names, and which name is used by whom is determined by the exact relationship between the two characters.

May I recommend The Karamazov Brothers?

-------------------

"Decide how you are going to refer to a character and stick with it for at least the length of the scene."

Yes but...

That's how the author refers to the character. The other characters may use several names for the same character in the same scene.

Michael Traynor, horn-dog med student, entered the classroom a solid twenty minutes late.

"How good of you to join us, Mr. Traynor," Professor Noarth said, as Michael made his way to his seat.

"Yo, Mike," Steve whispered. "You totally missed a pop quiz."

"It was worth it," Michael whispered back. "Mrs. Perth and her daughter, at the same time!"

"Some people have all the luck," said Arthur, from his seat to Steve's left. "If Long Schlong manages to graduate they're going to give him an honorary degree in gynecology."

You remember when I recommended The Karamazov Brothers?

One of the brothers is Alexi Fyodorovich Karamazov, but the other characters refer to him (depending on the situation and their relationship to him) variously as Alexi, Alyosha, Alyoshka, Alyoshenka, Alyoshechka, Alexeichik, Lyosha, and Lyoshenka.

-------------------

Page 300 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=300)
12-04-08

James D. Macdonald

12-13-2009, 08:42 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 301 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=301)
12-04-08

---------------------

And that is one of the things that makes Russian novels so very hard to read.

Did you hear about the Russian novelist who killed himself by leaping from atop his suicide note?

------------------

Flash forwards?

Tricky if you don't have an old Gypsy fortune teller doing 'em, and you aren't in a time-travel plot.

But, outside of those, you can find a good one in The Outback Stars (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0765316439/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by my friend Sandra McDonald (no relation). (Buy one, buy a dozen, they make excellent gifts.)

------------------

It's Saint Nicholas Day!

So, in honor of the holy saint, and because it's that time of year, it's time for this year's Christmas Challenge!

Okay. Go to a used-book store. (This is fun all in itself.) Go to the box where they keep the Really Cheap books. Look through it until you find a book that's labeled as having been a Best Seller or major Award Winner. (Not "by the best-selling author" or "by the award-winning author" -- the book itself has to have won the award or sold the copies.) This should be a book you've never read; preferably one you've never heard of.

Buy it. Try not to pay over fifty cents.

Read the book. Outline it. Chapter by chapter. Keep a list of the characters with a brief description of what each does in the book.

Go, my friends. Finish the outline and character list by Christmas Day.

--------------------

I picked up King's The Stand in a used-book shop in Montevideo, Uruguay.

-----------------------

HP Lovecraft was building on earlier work by Ambrose Bierce and Robert W. Chambers.

Lovecraft created the Necronomicon, as part of the Cthulhu mythos, but he allowed his friends to play in his universe. More than that, Lovecraft worked as a copyeditor for pulp magazines during the 'twenties, and he would insert Cthulhu material into stories by other people (without their permission--such was the happy, carefree life of the freelance writer back in those days). The mythos has since taken over an entire sub-branch of horror (I've used it myself--Land of Mist and Snow and "Philologos (http://www.johnjosephadams.com/?p=1405)"). Various books purporting to be the Necronomicon have been published.

The Necronomicon first appeared in 1922, (and Lovecraft himself died 70 years ago in 1938) putting it well into the public domain.

You can use it, but if you do you should be aware that your readers will expect that your book is part of the Cthulhu mythos and will have certain other expectations as well. (Including, but not limited to, Arkham Asylum (yes, the current incarnation of Batman is located in the Cthulhu mythos), Miskatonic University, and the seafood festival at Innsmouth.) If you are going to use the Necronomicon, know what it is supposed to be, and use it in a manner that is not inconsistent with others. This will keep your readers from throwing your book across the room.

(At one point in my life I owned a "It's The Great Old Ones, Charlie Brown!" tee shirt.)

(In "Philologos," which was written as my entry in one of this thread's Christmas Challenges (and subsequently published by F&SF, thanks very much), our hero, William R. Sharps (the "R" stands for Romeo, but he doesn't ever tell anyone that) winds up in Castle Dracula (which is never called by name in the story ... but long-time readers of fantastic literature will instantly recognize it), but nothing there fazes him -- for he went through Finals Week eight times at Miskatonic U, after which facing the undead and unholy religions is ... well, those unholy undead didn't know what hit 'em.)

-------------------

3 for $1, but they were dog-eared and in really poor shape, and nothing even remotely award-winning.)

That's the right price range, and dog-eared and in poor shape doesn't matter. No best-sellers either?

----------------------

Tonight, in the continuing adventures of William Craig, Whale Shaver, Bill travels to the Arctic Ocean to shave the elusive Minsk Whale. Don't miss this exciting episode!

---------------------

Are we supposed to read it in its entirety first and then go back to outline? Or do we outline and track the characters as we go?

Your choice. Whatever works for you.

----------------------

William Craig had just arrived at his office and was looking over the envelopes from the previous day's mail delivery that Susan had handed him when he heard the phone ring in his inner office. His private, unlisted, line. He pushed open the mahogany door and dumped the letters into his IN box as he picked up the receiver.

"Bill here. How can I make your day brighter?"

"You can refuse the Oberdorff contract."

"Who is this?" Bill asked. He'd never heard of Oberdorff.

"A friend. An interested friend. Make it easy on yourself, Bill. Just don't sign the contract."

Bill reached out and pressed the button on the phone that started an immediate lock-and-trace on the call. "Suppose I do refuse the contract," he said, trying to keep the caller on the line long enough for the phone trap to do its work. "What's in it for me?"

"Maybe you stay in business," the voice said. Male. Trace of a Kentucky or Tennessee twang to the vowels, but the speaker had been living somewhere else long enough for a hint of mid-Atlantic seaboard to creep into the consonants.

"Not good enough," Bill said. "Make it worth my time."

The caller wasn't having any of it. "Remember what I said." The line went dead.

Susan walked in from the outer office a moment later, holding a sheet of paper. "Looks like it came from a phonebooth in Topeka," she said.

Bill took the paper and squinted at it. "Bet you anything it was spoofed. Could have come from anywhere. Next block over, or Moscow. No way to tell."

"You're probably right, boss," Susan agreed. "Coffee's made. Want some?"

Bill nodded, turning to his IN basket. One by one he slit open the envelopes, pulling out their contents and giving each a quick scan. Interview requests. Invoices for Old Spice. A kid's request for an autograph for a school assignment to write to 'the person you admire most.' Next to last in the stack was a letter from Oberdorff Associates with a contract inside, not yet signed. A contract to shave the Great Minsk Whale.

Susan walked in, a mug of coffee in her hand. Bill looked up. "Pack your parka," he said. "We're heading to the Arctic.

Page one of _This Razor For Hire_. The question is, as always... would you turn the page?

-----------------

And that is unedited first draft, written as fast as I can type, as fast as I write any other post here. I had no idea when I started what would be happening at the bottom of the page. Building character as I go. That's why Bill notices the accents -- because at that moment I felt that he was the kind of guy who would notice accents. And why he had a trace button on his phone ... at that moment I thought of it (had no idea, even, when the phone rang what the caller would say).

I don't know who the caller is, or who Oberdorff Associates are, nor am I entirely sure what the Great Minsk Whale might be, or why anyone wants to shave it, or have it shaved.

The mug that Susan brought has "World's Greatest Whale Shaver" on it. It's a blue mug with white lettering. Susan herself is wearing a blue sweater, which goes well with her red hair. The door to that inner office has a frosted-glass window in it, with William Craig, Whale Shaver in black sans-serif lettering on it. The IN basket is to the right as you face the desk, the phone is to the left. The phone is black, with a row of five buttons on the bottom, under the dial (it's a dial phone, not touch-tone).

I could see all this as I was typing. There's tons more that I could see. I'm a very visual writer. All I'm doing is transcribing the movie in my head.

I think Susan is more of an associate than a secretary. I don't know if she's wearing a skirt or pants because I haven't looked yet.

This feels like a novel-length idea.

-------------------

Oh -- the coffee is no sugar, two creams. Susan knows that's how he likes it.

Bill is slender, has light, short hair, and looks like he's in his late thirties. He's dressed in business casual, with tan trousers and Docker shoes. I won't mention them unless they're important to the plot.

-------------------

What would you suggest to get me out of this predicament?

You're in the dread Mid Book.

The first 20K is easy. The last 20K is joy. It's the middle 40K that's like swimming through quicksand.

Remind yourself that those distant mountains are getting closer with every step, though you cannot see it now.

Also, I do have an idea where this book is heading ... a scene with Bill beside a bearded rabbi, in a palace filled with Fabergé eggs, ready to help the rabbi out of a pure-white marble window onto the dangling ladder from a Zeppelin hovering overhead.

I may never get to that scene. Probably won't, in fact. But it's an aiming point while I'm learning what the book is really about and what its true ending is supposed to be.

-----------------

Do you ever write anything just for the heck of it, with no thought about getting published? I don't mean posts, I mean longer pieces like whole short stories or books?

Whole stories or books? No. Scenes? All the darned time. I mean, you just saw me do it.

You should write without thought of getting published, because if you're having fun the reader can tell. Likewise, if you're bored, the reader can tell that too.

And do you "practice," as a musician might practice, trying various forms of writing that may never be seen in public?

Totally. Especially formal poetry (sonnets and sestinas, for example).

(Beware. The villanelle is the most restrictive of all sandwich forms. (http://catandgirl.com/?p=728))

---------------------

Until you send off the finished work to an editor any page may turn out to have been "just for practice."

And until the editor sends back a check any book or story may turn out to have been "just for practice."

------------------

My beloved elder daughter's first novel is now available for pre-order.

Please note that the cover art and blurb are up five months before the book will hit the shelves. And it will assuredly hit the shelves, not to mention wire-rack spinners in bus stations everywhere. (This is why you want to go with a commercial publisher.)

Salt and Silver (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0765363046/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/) by Anna Katherine. Order your Arbor Day presents early!

Allie can’t seem to get it together. Ever since her mom ran away to Rio with Rio—her tennis instructor—stealing Allie’s trust fund and her comfortable way of life, Allie has been floundering. She works in Sally’s Diner, and lives above it. And one night in the basement, she and her friends chant a ridiculous spell—for money, for luck, for love…and open a Doorway to Hell.

Ryan thinks he’s got it all figured out. When the Door opened he appeared out of nowhere, a Stetson-wearing demon hunter dressed in leather. He’s assigned to the Door, and hangs out at the diner, and when the Door disappears he is certain that Allie had something to do with it.

But something strange is happening in Brooklyn. Something bigger than Allie, and Ryan, and the Door in the diner basement. And when a meeting of demon hunters gives birth to a dangerous idea, Allie and Ryan are left to wonder if the fragile feelings growing between them can survive a trip to Hell…or if they themselves will survive at all.

--------------------

You gave a "trick" : start a story arch, and before reaching the climax, start a second story arch, and then substitute the second climax for the first. (I think I paraphrased that correctly.)

The classic example is "The Miller's Tale (http://www.luminarium.org/medlit/miller.htm)" from The Canterbury Tales.

We start with Nicholas' desire to lay the carpenter's wife. This story arc ends before he manages to do the deed. We move to the second story arc, where Nicholas convinces the carpenter that Noah's flood is going to return. We return to the first story arc, as Nicholas beds the carpenter's wife. But before we get to the climax (so to speak) of that action, we instead get the climax to the Noah's Flood story as Nicholas yells "Water!"

---------------------

The rule is: Don't confuse the reader.

For names: In outlines I often use place-holders (Buddy, Deadmeat, Perky) because Doyle is going to change them all anyway.

-------------------

Hi Uncle Jim,

I was wondering if you knew if Merlin had a wife. I saw that he was a "bastard" child and may have disappeared before King Arthur's birth. But I haven't found anything that tells me if he was married. Do you know?

:e2writer:

No, Merlin wasn't married, but he did have an unfortunate relationship with Vivian (or Ninianne, or Niniane, or Nenyve, or Nimua, or Nimue, or Ninevah).

--------------------------

Just because she's published doesn't mean she's perfect....

Many years ago, when I did reviews in an apazine, I used to end each review with "...but (s)he's a better writer than I am; (s)he's published."

Seriously, no biggie. You don't have to be published to have an opinion about a piece of published fiction. Thousands and thousands of people who aren't published, never will be, and don't want to be, have opinions about published works. Every single day.

They're called "readers." They're our masters.

Now, since she's a best-selling author, it might be instructive to go back and read the book again, this time looking for what it is about her books that attracts readers. What is she doing right?

It might be more instructive to read that author's first published work.

----------------------

Hi Uncle Jim,

Happy Holidays! I was wondering. If the MC wakes up and notices white bed linens that the MC was sleeping on, is that the same thing as waking up in a white room?

Why are they white?

If the fact they're white doesn't reveal character, support the theme, or advance the plot -- don't tell us they're white. Let the reader imagine pale-blue (since if the readers do so, it'll be because pale-blue is important to them).

----------------------

Is the coffee cup half-empty or half-full?

(Neither; the cup is poorly designed for the available volume of coffee.)

-----------------

If you were at the bookstore and saw the title: Lorelei's Second Chance. What would you think?

It would depend on the cover art, of course, but I'd think "Romance."

--------------------

The little girl stood shivering. "Please mister, buy a chance?"

Fred paused. "What's it for?"

"I gotta sell them. By midnight. All of them."

"I mean, what's it a chance on?" The neon light in the bar's window buzzed and flashed on and off.

"Only a buck, mister. Only a buck."

A dollar wasn't much. "How many do you have to sell, sweetie?"

"My name's Lorelei. Not 'sweetie.' Lorelei. I gotta sell two. Just two chances. I sold one already. Now I gotta sell the other one." She looked down. "I gotta sell it by midnight."

----------------------

I wasn't able to explain either to the original poster or even to myself why I automatically felt it was a romance story.

Because Harlequin has an entire line called "Second Chance at Love."

---------------------

Q. What do angry mice send each other on Christmas?

A. Cross mouse cards.

--------------------

Hey, everyone! Merry, Joyous, and Happy, as appropriate.

Now it's time for Christmas Challenge 2008, Part Two.

By now everyone has a complete plot outline and character list for a best-selling and/or award-winning novel.

Now: Retell the story with one of the minor characters as main character. It's the same plot. The same events happen, but your main character only knows about the events that he/she witnesses. At the same time, that character will have events happen to/around him/her that weren't in the original book at all. (Some characters will vanish; simultaneously you'll need to create other new ones.)

Think Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead or The Wind Done Gone.

At the same time: Change all the names, and change the setting. (E.g. if the novel you chose was set in a hospital in the American south in 1967, set the re-imagining in a Spanish cloister in the 17th century. Extra points for changing genre (e.g. murder mystery to romance).)

You don't need to actually write the novel, but you should write a strong outline. Your deadline is January 6th.

Ready, set, go!

------------------------

What, did everyone get stunned into silence?

------------------------

I think it might be more useful to move one step back from the original and extract the essence (action) of each chapter.

We already did that in the first part of this exercise (see 6 December).

This could then be used as a structure for a new book with totally new characters and a new plot, maybe?

That's what we're doing right now. As to new plot ... I don't know. Are there any new plots?

--------------------------

How does this exercise differ from fanfiction?

We don't have the same setting, and we don't have the same character names.

I think you'll find that giving the characters new names, putting them in a different time and place, and looking at the adventures of a minor character will give you something that's uniquely yours.

---------------------

Holmes is in the public domain.

There's a minefield here. If I recall correctly only some of the Sherlock Holmes stories are PD, so you can't refer to characters, items, or events from the later stories. Also, huge amounts of material that everyone thinks of as Sherlock Holmes don't come from the stories at all, but from movies which are still under copyright. (An example of that is the Calabash pipe. The Holmes of the stories smoked a short black brier pipe.)

For an example of a Sherlock Holmes story set in a different time and place with different character names, see Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose.

---------------------

I would say the only similarity is that you have a detective with a sidekick and a deductive process. Why do you say it is a SH story?

A detective named William of Baskerville, as in Hound of the Baskervilles. The story is told by Baskerville's companion, Adso (i.e. (W)atso(n)).

--------------------

In my stories, I have named the characters Soames and Wilson.

As in House and Wilson (from the TV series House)? (House=Holmes, Wilson=Watson in that series. Instead of being detectives in Victorian London, they're doctors in a modern American hospital.)

Read these two sentences together:

"It would be obvious to anyone reading the material who the main characters are. "

"Is that enough to get around any copyright difficulties?"

I think you have your answer.

For another example of Holmes under a different name, see Solar Pons.

My sister read one of the stories and said: "It's much too like Sherlock Holmes."

I think your sister has a point. What are you bringing to the table that Sir Arthur didn't already serve? Try calling them Younger and Reynolds, and putting them in Berkley, California, in 1967. See what that does for your story.

-----------------------

If you do change the setting and character names, but extract the plot and basic characteristics of the characters, it's a derivative work.

To one degree or another any novel is a derivative of other novels. All art is in conversation with other art.

------------------------

I'll warn you though, most "fanfiction" is drivel ... on a good day.

That's one of the reasons I recommend reading fifty stories in a row from Fanfiction.net to simulate the slush-reading experience that agents and editors go through.

-------------------------

...yet, Embrig Spaceport on Mandeyn.

Embrig Spaceport on Mandeyn was based closely on Cartagena, Colombia. (Other places you can look for include Willemstad, Curacao, and Howard Air Force Base, Panama.)

----------------------

Hi Uncle Jim,

Is there such a thing as peaceful serenity? Or is it like saying great big huge?

Well, is there such a thing stormy serenity? A hawkish serenity?

-------------------

"Alright" is a non-standard variant of "all right."

The copyeditor will change "alright" to "all right" unless you specify otherwise in your style sheet.

-------------------

Re: Titles.

Titles can't be copyrighted ('though they can be trademarked). Still, I'd be a fool to call my book Moby-Dick; or, The Whale because of the possibility of confusing my readers.

Some estates are particularly litigious (for example, the Tolkien estate), leading them to launch frivolous yet interminable lawsuits, which nevertheless are sufficiently wearing (since they have more money than anyone needs), such that they were able to make There And Back Again by Pat Murphy permanently unpublishable.

You'll notice that my own The Apocalypse Door (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm) shares a title with a book by William Todd which came out at roughly the same time. This never caused me any trouble.

----------------------

Okay, writing groups.

If there isn't one in your area, you can start one yourself.

Are there four or five writers, working at about your same level, in similar (or compatible) genres? Good. Discuss forming a writing group with them.

Having decided to do it, find a meeting place. A public library or a community center would be good, since if you start meeting in people's homes pretty soon the tea and muffins will become more important than the writing.

Establish minimums for how much work you need to present each week. Every week, everyone brings in that number of pages of their work-in-progress. Folks take 'em home. The following week, everyone presents their comments on that week's works, and collects the next week's stories/chapters/sections. Continue.

No free rides! If someone doesn't come up with the requisite number of pages each week -- you can be merciful once or twice, but after that, they're out.

No reviewing for blood. There are enough things in the writing life that'll make you cry without having one of your friends do it to you too. The goal isn't to show how clever you are, but to be both helpful and truthful.

-------------------

How do you find these people? That's always been my biggest question

A note on the bulletin board at the library, or seeing who goes to local writing conferences, might help. Get wired into the writing demi-monde in your area. Writers who are social enough to be a in a writing group aren't invisible.

--------------------

Do you mean it's now out of print and will never be reprinted, because of this?

That's exactly what I mean.

---------------------

Sharing work that was more polished I would have no problem with. Or does this go against the ethos of a typical writer's group?

First draft? No need for that. There's no reason why you should be workshopping anything less than ready-for-beta material.

------------------------

Hi Uncle Jim,

Is there a simple way to explain why was should be used instead of were? Without it getting too complicated or for it to sound like the explanation came from the Oxford Dictionary? :flag:

Hmmm.

It would help if you had an example. But:

In general:

Was is singular (I was walking down the street) while were is plural (We were walking down the street).

I was, you were, he/she/it was; we were, you were, they were.

Or are you talking about the subjunctive mood?

If you have a statement contrary to fact, you use were. "If I were you."

Use were for the conditional mood (some condition needs to change for the statement to be true) "If it were raining."

Subjunctive and conditional phrases often (but not exclusively) start with the word "If."

----------------------

I like the vermin with the smoldering hindquarters.

You can indicate thought any way you please (italics are more common, though).

Please consider re-paragraphing, whichever way you go.

-----------------------

How do your favorite writers handle thoughts/internal dialog?

------------------------

Well, huge blocks of italics look cheesy.

------------------------

I once read a Leon Uris novel where alternating chapters were set in ALL CAPS. Or, I should say that I read half of the novel. It didn't take me long to start skipping alternate chapters.

------------------------

I'm certain Uris had his reasons, and he had sufficient horsepower to get his publisher to go along with it. What it was I never found out since I didn't read the ALL-CAPS part.

------------------------

As for the ALL CAPS chapters, I have never seen that.

Read a lot. Read widely. Read the best. Read everything. This is why.

-----------

By the way (tiny boast):

My agent recently got an inquiry from Random House, Germany. Having read one of my sample chapters on my web page, he wanted to know if German Translation rights were available.

Maybe nothing will come of it. Maybe something will. But without the sample chapter....

Guys, I'm telling you. If you don't have Chapter One from every book you've ever published on your web page, you are missing out big time.

(Oh -- the sample chapter must be Chapter One. And it must have a link to Buy This Book Now right on the same page. Spell check and HTML-check are not optional.)

------------------------

A novel-writing wiki. (http://www.ljcohen.net/Tiddlywiki.htm) (Freeware.)

Instructions/tutorial. (http://ljcbluemuse.blogspot.com/search/label/TiddlyWikiWrite)

------------------------

would you say Jim, that reading a bad book can be as instructive as reading a good one?

Yes, provided you do so knowing how it is bad and why it is bad, and how to avoid its errors.

For good books you want to figure out how it is good and why it is good, and also how to emulate it.

Be a reader. Be a thoughtful reader.

Learn.

----------------------------

Yet More Truth About Publishing. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ78WHpGZ1o)

---------------------------

The other thing about Death's ALL CAPS dialog is that it's brief.

BTW, in the video, many of the scenes were shot inside the Macmillan USA offices (in the Flatiron Building), so you can get a good idea of what publishing offices look like (though it's less reliable about what goes on there).

-----------------------

Song lyrics are formatted like any other poetry.

And yes, you need permission to quote them. Even one or two lines.

------------------------

Public Domain is public domain, and you can use it at liberty.

Be very certain that the work is public domain, though.

There was sorrow, there were trans-Atlantic phone calls, there were unexpected payments for rights, when a recent book that involved retellings of traditional ballads turned out to contain a retelling of a ballad that wasn't traditional -- that was recently composed, copyright registered, and had a living author. All's well that ends well and so forth, and the author of the ballad was genuinely sweet and understanding, but things could have been very sticky indeed.

------------------------

Seif, that's a question to ask your editor.

Your book probably won't stand or fall on one or two lines.

-----------------------

subject change (to move this thread up):
What is the purpose for agents to advertise that they are 'Actively seeking new authors' but tell you in their rejection letters, that they are too busy with their current inventory of clients.

Do not engage in rejectomancy.

Anything that isn't "Yes" is "No," and all Noes are equivalent.

------------------------

I seriously recommend that you read Slushkiller (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html).

Back to songs for a moment:

I've seldom seen song lyrics used in a novel where the novel wouldn't have been improved by not using them.

----------------------

Hi Uncle Jim,

When mentioning the titles of newspaper articles how are they portrayed?

A) MacArthur Clan Declares Bankruptcy
B) MacArthur Clan Declares Bankruptcy
C) "MacArthur Clan Declares Bankruptcy"
D) None of the above, and if this is case, could you give me an example?

D. MacArthur Clan Declares Bankruptcy

Capitalize the first letters of all words, except articles (the, a, an), prepositions (e.g. into, in, by), and coordinating conjunctions (and, or). Regardless of part of speech, the first and last words of the headline are always capitalized.

Regardless of what you do, the copyeditor will mark the headlines to the publisher's house style. (More likely than not they'll set it in small caps.) If you can get your word processor to double-underline, that's how you indicate small caps.

----------------------

And, as always, the guidelines of the publisher or agent you're submitting to trump any other advice you may get.

----------------------

Page 311 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=311)
01-22-09

James D. Macdonald

12-13-2009, 09:04 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 312 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=312)
01-23-09

-----------------

"Not for me" means "write a new, better, and different book."

-----------------

First rule of fiction writing: Be interesting.

-----------------

All this to say, I'd hate to be a totally different writer trying to make it in a world where a previous person of the same name has flamed all the agents and publishers...

There's an awful lot of that going around.

Don't do like this writer, (http://mroctober.livejournal.com/366570.html)who suggested that the editor kill himself, then came back to suggest that the editor kill his cat....

Not the Dale Carnegie-approved way of winning friends and influencing people.

---------------------

My WIP is written in first person, past tense. I have discovered (thanks to several readers) that I need to put lots of POV thoughts, emotions, observations in the text to place the reader close to the narrator and to fill out the character. I hadn't realised that this was so necessary in first person form. I've done this now, but I found it quite difficult to do.

I have used several different approaches. I have passages with thoughts in past tense:

"He was no friend of mine."

Passages with thought tags:

"I thought, he's an idiot."

or

"It seemed to me that he didn't know what he was doing."

And passages with immediate thoughts in the present tense:

"God in heaven!"

Also, a lot of my MC's thoughts are expressed as questions:

"What if the police catch him before I do?"

My question: Is it okay to use a mixture of forms like this? It looks like a bit of a mish-mash to me.

Any of those could be right in the right place. Sentences don't exist except that they are surrounded by other sentences to make up paragraphs. The paragraphs form scenes. The scenes form chapters.

You can have present tense thoughts in a story written in past tense, the same as you can have present tense dialog. E.g., "Let's go to the store," she said.

You might want to figure out how tlo differentiate thoughts from other dialog. (Many people italicize.)

Be careful with questions in narration: They can give the impression that the author doesn't know either. (The author and the narrator being different.)

You might try rewriting the piece in close-third, then re-rewriting it back into first person.

-----------------------

. I've already completed 11 full edits. I don't think I can take many more!

It may be time to let this one escape and start work on something new.

-----------------------

In practical terms, read lots (and lots and lots) of good literature and the right construction for any given passage should sound right to you.

There are times and places where the passive voice is absolutely the right thing to use.

Be aware that "It sounds too passive" is an easy crit to make, and may not always be correct.

------------------------

A chafing dish is one of those serving dishes with the little alcohol-lamp under it to keep the contents warm.

In today's cool news: Remember "Philologos; or, A Murder in Bistrita" (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1585574&postcount=6358)?

It's been picked up for Year's Best Fantasy (edited by David Hartwell).

I'll let you know when the anthology comes out.

-------------------------

I think what AWers are trying to tell you is that your story needs more evil golems.

You must always strike the right balance between dinosaurs and sodomy.

-------------------------

"That was the first thing we noticed," Dalmatia said. "The copy-machine was broken."

"Broken? How?"

"The cover-glass was cracked. And when we opened the front cover, we found a photocopy of someone's bum jammed in the fuser."

"That would have been before you found Fred's body."

"Yes. He was hidden behind the coffee cart. We didn't find him until mid-morning. Everyone thought at first it was odd that he hadn't come in. Then ... the look on his face. Horrible."

"I understand," Lieutenant VanDelven said, writing in his notebook. "Do you have any idea whose butt it is?"

"No. Not really. We thought at first that it might be Fred's -- he was always such a joker. And the phone directory on his desk was open to 'Xerox Repair.' But then ... Sandy noticed that the butt was ... female."

"I see," VanDelven said. He looked around the office. No less than fifteen females were within easy view. His next question would need to be asked very tactfully....

-------------------

"Sam" is short for "Samantha," and it is her (cute and bouncy) butt that was Xeroxed.

(Note the passive construction.)

Fred's secret was that he was a transvestite: his given name was Winnifred. That won't be the only surprise the autopsy reveals....

One of Lieutenant VanDelven's most baffling cases has only begun!

------------------

Statistically, perhaps.

Fred was by no means a transexual -- she dressed in traditional male clothing and identified herself as a male at work, but was still biologically and physically a female, and kept his daytime life secret from her husband, Jerome. (Jerome called her "Winnie," and as Winnie she enjoyed wearing taffeta frocks.) Having trained as a youth as a quick-change artist, Fred/Winnie was able to keep up her double life for years.)

Incidentally, Fred wasn't murdered. He died of natural causes, if you can call an unfortunate drug interaction between NyQuil and caffeine "natural." Lieutenant VanDelven's investigation is about to take a very strange turn indeed.

From its seemingly mundane beginning in a Filene's Basement Spring White Sale to the startling conclusion on the peak of Denali during a blinding snowstorm, the latest novel in the best-selling VanDelven Investigates (R) mystery series will keep fans of the genre guessing!

--------------------

I was sort-of waiting for something like this to come along. Here (because it's short, and because it's in electronic form so I don't have to retype it), is a contract for a short story reprint.

AN AGREEMENT, dated - concerning a literary WORK
entitled

"Philologos; or a Murder in Bistrita" by Debra Doyle &
James Macdonald

between the EDITORS, who are David G. Hartwell &
Kathryn Cramer, c/o Dragon Press, [address redacted], and Debra Doyle & James
Macdonald, The SELLER, [address redacted]:

1. The Seller hereby licenses and grants to the Editors the
right and permission to publish the Work in an
ANTHOLOGY, provisionally titled Year's Best Fantasy #9, to
be published by Tor.com, a unit of Tom Doherty Associates.
The Seller grants to the Editors non-exclusive world
anthology rights in all languages throughout the world to
use the Work. It is understood that the use of the Work by
the Editors entails world volume rights, both in the English
language and in foreign translations, and in hardcover,
paperback, book club, and reprint editions of the anthology.
It is also understood that the Editors, are licensed to use
the Work only in the Anthology and in reprints of it,
including print and electronic versions, complete or partial,
and that all rights not specifically granted in this
Agreement are reserved to the Seller.

2. The Editors agree to pay $90.00 payable upon final
acceptance of the completed Anthology by Tor.com, a unit
of Tom Doherty Associates. This payment is an advance
against a 50% pro rata share of the Anthology's earnings, if
any, beyond the initial advance, earning to include income
from trade, book club, reprint, translations, electronic
editions, foreign sales of the anthology, or any subsidiary
rights income received by the Editors. All electronic
excerpts will be tracked and any royalty income
apportioned according to authors included. It is anticipated
that batches chosen by the publisher, of three or more
stories, will be offered electronically, but no individual
stories will be offered alone. Fifty percent of the earnings
actually received by the Editors will be distributed to the
Sellers of the stories in the Anthology at least once each
calendar year, as soon as such earnings exceed $20.00 per
story.

3. It is understood that the Anthology will be represented
by Susan Ann Protter, literary agent, and by her or the
Editors' overseas agents, and that the customary agency
fees will be deducted before payments are made to the
Editors.

4a. The Seller warrants that the Seller has the clear title to
the Work or is authorized by the Work's owner to sell the
Work; also that the story contains no libelous material and
is not in violation of any rights of privacy or any other
rights of third persons, and does not violate any existing
common law or statutory copyrights, and agrees to
indemnify and hold harmless the Editors, Tor.com
Publications, and any and all other publishing firms
licensed by the Editors to publish the Anthology, from any
loss, expense (including attorneys fees) or damage
occasioned by any and all disputes and judgements finally
sustained arising from ownership of rights herein granted,
which would constitute a breach of any of the foregoing
warranties.

4b. The Seller warrants that the Work was published for
the first time during the calendar year 2008.

5. The Editors may have the Work translated where
necessary.

6. The Seller agrees that the Editors and Publisher(s) may
use the name and biographical data of the author(s) of the
Work in connection with the exercise of and exploitation of
rights to the Work, and in the advertising or promotion for
the Anthology.

7. The Seller will receive one complimentary copy of the
first edition of the Anthology in which the Work appears.

8. The anthology shall be copyrighted in the name of the
Editors; also a separate copyright notice shall be included
for each story. Please correct notice provided below. If
blank, please provide complete notice. The copyright
notice for this story shall be worded as follows:

____c copyright 2008 by Debra Doyle & James D. Macdonald

__________________________________________________ ________________

9. Payment of the above advance shall be made in US
dollars. If the Seller wishes the Editors to pay all sums due
under this agreement to the Seller's literary agent, please
note the agent's name and address:

ACCEPTED AND AGREED: Please indicate your acceptance
by signing and returning all three copies of this agreement
to David G. Hartwell at [address redacted]. For further information call Kathryn Cramer &
David G. Hartwell at [phone number redacted], or David G. Hartwell
at [phone number redacted]. One copy will be returned to you.

X X
Seller/Agent Editors

SS# or Tax ID#________________________ If the payee is a US
citizen, we must have a SS# or Tax ID# to issue a check.

--
David G. Hartwell [email address redacted]
Senior Editor, Tor Books

-------------------------

Found in another thread here: Ways in which stories go wrong. (http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/glimmertrain/mfaletter.pdf)

Novels going wrong. (http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200107/myers)

------------------------

Hi Uncle Jim,

Silly off topic stupid question time. How are chapters numbered?

They're usually numbered 1, 2, 3, but wait until you have a final draft. Number them then.

---------------------------

I am of the firm opinion that every writer should know at least two languages to the point of being able to think in the second. It definitely expands the way in which you can know the world.

(The Learn Frisian in Fifteen Minutes trick sounds Really Swell, though, and I think I'll steal it.)

Oh -- brief brag on a student: Jean Huets (http://jeanhuets.com/about_me.html) (who attended Viable Paradise a couple of years ago), sold the story she wrote at the workshop to Kaleidotrope.

-------------------------

My first language was German. English is my primary language. I'm fluent in Spanish.

And I read music.

-----------------------

You might find an NDA if you were, say, writing the user manual for some proprietary software.

In novels, I've run into NDAs when doing tie-in novels; you've got the whole series bible, including the surprises coming next season, which you aren't supposed to reveal to the fans.

It would help if I knew the context of the comment.

[UPDATE]

Found it. (http://murdockediting.blogspot.com/2009/02/dedicated-to-dave.html)

No, you don't need to have your agent sign a non-disclosure agreement so he/she won't tell publishers your wonderful idea (so they won't steal it). I think I have that right.

I can just imagine the conversation:

SFX: Phone rings

Editor: Hello?

Agent: Hi, this is Hiram Agentguy, how ya doing?

Editor: Hiram! Hey, haven't heard from you in a long time. What's up?

Agent: My client, Joe Author, has this great idea for a book.

Editor: Cool! What is it?

Agent: I'm sorry, I can't tell you.

The thought of asking an agent to sign an NDA just makes my head hurt.

------------------------------------

You aren't allowed to come back to anywhere on the Internet until you've written 250 words of original prose fiction. Now log off and get going.

Hey UJ, what would it take for you to come down here to Missouri and teach me to keep my butt-in-chair, and my mind focused on the prize? Cuz my friggin' discipline sucks!

----------------------------

Uncle Jim, got my assignment finished last night.

Great!

Now do it again.

----------------------

Is there a place you go for this kind of thing? I have the feeling I'm missing something blindingly obvious.

The Children's Room at your local library.

--------------------------

Seriously, start in the Children's Room. That'll give you and overview (usually with colorful pictures), definitions of terms, and enough background to get you started in the direction you should go. After that you can hit the other library shelves. But start with the kids' books.

---------------------------

Once you do get to the weighty scholarly tomes, the place to look for story ideas is in the footnotes.

The footnotes are where the learned professors float their crackpot theories, and where they get bitchy about other, equally learned, professors.

You're allowed to use crackpot theories. You aren't writing a scholarly work; you're writing something fun and interesting. Crackpottery is both of those, in spades.

----------------------------

Heading to Boskone (http://www.nesfa.org/Boskone/). See you there!

(Readings! Signings! And so much more!)

-----------------------------

For people in the New York-Boston area (location is Pomfret, CT (http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Pomfret%2C%20CT&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&oe=UTF-8&startIndex=&startPage=1&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wl)):

Taught by Leigh Grossman (http://www.swordsmith.com/about.html), faculty member of UConn and author of thirteen books. Evening and weekend sessions with small class sizes and lots of personal attention.

Why Some Books Sell... and Others Don't
A close look at how editors buy books and how the book publishing process works, including the basics of how to submit a manuscript, what editors look for in books (and what to avoid), what book proposals are, and how to avoid scams.
1 four-hour session - $50
Saturday, February 21, 2009: 1pm-5pm
Saturday, March 14, 2009: 1pm-5pm

Selling Your Book
Learn how to write and revise book proposals, how to find agents and potential publishers for your work, how to submit material to publishers in a way that maximizes your chances of a book sale, how to research markets, and how to avoid publishing scams.
6 two-hour sessions - $200
Mondays, beginning February 23, 2009: 7pm-9pm

Finishing the Story
Are you stuck halfway through a book? An intensive workshop on plotting, outlining, and solving story problems.
4 two-hour sessions - $150
Wednesdays, beginning February 25, 2009: 7pm-9pm

Advanced Writing Workshop
For writers who want to push their work to the next level, whether you're writing fiction or nonfiction. Write 150 pages in 15 weeks, working on a single novella-length piece or a section of a book that you're trying to finish. Learn to set and keep writing goals, edit and work with other editors, solve story problems, and write at a professional pace - all while keeping the rest of your life flowing smoothly.
introductory session, individual conference, plus 14 two-hour sessions or 7 four-hour sessions - $500
Wednesdays, beginning March 25: 7pm-9pm

Publishing Contracts
A close look at the language in actual publishing contracts. How do you tell a good contract from a bad one? What can you negotiate over, and what are the "deal-breaking" clauses on each side. This one-day workshop takes the mystery out of publishing contracts and royalty statements and helps keep you in control of your writing career.
1 four-hour session - $100
Saturday, March 7, 2009: 1pm-5pm
More information here: http://www.swordsmith.com/workshops.html or call (860) 208-4829

Also:

Advanced Romance Writing Workshop
For writers who want to push their work to the next level, with an emphasis on the specific requirements and audience expectations of the romance genre (whether you're writing historical, romantic suspense, paranormal romance, contemporary, or another subgenre of the field). Write 150 pages in 15 weeks, working on a single romance novel, and finish the course with all the tools you need to complete the book. Learn to set and keep writing goals, edit and work with other editors, solve story problems, and write at a professional pace - all while keeping the rest of your life flowing smoothly.
introductory session, individual conference, plus 14 two-hour sessions or 7 four-hour sessions - $600

Advanced Science Fiction and Fantasy Writing Workshop
For writers who want to push their work to the next level, with an emphasis on the specific requirements and audience expectations of the SF/F genre, and taught by a longtime genre editor and writer. Write 150 pages in 15 weeks, working on a single novella-length piece or a section of a book that you're trying to finish (and if it's a longer work, finish the course with all the tools you need to complete the book). Learn to set and keep writing goals, edit and work with other editors, solve story problems, and write at a professional pace - all while keeping the rest of your life flowing smoothly.
introductory session, individual conference, plus 14 two-hour sessions or 7 four-hour sessions - $600

-------------------------------

Uncle Jim (and everyone else): How do you feel about downer tragic endings, speaking very generally?

1) Does it work?

1a) Is it the right ending for this book?
1b) Is it well written?

Speaking very generally.

------------------------------

Thanks, all.

-----------------------

Good people all, d'ye know what you could do for my birthday? Order a copy of Salt and Silver by my beloved elder daughter, Katherine Juliana.

It's her first novel, and I'm intensely proud of her (for all that she hasn't allowed me to read it, and didn't mention that she'd written it until after it sold.....)

------------------------

Impediments aid art. Add restrictions rather than take them away.

Here is a zombie story written on a Twitter: http://cavalaxis.blogspot.com/2009/01/zombie-story-140-characters-at-time.html

The only thing that I'd change is to delete the line It was like watching a bad B movie. Because that would remind the reader that this is a bad B movie. (And has been, and will be. Thus you never have your character say "You sound like the villain in a cheap romance!" lest the readers say, "Y'know, you're right," and seek something other than a cheap romance for their reading pleasure. Nor do you have your scientist/inventor say of her invention, "It sounds like something out of science fiction, but...."

------------------------------

Hmmm, I wonder if "I know it sounds like a line from a Newberry Award winner, but..." would work. :tongue

No, I don't think so. The characters can not be aware that they're in a work of art.

------------------------------

He yelled across the room "Don't go there!" Or would it be better to write: "Don't go there!" He said looking at Sam across the room.

I'd say:

He yelled, "Don't go there!"

or maybe:

"Don't go there," he yelled.

He said looking at Sam across the room is clumsy.

Said-words are a spice.

You wouldn't want your page to read:

"The green ones don't taste any better," Joe advised.

"In your opinion," Sam babbled. He was sorting the green M&Ms into a separate pile.

"Do you have to do that?" Joe commented. "It's crazy." The tic-tic-tic sound of M&Ms landing on the pile was the loudest sound in their apartment. It had been quiet ever since Mandy moved out.

"Crazy? Who are you calling crazy?" Sam emphasized. "I wasn't the one who spent his entire teenage years in the laughing academy."

"My parents had me committed because Dad lost his job and they couldn't afford to keep me," Joe grinned. "There wasn't anything wrong with me."

Tic! An M&M fell off the table and rolled across the floor. Sam watched it go.

"I think I'll call my Mom," Joe expressed after a moment.

"What are you going to call her?" Sam grunted.

"Don't go there," Joe yelled.

-----------------------

Titles can't be copyrighted.

Be sure that mentioning the titles is vital to the story; at the same time be sure that people who haven't read those works will still "get" your story.

(Or, not. I recently had a story published in which I had the protagonist reading Grimm's Deutsche Mythologie. Many of my readers would be unfamiliar with this book.)

--------------------------

Free Lessons in Cyberspace for Genre Writers (http://specmysticon.wordpress.com/2009/02/23/free-lessons-in-cyberspace-for-genre-writers/)

A collection of useful links from a speculative mystery writer.

----------------------------

The Young Visiters; or, Mr. Salteena's Plan by Daisy Ashford. A novel, from 1919. It went into multiple printings in its first year.

