Writer's Remorse

Saundra Julian · Mar 25, 2006

For lack of a better term, I call what I'm going through right now, "writer remorse."

I know most of you have probably gone through this or will at some point in your career because this is not my first time down this dark, gloomy spiral.

I've been editing and polishing both my novels and suddenly it dawns on me...I can't write worth a crap! I wonder what ever made me think I could write a damn book that people would want to read!

It's a horrible feeling that makes you want to cry and throw something against a wall.

Just wanted to share an emotion that rears its ugly head to try to steal your creativity and destroy your confidence.

The up side, it disappears almost as quickly as it appeared.

Forbidden Snowflake · Mar 25, 2006

I know about that, it usually happens when I start re-reading something after I'm "over" it. I've just written something, had an original twist at the end and still love the piece, just because I know the story is really good. Then I put it into my drawer, a month later take it out and re-read. I have to admit then that I can't write jack and the story alone is just not it and I get all depressed and put it away again.

MacAllister · Mar 25, 2006

Yup. We all know that one, Saundra. In fact, we know it so well, that it's got its own place on TNH's list of Varieties of Insanity Known to Affect Authors:

Oh my god, this manuscript is awful. Why didn't I see that before I told them it was finished? What could I have been thinking? I can't show this to anyone. If I let them read it, they'll never respect me again. Nobody will. I'll have to change my name and move to Lubbock to live in a trailer and work in a hardware store and never, never, never tell anyone ever again that I've had anything to do with writing or publishing.

So don't feel alone.

roach · Mar 25, 2006

I've gone through the same thing. What has helped me get out of the funk is to read works that I think are truly terrible. As petty as it sounds, it helps me realize that while my writing might not be stellar at this moment, it's not nearly as bad as the dreck I'm reading.

Diviner · Mar 25, 2006

roach said:
I've gone through the same thing. What has helped me get out of the funk is to read works that I think are truly terrible. As petty as it sounds, it helps me realize that while my writing might not be stellar at this moment, it's not nearly as bad as the dreck I'm reading.

This points out my mistake. I tend to be forgiving about my prose when I read it. I decide it is dreck only when I read much better writers. But your method, though encouraging, wouldn't give me the benefit of good examples. A dilemma!

Bufty · Mar 25, 2006

Doubts exist everywhere. I think they're in the wrong house, Saundra. They're in the house of a fighter and a survivor and they'll clear off when they realise there's nothing to feed off.

You write crap? Cripes - don't say that - that flushes me right down the pipe and way out to sea and you wouldn't want that to happen - would you?!

James D. Macdonald · Mar 25, 2006

Saundra Julian said:
I've been editing and polishing both my novels and suddenly it dawns on me...I can't write worth a crap! I wonder what ever made me think I could write a damn book that people would want to read!

This is perfectly normal.

Go get and read The Unstrung Harp; or, Mr. Earbrass Writes a Novel by Edward Gorey. Every writer should have a copy. It tells more truth about writing novels than any ten how-to books I know.

AdamH · Mar 25, 2006

Been there. Done that. More than once.

The only thing that brings me out of my funk is my overwhelming urge to write. Then I'm okay again.

Jamesaritchie · Mar 25, 2006

Remorse

I feel like that about halfway through every book I write.

glutton · Mar 25, 2006

I feel like that now, after getting rejected by one of four agents who asked for my partial so far. "Too wordy"... time to go and trim a few thousand words, huh?

banjo · Mar 25, 2006

Gee. You all make me feel that somethig is wrong with me, because I have never felt that way about my writing. Others have felt that way about it, but I always told them they were insane, even when it was crap.

Am I in denial? Because if so many whose opinions I respect say it's normal to feel that way, it must be. Where does that leave me? Thank God that I have AW for my therapy group. I need help.

maestrowork · Mar 25, 2006

The current WIP's working title is "Crap, the Novel." 'Nuf said.

janetbellinger · Mar 25, 2006

It happens to me, whenever I get a rejection letter. I just want to, and sometimes do, crawl into bed, and pull the covers up over my head. But, sooner or later, I realize that sulking isn't going to change anything, and that if I give up, then those suckers who don't believe in me, will have won.

Philip64 · Mar 25, 2006

Writers should not be judged by how bad they are at their worst. They should be judged on how good they are at their best.

Read something you wrote that gives you pleasure and which you're proud of: a chapter, a page, whatever. Remind yourself that you conjoured it out of nothing, and that you if you did it once, you can do it again.

