Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

curious. what kind of problems?


also, i rechecked the margins...they were 1.25 on left and right..put it 1 inch liek you said...down to 496 pages....

...i had to kind of introduce some of the action in the back story in order to make the plot not confusing.

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If you need the backstory to have the plot make sense there's a chance you're starting the story at the wrong point.

I don't know -- I haven't read your book.

hmm, i will have to consider this...thanks for the input!

James D. Macdonald said:

If you need the backstory to have the plot make sense there's a chance you're starting the story at the wrong point

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Many stories are dependent on their untold backtories - but reveal them only later to answer questions that have slowly crept up over the course of events. For an easy example, the Harry Potter series not only follows Harry, but also the past lives of his teachers and his parents as he goes along. The more we learn about the backstory, the more we learn about Harry.

I think the skill is keeping the reader informed, and happy, yet ignorant at the same time. Ignorant of things they don't care about (yet). This makes the twists all the more delicious. If the reader is confused from the first page, then they will tend to throw the book aside. You have to hook them before you can start confusing them.

loquax said:

For an easy example, the Harry Potter series not only follows Harry, but also the past lives of his teachers and his parents as he goes along. The more we learn about the backstory, the more we learn about Harry.

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I would tend to disagree. We do learn about past events, but they aren't driving the story. Also: The series begins with Harry, still an infant, being delivered to the Dursleys moments after Voldemort's final attack on his parents.

The entire backstory can be compressed into one line: The wizarding community has been immersed in a civil war.

That war might have continued indefinitely. The event that changes everything is the one that starts the first book: Harry survives.

Not sure I understand. With HP, don't some specific past events, or revelations thereof, affect the action? The protective nature of Harry's scar. The revelations about his father at school. The innocence of his guardian whatisname?

What I find comforting is that JK Rowling feels exactly the same as I do (and probably a lot of other writers out there) - by the middle of the first draft I love it, three quarter through I hate it, and by the time it's done I love it again.

I wish I could find the exact quote...but I figured if she feels that way, maybe I'm doing something right.

zornhau said:

Not sure I understand. With HP, don't some specific past events, or revelations thereof, affect the action? The protective nature of Harry's scar. The revelations about his father at school. The innocence of his guardian whatisname?

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Yes, but those I think are incidental, or integral part of the "current" story happening, and can be dealt with with a line of dialogue or a short description. The thing is, we don't have to delve into a huge chapter/prologue/whatever of the fight between Harry's parents and Voldemort to understand that info. I believe it was handled very briefly by some dialogue between McGonagall and Dumbledore (only in the movie version did they use "flashback" to show the conception of Harry's scar, etc. -- Rowling didn't do that in the books).

Christine N. said:

What I find comforting is that JK Rowling feels exactly the same as I do (and probably a lot of other writers out there) - by the middle of the first draft I love it, three quarter through I hate it, and by the time it's done I love it again.

I wish I could find the exact quote...but I figured if she feels that way, maybe I'm doing something right.

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Oh yeah, the mid-book curse...

Betcha some of the backstory revelations in Harry Potter came about like this:

JKR: [type type type]

JKR: Oh <bleep>! Harry's dead for sure this time. No way can he survive that.

JKR: [brood brood brood]

JKR: Ah ha! I know! His scar will protect him!

JKR: [type type type]

LOL. Hey, that's how some of the stuff in MY books come about. Things happen I had no idea were coming. That's why writing is fun

This is a lovely holiday weekend (Independence Day in the United States, Canada Day in Guess Where.)

But, you're all writers! That means "No Time Off For You, Bucky!"

So: Next assignments:

First: Rent Secret Garden on DVD. (It's about a writer.) Watch it. Very good. Now watch the short feature with the director's comments on why he made the decisions he did. (Pay particular attention to his remarks about the strength of the characters.) Now watch the deleted scenes, with the director's comments turned on. Why were they deleted? Did he make the right decisions?