Ms. Ashford was nine years old when she wrote it.

The novel was turned into a stage play, which ran in New York and London in 1920.

---------------------------

What's "Speculative Mystery"?

Apparently it's what that author writes.

-----------------------------

Well, seeing as I haven't read any of those books, I can't really comment too much on 'em.

About any How-To-Write book: If it gets your butt in your chair and your fingers on the keyboard it's a good book.

--------------------------

BTW, if I can get in a minor brag:

Margaret Ronald's book, Spiral Hunt (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0061662410/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/), just came out from Eos. This is Maggie's first novel; it was the one she workshopped at Viable Paradise (http://www.viableparadise.com), her first novel sale, and is the first volume of a three-book deal with Harper.

-----------------------

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a cat to shave.

Once you've shaved that cat you can wax it and buff it to a high gloss!

I don't get this. What are "punched-out eyes"? And "mercifully" punched-out eyes?

Beats heck out of me.

Maybe if we saw the entire scene it would make sense....

-------------------

If we want to talk about eyes, the only description we have of Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice is that she has "fine eyes." And in Njal's Saga, Hallgerd's description is that she has "thief's eyes."

If you want telling details, pretty much anything by Dashiell Hammett (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=418827&postcount=4798) is wall-to-wall telling detail.

------------------------

The only other descriptions we get of Hallgerd in Njal's Saga is that she has blonde hair long enough to tuck in her belt (this becomes a plot-point later), and we are told that in her youth she was called "Hallgerd Long-legs."

Literary writers are fonder of more (and more nonsensical) metaphors in their writing. I've linked to this essay before, and I'm going to link to it again: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200107/myers

--------------------------

Lying by that mountain stream I expect she was being eaten alive by mosquitoes and black flies.

-------------------------

Mosquitoes only feed by night? That'll be a big surprise to our North Country mosquitoes.

I expect she'll have some pretty good goosebumps, too. Maybe she needs to put on a sweater.

-------------------------

I wish I hadn't pictured it.

Hmmmmm.... I'm kinda glad I did ....

This story is getting more interesting by the minute.

Just at that moment, a Kodiac bear stepped from behind an elderberry bush.

"Put down that camera!"

"What do you mean? I gotta carry it. I'm a Kodak bear!"

"That' Kodiac, not Kodak, you fool! Now fetch me a pair of pants or I'll see you're made into a rug."

----------------------

And I'm pretty sure he's chewing some bubble gum. Bazooka...

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."

Rowdy Roddy Piper as Nada in John Carpenter's They Live.

Speaking of mixed metaphors (http://mitchbenn.com/images/mp3.php?t=The+Devil+And+A+Hard+Place&id=10)...

-----------------------

Someone thought that these titles and these examples of cover art were good ideas.

Real Books That Look Like Photoshops (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/real-books-photoshop.php)

Remarkably, many of these weren't self-published. I've seen several of them in the wild (and may I say, it's worth getting a copy of Scouts In Bondage (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/1416549234/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/): it's a collection of unfortunate book covers over the ages).

---------------------------

Page 321 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=321)
03-07-09

James D. Macdonald

12-13-2009, 09:54 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 322 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=322)
03-07-09

----------------------

Yes, painting your cat is more socially acceptable, but shaving and waxing your cat (since it takes longer) is more useful to writers who are trying to put off writing.

If you have a poodle you can do even more astounding things (http://www.pinkcoyote.net/creativegrooming.html) to put off the moment when you start writing.

----------------------

Oh, and since to be a novelist is to know mankind, here are True Porn Clerk Stories (http://www.improvresourcecenter.com/mb/tpcs1.php). A young lady takes a temp job while waiting for the freelancing thing to work out.

Insightful and funny. What's not to like?

----------------------

For New Hampshire plants and animals, your first stop should probably be the NH Fish and Game (http://wildlife.state.nh.us/Wildlife/wildlife.htm) site.

80 miles west of Manchester is somewhere between Walpole and Keene. So, let's see: Walpole has a population of around 3,500, which I think is about what you wanted for your story? Hit Google Images for Walpole, NH, then hit your local library for tourist books on the North East, and for books on plants, birds, flowers, and so on, for the North East.

Tourist books are wonderful for the writer who can't visit the places, as long as you don't have people giving each other as-you-know-Bob descriptions of local places and events.

(If you want a smaller town, Gilsum, NH, has a population of 811. If you want a larger one, Keene is a college town, with a population of 22,500.)

Google images with the town name is a quick shortcut to finding all the pictures you want on one page.

Research one real town, then re-name it. That's how to cheat.

------------------------

Tonight on CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/03/06/words.language.pc/index.html):

"Can't we English-speakers just agree upon a gender-neutral pronoun?" attorney Paul Easton recently Twittered. "Tired of PC grammar gymnastics."

Easton isn't alone. There have been at least 18 recent tweets about the fact that English has no grammatically correct substitutes for words like "he," "him," and "his" that do not have a gender implied.

Consider the sentence "Everyone loves his mother." The word "his" may be seen as both sexist and inaccurate, but replacing it with "his or her" seems cumbersome, and "their" is grammatically incorrect.

Nonsense! "Their" is perfectly grammatically correct. The objection to the singular their is another of the botches created by the Latinate prescriptive grammarians of the 18th century. (Along with, more famously, not ending a sentence with a preposition, and not splitting an infinitive (both forms that we all use, perfectly correctly, every day).)
Chaucer used the singular their. The King James Bible uses it. Shakespeare used it. Jane Austin used it. George Orwell used it. F. Scott Fitzgerald used it.

And I use it.

Go, my children, and say "Everyone loves their mother."

It's correct.

------------------------------

The Walpole, NH, weather cam. (http://www.weatherbonk.com/weather/camDetail.jsp?id=cam_1227628133804)

Walpole images (http://images.google.com/images?ndsp=18&hl=en&q=walpole+nh) (Google) Everything from the town's tourist board photos to snapshots of people's weddings.

And New England Travel Guides (http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=sr_adv_b/?search-alias=stripbooks&unfiltered=1&field-keywords=new+england&field-author=&field-title=&field-isbn=&field-publisher=&node=27&url=&field-feature_browse-bin=&field-binding_browse-bin=&field-subject=&field-language=&field-dateop=&field-datemod=&field-dateyear=&sort=relevancerank&Adv-Srch-Books-Submit.x=19&Adv-Srch-Books-Submit.y=7).

You'll probably also want to find a copy of Curious New England (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/1584653590/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/).

-------------------

Splitting infinitives:

Okay.

In English, an infinitive is a verb in the form "to [verb]." E.g: to love, to warn, to rule, to hear.

In Latin (and other inflected languages), you can't split infinitives because the infinitive form is one word. E.g: amare, monere, regere, audire.

But in English, since the infinitive is two words, you can put other words between the "to" and the verb. Famously, from Star Trek, "to boldly go where no man has gone before."

English has always split infinitives. But when the Latinate Prescriptive Grammarians came along in the 18th century, to impose the grammatical rules from Latin onto English in order to make English respectable (since Latin was the perfect language) they decided that it was therefore wrong to split infinitives in English.

--------------------

There are two kinds of grammarians in the world: Descriptive and Prescriptive. The Descriptive Grammarians find the way that the language works based on the way native speakers use it. The Prescriptive Grammarians figure out how they want the language to work, and try to get native speakers to go along with it.

Descriptive Grammarians win.

--------------------

Pitfalls? Same as in any other story: Confusing the readers.

(Perhaps you're asking the wrong person: we wrote and sold a short story that was entirely in dialog. When I say "entirely," I mean it: there weren't even any dialog tags.)

------------------------

Excellent, Euclid!

Ours was "Nobody Has To Know," which appeared in Jane Yolen's Vampires (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0060502223/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/).

-----------------------

The biggest risk to a writer isn't piracy. It's obscurity.

Given that the number one reason anyone buys a book is because they've read and enjoyed another work by that same author, I don't mind people reading my stories where ever they find them.

Note that I've posted a bunch on my own webpage.

-----------------------------

T I just wish I was more interested in magic, though!

What could be more magical than thought transference to create a world in a reader's mind?

-----------------------

Take a paperback copy of your favorite novel (or, any novel picked at random from the Three Books for a Buck bin at your local bookstore).

Take a highlighter.

Go through and highlight everything that fits that definition of exposition.

There is your answer.

------------------------

Allen, if it's not too much trouble, could you try that with one of my books?

(I wonder... if something's happening on every page will the experiment give a false positive?)

----------------------The Highwayman (http://web.cecs.pdx.edu/~trent/ochs/lyrics/highwayman-orig.html) by Alfred Noyes

Beware the Burly Detective Syndrome. (http://www.critters.org/turkeycity.html)

"Burly Detective" Syndrome

Fear of proper names. Found in most of the same pulp magazines that abound with "said" bookisms and Tom Swifties. This is where you can't call Mike Shayne "Shayne" but substitute "the burly detective" or "the red-headed sleuth." Like the "said" bookish it comes from the entirely wrong-headed conviction that you can't use the same word twice in the same sentence, paragraph, or even page. This is only true of particularly strong and highly visible words, like, say, "vertiginous." It's always better to re-use an ordinary, simple noun or verb rather than contrive a cumbersome method of avoiding it.

-----------------------------

Sure it can be done.

The question is, can you do it?

There's only one way to find out.

-----------------------------

100K (if they're the right 100K) is fine with US publishers.

----------------------------

I don't think there's a publisher on the planet who is going to say, "This book is wonderful! Fantastic! Astounding! I couldn't put it down! But it's 6,500 words too long. Reject!" That's a tiny percent difference and your book will probably swing more than that one way or the other during editing anyway.

(Unless the guidelines say "Don't even think about submitting anything over 100,000 words, suckah!")

------------------------------

And the discussion of torture is over. Now.

-------------------------------
Bad guys?

The first thing you need to know is that they don't know they're bad guys. Everything they thing and do is perfectly reasonable and logical to them. They think that they're doing good and right.

The second thing that you need to know is that while you are writing that person you'll have to agree with him/her.

Don't preach. And when you're giving that person's opinions play fair. Give strong and convincing arguments to your subtle bigot.

The thing is, your hero will win. But giving the bad guy a Come Uppance for his Evilness is so very Hayes Code (http://www.artsreformation.com/a001/hays-code.html). You can do better than that.

------------------------

The Highwayman (http://web.cecs.pdx.edu/%7Etrent/ochs/lyrics/highwayman-orig.html) by Alfred Noyes

BTW, it wouldn't be a bad idea to memorize "The Highwayman."

That way you'll always have a party trick....

-------------------

There will be no discussion of torture here, and I remind everyone that I have the power to delete posts.

----------------------

Do you, yourself, know anyone named Spike?

As to who to root for: Who's the first person to show up in the book? Who's the person on page one? The readers will be rooting for that person unless you work to change them.

-----------------------

Thinking of heroes and villains may be limiting you. Think of protagonists and antagonists.

As to workshops and conferences -- some people find them useful. Some don't. Check with your local librarian to see if there's anything near you, or look at a local community college. You can often find small, free, conferences and workshops in either place.

--------------------------

Doubleday is the publisher.

--------------------------

Doubleday has been around in one form or another since the late 19th century. If you hear writers talking about "BDD," that's Bantam/Doulbleday/Dell. At the moment BDD is part of Random House, which is owned by Bertelsmann, a German media conglomerate.

-------------------------

That's more-or-less an establishing shot.

I'd replace "populated by" with "filled with", and I'd replace "frequented" with "visited."

Is one of those men sleeping under cardboard a viewpoint character?

(There are no unbreakable writers' ordinances, other than, perhaps "thou shalt be entertaining.")

-------------------------

I'm not entirely sure you aren't in that character's POV. I mean, he's aware of his location, isn't he?

How is a "shallow doorway" different from a "doorway"?

"Dumpster" is a trademark, and should be capitalized.

(Was changing tense deliberate?)

-------------------------

Once you've formed a habit around your writing it's hard to break. This includes time of day, lucky hat, and sharpening three #2 pencils before you get started.

(That's one reason you shouldn't associate bad habits with writing -- if you smoke while writing you won't be able to quit smoking without quitting writing.)

--------------------------

This tool (http://www.bdtools.net/) removes all versions of Conficker.

-------------------------

This tool (http://www.apple.com) removes all versions of worry.

Yeah, I had a Mac once. Most expensive computer I ever bought. It spent most of its life in a repair shop, and when it died for good I didn't replace it with a Mac. I'll never buy another Apple product.

There is Apple malware, by the way. It's just that because it isn't a very popular platform, not many malware makers concentrate on it.

-----------------------------

You're trying to tell me that $1,149 really isn't more than I'd paid for any other computer? Wow.

Actually, it is. And half that again on repairs over the course of two years before it became a permanent paperweight. Logic boards? Oh, yes. What eventually died that I decided not to replace was the screen. Did I mention the three-hour each way drive to get to the nearest "Genius Bar"?

No thanks, never again. Reality is what I can measure.

-------------------------

Hi Uncle Jim,

Off topic question. When changing POVs in a story does the different POV need to be in italics or would a lead in be better to let the reader know that a change in viewpoint is coming up?

Line break, and continue in the new POV.

Just make sure the readers aren't confused.

-----------------------

Macs are, financially the overall better buy.

I wouldn't take another Mac as a gift. If you work as a freelancer you can't afford the repairs and the time the thing is off in the shop.

------------------------------

I've already mentioned mine: Just type "Suddenly, without warning, a naked woman screamed," and continue from there.

-------------------------------

Don't worry about making wrong choices in your writing. You'll be re-writing the book a couple of times at least before you're done. I've written books in first person that were third person by the submission draft, and vice versa.

-------------------------------

Say what you will about Twilight, ol' Stephenie surely did something right!

----------------------------------

Page 331 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=331)
04-01-09

James D. Macdonald

12-13-2009, 10:21 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 332 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=332)
04-02-09

--------------------

How does this benefit the author? How much royalty would he/she get from a 1 cent sale?

There aren't any additional royalties. The author already got paid for that physical copy.

Remember that the number one reason anyone buys and reads a book is because the reader already read and enjoyed another book by that same author. So the author benefits that way -- the creation of another loyal fan.

-----------------------

Pen Names. How do they work, and who decides them--you, the publisher, the agent?

The short answer is: All of the above.

How they work is this: That's the name printed on the front of the book under the word "by."

As to why you might want one:

1) You're writing a series book. The publisher owns the name, and that's the name on all the books in that series. Examples include the Tom Swift novels by Victor Appleton, Hardy Boys books by Franklin W. Dixon, and Nancy Drew books by Carolyn Keene.

2) It simplifies things. When a pair of authors work together, they may have a pseudonym for their joint effort. For example, when Henry Kuttner and C. L. Moore wrote together, they published their novels under the name Lewis Padgett.

3) Your name might be confused with some other author's. If your name was Joanne K. Rowling or Stephen King or Dan Brown, your publisher would probably want you to write under a pseudonym.

4) The author may be very prolific, and may not want to go into competition with himself. Say there's an author who writes six novels a year. He may put those out under three different names, so that someone in the bookstore may say, "Wow! A new Charles Collingwood, a new Frederick Fane, and a new Rosa Belinda Coote! I like 'em all! I'll buy 'em all!" rather than saying, "Hmmm... three books by Charles Collingwood. I'll get this one."

5) The author may hate his name. For example, Sherwood Smith's name isn't Sherwood or Smith, but she really loathes the name that's on her driver's license.

6) Genre conventions dictate a particular kind of name on the jacket. Men's action/adventure novels usually have male names on 'em, romances usually have female names on 'em, regardless of the plumbing of the author.

7) The author may want to keep the various genres she writes separate, so that fans of her gritty urban procedurals won't be confused by picking up one of her cozy mysteries. Just as the number one reason someone reads a novel is they read and enjoyed a previous work, if they read and hated a previous work they won't pick up the next one by that same author.

8) The author may not want family/friends/church to know that he's writing steamy bodice-rippers (with a side-order of bodily fluids). Or an academic may not want the tenure committee to know that she's writing charming YA fantasies, lest they think she "isn't serious about academia."

9) The author may be caught in the order-to-net Death Spiral, where the only way out is to change the byline. (This is sometimes referred to as the "DAW Witness Protection Program.")

10) Or, maybe, the ever-popular Other.

---------------------------

Names that are difficult to spell, difficult to pronounce, or embarrassing, are, indeed, other places where you'll see pseuds.

John Shithousen will probably want to have some other name on the dust jacket.

-----------------------

That's the situation I'm in, and I haven't decided yet whether to submit with a pen name when I get to that point.

You and your editor will have a lot of time to discuss this while the book is in editing and production.

-----------------------

Calliopenjo: It's entirely possible.

-------------------------

Either. Both.

------------------------

Any advice for those of us killed by the writing how-to?

Go get a whole pile of novels. Read 'em just for fun. Don't analyze, don't think, just read and enjoy. This is just for fun and to clear your palate.

Then sit down and write. Write without thinking. Write without going back to edit. If you're a good-enough touch-typist, write without looking at the screen of your computer. (I sometimes look out the window while writing. Other times I turn the monitor off.) Just blast it out. Don't write a novel; ignore plot and prose. Just tell me a story.

When you've reached 300 pages, see what you have.

----------------------------

A post about writing (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006922.html) that I made elsewhere.

---------------------------

That would be the Metric Day, with 10 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, and 100 hours to the day.

1 English hour = 4.167 Metric hours

The Metric Hour (otherwise called the Kilosecond) is scheduled to replace the English hour at midnight Greenwich time on July 12, 2015, under the terms of the International Time Standard Treaty of 2007. Scientists, who already use the Metric Hour for most computations, look forward to the change.

---------------------------

Do we really need to discuss UTC (Universal Time Coordinated) here? Of course we do!

That's going to be a plot point in the next Peter Crossman novel (The Gates of Time, about which the editor is bugging me....)

And how about Sidereal Time, where time is measured by the rotation of the earth, not against the sun, but against the First Point of Aries.

------------------------

Uncle Jim,
Do you think you need more of an imagination to write fantasy or science fiction than to write in other genres?

More imagination? No. Just a different set of writing protocols, to be interpreted by readers using a different set of reading protocols.

What do we mean by reading protocols?

In a science fiction novel, if I describe what's on a desk, the reader will use this to figure out the level of technology in the society.

In a mystery novel, if I describe what's on a desk, the reader will understand that one of those objects is a clue.

In a literary novel, if I describe what's on a desk, the reader will understand it to be a metaphor for the protagonist's mental state.

And so on.

-------------------------

Stacks of books, papers, DVDs about the American Civil War, a flashlight, and a set of 19th century surgical tools. My computer, an action figure of Laura Croft, and an action figure of Emma Frost (the White Queen) with a little comic balloon above her head that says "Write your book. Now." Plus three different coffee cups.

---------------------------

The book is as long as it turns out to be. When we got to 300 pages we were done.

-----------------------------

As far as more potential in the storyline, in your better books (such as I *koff koff* write), you should have a feeling that there's a whole universe out there.

In fact, there's a short story set in the same universe, with one of the same characters, that came out in the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction about a year ago, and will be reprinted in Year's Best Fantasy 9 (ed. Hartwell and Cramer) this June. (We just got the check for that this morning.)

----------------------------

"There are eight million stories in the Naked City; this has been one of them...."

Your protagonist didn't only have one adventure in her life, right? She woke up and did something on the day before the first day you recounted in your novel. If one of her jackets has frayed sleeves she wore it a lot.

Story is all around us.

Meanwhile, in a more appalling vein:

Writers Should Know Better (http://howpublishingreallyworks.blogspot.com/2009/03/writers-should-know-better.html) from How Publishing Really Works, QueryFAIL! (http://editorialanonymous.blogspot.com/2009/03/queryfail.html) from Editorial Anonymous.

O my children, go forth and do not do likewise....

--------------------------

As it happens, I've seen one of Stephen King's original manuscripts, from after he'd already become Stephen KING. Y'know what it was? Courier 10, black on white, single-sided, double-spaced, with one-inch margins and a running head.

Nothing beats following the guidelines. They're designed to make things easier for the customer to buy the product, the customer being the editor and the product being your book.

All that the editor and/or agent owes you is a single word: Yes or no. Anything beyond that is gravy.

And if someone, anyone, critiques your book, and they're totally wrong about everything, don't get what you were saying, and have nothing but stupid comments, the harshest thing you should say is, "Thank you very much!" and mean it.

--------------------------

As it happens, I've seen one of Stephen King's original manuscripts, from after he'd already become Stephen KING. Y'know what it was? Courier 10, black on white, single-sided, double-spaced, with one-inch margins and a running head.

Nothing beats following the guidelines. They're designed to make things easier for the customer to buy the product, the customer being the editor and the product being your book.

All that the editor and/or agent owes you is a single word: Yes or no. Anything beyond that is gravy.

And if someone, anyone, critiques your book, and they're totally wrong about everything, don't get what you were saying, and have nothing but stupid comments, the harshest thing you should say is, "Thank you very much!" and mean it.

-----------------------

If you're totally fascinated, double-space after a full stop is sometimes called "English spacing" and single-space after a full stop is sometimes called "French spacing." These long pre-date typewriters. There were also rules about spaces before and after other punctuation marks. As an aside, also dating to the days of hand typesetting, cliches were common phrases cast as single slugs to speed composition.

See also: Upper case, lower case, boiler-plate, and stereotype.

--------------------------

I learned a new word today: struthionine.

It means "resembling an ostrich; in an ostrich-like manner."

I doubt I'll be using it in conversation very often....

--------------------------

Could be something, could be nothing. It's first draft. What can I say? You won't know what you have until you write it.

Now here's a Flash Fiction I just wrote:

Serial killer pretends to be literary agent to lure girls to New York and into his clutches. Bad stuff ensues. Good guys win. Film at eleven.

---------

If anyone wants to use that one, do so with my blessing. (That is, incidentally, a novel-length idea.)

---------------------------------------

Alternate history is a branch of science fiction, yes, but literary publishers do publish science fiction (see, for example, The Road).

I'm worried about your book, though. Do you like it? What are its good points? If you weren't the author and were trying to convince a friend to read it, what would you say?

----------------------------

In the wake of the great Queryfail flap (Google on "Queryfail" if you're totally curious), here is a summary of Lessons Learned (http://www.jacketflap.com/megablog/index.asp?Year=2009&Month=03&Day=05&postid=314226).

Y'know how I keep saying "submit your book to worthwhile agents and legitimate publishers, following their guidelines to the letter"?

Note the very first lesson:

1. Failure to follow directions is an automatic rejection.

------------------------

AAR? Well-known and widely respected.

Not all worthwhile agents are members, but until you know the landscape that's the way to bet.

----------------------------

I write out-of-order all the time. As scenes become clear to me, I write them. Later I decide (or Doyle does) which scenes are part of this book, and where they go.

-----------------------------

Would royalties be paid to authors for normal sales of new books through amazon?

Yes, of course they are.

An author is paid once, and only once, per physical volume. When the publisher gets money for the sale, they send part of it to the author.

After that it's like used cars: If you buy a car from some bloke that you found through a newspaper advert, neither you nor he has to send a check to the Ford Motor Company. The only folks who send money to Ford are the new car dealers.

-------------------------

Okay...

What about ebooks? Say you had established an ebook store (online or brick & mortar) and sold copies there to folks off the street. Each ebook could, arguably, be considered a new volume.

In my opinion, not that it counts, an ebook dealer should pay royalties to the author (or at least pay the wholesale rate to the publisher so the author would get a cut of that at least), but that's just my opinion.

And, except for the pirates, ebook dealers do exactly that.

Want to buy some of my books in electronic format (http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com/7FC1EC2D-9FD2-45AC-9946-BEE543B864CD/10/133/en/eBookDetails.htm?ID=F1E56DB6-02AF-4AC8-A304-D8B7B955799E)?

--------------------------

If you want to sell ebooks, talk to the publisher. Someone owns the rights; find that person/company and make a deal.

I don't think this is the right thread for this discussion.... but I bet there is such a thread somewhere at AW.

----------------------

But Uncle Jim -- what do you do on those days where no scene is clear to you?

Throw any BS that comes into my head up on screen.

Let's see:

"There's a scene here," Maincharacter said. "Why the foo aren't you writing it?"

"Because I don't friggin' see it," the author replied.

"As if I'm going to take that for an excuse? Look, Lady McSwiggin is going to have to lose her necklace if Fred is going to find it in time for the action/adventure climax. So why not do that bit?"

"Because there isn't a Lady McSwiggin isn't in this book. Who the foo is Lady McSwiggin?"

"Hey, are you expecting me to do your job for you?" Maincharacter looked at the author with exasperation dripping from his mustache. (He had bought the exasperation at Al's House of Nouns; it was his last bottle.) "I suppose I do. She's the character with the necklace."

"That didn't clarify things. What necklace?"

"The cursed one."

"Cursed one?"

"Is there an echo in here? The cursed blue one."

"You just stacked two adjectives on one noun."

"La-di-friggin'-dah. Look who's going all English Major on me now. If you don't start writing your book, if you make me write your book, you won't believe what I'm going to do to the prose."

"Okay, okay!" Suddenly, without warning, a naked woman screamed!

It was Lady McSwiggin, and she was standing at the door. "Open up right now," she screamed again.

Maincharacter turned the knob and pulled the door in. "My lady!"

Lady McSwiggin stepped inside, as Maincharacter shut the door behind her. "Would you like a pair of jodhpurs?" he asked. "I think I have some that will fit you...."

"Never mind that. I need you to hide something for me." She reached behind her neck and unclasped the necklace that she wore. The blue pendant, a diamond the size of a dwarf hamster, lay distractingly between her breasts. "Take this," she said, pressing the necklace into Maincharacter's hand. "Lord Halfbaked must never find it!"

And so on.

--------------------------

Do you and Doyle have a lot of laughs while sharing these parts?

We absolutely do. Laughing a lot is part of our writing life.

---------------------------

Present tense is getting more common than it used to be (styles change). Some small parts of Land of Mist and Snow are in present tense. But none of our longer works are fully in present tense.

This isn't because I don't like present tense (there's nothing wrong with it if it's the best tense for telling your story--All Quiet on the Western Front comes instantly to mind), it's just that so far I haven't. Past tense for storytelling is merely a literary convention.

If you're using two different tenses, the trick is to do the transitions well. (Isn't that the trick in all of writing? To do what you're doing well?) Don't confuse the reader.

Should you try in a first novel? Why not? If it doesn't work, fix it. No one sees your first drafts but you.

--------------------------

Usually, numbers from one through ninety-nine are written as words; numbers 100 and over are written as digits.

But if Mom was turning tricks, I'd hope she was making more than $655 a week, lol.

So this young lady goes to the bank with $655 in quarters and asks to open an account.

"Goodness," says the teller, "Did you hoard all of these quarters?"

"Oh, no, m'am," says the young lady. "My sister whored half of 'em."

-------------------------

As long as you're consistent, the publisher will regularize 'em to house style somewhere in the copyediting stage.

-------------------------

I'd give Lat and Long (and grid coordinates) in digits. (And expect most people to skip 'em and say "Oh, there's a number there.")

--------------------------

One of my tours of duty was as Navigator on an FF as well.

More and more these days you see lat and long listed with minutes of arc, and, rather than seconds, decimal minutes. Thus: 20o 12.85' N 74o 44.36' W.

-----------------------------

I italicize (and italics are indicated with a single underline, thus).

Use this sparingly. It verges on giving stage directions. If you've written your characters well the readers will know how they'll deliver a line of dialog.

---------------------------

Underlining is never wrong unless the guidelines of the place you're submitting the work to specifically say otherwise.

--------------------------

I've never understood why you would underline in fiction?

You would underline in fiction if you intended some word or words to be set in italic.

Uncle Jim,

One more question. Is it:

To comfort the ache
To help you comfort from the ache.

Neither?

I have no idea what you're trying to get across. More context?

-------------------------

Oh, and here's agent Jessica Faust (http://www.bookends-inc.com/about_us.html) on whether you should write short stories or keep a blog as part of your effort build a platform to sell your novel: http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2009/04/building-platform-for-fiction.html

I’ve received a lot of questions about the importance of building a platform for fiction writers. Should you write platform-building pieces under your real name or the pseudonym you want to use? What if you wrote mystery short stories, but now want to write romance novels? Do those short stories even count toward your platform? Do you need to worry about blogging now to build a platform or should you just write?

Bet you'll never guess what she recommends.

--------------------------

Also, the fellows who are typesetting your book know that underlines are set in italics. If you don't underline the italics the copyeditor will have to underline them by hand before the book goes to typesetting. It's easy to miss italics in a manuscript. It's hard to miss underlines.

========

How about "this will make you feel better"?

---------------------------

Let me paraphrase a line from one of my favorite movies (All That Jazz):

Listen. I can't make you a great writer. I don't even know if I can make you a good writer. But, if you keep trying and don't quit, I know I can make you a better writer.

---------------------------

Rules? In a knife fight? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y87EaadjqM)

There is only one rule: If it works, it's right.

---------------------

Wrong. Not over here in Europe we don't. There was another one came up some time ago that "everyone knows" but I didn't. Can't remember it now, some branch of the security service with an F in for Firearms.

You're probably thinking of BATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms). I recall one story where sugar was regulated and it was the BATC: Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Confections.

Think of your audience. Not every book is meant for every person on the planet.

Often context will take care of the problem. Other times you might want to define the term in dialog the first time it shows up. You can do this: Literary dialog is a convention of art, not a natural depiction of actual human speech. (If it were natural speech, um, like I was saying, you know, looks like it's raining out.)

--------------------

BATC: Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Chocolate! Open up!

Crook: You can't touch me, copper! Ain't nothing here but lemon drops! Ha ha ha ha ha!

------------------------

Don't confuse your readers.

-----------------------

Any advice for those days when you feel your writing is dry and your plot is pointless?

Yes.

Write anyway.

(If you need a Permission to Write Badly certificate, I can give you one (http://www.sff.net/people/yog/permission.pdf).)

--------------------------

Print up as many as you need. Discounts for writing groups!

--------------------------

Not to disagree with the man whose name is on the thread, but...

If it's entertaining it's right.

Yeah, that's one way it could work.

-------------------------------

I've been telling you this for years. (http://www.genreality.net/the-reality-of-a-times-bestseller)

--------------------------------

And it's time to play First Page!

1. First Sight

My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt--sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.

In the Olympic Penninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains on this inconsequential town more than on any other place in the United States of America. It was from this town and its gloomy, omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old. It was in this town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen. That

Okay, everyone! Do you turn the page, or do you put the book back on the shelf?

-------------------------

Page 341 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=341)
04-21-09

James D. Macdonald

12-13-2009, 08:17 PM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 342 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=342)
04-22-09

-------------------

For our work in progress, I think it would be better to use Share Your Work, elsewhere on this board.

In a bit, a line-by-line on the book excerpt above.

I know I've suggested this before, but I'm going to suggest it again: Go down to a bookstore and watch people as they decide what book to buy. What do they look at first? What is the last thing they do before they either put the book back on the shelf or walk over to the cash register?

As far as Steinbeck: By the time he wrote East of Eden he was a known quantity. People who read and liked his earlier work would give him far more room than they would give the same book with a different name on the cover. Remember that the last chapter of your current book sells your next book.

-----------------------

1. First Sight

My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt--sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.

In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains on this inconsequential town more than on any other place in the United States of America. It was from this town and its gloomy, omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old. It was in this town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen. That

Hi ho and away we go!

1. First Sight

A book with chapters, and the chapters have titles. We're going to be introduced to something new, here. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you see the word-cluster "first sight"? Very likely "love at first sight." So, looks like we're in a romance.

My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down.

First person. Past tense. We have two characters in the first two words: the narrator, and his/her mother. We have action going on: driving to the airport. Which suggests a place: we're in a car, on a road, going to said airport. We have some sensual detail, "with the windows rolled down." That's well-done. Twelve words.

It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue.

Answering the question, "where, exactly?" Expands on "the windows rolled down." Going to an airport suggests going on a trip, and a journey is a classic plot/metaphor for personal discovery. We're stressing light and perfection. Twelve more words.

I was wearing my favorite shirt--sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture.

Okay, our narrator is female. That "farewell gesture" suggests that a door is closing. The classic place to start a novel is when a door closes behind the protagonist, leaving him/her in an unfamiliar and uncomfortable place with no way back to the past status quo. Eighteen words.

My carry-on item was a parka.

Right. This is very well done. The contrast is that the weather where the protagonist is going will be cold, and the item is carry-on because she'll need that parka right away. A parka, with its concealing hood, long sleeves, and hip-length, contrasts strongly with that white sleeveless openwork shirt. Six words. Half the length of the shortest sentence so far. Good impact. The word in the position of power is "parka."

End of paragraph one.

In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds.

Answering the question "where is she going?" "Forks," as in forks in a road, implies choices. Keeping on with the journey. Contrasts the clouds with the brightness of Phoenix. Contrasts the size of the town with the size of Phoenix (no need to state that Phoenix is a large city; we all know that). The word-order choices are non-conventional, to put stress on 'exists' and 'clouds.' Alliteration on constant cover clouds. Twenty words, changing pace from the first paragraph. Slowing down the reader. Semi-infodump, but a well-done info dump.

It rains on this inconsequential town more than on any other place in the United States of America.

Not just a small town, an inconsequential town. A big word for such a small town. And a trivia fact. Is it true? Dunno, but the reader will go along with it because the author says so, and the forward motion of the story (and it is moving forward, the car is going to the airport, and the narrator is dreading the end of the journey, producing tension) induces believe. No one counts the rivets on a moving train. Spelling out the full name of the country, rather than just saying "America." What's up with that? Trying to put off the arrival? Eighteen words.

It was from this town and its gloomy, omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old.

Not just small, not just inconsequential, but filled with shade (and shade, we know, is another word for 'ghost'). That shade/those shades aren't just shady, they're gloomy. The shade isn't just gloomy, it's omnipresent. Wow. That's some industrial-strength shade there. Revealing the character's state of mind. More contrast with the bright sunny sky we saw in paragraph one. A place to be escaped from. A place that a mother would flee, taking a tiny baby with her. A place where you need a parka right away. Twenty-four words make this the longest sentence so far. Slowing down....

It was in this town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen.

Ah, so it isn't just a place she's heard of. She know for herself how dreary it is. Only compulsion would put her there. A mother fleeing alone with a child and that child compelled to spend a month every year suggests a divorced dad with court-ordered custody. The protagonist is apparently young, but still undefined. Right now, her mother, her protector, is sending her back despite her obvious reluctance. Yet more tension. Nineteen words.

That

The paragraph continues on the next page.

Let's see what words are in positions of power:

rolled down
cloudless blue
farewell gesture
parka

clouds
United States of America
old
fourteen

Of them all, "parka" is the strongest.

Four sentences in the first paragraph, at least five in the second.

I think it was nicely done, and reads aloud very well.

----------------------

Oh, browsing the internets I spotted this bit of depression: http://goodexperience.com/2008/07/following-up-on-these.php. Can I have your thoughts, Uncle Jim?

I'm not going to do a line-by-line. Attentive readers of this thread will already know what I think on most of those subjects.

I will comment that he seems to be talking about non-fiction, and the non-fiction world is a bit different from the fiction world. I will also comment that the phrase "commercial publishing" has [I]two words.

-----------------------

Uncle Jim,

What is considered a typical word count for first novel?

What genre? What do the guidelines say for the publishers in that genre? 80-100K most places.

Somebody from my writing group asked that question. If you need specifics, it's around 60K words, around 300 pages, and a romantic mystery.

How do you get 60K words to fill 300 pages?

Mysteries can be short, but 60K is sliding toward the novella area. In romance you can sometimes see books with two or three novellas in them, so it isn't impossible.

If they're the exactly right 60K words, then there you go, and look at publishers' guidelines.

What would an agent see as appropriate for a first attempt?

What do their guidelines say? Usually a query letter, a one-page synopsis, and the first three chapters.

---------------------------

Dunno about present day, but James M. Cain was a master of dialog.

----------------------------

A Clockwork Orange opens with dialog.

Try it. If it works ... go with it. If not, try something else.

---------------------------

Basically, would your analysis of the same page be the same before and after you've read the book?

As it happens, I've never read the book. (I got the text by using the Look Inside feature at Amazon.)

...but I haven't been able to get my hands on one. I can't order online--no credit card.

Interlibrary loan.

----------------

One difference is that I wouldn't outline a short story....

----------------

Seriously, a short story has one single point. A novel has many. A short story is a single joke. A novel is a comedy routine.

----------------

In a short story you don't have the room to put in anything that isn't purely part of the story.

A novel is doing aerobatics at 10,000 feet. You have room to recover.

A short story is doing aerobatics at 500 feet. You don't have much of a margin of error.

-----------------

What do you do when this happens to you? Simply jot down notes and get back to your normal WIP? Halt the WIP completely to write what you're currently drawn to? Or something in between?

So you stop writing your current WIP, and start on the new, glorious idea that seems to write itself. And half-way through that novel, you have a great idea that begs to be written, so you stop your work in progress and start writing that new novel. And half-way through writing it, you have an astounding idea ...

...and thirty years from now you have sixty half-novels in your attic.

If something begs to be written, write it. But you don't get to stop doing two hours a day on your current WIP, all the way through to The End.

her page in before getting to the "action scene"

What are your thoughts?

What does the scene accomplish?

What's the tone of your novel?

Does Character B (the one who doesn't reappear until 2/3 of the way through the book) need to be in the story at all?

-------------------

What do you think?

You've read your book. Your betas have read your book. I haven't.

If the character vanishes for 2/3 of the novel he doesn't seem all that essential. Could this character be combined with some other character to simplify things?

------------------------

He's not essential....

That means that he may not belong in this book. Fun is always good. Please consider making him essential.

--------------------

Uncle Jim,

Just because I'm curious...

How many words of fiction do you estimate you've published?

Somewhere above two million.

When did you begin creative writing? In high school? College?

In elementary school. I wrote a Hardy Boys novel when I was ten.

Did you ever work as a potato farmer? Or undercover as a janitor on an inter-galactic warship?

No, and no.

--------------------

When you feel you've actually finished writing the novel and wou're all drained, and you need another ten or twenty thousand words.

Or, if every word is the right word and you've told your story ... find a market that accepts that length in that genre.

Electronic media, in particular, are open to shorter lengths.

--------------------

What ever became of that? And was it any good?

I found it again a couple of years ago, when cleaning out the house after my mother's death. She'd kept a copy, you understand.

It had its moments.

I showed it to one of my editors, who remarked, "Even if it didn't have a name on it I'd know who wrote it."

That's because "style" is what you can't help doing. (Though it is a bit disheartening to learn that I haven't changed since I was ten....)

------------------

No, I haven't done that. But I've suggested that people take cheap paperbacks, highliters, and mark things like dialog tags, passive constructions, appearances of minor characters, and other things to make more obvious the way the blocks fit together.

-------------------

It's okay to mark library books - apparently.

People who mark library books go to a special Hell.

-----------------

Uncle Jim,

When writing novel outlines, do they look like the outlines you learned how to make when you were a kid? Or do they look different? I tried researching it but I'm getting different answers.

That's because there are as many different answers as there are writers.

No, your outlines don't have to have all those Roman numerals and capital letters and small letters and such. But I'm sure that somewhere there's a writer who does it.

Usually my outlines are about 3/4 of the length of the finished book. But your outline doesn't have to look like that, either.

Some folks outline on file cards. But you don't have to.

Find something that works for you; some way to arrange your story so you know that you have a whole story. Something that you can work with.

If it works, it's right.

------------------------

First: Land of Mist and Snow is about 65,000 words. It's a relatively short novel.

Next, the layout was as much a surprise to me as to anyone. I had nothing to do with which line ended the first page. The book's designer is the person who did that, not me. My part was to try to make sure that every sentence led compellingly to the next one.

I often fall short, but that's my goal.

---------------------

James Joyce has a lot to answer for.

---------------------

It isn't that the words are strong, it's that the place they occupy is strong. The readers will notice them, and hold them. Location, location, location!

Jacket, coat, and parka are all equally strong or weak; each could be the right word or the wrong word depending on what we want the reader to take away.

---------------------

Say we ended the paragraph with:

[INDENT]I packed a sandwich and a parka.

Compare that with :

I packed a parka and a sandwich.

In which sentence is the parka more important? In which is the sandwich more important? How does each help create a mental picture of the place where the speaker is going?

------------------

Does that mean that the visual brought about by the word "parka" was the most suggestive?

No, it means that "parka" was the last word in a paragraph.

-------------------

Put the important part in the main clause.

-------------------

Your stories should follow a rising interest curve so that the most interesting parts, the strongest parts, and the climax, come at the end. If you've done it right, within inches of each other.

If you finish strong the entire work will seem, to the reader, to have been stronger than it really was. (Conversely, if you finish weak, the rest of the work will seem, in retrospect, weaker.)

Shall we now go read The Wonderful One-Hoss Shay (http://www.legallanguage.com/resources/poems/onehossshay/)?

I think we shall. Go, read it. Come back when you're done. Understand it and you understand much.

(That Oliver Wendell Holmes, by the way, was Dr. Holmes, the father of the Supreme Court justice of the same name.)

-----------------------

The Deacon's Masterpiece has lasted much longer than one hundred years. Examine it.

How does Holmes present his story? How does he present his information?

Notice that there's a punchline--a climax. How does he set that up? Where's the foreshadowing? What's the poet's relationship with the audience?

But mostly, where does he put the important words?

(Note the use of dialect. This has fallen out of favor. Who knows? Someday it may make a return.)

-------------------

I've recommended Duotrope several times.

-------------------

I ask because I've read stories that voice qualities are used in describing someone. So I'm thinking this is normal.

Opinion?

I'd decide if the more important quality of the voice is smooth, or if the more important quality is soft, and use just one adjective.

-------------------------

Nevertheless, stacking up multiple adjectives on the same noun is poor form.

---------------------------

Of course, if it's necessary to use two or more adjectives on a noun to achieve the effect you need, do so.

The overriding rule is (all together now!) If it works, it's right.

---------------------------

She put her lips next to the crack in the door. "My mascara is starting to run," she said.

---------------------------

Well, folks, it's time to play First Page again.

