Drama in Real Life

Kudra · Oct 11, 2007

How do you cope with the ups and downs of your characters' lives when your own life is a never-ending drama?

I'm finding it extremely hard to focus lately. There's been a lot going on in the personal front, and I'm so wrapped up in my own agony, I haven't been able to pay attention to the fictional world in my head.

How do you keep the focus when the real world gets too hard to handle?

ChaosTitan · Oct 11, 2007

When the real world gets hard, writing is my escape from it. For a little while, I can sit and wallow in the lives of other people. Writing also gives me a sense of control when the world spins off-kilter. My fingers are on the keyboard, so I can choose whether this character is happy or sad, lives or dies, loves or loses.

Focus, though, usuallly isn't the issue I have. Once I'm there, I'm there. It's finding the energy, while everthing else is happening in my life, to focus in the first place. But once I do, the catharsis is great.

C.bronco · Oct 11, 2007

Kudra said:
How do you cope with the ups and downs of your characters' lives when your own life is a never-ending drama? Send my protags to a day at the spa?

I'm finding it extremely hard to focus lately. There's been a lot going on in the personal front, and I'm so wrapped up in my own agony, I haven't been able to pay attention to the fictional world in my head.

How do you keep the focus when the real world gets too hard to handle?

I come here, to AW. Thank you, AW! :Hug2:

It's okay to take brief breaks from writing when life gets in the way.

MidnightMuse · Oct 11, 2007

I use writing the same way I use work as an escape when home is having problems. Immerse yourself in your characters lives, and soon you'll start to forget your own problems, at least for those hours you spend writing. It'll be a break for yourself, and a boon for your characters.

mscelina · Oct 11, 2007

I go into my study with a two liter of Coke and a bag of cookies, turn off the phone, lock the door, crank up whatever music suits what I'm writing, and write. Then I find a way to channel all of that everyday angst into what I'm working on.

NicoleMD · Oct 11, 2007

I read.

Escaping to another world helps, and even better if you do it more "passively" than having to write your own. I usually get about five or ten pages before ideas on my own novel start poking at me. Then when I can't take it anymore, I shut the book and get to writing.

Nicole

Jamesaritchie · Oct 11, 2007

Escape

Writing is my escape, as well. I think this is where the importance of a room with a door on it is important. A door, a lock, and the willingness to lock the door.

For me, a small writing space is better. Even with a big office, I find that isolating one area, shutting if off from the rest of the room, forming a refuge, a place where the rest of the world vanishes, is paramount.

My life has been filled with all sorts of drama the last five years or so, including going into a coma twice, almost dying, along with the usual assortment of family and financial crises.

My escape, as well as the resolution to most of these problems, lies in the refuge of a room with a door, and writing.

JoNightshade · Oct 11, 2007

When I was young and my life was devoid of any significant problems, I loved to write tragedy and wallow in all that good stuff.

Since I've experienced some scary/hard/heartbreaking stuff myself, I find that my stories are ending more happily. My characters go through rough times, but in the end they manage to pull through and cope somehow. I think working through these things with my characters helps me feel like I can work it through in my own life.

Reading tragedies is more painful now than it used to be, probably because I now have someone of my own who I would be crushed to lose.

Del · Oct 11, 2007

The door doesn't help when your 15 year old is in need of constant attention. Knock Knock..."Dad?"

I'd like to shut my self up in a dark room and know I wouldn't be disturbed...but there is no chance with things as they are. I love to write but lately I just can't get into my writing mind. And on the rare occasion that I make it to my little place...knock knock "Dad?"

So when life has me down...which is quite often since I am a do-it-yourselfer but can't do half of what I used to due to a (undiagnosed) disability (over the last 10 years I've lost a good bit of my fine motoring ability, i.e. just stirring coffee takes concentration), no more drawing, no more model building, no more tinkering...even writing is many times harder than it used to be. I'd love to give my characters some of my grief.

...I hop on my motorcycle and ride to someplace I've never been before.

...and...just 'cause I like...ellipses.

Judg · Oct 11, 2007

JoNightshade said:
When I was young and my life was devoid of any significant problems, I loved to write tragedy and wallow in all that good stuff.

Since I've experienced some scary/hard/heartbreaking stuff myself, I find that my stories are ending more happily. My characters go through rough times, but in the end they manage to pull through and cope somehow. I think working through these things with my characters helps me feel like I can work it through in my own life.

Reading tragedies is more painful now than it used to be, probably because I now have someone of my own who I would be crushed to lose.

I find my tolerance for bleak writing has dropped a lot over the years too. It's so much easier to deal with when you're young and you haven't been through it yourself. Now that I know what it's like to cry for hours on end night after night (not going through that now, thank God) I really don't care to revisit that kind of pain if I don't have to.

I have not developed a taste for saccharine stories though. They still make me gag. A little sweetness is really good, too much and you have all the substance of cotton candy.