Next assignment:

Rent Princess Diaries II and Resident Evil II. Watch them back-to-back. Popcorn is allowed. Taking a break between them isn't. Your assignment is to combine them into a single story: Anne Hathaway wakes up in the palace in Gevalia to discover that all her happy subjects have been turned into flesh-eating zombies. She must rescue Julie Andrews and shoot her way out before the United States nukes the country. You're aiming for thirty to forty manuscript pages with a beginning, a middle, and an end. (Alternatively: Milla Jovovich wakes up in a hospital to discover that she has to choose which of two young men to marry in just thirty days. Or some other mix-n-match combo.) You must file off the serial numbers by removing all trademarked and copyrighted elements from the finished piece.

Extra points to anyone who files off those serial numbers so well that no one reading the story would suspect it came from this assignment. Even more points to anyone who's gutsy enough to submit the result to a paying market.

Anne Hathaway wakes up in the palace in Gevalia to discover that all her happy subjects have been turned into flesh-eating zombies. She must rescue Julie Andrews and shoot her way out before the United States nukes the country.

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Jim, this is brilliant. I haven't seen either movie, but I couldn't stop laughing for at least a minute after reading this prompt.

Returning to the chess thing for a moment...

I have been dutifully playing the chess games in Logical Chess: Move by Move, trying for one game per day. Now that my chess skills are brushed up on (and I'll continue to play through the entire book), where do I go from here? Is this an exercise to develop strategizing skills that writers use in plotting, or is there an ah-ha moment in my future?

1) It's improving your strategizing skills

2) There's an ah-ha! moment in your future

3) At the very least your chess game should have improved.

What the point is: Just as putting a knight on King's Bishop Three is the strongest position for that piece, and the chess master instinctively knows to develop the piece there -- in the same way the writer knows that giving his detective just forty-eight hours to crack the case puts that character in an interesting position.

Put interesting characters in interesting positions and plot will develop. Later, surprising combinations will arise -- not necessarily because you plotted them out in advance, but because they flow naturally from the groundwork you've already done. The Sorting Hat couldn't have provided a sword in the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets if the Sorting Hat hadn't been put into play and established as magical in Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone.

As you gain practice as a writer you'll learn how to put interesting characters into interesting places -- even if you don't know how things will work out later.

James D. Macdonald said:

1) It's improving your strategizing skills

2) There's an ah-ha! moment in your future

3) At the very least your chess game should have improved.

What the point is: Just as putting a knight on King's Bishop Three is the strongest position for that piece, and the chess master instinctively knows to develop the piece there -- in the same way the writer knows that giving his detective just forty-eight hours to crack the case puts that character in an interesting position.

Put interesting characters in interesting positions and plot will develop. Later, surprising combinations will arise -- not necessarily because you plotted them out in advance, but because they flow naturally from the groundwork you've already done. The Sorting Hat couldn't have provided a sword in the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets if the Sorting Hat hadn't been put into play and established as magical in Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone.

As you gain practice as a writer you'll learn how to put interesting characters into interesting places -- even if you don't know how things will work out later.

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I went up against myself in this way. I had my detective get hold of a laptop full of critical information about the evil conspirators.

With my villain's mind, I devised a fool proof self-destruct mechanism that would destroy all the data on the laptop if any attempt were made to boot the computer, cut a wire, remove a battery, etc.

It took me nearly a month to figure out the Hero's work-around to get the data. One idea after another proved to be worthless, after doing the technical research, but I refused to give myself an out. I wanted that "brilliant solution" that only a braniac like my detective could think up.

Finally I found it. The hero went on to print the secret documents, but I has the satisfaction that she didn't just catch a lucky break.

And of course, just to keep things real, the villain burned down her apartment in retaliation.

James D. Macdonald said:

This is a lovely holiday weekend (Independence Day in the United States, Canada Day in Guess Where.)

But, you're all writers! That means "No Time Off For You, Bucky!"

So: Next assignments:

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These sound like very fun and worthwhile assignments (better than that last jaw-breaker of a poem I'm still trying to memorize), and boy wouldn't I like an

excuse to get away from that novel I'm in the middle of, but... No.