Here's the first page from a published novel. The question is: Do you turn the page?

Milburn Observed Through Notalgia

One day early in October Frederick Hawthorne, a seventy-year-old lawyer who had lost very little to the years, left his house on Melrose Avenue in Milburn, New York, to walk across town to his offices on Wheat Row, just beside the square. The temperature was a little colder than Milburn expected so early in its autumn, but Ricky wore his winter uniform of tweed topcoat, cashmere muffler and gray, no-nonsense hat. He walked a little briskly down Melrose Avenue to warm up his blood, moving beneath huge oaks and smaller maples already colored heart-wrenching shades of orange and red--another unseasonal touch. He was susceptible to colds, and if the temperature dropped another five degrees, he'd have to drive.

If you do turn the page, here's an assignment for you: Write the second page (250 words).

Write it in one of the following genres, maintaining this author's style:

Romance
Fantasy
Horror
Science Fiction
Mystery
Mainstream
Literary
Erotica
Memoir

Then write another second page in a different genre. That's 500 words, total. Shouldn't take more than hour, even if you only type twenty words a minute and spend ten minutes staring at the ceiling.

If you don't want to turn the page: Rent a movie you've never seen before, and watch it with sound (and subtitles) off. Write an outline of the plot. You aren't allowed to take notes while watching it.

--------------------------

Page 351 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=351)
05-09-09

James D. Macdonald

12-13-2009, 08:47 PM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 352 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=352)
05-09-09

-------------------

It's a certain P.S., the finest genre writer, living or dead, IMO.

So, have you done your assignment?

--------------------

Post them at SYW, if you must post.

--------------------

"Mainstream" is the stuff shelved in "Fiction and Literature" at the bookstore, as opposed to SF/F, Mystery, Romance, etc.

--------------------

Milburn Observed Through Nostalgia

One day early in October Frederick Hawthorne, a seventy-year-old lawyer who had lost very little to the years, left his house on Melrose Avenue in Milburn, New York, to walk across town to his offices on Wheat Row, just beside the square. The temperature was a little colder than Milburn expected so early in its autumn, but Ricky wore his winter uniform of tweed topcoat, cashmere muffler and gray, no-nonsense hat. He walked a little briskly down Melrose Avenue to warm up his blood, moving beneath huge oaks and smaller maples already colored heart-wrenching shades of orange and red--another unseasonal touch. He was susceptible to colds, and if the temperature dropped another five degrees, he'd have to drive.

As many have noted, this is the first page of Ghost Story by Peter Straub.

Milburn Observed Through Nostalgia

Chapter title. Placename and an emotion: the longing for things of the past, often in idealized form. Observed rather than seen or viewed, therefore more active participation by the person who is doing the observation.

One day early in October Frederick Hawthorne, a seventy-year-old lawyer who had lost very little to the years, left his house on Melrose Avenue in Milburn, New York, to walk across town to his offices on Wheat Row, just beside the square.

Quite a long sentence to lead off. A classic opening (much like Pawn to King Four), with a person in a place. The first words are very close to the also-classic "once upon a time." The person is in motion, walking. His age is emphasized, as is his profession. This should be the protagonist. The impression is that this is a small town, since an elderly man can walk across it.

The temperature was a little colder than Milburn expected so early in its autumn, but Ricky wore his winter uniform of tweed topcoat, cashmere muffler and gray, no-nonsense hat.

"Ricky" is a bit informal for a 70-year-old lawyer. We've had his age emphasized in the first sentence. Now we get "autumn" and "colder" and "winter." That looks a lot like foreshadowing. We learn more about the character in the description of his clothing (so far we know nothing about his personal appearance--the readers will have to fill in what they think an older lawyer looks like.) He seems prosperous.

He walked a little briskly down Melrose Avenue to warm up his blood, moving beneath huge oaks and smaller maples already colored heart-wrenching shades of orange and red--another unseasonal touch.

Warming his blood. Leaves changing colors. This is emphasizing the age-and-decay and end-of-life motif. Oaks are traditionally solid, and are notably long-lived. The word-group "heart-wrenching" is an odd choice.

He was susceptible to colds, and if the temperature dropped another five degrees, he'd have to drive.

So he, too, has a hint of decay in him. Susceptible to colds, and needs to warm his blood. He has a car, but walks by choice.

That's it, the entire first page, the entire first paragraph. Four sentences (not counting the chapter title). What we've done is introduce a character and, without describing him, allowed the reader to create a pretty decent picture. So far no problems, other than getting to work and needing to avoid catching cold.

-------------------------

One Paragraph. Surely you could give a book more than one paragraph before you turn to a movie

Readers in bookshops, editorial assistants with slush--one paragraph may be all you get.

Make that paragraph count. Here we have a person in a place with a (very minor) problem. The person is in motion. But that's all we have.

If the longer, more descriptive sentences aren't what you're looking for, this book may not be for you.

(Someone who has read and enjoyed a previous book by the same author will likely give more of a chance, but that's stripped out by not posting titles/authors when we play this game.)

-------------------------

In other news: My novel, The Apocalypse Door (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm), will be reprinted in paperback this coming December.

Preorder now! Beat the rush!

----------------------

The genre is Urban Fantasy, and it was written without Dr. Doyle's assistance.

----------------------

This is an odd sentence: What does he mean by "its autumn"?
Also, he refers to his winter clothes as a "uniform" which is a little odd. Suggests a man of habit (excuse the pun).

It's the autumn belonging or pertaining to the town of Milburn. The author could have said "Milburn's autumn," but that might have been clunky.

And yes, Ricky does seem to be a man of reliable habit. This tends toward characterization.

-----------------------

In general: Readers need far less description and less backstory than you'd think.

-----------------------

Stories and artwork gone dreadfully, dreadfully wrong (http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/stupidcovers/index.html).

(These are far worse than the Archie Meets the Punisher crossover....)

Sometimes you can learn more from failure than from success.

----------------------

That's disheartening in its stupidity. It's no wonder the book stores are overflowing with crap.

If the author is functionally illiterate, or has a written something that your house doesn't publish (or pretty much anything in Slushkiller categories 1-6 (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html)) you'll be able to tell in a paragraph--or less.

As to readers in bookstores, heaven love 'em, have you ever watched them? There are no more selfish individuals on earth than readers picking books. "What's in it for me?" is their battle cry. If you can get them to read one paragraph you're already ahead. To get them there, they have to have pulled the book off the shelf (rather than walking right by it), and they have to have glanced at the cover and not instantly put it back. They may not even open to the first paragraph. They may open to page 134. So you have to make sure that all of your paragraphs are good, not just the first one that you've workshopped to death.

--------------------------

I've added characters to books somewhere in the between-first-and-later draft stage.

I did this once to editorial request after submission and acceptance. (Simon here (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm).)

This requires a ground-level full-book rewrite to smooth it all out. If the character isn't fully integrated he/she will need to be cut out again, which rather defeats the purpose.

------------------------

A room can sit at the end of a hallway. A house can sit on a hill. A dish can sit on a shelf. A couch can sit against the far wall.

------------------------

But, couldn't you also say.
The room at the far end of the hallway. The house on the hill. The couch against the wall. Etc.

Why use sit at all?

Because sometimes sit is the right word.

Also, consider:

"The house sat on the hill" is a complete sentence. "The house on the hill" isn't a sentence.

============

Now, in tonight's episode of Talk Like An English Major, it's Vocabulary Time!

Tonight's word is epiphora. "What's epiphora?" I can hear you ask. Epiphora is the repetition of a word or phrase at the end of two or more clauses. E.g.: "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child."

Do you need to know the term? Only if the the Final Jeopardy! category is Rhetorical Devices. But even if you don't remember the fancy Greek name, epiphora is a tool for your toolbox.

------------------------------

As in "When I was born I was only a baby."
Or "I was born at a very early age."

No, not even close. Epiphora requires repeating the exact words.

BTW, the quote was from the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:11).

-----------

Next vocabulary word: anaphora.

Anaphora is repeating words or phrases at the start of clauses.

Thus, Lincoln's "we cannot dedicate—we cannot consecrate—we cannot hallow—this ground" or Churchill's "...we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender...."

----------------------

Now I also find that I've got this second one (I'm in rewrite, so this is mostly hypothetical). If the second one is ready before the first is actually accepted by an agent, should I begin sending it out separately, or save it for later (and start on a third one)?

When the second one is finished (all the re-writes, all the beta-reads, everything) start sending it around as if the first didn't exist, and at the same time start writing your third.

-------------------

Say you re-write. Say the next agent says "The book is too fast." What are you going to do then?

The reason you started sending it around was because you'd made it as good as you could.

If the agent says, "Make these changes and send it back," that's one thing. But if not, send the book to the next one on your list and continue working on your present WIP.

Remember, unless the first work sells, there isn't going to be a sequel. Make the sequel stand alone.

--------------------------

Now that we've looked at epiphor and anaphor, let's look at another -phor, diaphor.

Like epiphora and anaphora, diaphora is a kind of repetition. Diaphora is the repetition of a common term so that it has two different meanings. It doesn't necessarily imply a comparison (there's another -phor that does that).

For example:

That lie shall lie so heavy on my sword (Richard II (Shakespeare))

We must all hang together, or most assuredly we will all hang separately. (B. Franklin)

You can also have diaphora by changing the type of sentence:

De Valvert: Villain, cad, stupid flat-footed fool!
Cyrano: Ah? And I am Cyrano Savinian Hercule de Bergerac.

-------------------------

Will anyone use epiphor, anaphor, or diaphor when an editor and/or agent looks at your manuscript?

Will someone say, "Wow! Great diaphora!" No, probably not. Will someone say, "Wow! Great writing!" Well, I certainly hope so.

Knowing the kinds of things you can make words do can't hurt. But you aren't required to memorize the names. There won't be a test in the morning.

See also the array of intimidation tactics used by the Piranha (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZkWL-XvO0U) Brothers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evj24bXakqg).

(The dia- in diaphor, by the way, is the same dia- as the dia- in dialog, diarrhea, and diabolic.)

-----------------------

Next on the -phor hit parade comes metaphor. This is the one everyone knows about.

Metaphor is comparison. Not the wimpy comparison of simile, where you use "like" to show that one of these things is (in some manner or way like another), you just come out and say that one of these things is the other.

"O, my love is like a red, red rose..." (R. Burns) is a simile.

"Love is a rose..." (N. Young) is a metaphor.

Other examples of metaphor:

"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Observe the reasons for using metaphor (http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/gl_metaphor.html) here at OWL.

Two ways metaphor can go badly wrong: cliche and mixed metaphor (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzQ351pH4eg).

There's a special way metaphor can go wrong if you write fantasy or science fiction: your readers may take your metaphors literally. "He was a walking skeleton" would be read differently by a fantasy reader and a mainstream reader.

-----------------------

This list came from one of the members of my writing group. It's a list of similies, analogies, and whatever. Some are really funny.

Those, and more, come from here (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/16/AR2007031600802.html) and here (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/16/AR2007031600738.html).

-----------------------

"Is it okay to introduce a character you plan to do more with in a later book?

Of course it is.

As long as the character belongs in this book too. And I mean belongs.

-----------------------

For the outline:

Your choice. Tell the story of your novel. Keep it around ten pages single-spaced. Make sure you include the end.

(I do work from outlines, but my outlines are about 3/4 the length of the finished book.)

Now, as to "a couple of stories," beats me. Are you pitching a collection? Do you have a couple of stories lying around that work out to around fifty pages in total?

Easiest probably to just saw off the first fifty pages of your novel and send them along.

----------------------

Picked this up in another thread here, and now I bring it to you (http://www.joebobbriggs.com/jbamerica/1991/jba910510.html).

---------------------

But I would like to know how much validity there is to the statement that agents toss out anything with a prologue.

None.

Prologues can be done badly or they can be done well. It's incredibly easy to do them badly.

Figure that half of your readers will skip the prologue. Will your novel make sense to them?

Have I used prologues? Yes, of course I have. Did I do them well? Of course I did! Brilliantly! For I, Wile E. Coyote, am a Super genius!

So, let me show you a prologue from one of my books.

Right here. (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/POTSHEAD.htm)

Maybe, when I'm done with my current project, I'll put up the first chapter from that book side-by-side with it.

---------------------------

Now I want to read the book :tongue

Don't let me stop you....

----------------------------

If the agent is still reading on Page Fifty, and wants to turn to Page Fifty-One, you've done well. Regardless of whether you call it Prologue, Chapter One, or Fred.

Similarly, if the agent pushes the work aside after Page Ten and reaches for the return envelope, you haven't done so well. Regardless of whether you calll it ... y'know.

What agents and editors are: A class of reader. Think of them as Super Readers.

What you are trying to do is satisfy your readers. This starts (most times) with the Super Readers.

They are all playing gigantic games of Would You Turn the Page. Just like we do here. Only with real money on the line.

We've said this before: Agents and editors are professional gamblers. Professional gamblers don't make their money by winning every hand. They make their money by making the right bets on the hands they're dealt.

-------------------------

Is that really a prologue, Jim? It reads more like a blurb for the book, to me.

Scroll down the page, Euclid. The prologue is the part that's labeled "Prologue."

-----------------------

Why it's a prologue:

Because it's a short story, set in the same universe as the rest of the novel, with the same main characters, but separated in time and space from the rest of the action.

-----------------------

Well, I'd wanted to write when I was young. And I did write a lot during middle school and high school. Then one day, when I was 19, I stopped (I even remember the last words I wrote on that occassion). And I didn't write a word of fiction again until I was 35.

I haven't stopped since.

------------------------

That job was US Navy, but I was assigned to an overseas shore command with regular hours. I went directly from Uncle Sam to full-time writer.

-----------------------

Getting too much accomplished? Managing your time well? I have a solution!

Observe, if you will, the narrative web-comic Girl Genius (http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20021104) by Phil and Kaja Foglio.

Notice several things:

First, the authors get the story across by means of narrative and dialog. "Narrative," here, is the artwork. The equivalent of the descriptions in your novel. Dialog is dialog.

Your dialog tags are the way the balloons are drawn. Notice that most of the balloons are smooth ovals. But sometimes you'll have jagged balloons (http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20021108) or other shapes to indicate shouting, whispering, or other tones of voice. These are rare.

Note too, in long-running narrative (and this story started in 2002 and has been running three times a week for the past six-and-a-half years), that the authors are using positional play. Interesting things are placed in the narrative that aren't picked up again for years, but then become important to the plot. Those things are a) interesting when they first show up, so that they're b) memorable when they're brought back into play. But they also make sense (or at least don't stand out as nonsensical) when they first appear.

One of the limitations of the serial form is that you can't go back and revise if you suddenly discover that you need something in a later chapter. So you have to have interesting/multipurpose things all the way along. Give yourself a large supply of parts with which to build your plot.

Okay, what else do we notice? When there's a huge expository lump, having something else that's inherently interesting going on at the same time. This can be something as simple as having the characters running around (http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20030331) while pumping out the exposition, or throwing in a shapely young lady in her undies. (Nothing wrong with cheap tricks as long as they work.)

Pray notice too the smaller narrative arcs, the overall narrative arc, the use of comedy relief, and ending darned-near every page on a cliffhanger.

(People who are looking for a shorter story can check out Revenge of the Weasel Queen (http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20070827).)

---------------------------

And it's time for another first page:

I. Mandeyn: Embrig Spaceport

At well past local midnight in Embrig Spaceport--port of call for the wealthy provincial world of Mandeyn--the Feddisgatt Allee ran almost deserted from the Port Authority offices to the Strip. The warehouses lining the Allee blocked most of the skyglow from the lighted docking areas beyond, and Mandeyn's high-riding moon shed its pale illumination only in the center of the broad Allee.
Beka Rossalin-Metadi whistled an off-key tune through her front teeth as she took a leisurely return walk down the Allee to her ship. The black wool cloak she wore against the cold of Embrig's winter night swirled around her booted ankles, and if she'd put a bit of extra swagger into her stride as she left eh Painted Lily Lounge--well, she figured she was entitled.

Damn right you're entitled, my girl, she told herself. You made a tidy profit on carrying those parts for Interworld Data, and you've got another good cargo already

Will you turn the page?

------------------------

One of the neat things about Girl Genius is that you can watch the Foglios' artwork and writing improve as the years pass.

------------------------

Oh, gracious.

I'm not going to take offense at anything said. That's indeed the first page from my second novel written (seventh published). The first novel (not counting the Hardy Boys pastiche in my youth) has never seen the light of day. I should certainly hope that I've improved as an artist since then!

My unflinching egotism, though, may soon post the second and third pages. (I'm being slowed in this by my need to retype; no electronic copies exist in any form usable by me--the original was on 5.25" Atari floppy disks.)

If I were to delete anything, it would be off-topic chatter. We're talking about writing here.

-----------------------

Still too much time on your hands?

Watch the story-telling and dialog in this silent classic, Pandora's Box (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpqLQqG3X64), starring the lovely Louise Brooks, directed by the great G. W. Pabst.

Plot and story, kids. Plot and story.

---------------------------

The other day I was down at the lumber yard (getting boards to fix the floor of my porch), when the young man who worked there worked up enough courage to ask a personal question.

"Mr. Macdonald," he said (for I have grown so old that the young address me thus), "Does it cost a lot of money to publish a book?"

"No," said I. "It doesn't cost anything. Publishers pay authors, not the other way around. If someone comes up and says, 'If you give me money I'll publish you,' that person is a scammer. Rely on it."

I gestured around the lumber yard. "You don't pay to work here, do you?" I asked.

And he was enlightened.

=================

I know all of you know it, but "How much did you pay to get published?" is a question that anyone who writes for a living hears all the darned time.

-----------------------------

"Start with dialogue?" Mary asked. Her fingers drummed on the table beside her computer keyboard.

"I think it's a bad idea," Judy replied. "It's too easy to do badly."

"Yes, but I'd do it well."

Birds flitted outside. Hummingbirds, hovering flower to flower, ignoring the feeders that Ruth had hung beside the windows to lure them nearer.

"That's what you said about starting your novel with a description of the weather," Judy said. "Remember how that turned out?"

"'It was foggy along the coast, highs near fifty with a 40% chance of showers in the afternoon, snow in higher elevations overnight,'" Ruth quoted wistfully. "l really thought I had something."

"You had something, all right," Judy said. "Just what it was, though...."

"What it was, was better than your second-person-present-tense exploration of coming-of-age-in-the-South," Ruth said, annoyed.

"I don't know why that couldn't sell," Judy says. "It's jam-packed with sex and magnolias." She leans forward in her chair, her pert bosom jutting even more noticeably. You turn away, embarrassed, yet oddly drawn to the mystery that her cleavage presents. The scents of honeysuckle and magnolia blend with the odor of high-school-minx-in-heat to make a heady olfactory brew.

"That wasn't exactly what the beta-readers said. Now about starting my novel with dialogue?"

"Do it if you must," Judy said. She poured a heavy shot of bourbon over the remains of the ice in her Old Fashioned glass. "The worst that it could do is suck."

See also:

Basic q: is starting a story with dialogue a no-no? (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=47059)

First line of first chapter: Dialogue? Description? (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=142990)

Starting a novel with dialogue (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20638)

Are dialogue-driven novels a bad idea? (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2908300)

OK to start a novel with dialogue? (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=113981)

Never Start with Dialogue (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=61988)

===========

Originally posted here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3637547&postcount=16) in Starting With Dialog
(http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=143126)

----------------------

You thread started with “Learning to write”, well it does not get more basic than “why write in the first place”.

If you don't know, I can't help you.

Also: while you may not know, if you aren't writing, you aren't writing.

------------------

Being a writer is defined by the act of writing.

-------------------

Apocalypse Door is being reissued in paperback this coming December. Pre-order now and beat the rush! (Flog flog floggity-flog flog flog.)

"Stealing God" has been reprinted in several anthologies, and in my little chap book.

----------------------------

If y'all want to put up that sig widget yourself (or put it on your web page, or whatever), you can get it here: http://www.danasoft.com (callalily61--only you can see that you're logging in from work. Everyone else sees tomorrow's lottery numbers.)

Duncan: Which scene would that be? I'd hate to have cut it in the final draft if you're waiting for it.

------------------------------------

There are lots of ways to show out-of-sequence scenes in novels. The big question is why do you want to do 'em? Strict chronology should only be broken for the very best of reasons.

Coming right out and saying, "Four years earlier...." is probably the easiest. Time/date/place tags in chapter headings are another common trick.

-----------------------------

In one of my own works, I went from first person to third person for the flashback sequences.

----------------------------

Page 363 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=363)
05-05-09

James D. Macdonald

12-13-2009, 09:19 PM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 364 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=364)
06-06-09

-------------------

Re: showing thoughts.

I've seen well-done examples of all the possible styles, from not marking thoughts in any way (neither tags nor italics), to nailing them down (tags and italics) with variations of all kinds in between (including, but not limited to, marking off thoughts with asterisks rather than quote marks).

The rules are: 1) Don't confuse the readers, and 2) Be consistent.

Be guided by your ear and your writer's sensibility. You are the artist.

In practical terms, as a new writer, what I'd do is find a book that I admired, see how the author of that book showed thoughts, and do likewise.

------------------------

Is that also a common use for noting language difference?

Dunno if it's common, but that's how we did it, and the editor didn't object.

------------------------

A twist on thoughts in italics is use of a different font. Three books I've read that focused on communication with animals and other non-humans used this successfully.

One thing I always think about is, "How will this work if it's a Book On Tape, or in Braille?

------------------------

Hi James,

I've been reading this thread up to about page 17, to learn more about plotting. I've already gained a lot but a slight peeve comes up.

Worked great two (or was it three?) software and hosting-service changes ago. Just cut from the http:// to just before the next quote mark (in this case, http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0486229238/ref=nosim/madhousemanor ) and paste it in your navigation bar, then hit your Enter key.

Is it basically a hijacking of the first arc by an overwhelmingly powerful second one?

No.

Suppose the first arc is aaaaaaaaAAA (where AAA is the climax). And suppose the second arc is bbbbbbbBBB (where BBB is the climax).

The finished story with the surprise twist ending goes aaaaaaaabbbbbbbAAA.

(Q. How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Two. One to screw it nearly all the way in, the the second to add the final surprising twist.)

----------------------

What happened to BBB, the climax of the second arc? Shouldn't that be in there somehwere?

The point is that AAA replaces BBB, substitutes for it, and becomes it. The readers will say both, "Wow! I didn't see that coming!" and "Of course!"

--------------------------

Will putting telepathic dialog in quotes confuse the reader?

-----------------------------

by the way, Uncle Jim, any recommendations for good research material on Faeries? Seelie Courts and that sort of thing. I haven't found much net-wise. I remember the Faerie Queens featuring in one of your books - and being pretty nicely done.

Yes.

Facts On File
Encyclopedia of World Mythology and Legend

You should be able to find a copy in your local library.

After that, research. Go to libraries. Remember interlibrary loan. Keep your fantasy magic as strict as you would the tech in your science fiction. Everything happens for a purpose. Everything has a cost. Every advantage comes with a limitation.

For on-line sources:

Fairy and Folk Tales of the Irish Peasantry (http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/yeats/fip/)
Edited and Selected by W. B. Yeats

(Yes, that William Butler Yeats.)

I first ran into that book in the library when I was in grade school, and it made a big impression.

Also on-line:

Teutonic Mythology (http://www.northvegr.org/lore/grimmst/index.php)
by Jacob Grimm

(Yes, that Jacob Grimm.)

I ran into this one in college.

------------------------

My Brother said the book might be formulaic, if it had a cliffy at the end of every chapter, and I think he is right. So what's the best policy on cliffys?

Keep 'em relevant to plot, character, and theme.

And ... it isn't necessary to end every chapter on a cliff hanger. That's very Hardy Boys. What you do need is a reason for the reader to start the next chapter (other than out of idle curiosity...).

There's an art (as you might guess) to finding the right ending point for your chapters. (And recall that you don't need to have chapters at all.)

UJ, Can a writer create too much/many, (in trouble out of trouble in trouble, situations) in a book?

It's way easier to put in too little plot than too much.

If too much is happening, your editor will tell you.

But recall, too, that contrast is important. The quiet bits tell us what's loud. The fast bits tell us what's slow. The funny bits tell us what's sad.

Please be ware of do-loops. Actions that have no purpose other than filling pages.

If the use of certain formatting will be up to the publisher, should we just go with what we "know" (coff) to be correct, knowing that they will reformat it if it isn't the way they do it?

Follow the publisher's guidelines.

If not specified in the guidelines, follow standard manuscript format.

Okay, so the bbb arc doesn't necessarily have a climax?

Yes, it does have a climax, and the climax is AAA.

Yes, but that could also be put to good use.

Confusing your readers is almost never a good idea.

------------------------

You could write your manuscript in standard format (courier, one inch margins, etc.). I do. Or you could write in double-column triple-spaced 45 point Wired Caffeine Nervous Bold Italic, if that's what it takes for you to put words on paper.

No one sees your first draft but you.

------------------------

I use Dark Courier 10, double spaced, one-inch margins, running head in the top right margin.

-------------------------

It substitutes for the BBB part entirely.

Observe, if you will, this Bill Cosby routine:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=4393284

Gur (n) cybg: Ovyy Pbfol jnagf gb fyrrc

Gur (o) cybg: Ovyy Pbfol'f jvsr guerngraf uvz jvgu ivbyrapr.

Gur rkcrpgrq (O) pyvznk: Ovyy'f jvsr jvyy npghnyyl cresbez ivbyrapr.

Gur (N) pbapyhfvba fhofvghgrq sbe O: Ovyy trgf gb tb onpx gb fyrrc.

---------------------------

Remember, plot =/= action.

Meaningless action, action that does not move the story forward, is as deadly as any other element that doesn't move the story forward.

The slush heaps are full of stories where nothing happens. Where at the end, everyone is still where they started. The literary equivalent of watching paint dry.

-----------------------

Remember, in the Cosby routine, the b arc is pointing to actual physical violence as its climax. We never get that.

-----------------------

The biggest mistake you can make?

Replying in any manner whatsoever to a negative review.

--------------------------

Yes, I've read Sun Tzu (hasn't everyone?). But as far as being useful to me as a writer, only in so far as it gives insight into human psychology. (Not that this is a small thing.)

If you find contemplating The Art of War helps you plot, by all means do so.

-----------------------

No, that isn't what "enclave" means. Are you sure you didn't intend alcove? (And that probably belongs in Basic Writing Questions or SYW.....)

----------------------

Euclid:

New Hampshire is one of the New England states.

Steve: Genres I've written (been published) in: SF, Fantasy, Horror, non-fiction, humor, technothriller. Both book-length and short story. My only poetry has been (dare I say it?) self-published. See the AW library (where I really need to fill in more stuff, if I want it to be complete.

But this is not the Jim Macdonald Thread, this is the Learn Writing Thread (which happens to be guided by Jim Macdonald).

So, to that end:

If anyone who is reading this responds to any Google Ads for any writing-related service (such as you can see at the top of this very page), I will come to your house and mock you in person. The ads themselves range from misleading to dishonest to fraudulent, and lead to places that range from Very Bad Ideas to Utter Scams.

------------------------

A far more appropriate place to discuss all that would be on my personal homepage (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/).

-----------------------

Why not just say "Stephen Jay Gould"?

Your editor will eventually help you with this. Concentrate on telling the story for right now.

--------------------

Decoder Ring (http://www.faqintosh.com/risorse/en/othutil/webapps/rot13/)

-------------------

Don't mistake incident for plot.

-------------------

There's a lovely line in the movie Cross of Iron.

"I can not give you a Cross of Iron, but I can take you where they grow."

In the same way:

I can not give you a publishing contract, but I can take you where they grow.

-------------------------

Uncle Jim, can you explain the proper use of semicolons to me? Thanks.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/04/

I second that question, and could you comment on the use of semicolons in dialogue. I was told by a beta reader that it's not done. Is this true?

No, it is not true.

--------------------

Way back on page 3 of this thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=3), I recommended some books that y'all should have in your offices or on your desks. I included handy links so you could buy 'em if you didn't already have 'em.

Please, folks, go get 'em.

-----------------------

The "Hey, Look, Ma, I'm Writing!" style of writing?

I think Guthrie is warning against over-writing. What Mark Twain meant when he said "Eschew obfuscation."

Here's the full text of Guthrie's #11:

11: Avoid sounding ‘writerly’. Better to dirty up your prose. When you sound like a writer, your voice has crept in and authorial intrusion is always unwelcome. In the best writing, the author is invisible.

But I tell you true: What's really going to hurt is if you change levels or styles within your work. The contrast will make one or another section seem grotesque.

The full of Guthrie's advice (http://www.adventurebooksofseattle.com/Videos%20and%20Music/Hunting%20Down%20The%20Pleonasm.doc).

Take what you need. Leave the rest.

-----------------------

You're quite welcome.

Since we're handing around lists of Writers' Advice, here's a great list from John Scalzi (http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/002697.html).

------------------

Unfortunately, the writer is always a character. Even an "invisible" writer is an invisible character.

------------------

Style is what you can't help doing.

So, if you sound schoolmarmish, and can't help it, pick stories where that's a plus.

(As far as Tom Clancy: Many years ago, when I was with Uncle Sam, here's how I was introduced to his novels. I walked into the wardroom, where one of my brother officers was reading Hunt for Red October, and my comrade looked up and said, "Hey, Mac! Someone told this guy that LORAN-Charlie works!")

-----------------------

Since we're going off-site to look at things, here's The Story Is All: Ten Fiction Editors Talk Shop (http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/editors_interview/).

----------------------------

Profanity: Like every other word in your book it must reveal character, support the theme, or advance the plot.

If some word does none of those things, cut that word.

--------------------

Why not write up the adventures of Patsy Wentzel, Schoolmarm For Hire?

Patsy adjusted her pince-nez then took the ransom note. "Someone," she said, "does not have very good penmanship."

----------------------

That isn't the way that I do it, but you know the mantra.

I suggest that at least you put little check-marks in the margin to indicate "There was something else here I wanted to do."

------------------------

What's the agent sold?

-------------------------

In case I forgot to recommend this essay (if I already did, here it is again): Joe Bob Briggs on writing. (http://www.joebobbriggs.com/jbamerica/1991/jba910510.html)

----------------------

Personally, I like this list:

1. Get paid.

Sometimes trickier than it looks.

=======================

More links for you:

Displaced advice, and other sorts (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006006.html)

Like expertise, only different (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006335.html)

-----------------------

If I'm going to be Your Genial Uncle, I have to delete My Bitchy Posts. Else I'd have to change my description to Your Bitchy Uncle and where would be the fun of that?

Something else fun for y'all: http://sydneypadua.com/2dgoggles/lovelace-the-origin-2/

-----------------------

Varieties of insanity known to affect authors (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004307.html)

============================

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

Just turned in a novel. It starts with a prologue. Then the first paragraph of chapter one is a weather report.

Darned thing only runs 60K.

This probably has a lot to do with why I've been feeling so bitchy lately.

Just so you know.

--------------------

Another pair of eyes will help you to see the light. At least that is assuming you were the author.

Oh, I was. Or, co-author, actually. But since in the eyes of God and Man my wife and I are one ... well, anyway.

Not to worry. The editor will now get to make cogent comments. By the time we're done with revisions who knows what'll be there.

This is another Civil War fantasy.

Next project (and gonna power right through it this time) the next Peter Crossman novel.

After that, a new Mageworlds novel.

After that, I'll see where we stand.

-----------------------

Went to the local library looking for

Allan Guthrie - never heard of him

Scots crime fiction author.

John Scalzi - who?

American science fiction author.

John D. MacDonald - no, sorry.

American crime fiction author, now deceased, best know for his Travis McGee novels.

Have you read P.D. James? We have him.

They meant, "We have her." "P. D." stands for Phyllis Dorothy James.

And your point is? That you have a lousy library that can't do simple lookups even on UK authors?

---------------------

Well, you never get over the feeling that you're just faking it and that any minute now your editors and the reading public will figure this out and you'll have to go get an honest job.

Yeah, I know that I've said that the real way to learn to write a novel is to write one. But that isn't strictly true. What you learn by writing a novel is how to write that novel. You're going to have to go back to learning all over again on the next one.

------------------------

Can you offer any thoughts on "dead character as main character," and how one best handles that throughout the story?

No, I can't. But you can. And, with the aid of your beta readers, you will.

-----------------------

Uncle Jim, How do I stop the desire to "fiddle" with a book that is finished, has been finished, might still need a little (editorial) work, but is essentially fine the way it is, and get on with writing the next book?

Book's finished, right? Good as you can make it? You're putting in a comma in the morning and taking it out in the afternoon?

Okay. I'm giving you a deadline. Tomorrow or you have to give back the advance.

Put it in the mail tomorrow morning, go have lunch, roll a clean sheet of paper into your typewriter and get the first 250 words of your next pumped out before you go to bed.

There! That was easy, wasn't it?

----------------------

Books are never finished. They escape.

---------------------

No advance or anything yet (not even an offer, but that's because I've been fiddling with it for so long). I do have a query and the first 14 pages out to an agent...

I'm just saying, pretend there's an advance. Then you really will have to send in what you have on the day.

Meanwhile, it's perfectly okay to query several agents at the same time.

------------------------

Greg: This is the same story as we were discussing last August?

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2665399#post2665399

-------------------

If the genre is one where the reader needs to connect (emotionally) with the characters, how is this done?

By making them interesting.

Do your characters:

a) Have free will?
b) Exercise it?
c) Have a reason for moving?
d) Move?
e) Interact with their environment and each other?
f) In a recognizably human way?
g) With a goal?
h) Which is either accomplished or not?
i) Causing some recognizably human reaction?

See also Mark Twain on the rules of literary art (http://www.pbs.org/marktwain/learnmore/writings_fenimore.html):

10. [The rules] require that the author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and in their fate; and that he shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad ones. But the reader of the Deerslayer tale dislikes the good people in it, is indifferent to the others, and wishes they would all get drowned together.

----------------------------

Anyway, George told me the three rules of writing from their book:

1.You have to put it in a form someone can use.

2. You have to make it interesting enough to be worth the editor’s time and the reader’s money.

3. You have to put it where someone can read it and buy it.

That really does cover it. The best writing advice tends to be very simple. It’s using it that’s the trick.[/QUOTE]

Previously linked. (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006006.html) Now quoted for the benefit of folks who can't be bothered to follow links.

----------------------

You show Small Caps with a double underline.

Single underline = italics
Double underline = Small Caps
Triple underline = CAPITALS
Wavy underline = boldface

You may also find copyeditors putting "Sm Caps" or "S.C." in the margin, circled, where there's a word in Small Caps. You may also use Small Caps for, for example, street signs, or labels on instrument panels.

That's more of a house style kind of thing.

There isn't (in my opinion) any such thing as a purely character-driven or a purely plot-driven story.

In character-driven stories the unique characters and their interactions push the plot along. In a plot-driven story the unique set of events pulls the characters along. Regardless, you'll want strong story.

------------------------

Action may be interior, symbolic, or psychological.

-----------------------

Jim,

When I need (normal) capitals in my ms, I use them (with the shift key): LIKE THIS
(Is this not the right thing to do?)

Yes, it's the right thing to do. When you get the galleys of your book back and you see "General Wyme was assigned to nato," you'll take your red pencil and triple-underline "nato." For that matter, if you see "General wyme was assigned to NATO," you'll triple-underline the "w" in "Wyme."

If I need to use small caps, couldn't I just use them?

You could. Then, when you get the galleys back and discover that they're set as either caps or small letters, you'd take your red pencil as above.

I also use italics directly, as this seems to be preferred in the UK.

Then, when you get your galleys back, and discover that the words you wanted to be set in italic were set in roman, you'd take your red pencil, as above....

I have never used boldface.

This was probably a good choice.

--------------------------

Page 373 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=373)
06-06-09

James D. Macdonald

12-13-2009, 09:45 PM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 374 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=374)
06-26-09

----------------------

What do you think about Mr Butcher's ideas on the "craft of writing", Jim?

I've never read what he had to say about the craft of writing. I am 100% sure, however, that whatever he says is completely true, for him.

---------------

I always write "The End."

---------------

I write "The End" so that, if someone accidentally drops the manuscript, they don't waste any time looking for missing pages.

------------------

I wonder if we could, perhaps, stick to commentary that's more closely allied to writing novels.

-------------------

Uncle Jim, You've probably gone over this before, but have you ever been editing a book of yours and realized you made a horrible mistake with a character and then had to go back and track down every reference to that character and scenes he's in or wherever he's mentioned and fix it all?

Oh, heck, I've done worse than that. Doyle and I once realized that we had a major scene missing from the middle of a novel while on the way to turn it in, followed by rewriting and printing out the entire book that same night. All the foreshadowing and all the consequences of the formerly missing scene having been added on the fly, rewriting the later chapters while the first ones were printing out (this being in the days of NLQ dot matrix on fan-fold paper, which was slow).

If you don't do it, you'll rue it.

-----------------------

What's a struggling writer supposed to do?

Write your damned novel.

If how-to-write books are standing between you and finishing your book, throw the how-to-write books out the window.

--------------------

I'm turning that puppy around and subbing it to the next publication on the list ....

Go, you!

Don't let a manuscript sleep over.

-------------------

There is no word that you shouldn't use if it's the right word.

Courier is a non-proportional font. Times Roman is a proportional font.

------------------

(I used to advise them to stop asking me questions and read chess theory).

Keep going in the thread, Rupert. Before long you'll find me advising young writers to read chess theory.

Oh, and welcome.

I wish I had a penny for everytime this question has been asked.

So do I, brother. So do I.

----------------------

I took the posts here, just mine, at one point. They come to over a thousand pages in manuscript format.

My co-author (in her copious free time) is editing it down to ... something reasonable.

We'll see.

A big part of my reluctance to actually write such a book is because writing how-to-write books is often a passtime indulged in by writers whose careers have cratered on the runway. It's like methadone that way. It takes some of the edge off the writing jones without being really writing.

-------------------------

Hi again Uncle Jim:

I did see where you advised them to study chess theory, and I really did used to advise the same thing. That was what got me thinking about the similarities.

Again, thanks,

Rupert

And I am so totally in agreement with your comments on What Lawyers Should Know About Storytelling. Humans define themselves by story. We writers are the ones who tell our readers what it's like to be human.

And the rules of narrative are the same. Fiction, non-fiction -- the difference is in where the lies are coming from. We fictioneers tell our own lies. The non-fiction writers tell someone else's lies.

---------------------

I posted in another thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3767333&postcount=47), but I figure y'all will be interested too:

There are also two increasingly common factors in UK publishing which may/may not be applicable in the US. The first is sliding-scale royalties - ie 10% for the first miserable couple thousand, then up to 15%, and even to 20% if you sell enough of the things. If the original article had applied a system like this (which any decent agent should be able to get you in the UK) the math would have come out very, very differently.

Very common in the US too. I've had 'em on books since I've been writing, and that's been over twenty years.

The second is relatively new, which is the bonus system. One of the publishers interested in my book offered a system whereby certain sales levels would earn me a bonus independent of royalties - ie string-free money over and above the percentage of the book price I'd get as agreed in the contract.

They're called "escalators" here, and they click in for things like "Author appeared on The Tonight Show, $X. Book is on the New York Times Best Seller List in the Top Ten for more than six weeks, $X. Book made into a movie that opens in the top ten, $X." And so on.

Now here's the deal on that "Low Advance, High Royalty" idea, and why it's a cruddy one for authors:

First, you have to understand that books become profitable for the publisher long before the advance earns out.

Second, you have to understand that it is not unknown, right here and now, for publishers to set print runs so that it is mathematically impossible for the book to earn out, even if every single copy sells. The advantage for them is that they have a predictable profit. Makes planning easier.

They make their predicted profit, the book goes out of print and reverts, and they go on to publish other books without the hassle of cutting small checks every six months. The publishers are happy.

What happens with the Low Advance High Royalties plan? The publisher pays the low advance, sets the print run to a point where it is still mathematically impossible for the book to earn out even if all the copies sell, they make their predicted profit, plus the added profit from paying the lower advance. The book goes out of print and reverts. The publishers are even happier!

--------------------------

Sounds publishamerica—ish.

Not really. We're talking about, say, $20,000. You keep the $20K, and you get the rights to your book back to sell again to someone else. What's not to like?

--------------------------

I meant the low advance high print run senario.

Seems to me if they give you, say, 2,000 advance, set the print run too high, the writer gets screwed.

You never see any royalties, and the publisher sells above the advance. When the book dribbles to a slow crawl in sales, and doesn't sell through and reverts, well. Someone got tricked. Shady tactics at best.

Not "low advance, high print run"; it's "low advance, high royalties." With the print run set so that there can't be any royalties. Which works out to plain old "low advance."

The rule for any working writer is this: The advance is the only money you're ever going to see.

Now about reversions:

If your book has reverted you can resell it to anyone. Including the previous publisher. If you're suddenly a hot property, they'll bid.

The only way to make a living as a writer is to keep writing. And keep selling. (Which is the trick, isn't it?) But the key to keeping selling is to keep getting better.

-----------------------------

All right,

So in keeping on the current couple of posts about royalties and advances, say the same author gets his second book published. In order to make more sales I presume that with the release of a new book the publisher wants to also make more sales off of the first book that went out of print at the time. Would royalties come in for book number one while book number two is being sold?

One of the nice things about a new book's publication is that your backlist may well be put back into print and resolicited. (Resolicited: The publisher's sales force goes out and actively solicits bookstores to shelve it.) For the publisher, that's found money: They've already sunk the costs of acquistion, editing, artwork, and design. All that's left is printing, which is cheap, and distribution, which they're doing anyway because that's their core job. If the earlier book hadn't earned out before, any new revenue is put toward the advance. It it has earned out, then the author gets the money (after figuring reserve-against-returns and all the other sorrows of the writers' life).

That is if the publisher thinks that your new book is strong enough to pull other sales along with it. The publisher may not think so. In which case the earlier book continues to stumble its way toward reversion. (Without getting into the various tricks and traps, like "Permanently Out Of Stock" which is used to avoid "Out of Print," since the latter triggers reversion but the former does not. The publisher might do this, figuring that you aren't famous now, but you could become famous someday, and at that hypothetical point your backlist will be valuable. This is one place where having an agent suddenly becomes Very Very Useful Indeed.)

