How about some pun fun?

Susie · Jan 11, 2007

You make up a pun for fun. Let's keep it clean and funny, k.

Here's mine:

Claustrophobia: Fear of being stuck in the chimney with Santa.

Your turn.

truelyana · Jan 11, 2007

What does pun mean...

ChunkyC · Jan 11, 2007

A pun is like what I have under my nick. Also:

Q: What do you call something that removes bellybuttons?

A: A navel destroyer.

Susie · Jan 11, 2007

That's so funny, Chunky. Thanks much for the chuckle!

ChunkyC · Jan 11, 2007

When a bricklayer quits his job, does that mean he's throwing in the trowel?

TheIT · Jan 11, 2007

ChunkyC said:
When a bricklayer quits his job, does that mean he's throwing in the trowel?

ChunkyC, that's mortarfying! Of course, he could also be cementing his position in the unemployment line.

ChunkyC · Jan 11, 2007

The classic groaner:

You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish.

jvc · Jan 11, 2007

I got my large circumference from to much pi

jvc · Jan 11, 2007

What's the definition of a will?

- It's a dead givaway

ChunkyC · Jan 11, 2007

(is Susie laughing yet?)

Okay, a joke....

A young cook decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise some in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city. He searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits.

Finally, an old priest at a cathedral said he could have a small area behind the rectory. The cook successfully raised his rabbits, and went about Paris selling them. One restaurant owner asked him where he got such fresh rabbits.

The young man replied, "I raise them myself, near the cathedral. In fact, I have a hutch back of Notre Dame."

jbal · Jan 11, 2007

Ok, long one, but terrible. Native American birthing hut. Woman rushes in, in labor. They spread out a buffalo hide, where she has a lovely baby boy. Immediately, another squaw rushes in, throes of labor, and they spread out another buffalo hide. She lies down, and soon has a baby girl!
Well, right then, in comes a third squaw, and they're out of buffalo hides, so they make do with the only one left, a hippapotamus hide. So the third squaw gives birth to twins, a boy and a girl.

Moral:the squaw on the hippapotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.

ChunkyC · Jan 11, 2007

TheIT · Jan 11, 2007

I had a teacher in high school stop class once to tell us this joke:

A man was a very famous lecturer who was invited to speak at all sorts of functions: graduations, seminars, etc. He became so famous he never had any time to enjoy the fruits of his labor, so he had himself cloned. At first everything worked out great. The clone gave the speeches, and the man enjoyed himself vacationing all over the world. After a while, the clone realized he was getting the short end of this deal, so in revenge the clone started inserting obscenities into the speeches to destroy the man's reputation. The man couldn't have that, so he invited the clone to dinner at a restaurant at the top of a tall building, and in the middle of dinner the clone just happened to fall out the window. The police arrested the man, but not for murder.

They arrested him for making an obscene clone fall.

jvc · Jan 11, 2007

An America couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.

"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.

"Let's not fight about it!" the man said. "Let's ask our guide, Rudolph, whether it's officially raining or snowing."

As their tour guide approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course," he replied officiously.

But the woman insisted, "I know that it felt like snow!"

The man quietly replied, "Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"

AnnieColleen · Jan 11, 2007

So there's this great new book about a sailor's belly button...it's a novel naval navel novel.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

(This thread is going to unravel fast...)

AnnieColleen · Jan 11, 2007

truelyana said:
What does pun mean...

The pun is mightier than the words.

The pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you make it up.

(I know I'm forgetting one here...)

:tongue

jvc · Jan 11, 2007

I like nursery rhymes.

The grand old duke of york, he had ten thousand men.

Wow, that was a busy night.

stormie · Jan 11, 2007

All of these puns are too punny! <groan>
Thanks for making me laugh at the end of one of those days....

ChunkyC · Jan 11, 2007

A little late, but....

Q: Why did Santa's helper go to a psychiatrist?

A: He was suffering from low elf esteem.

Susie · Jan 11, 2007

Oy, my sides hurt from laughing. Thanks much, guys!

ChunkyC · Jan 11, 2007

And my favourite fake obituary, a candidate for most/worst puns per inch....

============

As we begin the Holiday Baking season, please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough and two children: John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

AnnieColleen · Jan 11, 2007

"I see!" said the blind carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw.

AnnieColleen · Jan 11, 2007

incense: holy smoke!

Kida Adelyne · Jan 11, 2007

AnnieColleen said:
"I see!" said the blind carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw.

That is probably my grandfathers favourite joke. *sigh*

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

Ore is always a lode off someone's mine.

If you think you are a set of curtains, either see a psychiatrist or pull yourself together.

and...

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

AceTachyon · Jan 11, 2007

News headline for a homicidal midget psychic on the lam: "Small Medium at Large."

How about some pun fun?

Thanks, special friend for my avi!

Set yourself free

It's hard being green

Thanks, special friend for my avi!

It's hard being green

Infuriatingly Theoretical

It's hard being green

Fearsome Dragon Mod

Fearsome Dragon Mod

It's hard being green

It's hard being green

Infuriatingly Theoretical

Fearsome Dragon Mod

Invisible Writer

Invisible Writer

Fearsome Dragon Mod

storm central

It's hard being green

Thanks, special friend for my avi!

It's hard being green

Invisible Writer

Invisible Writer

Me got zero cookies!

Odd person