Must write novel. Must write novel.

And that's the heart of it... what have I already established in this book (or books)that I can use in this situation.

Hmm... I have a magical hat, a phoenix (who's feather happens to be in the hero's wand, boy I was clever there, wasn't I) and I've introduced the four founders in a bit more detail with this book. Hmmmm...

I found myself, after writing the end of the book, going back and fixing things in the beginning of the book so that everything would make sense.

It's pretty much a juggling act, isn't it.

OK, I get it. Like setting up to control the center of the chessboard, and developing the pieces early in the game by moving them off the back rank.

In my now-finished fantasy novel, my swordswoman character was escorting a merchant from one city to another, and she asked what goods the merchant sold. Hmmm... so I gave him wooden gargoyles that people can put on chests in order to lock them. Only the one who places the gargoyle can open the chest (or door, etc). I didn't know at the time how I'd use them later, but I had my character buy one. It so happened it came in handy much later in the story.

Uncle Jim, I have a question. (oo oo, pick me pick me!)

Reading "Self Editing for Fiction writers" AND this thread, I've learned how to root out all the - ing clauses in my writing, for the most part. I notice my writing is stronger, and more sophisticated.

NOW... I'm reading a MG book by a well known author (he's Scottish, if that's relevent) and the book is RIDDLED with these things. They're starting to get on my nerves. And he's using -ly adverbs like there's nothing better.

I guess my question is - why don't his editors get rid of them? I know my first book has some in there, when I wrote it I didn't know any better. I guess I want to know why, if getting rid of them is better, publishers don't bother about them?

Christine N. said:

Reading "Self Editing for Fiction writers" AND this thread, I've learned how to root out all the - ing clauses in my writing, for the most part. I notice my writing is stronger, and more sophisticated.

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Dang it, I missed the -ing and -ly thing. How do these newly discovered evils weaken my prose? (Things tend to stick in my Teflon mind better when I understand the 'why').
Is it just that 'hoped' is better than 'was hoping'? Do you end up using the sinister verb 'to be' more with them?

Christine N. said:

NOW... I'm reading a MG book by a well known author (he's Scottish, if that's relevent) and the book is RIDDLED with these things. They're starting to get on my nerves. And he's using -ly adverbs like there's nothing better.

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You're only noticing them because that particular "rule" is fresh in your mind. The same thing's happened to me. If you turn off the critic, you'll forget about them. Assuming the writing is competent, most readers won't notice the mechanics unless they're bored, in which case there's a larger problem than using words ending in -ly.

The story is pretty good, although the beginning didn't do it for me, I plodded through and read on. Those clauses just stick out (to me) like a sore thumb. I'm correcting them in my head as I read. I don't mind them if they're occasional, it doesn't make a difference, but this thing has them every other sentence.

Trapped - yes "he hoped" is better than "was hoping". It's much stronger and more sophisicated. Same thing with the "As she..." phrases. Ditch 'em.

For example: "As she ran across the room, she saw him fall." is much better as "She ran across the room and saw him fall" (or even "as he fell", the "as" is in the middle of the sentence, where it's not so noticeable.

The -ing clause is usually easy to fix. ie: "She watched him fall out the window, hoping that he wouldn't be hurt." reads much better as "She watched him fall out the window and hoped he wouldn't be hurt."


See?

Thank you.
I have lists of things like this when I'm editing. I have my own pet words that I overuse, and a list of phrases and types of words that weaken my writing. I use find and replace to zap them if they can't justify their existance.

The real rule is: The prose must be workmanlike or better.

Strong story will get you through weak prose better than strong prose will get you through weak story.

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To the question of why the editor didn't remove the -ly and -ing words... perhaps the editor would say, "You should have seen it before." If your story grabs the reader and makes him read all the pages one after another your prose can be the dullest stuff imaginable.

Me, I know that I'm not a genius so I make the parts that I can make strong stronger still, to make up for deficiencies elsewhere.