Jamesaritchie · Oct 11, 2007

Door

I trained my kids from very early on to never knock on the door when I'm writing. I even had a humorous, though meaningful sign on the door. But if it was not a real emergency, there was to be no disturbing dad during writing hours, and I formed enough storm clouds over the years to make it stick.

Barring a true emergency, which I define, the hours inside my office are still mine.

LilliCray · Oct 11, 2007

I attempt to tell my mom that I'm going to write and to not disturb me. Before I open my mouth, she cuts in with a stupid task such as feeding the animals... feeding myself... taking a shower... waking up... et cetera... et cetera...

I... like... ellipses... too... ... ... ... ... ... ... .................................

No, seriously, I either read or write. Recently it's been more read than write. I prefer the times when it's more write than read. Groan... (ellipsis!)

Del · Oct 11, 2007

My wife was speaking of her work where distractions are common. She read a study had determined that when distracted from a task, people usually take a half hour to get back to what they were doing. Things like, 'well, my thoughts are already broken so...' go to the bathroom, get a snack, check email, waste time on AW

...and once they get back to what they were working on it can take another 15 minutes to immerse themselves to the same level of concentration they were distracted from.

Robyn · Oct 11, 2007

I have to agree with most of those above.. writing is my escape and my life has been very very chaotic and stressful as of late. Good thing i write paranormal and fantasy. Great way to get out of this world and into one that I can use to forget this place for awhile.

Scrawler · Oct 11, 2007

Kudra said:
How do you cope with the ups and downs of your characters' lives when your own life is a never-ending drama?

I use it. I write out my emotions as my character when they're "hot"-- fear, anger, frustration, despair. Later, I try to work them into the story where appropriate.
Life's ups and downs become potential conflicts or possible subplots, whether it's family trouble, financial issues, health, etc. I like making my characters suffer the same realities as I might, only for them I make it worse. It's all fodder.

ZannaPerry · Oct 11, 2007

Just yesterday I was thinking the same thing and have actually finished outlining my current WIP. I had a lot of fun putting it together, but now that I have all the pieces together, it's like......what now? I have so much going on around me I have no idea when and how to start my story. I can't focus. I want to write it, but can't. . . right now.

SpookyWriter · Oct 11, 2007

Kudra said:
How do you cope with the ups and downs of your characters' lives when your own life is a never-ending drama?

I wish I knew this answer because I have a life of drama that is the story of books.

I work for a fortune fifty company implementing (programming) a new way of processing (preparing) their products from beginning-to-end. We just discovered a glitch five weeks before going into production. Nothing I can't handle in a couple weeks, but the stress is driving me nutty.

Plus I have two more court hearings this year for custody of my son. On top of that, I'm continuing to pay $1500 a month is support while this issues wanders through the system. Which has gone on for almost three years.

So when I can write it (the act) is a blessing. Still I have no magic spell and just try to focus on my story. Not like it's going to be more interesting than my real life story. But what the heck!

Oh, and did I mention I sleep on a cot?

Del · Oct 11, 2007

SpookyWriter said:
Oh, and did I mention I sleep on a cot?

I thought they let you out.

takkunelwood · Oct 11, 2007

I'm in a life slump right now, and writing a section about my characters' negative experiences in school isn't helping my overall mood, what with dredging up of old JH/HS memories (from multiple schools) to work from. I also have to watch myself and keep from revenge writing, writing things how they happened verbatim. Even harder that the antagonist kids have the same names as their RL counterparts until I come up with something better for them.

SpookyWriter · Oct 11, 2007

Delarege said:
I thought they let you out.

They did let me out. I had a nice bed in the big house. Two square meals a day, interesting conversation, and no pressures what-so-ever. Then they opened the back door and pushed me back into this world of stress, overloaded expectations, and endless drama from work, family, friends, and courts.

Send me back, please. I had better living arrangements and no stress.

Novelhistorian · Oct 11, 2007

When I'm down, really down, sometimes the only thing that can bring me up is a good writing session. If I can knock off work believing that I've fleshed out a character who was two-dimensional, written a scene I'm proud of, or even just figured out a way to resolve a problem with the plot, then I can feel better. I think, They can't take that away from me.

Hummingbird · Oct 11, 2007

When I'm under alot of stress I write or go walking. It's really hard to write a stressful scene when I'm stressed though. Walking is what I usually end up doing. I love it when I don't have somewhere I need to be and I can just focus on walking. After an hour or two I feel better and can usually get my head back into writing mode. Sometimes I walk until it's too late in the day for me to write and my brain is shutting off, but at least it's more fit for the next day.

Kudra · Oct 12, 2007

Thanks everyone. Some really good ideas here. I think I'm going to try and use the anger and pain to create more real characters.

One of my problems has been focus, and finding the energy like someone said. There's so much going on in my head that I tend to obsess about, and I lose sight of what's before me in terms of the story and the writing.

Baby steps, I guess. I'll do a word, a sentence, a paragraph-- whatever gets me closer.

jodiodi · Oct 12, 2007

I sleep. Then, when I wake up, things don't seem so overwhelming.

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