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I'm sorry, this isn't about POV or plot, but there's a bit in that Mary Higgins Clark scene that drives me straight up the wall:
"Your mother's always been a pretty woman, and all the tender loving care she's received from me over the last forty-three years has only enhanced her beauty," his father said. He paused. "What are you two smiling at?"
"You know full well I've also waited on you hand and foot, dear," Dolores Stephens replied.
Does anyone in the world talk like that?
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Actually, my wife and I spar like this all the time.