Yet another "church question"

BrookieCookie777 · Feb 24, 2008

Hi guys, =)

Just one more church question for you. As most of you know, my family and I are driving 800 miles to visit a church I may be taking a job with. Will be staying 3 days. They think that our kids are coming along. They've planned us a dinner and such and I will also be giving my first children's sermon on Sunday. Thing is we will have to leave 5 am on Saturday and as soon as we get there it will be time for the dinner. The next day I will be at the church from about 9-4. Sunday School, my sermon, church and then meeting with the teenagers. The next day my hubby has an interview and we are going to look at houses. Wow . . . try to say all that in one breath! =)

Anyways, my question is do you guys think it will look bad if I do not bring the kids? After I stopped to think about it, they are going to be SO tired. Ages are 2, 4 and 7 - and that's a long trip.

God bless you guys and girls . . .and Thanks a million! =)

Shwebb · Feb 24, 2008

If you think the whole trip is going to be too much for them and you have a place for them to stay, don't take them. Or take the oldest or the two oldest if you feel like they can handle it and if they'd like to go.

My kids love any sort of trip, and even the two-year-old travels well. I recently took two round-trips to Mt. Airy--both times included stopping to eat and visit just a little, and the trip lasted about 14 hours total. The first time I took my six-year-old, and the second time I took the four-year-old. Both of them handled the whole experience pretty easily.

You and your husband are the ones who know your kids the best and what their limits are. And the church will hopefully respect the decision you make.

Plot Device · Feb 24, 2008

Just tell the church ahead of time that you and your husband have decided against bringing the children because of how long the road trip will be. Just don't surprise the church by failing to bring the kids when they orignally thought you would. That kind of a surprise can result in hurt feelings --like maybe somebody might be planning to cook up something very special JUST for the kids (like cookies or brownies whatever) and then when you and your husband arrive and step forth from your car and there are no kiddies with you, those cookies will have been made in vain. I know that all sounds silly, but people can get utterly crushed by things like that. So make your arrangements with that church NOW, well before those cookies get baked.

Robin Bayne · Feb 25, 2008

Plot Device said:
Just tell the church ahead of time that you and your husband have decided against bringing the children because of how long the road trip will be. Just don't surprise the church by failing to bring the kids when they orignally thought you would. That kind of a surprise can result in hurt feelings --like maybe somebody might be planning to cook up something very special JUST for the kids (like cookies or brownies whatever) and then when you and your husband arrive and step forth from your car and there are no kiddies with you, those cookies will have been made in vain. I know that all sounds silly, but people can get utterly crushed by things like that. So make your arrangements with that church NOW, well before those cookies get baked.

I agree!! Just let them know ahead of time.

BrookieCookie777 · Feb 26, 2008

Thanks guys. Great point Shwebb. Perhaps they will take traveling a lot better than I suspected. Our 2 year old and 4 year old are going through a phase were they just can't keep their hands to their self. They are constantly pushing and shoving. I'm just afraid that a long car ride might make them more tempermental. Wow. Ps - if any one knows Super Nanny's phone number please send it by. lol

Great idea, Plot. I was thinking that too. I think I may ask tonight if they would be terribly disappointed if the little ones didn't come along. I will tell them that my mother in law has offered to watch over them for the weekend if we would like her too. I really want to take the kids. I mean, as a "youth" minister I feel like they should be there. It is a long ride though. Perhaps if I was going to be the adult pastor it might not be so hard to decide but, my own kids will be a big part of my job.

Inspire thanks for chiming in. I'm going to email the church tonight and see what we can come up with.

Thanks guys! Love and hugs!

Brookie

bluntforcetrauma · Feb 26, 2008

BrookieCookie777 said:
Hi guys, =)

Just one more church question for you. As most of you know, my family and I are driving 800 miles to visit a church I may be taking a job with. Will be staying 3 days. They think that our kids are coming along. They've planned us a dinner and such and I will also be giving my first children's sermon on Sunday. Thing is we will have to leave 5 am on Saturday and as soon as we get there it will be time for the dinner. The next day I will be at the church from about 9-4. Sunday School, my sermon, church and then meeting with the teenagers. The next day my hubby has an interview and we are going to look at houses. Wow . . . try to say all that in one breath! =)

Anyways, my question is do you guys think it will look bad if I do not bring the kids? After I stopped to think about it, they are going to be SO tired. Ages are 2, 4 and 7 - and that's a long trip.

God bless you guys and girls . . .and Thanks a million! =)

They might think you have your priorities wrong if you don't bring them with you. Not what I said, it's what some might think.

BrookieCookie777 · Feb 28, 2008

Thanks, Blunt. That's exactly what I thought as well. I want to take them with us and we decided to bring them along. I just feel like it's imporatant that they be there since it's a very big move and they will be with me every Sunday and Wednesday.

Hugs!

Norman D Gutter · Feb 28, 2008

No pastoral candidate--for senior pastor or staff position--in any church I've been at has ever brought their children for the interview. I doubt anyone expects you to. Bring pictures and show them at every opportunity.

Oops. Looking at the date this thread was started, I may be too late with this.

NDG

Pat~ · Feb 28, 2008

I'm with NDG on this one. I think that'd be a pretty big assumption on a church's part that your priorities were 'wrong' because you chose to let your children enjoy a weekend with grandparents rather than subject them to a long trip (esp. at the ages your kids are). I think that seems like a reasonable thing for you to do, in fact--so that you can focus on meeting with the church and discussing your qualifications for the job. I would hope that the job qualifications didn't include proving to them that you are always on call as Mommy 24/7.

