Working on a lease agreement at work and had to chuckle at this:
How old is this that people playing their phonograph too loud was a problem?
How old is this that people playing their phonograph too loud was a problem?
Not-Nice Things That Made You Laugh or Smile Today
- Thread starter Maryn
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Me to my husband: Can you make dinner tonight? Anything you want!
Husband: Surprise me!
Me: Surprise! Can you make dinner?
*hours later* (in the kitchen)
Husband: What’s the plan for dinner?
Me to my husband: Can you make dinner tonight? Anything you want!
Husband: Surprise me!
Me: Surprise! Can you make dinner?
*hours later* (in the kitchen)
Husband: What’s the plan for dinner?
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Oh, dear, this CNN headline:
'What else can we do?": Palestinian mother fights hunger with young children
I suppose they're nutritious....
'What else can we do?": Palestinian mother fights hunger with young children
I suppose they're nutritious....
Watching Taxi with my husband. The characters are at a party and a woman with big blonde hair starts flirting.
I asked my husband if she was supposed to be attractive?
"She's 1978 attractive" he said.
There's another main cast character that I asked a similar question, "is he supposed to be hot?"
It was a different time, he said. lol.
I asked my husband if she was supposed to be attractive?
"She's 1978 attractive" he said.
There's another main cast character that I asked a similar question, "is he supposed to be hot?"
It was a different time, he said. lol.
Was out clearing trees from the road yesterday and the chain on the chainsaw was loose and fell off. Brought it into the garage, put it back on, tightened it, I was all done.
Husband comes to bed at 3:30. Giant tree across the driveway and the chainsaw is sparking, the bar and chain aren't automatically oiling, it's very bad. He spent an hour trying to get it to work.
My sleep schedule has been weird so at 4 am I found the manual and with the saw on my dining room table went through the manual, found the problem, fixed it.
Left a note for my husband today. In 18 point permanent marker letting him know the battery was recharging etc.
Then in Itty bitty letters written in pen: The chainsaw was sparking because I put the chain on backwards. My bad. Love you!
Husband comes to bed at 3:30. Giant tree across the driveway and the chainsaw is sparking, the bar and chain aren't automatically oiling, it's very bad. He spent an hour trying to get it to work.
My sleep schedule has been weird so at 4 am I found the manual and with the saw on my dining room table went through the manual, found the problem, fixed it.
Left a note for my husband today. In 18 point permanent marker letting him know the battery was recharging etc.
Then in Itty bitty letters written in pen: The chainsaw was sparking because I put the chain on backwards. My bad. Love you!
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I'm danged impressed you can even use one, let alone fix one!
A laugh for all of you:
I have all of my oil lamps plus a handful of candles lit against the dark. Thought I was doing good.
Just spent a solid minute talking to a jug of water at the end of the hall because I thought it was the cat.
I have all of my oil lamps plus a handful of candles lit against the dark. Thought I was doing good.
Just spent a solid minute talking to a jug of water at the end of the hall because I thought it was the cat.
'A Handful of Candles Against the Dark'. Great title for ... something?
Keep on hanging on.
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And in the meantime the cat is watching you talking to the water jug thinking "she's finally lost it!"
Which is better than thinking "Jug is trying to replace me! Must kill it! Or, at least, pee on it."And in the meantime the cat is watching you talking to the water jug thinking "she's finally lost it!"
Work is having a moment where some Things are coming in with missing data, and there’s a good bit of “But that’s not supposed to be possible; those are *required*!”
…I told y’all when we started that it was possible, because it happened last time. And the reason you know it’s happening now is I built in a check to flag it.
…I told y’all when we started that it was possible, because it happened last time. And the reason you know it’s happening now is I built in a check to flag it.
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Cat casually passing the jug, extends murder mitten and "SWAT", continues to walk, stops, tail up and sprays. "I win"
I love the expression 'murder mitten' - it so perfectly encapsulates the qualities of a cat's paw.Cat casually passing the jug, extends murder mitten and "SWAT", continues to walk, stops, tail up and sprays. "I win"
Valkyrie Tina
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It would also be a perfect title for a book...
Let's just say the structure at the office is a circus on a good day and a shitshow on a bad day and I won't bore anyone with details. All the employees are resigned to just watching the train crash.
The boss, unfortunately, has not been well, and the responsibility of running things has been set on fire and dropped in the lap of his lazy and entitled successor.
"He's so frazzled right now that he doesn't know if he's on foot or on horseback."
I don't know why that expression tickles me but it does.
The boss, unfortunately, has not been well, and the responsibility of running things has been set on fire and dropped in the lap of his lazy and entitled successor.
"He's so frazzled right now that he doesn't know if he's on foot or on horseback."
I don't know why that expression tickles me but it does.
My dog is 88 lbs of delicate, dainty flower and we have to get him pretty doped up to get him to the vet for shots otherwise he screams like he's being tortured.
He's really high right now and having a tough time walking. lol.
He's really high right now and having a tough time walking. lol.
Next door's cat is doing my head in.
He frequently tries to ambush the birds that visits our feeder, poops all over the lawn and is generally creepy (just staring at you from the bushes kind of creepy).