For the variations on this theme, see the details of your contract. Please have an expert read that contract and advise you before you sign. Good intentions don't count.

----------------------

If you're going to be an alcoholic writer -- first become a writer. You can always work on the alcoholism later.

----------------------

We're going to ReaderCon (http://www.readercon.org/) this coming weekend.

Here's the sked:

>>>>> Readercon 20 Participant Schedule: James D. Macdonald

Saturday 11:00 AM, VT: Group Reading

read (30 min.) Debra Doyle, James D. Macdonald

Doyle and Macdonald read from a work in progress.

Saturday 2:00 PM, ME/ CT: Panel

I Spy, I Fear, I Wonder: Espionage Fiction and the Fantastic. Don
D'Ammassa, C. C. Finlay (M), James D. Macdonald, Chris Nakashima-Brown,
John Shirley

In his afterword to The Atrocity Archives, Charles Stross makes a bold
pair of assertions: Len Deighton was a horror writer (because "all cold-
war era spy thrillers rely on the existential horror of nuclear
annihilation") while Lovecraft wrote spy thrillers (with their "obsessive
collection of secret information"). In fact, Stross argues that the
primary difference between the two genres is that the threat of the
"uncontrollable universe" in horror fiction "verges on the overwhelming,"
while spy fiction "allows us to believe for a while that the little people
can, by obtaining secret knowledge, acquire some leverage over" it. This
is only one example of the confluence of the espionage novel with the
genres of the fantastic; the two are blended in various ways in Neal
Stephenson's Cryptonomicon, Tim Powers' Declare, William Gibson's Spook
County, and, in the media, the Bond movies and The Prisoner. We'll survey
the best of espionage fiction as it reads to lovers of the fantastic. Are
there branches of the fantastic other than horror to which the spy novel
has a special affinity or relationship?

Sunday 12:00 Noon, Salon F: Autographing

Sunday 1:00 PM, Vineyard: Kaffeeklatsch

===========

The reading will be from the current Civil War novel, which is going to be called
either To Look Beyond the Union or Not A Single Star Obscured. Or perhaps
something else.

We're looking for something pithy from Daniel Webster to express a time-traveling
alternate history fantasy in which sometimes the Confederacy wins, and sometimes
it doesn't, and sometimes Abe Lincoln lives to retire back to Springfield, and
sometimes he's assassinated in Baltimore before he can even take the oath of
office.

Which I hope is a fun read.

----------------------------

For those who might be interested: The VP XIII Student Handbook (http://d.yimg.com/kq/groups/14020926/1200018053/name/vp-handbook-2009a%2Epdf).

Some stuff is generally applicable to folks who won't be on Martha's Vineyard in the fall.

-----------------------------

In AP style and Chicago style, the letter-grade F isn't set off in any way.

The plural, F's, has an apostrophe.

You can do anything you please, provided you're consistent. The publisher's copyeditor will change whatever you do to house style.

-------------------------

According to Anne Stuart, there are three secrets to a fabulous writing career. Unfortunately, because they're so secret, no one knows what they are.

Therefore you have three not-so secrets:

1) Keep writing, even when you aren't inspired.
2) Keep submitting, even when you're discouraged.
3) Keep improving what you do, with a critical rather than an indulgent eye on your craftsmanship.

----------------------------

Readers are unable to distinguish between talent and hard work.

Dave Barry once commented that he worked all week every week to write columns that looked like he'd knocked them off in forty-five minutes over a six-pack.

--------------------------

Should I just work on one story and save the other one for a second novel?

Yes.

---------------------------

Welcome, 5bcarnies! Has it really been six years? Well, I've been having fun.

Carimel: For a mystery, I really suggest doing an outline. One form of outline you might consider is a Ghod's-eye-view, where you write down what really happened, in chronological order, noting down when other people learn the facts, who they learn them from, and who they tell them to. This may help keep things consistent.

------------------------

Can anyone suggest some?

Red Harvest, Dashiell Hammett. (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=83813)

-----------------------

And now, to prove that I don't know nothing, we have this morning's headline on CNN:

Federal buildings get 'F' after bombs smuggled inThough exactly how they'd punctuate it if the headline were to be "Ten federal buildings get F's after bombs smuggled in" I don't know.

---------------

euclid, don't they have Interlibrary Loan in your county? I have a tiny branch library in my tiny town, but I can get almost any book that exists anywhere in the United States through it.

---------------

For Boston area fans: I'll be at Readercon this weekend. We have a reading at 11:30 on Saturday morning, and a book-signing at noon on Sunday.

-----------------

Greg, somewhere upthread I mentioned how I do 3x5 cards. (They're my preferred method.)

A far better worked-out and explained method of using 3x5's is to be found in Magic and Showmanship (Nelms).

--------------------

Everyone's line is in a different place, I suppose. And you never really get over the jitters.

-------------------

Here's my WorldCon sked. (WorldCon is in Montreal this year.)

Session ID: 28
Title: Plotting Austerity
Description: Most of us have grown up in a world of
abundance (if
only for others): what are the challenges in envisaging a
truly
austere world?
Language: English
Track: Science and Space
Moderator: Jon Courtenay Grimwood
Location: P-518BC
When: Sun 7:00 PM
Duration: 1:00 hrs:min
All Participants: Cara C. Sloat, jackb@sff.net, James D.
Macdonald,
Jon Courtenay Grimwood, Emily Wagner, Lauren Beukes

Session ID: 39
Title: Dealing with Disasters
Description: Overpopulation, climate disruption, genetic
engineering,
antibiotic overuse have all produced candidates for a
world-changing
plague, but how will we deal with it?
Language: English
Track: Science and Space
Moderator: Yourself
Location: P-511BE
When: Mon 2:00 PM
Duration: 1:30 hrs:min
All Participants: James D. Macdonald, Sparks, Perrianne
Lurie, Dave
O'Neill

Session ID: 76
Title: The Science of Risk
Description: How well do we judge risks? How does this
affect
individuals and society? From vaccination to security,
judgments of
risk are now more important than ever. Should we just
leave it to
politicians and newspapers?
Language: English
Track: Science and Space
Moderator: Yourself
Location: P-522B
When: Mon 11:00 AM
Duration: 1:00 hrs:min
All Participants: Dr Dave, David M. Kushner, James D.
Macdonald

Session ID: 104
Title: Bio-Ethics
Description: Medical experiments, drug companies,
cloning, insurance,
bookies and you.
Language: English
Track: Science and Space
Moderator: Laura Anne Gilman
Location: P-513A
When: Thu 12:30 PM
Duration: 1:30 hrs:min
All Participants: Alison Sinclair, Howard Scrimgeour,
James D.
Macdonald, Laura Anne Gilman, Russell Blackford

Session ID: 228
Title: Author Reading
Description: Kristine Kathryn Rusch; James D.
McDonald; John C.
Wright.
Language: English
Track: Reading
Moderator: <Not Available>
Location: P-522A
When: Sun 5:00 PM
Duration: 1:00 hrs:min
All Participants: James D. Macdonald, John C. Wright

Session ID: 271
Title: What to Do in an Emergency
Description: What should you do when something bad
happens? We've all
heard stories of quick-thinking kids saving grown-ups in
trouble. You
make up the bad situation, and our panelists will tell you
how to
handle it.
Language: English
Track: Kids Programming
Moderator: Yourself
Location: P-510C
When: Sat 10:00 AM
Duration: 1:00 hrs:min
All Participants: James D. Macdonald, Kathleen Sloan

Session ID: 888
Title: What Fans Don't Know about Publishing Scams
Description: All you need to know before entering the bear
pit.
Language: English
Track: Human Culture
Moderator: Yourself
Location: P-512BF
When: Sun 12:30 PM
Duration: 1:30 hrs:min
All Participants: James D. Macdonald, Teresa Nielsen
Hayden, Ginjer
Buchanan

Session ID: 897
Title: The Inspiration of Failed Art
Description: Sometimes it's the really bad, not the really
good,
that's inspiring....
Language: English
Track: Human Culture
Moderator: Sonya Taaffe
Location: P-512CG
When: Mon 10:00 AM
Duration: 1:00 hrs:min
All Participants: Alter S. Reiss, James D. Macdonald, Sonya
Taaffe,
Emmet O'Brien

Session ID: 917
Title: Future Health Care
Description: At a time when the U.S. health care system
seems to be
breaking down, while other systems around the world are
worrying, yet
many people in the world have no heath care structures at
all, what
does the future hold? What paradigms shape the
arguments?
Language: English
Track: Human Culture
Moderator: Carole Ann Moleti
Location: P-512CG
When: Sat 9:00 AM
Duration: 1:00 hrs:min
All Participants: Carole Ann Moleti, David M. Kushner,
James D.
Macdonald, Perrianne Lurie, Richard Crownover, M.D.,
Ph.D.

Session ID: 1623
Title: James D. Macdonald
Description: A chance to ask those burning questions.
Language: English
Track: Kaffeeklatsch
Moderator: <Not Available>
Location: P-521A
When: Mon 12:30 PM
Duration: 1:00 hrs:min
All Participants: James D. Macdonald

------------------

I'd number the character cards. They get inserted where the character is introduced.

Plot overview I might put on a separate sheet. Check out what works for you.

-------------------------

Well, I wouldn't use "smiled," "shrugged," or "grinned" as dialog tags in place of "said." That's for sure.

-------------------------

Does that sound reasonable to you so that I have a specific map of the community that I can always refer to and track my character's movements or is it too much detail (I won't go that far in the book, obviously)?

Sure, it's reasonable for you. The readers don't have to know it, but it's probably good for you to know exactly where everything is. (I had a large-scale map of Chicago in 1927 on my wall whilst writing Timecrime, Inc.) (I also had a calendar with important dates noted, so I knew things like the fact that Bugs Moran got out of jail (where he'd been on a Loft-and-Safe beef) on a Sunday.) That material never made it into the finished book, but my knowing it made my writing more confident.

No one but you ever sees anything but the final draft.

-----------------------

Steve is correct. Instead of revising the current work, write the next one.

If the agent thinks the work is publishable, and asks for a full, send her the new version. If you have other agents on your list, send them the revised version.

Resolve that your next work (which you are writing right now) won't be sent out until the desire to do major revisions has passed.

And learn from this. The only lesson that is wasted is the one from which you learn nothing.

------------------------

The only time you should revise is when the editor's checkbook is open.

------------------------

It bothers me that this would be necessary. My novel starts out normally and gets weirder as it progresses. Starting out with the action would ruin that flow.

No one ever said your book had to start with action.

What it has to start with is a reason for the reader to turn the page.

----------------------

...at which time I intend to resubmit to some (not all) of the agents I submitted to before (including Mr. Maass).

Did any of them invite you to resubmit the work after you'd made revisions?

----------------------

This looks more like SYW material.

----------------------------

I thought the opening should create a bond between the reader and the MC and provide a strong element of tension relevant to the plot/theme of the book.

That sounds a lot like something out of a how-to-write book.

Have you found this to be true of any published work you've ever read?

--------------------

Yes, it's my interpretation of what I've been reading in how-to-write books. It seems fairly non-controversial, though. It must be important to make a connection (a bond) between MC and reader as early as possible. The reader has to care about the MC and what happens to him/her.

All that's required for the reader to bond to a character is for that character to appear. Readers are like baby ducks that way: they'll imprint on and follow the first moving object they see. That's why it's good for the first moving character the readers see to be the main character.

I have a number of examples from Maass's book. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy is one that I've actually got here.

The road is a dead-standard piece of post-apocalyptic science fiction. The difference between McCarthy's piece and any random Baen book in the same subgenre is if it were published by Baen they'd have cleaned up the punctuation and spelling, and it wouldn't have been reviewed in The New Yorker.

In the case of my own book, Chapter 1 used to start with dialogue: The MC is being questioned by a policeman, following the discovery of a body. I have now added 300 words that make a huge difference, as the dialogue has much more meaning, now that the MC had introduced himself.

We've just finished several threads on starting novels with dialog elsewhere in this forum (and I'm sure it'll come around again). The reason you should think carefully about starting a book with dialog is that it's very easy to do badly.

I think you are less than enamoured of how-to-write books (?) Time to publish your own, perhaps? :)

Yeah, someday. Meanwhile, read back through the couple-hundred pages of this thread.

I had a look for "Logical Chess" but it's not available in the library. I'm pretty sure I read it aeons ago. I'm not sure I really need it, anyhow, as I have played chess at competition levels and I have several other books on chess strategy, notably Point Count Chess by Horowitz et al., and Nimzowitsch's (rare and wonderful) My System. Am I right in assuming your direction to read Logical Chess is aimed at people who don't actually play the game (much)?

No, my direction to read Logical Chess is aimed at people who want to learn to write. In brief: It explains every move. The goal is to have a reason for everything you do. You need to put your pieces (and your pawns) in the places where they are most likely to do you some good later on, even if you don't know now what that good will be.

I can see several problems with the analogy: First, chess is a battle between two opposing minds. Each of my moves will be countered by my opponent and his move choices will influence mine. Where's the opposing mind in writing fiction?

The usual name for the opposing mind in writing fiction is "conflict." You, the author, are making it tough for your characters to reach their goal.

Second, a game of chess is not predetermined.

It totally is. Either white will win, or black will win, or there will be a draw.

None of the moves (apart from the first) can be written down beforehand except as conditionals (if he does this, then I'll do that). I have to have a detailed plot outline in place before I start to write. I can't write a book by making it up, one chapter at a time.

Oh really? And where exactly does that plot outline come from?

I have a great anecdote about Blackburne that's relevant here, but which I'll save for another time.

I can see I'm going to have to import a post from another thread and disassemble it here.

Third, in chess, you can't move any of your main pieces (characters) without first moving one of your minor ones. (The knights are exceptions, of course).

In chess the game doesn't start until something moves. In novels, the same.

Fourth, which of your chess pieces stands for your main character? The king? He hardly moves before the endgame. The queen? It is considered unwise to move her too early. The rooks are no good; They're hemmed in at the corners until the mid-game. So, we're left with the bishops and the knights. That's four equal characters...

None of them stand for your main character. Or, they're all main characters. If you were to ask the apothecary in Romeo and Juliette, "Who's the main character?" he'd say, "There's this apothecary, y'see....." (Next assignment: Watch Shakespeare in Love.) The characters aren't the point of your novel anyway: The climax is the point. The moment when someone says "Checkmate!" That is the point.

I suppose I'm missing the point as usual...

Perhaps. You're familiar with Alice in Wonderland?

-----------------------

It's stupid question time. I'm nearing the end of my story and I'm wondering how would I know if an epilogue is necessary.

You feel like it.

Your beta readers ask for it.

Your editor suggests it.

Think of your epilogue as your curtain calls. It's removed from the climax. It presents a different view of the characters. And ... Some of your audience is already headed for the exits.

------------------

Page 383 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=383)
07-14-09

James D. Macdonald

12-13-2009, 10:16 PM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 384 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=384)
07-14-09

---------------

Okay, to thrash another post from another thread.

The thread is: Five irrefutable reasons you need to outline your story before you write it. (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=144944)

(If you're interested in knowing those five irrefutable reasons, they're:

1) Because I said so,
2) Because I said so,
3) Because I said so,
4) Because I said so, and
5) Because I said so.)

Be that as it may. The OP says:

I say this is an insane way to write a book. Why? Because you can develop the story, or at least 95 % of it, BEFORE you write a draft. You can engage in the very same wonderful creative exploration process without spending two months of your life writing a draft. When you become an architect of your story in the form of a blueprint, or a sequential outline and a list of checklist-driven components -- imagine a builder arriving at a job site with the intention of "just start building" with the hope of coming up with a functional design after several tries... even King and Deaver would think this is nuts... -- it all goes faster, it's smoother, it's clearer, and it takes a fraction of the time. And what you end up with is orders of magnitude BETTER than if you just winged it.

Where he goes badly wrong is this:

The novel on the bookstore shelves is not analogous to a finished building ready for occupancy. The novel on the bookstores shelves is the blueprint for the work of art that the reader will construct in his or her head.

Do you know how the architect arrived at the blueprints he's holding the day construction starts?

You do not.

Maybe the architect drew dozens (or hundreds) of sketches. Maybe he built a model. Maybe she fired up the CAD program. Maybe he figured out where the plumbing was going to run and planned outward from that. Maybe she looked at the landscape, considered contrasting siding materials, then worked inward to what kind of structure would be needed to support them. Maybe it came to him in a dream. Maybe the architect spent a week on the plans. Maybe the architect spent a year on them.

You don't know. You don't care. And it doesn't matter what the process was.

At some point in the process you're just going to have to wing it. Even if you're the most detail-oriented obsessive-compulsive in the world and you plan the plan to make your plans ... at some level you're just going to have to make stuff up.

Either that or find a job outside of the creative arts.

---------------------

I balk at "outline" (choke, gag, ugh-- leftover from junior high probably) but I can do synopses until forever. So I make my synopsis my outline.

You shouldn't make your outline for your novel be one of those insane Roman Numeral things (http://www.albany.edu/eas/170/outline.htm).

Or, you could. If that's what works for you.

An outline is a tool, not a pair of handcuffs.

An outline can be in prose English at novel length and divided into chapters if that's what works for you.

---------------------

Or should I go with the flow and just double check what the agent/publisher lists as their desired font?

The guidelines for the market always take precedence.

Meanwhile, if not stated, while Times New Roman may be acceptable, Courier is acceptable.

---------------------

Being a writer means that you will read differently than you did before.

--------------------

If you really, really feel the need to bump any thread, please do it with an on-topic, thought-provoking question or observation.

For example:

Let's look back a few years to some total nonsense that nevertheless got published in Salon: The confessions of a semi-successful author (http://dir.salon.com/story/books/feature/2004/03/22/midlist/index.html)

I commented about it at the time.

But I'm going to comment on it more, because it's still ripe for mockery.

Let me give "Jane Austen Doe" some advice.

1) Don't kid yourself. You aren't a midlist author. Frontlist money and backlist sales don't average out to midlist.

2) That first book of yours, the one that's out of print, but people still ask about? I'm sure it's reverted by now. Find a small press that'll put it back into print. Don't expect a six-figure advance. Don't hold out for a five-figure advance. Heck, take a publisher with decent distribution and forget the advance. You aren't getting any money or any readers with it right now, are you?

3) That ghostwriting gig? That's good money and it's easy work. See if your agent can round up more of those. Do one a year and think of it as your day job.

4) The single-author collection of short stories? What are you, nuts? Sure, do it if you must, but don't let it keep you from writing books. That's where the money is.

5) Consider a pseudonym. The DAW Books Witness Protection Program was made for people like you. You can write publishable prose and that's a rare quality. Start over as someone new. Yeah, you'll get first-book advances. No, first-book advances aren't generally $100K. Take anything that's offered and be grateful to get it.

6) News Flash: Publishing didn't just become a business. It's been a business for centuries.

7) Don't be an idiot when it comes to money. Treat every check as if it's your last ... because it could be.

8) Write your damned book. And stop whining. No one loves a whiner.

----------------------

Plots? We got plots!

http://oaks.nvg.org/folktale-types.html

---------------------

Fixed

------------------------

Today's official weirdness:

A poem that Doyle wrote over thirty years ago (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3680244&postcount=1), written on a guard tower in Iraq (http://slickdj3.deviantart.com/art/Song-of-the-Shield-Wall-46629837).

-----------------------

A couple of years ago I did a week on the Appalachian Trail (in the White Mountains -- it was like a week on a Stairmaster). It was great.

------------------------

Greg, which answer is likely to a) not confuse the readers, b) not annoy the readers, and c) be consistent?

(And must the AI-as-character name and the ship's name be the same? In 2001, note HAL 9000 and Discovery.)

----------------------------

The Unspeakable Horror of the Literary Life (http://www.storytellersunplugged.com/apparently-i-write-like-a-girl), Part 29,308,543.

--------------------------

What you're seeing there is catastrophic loss of faith in the editor. And it's the editor's fault.

-----------------------------

I recall another anthology, many years ago.

The editor had assembled a bunch of stories, both original and reprint. This was a well-known editor, working with a well-known publisher. All's well.

Then the publisher, for reasons that seemed good to them, decided that one of the stories Needed Changes if they were going to market the book in a certain region of the country. So they passed on to one of the authors that his/her story would need to have cuts made.

As it happened, it was one of the reprint stories, so it was already out in an original version. And they were only talking about reprint money to start with. And the author said "Not only no, but heck no," or words to that effect.

Which left the editor with a 4,000 word hole in his/her anthology, with press time in one week. This was a slender anthology to start with, and the deletion (aside from affecting the balance of the entire book--anthology editors consider that sort of thing--made it unpublishably short.

A week of scrambling followed.

So this sort of thing happens. Not unknown.

----------------------

Uncle Jim, If you were going to start an e-zine specializing in a particular genre, how much money would you be willing to spend on a per word basis to pay your contributing authors?

Five cents a word, minimum.

Also, in a more novel-related vein, I've been reading quite a bit lately from some "authors" regarding what they see as the need for future novelists to "give away" substantial portions of their work until they get established in order to draw a publisher's attention. These folks have recommended using blogs and websites to publish early works and to get attention from people and publishers.

Oh, you mean Cory Doctorow?

But as far as putting up early works, please, don't do it. I know of more than one author who has spent substantial amounts tracking down, buying up, and burning their early works. Or at least quietly dropping them from their bibliographies.

Just as the number one reason someone buys a book is because they read and enjoyed another work by the same author, if someone has read and loathed a work by an author subsequent sales won't happen with that reader. So posting not-ready-for-prime-time works isn't doing you any favors.

If you mean early works that were published, have reverted, and aren't getting reprinted for one reason or another ... well. I have some complete stories up on my own web page, and I have the first chapters (at least) of most of my novels posted as well.

My own inclination is that these ideas are only a step or two removed from vanity sites where an author has to pay to get his work published, if you can call it that, and that it would incentivise publishers to require writers to pay to get them to even take a look at the writer's work. This is especially true in that most publishers would consider anything published on a blog or website to have been previously published and therefore would command only reprint rates.

There's a huge line in the sand between posting work for free on your web page or your blog, and paying someone to publish it. One is self-publication, the other is vanity publication. There are all kinds of reasons to self-publish, and making money is only one of them.

Editors (generally) aren't going to be looking at your web pages anyway (though it's been known to happen). (Because it's been known to happen does not mean it's the Wave of the Future or even necessarily a good idea.)

The Baen Free Library has been an interesting experiment: Full texts of currently in-print books, offered free. The result has been an increase in sales of the print versions of the same works, to the great joy of the authors.

But, more and more, recently, I'm seeing writers or "authors" recommending "giving away" some of their work in order to draw attention to themselves. What's your feeling in this regard?

To draw attention to yourself? No. But there are lots of other motives for posting things for free on the web that aren't for the purposes of drawing attention to yourself.

The word-count I have in this thread alone is astounding, though I'm not making a dime off it, and making money isn't its point or purpose.

(Yea! My 1000th post)!!!

Go, you!

-----------------------

Plots, We Got Plots, Part II. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OlderThanDirt)

As I've remarked elsewhere, the oldest engines pull the heaviest freight.

-----------------------

His dialogue is presented in italics with a dash and no quotes....

You can use anything at all to delimit dialog. Including nothing, if that's how you roll. As long as you don't confuse the reader, you're golden.

Rules? In a novel?

-----------------------

Yes, but maybe not if you're trying to get a debut novel published.

Not really.

Charles Frazier's Cold Mountain was also a first novel, also had non-standard quotation styles, and also sold very well.

You aren't going to hear editors say, >>This is a gripping story filled with fascinating characters that fits squarely into our genre, but I'm not going to buy it because it has non-standard quote-marks.<<

Maybe Tom Rob Smith had contacts in publishing and maybe he didn't (he was a scriptwriter before he turned his hand to novels), but that makes remarkably little difference. All that being the editor's best buddy gets you is a faster read, and a faster rejection if you don't have that gripping story and those fascinating characters.

Know what you're doing and why you're doing it.

Get the gripping story and the fascinating characters: Everything else follows.

--------------------------

You mean that writers can work hard and write well and get published, and still be rejected at the last second on the basis of some random editor's misconception?!

Oh, yeah. That ain't the half of it. You should listen to writers at the bar at a convention somewhere, when it's just them talking. The whips and scorns of time have nothing on the literary life as far as making you long for that bare bodkin.

As to reading books with male/female protagonists: When I was young I read all the Nancy Drew books at the same time I was reading all the Hardy Boys books. But then I'm atypical. I grew up to be a writer.

We can say that America still has some issues that it's working through.

--------------------

I went to a mixed-gender parochial school*, then an all-male Catholic high school.

*The same school produced two other professional SF writers: James Patrick Kelly, two years ahead of me, and Elizabeth Hand, two years behind me.

--------------------

I've been going through this thread and it's a gold mine!

Uncle Jim, I see that you write in multiple genres.

1) a) Do you do it all under the same name?

Not always.

b) I'd like to write in multiple genres as well, some under a pseudonym. How easy/hard is it to conduct all business under the fake name? (getting paid, signing contracts etc)All the contracts (and all my checks) are made out in my real name.

Depending on the state you live in, cashing checks made out to some other name may be as easy as filing a DBA (Doing Business As) at the bank.

Again depending on the local situation you can use whatever name you please, provided you aren't doing so for the purpose of fraud.

2) Do you work on different projects of different genres at the same time, or do you work in one genre at a time? Does it make a difference?Yes. No (heck, it's hard for me to point to one of my works that's all the same genre inside itself). Not to me it doesn't.

Using dashes for dialogue was actually nearly mainstream for a certain time period. (I think in the 30s - 40s, but I'm not sure).

Given that Child 44 is set in Stalinist Russia....

It's vividly bleak, desperate and suspenseful from the very first line; there's no agent on earth who wouldn't read on.

Tom Rob Smith already had an agent. And Child 44 was originally written as a film script. It was his agent who suggested re-writing it as a novel.

------------------------

See also: James Tiptree, Jr.

------------------------

Author photos aren't universal (or even necessary), and signings are such pains in the patootie that no one will think twice if you decide to skip the honor entirely.

---------------------------

How many signings does it take to get to that point?

Just one, if it's bad enough.

----------------------------

jinap--I'm going to pose your question to Uncle Jim as he is the closest well-published author I know of (he posts here) who probably gets that kind of mail.

Jim--When someone takes the time to write you a nice letter and addresses it appropriately (ie through your agent or publisher) so that it does get to you, what is your protocol for responding? Do crayon scratches on wax foil get immediately circular-filed? Do copies of their Harry Potter/HP Lovecraft/Danielle Steele cross-over fanfic get reviewed? Or do you sic 'the boss' on the mail? I'd enjoy knowing Debra's response too.

I try to respond personally to everything. It isn't hard to get a writer to write, y'know?

One young fan sent a crayon illustration of one of our Circle of Magic books. I hung that on the refrigerator just like our own kids' artwork.

The annoying ones are when you get thirty letters all at once because some teacher made "Write to an author" be a class assignment.

---------------------

I'm wondering how best to signify a chapter that basically takes part in a dream. Besides the character noticing things are different from her real world, should there be a different font? Different tense (like 1st person)?

Every reader I've had so far has figured out what's going on as they get into that chapter, but I still don't want to confuse.

Changing font is something that's beyond your control. That's going to be the book designer's problem. (And how will the changed font show in the audiobook version and the Braille version?)

You could change person. Or, you could just set it off between two linebreaks (without having read your book I'd favor that, myself.)

----------------------

jinap--I'm going to pose your question to Uncle Jim as he is the closest well-published author I know of (he posts here) who probably gets that kind of mail.

Jim--When someone takes the time to write you a nice letter and addresses it appropriately (ie through your agent or publisher) so that it does get to you, what is your protocol for responding? Do crayon scratches on wax foil get immediately circular-filed? Do copies of their Harry Potter/HP Lovecraft/Danielle Steele cross-over fanfic get reviewed? Or do you sic 'the boss' on the mail? I'd enjoy knowing Debra's response too.

I try to respond personally to everything. It isn't hard to get a writer to write, y'know?

One young fan sent a crayon illustration of one of our Circle of Magic books. I hung that on the refrigerator just like our own kids' artwork.

The annoying ones are when you get thirty letters all at once because some teacher made "Write to an author" be a class assignment.

-----------------------

I'm wondering how best to signify a chapter that basically takes part in a dream. Besides the character noticing things are different from her real world, should there be a different font? Different tense (like 1st person)?

Every reader I've had so far has figured out what's going on as they get into that chapter, but I still don't want to confuse.

Changing font is something that's beyond your control. That's going to be the book designer's problem. (And how will the changed font show in the audiobook version and the Braille version?)

You could change person. Or, you could just set it off between two linebreaks (without having read your book I'd favor that, myself.)

----------------------

Incidentally, Person is first, second, or third.

Tense is past, present, or future.

Voice is active or passive.

(Aspect is perfect or imperfect, but let's not go there.)

---------------------

I'm learning a lot more by actually writing.

That's the way it works.

The best way to learn to write a novel is by writing a novel. (The dreadful realization comes later: All you've learned how to do is write that novel. The next novel has something else entirely to teach you.)

-----------------------

To:

Author
c/o Publishing House
Where Their Book
Is Published.

It's polite to include an SASE.

----------------------

From my own Circle of Magic, a scene begins: Randal dreamed, and knew that he was dreaming....

=========

Other unusual dream sequences: Alice in Wonderland is one long dream sequence.

One of the reasons that Wes Craven had a hard time selling Nightmare on Elm Street was that it started with a dream sequence (dream sequences in general were out of fashion at the time). As that movie progresses, the dream sequences become more frequent, and more seamlessly intertwined with the real-world action (particularly after the main character realizes what's going on and tries to keep from sleeping at all, then starts having hypnagogic hallucinations) until at the end the dream world and the waking world become one.

Really, A Nightmare on Elm Street (the first one) is a masterful use of dream sequences.

------------------

Speaking only from my personal experience, I was contractually-required to provide an author photo (taken at my own expense) for the book. Maybe my agent could have gotten that struck from the contract, but it wasn't a fight I wanted to have.

For me, I've only had the contractural requirement for an author photo a couple of times, and the photo wasn't always used.

Also, I had my first signing this past weekend at San Diego Comic-Con (actually, I had two). I suspect it was very different from the usual signing experience, since I was told where to be and when, and I had no other responsibilities besides bringing a pen I liked.

Being told where to be, at what time, and only bringing a pen, has been my usual experience.

Since the early days (and some notable disasters) I've taken to doing a little bit more: I send press releases with cover flats to local newspapers a month before the signings are scheduled, because I have no faith in bookstores' ability to do any publicity at all.

It was nice to meet people who were about to read the book (not fans, since I was signing ARCs and no one had a chance to read it yet but the bookstore staff) but I wasn't prepared for the number of people who asked for advice breaking in to publishing.

That's pretty common. The second most-asked question (after "Where are the bathrooms?") is "How can I be a writer?" (and the ever popular "How much did you pay to get published?")

If I'd had my wits about me, I'd have directed them here.

There's always next time.

-----------------------

No photo, no biographical information, nothing. I thought that very strange.

Not that strange.

Perhaps in non-fiction it's true that "to sell the book first you have to sell the author," but over here in the world of novels that advice is, in a word, bullshit.

--------------------

The way to handle fanmail is to write a reply right then.

--------------------

I think you said somewhere, Jim, that the double-spaced typescript and the finished book will equate in number of pages,

I don't think I said that, because it's not true. The book's length in pages will be whatever the book's designer wants it to be.

----------------------

Euclid, I have two assignments for you: First, take a Ken Follett novel. Go through it with an orange Hi-liter and high-light each plot turn. Put a yellow Post-It note flag on each of those pages so that it protrudes from the top of the book.

Close the book. Look at the flags. Then read over the high-lighted text.

Also:

Do the 2006 Christmas Challenge.

I hope you like it.

Meanwhile:

Y'all know the three-point-plot outline:

1.) Get the hero up a tree.
2.) Throw rocks at him.
3.) Get him out of the tree.

And the seven-point plot outline:

1). Introduce the main/viewpoint character
2). Present him with a problem.
3). In a particular setting.
4). The character tries to solve the problem...
5). And fails.
6). The character tries to solve the problem again...
7). And receives validation.

Well, here's a very detailed working-out of those general plot outlines:

http://www.miskatonic.org/dent.html

Y'all can try writing a story based on that plot outline as your Christmas Challenge. As always, the challenge is to actually submit the story you wrote to an appropriate paying market.

The Post Office is closed on Christmas, and the mail is nuts in the days before ... shall we say the deadline for mailing your completed story (in accordance with the market's guidelines) is 26 December?

(If you finish your story early, lay it aside and give it a final read-through-and-polish on Christmas Day.)

I think those two exercises will answer your questions.

(I took the Christmas Challenge myself. The resulting story was published, and will be reprinted here (http://14theditch.livejournal.com/285693.html).)

Next assignment for everyone, under the classification of The Unspeakable Horror of the Literary Life: find the story of Ken Follett and Heist of the Century (http://www.ken-follett.com/bibliography/the_heist_of_the_century.html). Think: If this sort of thing can happen to Ken Follett, just imagine what sort of nastiness can happen to me.

--------------------

1. I will find a Ken Follett thriller and do as you suggest, when the library opens tomorrow.

The library won't take kindly to your highlighting the text. I suggest you find a used paperback somewhere.

2. I've printed out and read Lester Dent's Pulp Paper Master Fiction Plot.

- Can this scheme be applied to a 100,000 word book?

If you're doing a plot turn every 4-6 pages, yes.

- What exactly is Pulp?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulp_magazine

3. I don't have the time resources to complete the second exercise (not right now, anyhow). Besides, I doubt that I could do it.You don't have the time or resources to write a short story? I wrote mine over the course of four days. Longhand. In a notebook. In a moving vehicle. (Which I wasn't driving.)

4. I read Ken Follett's web page on The Heist of the Century. I noticed that the book was not a novel. I assume it was non-fiction.Yes.

That wasn't the lesson I was attempting to draw.

The last Ken Follett novel I read was Lie Down With Lions Rise Up With Fleas, a book that featured pretty much every fluid a human body can produce. I kept wondering where the light was coming from to allow our hero to see what he's seeing.

-----------------------

I assume he means 4-6 pages of the book as published.

That isn't an assumption that I'd make.

Follett is a writer. He thinks in terms of writing, not of publishing or reading. He's of an age to have learned to write on a typewriter.

I'd assume that he means every 4-6 typescript pages. And since he learned on a typewriter, that's Courier 10 or 12, with one-inch margins all around.

Euclid, all this reading-of-how-to-books and trying to figure out how-many-manuscript-pages-to-the-typeset-page has a name: It's called "Writing Avoidance Behavior." Stop it. Any time you aren't writing you aren't writing.

Go. Write something.

--------------------

Double-spaced??

Yes, double-spaced.

Now I'm looking for guidance from the experts on how to do this even better.

You want to do it better?

Put this book in a desk drawer and write an entire new novel (not a sequel). Something entirely different.

When you've done that, and only then, are you allowed to re-read this book that you've now edited 16 times.

Or, instead of sticking it in a desk-drawer, start submitting it. Either way, you aren't allowed to change a single comma in it unless/until the new book is finished.

Commencing right now.

-------------------

Euclid, if you're enjoying what you're doing, more power to you.

---------------------

Our novels are commercial art. There's equal emphasis on both words: Art, true. But also an item of commerce.

Here we see an author riding both art and commerce:

http://www.sff.net/people/yog/zorro.jpg

(Gracias al Sr. Zorro.)

-------------------------

The thought of re writing one of my favorite authors first chapters is like sacrilege.

No, Kerry. Not re-writing it. Retyping it. Word-for-word. Just the way it appears in the printed book.

The point of the exercise is to get the feeling of the words into your hands and your arms and your shoulders. Just like a painter copies the great masters. Just like a musician learns the music of the greatest composers. Writing is as physical as music or painting.

Later, you'll write your own works. Later, the painter will create her own canvases. Later the musician will play his own riffs. But for right now, just get the feeling of the sentence rhythms of a master writer, of the paragraph lengths, of the words and the letters and the punctuation.

That's what we're doing here.

-------------------

Sure, if someone said "I wrote that piece because my kid needed to go to the dentist" you'd be clued in, but otherwise, it'd be impossible to tell.

Even then it's difficult to tell. A writer I know is one of the most fanatic craftsmen imaginable. He agonizes over every word, writes and re-writes, outlines, plots, researches minute and arcane details, argues with editors and copyeditors ... you'd think he was a jeweler working on the Koh-i-noor.

But the affect he shows to the public is "Hey, I'm a hack. I'm out to get your beer money!"

Why? Nickle-a-throw psychoanalysis is always tricky, but I think it's to lessen the sting if people don't like his offerings.

Writers tell stories. It's what we do. We even tell stories about ourselves.

Yet more rules for writing:

First Florence King, on porno guidelines (http://books.google.com/books?id=0bf97kCBSUAC&pg=PA169&lpg=PA169&dq=%22Florence+King%22+oleaginous&source=bl&ots=meZW4W9HTp&sig=PpoK-hOdNRqyMhenWk7JsTnzIwU&hl=en&ei=ATd4SsC_FcyltgepleWWCQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5#v=onepage&q=&f=false).

Next, Robert Heinlein's Rules for Writing (http://www.gazetteofthearts.com/writer3.htm). (Astoundingly enough, from an address he gave at the US Naval Academy.)

The Florence King bit is recycled from her earlier essay, "Confessions of a Lady Pornographer, " (Penthouse, September 1973), which doesn't seem to be reprinted, collected, or otherwise available anywhere. The original was longer, more useful, and well-worth searching out.

-------------------

Doyle and I will be heading up to WorldCon on Friday. Our schedules are here (http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/).

------------------

Hey, I enjoy it all. Every minute. And tomorrow will be even better!

------------------

"Said" words ... the word "said" itself is invisible. The other said word are spices. You want spices or the food is bland, but too much and the food is inedible.

That's where the art comes in. Your style, your choice.

-------------------

An amusing toy:

http://www.literature-map.com/audrey+niffenberger.html

http://www.literature-map.com/stephen+king.html

http://www.literature-map.com/dan+brown.html

http://www.literature-map.com/michael+crichton.html

----------------

Girl Genius, a web-comic mentioned above, won a Hugo last night.

----------------

Page 391 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=391)
08-10-09

James D. Macdonald

12-14-2009, 01:09 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1
Page 392 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=392)
08-14-09

------------------------

There may be many ways to express it, but none of them are "wrong" so long as you're consistent and the reader isn't confused.

As to older writing being better, that's one of the reasons I suggest you age your current effort in a desk drawer for a few months before editing it. You'd be surprised how much leaving it aside for a bit improves the writing.

-----------------------

If you read in a story that a healer's assistant pulled out a black vial, what thoughts would come up?

The thoughts that you, as the author, wanted to come up.

-----------------------

Or, it was black because whatever was inside is light-sensitive. Or, it was black because they were all out of red vials at the store that morning. Or, it was black because black vials are a trademark of Frank Black's Soothing Syrup (one for man, two for beast, good for what ails you!) Or, it was black because that's the color-code for 5 dram vials. (10 dram vials are light blue; 15 dram vials are green.) Or, it was black because it was a sample (not for resale).

Better to ask why it's a vial rather than a phial.

-------------------

"The Black Vial?" Master Filbin asked.

"Yes. It seems needful."

"Waste of perfectly good Fly-spite." The master picked up a pillow and waggled it at his assistant. "If all you want to do is kill the daft bugger, this works just as well. Cheaper and faster, and no awkward explanations if someone sees you carrying it."

---------------------

If you're planning to get into writing to make money ... don't. The money is small and slow. There are faster and easier ways.

If you love writing and discover (to your shock and amazement) that they pay you (enough to live on, hurrah!), then you never have to work a day in your life.

(Though you will constantly wonder if your editors, your publishers, the critics, and your readers will suddenly see through you and realize that you're just faking it.)

My first advice to anyone who wants to become a full-time writer would be to pay all their credit cards down to zero, then cut them up.

Here's what it's like: Imagine you had a job where you're told that the annual salary would be somewhere between zero and a million dollars. And that salary would be divided into not-necessarily-equal parts, and each part put into an envelope to be delivered at the rate of one a day. Each envelope would contain either all, some, or none of your salary, and you wouldn't know what each day would bring until the mail came.

Plus there's no vacation time, no sick days, no insurance, and you have to pay double the social security that anyone else pays. Oh, and you have to work nights, weekends, and holidays. And your boss will know if you're slacking.

Who the heck would want a job like that?

There's a TV show called Castle, starring Nathan Fillion. Mr. Fillion portrays a writer.

Do not believe for a moment that that's what a writer's life is like. Not. Not, not, not, not, not.

I saw a wonderful cartoon strip once, showing the life of a writer. In the first several panels the writer is sitting in front of his computer going tap*tap*tap*tap. The only changes from panel to panel are the hands on the wall clock, the location of the cat, and the level in the coffee pot. In the last panel it's later that night and the writer is in a bar. A beautiful young lady is saying, "You're a writer?! That must be so exciting!"

This too is unrealistic: There aren't any beautiful buxom young ladies, either.

-------------------

There's one nice touch in Castle: Our writer-protagonist's screen-saver flashes YOU SHOULD BE WRITING.

-------------------

Ah, yes, the Young Creamies, who want to show you their ... manuscripts. (Repeatedly, in a variety of positions.)

They only turn up if you're married and not interested. If you're young, good looking, single, and a writer ... not a one in sight.

Important safety tip (NOT from personal experience, but I know a guy it happened to....): If you give your wife an STD, she won't have a sense of humor about it.

I recall an editor who had a Beautiful Young Lady come up to him and say, "I'd do anything to sell a book."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Write a good manuscript."

---------------------

But there are never any dashing Cary Grant types cooing over our amazing prose.

Yeah. Doyle keeps complaining about the scarcity of sun-bronzed oiled surfers among the groupie contingent.

---------------------

Name some!

Pizza delivery man. Valet Parking Attendant. Bank clerk. Bartender. Grave digger. Auto mechanic. Major league baseball star. (Yes, there are more people making a full time living playing professional sports than there are people making a full time living writing fiction. Think about that.)