I guess what I'm saying is, do what is best for your kids and your needs for that weekend, and don't let other people's possible misinterpretations control your decision.

BrookieCookie777 · Feb 29, 2008

Thanks guys. This is very helpful indeed. I got mixed signals from the church about bringing the kids. They asked me last night if the kids would be joining us for dinner. They sounded a bit suprised when I said yes. Then they also said that their kids would be really excited to get to play with them because the kids had hoped they would come.

So confused!

Norman and Pat, do you think that they will understand if we want to bring them? I mean this is an 800 mile trip for us and I also have to think about the schools, if the kids like it there and so forth. This would be our only trip to really "do it all" and see if it is the right place for us not only as a church but as a home.

Thanks! =)

Norman D Gutter · Feb 29, 2008

Yes, I think they will understand. I've been involved in committees that interviewed senior pastors and staff. Had any of those people said they wanted to bring their kids on the trip, we would not have objected. We might have objected to pay the expenses of the kids, because, after all, the kids aren't the ones being hired.

My observation was more from the view of the minister coming for the interview. In every case, they have not brought their children; only one was an empty-nester. Children add a measure of complication to the interview process, more for the one being interviewed than by the committee.

So bring them if you want. It won't make a difference in the outcome of the interview, IMHO.

NDG

BrookieCookie777 · Feb 29, 2008

Thanks Norman! =)

I emailed the church and the chairman just called me and said that they prefered that I bring the kids because their kids were anxious to met them. So that REALLY set my mind at ease. I just didn't want to cause a strain on any of their normal procedures. So, yay! =)

Thanks guys. I will write sometime next week and let you all know how it goes! =)

Blessings, hugs and snuggle-bugs,
Brookie

Pat~ · Feb 29, 2008

Sounds like you did the wise thing, then, in communicating to them about it. Hope all goes well!

windyrdg · Feb 29, 2008

If the church wanted to be really helpful, they might arrange some babysitting so you and hubby could house shop, etc. I have no idea how you'd sugest such a thing without it coming off wrong, though.

A few years ago I heard a wonderful phrase. A candidate said they were, "testing the vocation." The idea being that if you feel called in a certain direction, send out feelers, take the first step. If something comes of it, then God must be behind it. If not, then it was never meant to happen anyway. Makes the whole process a lot less stressful.

Good Luck, we're still praying for you.

dobiwon · Feb 29, 2008

If it's not too late (well, even if it is too late) -- Good Luck. It sounds like you've really got a lot to offer and if it were up to me -- you'd get the job hands down!

dadburnett · Mar 2, 2008

This is a little off the subject, but I thought I’d share an experience. We went to a church which had recently hired a minister. The new minister’s arrival was still several weeks away, but he had made a series of short videos of himself and family. A new video was shown in church each Sunday until his arrival. Each had a short personal informal msg with a bit of humor, about him and his family – what a great way to introduce one’s self and family to the new congregation!

sassandgroove · Mar 3, 2008

Sounds like you've resolved whether to take them or not. I am a minister's kid and my parents always took me along on interviews. I liked it and didn't all at once. I felt like i was being scrutinized, not just my parents, but I also liked to be in on the decision. My parents would ask me what I thought of a place. Once when I was 17, my dad brought me for part of the process instead of my mom so I could see the church and the town, meet the people and visit the school. It helped me transition since I wanted to stay where we were to finish my senior year. The visit helped me decide to move with my parents. Good luck if you havent' gone yet. God be with you.

BrookieCookie777 · Mar 8, 2008

Hi Pat, thanks for all your help and encouragement! Blessings! =)

Windy, thank you for your advice and kind words. That's a wonderful idea. We are taking steps to find my hubby a good job and find a nice home in the area. We're trusting that if it's God's will He will work it all out. God bless and thanks for the PM. It was so nice to know that you were thinking of my family and I. =)

Aw, Don. You are just so sweet! =) Thank you for those kind words. You're awesome. God bless!

Dad - thanks for sharing that wonderful story! That is an excellent idea. I did something similar (although not as cool). I sent photos, silly stuff and info about my family and I to the youth every week through the mail. That was really fun. When we arrived it made it easier to chat because they already knew so much about us. God bless you! =)

Sassy, thank you so much for that inside advice. It really helps me know what my own children must be going through. I know that they feel the pressure to of "all eyes" on them. Thank you so much for your input. How lovely to get an inside view. Thank you for your kind words. The last line was especially dear to me. =) God bless you! =)

Thank you all for your prayers - so, so much. You are all so special to me. God bless you all abundantly!!! Hugs!

Brookie

Yet another "church question"

BrookieCookie777

Shwebb

She's the creepy-looking dude

Plot Device

A woman said to write like a man.

Robin Bayne

~writes for Him~

BrookieCookie777

bluntforcetrauma

Esquire

BrookieCookie777

Norman D Gutter

Engineer Sonneteer

Pat~

Luftmensch Emeritus, A.D.D.

BrookieCookie777

Norman D Gutter

Engineer Sonneteer

BrookieCookie777

Pat~

Luftmensch Emeritus, A.D.D.

windyrdg

New kid, be gentle!

dobiwon

Planning to retire for the 5th time

dadburnett

sassandgroove

Sassy haircut

BrookieCookie777