black winged fighter said:
What I definitely did *not* advocate was the use of "As you know, Bob..." dialogue. Instead, I use minor characters by letting their experiences, and their subsequent conversations add anturally to the MC's and reader's knowledge...
To paraphrase Uncle Jim: it must advance character, plot, or theme...
Andrew Jameson said:
I think the key to Lukeman's comments is where he says that he objects to "interchanges... that don't spring from characters' needs, desires, and relationships." So, like you say, two characters sitting around talking about the Eastasian's recent invasion of Plimptonland, something well-known to both, which they have no particular reason to talk about ("As you know, Bob...") is fundamentally unsatisfying.
So here's what I did in a SS I recently dusted off and submitted. Originally I had the story open with the pilot, as first-person narrator, explaining about the dust cloud and comets his spacecraft is approaching. Wasn't too bad, since I jumped right into what was happening and what he was seeing, but it was still telling instead of showing.
So I revised it so that in addition to what he is seeing, he is having a conversation with the science officer about what is happening and what they are seeing. The scientific details become part of the science officer's patter – he tends to give too much information, so the pilot-narrator has to keep cutting him off to get the bottom-line information he needs.
I suppose that the science officer's TMI explanations could count as "As you know, Bob" dialogue, but I don't see it that way. Since he and the pilot have different agendas in the exchange, there is some tension. And the pilot's voice keeps things moving for those who aren't interested in wallowing in Oort-cloud astrodynamics.
Definitely added some pep to the opening of the story, IMO. Your thoughts?
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My idea of "As you know, Bob" dialogue goes something like this:
"As you know Bob, this volcano, Mount Guba-Guba, has shown many signs of increasing activity over the past three weeks. Hydrogen sulfide emissions and seismic activity have been at the highest levels since our Geologic Survey Group began observations in 1956."
"Yes, Tom, that's sure worrisome. Can you give me a better breakdown of the gas outflow? Hmm. This looks like the lava dome is rising for sure. The only question now is whether we'll get a lava outflow like those Hawaiian volcanos, or an explosion like Mount Saint Helens."
"It could be worse than that Bob. There is a report of a heavy pyroclastic flow wiping out a village on the neighboring island of Sobarupa back in 1791."
"Pyroclastic flow?"
"Yes, that's the 'silent but deadly' type. Similar to what happened on Martinique. You recall that story from Napoleonic times where the ash cloud, filled with hot poisonous gases, swept down on the town, killing everyone except one lucky guy locked deep in a jail cell."
"Yes, Tom, that would be truly horrifying."
This is basically a volley, where both sides are trying to keep the ball in the air as long as possible. It is boring because there is no sense that either one is trying to score a point, let alone spike the ball. Also, there is no sense that the two speakers really have different areas of knowledge or objectives – the questions are haphazard.
That's great! Must be hard to look into though....