Anything in the world which, if you start today, has a paycheck on Friday.

-----------------------

A useful agent has sold books that you've heard of.

-----------------------

Can I release all of these under my own name?

You can. Whether you want to is something you should discuss with your agent, your editor, and the publisher's marketing people.

Will the folks who read one of your books, on picking up the next one with the same author's name on, it be disappointed? That's the question.

----------------------

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they go by."

Deadlines can concentrate the mind wonderfully, but they're also draining.

I keep saying to myself that from now on I'm going to write the book first then sell it, but the need for ready cash keeps making me sell the books on spec. If I ever get far enough ahead....

-----------------------

So you're just constantly writing to pay the bills?

Well, yeah. That's what being a full-time professional author means.

It's my job.

-------------------------

Living paycheck-to-paycheck is remarkably settled and predictable compared with freelancing.

But, my house is completely paid off, I've put two kids through college (with a third in college right now), and I can do pretty much anything I please.

If you're looking for predictable income (either in amount or timing), this isn't the job for you.

Your writers who are living on writing are mostly middle class, with all the same problems of any other middle-class wage slave. Sure, there are some superstars. Very few.

Same with all the creative arts. You have a few movie stars who could, if they wanted, take what they earned on their last film and live comfortably for the rest of their lives on that. But most actors have to keep working if they want to keep eating.

Royalties are nice, but unpredictable. It's good to be able to write three-and-an-outline and get multiple-thousands for it, but then you have to go and write the book. Including days when you aren't inspired. Including days when you loathe the book. Including days when you want to do something else instead.

Always assume that your on-signing money is the only money you'll ever see for any given project. (And yes, it's possible to write a novel faster than a publisher can write a check.) I've mentioned, from time to time, the slings and arrows that face the writer? That's one of 'em.

When I talk about having to do your BIC every day, I'm trying to prepare you for that day when you, too, become a full-time author. Get the habits now. You'll need 'em. And always improve, because if you aren't going up, you're going down.

------------------

A first-timer can sell 5K in hardcover and another 20K in paperback. Really, that's not outside the realm of belief at all.

Depending on your genre, and depending on your market, and depending on the way the dice fall.

The advance is figured on how much the publisher thinks the total royalties of the book is going to be. Usually they're right. Let's see: $25 hardcover, 15%, 5K copies.... $18,750. $7.00 paperback, 8% royalties, 20,000 copies, another $11,200. $29,950 advance (call it $30K). Divided into three payments of $10K each, 15% to your agent, 20% to Uncle Sam...

What's a writer to do?

Answer: Two books per year.

If anyone knew how to make a book a best-seller, then every book would be a best-seller. And you're relying on the public. They're fickle, and unpredictable. So, have fun with the writing. That's the thing that is under your control.

-----------------

I totally love my main characters (and my minor characters too). They're real to me, they come and visit ... it's fun.

And I think up new adventures for them.

One thing that I do at the end of every book is write a final chapter that doesn't appear in the draft the editor gets: a cast party for the characters. Where they get to wear loud Hawaiian shirts, drink too much, do inappropriate things, and fall into the pool. And the party always ends with the characters having a toast: "Here's to the author! Without him we'd all be out of a job!"

(Oh, and when a book gets started, I have my characters come and audition for their roles. It's fun. Okay, it's insane. But it's still fun.)

------------------

That's having your priorities in order.

------------------

Do you pause for breath when you verbalize in your mind? Does unconscious alliteration leap out at you? Does the repetition of certain words and phrases become obvious to you?

-----------------

I long-ago decided that when I stopped having fun doing anything that I'd stop doing it that same day.

-----------------

If something is keeping you from writing -- put it aside.

Why are you using the thesaurus? Is it a way to turn avoid composition?

Try this: When you're convinced the word isn't quite right, just type a near-enough word, then type XXX then continue with the composition.

For the last twenty minutes of the day, search on XXX with your Thesaurus in hand.

(Oh, and when you bring out your thesaurus, bring out your dictionary too: make sure you know what the words mean. Really sure. Once I was reading some unpublished fantasy, and came to a bit where our hero had just met a young lady, and ... put a medallion on her cervix. I knew instantly what had happened. The author had wanted a fancy-sounding word for 'neck.' And 'cervix' does, indeed, mean 'neck.' As in 'cervical vertebrae.' But, generally speaking, one doesn't get near a beautiful young lady's cervix until you and she are very good friends.)

--------------------

Speaking of writing-avoidance behavior...

I have 1,500 words to go on a short story. So what am I doing right now? Defragging the hard drive on my working computer!

(I'm posting this from the laptop. Yeah, I could write it over here, but ... oh, okay....)

-------------------
"Tears" is perfectly acceptable, I think. Why would you need a synonym?

---------------

Welcome, ziedinc.

I've recommended a number of books over the course of this thread. Here's a collection of some of them. (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/UncleJim.html) (I haven't updated it lately but this does cover the first half of the thread.)

-------------------

Jim, do you have a working link to your comments on "that silly Salon article" (the tragedy of the midlist author one)?

Page 32 and following in this thread. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=32

You can use Google better than the (poor, broken) search function that comes with this site. Use site:absolutewrite.com "Uncle Jim" then whatever term you're looking for.

------------------

Yes, that's alliteration. Yes, you should consider changing it.

Why doesn't your thunderstorm serve a function? Every word needs to either support the theme, reveal character, or advance the plot.

If your subconscious is trying to support the theme with this storm, look to see where else that theme might trying to break through.

------------------

The theme of the book revolves around the excesses of the Nazi regime, so I suppose there's a gloomy, stormy feel to the whole thing. Not sure what you mean about the theme trying to break through... Or what I should do about it if I did locate these occurrences.

Sharpen, focus, and unify them.

Why should I change the unintentional alliteration? What harm is it doing?

Why should you make your prose the best and most polished that you can? Why should you remove or change clumsy bits? I dunno. You tell me.

-------------------

When is it a good idea to use (intentional) alliteration?

Here is an example:

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher. You are writing a 100,000 word poem. Every word must be there for the right reason, including its sound. You might want to read "The Philosophy of Composition" (http://xroads.virginia.edu/%7EHYPER/poe/composition.html) by Edgar Allan Poe (http://encarta.msn.com/encyclopedia_761568650/edgar_allan_poe.html) for more thoughts on this. It's short.

I first read that essay when I was in high school, and it influenced me deeply. Poe, himself, was a great literary innovator. You could have worse models.

Just in case you've not read The Raven (http://www.heise.de/ix/raven/Literature/Lore/TheRaven.html), here it is.

Read it silently, then read it aloud. See how different the experience is.

--------------------

The copyright laws then were not as they are now, which is a big part of why Poe died in poverty. (He made $9, total, from "The Raven.")

but Poe was also the fellow who loved to plagiarize,

What do you base that on?

--------------------

E. A. Poe, Flamewarrior (http://www.eapoe.org/works/criticsm/bj45lh03.htm). Newpaper letter columns were the messageboards of the day.

The subject is plagiarism.

------------------

Prose that's too polished tends to be a bit stale and boring.

Stale and boring prose is not, of its nature, polished.

-----------------------

Anyways... what suggestions would you have?

Memorize a whole bunch of Shakespeare. Recite it aloud to inanimate objects (although cattle will do if no inanimate objects present themselves), preferably out of doors, in a loud voice.

People may start avoiding you, but your prose will become much more vivid.

-----------------------

The Dreadful Secret Revealed (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/011593.html#364695)

-----------------------

Because it draws attention to the words. If you want to draw attention to the words, that's okay. If you don't, it's not so okay.

Alliteration can also produce effects. If you want to produce the effect of silken curtains swishing, that's okay. If there isn't a silken curtain in a hundred miles, that's not so okay.

"Take care of the sounds and the sense will take care of itself."

-----------------------

The thread continues in Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 2 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203).

Please see also:

Index to the Learn Writing with Uncle Jim Thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8754)

Uncle Jim, undiluted (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7987)

-----------------------

Page 398 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=398)
09-07-09

-----------------------

Here Endeth Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

James D. Macdonald

12-14-2009, 02:47 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 2
Page 1 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203)
09-03-09

------------------------------

It strikes me that there's a need for a thread on the art and craft of writing commercial novels.

To that end, I'd like to start that discussion. I plan to put down my thoughts on the elements of professional-quality fiction. I'll answer questions, and go where ever the discussion leads. I'll do some notes on the business of writing too.

Here are my qualifications for starting this topic:

My bibliography (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/biblio.htm)

A workshop (http://www.sff.net/paradise/) I help teach every year.

My mutant talent is to make my opinions sound like facts.

=============

I have two basic rules: everything that's said should be true, and everything should be helpful.

=============

There's one other thing that needs to be said, McIntyre's First Law: Under the right circumstances anything I tell you can be wrong.

----------------------------

Why are you asking me about sentence fragments?

The smallest unit of meaning in the English language is the paragraph.

The question is more properly asked in Share Your Work, as part of an entire chapter.

-------------

I'm certain that someone, somewhere, wrote that a person sat under a mangrove tree. People write a lot of things. I haven't read all of those things, nor have I memorized everything that I've read.

-----------------------

Euclid, I've already recommended Mark Twain's Rules of Writing (http://www.mamohanraj.com/Writing/twain.html). I'm going to recommend them again.

----------------------

In my present WIP there are so many details what I'd like to write into it... or I already did, but unfortunately that made the story to very long (Really long).

Have you gotten all the way to THE END?

Have you aged it for a month or three in your desk drawer?

There isn't a mechanical solution to your question. What you have is your art. And I certainly can't answer your question without reading your work. Beta readers (after you're at second or third draft at least) might be able to comment with details.

---------------

If you did, what would the first line of your query sound/look like?

I'm particularly unqualified to answer that question, since I've never in my life written a query letter.

I've written cover letters (for short stories), but never query letters.

There are many career paths in this profession.

------------------

I will say that a back-cover-blurb type paragraph is particularly hard to write. My reason for saying this is: I make a small part of my living from writing cover blurbs for other people's novels (publishers hire me to do this; I make about a buck a word to do it). Most back-cover-blurbs written by authors are awful. Inept market-speak is dreadful. And the purpose of a back-cover blurb (to induce a reader to carry the book to the cash register) is different from the purpose of a query.

I've had to do tons of synopses for various novels. These have ranged from one page, to ten pages, to (on one occasion) thirty pages. (And that one was written in one day, and had the folks from the art department at the publisher singing one of the songs* from the synopsis. But that's a story to tell over a beer somewhere.)

One cover letter I once wrote read, in full: "Roses are red/ Violets are blue/ Here is a story / I'm sending to you."

Don't try this at home, kids. I already knew the editor on a personal basis, but (up until then) not on a professional one. (He did buy the story.)

-----------

* ("Did you really put a song in a synopsis?" "Yes, I did.")

--------------------------

Care to enlighten?

Okay, the way it worked:

There I was in the Republic of Panama, with my rich uncle, Sam. And one time (after having entirely too much fun with a disease called leptospirosis) I wound up in Gorgas hospital, and after that I had two weeks of convalescent leave. (This was the period that Doyle calls "Our worst Christmas ever.")

So, anyway, while I was home on leave....

Well, back up for a moment. There I was in the Republic of Panama, and all the science fiction books were imported by just one importer, Servicio Lewis, and they only got a new shipment once a month, and it wasn't a great selection. So after reading them all there'd be three weeks or so until the next selection. So, in order to have stories of the kind we liked to read, Doyle and I started writing our own, for each other. (The other choices on base were alcoholism, adultery, and amateur theatricals. Writing science fiction seemed sort of a better choice all the way around.)

.... home on leave, I typed up a story about werewolves. This wasn't really a random choice, we knew about an open anthology with the theme "werewolves." So I wrote a story, then Doyle worked it over, then I played with it some, and eventually we sent it off.

And one afternoon while I was down on the boats, Doyle got an international long-distance phone call from the editor saying that a) she wanted to buy the story, and b) it was 8,000 words too long, could we cut it?

So, we did. The story was eventually published and was the lead story in the anthology. (The two places you want to be in any anthology are either the first story, or the last story. Those are the positions of power. That's where the editors put their strongest works.)

Anywho...from there, one fine day while attending a conference, Doyle was approached by an editor from a packager. You have to understand that packagers are folks who are very much like those annoying folks who come up to you and say, "I have a great idea for a book! You write it and we'll share the money!" Except, packagers really do have the money. And they've already sold the idea to a publisher. All they have to do is find the authors. And they trawl through anthologies and such places looking for young authors who've made one or two sales (so they know they can write on a professional level) and pitching them on writing a fast novel. So, we agreed to do this. I figure it was like an intensive course on How To Write A Novel, working with a real editor, and, as an added bonus, they paid us. In advance. Those books came out from Ballantine, under a pseudonym.

I was still in the Fleet at this time. Doyle was living back in the USA by then.
Then the editor asked if maybe we had something else? So we pulled out a bunch of letters that Doyle and I had written to each other (being at sea makes you a real letter-writer) where we'd been just telling stories to each other in a sorta medieval world. These were titled, in our letters, "Yet Another Scene."

We whipped those into shape as the Circle of Magic series, and the packager loved 'em, and they're still in print. At that point we got an agent. Which wasn't too hard to do with two novels in print and a contract for six more in our pocket.

By then I was out of the Navy and living with Doyle in Manchester, New Hampshire. And we figured that if we were going to be writers now was the time to do it, because otherwise I'd have to find a job. So we took a bunch of stories we'd written in Panama, and which had just been lying there (on Atari 5.25" disks) and cobbled them together into a novel. They'd aged around four years by then, and we'd written eight novels (mostly short YA novels, but still), so we'd had a bit of practice, and we put it together and polished it up.

And I mentioned on the Science Fiction RoundTable on GEnie (anyone remember GEnie?) that we'd just finished a novel. And Patrick Nielsen Hayden (who I'd never met, or even heard of at that point), an editor at Tor, wrote and said, "Don't let your agent send your book to anyone before she sends it to me."

So, he read it, and offered to buy it, but only if we wrote two more books in the series. So, I quickly came up with two more plot summaries, about 250 words each, and Tor bought it. It wasn't published as frontlist, or backlist, or midlist, it was published as an "off-list special." And the first printing sold out in the first month, they went back to press, and that book eventually had seven or eight printings.

So we sold what was the first Mageworlds book, and the two sequels turned into four, then six ... and meanwhile, it was up to our agent to sell books, not us. Which all worked out pretty well. The werewolf short story was never reprinted, but it did turn into the first chapter of a YA horror novel, which eventually turned into a trilogy.

The short story didn't need anything more than a cover letter, and from that point on it was editors asking us, not the other way around. (Something about being Locus Bestsellers with every book we wrote probably had something to do with that.)

So that's why we've never written a query letter.

-----------------------

We totally love what we do, and it's by lucky chance that we get paid (and not too badly, if I say so myself) to do it.

Something that I think helped was that we weren't writing to please ourselves, we were writing to please another person. I was writing to amuse Doyle, and she was writing to amuse me. We had a specific audience in mind.

And the first Mageworlds stories were written to please not only us, but a friend who lived in California and was having a bit of a rough time. We'd send ten pages every week, ending each one with a cliffhanger.

And ... you know about Mary Sue, right? Suppose you write a Mary Sue but the Mary Sue isn't you? Those stories featured the adventures of a young lady who was sort of an idealized and way-competent and adventuresome version of our friend. We were writing a Mary Sue for her. And eventually we gave our heroine a boyfriend who wasn't unlike our friend's husband. And they had adventures together. And it was all good.

I think that may have had something to do with the books selling pretty well. They were written for someone. A story isn't anything without the reader.

Oh, and Doyle and I would sit around the kitchen gossiping about our characters. So that one day our elder daughter (then in Jr. High) asked, when coming home from school and walking into such a discussion, "Are you talking about someone I know, or is this just someone you made up?"

We know lots of things about our characters that don't show up in the books.

------------------

Minor brag: Nora here was one of my students at Viable Paradise some years back: http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/jemisin_09_09/

------------------------

This is the continuation of Learn Writing with Uncle Jim (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710).

As the original thread approached 10,000 posts (and six years!) it had grown a bit long and cumbersome; slow to load and a drag on system resources every time it loaded. (With over a million views, that's significant.)

So, here we are.

I earnestly entreat everyone to read the entire thread, in order, starting from the very beginning. There's lots there; exercises and advice and my philosophy of commercial writing.

Please see also:

Index to the Learn Writing with Uncle Jim Thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8754)

Uncle Jim, undiluted (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7987)

---------------------

"Purple prose" is excessively ornate, complex, and overburdened with modifiers. This can refer to anything from a short bit up to the entire work.

At the point where the readers notice the prose rather than what the prose is attempting to convey, you may be in purple territory.

Snow was falling when Mr Earbrass woke, which suggested he open TUH with the first flakes of what could be developed into a prolonged and powerfully purple blizzard. On paper, if not outdoors, they have kept coming down all afternoon, over and over again, in all possible ways; and only now, at nightfall, have done so satisfactorily. For writing Mr Earbrass affects an athletic sweater of forgotten origin and unknown significance; it is always worn hind-side-to.-- The Unstrung Harp; or, Mr Earbrass Writes a Novel (http://books.google.com/books?id=uQe2a18Ly6wC&pg=PT17&lpg=PT17&f=false#v=onepage&q=&f=false)

You can also think of purple prose as, "Hey, look, ma! I'm writing!"

As you can imagine, what is actually "purple" is entirely a matter of taste: "I write vivid descriptions. You write flowery passages. He writes purple prose."

You'll get a fair amount of dissenting opinion (not from me) in the current "write for self or write to publish" thread.

Writing for oneself is an entirely legitimate thing to do.

This thread, however, is all about writing to be published. Commercial fiction.

-----------------

It's all art, but unless it's entertaining there aren't going to be any readers.

------------------

Doyle chimes in: "Purple prose is what you get when you mix red prose and blue prose."

------------------

See Tarzan, the Jungle Lord, leap panther-like from a nearby tree to save Jane from Dick. See Jane remonstrate, the well-bred tones of upper-class Baltimore society rounding her vowels, as she attempts to save Dick from Tarzan. See Dick scream in terror as Tarzan pulls back his head to present his throat to N'buma, the keen knife of the hunter! See Tarzan hesitate, the natural nobility of the English Lord causing him to pause before needlessly taking the life of a fellow human! See Jane, eyes welling with tears, turn away, lest she see Dick, her long-lost brother, suffer the fate of Sabor the huge lioness. See Tarzan relent, and, offering his hand in friendship to Dick, help him to his feet! See Dick, with that open candor that so characterizes the American working man, take Tarzan's hand in his own, his strong grip and manly visage proclaiming that he, too, possesses the nobility of purpose that so fills the sons of Anglo-Saxon heritage! See the great bull ape, Usota, looking from beneath the dark jungle foliage, evil plans of vengeance upon the Jungle Lord and his friends filling his cunning animal mind!

--------------------

What are some ways to bring a quiet, reserved character to life?

Without reading your book? Dunno.

What do the other beta readers say?

In general: Tragic flaws, wants and needs, bits of business.

-----------------

In other news:

Tell your story to the whole world (http://adayontheplanet.com/en/yourday)

Your story must be about something your experienced yourself on 09.09.09

500 words on 09/09/09

---------------------

Hi Uncle Jim
I would very much like your opinion on a thread I followed last night. "How do you know if you have talent?" Since you are a successful writer and teach workshops I would be interested in what your thoughts are on this question. Would you advise only your talented students to pursue a writing career? Would you also encourage the ones who have passion to write but not a lot of talent. Have you had students in your workshops that made it and went on to have successful writing careers through perseverance but not a great deal of talent. I fall into the second group I fear, but if there is hope for us who lack talent but have passion and love for the craft of writing, I will carry on.
Thanks
Jane

As it happens, I'd already commented (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4016660&postcount=39) in that thread:

How do you know you have talent as a writer?
You don't.

Even after you have a dozen books in print you're still convinced that at any moment your readers, your editors, the reviewers, the publishers, your family and friends will suddenly realize that you don't have any talent and you've been faking it all along.

If talent, some kind of innate quality that some people have and others don't, is all that it takes, then I'm wasting my time trying to teach people to write.

Talent, whatever you mean by the word, is over-rated. Work, thought, practice, and perseverance are far more important. Fortunately, they're under your control. Talent isn't.

Do you want to look like you have talent? Practice until your fingers bleed. People will say, "Woo! You're talented!"

Only you will know the truth.

----------------

If every weather report in a piece of fiction specifically functions thematically/characteristically/plottastically, do we not fall afoul of the Pathetic Fallacy?

No.

The Pathetic Fallacy is assigning human emotions to inanimate objects (e.g. the angry clouds).

I'm suggesting making all the details point in one direction (e.g. the green light on the pier in East Egg in The Great Gatsby, as opposed to a white light, a red light, or not mentioning a light at all.)

-------------------

The only reason I read and study writing is because I believe I am talented.

The person with preternaturally good eyesight may find it easier to become a marksman. This is good. But it is not sufficient.

Did someone start half-way up the ladder? Excellent! But that doesn't mean that climbing is unnecessary.

-------------------

Once one has a grasp of the mechanics of writing, and feels they are writing mostly clean prose, what aspects of the inner workings of the industry should one learn first (other than how to write a query)?

I'm not sure there are any that you need to know. Pay attention to the publisher's colophon on the books you read. Not all publishing houses are the same. Developing an appreciation for the strengths (and distribution!) of the various publishers may help you decide where to query and submit.

Are there specific sources of information that will aid one in understanding the various major and some of the minor publishers? The act of "learning the publishing world" seems overwhelmingly businesslike. I flounder here.

What are the most influential business-savvy things to learn about the publishing world?

Printing is not publishing. If publicity worked any less well or less often no one would bother with it at all. And don't be an idiot with money. Treat every nickel as if it were the last you're ever going to get.

And how much do you actually HAVE to know versus what an agent handles for you?

You don't have to know anything more than who the good agents are. And you have to read widely (but you're doing that anyway, right?) You ought to know enough to know if the agent is screwing you over.

Only curious as I still haven't got a clue about the folks who buy and sell my work. (I suspect I should fix this.)

The readers buy your work. The rest is interesting, but not entirely necessary.

----------------

I just finished my story for this project.

Go, you! To be a writer, write.

----------------

If talent starts you part-way up the ladder, remember that the ladder is infinitely high.

----------------

Which leads me to wonder why your womenfolk have to cry or weep so often...

It's because their husbands are old and can no longer dance.

---------------------

8,000 words? That's 32 pages. That's six hours' typing if all you can manage is 20 words per minute.

Sit down. Rewrite it from memory. It'll be better. Promise.

Robert Louis Stevenson re-wrote Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde from memory. You can do the same sort of thing.

--------------------

Oh, goodness. There are horror stories. Editors hiding in the men's room to escape authors with manuscripts. Authors following the editors into the men's rooms to give them their manuscripts.

No, you don't have to to the Used Car Salesman thing.

Editors don't want to go home with six hundred pounds of manuscripts in their luggage. If they're interested in something you've written, they'll ask you to send it to them at their work address when you get home.

So, how do you get them interested? By being yourself. Talk about what you're interested in. Be interesting. If someone remembers you as the smart, funny guy who could hold up his end of a conversation and paid attention to what others thought and said ... that's good.

You might carry business cards. What does a business card have on it? As little as possible. Your name and contact information, and the whole back clean, white, and blank to write down the subject you were just talking about. Get their business cards, and a couple of days later, drop them a note saying, "I met you at _____ where we talked about ____. Is _____ still open?" or whatever. Business cards are not laser-cutout, embossed-and-foiled, full-color representations of what you'd like the cover of your first book to look like, with your name in 36-point Post-Crypt font printed in scarlet enamel under the step-back, with instructions for making a working origami helicopter printed on the back.

"Hey, how's it goin'?" will get you a lot farther than "Let me tell you about my booooook!"

Be yourself, be natural, be interested in others, be interesting on your own, and listen to the shop-talk. You will learn much.

------------------

I just got the image of some poor guy standing on the toilet, sweating, and mumbling "Go away, go away, go away," while an author is waving her manuscript over the door, "Read it, it's great, it's the new Harry Potter, I SWEAR!"

That is lots closer to the reality than you think.

------------------

Do different genres follow different trends?

All genres (including "literary," which is just another damn genre) have their own conventions, their own reading protocols, their own assumptions.

That's why you're constantly reading new works in your favorite genre.

Would it be wrong to stick to what you're comfortable with?

Why would this ever be wrong? (Other than that you aren't growing new writerly muscle.)

Or learn the new trend?

Why not? Play with everything you know. How can it be wrong? Professional magicians may have a favorite card force, but they know a dozen different card forces in order to be able to select the best one for the circumstances. And, in case the force fails, they know another direction to take the trick so that the audience is still entertained.

Only you can decide the best way to tell your story. Your decision will be based on your experience. What you can do will be influenced by the tools you've packed into your tool box.

-------------------

For our sins, Doyle and I have been mentioned on TVTropes:

Hyperspeed Escape (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main.HyperspeedEscape)
Apocalyse How (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ApocalypseHow)
Virgin Power (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main.VirginPower)

I'm not sure whether to be pleased because it's so few, or sad because it's so few.

Pleased, because I do try to avoid cliches.
Sad, because hey, fame is nice and who doesn't want to be read and loved and quoted?

Speaking of quoted, Doyle is quoted here (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/ScienceFictionVersusFantasy). (The thing about purple prose being when you mix red and blue prose is so typically her. She's saying things like that all the time. Doyle is smart, clever, witty, fast, sharp, wicked, and has a dynamite prose style. I don't know how I got so lucky.)

------------------

From Apocalypse How (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ApocalypseHow):

In the backstory of the Mageworlds books by Debra Doyle, this happens to Entibor.

(We also had a world-destroying plague mentioned (what happened to Sapne) in The Long Hunt, and I had the traditional Seven Seals Apocalypse threatened in The Apocalypse Door.)

Waterworld has its own page (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Waterworld), as does The Road (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheRoad).

------------------

You want to write a book, Euclid? Do so. Set it anywhere, any time. Research the fudge out of it, then leave 90% of the research lying in your notes when you write (rather than on the pages of the novel where it'll make the readers suspect there'll be a quiz at the end of the chapter).

--------------------

Novels are about people.

Novels are not about places. Novels are not about objects. Novels are not about events.

Novels are about people.

-----------------

What are those sheets that some authors are doing now? Sort of like a one-page synopsis & business card... "One Sheets"? Something like that?

A one-sheet is a one-page summary. It's part of a press kit. Something short enough that a busy person can read it quickly, yet detailed enough that an interviewer can sound like he/she has read your book and won't sound like a doofus on the air.

It isn't important.

The only thing that's important is writing a good book.

---------------------

The thing to include in that good book is an opening that people won't forget.

And an ending that surprises and satisfies, and a middle that keeps them turning the pages....

----------------

Speculative fiction is science fiction wearing a three-piece suit.

Science fiction and horror are both sub-groups of fantasy.

No, fantasy need not have elves, dragons, or magic.

What is fantasy? It's what fantasy readers point at when they say, "This is Fantasy."

(At one time science fiction was what Damon Knight said was science fiction. Since Damon died no one knows what's science fiction.)

--------------------

In Case of Emergency Break Glass:

42 Essential Third-Act Twists (http://dresdencodak.com/2009/05/11/42-essential-3rd-act-twists/)

Yo, and Wayne? Don't let a manuscript sleep over. Send it out again, right now (assuming you haven't already) to the next place on your list.

It's perfectly okay to mutter the ritual phrase in the direction of the place that sent the rejection: "Your loss, guys."

------------------------

See also:

Evil Overlord Plot Generator (http://nielsenhayden.com/overlord/)

---------------------

Can I type the first chapter of a good book from a book on tape?

I wouldn't know why not.

---------------------

Okay Uncle Jim, one more question: Am I supposed to be picking up the keyboard and slamming it down an hour in? (I'm emotional)

No.

And (okay two questions) Am I supposed to feel stupid?

No. You're supposed to become enlightened. This may take time.

-------------------------

*Tweak!*

Did you pick up Magic and Showmanship yet?

----------------------

Painkillers. Definitely.

Meanwhile, just heard today that Eos has accepted our latest Civil War fantasy. So, hurrah!

They want to give it a different title from the ones we suggested. Hey, if the marketing guys think some other title will sell more copies, I'm not too proud to let 'em sell those copies.

------------------

Here's a bit from that work. (It's near the beginning. It was originally the start of chapter one, but it isn't any more.)

Kevin Mulcahey was carrying a torch in his hand when he found the dead Rebel, even though it was broad daylight.

He was alone on a road in Belmont, Missouri, the rest of his squad being likewise engaged in burning the Rebel camp; a waste of perfectly good food, thought Kevin.
But in the manner of the Army the General had told the Colonel to burn everything, the Colonel had told the Major, the Major had told the Captain, and so on until the Sergeant told Private Mulcahey, and, there being no one further to tell, the deed must be done by himself and his mates.

The Rebel wore an officer's uniform: a Major in the 11th Louisiana. He had a bullet hole in his left breast and another in his left temple. He was dead and no mistake.

This wasn't the first dead man that Kevin had ever seen and he knew exactly what to do. He approached the dead Major and made a cross on what was left of his forehead, saying "Into Thy hands I commend thy spirit."

Kevin had studied for the priesthood in Ireland before he decided that if he was going to sleep with a woman he wanted to marry her and that he was of a mind to someday sleep with a woman, and so had shipped on a packet, jumped ship in New York, and made his way to Chicago, where he made a living carving tombstones.
At the commencement of hostilities he joined the 27th Illinois Infantry for lack of better to do, which brought him eventually to this dusty road on the seventh of November of 1861.

Having given a benediction, Kevin looked more closely at the Rebel. The dead man had a sword in his right hand, the blade smeared with blood.

"Gave as good as ye got, did ye?" Kevin said, and pulled the sword from the man's grip. Then he unbuckled the swordbelt to take the scabbard and patted down the Major's pockets for tobacco or gold; either would serve.

Neither were present -- only a fistful of letters, some Confederate scrip, and naught else. Mulcahey was standing there still when Sergeant Dusselman, a Pennsylvania Dutchman who had worked in a butcher shop in Cicero until the war came along, shouted, "Mulcahey, you damned Mick! Quitcher gawkin', man, and look lively. We're pulling out. Back to the assembly, damn your eyes," then passed on along the line, shouting curses and imprecations to the others in the squad as he went. "We're on the boat out of here in jig time, damn you all, or you'll be left behind and no sorrow to me."

With that Private Mulcahey trotted off the road, put his torch to a hayrick, then headed north toward the rest of his regiment. To the south the rattle of musketry told him that the Rebels were coming again. Across the river the booming of the water battery at Columbus increased in tempo.

This is first draft. At the time I wrote that I only knew in general terms what would happen in the book. Who eventually turned out to be the main character was a complete surprise to me.

--------------------------

My favorite piece of advice is "Be teachable"

My favorite is "If it's stupid and it works, it isn't stupid."

-------------------

This will be my second.

--------------------

Are there any zombie Civil War books out there yet?

You might check out The Elopement by Joe Lansdale or History is Dead edited by Kim Paffenroth.

-----------------

What was the first Civil War Fantasy called?

I see The Confessions of Peter Crossman have a "teen" tag. Does this mean the book is YA?

No, it means that it isn't for children. Not because of sex or bad language, but because some of the concepts are complex, and there is some strong violence.

Someday you should look to see what genuine teens are reading: Regular novels. YA is more your ten/eleven/twelve year olds.

The way I think of it:

Children's is anything up to about eight years old.
Middle grades is eight/nine/ten.
Young Adult is ten/eleven/twelve.
Adult is thirteen and up.

Mostly guided by what the reader is interested in.

---------------------

Ah, thank you for that. It's been a while since I wrote actual labeled-YA/Middle Grades. And it's also been a while since my substitute-teaching days, when the eighth-graders all had King and Koontz books (the ones who didn't have sports books, that is) in their hands.

-----------------------

Battle of Belmont? Who wins this time?

The Yankees win tactically, the Confederates win strategically, but more important (from my point of view) Edward George Washington Butler dies there, and a passing Union soldier picks up his sword.

--------------------

1) 100,000 No problem
2) 125,000 Publishable
3) 150,000 Starting to be a problem
4) 175,000 Problem
5) 200,000 Probably won't happen

But, as always, there's the Genius Exception. And, regardless, you must make every word the right word.

-----------------------

For someone who has spent most of his writing career (heh) with short fiction, what are some good steps to transition to longer works?

Add more plot.

A short story has a single effect. A novel has multiple effects. That's the main difference.

I've found that regarding each chapter as a short story with its own pitfalls and arcs and such helps me visualize each step--but are there flaws in thinking of it this way?

You can wind up with an episodic and disjointed narrative, or an anthology. Rather than layering stories on top of each other like a cake, with each chapter being a short story, try slicing those short stories lengthwise and packing a part of all of them into each chapter.

Curious, as I'm notoriously bad at extending my thoughts past 3k words.

Or, it could be that you just aren't a novelist.

-----------------------

Single-author collections are hard to sell. This is because it's hard to get readers to buy them.

(Being a "contrarian" is all very well, but are there enough "contrarians" in the book-buying public to make it worthwhile to roll the presses and for bookstores to order in profitable numbers?)

The number one reason anyone buys a book is because they've read and enjoyed something else that same author has written.

That's the same reason it's hard to sell long works as first novels.

The publishers have a pretty fair idea how many copies any first novel will sell.

As the number of pages goes up, the price per unit goes up. As print runs go up, the price-per-unit goes down.

You graph those out. Do the lines cross above or below the expected sales of a first novel? If they cross below that number, there's a chance the book will get bought. If they cross above that number, it's probably not going to get bought.

Now you understand that there is a maximum price that most readers will pay (even for a long-awaited book by a favorite author). And there is a minimum price that the publisher can charge if they're going to break even, given bookstore discounts and returns.

By the time you get to a second or third novel, the publisher has a fair idea of how well you sell. Which will be different from, and (I hope) higher than, the number that a generic first-novel sells. If it's enough higher, then you can sell that longer tome.

---------------------

Uncle Jim, Does it bother you that I'm asking questions about posts you made six years ago?

ETA: I loved The Haunted Author. I'm about to start MTM, and the predator agent I found was in WD. I wish I had found this thread a year ago.

No, I don't mind (though it would be useful to put in a link to the post, so folks playing at home can follow along).

--------------------

Ah, I see, Wayne. You're up to post 87 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82374&postcount=87) in this massive thread?

--------------------

Yet another plot generator: http://wondermark.com/554/

===========

The coding for links is [ URL = "http://...." ] anchor text [ /URL ]

(Only without any spaces.)

--------------------------------

What the Mail Fairy brought:

http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/apocaplyseDoorcover_paperbackA.jpg

This is a reduced-size scan of a color photocopy, so the quality isn't all that good, but it should give you an idea. The front cover of the paperback reprint of The Apocalypse Door (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm).

This'll be out around Christmas time.

-----------------------

Talking about book covers, it amazes me how poor many book covers are nowadays.

Book covers are not meant to be representational. They are meant to be point-of-sale advertising for the book. More precisely, they are meant to signal to the reader, "This is the sort of book you like."

If vague blobs of blue and yellow send those signals, that's what's going to be on the cover.
More covers:

This is the wrap-around cover art for the (still untitled) Civil War Fantasy (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/civwar02coverA.jpg).

Two different covers for The Scarecrow (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/1409103005/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/).

Hardcover:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31at6%2BIhfiL._SL500_AA240_.jpg

Paperback:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ASkZOJNRL._BO2,204,203,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU01_.jpg

When you're a best-selling author your publisher's art and marketing departments spend a lot of time and money on your covers.

---------------------------

Michael Connelly is what's known as a Big Name Author. That is, his name is in bigger type than the book's title.

-----------------------------

How the names appear on the covers is a marketing decision, and is partly to avoid the Death Spiral (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82771&postcount=481).

-----------------------------

Writers, who needs 'em? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_igKSYspPs)

----------------------------

Uncle Jim,

I don't think I'm quite sure what deep 3rd person perspective is.

Deep third person point of view is just like third person limited, except the viewpoint character's thoughts are set in Roman rather than Italic. If you write in deep third POV, the copyeditor will come along and put the character's thoughts into whatever the house style is anyway.

Rather than worry about these tiny and theoretical varieties of POV, write your story.

If you're really fascinated (and want to put off writing), try this article: http://www.sff.net/people/alicia/arthist.htm

-------------------------

Anyway, I am wondering if my understanding of third person, and the ends of the spectrum (far to close) are correct? Thanks.

Close enough. There isn't really a hard dividing line between any of 'em. Add in third omniscient and you may well have the set.

---------------------------

If something is written like the last example above (the narrative is deeply influenced by the PoV's world view, language), should it be omniscient?

I don't see how it could be.

When you're that far over into third person you're starting to shade into a first-person narrator with a dissociative disorder.

---------------------------------

The Art of Dramatic Writing-Lajos Egri.

Never read it. Like anything else, take what works for you; leave the rest.

Don't get trapped. Reading about writing is not the same thing as actually writing.

Writing a novel will teach you more about writing novels than all the how-to guides in the world.

--------------------------------

Uncle Jim, I'm stuck on memoir writing.

You can use the novelists' techniques: 1) Keep it entertaining. 2) Start with a person in a place with a problem. 3) Keep it entertaining. 4) Don't tell the readers anything before they care. 5) Keep it entertaining. 6) End with a climax, to reward the reader for following you all this time and to let the reader know that the book is over. 6) Keep it entertaining.

I suppose you might say: "Write the thing and let it happen", but that approach scares me. I could easily finish up with three quarters of a book that makes no sense.

Write an outline. But don't fixate on making the perfect outline on your first go. Get a general outline. Then refine it. And for Crom's sake, what are you doing "writing it over and over in first person from each main character's POV"?

Write the whole book as a ten page, single space, third person, present tense narrative. By tomorrow. Don't look back until you hit "The End."

Before you ask, I don't give a hoot if you use Times New Roman or Dark Courier or Goudy Old Style, or red ink or green paper, nor do I give a flip if you have one inch margins or 5/8" margins or what. 5,000 words. Don't even stop to correct typos. If you don't know what happens next just make something up. Get going.

Now.

------------------------

But what should I do if my revisions turn out not much better?

Revise again.

Then re-write some.

And read a lot. And start your next book.

-----------------------

How do you judge the proper balance of high tension and resting points? I do it by ear. Sometimes when you're playing jazz you just have to jam.

Don't forget the comic relief.

The reason you want highs and lows is for the contrast. If everything is high, nothing is. If you put in a very deep low, everything else will seem much higher than it really is.

If you think THIS is long you should see the first one! :ROFL:

I hope everyone here has read/is reading Learn Writing Volume One (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710).

-----------------------

Take some time off!

Everyone, do a crossword puzzle, a word-search puzzle, a cryptogram, or some other puzzle that has to do with words.

-------------------------

How about this, Euclid:

Take a favorite book by an author you'd like to be. Re-read it. Write down all the characters, and their functions in the story.

-------------------------

Page 11 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=11)
10-04-09

James D. Macdonald

12-14-2009, 03:01 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 2
Page 12 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=12)
10-04-09

-----------------------

Would you say that the utilisation of hyphenation is gramatically-correct in the following sentences?

I'd think it was incorrect in all of them.

-----------------------

Are the four examples different enough?

I would think that a full chapter including dialog in Share Your Work would be more helpful.

--------------------

Do you have any advice for someone looking to take on such a task?

The first question is: Why?

Assuming you've answered that question with something that satisfies you:

Research the heck out of it. Start in the Children's Room of your local library. When you've become an expert, leave 90% (some say 99%) of your research in your notes, not on the pages of your novel.

-------------------------

I get the word said being the word said. The one time I deviate is with "replied".

Is that bad?

No, it isn't bad.

Neither are other "said" words bad, in and of themselves. But they are like spices: Too many will make the dish inedible.

Any guidance would be appreciated, from anyone.

You ask me a question I can't answer. The only way to know is to write the book. If it works, you'll know. Contrariwise if it doesn't work, you'll know.

--------------------

Anything I should focus on while reading the Logical Chess, anyone?

The concept of positional play, and the concept of understanding the why of doing what you do.

-------------------

Also, I hate it when people use verbs that don't actually describe approaches to utterance as speech tags. "'No, thanks,' he disdained."

"Blue socks don't go with a yellow suit," Fred welded.

-----------------------

I'm unsure because of the colon--I'll leave that for someone less grammatically challenged

Personally, I'd capitalized the T. Just be consistent. The copyeditor will come along and change it to house style anyway.

-----------------------

In the 400+ pages of this thread, I didn't see anything about footnotes in a novel. Do any of your novels use footnotes?

Generally, novels don't use footnotes.

They can be done well (e.g. the Flashman novels by George MacDonald Frasier), or badly (e.g. HMS Ulysses by Aleister MacLean).

Generally speaking, if the footnotes take the reader out of the narrative flow, or if their existence makes it clear that the rest of the text is all-made-up, they are a bad thing.

Doyle used footnotes in her short story, "A Death in the Working." (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/A%20Death%20in%20the%20Working.pdf)

How to format them? However you wish. The publisher will set them according to house style.

--------------------------

Comedy is notoriously hard. (Although, strictly speaking, anything with a happy ending is comedy. Thus, Dante's Divine Comedy, so-called because it ends up in paradise.)

Like anything else in this art, they can be done well or done badly. The question you should ask is why am I doing this? What do I gain that I can get in no other way?

----------------------------

You want the next big thing? Here you go. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwM6uoQAh50)

-------------------------

One thing to remember about humor: The characters in the humorous piece don't know that they're in a funny novel. To them it's all real and serious.

---------------------------

Comedy relief is an important technique. It makes the highs seem higher by making the lows seem lower, through contrast.

Besides, there's nothing like a joke to help your readers like a character.

---------------------------

In your novel, those 200-300 pages contain the biggest event in your main character's life.

Remember that and you'll do fine.

-------------------------

I'm thinking of doing a big, long, meaty post about how art is all about limits.

Life doesn't have limits. Art does. That's how you can tell the difference.

