First novel compulete!!!! Now I have a few questions

Before you get to specifics on any of these questions, you need to define "complete". Have you edited it at all? 155K is pretty long for a first novel to be attractive to an agent or publisher, in most cases. Any number of threads can be found here addressing this issue.

caw

You generally don't worry about formatting very much in a manuscript to be submitted. Nobody cares if sentences end on another page. What does matter is making sure that you do not have errors that you have not seen because you are too closely involved. Have you had it checked over by a few others (family don't count for much, and friends can be worse)?

About the dialogs with the Voice - why not separate the different mental speakers just as you would a spoken dialog?

jedimaster107 said:

Question 1: i'm noticing either one word and the last sentence of the paragraph ends on the begining of the next page. How do I fix that?

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If you're using WordPerfect or MS Word (or any other full-featured WP), look up "widows and orphans" in the help menu. Widows and orphans are the industry terms for what you describe, and your word processor can automatically eliminate them (by ending the page a line earlier, so the next page has at least two lines of text).

Question 2:

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I'm not sure what you mean by formatting here. What I see is a passage that desperately needs editing. "Saw" is past tense, "seen" is past-perfect, and is not used without "had," "has," "have," etc., preceding it.
Bad grammar will most certainly sink any chance of publication, and "The last thing she heard or seen" is really bad on a number of levels (did she see OR hear him? One or the other, but not both? Why would that be?).

Question 3:

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The formatting choice you made is correct. However, I have to warn you against using more than two exclamation points (and virtually never use more than one). Even if it's a note written by a character in the novel, over-use of exclams is a blemish on a ms.

Question 4: In the story, the main female character hears a voice in her head. The dialogue for the voice is in italics so it blends in with the rest of the other charcter's thoughts.

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While I have no problem with your approach here, you should know that italics aren't used in manuscripts. Underline (which editors recognize as calling for italics) instead. There's no good reason for this, it's just a hangover from the days when all ms's were typed on typewriters (which didn't have italics). Publishing is largely a hide-bound industry.

Given the fact that agents generally don't want to see first novels longer than 110K words or so, and the fact that both the examples you cite and your post itself are shot through with grammatical and spelling errors, I'd say you're another beta-read (by someone well versed in English grammar and usage) and a full rewrite away from querying agents.

Matera the Mad said:

You generally don't worry about formatting very much in a manuscript to be submitted. Nobody cares if sentences end on another page.

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This is directly contrary to what I've read in books on getting published, all of which said eliminating widows and orphans is de rigueur, and that leaving them is unprofessional.

And given that all full-featured word processors will take care of them automatically...

jedimaster107 said:

The story is done. I finished up the finally round of rewriting monday. Now it's time to see about getting it published.

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Have you edited as well?

wayndom said:

This is directly contrary to what I've read in books on getting published, all of which said eliminating widows and orphans is de rigueur, and that leaving them is unprofessional.

And given that all full-featured word processors will take care of them automatically...

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It's definitely best to present your work as professionally as possible, but I took that original statement as saying-an agent/editor reading your book is most likely not going to say, "Oops! They didn't turn off widows and orphans. Guess I won't accept THAT one." If your story is good, it's not going to be a deal breaker. And if your story is bad, whether you turned off widows and orphans is not going to matter anyway.

The last thing Rachel heard or seen was Jake’s worried face and voice…
“It’s going to be okay, sweetie.”
. . . Before she was engulfed into darkness.

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Shouldn't it be "heard or saw?"

jedimaster107 said:

I don't worry about word length. If it takes me 80k or 155k to tell the story, that's fine by me.

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That's cool although bear in mind it might not be fine with agents and publishers.

I'm keeping away from this one, I think...

Make sure you look for mispellings. You've got several in your posts, and one in the post title.

One of the first things you read when researching manuscript formatting is to leave the widows and orphans turned off. It's a manuscript (and not a final one at that) so it doesn't matter if the last word of a paragraph flops onto the next page. It's not about looking professional. A Professional manuscript will have 25 lines on a page so the editor can determine word count. It gets all screwed up when the lines on a page varies.

And yeah, judging by the numerous mispellings and gramatical mistakes in what little you've shown us, I can only imagine how many more there are in a 155k word manuscript. I hate to say it, but I think you've still got a lot of work to do.

I would like to say congratulations on finishing your first novel, but let me tell you: editing never ends. When I finish I draft, I like to set it aside for a month or so, and then look at it again with fresh eyes. You are certain to find more errors. Good luck!

Oh yeah, underline, don't use italics.

Pop your first chapter into the Share-Your-Work Forum here.

It's a pretty good bet any minor flaws in that chapter - be they grammatical or otherwise - will be scattered all the way through the manuscript, and the exercise may help focus your editing.

I wish my WIP were compulete.

Firstly, congratulations on the completion of your novel!

jedimaster107 said:

Several times I asked my husband who to spell a word or if this sentence sounded right.

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I hope you don't mind my asking, but just how forgiving is your husband? The best advice I give to people seeking criticism is to pick someone neutral.

There was a guy I [used to] chat to over MSN, and he'd always be sending over his short screenplays in search of feedback. I was always brutally honest in my critique, but that's not to suggest that I was unfair. I let him down nicely. But that wasn't good enough for him.

He told me I was mean-spirited, and his scripts must be excellent because his friend/ father/ uncle (who worked in television production)/ family friend (who worked in advertising) told him so. I advised him to send his scripts to someone with which he had no emotional ties, like myself. He then said he wasn't ready for that yet, and despite me warning him that I would be consistently honest were he to send me any more material, he kept on doing it.

The final nail in the coffin was his statement that went something along the lines of "...you're younger than me therefore I don't have to listen to you." He's only a year or so older than I am, and had I been close to him at the time I think I would've punched him.

He blocked me soon after I gave him a rollocking, and we haven't been in contact since. Which is probably a good thing, as you can probably gather that he's extremely stubborn.

If I were you I'd follow Bufty's advice and get some faceless feedback in the SYW forum.

Wow, why would you even bother trying with someone like that, Odd? After the first time of them calling me "mean-spirited" I would have told them to find someone who would just stroke their ego and immediately return any material they sent me.

You have a lot more patience than I do.

Wow!
Congratulations on finishing your book! That's a really great accomplishment, and isn't diminished in any way by taking the suggestions of everyone here who has suggested that it may need some further editing to clear up grammar and maybe tighten it up some. I'll add my voice to those who suggest having someone other than family and friends look at it.
Good luck!

I don't know why everybody says to underline instead of using italics...I used italics. I did through out my submittal and publication process with William Morris Agency and with Putnam.
This is in several other threads throughout AW introduced on and off again -- and all I can say is at the querying stage for your manuscript use italics. I would discourage you from using any font other than times new roman or courier.

What they do in copyediting (and I don't mean proof reading- I mean at the point that your manuscript that has been accepted for publication is sent to copyediting department by the publisher) is entirely different and each publishing house differs with their house style.
Again-- it is nothing you need worry about until your work is sold.
There are lots of threads here on manuscript preparation...

Sorry off on a tangent.
You need more editing...I agree with the consensus of opinion -- from the short examples you have given-- it appears that you have much more work to do.