CARA - Christian Authors Running Amok

why don't you start one? i know for a fact that there are many christians at AW with diverse interests and a huge fun streak.

I think we already have what you are looking for. Lots of Chrstian things talked about.

pete333 said:

No, I will give it a better name....like the Christian Fight Club, no..., uh, ...Christian Night Club, no...CARA or

C hristian
A uthors
R unning
A mok

hmmmm.....

Click to expand...

Well, I decided to rename the thread to match.

Activity here in the CF seems to go in waves. Right now we're in a slow period. Perhaps this will stir things up.

Thanks and

I'll start:

Moderator's Note To All: Please see the GROUND RULES post.

Southern Baptist Joke:

You might be Southern Baptist if:

- You think John the Baptist started the SBC.
- Your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.
- You think Jesus actually used Welch's grape juice and saltine crackers.
- You believe that you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven.
- You complain that the pastor only works one day and then he works too long.
- You clapped in church and felt guilty about it all week.
- You have never sung the third verse of any hymn.

Hi guys,

I'm so excited to see this thread because I wanted to start one! I see a lot of the other boards have "regulars" who interact and talk about the ups and downs of the writing game, but I'd love to meet some fellow Christians and Christian writers.

I'll do the little intro. Picture the meeting where I stand up. "Hi everybody, I'm Krista, and I'm a Christian, and a writer!"..."Hi Krista!" Just kidding! I'm currently riding the query go round with my Semi Christian YA about Teenage Angels. Since I'm a glutton for punishment, I've decided to start querying my adult book The Road to Damascus.

Since it has some semi-thematic old time Baptist themes, I couldn't help laughing at the Southern Baptist joke. My church is more Old Timey Baptist than Southern. We're hard core with our own homemade wine and real bread. But yeah, the fellowship and covered dish is TOTALLY true!!!



Southern Baptist Joke:

You might be Southern Baptist if:

- You think John the Baptist started the SBC.
- Your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.
- You think Jesus actually used Welch's grape juice and saltine crackers.
- You believe that you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven.
- You complain that the pastor only works one day and then he works too long.
- You clapped in church and felt guilty about it all week.
- You have never sung the third verse of any hymn.

.

CACTUSWENDY said:

An Atheist

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not an atheist."
Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a Christian."
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.
"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.
"What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
She paused, and smiled. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."

Click to expand...

OUCH!!!!!!!! But I liked it, I didn't even know Christians could joke about something like tat, I my hang just for laughs....lololol....

Interesting joke, although we know the stats on such an assertion, which is interestingly adolescent. So it's not funny because it's true, it's funny because it's sad.

I'll keep in good spirit, too.

AMC

pete333 said:

No, I will give it a better name....like the Christian Fight Club, no..., uh, ...Christian Night Club, no...CARA or

C hristian
A uthors
R unning
A mok

hmmmm.....

Click to expand...

Don't know if this seals the name (or if you already knew this) but cara means friend in Irish so I reckon it's fairly fitting!

The End is Near

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"

Deb Kinnard said:

This reminds me of the chat my crit partner & I had lately -- how to tell whether you're a Protestant or Catholic. She says if you find a Bible verse that speaks to you, and you go find a priest to tell you how to think about it, you're Catholic. I say if you find a Bible verse that speaks to you, and you start a new denomination based on that verse, you're Protestant.

Is that amok enough?

Click to expand...

Your crit partner may go to the priest to tell you how to think about it but that's NOT the common Catholic experience. As a lifelong Catholic, I have never gone to ask a priest what to think about any Bible verse!

GROUND RULES

Okay, people. We need to have some ground rules. Religious jokes can be divisive and we really don't want that. And yet, we should be able to laugh at ourselves.

Therefore, if you post any jokes, make sure they are about YOUR OWN religious tradition.

I posted Southern Baptist jokes because, while I was not raised in the SBC, the Baptist tradition I grew up in (Baptist General Conference - BGC) is incredibly close.

So let's keep the jokes light-hearted and in a spirit of fun.

Secondly, let's all assume good will on the part of the person posting the joke and not be too quick to take umbrage. Religious jokes are often based on pre-conceptions and stereotypes. But that can offer us a chance to "see ourselves as others see us".

Thanks.

My father was raised Baptist. My mom, Christian Scientist. How they became Episcopalians is a long story. At any rate, here's my contribution:

How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?

* None. The old one is complete and sufficient by itself, and should not be changed according to the world's whims.
* Four. One to call the electrician, one to clear it with the vestry, and two to argue about how much better candles were.
* Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to create an organization for the preservation of the old bulb.
* A whole congregation. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
* . . .What do you mean change? I'll have you know my grandfather bought that light bulb, and I'm not going see anyone change that on some stupid whim. That's the problem today -- no respect for what our families have put into this church all these years....


I am neither Catholic nor Irish, but I love this joke from this Making Light Post

The circus was in town, and a couple of the members of the acrobat troupe decided to seek out the Catholic Church for confession. The good father heard them one at a time, then finally perplexed, blurted out, "I can't quite place your accents, are you from around here?"

He was told that no, they were some acrobats from the visiting circus. "What kinds of things do you do?" he asked. Whereupon the acrobats started demonstrating their talents in the aisles of the church to the priest who had come out of the confessional to watch.

Whereupon Rosie O'Grady and Molly Malloy walk through the doors. Rosie takes one look at the goings on and exclaims to Molly , "Ach Molly, an' look at what the good father's givin for penance today. An' me without a stitch of underdrawers on!"

Snarky for these purposes is defined as something I chose to delete.