-------------------------

Life has its limits too. For one, it tends to end rather abruptly.

Sure, it can. For an individual. The universe continues.

-----------------------

In my case, my MC IS the straight man, so I'm not sure how to give him anything funny to say or do.

Get ahold of the original British version of The Lord of the Rings. Aragorn has a sense of humor in it.

This was removed for the reprinted American version (long story short: Under the copyright laws of the time, since there hadn't been an American edition of The Lord of the Rings when it first came out, LOTR was in the public domain in the USA. Ace published it, as public domain, with no royalties going to J.R.R. Tolkien. In order to get it back under copyright, a new edition had to be created, and it had to be substantially revised. (You were wondering about the author's statement on the back cover of the Ballantine edition, "Those who approve of courtesy to living authors will purchase this edition and no other"? That's what that was all about.)

What was substantially revised was revising Aragorn's sense of humor right out. Made him more kingly, I suppose.

Example: Aragorn has just looked into the Palantir. Gimli asks, "Did you say aught, to him?"

In the revised edition, Aragorn replies, "Nay, Gimli...."

In the first edition: "What did you fear I should say? That I have a rascal of a rebel dwarf whom I should gladly exchange for a serviceable orc? Nay, Gimli...."

-----------------------

I have no problem focusing on my writing....problem is, I can't focus on one story. While I am writing one story another one is pushing itself in to my mind and distracting me. Soon enough I find myself daydreaming about that story. So I switch to writing it....obviously its the story that "demands" to be told right? No...when I'm writing story 2, story 1 will begin pestering me! So when you have two novel ideas how do you decide on one and more particularly how do you make yourself focus on just it?

I frequently work on two projects at once. I write one until I run out of gas, then switch to the second and go 'til I run out of gas, then switch back to the first.

The other thing that may be going on is the Saboteur Self getting in there, trying to keep you from finishing any project. That's where we get folks who have been writing for fifteen years and have thirty half-novels to show for it. The answer there is to just bull through, even though you hate hate hate the current story and know that the next idea is brilliant and demands to be told.

----------------------

Uncle Jim,

New guy over here, I was wondering if there is any cure for "overwriting". I seem to overdescribe the setting and the actions, and although it doesn't slow the pace, it gets annoying after 5 or 10 pages.

Any thoughts?

Just write the book. Edit it afterwards.

Things that are annoying can be cut. Things that readers are going to skim can be cut.

----------------------

So I started doing experiments and focusing on writing as MUCH as I can as FAST as I can. Is it crap? Who knows.

No writing is wasted. And if it gives you better story value at the end ... all the better.

---------------------

Of course you can write out of order!

Write the part that needs to be written, the part that's strongest in your mind right now. You're sitting in your chair, you're making your fingers move on the keyboard. How can this possibly be wrong?

------------------------

Story, as Teresa Nielsen Hayden is fond of saying, is a force of nature.

How do you know if you're writing well? Your readers will tell you.

Recall that you as the writer are only doing half of the work of creation. Your reader is doing the other half, compiling your words into story.

------------------------

...I want to be as good as James D. Macdonald.

No, you don't. You want to be better. My publishers already have a guy who's exactly as good as me.

Heck, I spend my days trying to be better than James D. Macdonald. Why not you, too?

---------------------

The new cover for the paperback version of The Apocalypse Door:

http://www.sff.net/people/yog/covers/The_Apocalypse_Door_PB_big.jpg

Release date is 8 December. (Everyone in your whole extended family wants one for Christmas. No, really. They told me in e-mail.)

-----------------------

The ISFDB entries both contain serious errors and omissions.

---------------------

I love all my children equally.

Let's not get derailed from talking about writing in general.

----------------------

Yep, putting the work in the desk drawer would be the best thing to do. A month or six weeks while you work on something else would be great.

Then rewrite and edit the fudge out of it. Only when you've gone as far as you can go on your own should you take to your beta readers or your workshop.

------------------------

Thanks all. The most common advice from those in the know seems to be putting it aside for a while. If I had just forged ahead on my own, I would've probably gone right back into editing it and made one full edit through the book while it was fairly fresh in my mind (fixing blatant inconsistencies, for example), and then put it aside for a while so that when I came back to it it wouldn't seem quite so bad. What do you think of that Uncle Jim? Do you think can be good as well, or would you advise against it?

Does it work for you? If so, then by all means carry on.

------------------------

At some point you will have to deal with what's on the page, not what's in your head.

Will this necessarily be fun and easy? No....

-------------------------

Back in the old days of the pulps, some of the pulp writers (Mighty Men and Women of Yore, TM) were able to write publishable first drafts. Out of the typewriter, into the envelope, then on to the next.

Where will we find their like again?

For myself, I hate my first drafts. They're horrible. Cringeworthy. I feel this way even if others who read them are praising them. I recognize that the reaction is mine, and subjective. What helps me is some time to get away from remembering how wonderful I thought it would be before I started, and how much I've fallen short of how I'd imagined it.

Thanks. I don't know yet if it works for me or not. I could try it.

You should try it. You should try lots of things. How else will you find what works for you?

"The lyf so short, the craft so long to lerne,
Thassay so hard, so sharp the conquering,
The dredful Ioy, that alwey slit so yerne...."

-- Geoffrey Chaucer (The Parliament of Fowls)

---------------------

Page 22 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=22)
11-15-09

James D. Macdonald

12-14-2009, 03:22 AM

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 2
Page 23 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=23)
11-15-09

----------------------

Something else about the pulps: In those days copyeditors had latitude. They could do anything with the stories that they wanted. H. P. Lovecraft worked as a copyeditor, and he would throw Cthulhu material into the unlikeliest places.

-----------------------

I just posted this in another thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=4276710#post4276710), but I think I'll repost it here:

Check out any best-seller list. Look at the top five or ten names.

Where did they publish their first books? Same place, right?

Now look at those publishing houses. They have lots of best-sellers, right?

So: If you want to be a best-seller, make sure your first book comes out from a house that regularly publishes best-sellers.

----------

Why five or ten names? Because doing the research on a hundred won't change the results but will take quite a bit of time.

---------

Meanwhile, over at CNN: Sarah Palin's publishing and political worlds in collision (http://www.cnn.com/2009/OPINION/11/18/matalin.palin.book/index.html)

We read, from Mary Matalin:

Full disclosure: Threshold Editions, an imprint of Simon and Schuster, (for which I serve as editor-in-chief, a misnomer of a title, since my editing is confined to reading; for you political types, think, "operative/organizer") would have loved to acquire Sarah Palin's book.

And ...

We are now all watching very closely how it plays out (and more precisely, "earns-out") in a book market that's unpredictable and fickle always, but in major transition today. The pre-orders immediately kicked it onto the best-seller lists, but a dirty little secret of publishing (where spin is as prevalent as in politics) is not all best-sellers earn out (i.e., the publisher sells enough books to cover an author's advance, which is the threshold for making a profit).

At which point I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head. I think "for which I serve as figurehead" would have been more accurate than "for which I serve as editor-in-chief." It's clear that she hasn't a clue about the business side of the house, and didn't check with any of the day-to-day editors, or the publisher.

In sober fact, the publisher makes a profit long before the book earns out. (Exception: when the advance is some ludicrous amount that is offered for something other than book-selling business reasons. When they start playing that game, all I can say is, "Don't gamble with money you can't afford to lose.")

Still, any number of people are going to see that codswallop, and think that an Editor Said So, So It Must Be True.

-------------------------

If I say that the character is a caring and intelligent human being wouldn't that be telling leading the reader in my direction rather than letting them interpret the story on their own?

Well, leading the readers in the direction we want them to go is pretty much what this whole art is about. The trick is doing it so they don't know they're being led (or if they do know, so they enjoy it).

In other news: Yesterday brought the first two author's pre-release copies of the paperback The Apocalypse Door (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0765306085). It's getting real.

Today brought a new computer (that I must set up). If I vanish, that's why.

Also today, news of the release date for Lincoln's Sword (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/lincolns_sword.htm). Be the first Cool Kid on your block to preorder!

-------------------------

1) No writing is wasted.

2) Picking the exactly-right word is a skill that can be improved with practice.

3) Writing poetry will teach you how to write poetry; writing a novel will teach you how to write novels. Letting one substitute for the other can become cat-waxing.

4) There's no reason why you can't do both.

5) Whatever you do, don't forget that the process only ends when you send the product to a market that can buy it.

-----------------------

A new version of the Lincoln's Sword cover (http://www.sff.net/people/yog/lincolnsswordmed.jpg). Just got it from the publisher today.

Spotted a couple of minor typos of course

If you tell me what the typos are, I can fix them.

-----------------------

Any time my friend Esther Friesner gets a story back (and it happens to all of us, all the darned time), she says, "Your loss, Toots," and mails it back out.

And my friend Jen Pelland (less well known, no less brilliant) treats herself to dinner out, every hundred rejections.

That's what makes the pro a pro.

And a story that writes itself means you're on the right track. (The converse, a story that fights you every inch of the way, does not mean that you're on the wrong track.)

--------------------

A dramatic reading of Atlanta Nights (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jBPek_3wY0), chapter by chapter....

--------------------

I was indeed involved in writing Atlanta Nights (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006032.html).

--------------------

Suck up!;)

Yanno, you could do worse than to buy Jen's book yourself....

Meanwhile, I've posted something pretty extensive elsewhere (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=163317&page=6), that I think I'll import into this thread:

================================

Why you can't sell a very-long work to a print publisher as a first novel:

The price per unit goes down as the print run goes up. The cost per unit goes up as the page count goes up.

Publishers know, from long experience, how many copies of a first novel from an unknown will sell in their genre, with their distribution, with their capacity for marketing and promotion. Some novels will sell more, some less, but there is an average number, and the individual publishers know what it is for them.

Let us say that Publisher X knows that the average first novel from an unknown sells 10,000 copies. That means that they must print 15,000 copies. That'll be the print run.

Publishers also know what the maximum amount the reading public will pay for any novel. Above a certain price point, not even a new and well-reviewed novel from a favorite author will sell. Let us say that that cover price is $30.00.

One other thing that the publishers know is what discount the bookstores demand. Let us say that the bookstores demand a 50% discount.

I have chosen all these numbers purely to make the math easier. But there are real numbers, and the publishers know them all.

Print run: Fixed number.
Price point: Fixed number.
Discount: Fixed number.
Page count: Variable.

What is the only variable? Page count.

Publishers also know how much money each book must earn to pay their fixed expenses. The rent. The lights. The editors' salaries. The book catalogs. The marketing staff.

They know how much money the particular book must earn to pay for itself: the author's advance, the cover art, the printing, the warehousing, the shipping.

All of these numbers, too, are fixed numbers.

There is a certain amount of profit per title that the publisher wants to make. This may be more of a pious hope, but it, too, is a real number. And the publisher knows what that number is for them.

As page count rises, cost rises. At some point, cost will rise above the profitability number. At that point, you will not sell your first novel to that publisher.

What is that magic page count? This will vary publisher-to-publisher. But it is generally held that the number is well below 300,000 words.

What to do about this, if you have a work that absolutely must be 300,000 words?

1) Write and publish a number of shorter works, to build a fan base, so that your expected sales go up, bringing cost per unit down, and bringing total cost into line with the expected profit target. This includes writing and selling other novels of a more typical length for the market.

2) Seek alternative publication, e.g. e-pubs, where the cost-per-unit is not based on the bill from the printer's plant, the number of physical volumes that can fit in a crate, and the number of crates that can fit on truck.

To agents for a moment. The best agent in the world can't sell an unpublishable manuscript. More to the point, the best agent in the world won't even try to sell an unpublishable manuscript. The best agent in the world became the best agent by only showing up at the publisher's office when he or she had a publishable manuscript in hand. For the reasons set forth above, 300,000 words from an unknown author is unpublishable. End of story.

-------------

Notes: The Lord of the Rings has been mentioned. Note that Tolkien was not a first-time unknown author presenting his first novel.

Susanna Clarke's Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell was a debut book. It followed nearly a decade of award-winning short works that built a fan base, and it sold to a large publisher that had the marketing resources to sell enough copies that a print run long enough to bring the cover price into line with buyer expectations was possible.

Both Tolkien and Clarke also fall under the Genius Exemption: The closer you are to the edge of the envelope, the closer to genius you must be.

I can hear you object: But MY BOOK will be DIFFERENT! And I am a genius!

No, your book is not different. And if you are, in fact, a genius, prove it: Prove it with award-winning and best selling works.

-----------------------

How many people catch the Peter and Simon name game?

More than that... how many people catch The Stations of the Cross? There is a ton of little jokes and games and Catholic fun.

-------------------------

Yes, a shorter book has a better chance of being profitable, and therefore publishable.

But be advised that there's also a lower limit. There's a certain income that any book must achieve (rent, utilities, salaries, etc) and therefore a certain cover price. Readers won't pay the necessary minimum price for books that are too short and therefore don't appear to provide value-for-money.

This is why publishers exist. To make those calculations and to deliver books to readers. Squirrelly as publishing can be, it does one thing very, very well. It puts fiction in readers' hands.

As to bookshops closing: High Street is a high-rent district. Bookstores are marginal at best. And ... while the means of delivery is always changing, the ability to tell lies that others want to hear is a rare one. People with rare abilities can always make their way.

Writing is a precarious occupation. What else is new?

------------------------

Jen, do you think it's time to teach them "The Vomit Song"?

-------------------------

Finally, a book trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_jyXJTlrH0) that actually makes me want to read (http://www.bookcouncil.org.nz/writers/geem.html) the book (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0571170145).

-----------------------

The Vomit Song (to the tune of, and in the manner of, Bingo Was his Name-o (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwcMYhX3ie8))

There was a girl who wrote a tale
And vomit was its theme-o.
V-O-M-I-T
V-O-M-I-T
V-O-M-I-T
And vomit was its theme-o.

There was a girl who wrote a tale
And vomit was its theme-o.
V-O-M-I-[clap]
V-O-M-I-[clap]
V-O-M-I-[clap]
And vomit was its theme-o.

There was a girl who wrote a tale
And vomit was its theme-o.
V-O-M-[clap]-[clap]
V-O-M-[clap]-[clap]
V-O-M-[clap]-[clap]
And vomit was its theme-o.

There was a girl who wrote a tale
And vomit was its theme-o.
V-O-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]
V-O-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]
V-O-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]
And vomit was its theme-o.

There was a girl who wrote a tale
And vomit was its theme-o.
V-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]
V-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]
V-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]
And vomit was its theme-o.

There was a girl who wrote a tale
And vomit was its theme-o.
[clap]-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]
[clap]-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]
[clap]-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]-[clap]
And vomit was its theme-o.

------------------------

So much wrong-ness there, Uncle Jim, I have even more respect for you now!

Shall I mention that The Vomit Song made its debut during a group dinner?

Many years ago, when we were writing YA horror, the publisher asked me for an outline. I sent it the next day, and the outline included this song (to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic):

Jenny Brodie's bloody body's bundled in a body bag
Jenny Brodie's bloody body's bundled in a body bag
Jenny Brodie's bloody body's bundled in a body bag
But her legs go marching on.

Gory, gory Jenny Brody
Gory, gory Jenny Brody
Gory, gory Jenny Brody
Her legs go marching on.

We got the assignment, and I was informed that the entire Art Department was singing "Jenny Brody."

-------------------

The lesson here being, writing should be fun.

If you aren't having fun writing, well, why are you doing it?

---------------------

Also, is that second comma right up there? I never know if it's okay to put a comma outside of quotation marks.

Are you in Great Britain?

-------------------

Our Year's Best Fantasy (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/Years_best_9.htm) short story, "Philologos; or, A Murder in Bistrita" is available as a free download (http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=blog&id=58336) at Tor.com. You'll need to be a registered user, but registration is free.

--------------------

Our Year's Best Fantasy (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/Years_best_9.htm) short story, "Philologos; or, A Murder in Bistrita" is available as a free download (http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=blog&id=58336) at Tor.com. You'll need to be a registered user, but registration is free.

Now that the finished story is available on-line, here is the first draft, as it was written, in various parts:

http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/2006/12/06/

http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/2006/12/09/

http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/2006/12/11/

http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/2006/12/13/

http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/2006/12/29/

----------------------

Uncle Jim, have you ever considered putting together a "how-to" book for writers....

I have considered that very thing.

In my copious free time....

---------------------

A while back we talked about A Christmas Carol (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=418152).

Here, for your amusement, is Dickens' original manuscript (http://documents.nytimes.com/looking-over-the-shoulder-of-charles-dickens-the-man-who-wrote-of-a-christmas-carol#p=1), complete with scratching out, doodles, word-twiddles, and all those other writerly things.

---------------------

Whew, his handwriting is about as bad as mine.

Dickins' handwriting is pretty good. It's likely that his submission draft (fair copy) would have been clearer. Herman Melville had notoriously bad handwriting.

Mr Earbrass, in The Unstrung Harp, is handwriting his book.

IIRC, Mark Twain was the first writer to submit a typewritten manuscript.

---------------------

It's St. Nicholas Day!

Therefore, it's time for another Christmas Challenge. (And I'll be playing right alongside you.)

This year's challenge:

First, take the plot from a folk or faerie tale (http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/folktexts.html).

Now, retell it in one of the following settings:

1) During the American Civil War, at the Siege of Vicksburg.
2) During the Summer of Love (1968), only in a small town about 1,000 miles from San Francisco.
3) In your town, today.
4) Aboard the International Space Station.
5) In a biker gang in New York City.

Make sure you sand off all the identifying marks (e.g. if you're doing Cinderella; no shoe, no ball, no midnight, no prince, no stepsisters...).

Write your story in accordance with Edgar Allan Poe's Philosophy of Composition (http://www.eapoe.org/works/essays/philcomp.htm).

Your deadline is Christmas Eve, because (in accordance with long tradition), you will read your story aloud to your family on Christmas Eve. (This does not mean that it must be a Christmas Story. Far from it. See, for example, M. R. James' Ghost Stories of an Antiquary (http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/8486) for his Christmas read-aloud stories.)

Do any necessary rewrites based on your family's reactions, ready to submit your story on January 2nd to a semi-pro-or-better paying, appropriate market that you find at Duotrope.com (http://www.duotrope.com).

Ready? Writers, hit your keyboards!

------------------

But...but...those are the same thing!

Then that setting should be particularly easy for you.

-------------------

Now... which one to choose?

Choose "fun" and "interesting" and the rest doesn't matter.

-------------------

Okay, everyone. All you folks who have been reading this thread for years. You want to thank me? Here's how:

Go down to your local bookstore. The one with the doors and windows. Walk in, and buy a copy of The Apocalypse Door (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm) by, well, me. Pick it up right off the shelf.

Thank you.

-------------------------

It took them exactly one month! to pick this book (and one other) from the shelves and put them in a packet.

Given that the release date is today, I'd say that's pretty decent time.

---------------------

Scalzi's Old Man's War is excellent. It also has a highly unusual publishing history.

Scalzi posted Old Man's War on his web page, where a professional editor found it and offered on it. Scalzi himself recommends that others not try to follow this path. First, out of the thousands of novels published every year, his was the only one with that history. Second, Scalzi has been a professional writer for decades. It's just that he'd never written a novel before, and he hadn't intended to seek publication for it at all. This was lightning striking, not once but several times, in a peculiar pattern that's not likely to ever be repeated.

Also, he wrote an outstanding book.

---------------------

Perhaps I should do some more 'background checks' on the books I read...

Do so only if it adds to your enjoyment.

I come out of the Medieval Literature side of the house, where often enough nothing whatever is known about the author.

-------------------

Words of advice from Neil Gaiman on how to become a successful writer:

"Never publish anything bad."

-----------------

I write bad things all the time. I just don't send them out until they're good.

If I can't make them good, I don't send them out.

Readers don't forgive bad writing. If the experience of reading your book is bad, they won't read anything else you've written. If it's sufficiently bad, they won't read anything else that looks like your book either.

Here's a report from the bookstore front (http://msagara.livejournal.com/52146.html): Readers won't touch trade paperbacks from legitimate houses that look like they might have been vanity published. What do we mean by "look like"? 6x9 trim size and a glossy cover. That's enough.

What that means is that enough readers have been burned by Aunt Sue's romance she got published through AuthorHouse, or by the PublishAmerica title that a bookstore manager shelved because the author came and begged, that they have antibodies.

That isn't the only place where readers have been burned, or where the readers remember. I could tell you tales of entire genres that have been poisoned by publishers getting greedy and printing books that should never have seen a bookstore rack, just because the public demand for that genre was high. Some of those genres still haven't recovered to their pre-pond-bloom levels, and it's been over ten years.

It's too bad if you are writing in one of those genres, or if your publisher puts a glossy cover on your trade paperback. Your book could cure cancer, feed the hungry, and bring world peace, and the reading public still won't pick it up.

----------------------

Whatever happened to: "Never judge a book by its cover"?

Readers do it all the time. So do you.

(And, "You can't judge a book by its cover" dates to another time in publishing when the book block and the cover were purchased separately, and the exact same text from the same press could be inside of two very different covers.)

Of course, now that the secret is out, self-publishing will immediately start producing matt covered books in other sizes!

Not any time soon. Not with the current POD machines.

-------------------------

So my question is - have you never been published in Australia, and if not do you have intentions of pursuing that course of action?

The Apocalypse Door is published by Macmillan in Australia. When you search at the Macmillan.au site on "Macdonald" it's the very first hit.

http://www.panmacmillan.com.au/list_titles.asp?txtKeywords=macdonald&x=21&y=15

ISBN 978-0765306081

The Australian publication date will be 01/01/2010.

-----------------------

And about the letter...that must be intimidating for aspiring authors. (I say this because I'm one of them)

Don't worry about it. If you aren't vanity-published it won't affect you.

------------------------

ISBN is a number used when warehousing, tracking, selling, identifying individual titles by format, edition, and publisher. It allows bookstores to order and sell particular books, and readers to find particular books, without having to write out the entire card-catalog listing each time.

DRM, on the other hand, is a tool of the devil.

The two items are completely unrelated. Which is a good thing.

--------------------------

Part of going back to well-loved books and finding them disappointing might also come from increased maturity in your reading, even without your becoming a writer in the meantime.

The more you read, the more you add to your storehouse of ideas, and what was once fresh will become Seen That A Hundred Times.

(This is another reason why having your plot take a Left Turn at Reality in the midbook is a good idea, and why I recommend braiding a number of threads into Celtic Knotwork.)

------------------------

A couple of things.

First, on-line promotion.

You'll notice that my sig line right now is a link for my novel, The Apocalypse Door. That's a live link to Amazon.com, which (because of the Amazon Associates program) I can track as to numbers coming in. That sig line isn't the only place I've left that link, either. It's pretty much everywhere I'm active.

[Edited: I'm removing all links to Amazon that I've put up over the years, wherever they might be. Put the 800-pound gorilla on a diet. Don't link to them, don't buy from them.]

Heaven only knows how many impressions there have been (that is, number of people who've seen it). There've been 214 click-throughs. Which have resulted in three sales. Okay, that may well be three sales that I wouldn't have had otherwise, but it still isn't a big return on promotional time and effort.

=================

Second:

Scientist and writer Dr. Peter Watts was assaulted and arrested by US border guards. Details here (http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=t&ct2=us%2F0_0_s_0_0_t&usg=AFQjCNGhAC63NsH8gIqtOntsFLjIQt6LoQ&cid=1487387233&ei=CrgiS6D7C8fslQeElr_RAw&rt=MORE_COVERAGE&vm=STANDARD&url=http%3A%2F%2Fio9.com%2F5424502%2Fsf-writer-peter-watts-arrested-beaten-at-us%2Bcanadian-border), here (http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=t&ct2=us%2F0_0_s_1_0_t&usg=AFQjCNHM1BrZHvSMkYiovmYubTVEdaIuow&cid=1487387233&ei=CrgiS6D7C8fslQeElr_RAw&rt=MORE_COVERAGE&vm=STANDARD&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.locusmag.com%2FNews%2F2009%2F 12%2Fauthor-peter-watts-arrested-at-us.html), here (http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=t&ct2=us%2F0_0_s_2_0_t&usg=AFQjCNHjIbsw4othR_8h71B9gTvKOByEzQ&cid=1487387233&ei=CrgiS6D7C8fslQeElr_RAw&rt=MORE_COVERAGE&vm=STANDARD&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.boingboing.net%2F2009%2F12%2F 11%2Fdr-peter-watts-canad.html), and here (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/011966.html). Please donate to his legal defense fund. Also, if you're in the US or Canada, write letters to your elected representatives and to your local newspapers in his support.

See also: Scientist explains why climate scientists talk trash (http://www.rifters.com/crawl/?p=886). Yes, it's that Dr. Peter Watts.

------------------------

Piracy isn't the problem for authors. The biggest problem is obscurity.

Most people would rather get legitimate copies, if they're available, and if they're convenient.

DRM invites the crackers. Breaking DRM is trivially easy for them. They are not inconvenienced by it at all.

The people who are inconvenienced are your legitimate readers who, for example, download your work in a form that they can read on their laptop, but won't let them read it on their PDA. Or the people who can't make backups, so that when their hard-drives die (which they all do), or they upgrade their computers (which they all will) forces them to re-buy their entire libraries.

The experience of the Baen Free Library, as well as individuals like Cory Doctorow, is that DRM-free electronic versions increase sales.

So: DRM a) adds cost, b) inconveniences legitimate purchasers, c) tells your fans that you think they're dishonest, and d) doesn't slow down the pirates. I don't see an upside.

-----------------------

Little known but true: When used books and new books are on the same bookshelf, side by side, and the used book is cheaper, people in general still choose to buy the new book.

------------------------

If the new books are trade paperbacks with glossy covers, I expect that they'll just sit there, and so will the used copy of the same book.

Even when gloss/or/matte doesn't come into the equation, and when the reader is there looking for that specific title (e.g. an Amazon page), with new and used listed on the same page, folks prefer to buy new even if it costs more.

-----------------------

I live near one of the world's best bookstores (Powell's) which puts new and used on the same shelves...

And you just know that Powell's isn't in business to lose money.

Other interesting things: If there is more than one copy of the same title side-by-side on the shelf, people are more likely to buy one than if just one copy of that exact same title is there.

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Page 30 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=30)
12-12-09

James D. Macdonald

02-11-2011, 07:37 PM

Page 29 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=29)
12-12-2009, 01:31 PM

If the new books are trade paperbacks with glossy covers, I expect that they'll just sit there, and so will the used copy of the same book.

Even when gloss/or/matte doesn't come into the equation, and when the reader is there looking for that specific title (e.g. an Amazon page), with new and used listed on the same page, folks prefer to buy new even if it costs more.

---------------------------------

I live near one of the world's best bookstores (Powell's) which puts new and used on the same shelves...And you just know that Powell's isn't in business to lose money.

Other interesting things: If there is more than one copy of the same title side-by-side on the shelf, people are more likely to buy one than if just one copy of that exact same title is there.

----------------------------

I was wondering if The Apocalypse Door is religious?Short answer: Yes.

Slightly longer answer: Everything I write is religious.

Longer answer than that: See for yourself. The first chapter, complete (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm).

--------------------------------

How can I tell if my writing is any good?

In the larger sense you never do. Have we mentioned "impostor syndrome"?

We have! (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=84240&postcount=1950)

It's that wakes-you-up-at-three-in-the-morning fear that any minute now your readers, your editors, the critics, your friends, and your family are going to figure out that you've been faking it all along, you don't know what you're doing, and you'll have to get an honest job.

But follow the link. You'll learn how to tell whether your writing is any good (for some value of "good").

------------------------------

Hmmm, by the definition(s) at the end of Uncle Jim's link, I'm a no talent hack.

I didn't say "no-talent hack."

You just might have a harder time telling if you're a good writer. Not that any of us can ever know whether we're a good writer. And all of us, at one time or another, are convinced that we aren't.

--------------------------------

In which I achieve YouTube fame.... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoTrLpeDDZU) (Minute 8:15 if you want to skip the fun and exciting parts of the video.)

--------------------------------

Rules for Writing

Because the cats were already waxed and polished to a high gloss, I decided to finish up Uncle Jim Undiluted (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7987) to date.

Now, because the criticism has been leveled that this thread contains Too Many Rules, let me see (using that new collection of Everything I've Said Here), exactly what I've claimed are "rules."

Here we go!

I have two basic rules: everything that's said should be true, and everything should be helpful.

The rule in the middle is "don't slow down."

You need to develop characters so that they serve a purpose other than Keeping The Front Cover and Back Cover Apart. Two rules for that: Every character thinks that he's the main character in the story, and Every character thinks that he's the good guy. While you are writing the character (from the main character, to the most minor of minor characters) you're in his head, and those two things are true while you're writing from his point of view (POV).

Okay, before I end today, one more rule of thumb: Unless you're writing War and Peace or the Bible, try to have all your characters on stage and moving by page one hundred.

Here's one: Say one of your characters is the world's greatest political orator. Do not, under penalty of having your book flung across the room by your readers, attempt to reproduce that orator's speeches. Unless you personally are the world's greatest orator, anything you write will fall short of the reader's expectation. (Same rule applies if your character is the world's greatest poet, greatest preacher, greatest writer, greatest anything. Don't try to provide samples.)

Here's another rule: Never practice in public.
(and yeah, Never let a manuscript sleep over).

Recall Mark Twain's rules (http://users.telerama.com/%7Ejoseph/cooper/cooper.html) for romantic fiction, particularly "They require that the characters in a tale shall be so clearly defined that the reader can tell beforehand what each will do in a given emergency."

The master rules are "Nine-and-sixty ways" and "Does it work?"

We've been talking about rules? There are no rules. There are only guidelines, some of them stronger than others.

Keeping the rule that only words that reveal character, support the theme, and advance the plot belong in your novel should keep you from the worst excesses.

Remember the master rule: You can do anything at all provided it works.

Okay, here's a rule for you: You are allowed one exclamation point per novel. Use it wisely.

Some rules of thumb:

A chapter is a comfortable length to read at one sitting. If your chapters are ten to fifteen pages, that works for a lot of people. Three-to-four page chapters give a feeling of breakneck pace, which might work for a thriller, or might not.

The question is -- where does the break feel natural to you?

A chapter ending contains a reason for the person who put the book down last night before he went to sleep to pick your book up, rather than watch TV, start another book, or play touch football.

Sub-plots -- as long as the reader isn't confused about where they are in the plot, anything you do is okay. Do not confuse the reader.

Your hooks don't need to be obvious at all. (Being too obvious can give your novel a rather Hardy Boys feeling.) They just have to be there.

Do you think that (generally speaking) the reader would feel somehow cheated if, by the end of the story, the 'bad' from the beginning becomes 'good' too (only that a different kind of good ), and the initial 'good' moves towards 'bad' (from a different perspective than that at the beginning).

Well, golly. You've just described the theme arc in the first three of our Mageworlds (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/mageworl.htm) books . (Buy one! Bettter still, buy a dozen! They make excellent gifts!)

Or, as someone else (my beloved co-author, to be precise) once said: "The conflict of good vs. evil is all very well, but if you want to make your characters squirm, try the conflict of good vs. good."

Is all foreshadowing that subtle?

It certainly can be. The entire atmosphere of your book is an artistic space that you create, where everything points to its end. You are responsible for providing the information to the readers, though it can be in very small ways.

When I make a stew I don't dump in the entire box of salt.

Isn't it possible to be too subtle?

Sure. It's all possible. This is why we call this particular trade an art.

If this were a science we could look up a table that would tell us how much and what kind of foreshadowing to use.

Write ten to fifteen pages per day, and you'll have ten novels per year.

See how easy it is?

On the other hand, The Killer Angels (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS.../madhousemanor (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0345348109/ref=nosim/madhousemanor)) uses tons of internal dialog and none of it is italicized.

So ....

Be consistent with yourself, and see how it reads.

This is not a science, measured with stopwatch and micrometer. This is an art, an art where the one rule is "It works."

The over-all rule is that every word in your novel should advance the plot, support the theme, or reveal character.

Remember the master rule: Does it work?

The general rule still holds: If it isn't working, take it out.

And the master rule: If it works, it's right.

We've said before that it's okay to break rules, as long as you do it for a purpose, you know what rule you're breaking, and above all, that it works.

The master rule is Does It Work.

If you really, really need to get a fact across, the rule is you slide it in three times.

Is there a general rule of thumb for how a magazine will feel about vulgarity in a story?
Read the magazine you're submitting to. Get copies of their guidelines, and follow them.

The rule isn't "show, don't tell, regardless," it's "use the best tools to tell the story."

You'll discover when writing novels that the master rule is "What works for you?"

Remember the two rules:

Publishers worth submitting to have books you've seen with your own eyes on the shelves of bookstores.
Useful agents have sold books you've heard of.

As far as spelling out numbers, the rule is "be consistent."

The only rule is: Don't bore your reader.

The real rule is: The prose must be workmanlike or better.

Orwell's rule

Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous. is similar in intent to Rule 2 of COLREGS 1972 (International Rules For Preventing Collision At Sea, aka the Rules of the Road):

Rule 2 Responsibility
(a) Nothing in these Rules shall exonerate any vessel, or the owner, master, or crew thereof, from the consequences of any neglect to comply with these Rules or of the neglect of any precaution which may be required by the ordinary practice of seamen, or by the special circumstances of the case.
(b) In construing and complying with these Rules due regard shall be had to all dangers of navigation and collision and to any special circumstances, including the limitations of the vessels involved, which may make a departure from these Rules necessary to avoid immediate danger.That's the General Prudential Rule or the Rule of Good Seamanship: You should follow the rules at all times, unless following the rules would result in a collision; at that time you are required to break the rules.

The rules of writing are all very well and will keep you out of trouble most of the time, but you'll break those rules if you must to avoid the literary equivalent of a collision at sea.

While it isn't as fixed a rule as $28.00 among hardcover novels, the equivalent price among trade paperbacks is $16.00. Customers leave the more expensive books right on the shelf. Even from authors they know and like.

By "dialog is privileged" I mean that normal rules of spelling and grammar do not apply there.

"Preposition" means, literally, placed first: Pre-position. That "rule" about not ending sentences with prepositions comes from the 18th century grammar-masters who hadn't quite figured out that English isn't Latin. Ignore it. It isn't really a rule.

Unless specified otherwise, is the rule of thumb for chapter breaks still new page, center? I've been seeing some variations here and there. I recently saw double space, including chapter break.New page, start the chapter half-way down the page. Center the chapter title or number, doublespace, indent, and type.

The page-one-hundred rule (not so much a rule as a guideline): If you're writing War And Peace, or the Bible, you can introduce major characters later on. There are other special circumstances. Examine your story. If it's better with a major character introduced nearer to the end, then it's better.

The thing about writing rules is this: They aren't rules. They're guidelines. You do have to know where the lines are, but if you need to color outside of them, please do so. The master rule is if it works, it's right. Yes, you can break that rule too, but don't expect anyone but mom to love your story if you do.

My personal rule is, the three most recent/most prestigious sales. All to the same market, to different markets ... that doesn't matter to me. The idea is to show "I'm writing at a professional level; a professional sent me money."

Do not forget the master rule: What works for you is right.

The rule is this: If you see a publisher or an agent advertising through Google, they're either scammers or worthless.

The only real rule is: If It Works, It's Right.

And the master rule is that if it works, it's right.

Edelstein has completely misunderstood this one, but that's okay: many people misunderstand it. This rule doesn't instruct you to send out only first drafts. Once you've written, rewritten, revised, and made your work the best you can ... send it out. After that it's a trap to rewrite it every time it comes back. A waste of time. You've already made the story the best you could or you wouldn't be sending it out, would you? So send it out, and send it out again, until you've hit every reasonable market. Then retire it, as above. The exceptions are: if someone says "I will buy this if you make the following changes," by all means do so. Or, if the story's sat around in your Retired file for a year and you see a way to make it better, you can rewrite it and send it back on its travels. (Or, suddenly an inspiration strikes and the Muse won't let go of your throat until you rewrite the sucker.)

The actual rules:

What works is right.

The reader is king.

A compelling story compellingly told trumps everything.

A story that's submitted may be accepted. A story that's never submitted won't be accepted.

The two rules are: (1) Know where you're standing when you describe a scene, and (2) don't confuse the reader. Of those, the second is the most important.

Remember the rule that when someone tells you that there's a problem at a certain point there's probably a problem, but when they tell you what the problem is, they're probably wrong.

Today I'm going to recco Editorial Anonymous' post on rejection letters (http://editorialanonymous.blogspot.com/2007/04/rules-of-receiving-rejection-letter.html). It has eight rules, but boils down to this: Unless the rejection letter contains specific, constructive, criticism it doesn't mean anything. I'm going to add a bit to that, to say that unless it also contains the word "resubmit" even that specific constructive criticism doesn't mean a heck of a lot.

There are no rules. Only guidelines.

The first, and only, rule is: If it works, it's right. (The next, only a little less-than-a-rule, is: Be interesting.)

The rule is: Don't confuse the reader.

First rule of fiction writing: Be interesting.

English has always split infinitives. But when the Latinate Prescriptive Grammarians came along in the 18th century, to impose the grammatical rules from Latin onto English in order to make English respectable (since Latin was the perfect language) they decided that it was therefore wrong to split infinitives in English.

If you're totally fascinated, double-space after a full stop is sometimes called "English spacing" and single-space after a full stop is sometimes called "French spacing." These long pre-date typewriters. There were also rules about spaces before and after other punctuation marks. As an aside, also dating to the days of hand typesetting, cliches were common phrases cast as single slugs to speed composition.

Rules? In a knife fight? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y87EaadjqM)

There is only one rule: If it works, it's right.

The overriding rule is (all together now!) If it works, it's right.

The rules are: 1) Don't confuse the readers, and 2) Be consistent.

See also Mark Twain on the rules of literary art (http://www.pbs.org/marktwain/learnmore/writings_fenimore.html):

10. [The rules] require that the author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and in their fate; and that he shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad ones. But the reader of the Deerslayer tale dislikes the good people in it, is indifferent to the others, and wishes they would all get drowned together.And the rules of narrative are the same. Fiction, non-fiction -- the difference is in where the lies are coming from.

The rule for any working writer is this: The advance is the only money you're ever going to see.

Rules? In a novel?

First, Florence King, on porno guidelines (http://books.google.com/books?id=0bf97kCBSUAC&pg=PA169&lpg=PA169&dq=%22Florence+King%22+oleaginous&source=bl&ots=meZW4W9HTp&sig=PpoK-hOdNRqyMhenWk7JsTnzIwU&hl=en&ei=ATd4SsC_FcyltgepleWWCQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5#v=onepage&q=&f=false).

Mark Twain's Rules of Writing:

There are nineteen rules governing literary art in domain of romantic fiction -- some say twenty-two. In "Deerslayer," Cooper violated eighteen of them. These eighteen require:

1. That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere. But the "Deerslayer" tale accomplishes nothing and arrives in air.

2. They require that the episodes in a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale, and shall help to develop it. But as the "Deerslayer" tale is not a tale, and accomplishes nothing and arrives nowhere, the episodes have no rightful place in the work, since there was nothing for them to develop.

3. They require that the personages in a tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others. But this detail has often been overlooked in the "Deerslayer" tale.

4. They require that the personages in a tale, both dead and alive, shall exhibit a sufficient excuse for being there. But this detail also has been overlooked in the "Deerslayer" tale.

5. The require that when the personages of a tale deal in conversation, the talk shall sound like human talk, and be talk such as human beings would be likely to talk in the given circumstances, and have a discoverable meaning, also a discoverable purpose, and a show of relevancy, and remain in the neighborhood of the subject at hand, and be interesting to the reader, and help out the tale, and stop when the people cannot think of anything more to say. But this requirement has been ignored from the beginning of the "Deerslayer" tale to the end of it.

6. They require that when the author describes the character of a personage in the tale, the conduct and conversation of that personage shall justify said description. But this law gets little or no attention in the "Deerslayer" tale, as Natty Bumppo's case will amply prove.

7. They require that when a personage talks like an illustrated, gilt-edged, tree-calf, hand-tooled, seven- dollar Friendship's Offering in the beginning of a paragraph, he shall not talk like a negro minstrel in the end of it. But this rule is flung down and danced upon in the "Deerslayer" tale.

8. They require that crass stupidities shall not be played upon the reader as "the craft of the woodsman, the delicate art of the forest," by either the author or the people in the tale. But this rule is persistently violated in the "Deerslayer" tale.

9. They require that the personages of a tale shall confine themselves to possibilities and let miracles alone; or, if they venture a miracle, the author must so plausibly set it forth as to make it look possible and reasonable. But these rules are not respected in the "Deerslayer" tale.

10. They require that the author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and in their fate; and that he shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad ones. But the reader of the "Deerslayer" tale dislikes the good people in it, is indifferent to the others, and wishes they would all get drowned together.

11. They require that the characters in a tale shall be so clearly defined that the reader can tell beforehand what each will do in a given emergency. But in the "Deerslayer" tale, this rule is vacated.

In addition to these large rules, there are some little ones. These require that the author shall:

12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.

13. Use the right word, not its second cousin.

14. Eschew surplusage.

15. Not omit necessary details.

16. Avoid slovenliness of form.

17. Use good grammar.

18. Employ a simple and straightforward style.

Even these seven are coldly and persistently violated in the "Deerslayer" tale.Elmore Leonard's 10 rule of writing (http://www.nytimes.com/2001/07/16/arts/writers-writing-easy-adverbs-exclamation-points-especially-hooptedoodle.html)

1. Leave out the passages that readers love to skip. (Those would be the ones you worked hardest on).

2. Never open a book by describing the weather.

3. Never open a book with a prologue. They are usually boring.

4. Never describe the physical appearance of a character with details that the reader will soon forget.

5. Use exclamation points sparingly.

6. Never use another verb instead of "said."

7. Never use an adverb to modify "said." The tone of the dialogue should be contained within the dialogue itself.

8. Never use a colon or semi-colon in dialogue.

9. Don't change your writing for the critics who know nothing about writing.

10. Tell the editor not to let the copy-editor mess with your punctuation.

Gene Wolfe's rules for writers

Examine your modifiers ruthlessly. What do they add to the story? Cut adjectives, adverbs, similes and metaphors which do not shed light or develop the narrative voice.

