Limericks Live!

poetinahat · Sep 19, 2005

I wonder what this button does?
I pressed it twice, just because
The scary blue screen
says my drive's a latrine

Solatium · Sep 20, 2005

I wonder what this button does?
I pressed it twice, just because
The scary blue screen
says my drive's a latrine,
But that's silly -- latrines never buzz!

But what if they did? What if all

PattiTheWicked · Sep 20, 2005

But what if they did? What if all
those sounds from way down the hall

threedogpeople · Sep 20, 2005

But what if they did? What if all
those sounds from way down the hall
were accompanied by bells and buzzers

reph · Sep 20, 2005

Not too limericky

But what if they did? What if all
those sounds from way down the hall
were accompanied by bells and buzzers

threedog, limericks have special requirements for line length and where the beats fall. From a post two months ago:

Excuse me, . . . you seem to be working on a different kind of poem. A limerick has exactly five lines, and the rhythm goes like this:

da DA da da DA da da DA (da)
da DA da da DA da da DA (da)
(da) da DA da da DA (da)
(da) da DA da da DA (da)
da DA da da DA da da DA (da).

The das in parentheses are optional syllables.

So let's go back one step.

But what if they did? What if all
those sounds from way down the hall
were just modified flushes

PattiTheWicked · Sep 20, 2005

But what if they did? What if all
those sounds from way down the hall
were just modified flushes,
and what makes me blush is

poetinahat · Sep 20, 2005

But what if they did? What if all
those sounds from way down the hall
were just modified flushes,
and what makes me blush is
the door's been removed from the stall

Well, shiver me timbers, me crew

reph · Sep 20, 2005

Well, shiver me timbers, me crew
Consists of thirteen caribou

PattiTheWicked · Sep 20, 2005

Well, shiver me timbers, me crew
Consists of thirteen caribou
But in the crow's nest

threedogpeople · Sep 20, 2005

Oh, well, guess I'll have to play by the rules......

Well, shiver me timbers, me crew
Consists of thirteen caribou
But in the crow's nest,
A sailor paid by the rest,

reph · Sep 20, 2005

threedog, I don't like to keep hammering on you, but in that new line the rhythm is still off. The line has an extra beat at the beginning. Sometimes reading the verse aloud calls attention to places where it doesn't sound the way it should.

Well, shiver me timbers, me crew
Consists of thirteen caribou
But in the crow's nest
Is one paid by the rest, (adjusted by one syllable)
He's got hands, 'cuz those hooves just won't do.

When the captain yelled "All hands on deck!"

Meaney · Sep 20, 2005

When the captain yelled "All hands on deck!"
the unmanned ship became a wreck

poetinahat · Sep 20, 2005

When the captain yelled "All hands on deck!"
the unmanned ship became a wreck
As the wind whipped the sails

reph · Sep 20, 2005

Meaney said:
the unmanned ship became a wreck

Meaney, it isn't like you to slip into iambs. Are you feeling all right?

Meaney · Sep 21, 2005

My thoughts exactly

reph said:
Meaney, it isn't like you to slip into iambs. Are you feeling all right?

I was actually going to comment that I was unhappy with that meter, but it seems my trochaic reputation precedes me.

When the captain yelled "All hands on deck!"
the unmanned ship became a wreck
As the wind whipped the sails
the crew swam with the whales

Pat~ · Sep 21, 2005

When the captain yelled "All hands on deck!"
the unmanned ship became a wreck
As the wind whipped the sails
the crew swam with the whales
thus ending their seafaring trek.

My eyes have begun to glaze over

poetinahat · Sep 21, 2005

My eyes have begun to glaze over
And my face has gone crimson and clover

rhymegirl · Sep 21, 2005

My eyes have begun to glaze over
And my face has gone crimson and clover,
Cuz I did some weird drugs,

Meaney · Sep 21, 2005

My eyes have begun to glaze over
And my face has gone crimson and clover,
Cuz I did some weird drugs
and I ate some weird bugs

Solatium · Sep 21, 2005

My eyes have begun to glaze over
And my face has gone crimson and clover,
Cuz I did some weird drugs
and I ate some weird bugs
Finished off with a hair from old Rover

My liver is going to bits

reph · Sep 21, 2005

My liver is going to bits
My B.O. is literally the pits

poetinahat · Sep 22, 2005

(second line is a metrical challenge, no?)

My liver is going to bits
My B.O. is literally the pits
But my wallet is hearty

Unique · Sep 22, 2005

My liver is going to bits
My B.O. is literally the pits
But my wallet is hearty
So take that, you smarty

Solatium · Sep 22, 2005

My liver is going to bits
My B.O. is literally the pits
But my wallet is hearty
So take that, you smarty --
'Cause wealth almost always beats wits

I ought to be studying German

Pthom · Sep 22, 2005

I ought to be studying German
To understand my uncle Hermann

Limericks Live!

Numbers are beautiful

Unleashing Hell.

This is my BEST side!

Fig of authority

Unleashing Hell.

Numbers are beautiful

Fig of authority

Unleashing Hell.

This is my BEST side!

Fig of authority

Socialist. Humanist. Solipsist.

Numbers are beautiful

Fig of authority

Socialist. Humanist. Solipsist.

Luftmensch Emeritus, A.D.D.

Numbers are beautiful

It's a New Year!

Socialist. Humanist. Solipsist.

Fig of authority

Numbers are beautiful

Agent of Doom

Word butcher