Then go for a drive in the dark, or a run or a long walk alone. Eventually you will recover your appetite for storytelling, which is what you need most of all.

blacbird · Mar 25, 2006

Philip64 said:
Writers should not be judged by how bad they are at their worst. They should be judged on how good they are at their best.

Man, I'm in worse trouble than I thought.

caw.

Driada · Mar 25, 2006

The thing about that feeling is that it can get so out of control that it starts coming on earlier. For me, I started getting it after I finished the story. Then it started coming on when I was so close to finishing, often making me abandon the entire thing.

It kept coming on earlier and earlier and now I can barely get anything done, and I don't look forward to it because of that part about wanting to cry and throw things.

I agree with Philip64. That especially works when I feel like I couldn't possibly write anything that would be worth anybody's time. I read the things that I liked before. The things that other people liked. Reminding myself that, at least in some point in time, I thought I was a good writer, really helps me try and accomplish more.

DamaNegra · Mar 25, 2006

Eeek, I'm suffering from it right now! And on a contest novel too! And I've only written 2 pages! *faints*

LightShadow · Mar 25, 2006

Few writers think they are awesome, and often the ones that do, aren't. I read in a book by an agent how most of his successful clients didn't think they were as good of writers as the public proclaimed, but they continued to write because they enjoyed it, and it was still bringing in an income, regardless of how badly they saw themselves as writers.

AdamH · Mar 25, 2006

banjo said:
Am I in denial? Because if so many whose opinions I respect say it's normal to feel that way, it must be. Where does that leave me? Thank God that I have AW for my therapy group. I need help.

You're fine, banjo. All this just falls under "you're your own worst critic" column in life. If you don't have such a column, you're in good condition.

Besides, we're all just a bunch of nuts here anyway!

Jamesaritchie · Mar 25, 2006

Writing

LightShadow said:
Few writers think they are awesome, and often the ones that do, aren't. I read in a book by an agent how most of his successful clients didn't think they were as good of writers as the public proclaimed, but they continued to write because they enjoyed it, and it was still bringing in an income, regardless of how badly they saw themselves as writers.

This reminds me of a quotation:
[size=-1]"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous." -- Robert Benchley[/size]

Saundra Julian · Mar 25, 2006

You all are so funny and I have laughed until I can hardly see my keyboard!
I love authors and salute you all! :Clap:

Saundra

cwfgal · Mar 25, 2006

I don't think I'm a horrible writer, though I've written some horrible stuff. Nor do I think I'm a brilliant writer, though I"ve written some brilliant stuff (apparently not enough of it, however). I live in fear of mediocrity. It's a black hole of despair of depression. It's that fear that keeps me slaving over my words and working hard at the craft.

Beth

Dalron · Mar 25, 2006

I went through this once* a few years ago and burnt everything I had written since the age of 8 (I am now in my 50s): all my juvenilia, four completed novels, hundreds of short stories, all my journals and the list goes on. Today I couldn't do that so easily because of the mania I now have for CD backups.

I can't tell you how much I've suffered since that moment of insanity.

*LATER: Actually I've been through it more than once but this was the worst experience.

roach · Mar 25, 2006

cwfgal said:
I don't think I'm a horrible writer, though I've written some horrible stuff. Nor do I think I'm a brilliant writer, though I"ve written some brilliant stuff (apparently not enough of it, however). I live in fear of mediocrity. It's a black hole of despair of depression. It's that fear that keeps me slaving over my words and working hard at the craft.

I've been there with the fear of mediocrity. Actually I came close to giving up writing because I was busy with other things (my now defunct publishing company) and because I don't think the world needs more mediocre writing. I felt that my writing style was too plain and lacking in poetry. Actually I still feel that way about my writing.

What helped me to decide to go on with my writing (other than closing down said publishing company) is reading Octavia Butler's Mind of My Mind. I recognized similarities in writing style and thought, "Well dang, there may be hope for me yet!"

Right now I'm trying not to judge my own writing. It's more important to get the words on the paper. The critic can come out and gleefully rip the story apart at a later date.

Nexusman · Mar 27, 2006

Convince yourself of the basic paradox:

My book is the best thing that's ever been written to grace human literary history, but at the same time it's so awful I can't understand why anyone would want to even use the pages to scrub the toilet with.

It's hard, but it gets the job done for me.

-Nick

Writer's Remorse

A work in progress

I'm quite put out.

Tired and worried.

annoyed and annoying

Where have the last ten years gone?

Your Genial Uncle

Pumped Up Kicks

Fear the Death Ray

sticking his oar in...

Mexican on the loose!

defender of the blahs!

Pumped Up Kicks

A work in progress

On the rocks

annoyed and annoying

Chaos Warrior