Don't repeat yourself.

Give the reader small surprises: moments of humor, delightful metaphors, something that jolts.

Understand your characters. No one is a villain to him/herself. No one is clinically sane if you know them well enough.

Jennifer Crusie's Rules for Romance Heroines (http://www.jennycrusie.com/more-stuff/romance-heroine-don%E2%80%99ts-list/)

George Orwell's rules of writing:

(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
(ii) Never us a long word where a short one will do.
(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.
(v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
(vi) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

They come from "Politics and the English Language (http://www.mtholyoke.edu/acad/intrel/orwell46.htm)." Rules for Writing (http://mumpsimus.blogspot.com/2006/11/rules-for-writing.html)

George Scithers' rules for writers:

1.You have to put it in a form someone can use.

2. You have to make it interesting enough to be worth the editor’s time and the reader’s money.

3. You have to put it where someone can read it and buy it.

That really does cover it. The best writing advice tends to be very simple. It’s using it that’s the trick.Next, Robert Heinlein's Rules for Writing (http://www.gazetteofthearts.com/writer3.htm). (Astoundingly enough, from an address he gave at the US Naval Academy.)

Robert A. Heinlein's Rules of Writing:

1. You must write.
2. You must finish what you write.
3. You must refrain from rewriting, except to editorial order.
4. You must put the work on the market.
5. You must keep the work on the market until it is sold.

---------------------------

That isn't my rule, it's Elmore Leonard's.

But it's also true that many (most?) readers skip prologues.

Okay, now you're going to say, "But I never skip prologues!"

That's great. Just be aware that most readers do skip them. Write your book accordingly.

-----------------------------

On prologues: I've done 'em myself, and I have no doubt I'll do 'em again.

On trade paperbacks: They cost the publisher about 60% of the price of a hardcover to produce, but they only sell for 50% of the price of a hardcover. That is to say, they have the lowest profit margin of any format. If readers have become inoculated against 6x9 trade paperbacks, we may see the end of that format from legitimate publishers.

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The Christian book market is small. I sell my material as straight SF/Fantasy. And if it works on more than one level ... well, the first three Mageworlds books are a refutation of the Manichean heresy.

--------------------------------------

Is she really making money as the author of the website and if so what is the secret of her success?

Is she? It's possible. Why not?

You could ask her what the secret of her success is; she might tell you that she writes niche fiction for a defined audience. That would be my guess.

As to: They may have a point, as professional published authors don’t make a living from their writing.

I do.
By that definition I'm not a professional published author either.

Another part of her strategy might be living in an area with a very low cost of living. That's the route I took myself.

-------------------------------

Making the Author's Big Mistake (http://www.amazon.com/review/R1BA0D6J2GS59/ref=cm_cd_pg_pg1?ie=UTF8&cdPage=1&cdSort=oldest) (ABM).

Folks, do not ever, ever, ever respond in any way whatsoever to a bad review. Just don't do it.

---------------------------------

O well.

Don't do likewise.

---------------------------------

What do I think?

If it works for you, use it. There really, honestly, isn't a magic Plot that works for everyone, or for every book, or for every audience in every time.

Think about different approaches. If a metaphor for the process helps you, go you!

---------------------------------

I love my fans.

They pay my grocery bills.

---------------------------------

I believe the greatest stumbling block that keeps me from writing is that I don't know how to plot a story. Over the last year, I wrote 3/4 of a first draft by the seat of my pants with no outline and only a vague idea where I wanted the story to go. I delighted in letting my characters run amok and was amazed at the creative turns the story took. However, I ended up with rambling manuscript that had no cohesive glue and really no reason for existence.
Take what you have. Read it. Flowchart it. Find the story hidden inside of it.

Sharpen that. Cut the rest. Write more to fill in what's missing. And find what the climax is.

To find the climax: Re-read the opening. What answers the questions your opening asks in a satisfying, yet surprising, way?

No writing is wasted. You've learned one way that doesn't work for you. There are others.

What's your plot?

Here are the basic plots: (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=83815)

Man against man, man against nature, man against himself, and man against God.

The other plots are: "The Brave Little Tailor," "The Man Who Learned Better," and "If This Goes On (or, "What If"). Some say "Reader, I Married Him" is the eighth plot.

Does yours fit one of them?

--------------------------

Book Pr0n. (http://www.theoddshots.com/2009/12/my-book-pr0n/)

Oh, baby!

------------------------

Any truth to this?

No.

And lastly, if this has been applied to two finished novels
(not using contractions) should changes be made?
Did an editor say, "I will buy your book if...."? If not, no.

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Y'all are probably wondering about how much of the market e-books represent.

Here's a partial answer. It's generally considered that among e-books, romance is where it's happening. Now, per Publishers Weekly, we can start assigning some numbers. E-books represent 5.6% of romance novel sales.

That's great. I'll have e-book editions of my works, please: I'm not going to turn my back on 5.6% of my potential readers. But... I'd like the other 94.4% too.

---------------------------------------

So, how am I going to spend my Christmas holidays? By going over the copyedit of Lincoln's Sword.

--------------------------------------

What makes you think that I even read critics of my work, harsh or otherwise?

Critics aren't there for the writers anyway. They're there for the readers. They have their job, I have mine, and theirs has nothing to do with me.

(Just as you should ignore critics, in the same way and at the same time, ignore praise.)

------------------------------------

But in this case, what about constructive criticism?

Do you mean something that came from a beta reader, that I requested? Or something that came from an editor (and is therefore not unexpected)?

Or do you mean random criticism on Amazon or in a magazine somewhere?

----------------------------------

From beta readers and from editors. How do you personally handle the criticism coming from beta readers and editors?

From beta readers, I thank them profusely and sincerely. Then I review the book, remembering that if someone tells me there's a problem they're probably right, but if someone tells me how to fix it they're probably wrong.

From editors, I recall that the comments come in three forms: the ones where I slap my forehead and thank the Power of Publishing that the editor caught it so people will think I'm smarter than I am; the ones that I don't really care about, so I make the changes because that's the guy with the checkbook talking, and the ones that I ignore.

I recall that all of us are on the same team. We're trying to give the readers the best experience that they can have with our book.

Help talk me out of going straight into the revisions, or even writing character bios etc. I really don't want to let this alone now that I have this block of marble...I just want to sculpt...

For the next two months, while this one ages, write a new, different book. One that has nothing to do with the current one. Set in a different time, a different place, with different characters doing different things in pursuit of a different plot with a different climax.

Two months from now you'll have a great start on your next novel, and you'll be ready to approach the editing of the current book with a refreshed eye.

----------------------------------

1) When I write a lot while upset, I worry that I'm going to make my novel veer off in some random direction and mess everything up. Is this an irrational fear?

What happens outside of the novel may well affect what's going on inside the novel. E.G.: Doyle and I (and the kids) had horrible flu and chicken pox while we were writing one of the Circle of Magic books. The main character of that novel turned out to have a fever and be hallucinating for most of that book. The time I wrote a Spiderman book in a week, all of the characters wound up drinking a lot of coffee. Coincidence?

2) How do you deal with distracting stress and emotional factors? Do you ignore it? Do you work it into your writing?Two hours of alone-time with just blank paper can be remarkably soothing.

3) Do you ever decide to set aside your scheduled writing for later if you're having a lot of emotional stuff going on, or do you find that it's best to go ahead and write even if you can't concentrate? Or does experience and having a routine allow you to suddenly ignore that stuff when you need to write? If you let anything stop you from writing, the simple fact is that you've stopped writing. And ... it may come that the way you resolve the problem when you just don't want to write (and those days will come) in the future will be to seek out emotional upset. Do you want to get into that habit? I'm guessing not.

Concentration is greatly overrated. You're going to rewrite and revise anyway. Just get words on paper.

----------------------------

If nothing else, being a novelist turned me into a jackleg psychologist.

-----------------------------

So ....

Everyone finish the Christmas Challenge?

How did the readings go?

-----------------------------

but the characters were really miffed at being in such a short, minor event.So let them play at longer length.

Meanwhile, picked up at Making Light, this: AUDIENCE FOCUS IN HAUNTED ATTRACTIONS (http://www.phantasmechanics.com/focus.html)

Another example of how everything needs to reveal character, advance plot, or support theme.

Anything that doesn't move the story forward holds it back.

---------------------------------

But what if it's funny, interesting or something that seems irrelevant but may provide an inside joke? Suppose a football team, between plays, did comedy sketches?

And suppose they were really funny sketches?

How would the fans feel?

================

Inside jokes are great. I love 'em. I have tons in my books. But if the surface meaning isn't moving the story forward, cut 'em.

---------------------------

Start with a master plan of what's really happening. A Ghod's-eye view. From that you can figure out who knows what and when and why.

-----------------------------

Page 32 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=32)

End of 2009

James D. Macdonald

02-11-2011, 08:37 PM

Beginning of 2010

01-04-2010, 09:38 PM
#809 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4446827&postcount=809)
Page 33 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=33)

Is there some particular reason the readers need to know how the ships are maneuvered? If not, cut all that.

You've done the math, you've worked it out, so the readers will feel your confidence. The angles behind the scenes all meet nice and square. Don't show the back of the house.

----------------------------

Land of Mist and Snow is still in print. I hope it will be re-solicited this coming summer when Lincoln's Sword comes out. It's been out two years now, and isn't likely to be shelved at this moment. It's from a different publisher than The Apocalypse Door. (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm)

The Apocalypse Door isn't part of any series. Please note, too, that The Apocalypse Door is the one and only book written by James D. Macdonald. The others are by Debra Doyle & James D. Macdonald, or by other names.

Nothing is guaranteed. And spending too much time trying to make sense of this business isn't a great use of time. The only thing in your control is the quality of your own work.

-------------------------------

Was only the first book originally written in serial form back and forth as you mentioned before, or were others as well? You mean as a series of letters to our friend in California?

The first book was the only one written that way.

---------------------------------

Any chance you'll write another?

Not only is there a chance, I've got a contract for it, and the publisher has been very patient.

----------------------

How many books do you currently have contracts for?

Counting the one coming out next summer, three.

---------------------

What's the rule on that?

I don't know as there's a rule.

I don't think it's a good idea to post anything other than your best work out where the public can read it, though.

This hasn't stopped me from posting first drafts of stories on-line, or at least first paragraphs or first pages. (I've done it right here in this very thread.) Or even writing a story on line, posting the first-draft pages as I did them. (http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/2006/12/06/ et seq.)

If a book is good enough, prior-publication won't be a bar (or The Adventures of Tom Sawyer would be permanently out of print). Individual agents will have their individual preferences.

(Speaking of "protecting your copyright," though, it's darn difficult to lose your copyright, through things your do or things you fail to do. What you're concerned with here is first publication rights, which mostly concerns the size of the advance. Some publishers only want first-time publication (Never before seen!) rights. It's a complex dance.)

-------------------------------------

Finishing up the copyedit on Lincoln's Sword today.

-------------------------------------

One thing you might do to figure out the prior-publication question is this:

Go to Duotrope.com.

Punch in the stats for your story, and see how many markets there are.

Then try the same search using the "reprints okay" click-box.

Subtract number b from number a to see what kind of difference posting on-line would make.

The stories I have posted on my web page were all previously published, and so would be reprints in any case.

--------------------------------

I get my first set of novel copyedits next week.

Enjoy them as much as possible.

------------------------------

I plan to!

Remember that the copyeditor's job is to make us look smarter than we are.

--------------------------------

A nice inspirational story:

A newbie writer who, as of mid-September last year hadn't even told her family that she was writing, has a three-book deal with the first coming out September of this year.

Also, those perennial questions on these boards:

When Are You A Writer? (http://lisadesrochers.blogspot.com/2009/09/when-are-you-writer.html)
When Are You An Author? (http://lisadesrochers.blogspot.com/2010/01/when-are-you-author.html)

--------------------------

A copyeditor is the next-to-last person to see your book at the publishing house. (The last one is the proof reader.)

The copyeditor's job is to go through the manuscript and check spelling, grammar, facts, and consistency.

If your character was wearing a red necktie on page 34, and a blue necktie on page 58, the copyeditor will flag it and ask if this change was intentional. The copy editor will check to see if the White House was surrounded by a stone wall or an iron fence in 1865. The copy editor will mark the text to bring it to house style (e.g. serial commas). The copy editor may mark the text for the typesetter (e.g. display type for chapter heads).

Bad copyeditors think that what you really wanted was an uncredited co-author, and will correct the grammar in a language you made up yourself, while not noticing that people are using flashlights outside at nine in the morning.

After the copyedit, the author gets a chance to read the manuscript, make any final changes, and either accept or reject the copyeditor's changes (if you reject them, you write "stet" (Latin for "let it stand") in the margin in red pencil).

After the copyedit, the book goes to the typesetter, then to the proofreader. You will get a chance to read the galleys (copies of the finished typeset pages), but any changes you make at this point will be charged to you if they aren't printer's errors (that is, errors introduced in the typesetting that didn't occur in the original manuscript). Thankfully, you usually don't need to know the proofreader's marks for 'upside down letter' or 'broken letter' any more, since no one's using hot or cold lead now. (If, for some reason, the type is being set by hand, you will need to know these marks. Chances of that are slim.)

(Why do we need proofreaders now that everything's all-electronic? I can hear you ask. There was a publisher once who thought that very thing. And a major book came out where ever fortieth letter was shifted to the ASCII symbol exactly twelve places to the right in the table of ASCII values. The book was printed thus, and shipped ... and the entire run had to be recalled, and pulped, and reprinted. The typesetting house went out of business. The publisher lost a great amount of money. That is why you want a proofreader. And when you are reading the galleys (you're going to do that because it's your book), you're going to wish that you'd used underlines instead of italics in your original manuscript.)

How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one; but first they have to rewire the entire building.

How many sales directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: (Pause.) "I get it! this is one of those light bulb jokes, right?"

How many managing editors does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: "You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!"

How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: "Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?"

How many copyeditors does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: "The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors. Is the difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be changed? It seems inconsistent."

How many proofreaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Proofreaders do not change light bulbs. They just query them.

How many marketing directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: "It isn't too late to make this bulb neon, is it?"

How many authors does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: "But why do we have to CHANGE it?"

How many cover artists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: "Why is there...an eggbeater, I think?...sticking out of this light fixture?"

How many publishers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Three-- one to screw it in, two to hold down the author.

----------------

(I know the person who wrote those publishing light bulb jokes. Which led to one of the classic good news/bad news jokes: The editor of The New Yorker loved your latest piece! Unfortunately it didn't have your name on it when it arrived in the email....)

--------------------------------------

I had used underlines in the original manuscript...

And that made finding the places where they'd dropped out of the typeset manuscript really easy (for some values of the word 'easy') didn't it?

----------------

For me, writer and author are synonymous. You're a writer when you're writing.

Anything more complex is just an invitation to Impostor Syndrome.

---------------------------

How much plotting and outlining is too much? When it gets in the way of actual writing, then it's too much.

Outlining can become a form of Writing Avoidance Behavior.

---------------------------

There was a girl who wrote a tale
And vomit was its theme-o.

For those of you who want to read the vomit story, here it is.... (http://www.coyotewildmag.com/spring_2007/content/pelland_dazz.html)

-----------------------------

Each chapter begins on its own page. In the same way, start each part on a new page. Whether you call them parts, acts, or something else ... is your choice.

------------------------------

Uncle Jim,

If you're writing in the third person, and sometimes omniscient, does the rule "Try to avoid as much as possible past tense" apply? Or is it okay to use the past tense as much as you like? I'm talking about using present rather than past.

"Try to avoid past tense" is a rule?

Darn!

Seriously, very few novels are written in present tense.

----------------------------

Past tense:
"I need a carton of milk," Jill said.

"And I need some smokes," Fred replied.

They went to the store.

Present tense:

"I need a carton of milk," Jill says.

"And I need some smokes," Fred replies.

They go to the store.

------------------------------

Under the heading, You Get What You Pay For: Sometimes you don't. Take pay-to-play vanity publishing (http://shilohwalker.wordpress.com/2010/01/22/sorry-mr-weiss-im-not-impressed/), for example.

And yes, the vanity pubs like to bring up the fact that Mark Twain self-published. What they don't mention is that a) before he self-published, Twain was already the best known, best selling, most successful writer in America, and b) he went bankrupt doing it.

-----------------------------------

At what point does a writer stop thinking that they should work to improve? You know that thing about "jumping the shark"? When you stop worrying about improving (or admitting that your writing can be improved), you're in mid-air over Carcharodon carcharias.

How (if they still worry about it) does an experienced writer go about continuing to try to improve?
I can't speak for other writers. For me, it's asking if this is the best story that I can tell, am I telling it in the best way, and are the words the best words? And, I ask myself if the readers are getting full value for their $7.99.

----------------------------

I wish you'd do a workshop for non-fantasy writers. (I think I mentioned that ;) )

All that some workshop organizer has to do is ask.

----------------------------

And that brings me to my point, UJ: how do you write an ending that make readers ponder long after they put down the story?

I wouldn't know.

What I aim for is having the readers say, "Wow, I never saw that coming!" without having them say, "You just pulled that out of your ass, didn't you?"

Such simple things keep me busy. If the readers are left pondering, I want them to ponder "Where can I get more?"

--------------------------

Beginnings are easy to analyze. Endings are far harder, because you'd have to analyze the entire rest of the book to do it well. Did the ending fulfill the promise made by the beginning? Did it tie up the plot threads? Was it both satisfying and appetizing?

Shall we pick a book, all of us read it, and have a semester-long discussion of the ending? For that is what it would take.

"Openings teach you openings. Endgames teach you chess." (http://www.chess-poster.com/english/notes_and_facts/chess_quotes.htm)

-------------------------

Amazon Pulls Macmillan Books Over E-book Price Disagreement (http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/29/amazon-pulls-macmillan-books-over-e-book-price-disagreement/)

That includes my books, including the recent re-issue of The Apocalypse Door (http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ISBN=0765306085/).

I will be removing all links to Amazon.com from all webpages under my control. Barnes&Noble, Powell's, Borders, and Books-a-Million can have what business I bring.

Nor will I ever again buy a book from Amazon.com.

-------------------------------------

Is it just my brain procrastinating or is it possible that there's something wrong with the plot?

Consider seriously that it's your subconscious saying that the plot doesn't work.

(After that, consider that it's your saboteur-self trying to keep you from writing at all.)

Maybe trying a different form of outline?

How about just doing a fast ten-page present tense description of the story? If you have one of those, I can give you tricks for blowing it up into a full novel.

------------------------------------

It's as if my brain refuses to tell me what goes on in the middle of the story. Oh, in that case it's an easy fix.

Just wade in. Think of yourself as trying to make it through a swamp with a machete.

You know where you went in. And you can see, on the horizon, the mountain you're trying to get to. In the middle, there's this swamp. So, you wade through it, swinging your machete, with the mud sucking at your boots.

Yeah, you can get lost. And you will definitely be eaten by mosquitoes. But eventually you'll make your way through that swamp. Don't worry if you only have a vague idea of what's there before you enter.

----------------------------

Update on the Macmillan v. Amazon affair. This was a release from Macmillan's CEO this afternoon:

To: All Macmillan authors/illustrators and the literary agent community
Editors' note: This message ran as a paid advertisement in a special Saturday edition of Publishers Lunch

To: All Macmillan authors/illustrators and the literary agent community
From: John Sargent

This past Thursday I met with Amazon in Seattle. I gave them our proposal for new terms of sale for e books under the agency model which will become effective in early March. In addition, I told them they could stay with their old terms of sale, but that this would involve extensive and deep windowing of titles. By the time I arrived back in New York late yesterday afternoon they informed me that they were taking all our books off the Kindle site, and off Amazon. The books will continue to be available on Amazon.com through third parties.

I regret that we have reached this impasse. Amazon has been a valuable customer for a long time, and it is my great hope that they will continue to be in the very near future. They have been a great innovator in our industry, and I suspect they will continue to be for decades to come.

It is those decades that concern me now, as I am sure they concern you. In the ink-on-paper world we sell books to retailers far and wide on a business model that provides a level playing field, and allows all retailers the possibility of selling books profitably. Looking to the future and to a growing digital business, we need to establish the same sort of business model, one that encourages new devices and new stores. One that encourages healthy competition. One that is stable and rational. It also needs to insure that intellectual property can be widely available digitally at a price that is both fair to the consumer and allows those who create it and publish it to be fairly compensated.

Under the agency model, we will sell the digital editions of our books to consumers through our retailers. Our retailers will act as our agents and will take a 30% commission (the standard split today for many digital media businesses). The price will be set the price for each book individually. Our plan is to price the digital edition of most adult trade books in a price range from $14.99 to $5.99. At first release, concurrent with a hardcover, most titles will be priced between $14.99 and $12.99. E books will almost always appear day on date with the physical edition. Pricing will be dynamic over time.

The agency model would allow Amazon to make more money selling our books, not less. We would make less money in our dealings with Amazon under the new model. Our disagreement is not about short-term profitability but rather about the long-term viability and stability of the digital book market.

Amazon and Macmillan both want a healthy and vibrant future for books. We clearly do not agree on how to get there. Meanwhile, the action they chose to take last night clearly defines the importance they attribute to their view. We hold our view equally strongly. I hope you agree with us.

You are a vast and wonderful crew. It is impossible to reach you all in the very limited timeframe we are working under, so I have sent this message in unorthodox form. I hope it reaches you all, and quickly. Monday morning I will fully brief all of our editors, and they will be able to answer your questions. I hope to speak to many of you over the coming days.

Thanks for all the support you have shown in the last few hours; it is much appreciated.

All best,
John
Posted on January 30, 2010 at 5:28 PM --------------------------------

Uncle Jim wrote, ...I can give you tricks for blowing it up into a full novel.

Oh! Mememe! I'd love to hear about these tricks. Please.

Okay, this is a really stupid trick (but, if something is stupid and it works, it isn't stupid).

Take that ten-page, single-space outline.

You figure that you're going for a 80,000 word novel.

80,000 words is 320 pages in standard manuscript format. You're looking for ten page chapters, so that's 32 chapters.

(Remember, standard manuscript format is Courier New, 12 point, one inch margins all around on 8.5x11 paper. Running head. Single sided. Black on white.)

Now, take that ten page single-space, present tense outline. There are fifty lines per page single spaced. Ten pages is 500 lines. It does not matter to me if you're using 8 point TNR or what the outline is written in.

Thirty-two goes into 500 15.6 times. Starting at the top of your outline, count down fifteen lines. Draw a line across the page with a red pencil between line fifteen and line sixteen. Now count down another sixteen lines. Draw a line across the page. Count down another fifteen lines. Draw a red line across the page. It doesn't matter if the red line divides a sentence in two.

If all goes well, by the bottom of page ten of your ten-pager you will have divided the piece into thirty-two sections.

Each section is the outline for one chapter.

Write each chapter, using only what's between the two red lines.

Each chapter shall be ten pages in standard manuscript format.

If you can't make length, drop back to the middle of the chapter and add paragraphs until you've pushed the last line to the bottom of page ten.

In those cases where you've divided a sentence in two, that's your cliffhanger.

Write a chapter a day. Ten pages, without fail. It's okay to throw any crap on the page that you want. You're going for length. But what happens in that chapter shall only be what was between those two red lines that define the chapter.

In a month you will have an entire novel.

Stick it in your desk drawer. Wait six weeks (during which you write something else) then pull it out, read it, edit it, re-write it, smooth it, and generally do all those things that you'd do with any novel.

"Holy moly!" I can hear you saying. "Does that work?"

"Yes, it does," I assure you. "I've done it. So have others. The Secrets of the Pros revealed."

---------------------------------

It is not enough that I am merely no longer linking to them. I am actively sending people to their competitors.

Changing all the links is a slow process. But it is a necessary one.

I ask all my friends to do their shopping elsewhere and, should the need to link to a book or movie arise, please link to the title at Barnes&Noble or some other non-Amazon retailer.

--------------------------------

Uncle Jim,

This article by the New York Times seems to say that Amazon accepted Macmillan's terms.

http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/31/amazon-relents-in-fight-over-e-book-pricing/

I know that you aren't the CEO of Macmillan, but should I refrain from incendiary posts on other bulletin boards?

Dave

As of this hour, neither the Kindle version of Year's Best Fantasy 9 nor the paperback version of The Apocalypse Door (my two latest from within Macmillan) are available from Amazon.

Screw Amazon. I'm continuing to edit my links to books and movies to point at Barnes&Noble.

There's no "get well" clause in this. Amazon will never get another dime from me, nor will I ever again link to them.

I urge everyone else to help teach Amazon a lesson.

-------------------------------

When you're writing a combat-oriented or military science fiction piece, how much combat is too much? When it overwhelms the story, it's too much.

When the reader gets bored, it's too much.

If the combat supports the theme, advances the plot, and reveals character, it's fine.

(Elsewise, you're asking me "How long is a piece of rope?")

Incidentally, if you personally aren't a combat veteran, please consider getting a beta reader who is.

--------------------------

Asking experts for help with your book (and giving them a nice acknowledgment) is great. And they're all eager to help. They want to talk about the thing they know the best....

--------------------------

What does it achieve? It raises the word-count by one, each time it's used

---------------------------

UJ, apologies if this has been asked before, but what is the life expectancy of a book once it hits bookstores?

Which book in which genre in which bookstore?

Six to ten weeks to see if it sells. One to two years on the shelves if it does. Five years on backlist. Forever if it keeps selling.

-----------------------------

SFWA removes Amazon.com links from website (http://www.sfwa.org/2010/02/sfwa-removes-amazon-com-links-from-website/)

Due to Amazon.com’s removal of many of our authors’ books from its ordering system, we are removing Amazon.com links from our website. Our authors depend on people buying their books and since a significant percentage of them publish through Macmillan or its subsidiaries, we would prefer to send traffic to stores where the books can actually be purchased.

To that end, our volunteers are in the process of redirecting book links to indiebound.org (http://www.indiebound.org/), Powell’s (http://www.powells.com/), Barnes and Noble (http://www.barnesandnoble.com/), and Borders (http://www.borders.com/online/store/Home).

Many authors are being hit hard by this, so we encourage you to seek out new places to find their books.

Edited to add: It is worth noting, that if a book is only available on Amazon, we are leaving the link in place. Our goal is to make sure that it is possible to order our members’ fiction. Hurting authors to make a point about a publishing model is bad business, for anyone.-----------------------------

Gathered from elsewhere at AW (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=141294#post141294):With the exception of some work-for-hire projects, every word in my published books is my own (and my co-author's, of course).

What happens is the editor reads the book, and makes suggestions about changes. These come back to you in the infamous "revision letter."

You go through that, and decide what do to about the requests. Some of them, you slap your forehead and say "Why didn't I think of that?" Some of them it's "Well, why not?" Some of them you say "I see a better way." And some of them you say, "No way." You rewrite the novel with those in mind.

It's still your book. But it's better.

Let me give you an example. In The Apocalypse Door (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/ad_excerpt.htm), the character "Simon" was added as a result of editorial suggestion. But I came up with him, and I added him. And it was the right thing to do.------------------------------

Booksellers from around the country delivered a standing ovation for a publisher battling against a major online retailer. During a opening remarks at the Fifth Annual America Booksellers Association's Winter Institute Program, a comment about Macmillan's stand against Amazon (AMZN) book prices elicited a standing ovation. Standing Ovation for Macmillan at ABA Conference for Amazon Standoff

-------------------------------

Anyone ever start out with a vice to accompany your writing and find that it is now a habit, part of your ritual without which writing is difficult?

That's why I recommend that folks not associate any harmful activities with writing -- smoking tobacco, drinking alcohol, eating sweets -- lest they find that they can't give up the vice without giving up writing.

------------------------------

I don't want to undermine your motivation, but you can download OpenOffice's word processor for free and use it forever, and it does everything WordPerfct does.

But isn't Open Office a Word clone?

Who'd want that?

-------------------------------

I know that I don't have the experience or right to say this, but I am only saying what I observed. So, since J.K. Rowling is a British author, is it OK to use adverbs, and tell and not show there?What J. K. Rowling has is story.

Story trumps everything.

---------------------------

I ran into something fun at Boskone: Drowned Hamlet.

Suppose that, when Hamlet was sent to England with Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern, rather than all the muggery with the letters and the pirates and all ... he drowned. He's dead. Out of the play.

Write a poem, play, or story (or paint a picture) from that alternate version....

------------------------------

Mac?

Wouldn't take one as a gift.

We were talking about WordPerfect.

--------------------------------

WordPerfect uses function keys for some keyboard shortcuts, yes, but the important ones (new, open, cut, paste, save, and print) are all on shortcuts on the letter keys.

Any time I hear people describe what they have to do to start a document in Word, I'm horrified. Why not just start typing?

Then we come to the infinite incompatible versions of Word, and the Word macro viruses, and the weird formatting....

(This is, all, rather aside from the point. If you like X-Y-Write, or Peachtree, and it helps you get words on the page, then go with my blessing and use it the way you like.)

----------------------------

Our story, "Stealing God," which first appeared in this anthology (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/kt_head.htm), and was reprinted in this anthology (http://www.powells.com/partner/34766/biblio/9780886779054?p_ti) and this anthology (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/new_magics.htm), also available in this chapbook (http://www.lulu.com/content/718718), has now been translated into Korean in this anthology (http://www.changbi.com/catalog/content.asp?pBID=3085).

(Those who can't read Korean might try Babelfish (http://babelfish.yahoo.com/). Machine translation. Gotta love it.)

Eventually this may turn into money.

------------------------------------

I'm curious about that last sentence. I'm guessing the foreign sale may not translate to money right away?

The money will eventually come from the editor of the anthology that was translated (this is the entire New Magics anthology). When he gets the payment, which may be quite small, we'll get a pro-rata share of fifty percent of the sale. Thus, much delayed and quite small indeed.

---------------------------------

Reprints are the gift that keeps on giving. More money for no additional work. What's not to like?

---------------------------------

Way...way back... you put up a list of what steps to take to get published.

Was it by any chance this? http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=82300&postcount=13

Found in another thread here at AW (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=172168): Ten rules for writing fiction (http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2010/feb/20/ten-rules-for-writing-fiction-part-one)

Some really excellent stuff.

Oh, and I just posted details of a years' sales of the Crossman chapbook here:

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4659745&postcount=728

Make of it what you will.

--------------------------------------

Uncle Jim,

Is there a way to write telephone conversation? Do we write both sides of the conversation? Or stick with one and put in pauses?

Whose POV are you in?

--------------------------------------

I have the MC's POV who is the one making the phone call.

If you're in the POV of the person making the call, you'll hear both sides.

Next question: Does it work?

Is this the best way to get the information across?

Does it move the story along?

--------------------------------------

When in doubt, have a man with a gun come through the door.

---------------------------------------

Where do you get your ideas? (http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=comic&id=31897&page=1)

---------------------------------------

How about one of Robert B. Parker's Spencer PI novels? Not my genre, but I picked two and read them after Mac posted the notice of Parker's passing.

An excellent suggestion.

I'll be passing a B&N this coming Saturday; I think I'll pick up something by Parker. Then we can get started.

(And I still plan to write that massive post on why art is about limits.)

-----------------------------------------

Acquiring editors, their origin and necessity:

"The weeder is supremely needed if the Garden of the Muses is to persist as a garden." --Ezra Pound

-------------------------------------------

I've picked up an Elmore Leonard novel, $wag (formerly titled Ryan's Rules). Random selection off the shelf at B&N in Manchester, NH.

Two weeks from today, I'll discuss the last chapter.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

Everyone, get a copy and get reading.

------------------------------------------

Yes, Amazon is selling Macmillan books.

(I neither know nor care if they're selling Macmillan ebooks for the Kindle.)

No, I am never again going to link to them or buy from them. Because what they did once (or, actually, three times--once with POD presses in general, and once with Hachette Livre before they tried the same stunt with Macmillan--not to mention the time they "accidentally" removed all GLBT books from their search results) they could do again.

----------------------------

Hi Uncle Jim,

I got this from another forum, and I was wondering if you know anything about this. Curious really.

First, it's totally off-topic for this thread.

Second, it sounds like one more example of the typical Internet-bullshit rumors that come around every six months.

So that's enough about that.

-----------------------------------

Jim:
Couldn't find that Elmore Leonard book in the library in the whole county.

According to http://www.borrowbooks.ie/ the Clare County Library has one copy under the title Swag.

The Cork County library catalog is down.

The Donegal library doesn't have a copy.

The Dublin City Council library has one copy under its original title of Ryan's Rules.

The Fingal Library has one copy under its current title, Swag.

The Galway library doesn't have a copy.

The Kildare County library has one copy under the title Swag.

And that's as far as I checked.

------------------------------

I wrote a 50,000 word "outline" that is now a fantastic 84,000 word detective thriller. It took close to 6 months, mind.

That's about the same ratio of outline-to-novel that I have.

It's time to send that book on its travels and start your next.

(And, while this is going on, read the best detective thrillers that are available to you, the classics and the most recent. And work on your craft. And yet still take long walks observing the world.)

----------------------------------

I think this sort of switching tenses is frowned on by editors nowadays. Am I right?

Only if you do it badly.

(It's incredibly easy to do badly.)

----------------------------------

Does the author have any say in the prices of their books?

None whatever.

-----------------------------------

I should say, generally none whatever. Big Steve King gets input into the cover prices of his books. Famously, on one occasion he insisted that the price of the hardcover be lowered by one dollar. The publisher wept, seeing a million dollars fly out the window, but did it anyway because they saw twenty-three million (minus booksellers' discounts) walking in the door at the same time.

If you routinely sell a million copies of your books, you get a bit more control. I'll tell you what it's like when I get there.

-----------------------------------

Today brought the galleys for Lincoln's Sword (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0060819278).

The cover letter reads:

Dear Debra and James,

Enclosed is your set of first pass pages for Lincoln's Sword.

Please make any necessary changes in the margins. Be sure that you use a bright-colored
pencil and that all changes are legible. Be assured that a professional proofreader
has been assigned to this project, so do not be alarmed if you find typographical
or design errors. Please note that we use the conventions of the Chicago Manual
of Style, 15th ed., and the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 11th ed.,
in matters of grammar, style, and spelling.

Your changes should be restricted to errors of fact, misspellings, and/or typographical
errors. Editing in proof is expensive and can result in charges billed to your
royalty account and cause scheduling delays.

Please return only those pages containing corrections to your editor by Thursday,
March 25, so that we can maintain our schedule and bound-book date.

Thank you.

AVON BOOKS

Managing Editorial Department This was mostly a form letter, as you can probably tell.

But it emphasizes what I told you way back when this thread started: You need a copy of Chicago Manual of Style (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0226104036), and Merriam-Webster's (http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/partner?partner_id=34766&cgi=search/search&searchtype=isbn&searchfor=0877798087). Go get them, if you don't already have them.

A proposito: yesterday brought the cover flats with sales information on the back. I think I'll put them on my web page. I'll tell you when it's up.

-----------------------------

Typographical errors include such things as letters upside down, lines not properly aligned, a different font substituted in for some portion of the book, a duplicated page, a page left blank, and similar things.

Meanwhile:

I've put the information that's on the back of the cover flats at the bottom of the Lincoln's Sword page (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/lincolns_sword.htm).

The cover flats are what the sales people will be taking to bookstores and libraries. It's the cover on one side, and sales information on the other.

----------------------------

I have a separate page for each novel, and for each anthology that has one of our stories.

Please note that for a book with an August release, the sales force is going out now.

I expect that uncorrected proofs are going out to reviewers about now.

------------------------------

There's a point where you won't sell any more copies by lowering the price, so every nickel lower the price goes is just a nickel you'll never see with nothing to show for it. And there's a point where raising the price won't bring in any more money because the customers you lose will offset the extra that those who do purchase bring in.

Publishers have perfect knowledge of a) how many copies my last book sold, b) how many copies books like my book sold, and c) how many copies of books in general they're able to sell. They're in a position to tweak the prices up and down looking for that sweet spot where they're bringing in the most cash. Me, all I know is how many copies my book sold, and I know that months to years down the road.

This is ignoring the fixed costs of acquisition and production, printing and distribution, overhead like office rent and telephones, and the variable costs of promotion and marketing. (Though over in promotion and marketing, there's a point where spending more money won't bring in enough extra sales to justify the expense, too.)

--------------------------

We presume that the publisher is trying to maximize its income through book sales.

You can figure out what the sweet spot is, just by looking at a bunch of cover prices. Paperback originals, between $6.99 and $7.99. Trade paperbacks, $14.99-$16.99. Case-bound, $24.95-$29.95.

------------------------

Jim,
Could you explain what these terms mean?
I assume Case-bound is what I would call "hard-back".

Yes, case-bound is the real name for "hard back." They are meant for bookstore (that is, "trade," as in "book trade") distribution and are whole-copy returnable.

What's a "paperback original"?A paperback original is a book printed and distributed in soft cover that had not previously had a hard cover release. Often a paperback original is a mass market release (intended for non-bookstore outlets, and stripped rather than returned).

And what's a "trade paperback"?A trade paperback is a soft cover book intended for bookstore distribution. It is whole-copy returnable. They are often, but not always, a larger trim size than mass market paperbacks, in order to fit on shelves designed for case-bound books, and because (at least in the early days) they were a way to dispose of extra book blocks that had originally been intended to be bound in hard covers, but instead were being released at a lower price with a cheaper cover.

What's the difference (apart from the price)?Hard v. soft cover, publication history, and whole-copy returns v. stripping.

Of the lot, trade paperback has the smallest profit margin, since it has about 60% of the production costs of a hard cover, but can only be sold for about 50% of the price of a hard cover.

--------------------------

By non-bookstore outlets, you mean what? supermarkets?
Presumably these original paperbacks are also sold in bookstores?

Yes. I mean supermarkets, drug stores, the wire-rack spinner at the bus station, those kinds of places.

Yes, you can find many mass market paperbacks in bookstores (where they are stripped, not returned), but also in bookstores you can find rack-sized trade paperbacks (visually identical to mass market, same trim size and everything) which are whole-copy returnable.

You won't find the rack-sized trade pbs in bus stations, though, since the IDs (Independent Distributors) aren't set up to handle returns at all.

Remember that mass market paperbacks are piggybacking on the newspaper-and-magazine distribution system. No one wants last week's TV Guide or yesterday's newspaper. So, to prove that the issue didn't sell, the distributor takes the issue off the stand, rips off the flag or the cover, and returns that for credit, and drops off the current day's or week's offering.

Think of a mass-market paperback as a single-issue oddly-formatted magazine.

--------------------------

There exists at least one line of books (e.g. Five Star Publishing) that only exists to serve the library market with genre works. These books aren't generally distributed through bookstores.

They're hardcovers, and libraries sign up for a subscription: Five romances, two mysteries, and one SF novel per month, for example. A year later they're sold at library book sales to make room for more. Libraries, too, know about luring in repeat customers with constantly changing stock.

-------------

Elsewhere I've mentioned that you shouldn't associate bad habits with writing, else when you try to break that habit (like give up smoking, or stop drinking alcohol, or whatever you used to do any time you sat down at the keyboard), you'll give up writing too.

There are other destructive things that writers do to themselves. Like watch anyone's career but their own.

You can burn yourself up inside by tracking other authors' sales and advances. Particularly if that other author isn't as good as you are, but sells far better and gets tons more money. So? What can you do about that other than wear up your stomach lining? Nothing. It isn't under your control. Let it go.

Same thing for making plans to win certain awards. Because what'll happen if you don't? Disappointment? Despair? So some other clown got the Pulitzer. Or the Nation Book Award. Or the Howie. Or the Rita. Or got picked by Writers of the Future. Awards are nice when they happen, but they aren't under your control. Let it go.

Or, are you planning to be #1 on the NYT best-seller list? Do you pick up every issue of USA Today to see if your book is on their list? Not under your control. Let it go.

There are two, and only two, things under your control: How well you write, and where you submit your works. Both have the same answer: The Best. Write your best, always, and submit your best to the best markets.

The rest? Not under your control.

--------------------------------

And remember Stephen King's First Rule of Writers and Agents, learned by bitter personal experience: You don't need one until you're making enough for someone to steal ... and if you're making that much, you'll be able to take your pick of good agents.This is true.

It's also true that times have changed so that you have fewer markets for novels that don't require agents. (Or, at least, request agents. Even places that have agented-only policies still have back doors and side paths.)

Mostly, he's talking there about building a reputation with short stories. That's where he started, and it's still a good way to go. No one is going to say, "Hey, look at that short-story writer's Porsche!" but reputation is one of the payments of short stories.

(Oh, and that article is from 1986.)

------------------------

Astoundingly, someone thought it would be a good idea to plagiarize Atlanta Nights (http://authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=18899) over at Authonomy.

------------------------

#1050 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4748609&postcount=1050)
03-16-2010, 08:13 PM
Page 42 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=42)

James D. Macdonald

02-27-2011, 07:20 PM

Page 43 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=43)
Post 1054 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4750355&postcount=1054)
03-17-2010, 09:36 AM

-----------------

That was a direct link. Apparently my "report abuse" report worked.

It was a book called "Savana knights" which was word-for-word identical with Atlanta Nights, in the three chapters that were given.

Meanwhile, the first part of Jim Hines' first-novel survey is out: http://www.jimchines.com/2010/03/novel-survey-results-part-i/

The questions he's addressing are: Do you need to publish short stories in order to sell your novel, and is self-publishing the road to a professional sale?

----------------------

All that previously-published short stories tell us is the answer to this question: Can write at a professional level? (Yes/No)

It doesn't answer the question: Is this book any good?

Write short stories if you like, but don't think they're required.

The Future of Publishing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Weq_sHxghcg), from Penguin UK. (Video)

The Publisher-Dating Dictionary. (http://www.kitwhitfield.com/publisherdating.html)

-----------------------------

Beginning tomorrow, we'll be discussing the last chapter of Swag by Elmore Leonard.

Other than that, I may be a bit scarce. I'm under a hard deadline. The Gates of Time to be laid on Claire Eddy's desk by noon, 16 April 2010.

---------------------------

SPOILERS FOR SWAG BY ELMORE LEONARD, COMING IN THE VERY NEXT POST!