He climbed a tree to get the Magpie the other day and then had regrets. I will admit that I was a horrible person and sat and drank my coffee whilst he took a good half an hour trying to work out how to get down. A part of me took great delight, the other was actually curious to see what he'd do. In the end, he tried to jump onto the bird house but tipped it and got covered in bird seed.
Has he learned his lesson? Of course not, but I like to think the birds continue to mock him.
He frequently tries to ambush the birds that visits our feeder, poops all over the lawn and is generally creepy (just staring at you from the bushes kind of creepy).
He climbed a tree to get the Magpie the other day and then had regrets. I will admit that I was a horrible person and sat and drank my coffee whilst he took a good half an hour trying to work out how to get down. A part of me took great delight, the other was actually curious to see what he'd do. In the end, he tried to jump onto the bird house but tipped it and got covered in bird seed.
Has he learned his lesson? Of course not, but I like to think the birds continue to mock him.
Had a laugh with a co-worker about making parody videos of trad wives on YouTube. (Basically young 20-somethings who are stay at home wives that dress up like they're going to a cocktail party and make a video of baking cookies or whatever)
Flour on the face, not showered, hair everywhere in sweatpants. Drop something on the floor and use the five-second rule. Accidentally lick the spoon and keep using it. Crack an egg and the shell falls apart and there's egg on the counter. Smoke comes pouring out of the oven as something burns.
Flour on the face, not showered, hair everywhere in sweatpants. Drop something on the floor and use the five-second rule. Accidentally lick the spoon and keep using it. Crack an egg and the shell falls apart and there's egg on the counter. Smoke comes pouring out of the oven as something burns.
So glad Maryn started this thread for me...
My husband is a property manager and was talking about a client/someone who has an office in Florida and they split their time now between Maine and Florida, which naturally turned into a joke about how it's not a "vacation" in Florida, he's "working" so he "can't" bring his wife. So he starts making remarks about having to meet a new potential client in Maui, and he'll be gone for two weeks.
Me: Yeah, not going to fly.
Him: But don't you want me to grow my business? I could be international!
Me: Hawaii is part of the US.
Then he laughed and I laughed and it was just good fun.
My husband is a property manager and was talking about a client/someone who has an office in Florida and they split their time now between Maine and Florida, which naturally turned into a joke about how it's not a "vacation" in Florida, he's "working" so he "can't" bring his wife. So he starts making remarks about having to meet a new potential client in Maui, and he'll be gone for two weeks.
Me: Yeah, not going to fly.
Him: But don't you want me to grow my business? I could be international!
Me: Hawaii is part of the US.
Then he laughed and I laughed and it was just good fun.
There's a Co-worker of mine I call "Crabby Charlotte". She's not in the office everyday, but whenever she does show up, without a doubt she nags me and accuses me of being "Disrespectful" If I react with anything less than complete kowtowing. I think it's mostly because I'm a temp and she's a high and mighty supervisor.
Well, it looks like Crabby Charlotte won't be bugging me for the next couple of weeks, because she's having surgery and needs to recuperate!
Well, it looks like Crabby Charlotte won't be bugging me for the next couple of weeks, because she's having surgery and needs to recuperate!
For anyone who might need a laugh at my expense:
Fluffy is very fluffy. With lots of thick white hair that she's shedding out because it's spring. Went into her paddock to put her blanket on, she's covered in loose hair and clearly she rolled. I wipe her with my hand a few times to get some off.
It comes off in clouds...directly into my face because wind.
I reach up to wipe the hair off my face.
Suddenly I have 10x more hair on my face. In my eyes. In my nose, in my mouth. So I stood there for several minutes spitting and coughing trying to get hair off my face with hands and arms and sleeves and shirt and everything in the world was covered in white hair.
Fluffy is very fluffy. With lots of thick white hair that she's shedding out because it's spring. Went into her paddock to put her blanket on, she's covered in loose hair and clearly she rolled. I wipe her with my hand a few times to get some off.
It comes off in clouds...directly into my face because wind.
I reach up to wipe the hair off my face.
Suddenly I have 10x more hair on my face. In my eyes. In my nose, in my mouth. So I stood there for several minutes spitting and coughing trying to get hair off my face with hands and arms and sleeves and shirt and everything in the world was covered in white hair.
Work has been insane this week. My day yesterday what just absolute chaos. Today I'm trying to get my regular job done while also trying to sort through the bookkeeping. My fuck it bucket is full.
Phone rings. I have to answer it.
Her: This is so and so calling from Windows Technical support calling about your computer. How are you today?
Me:
I am confident that this call is a scam and you ha--
Her: *CLICK*
Phone rings. I have to answer it.
Her: This is so and so calling from Windows Technical support calling about your computer. How are you today?
Me:
I am confident that this call is a scam and you ha--Her: *CLICK*
And you didn't swear or anything!Work has been insane this week. My day yesterday what just absolute chaos. Today I'm trying to get my regular job done while also trying to sort through the bookkeeping. My fuck it bucket is full.
Phone rings. I have to answer it.
Her: This is so and so calling from Windows Technical support calling about your computer. How are you today?
Me:
Her: *CLICK*