---------------------------

What shall we say about the last chapter of Swag by Elmore Leonard?

First, let us say *SPOILER ALERT*

Next, let us say that I'm not going to retype the entire last chapter.

Now: *SPOILER ALERT*

The novel has gone from chapters that are all one long scene in a single viewpoint, to chapters with two scenes, to switching viewpoints, until we arrive at the last chapter which is a collection of short scenes -- some as short as two paragraphs, a dozen lines.

The effect is of increasing pace and frenetic activity. So let's look at those scenes one at a time. Chapter 28.....

First scene is in the courtroom. Characters are Stick, the "fat black prosecutor," Cal Brown (a cop), and a judge.

This is the same cast of characters that we saw in Chapter One. The cop there didn't have a name, but there was a cop who liked to show his firearm, just like Cal does. Missing is Frank Ryan.

The outcome of this scene is the same as the outcome of Chapter One. Once again, Stick walks because the prosecution doesn't have a case. This time it's in less than two pages, though, as compared to the seven pages that the exact same plot arc, with the same characters, took in Chapter One. We've been on this merry-go-round before; no need to over-explain. The readers have the picture. Rather than a chapter break, we get a line break. The pace isn't slowing. And the Courtroom arc is now complete. We end Chapter One in a courtroom, we begin Chapter 28 in for-all-practical-purposes the same courtroom. We know, because we've been watching for well over 200 pages, what came after the first appearance. The author is implicitly promising us Something Different.

Second scene is a tad over one page (that is, shorter than the first scene). We're close in on Stick, who has been our main character throughout the book. Stick is talking to Arlene on the phone (Arlene who has mostly been physically separated from Stick throughout the book, by her travels, and later by her hiding). Stick is laying out the plan for her, for the getaway. We're reworking Chapter 2 here. Chapter 2 had Stick and Frank, with Frank explaining his plan to Stick. Now Frank is the one who doesn't know the plan, while Stick is the one who knows what's going to happen. We've learned that Stick is very good at making plans; we trust him. We've seen him come out of some bad situations through his ability to plan. Looks like he's going to make it, and Crime Will Pay.

(BTW, just so folks get the idea of the stakes, $87,000 in 1975 (when this book was written) would be worth well over $300,000 today. Which explains why Stick doesn't just say, "Well, that didn't work" and walk away.)

The second scene ends with Stick saying "I don't see how we can miss," which tells me he never read the Rules for Evil Overlords. This is the author telling the reader, "The plan won't work." That's foreshadowing. Now the reader will see how the plan doesn't work. We're anticipating it. (Ten pages to go!)

The third scene is with Arlene. She's ending her old life, and she's taking care of her end of the plan. She wishes she had some Ajax to clean the stain from the bathtub, which might symbolize her desire to become clean herself; the stain came from her participation in the robbery. How can she remove that stain? She's leaving her old life behind--her life symbolized by the life-size cardboard cutout of herself. She's leaving herself (and her old life) behind.

Fourth scene is very brief. Third person limited, Stick's POV, and closing off the Frank and Stick Apartment plot-arc. It's a little bit of housekeeping, and answering the readers' question, What About the Apartment? before it's asked.

Fifth scene: We're with Cal Brown, the cop, now. He first appeared about half-way through the book, and has been getting more and more scenes, action, and dialog as the novel's progressed. He's still reactive to Stick's action, but he's beginning to take action himself. Just over a page to this scene. A transition scene, taking Stick and Frank to the airport, where they're planning to go to Florida (tying off the I'm Going to Florida plot arc that's been overriding the entire rest of the novel. What does Stick want? To go to Florida to see his daughter.

Sixth scene: Frank and Stick argue about where to park the car, a car that they both know they're never going to come back to recover. This echoes the Frank-and-Stick- and-the-Car bit from Chapter One, and keeps us tight in on our protagonists.

Seventh scene: Tying up the Arlene plot arc. Arlene decides at the last minute that she's not going to Florida, she's going to California (and "going to California" has been thoroughly planted throughout the book, only it's always been Frank who had been in, and might return to, California). We're allowed to think that she's absconded with the cash. And hey, if she has, the cops really have nothing on Frank and Stick. Easy come, easy go, even if there were six dead men in between. That would return the board to the condition it had been in before the book started: And that's an unsatisfactory ending. This scene has a great closing line: Arlene walked over to the American counter.

And that's the half-way point in the chapter as far as page count. It's the little hinge.

Eighth scene: It takes Frank and Stick from the parking garage, through the ticket line, and up to the point where they're arrested. But the arrest won't stick, not with what the cops have, not with what they can prove, and, if Arlene had done what Stick told her. His plan is still running, but ... we the readers know that Arlene's gone off the plan. Now we don't know what'll happen. Five pages to wrap this up.... this scene is one of the longest in the chapter, at two full pages. And it ends with an even stronger last line: The state policeman said, "Pick up your bag, buddy, now."

Ninth scene is slightly longer, making it the longest in the chapter. We have Frank, Stick, and Cal, alone in a room with the suitcases that Cal is certain contains the swag, but we, Frank, and Stick know don't. Here's real climax of the book: two words. A note from Arlene: I'm sorry.

Scene ten, less that a page, as the author hustles everyone off stage and ties up the couple of loose ends: Cal arrests Frank and Stick; Frank and Stick walk out of the airport in handcuffs.

There are a couple of very strong lines in this scene, though. Frank saying, "Whose fault is it, mine?" And we the readers know that the answer is yes. Frank came up with the idea of becoming armed robbers. And Frank brought about their downfall by breaking every one of the rules he came up with in Chapter 2, and which we saw written as an explicit list on the very first page of Chapter 3 (thus tying off the entire Ryan's Rules plot in a neat bow).

And the last line of the book is dynamite: Stick said, "Frank, why don't you just shut the fuck up?"

(In 1975 this line would have been even stronger: Not too long before, the word "fuck" had been quite literally unprintable.)

Had Stick said that to Frank at their first meeting, Stick (petty thief by trade) wouldn't be staring at six counts of murder with special circumstances. Instead ... we have the moral, Crime Does Not Pay, and we're out of the book and done.

-------------

Discussion to follow. What did y'all think about the ending of Swag?

-------------------------

Okay, who else read Swag? Any thoughts on the ending?

--------------------------

Stick. We find out that he got seven-to-twenty for armed robbery, so the Detroit cops and that prosecutor screwed that up too.

The first chapter is here (http://www.elmoreleonard.com/index.php?/novels/excerpt/stick1/).

--------------------------

Frank and Stick have run opposite character development, one rising, one falling. They start at the same place (in the used car lot) with one a businessman and the other a thief, yet they end at the same place, literally handcuffed together.

---------------------------

Sent back the galleys for Lincoln's Sword today.

---------------------------

I'd say that any synopsis should reveal the ending. One of the things the agent/editor wants to know is "Does this clown know how to end a book or does everyone get run over by a truck?"

There's nothing wrong with doing a one page, a three page, and a ten page synopsis. (All single spaced, all present tense.) Then pull out whichever one is most appropriate when the agent/editor/whoever requests it.

---------------------------

A specific agent's guidelines trump any amount of general advice... for that agent.

--------------------------

David Mamet on creating scenes. (http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/2010/03/david-mamets-brilliant-memo-on-drama.html)

------------------------

The take-away lesson is that all scenes need to be there for a reason, and the reason has to be in support of the reader's experience, not for the convenience of the author.

--------------------------

In a novel, would you rule out any scene where two characters discuss a third?

No. I wouldn't rule out any scene.

This is an art. There are no rules, nothing is cast in concrete. You'll find a confusing and contradictory web of suggestions, guidelines, and hints.

But you, the artist, have to make the final decisions.

--------------------------------

Are they characters, or just referenced?

If you are just mentioning them in passing...no problem.

---------------------------------

I really don't see an issue.

---------------------------------

Uncle Jim, I have a question completely unrelated to writing. How do you think that the recent health care reform is going to affect you, if at all?

In addition, how do you think it will affect other midlist authors?

If they ever get around to a public option it will be tremendously freeing. Entirely too many authors (and not just mid-listers) have "Don't get sick" as their health plan.

----------------------------

Why we put running heads on our manuscripts.... (http://torforge.wordpress.com/2010/04/05/before-production-went-paperless/)

-------------------------------

Tor turns 30 (http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/456059-Opening_New_Doors.php)

--------------------------------

"Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible."
--Anthony Hope

---------------------------------

How complex is too complex? Does it confuse the reader?

Be aware that the line between archetype and cliche can sometimes be vanishingly thin....

--------------------------------

What do I think? Without reading the work in question, there's nothing I could possibly think. Is it done well? Does it work?

Do it. When it's done, then you'll know the answer.

I'm going to quote Watt-Evans' Law of Literary Creation (http://www.watt-evans.com/lawsoffantasy.html): There is no idea so stupid or hackneyed that a sufficiently-talented writer can't get a good story out of it.

And with that, Feist's Corollary: There is no idea so brilliant or original that a sufficiently-untalented writer can't screw it up.

===========

For reasons that I won't go into here, I recently found myself re-reading Raymond Chandler's The Simple Art of Murder. One thing struck me about the essay: He complains that hacks are taking over popular fiction and getting more shelf space and attention than serious writers. The essay was written in 1950.

-----------------------------------

We've seen the same complaints right here in the Novels board, from folks ranging from aspiring writers on up. It doesn't seem to matter where in the publishing food chain someone's located.

-----------------------------------

Where can I find out more about these myths and, maybe, a complete list?

Two places. I think we've mentioned both over the years:

The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell, and the Stith Thompson folklore motif index.

---------------------------------

Look deep within yourself, Euclid. What satisfies you emotionally?

----------------------------------

Turned in The Gates of Time. Woo hoo! Go me!

Next book, starting Monday, is City of Dreadful Night, an Orville Nesbit adventure.

------------------------------------

I'm promoting Orville from a couple of short stories ("Ecdysis" and "A Tremble in the Air"). He's a psychic investigator.

-------------------------------------

There's also Curious Myths of the Middle Ages by Sabine Baring-Gould, which has a lot of good stuff. Let's not forget The Golden Legend. And Grimm's Teutonic Mythology.

Meanwhile, an actual photo of me turning in the book: http://mist-and-snow.livejournal.com/35367.html#cutid1

--------------------------------

Speaking of archetypes and cliches, as we just were, here is the Fantasy Novelist's Final Exam. (http://www.rinkworks.com/fnovel/)

------------------------------------

I like to start with The Moment Everything Changes (though that could come anywhere in the first chapter, not necessarily in the first line of the first paragraph).

Just to show what a maverick I am, the latest book I turned in a) is in first person, b) started with the protagonist waking up in bed, and c) moved from there to a weather report.

Why?

Just because I could.

--------------------------------------

Hconn: That is a good thing. Do it! Break every rule! Make it work, and make me love it.

There's nothing that stokes creativity more than constraints.

--------------------------------------

You can have startling results by putting your story on a technological watershed. For example, a Western in which one character has a horseless carriage, or another character has a broomstick Mauser.

Right now, living in this world, there are people living at every level of tech, from 21st century to stone-age.

Before you start building worlds, first know your own.

---------------------------------------

There's guns, and then there's guns. There's 15th century tech guns, and there's 20th century tech guns.

I'd kinda have a problem with an 18th c. wind-powered ship mounting a 25mm chain gun, if the rest of the society was 18th c. On the other hand, there are wind-powered pirate ships today, with pirates who carry shoulder-launched missiles.

Incidentally, we don't mostly use baling wire any more. These days it's baling twine. But somewhere in the world some folks are using baling wire, and somewhere else in the world some folks are using scythes and pitchforks to build haystacks.

----------------------------------

Go, you!

----------------------------------

I was too much in denial it was the next fad after harry potter, not to mention my hate fro the classic over used orc and elves.

The Lord of the Rings had its day as a fad before J. K. Rowling was born.

And who do you think invented the orcs (and popularized the elves) that everyone else ran into the ground?

------------------------------------------

Is it ok to briefly describe characters in passive if it feels better than just showing it in shallow chit chat type dialogue?

It's okay when it works.

And don't have a reflexive horror of passive voice. It's useful.

----------------------------------------

http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=blog&id=59268Tor.com welcomes original short SF and fantasy, broadly defined. We’re particularly interested in stories under 12,000 words, although we’ve made exceptions in the past and will do so again. We pay 25 cents a word for the first 5,000 words, 15 cents a word for the next 5,000, and 10 cents a word after that. Although we try to employ common sense in dealing with edge cases, “original” means original—not previously published. Contrary to some previous reports, we do not want you to query first; to submit to Tor.com, just send us your story. Stories should use standard manuscript format and be emailed as Word, RTF, or plain-text attachments. Stories sent inline in the body of an email will be ignored. Questions? Send them to tordotcomsubs@gmail.com-------------------------------

The man ran for cover. As he approached the fence the author put out a hand to stop his flight.

"Where do you think you're going?" the author asked.

"Up and over that fence, if it's all the same to you," the man replied, panting.

"You're planning to confuse your motion, horizontal and vertical, in a single sentence?"

"I'm planning to avoid getting shot," the man replied. He waved his hand vaguely in the direction whence he had come. "The whole bloody Tenth Guards Army is back there and they aren't in a laughing mood."

"You're safe as long as you're with me," the author said. "This is first draft--I can do anything."

"Anything?"

"Yes."

"Then get me over the fence, pronto."

Without seeming to move, with no consciousness of the passage of time, the man found himself on the other side of the fence.

"Wait a bloody minute!" he said. "How did you punctuate that?"

"Either with a comma, or without one, depending on the sentence rhythm," the author said. "You were running--no comma I think. Just sprinting in a headlong pell-mell dash."

"Do you mean to say that the rules of grammar--"

"Are just guidelines. Yes."

"But which is correct?"

"The one that sounds right. Here, have comfit."

"What's a comfit?"

"Dried fruit, nuts, or spices enclosed in sugar candy. Like Jordan almonds. Why? Don't you know the word?"

"No, I didn't."

"I'll fix it in the second draft," the author said. "Maybe I'll offer you a nice slice of fruitcake."

"But what about the punctuation question?" the man insisted.

"I don't like the version with the semicolon," the author said. "Of the others either could be correct depending on the sentences around them."

"I just used a 'said' word that isn't 'said' and you didn't notice."

"So you did," the author replied. "I noticed but didn't care. You want rules? Aren't any."

A bullet zinged by the man's head; the author had vanished.

"At least I got over the bloody fence."

The man ran for the safety of the trees.

----------------------------

Author putting off writing. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V16h6Li1jfc) (And you thought we made this up.)

----------------------------

It was, in fact, one jump away from an article about book covers. (The article had a link to a Youtube video; the cat vacuuming was a 'related' video which ... well.)

I have a good memory. When I find things, I know where to file them.

------------------------------

I still owe y'all a big post on how art requires limits.

--------------------------

Your beta readers will tell you if you're doing it wrong.

---------------------------

Stuart was out running around collecting supply wagons, rather than doing scouting and security.

Way back in LWWUJ Part 1 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6710&page=48), I recommended this book, and quoted a bit from it to illustrate a couple of techniques.

I allude to Gettysburg in Land of Mist and Snow. I'd originally planned to have a Gettysburg scene in Lincoln's Sword (going so far as to research the phase of the moon--the moon was full that night), but it didn't fit in the final work.

------------------------------

The only good reason not to use the last scene from the previous book as a prologue is that many (most?) of your readers will skip it.

Why not write the sequel as if it were the only novel you'll ever write? Put in the backstory exactly as you put in the backstory in the first book. It's a sequel, not a two-part novel, right?

Readers need remarkably little backstory. Just tell this story, make it good, and they'll love you for it.

-------------------------------

Hey James, is it ok that my 1st Novel ends in a MAJOR cliffhanger, I remember way back in volume one how the book must end in a satisfying way?

Yes, your book must end in a satisfying way.

Major cliffhangers ... I wouldn't. Intriguing directions for further developments, yes. Fine. But the end of the novel should (in my opinion) be like getting to camp after a long hike. Sure, there are other trails into the bush, but, for now, it's done.

Jim,

I hope this hasn't been answered before, if so, I apologize. My question is how do you stay organized when you are writing? Do you personally outline? Keep note cards?

I write very extensive outlines (about 3/4 the length of the finished novel). I also use file cards (character notes; eye color, etc., as they develop during the writing of the book). File cards keep scenes in order (and can be shuffled to re-arrange the scenes if necessary).

And generally I flow-chart too.

And, I realize that first drafts are still fluid documents. If something changes wildly, go with the new direction to see where it goes.

------------------------------------

This is something that I have trouble with: once a draft is on paper/on the screen, I have a much harder time making big changes.

You make the big changes when it's still an outline.

------------------------------------

And in real outline format, not a synopsis?

Depends on what you mean by "real outline format" doesn't it? Mine is like telling a friend about a really neat movie I saw last night, with bits of dialog and scenes sketched in. And occasional silly things (like, for no apparent reason, Harry Houdini escaping from a milk jar filled with maple syrup, and the entire saga of Lady Fitzearl, a character from the Circle of Magic series who appeared in a lot of scenes, but never even made it into the finished draft).

Damn, guy! That's like writing two books!Why not? What did I have to do today that was more important?

-----------------------------

Publishing Information Sites for Beginning Authors (http://www.marthawells.com/writingguide.htm)

------------------------------

Not a real outline...

Oh, the "Outline" as we were taught in high school?

I'm sure that someone, somewhere, uses that roman numeral, capital and small letters, Arabic numbers, yet more roman numerals monstrosity, but I sure don't and I don't think I know anyone who does.

(Actually, I once ran into a writer who used Powerpoint to create an outline, but what they hey, right? Anything to get you through the night.)

For the "real outline," if you used that, I expect that you'd chuck it out before you got to the end of actually writing Chapter One. Things move in writing that only the telling of them will make clear.

But if it works for you, by golly, do it.

---------------------------------

Until now I decided to actually write (I despise my lacking motivation)

I am having trouble making an opening scene (When you show the scenery and then proceed to the dialogue), whatever I write looks weird, could it possibly my newbie writing phase where I think everything I write is garbage? or could I be in error?

O, my very dear friend. You are worrying too much. Write your scene any way you care to, and move on. As to whether or not what you've put on the page today will be the first scene ... is a question best left 'til the second draft. The opening scene may be something that occurs in chapter three, and this scene you're worrying about so much deleted and relegated to your desk drawer. Or you may find that you need to write other chapters that come before, and this scene that you think is the opening is instead an incident in chapter three.

Right now, write. Carry forward. Three hundred odd pages from now, you'll be a better writer and the questions that vex you so much right now will have obvious solutions.

In the hills at the outskirts of the village, a girl arrives at a poorly built shack. Also, quick question about that, is the comma not supposed to be there? (I have to get this doubt out of my head where I think there should be a comma, but there is actually no reason for there to be one.The comma may or may not be there. Later, when you read your entire book aloud, the answer will come to you.

Do not worry about commas now. Yes, try to be as correct as you can. But the stage for putting in a comma in the morning and taking it out in the afternoon comes much, much later.

What you have there is a classic opening, much like pawn to king four: A person in a place with a problem. Carry on.

The only thing that might trouble your sleep is that you're telling your story in present tense. That's okay (even common) for outlines, but not so much for novels. It can be done, and done well. But it is difficult.

Uncle Jim,

Did you ever have thoughts of throwing in the towel and just resigning yourself to a simple day to day job?

Long ago I decided that I would never again work for someone.

Still, health insurance would be nice....

I think I finally got up enough nerve to seek publication for a short I wrote. It still needs work no doubt about that, but I'm going to do it.

Do the work, then send it out 'til Hell won't have it.

Meanwhile, write another story.

----------------------------------

But still, living off doing what you like most has to compensate for the health insurance...

Yeah, right up to the moment you get sick or injured.

------------------------------

Have you ever read your own work--before publication--and said, "That's good."

"Damn, that's good!" is where I end up.

But it usually takes some aging in the desk drawer to get there.

-----------------------------

Okay. So I think the book is about ready. Betas have all loved it, and I'm really happy with it. I want to read through it once more for a final check on everything. Should I age it, or just go for it now?

Okay, read it through once more, then out the door.

After that, the only time you'll rewrite is if an editor says, "I'll buy this if...."

Good that you're working on another book. Less good that it's a sequel. If the first book never sells there won't be a sequel. So write it so it can be a stand-alone.

-----------------------------

Page 50 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154203&page=50)
Post 1226 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5078175&postcount=1226)
06-23-2010, 08:52 PM

Is my concern unfounded?

The typical book -- isn't typical. So there aren't really any right choices here. My best advice is to write the book you're passionate about.

-----------------------

Lincoln's Sword (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/lincolns_sword.htm) should be hitting bookstore shelves one month from today.

It's more useful to me if y'all go and buy it off the shelf. It'll encourage bookstores to ... shelve more of 'em.

Let's say, hypothetically, one agent signs me and then wants the second book. I made sure the first one will leave an open door, so to speak. The problem is, I only have the first chapters of the second book but I really want to continue the book from another series. Should I focus on the sequel or on the other book? Which would be best for long term?

That is a question that you should be bringing up with your agent, not with me. Hypothetically, when he/she signs you.

That's because the agent will have your actual manuscript on the table, and will have an idea of where this manuscript can be sold, and whether that house would want another (continuing a potential series.)

While waiting for the potential agent to call, however, I would write an entirely different book. Because what will you do if no agent agrees to represent this book?

------------------------

Look forward to it, and it better be good

Oh, it is good. Trust me. You'll need to buy ten or twenty copies because it's just that good.

Meanwhile, found elsewhere: http://copperbadge.dreamwidth.org/268487.html

In 1889, a literary agent named J.M. Stoddart, representing the American publication Lippincott's Magazine, sat down to dinner with two young writers in London and asked each of them to submit a novel for publication in Lippincott's.

The results (http://magazinehistory.blogspot.com/2008/11/successful-literary-dinner-lippincotts.html) were:

The Sign of the Four, by Arthur Conan Doyle
The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde--------------------------

Uncle Jim, Let's say you placed a 50-page partial, waited the requisite amount of time, asked about the status after that, and was told that the editor was reading it that week. It's now been 2-3 weeks later and still no word Yea or Nay or asking for a full.

What is one to do?

Should I resolve to pass the ms on to the next publisher on the list and simply accept that this one rejected it without comment?

It's summer in New York. Nothing will happen until after Labor Day.

-----------------------

Incidentally, we're at Readercon (Burlington MA) this weekend.

We have a signing today at 15:00 (3:00 pm) today, and a reading tomorrow at 1430 (2:30 pm).

We'll be reading a chapter from Lincoln's Sword and a chapter from Arkham Ambulance (our work in progress).

---------------------------

That makes me think of a novel involving Sherlock Holmes and Dorian Gray.

Sherlock Holmes in The Case of the Pernicious Portrait.

While John Watson, MD, marries, Sherlock searches for a new roommate. He finds one in Dorian Gray, a handsome young man. They fight crime with style.

When the Martians invade it's up to Sherlock and Dorian to save the Queen.

-----------------------------

We've put a new cover (http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-confessions-of-peter-crossman/11723136) on The Confessions of Peter Crossman over at Lulu.com.

Alas, the on-line version of the cover doesn't look as good as the thing does in its physical-objectitude.

------------------------------

Watson: Holmes, let me ask you a question. I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but... there 'have' been women in your life, haven't there?
Holmes: The answer is yes...
Watson: [Watson breathes a sigh of relief]
Holmes: ... You're being presumptuous. Good night.

-- The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066249/)

Meanwhile, for your enjoyment, and for those times when you can't think of the perfect compliment (http://www.madsci.org/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/%7Elynn/jardin/SCG)....

------------------------------------

Here's a nice typing game. Improve your touch-typing accuracy!

http://dan-ball.jp/en/javagame/typing/

--------------------------------------

When is the ideal time to give a WIP such a rest?

Never before you finish it.

Your "rough draft" may in fact be a "strong outline."

Give it a rest after you've finished making the tweaks you noticed in progress.

---------------------------------------

A day in the life of a bookseller.... (http://news.shelf-awareness.com/ar/theshelf/2010-07-13/notes_from_an_er_bookseller.html)

-----------------------------------------

It's a big percentage, I have no doubt.

If a book sells a million copies, it's time to break out the champagne. If a TV show has a million viewers it's canceled by the end of the week because of low ratings.

----------------------------------------

I've put another of our short stories on line:

Uncle Joshua and the Grooglemen (http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/L_UncleJoshua.htm)

This story (originally in Bruce Coville's Book of Monsters, 1993, reprinted in New Skies, 2003) eventually turned into the novel Groogleman. An audio version also exists.

---------------------------------------

Why didn't they go back home? Seems a bit thoughtless; wouldn't the other Henchards have been worried?

They didn't go back home because the Grooglepersons knew where they came from and would look for them there.

-------------------------------------

Those "stats" are from Dan Poynter, a self-publishing enthusiast. You should take them with ... well, those that aren't deliberately misleading are accidentally misleading.

--------------------------------------

Seriously:

70 percent of books published do not earn back their advance.

70 percent of the books published do not make a profit.Yeah, it's probably true that 70 percent don't earn out. That's actually a failure rate of 30%: If the publishers had their way 0% would earn out. They set the advance to equal the book's predicted lifetime royalties. They don't want to have to cut checks.

The next 70%, "do not make a profit" is just a misunderstanding of that last 70%. Books make a profit long before they earn out.

Also:

A successful fiction book sells 5,000 copies. Yeah? Well, I'm just a shaggy-ass midlist writer, but every darned one of my 30+ novels, by that standard, has been wildly unbelievably successful. So have the books of my writer friends. I don't know anyone whose sales are that low. Do I, just by chance, only know people who are out on the far edge of the bell curve, or is this statistic not really what it seems to be?

(The source of that is given as the Author's Guild, and I recall their report on the midlist, but it's no longer on their web page, so I don't know exactly what this referred to. Since this was filtered through Dan Poynter, I have my doubts. His deal is trying to prove that you can't succeed with commercial publishing so you might as well self-publish.)

---------------------------------

Herman Melville had notoriously bad handwriting.

------------------------------------

So this guy goes to the doctor, and the doctor says, "You're going to have to stop masturbating."

And the guy says, "Why?"

And the doctor says, "I'm trying to examine you."

-------------------------------------

Of the two I'd go with the first.

---------------------------------------

Most of those answers are kept deep in corporate vaults.

I can tell you that while the industry is driven by best-sellers it's supported day-to-day by okay-sellers.

My guess is that there's a fairly smooth curve. Until the bottom. Then the sales numbers drop off a cliff.

And I can tell you what the mid-list is. It's the part of the catalog between the front list and the back list.

Front list is the front of the catalog. The back list is the back of the catalog. The mid-list is everything in between.

(One reason the mid-list is vanishing is that the publishers have broken their lists into more and more imprints, so there are more front lists. Same number of books, just more lists.)

------------------------------

Quick brown fox jumps over lazy yellow dog. Film at Eleven. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00E_LVo_aTo)

------------------------------

Uncle Jim, friends,

I'm getting my ducks in a row now. Last night I finished my last read through my manuscript and it's time to try and get an agent for it. I'll be searching back through this and the previous thread for what I need to do, but any current advice is always welcome.

You might consider sending your query letter through Query Letter Hell here. Other than that, remember, it's a business letter. Spelling counts. Particularly when you're spelling the name of the agent.

Best of luck.

And start your next book right now, if you haven't already done so.

______________

Meanwhile, I am vastly pleased to report that Atlanta Nights (http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/atlanta-nights/117402) has its own page at TV Tropes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AtlantaNights).

At one time I was sad because so few of our books are mentioned at TV Tropes. "Sigh!" I sighed. "No one's read them! No one's loved them!"

But then it occurred to me that the reason so few are mentioned is because we've stayed away from cliches. So, go me!

-------------------------------------

Lincoln's Sword made the front page of today's Union Leader TV, Arts & Entertainment section, with a full-color cover. Continued on page 19, with an author photo. Annoyingly, they say that we've written 13 novels (real number is 24 under our own names, 36 if you count pseudonyms).

Alas, that isn't in the on-line edition. But! The interview and author photo is opposite the TV listings so it's likely to be seen.

Where did this come from? From my publisher, of course. It was all arranged through HarperCollins' publicity department.

----------------------------------

The industry is changing! Hah!

Presented for your entertainment is advice for writers from 1907 (http://www.archive.org/details/practicalguidefo00boot). See how much looks like it could have been ripped from the top ten threads in this very board....

----------------------------------

Well, except for the part about paying advanced royalties being "unsound" and mostly being driven by publishers who produced "ephemeral literature". The author suggests that the serious author should stay away from such publishers.:)

And perhaps serious authors still should.

He's worried that the publishers will bankrupt themselves by making a series of bad bets, and then (as now) having your publisher go bankrupt is bad for your career. Myself, as a proud producer of ephemeral literature, I'm all for advances.

I note that Herman Melville accepted an advance for Moby-Dick. Of course, his publishers expected another blood-and-thunder nautical adventure, full of cannibals and bare-breasted native beauties (such as had already made Melville a best-seller), not ... Moby-Dick.

Sometimes, when what you want is ephemeral literature, what you get is a classic.

Do you think that would have the power to pull the reader out of the story in that instance?

Any thoughts?

Maybe?

Does running the three sentences in French advance the plot, reveal character, and support the theme? If so, do it.

If not, ask yourself why you're doing it.

I've read that electronically submitted manuscripts (such as an email attached RTF) should not include headers. If the recipient does not specify, is it safe to assume this is acceptable?

If they don't specify, don't include the headers. Do make sure your name and contact information is the very first thing in the file.

They'll be reformatting the text for whatever kind of reader they use.

The reason for using RTF is because it's most easily transferable to the greatest number of word-processing programs and text-reading devices.

----------------------------------

Remember the mantra: Never Confuse the Reader. It goes hand in hand with Never Bore the Reader.

If you can follow those two guidelines, a future in commercial fiction can be yours.

-----------------------------------

Do you want to know the Next Hot Thing?

Steampunk novels.

------------------------------------

The movies Mad Max and Waterworld -- are they steampunk?

How about the YA book(s) Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve?

No. Post-apocalyptic.

------------------------------------

The really good books will always find publishers. (If you wrote a dynamite Nurse Novel today, it would get bought.)

The really bad books will never find publishers. (Unless the author pays and gets a garage full of unsold and unsaleable tomes.)

The bloody hand-to-hand fighting is in the trenches of the nearly-good books. While a genre is the Next Hot Thing, the cutoff line between salable/not-salable is lower in the ranks of the mediocre.

While horror was the Next Hot Thing, a fair number of novelists made a living selling horror books. When the horror boom ended they found that they could no longer sell, even though their new manuscripts were every bit as good as their previous works.

That's what it means for a genre to be the Next Hot Thing.

------------------------------

Imagine the spectrum.

Imagine that blue is Really Good And Will Be Snapped Up. Imagine Red is Really Bad and Won't Ever Sell.

There's going to be a line somewhere on that spectrum. Books to the blue side will sell. Those to the red side won't. The exact location of that line keeps moving. You want to be on the blue side of that line.

Right now the line is shifting redward on Steampunk.

(By the way, there isn't a smooth curve on book sales. At a certain point, and that point is closer to the blue side than you'd believe, sales don't dwindle -- they drop off a cliff. You totally don't want to step across that line.)

------------------------------

There are actually more publishing slots in a given year than there are good books written in that same year.

The existence of mediocre books on the shelves of your local bookstore is proof of this.

----------------------------

Being better than Hemingway and Fitzgerald put together sure wouldn't hurt.

Remember Watt-Evans' Law of Literary Creation (http://www.watt-evans.com/lawsoffantasy.html): There is no idea so stupid or hackneyed that a sufficiently-talented writer can't get a good story out of it.

And time spent writing is never wasted (unless you don't learn anything from it).

As to Steampunk: If you started today, you could probably write a steampunk novel before the genre hits the algae-bloom stage. It's early days.

-----------------------------

Previously posted in another thread (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5135427&postcount=3134):

Let's talk briefly about how the Independent Distributors work. The IDs are the system that puts magazines and newspapers -- and paperback books -- into supermarkets and other non-bookstore outlets.

Paperback mass-market books are piggy-backed on the ID system. The IDs are the ones who make sure that today's newspaper, this week's TV Guide, and this month's Reader's Digest are on the shelves at the supermarket. The store chooses the selection they want; after that, they're out of the loop aside from running the items past the cash register. The ID handles everything else: Bringing the new items, taking away the old ones, stocking them, putting them on the shelves. It's all the guy who drives the truck.

The truck driver knows how many newspapers he delivered, he knows how many he picked up the next day when delivering that day's consignment. The store pays him for the difference (minus their percentage). The old newspapers, the ID tears off the flag (that's the name for the top front area of a newspaper with its name and the date), and sends it back to the publisher for credit on the next shipment. The rest of the newspaper goes in the Dumpster: there's no market for yesterday's newspaper.

The same thing happens with magazines. The ID comes by, picks up last week's TV Guide, and charges the store for the difference between the number delivered and the number picked up. The old ones -- the covers are torn off and returned to the publisher for credit on the next order, the rest goes in the Dumpster.

And the same thing with paperbacks. The store's manager doesn't choose what titles are put out; and may not even own the wire rack the paperbacks are displayed on. He or she is just renting space to the ID. Think of mass market paperbacks as single-issue magazines with about a one-month shelf life. The ID comes around in his truck, restocks the paperbacks, removes the ones that haven't sold, tears off the covers and sends them back to the publisher for credit on the next order, and throws the rest in the Dumpster.

That explains why so many mass market paperbacks have lurid covers of chicks in chainmail bikinis and wenches with their shirts half-off, locked in romantic embraces with Fabio: The covers aren't just meant to appeal to the readers, they're meant to appeal to the truck drivers who pick up the books from the warehouse, then put them on the racks.

Notice too that there is absolutely no mechanism for books to be returned to the publisher to be sent elsewhere: Yesterday's newspapers have no re-sale value, last week's magazines have no re-sale value. Paperbacks are just piggy backing. And they have no re-sale value. (It is literally cheaper for the publisher to print a new copy than to have a copy returned, inspected, and restocked in the warehouse.)

---------------------------------

My pleasure.

I still need to write my Grand Theory of Art.

And there's a Christmas Challenge still to come....

----------------------------------

Publishers make bets on which books the public will buy. They're like professional poker players. They know that sometimes you can win a hand on a pair of deuces, sometimes you can't win with a full house. But their job isn't to win every hand. Their job is to make the right bets. And they're good at it.

And they know that Story trumps everything.

The latest volume in a long-running series will have a predictable number of readers, even if the book isn't very good.

A first novel by an unknown will also have a predictable -- and smaller -- number of readers, even if it's very good.

Figure which way they're going to bet on that, if they don't have the resources to publish both.

But ... the very good novel will eventually be picked up by a house that does have the resources, and that author will go on to write many books. The last few of which may not be as good ....

Give them a strong hand. They're more likely to go all-in on a straight than on a busted flush.

--------------------------------------

If you want to make a few notes in the margins of your outline, that's great. But I'd suggest you keep going. The outline is just that: An outline. It isn't an etched in stainless steel blueprint that you must follow or die. You still know where you're going. You're just taking the scenic route.

Baddies who aren't all bad, and goodies who aren't all good, are wonderful things. And if one of them gets away ... I had one of those once. Ignac' LeSoit in The Price of the Stars. Scheduled to die in Book 1. But -- he refused. He did the equivalent standing there saying, "I'm not crazy, I'm not stupid, and I'm not going."

He hung out, and got to be Very Important Indeed later on. The third volume, By Honor Betray'd, wouldn't be what it is without him. He turned into a major character. I finally made him die at the end of that book, by dint of authorial will (because he was supposed to die--the outline said so!)

Don't worry; he'll be back in the (contracted for) sequel.

The plot twist sound great. And learning how long an idea will be when set in type is one of those things that comes with practice. Minor characters who clear their throats and say, "Ah, author? There's a bit more to me," are the gold that rinse from the gravel of your subconscious. When they appear, use them! Tell their stories. No one but you sees your first draft so you can have some fun.

When it comes time for beta readers (a couple of drafts from now), you'll get an idea of whether your red herrings work. Plausible and logical should be your watchwords.

Keep things moving! You're the dancing bear. When the bear stops dancing, the audience moves along.

-------------------------------------

He says that for commercial fiction (as opposed to literary) all loose threads should be resolved and nothing left unknown or ambiguous.

If he truly said that, then he is wrong.

--------------------------

As long-time AW members will recall, in my opinion the only difference between a literary novel and a genre novel is the publisher's name on the spine. I'm also fond of endings that, while they are a satisfying climax to the main problem, allow room for expansion and suggest that the world is still out there. Paths that lead off in interesting directions beyond the small area that we've looked at.

If the protagonist rolls into town in a dirty car, that implies she's coming from somewhere else. And I see no reason to ensure that I wash that car in the last chapter.

--------------------------------

I'm pretty sure it wasn't me.

------------------------------

Agents and editors are not obstacles to be overcome. They are allies to help you on your way.

----------------------------------

First, something fun: The Bronte Sisters Action Figures (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NKXNThJ610)

Second, a contract that you'd have to be nuts in the head (i.e. a New Writer) to sign:
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/11/read_the_brutal_contract_from.html

-----------------------

A first draft is considerably more than nothing.

Some folks write publishable first drafts.

-----------------------

Best of luck to you, Ink-Pen-Paper.

"Interesting" is what the readers want.

------------------------

A writer was referring to his writing style as "A beginning, three disasters, and a save".

That's the same as "Get the Hero up a tree, throw rocks at him, get him out of the tree." It's a workable skeleton.

Do you have any suggestions that I should read to understand more about the tempo of the plot?Read lots and lots of novels. Award winners, best sellers, and everything else. Let it seep in that way. No how-to-write book will teach you more.

---------------------------------

Just over seven years have passed since you started this thread, which is very good for anything online. Have there been any major changes in the publishing side of the business that you think are worthwhile knowing?

Heck, one way of looking at it there haven't been any major changes since 1920. At least not in the ways that affect writers.

There haven't been any changes since Lascaux (http://www.arachnis.asso.fr/DORDOGNE/histoire/prehisto/prehist1.htm). We're still telling stories.

People are still trading their beer money to hear them.

Folks with the ability to tell stories that are worth the same or more than a glass of beer are still rare and still in demand.

++++++++++++++++++++

The major publishers are jumping into e-publishing now. There've been major changes in their standard contracts in the last year, as they try to sew up more rights. What I expect is going to happen in the future is that most ebooks will be sold by the same dozen publishers, just like right now most paper books are sold by the same dozen publishers. They're still going to be trying to put the writers into golden handcuffs, but at least we get gold. Lower-rent places, they're just handcuffs.

On the use of language: We're still using the most appropriate language to tell our stories to our audiences. Urban fiction is a genre now. So is urban fantasy. Horror hasn't made a comeback (though it will). Steampunk is on the way up. Chicklit is on the way down and may be out already.

As to our role: Flash to the movie Gladiator. Recall the scene where the title character is standing amid the carnage in a provincial arena, shouting to the stands, "Are you not being entertained?!"

That's us, alone, on the bloody sand. And the mob is still the mob.

---------------------------------

It's time for the annual Christmas Challenge!

Each year the denizens of this thread write a story for Christmas.

Here's what we'll do this year:

Go down to a video-rental shop and get a movie in your favorite genre that you've never seen. Watch it.

Now, write a short story based on that movie. But:

It has to be mirror universe. If the protagonist in the movie is a heroic cop and the antagonist is a clever bank robber, the protagonist in your story must be a stupid bank robber and the antagonist a cowardly cop.

Your story must reach a different, opposite, climax.

Your setting must be a different, opposite, place or time.

Twenty to thirty pages in standard manuscript format. Due on Christmas Eve.

Ready, set, go!

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If Hollywood wants to ruin (http://www.poetry-archive.com/h/the_ruined_maid.html) one of my books, they can. Any time.

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Then there's the guy who fired a shotgun out the window, coincidentally as a would-be suicide who jumped off the roof was going past, who was charged with murder because the guy who jumped was killed by the blast....

Yes, you *can* make this stuff up. Which doesn't stop it from happening.

The story is still yours. And by the time you're done, it will be wholly yours.

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Having stunned everyone into silence... I've posted a one-piece summary of much of my standard advice here: How to Get Published. (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/012744.html)

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Like I said, stupid question. But, being a Southern girl steeped in the "death before bad manners" lifestyle, it's one I'd like to know. If an editor gives you a nice rejection like that, or takes the trouble to ask for the entire manuscript -- whether or not they eventually accept -- is it wrong/stupid/a waste of money and time to say thank you for their efforts?

The best way to thank her would be to send her your next, even better, story. If you wanted to put in a P.S. (I took your advice on sending [Title] to [Market] and they bought it! Thanks a heap!) that would be okay.

Or, later, when you sell your novel, in the acknowledgments or dedication, you could put "[Jane Editor], who provided inspiration when I needed it most."

Or, really, you could send a nice note card: "You probably don't remember me, but you suggested I send [Title] to [Market], and you were right: They bought it."

Of the three, though, I'd try the first: in a cover letter for an even-more-compelling short story. Hey, it mentions a publishing credit! That's part of a standard cover letter.

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Editors are people too. Usually you don't have a personal relationship with 'em. In this case, through, you do. Slight, but there.

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I'm sort of struggling with Reservoir Dogs, myself. But I think I see a way through my difficulties.

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Go, you, Ink-Pen-Paper!

May it all come together. Not just once, but repeatedly.

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Okay! How many people took the Christmas Challenge?

Here's part two:

Use the first sentence and the last sentence of your story as the first two sentences of a new story. 5,000 words. By Thursday.

And I want a happy ending, because it's a holiday week!

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You can revise anything you want!

That's what revision is all about. Looking at it again. (And that's what this exercise is all about: Re-envisioning.)

Meanwhile: Even though it's from a parody site, surprisingly serious and useful advice on How To Be Funny And Not Stupid (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Uncyclopedia:How_To_Be_Funny_And_Not_Just_Stupid).

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Post 1404 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5656863&postcount=1404)
12-30-2010, 11:29 AM