I am a closet novelist

Nope, not me. I don't talk about it incessantly, but pretty well everyone knows I'm a writer. I learned in carpentry to own my failures and if I fail as a writer, oh well. Because you know what? Only a very few people can even complete one novel, let alone three. So you and I, we're already not failures. THe only novelists that I would even remotely consider close to failures are the ones that start, proclaiming loudly to all that they'll be published by the end of the year because they are writing the next best thing, and who fizzle out after two chapters and have excuses ready for not finishing the thing. Usually, those people do the same thing with everything else in their lives and that's what makes them failures.

Three novels? Are you kidding? That's something to be proud of. And heck, you've signed with one of them, so you are so past that failure line. Tell somebody else, anybody. Somebody at work. YOu don't have to come out of the closet, but maybe open the door just a crack.

I guess I am, but not by choice.

People know I write novels, they just don't seem to know that I've finished them. I told people I was writing novels back in 8th grade and to this day (I'm a sophomore in college) they'll ask "Did you ever finish that novel?" or "Finish the book yet?" or "Did you want to write? Have you written anything?"

I mean, I finished that book years ago and have written a bunch more since then. I don't know where everyone's been. The people who know how much I write are my mom and one of my good friends, and even they don't really know how much I've written, I don't think.

It's okay, though. One day when I'm published I'll enjoy peoples' surprised faces when they find out that I "actually finished" something.

I'm out and proud. Everyone knows I write books. They ask occasionally how it's going although I've noticed as time goes on, they ask less.

I've never really thought about what happens if/when I don't get published because I'll still write.

Never thought about being "in the closet", but I guess I am, too. Or at least I try to be.

I've only told my wife. My wife told my step-daughter, which was understandable. My wife let the cat out of the bag in front of her parents, which I really wish she hadn't.

I know of at least two of her freinds she has told, including our nextdoor neighbour. And I know at least one of those friends has told at least one of her adult sons because he brought up the subject to me at a party a couple of months ago.

Nobody I work with knows and, as far as I'm aware, nobody on my side of the family knows.

It reminds me of when I was 19 and working at Toys "R" Us. On the ride into work one day, me and a friend that I worked with started talking about getting away. One of us mentioned thinking about joining the Air Force and the other one said they had been thinking about doing the same thing.

By the end of the day I had half the people in the store coming up to me and saying "So, you're joining the Air Force?". No. I had only mentioned to somebody I was thinking about joining the Air Force. I did eventually sign up six months later, but I had to put up with "I thought you were joining the Air Force" for the next 6 months until I was ready to do it. And my friend who went around telling everybody we were joining never did enlist.

I'm sort of in the closet, I suppose. I have a few people who know that I write, family members and friends from when I lived down in London, when I was first starting to think about publishing. Most of the people who know about it don't want to talk about it though. My family get very uncomfortable around the whole subject for some reason. At work, I've told one person whom I know quite well (she also used to be my neighbour) but although I quite often scribble notes on the back of scripts or in my notebook while I'm waiting for the next cue, I've never mentioned it to anyone else. My boss, for instance, has a thing about people getting a job in her department solely so they can then move on into journalism and get on TV, so I avoid mentioning writing in case she thinks that's what I'm after too.

My friends down in London, when I go to meet up again, quite often ask how the writing is going, but they also do that 'oh, so you're not published, why not?' thing a lot, which kind of puts me off mentioning it.

Prawn said:

So, here's the question for those of you who are unpublished like me: Are you a closet novelist?

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When I was younger and full of hopes and dreams I told everyone who would listen that I was a writer. When I started my first few novels, I told everyone that I was writing a novel. I even had some people read the first few chapters.

But then all my novels stalled. I've said it before, they all stopped around Chapter 4 for whatever reason. I was stuck there for years.

And somewhere in that period I stopped telling people I was a writer, stopped telling them I was working on a novel. In fact, just a few weeks ago my own mother asked, "what ever happened to all those stories you used to write? Did you quit?"

So I keep it to myself. Only my wife knows I'm looking for an agent. And its' pretty much for the same reasons you listed. I don't want to be known as a failed writer.

Once I'm published and have something to show people, I'll come out of the closet, but until then, why does anyone need to know?

As far as my hidden kinks go, my writing doesn't even register...

Hah, never thought to call it ' closet writer', good one! In fact, that's one of the interesting things about this forum. The first thing you guys know about me is one of the last things I tell people.

Very few people know I write, some know I dream of writing and no one knows how serious I am about it (apart from the odd joke I make about my wip being the next bestseller, which I don't believe ). A good friend of mine knows what the story's about, has read the first attempt at an opening, but now it's changed so much that she wouldn't think it's the same story.

It's not on purpose - I just like writing with my door closed for now, it always seems so strange when I try to talk about my story with someone else. It's also my first novel (don't want to remember the beyond-crappy things I wrote a while back), so I have no reason to talk too much about it. It's just a dream now, so the best I can do is stick to it, write on and have fun about it here on AW. That's quite enough right now - until the day I call all my long-forgotten relatives to my book release, heh. Hope to be still around by then, yeh AWers are my choice over relatives anytime.

Shadow_Ferret said:

Once I'm published and have something to show people, I'll come out of the closet, but until then, why does anyone need to know?

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I don't even plan to tell people after I publish a novel (I write fiction under a pen name). I once had a "fan" who sent me a little gift every time he saw a new magazine piece from me, and the attention made me uncomfortable. I'd rather keep my writing life separate from the rest of my life.

Yes, I am, for the same reasons that you mention, Prawn. I'm very good about enthusiastically starting projects, but not so good at finishing them, and I had no idea how productive I would be when I started writing. My parents, in-laws, sister, spouse and closest friend know that I write, but I think that is pretty much it. And even those people didn't know until I had been writing for about a year. I'm glad I didn't tell anyone, as my first novel attempt was trunked. I have finished one, which I am incredibly proud of, but I know I still have a ways to go before I can really say that I am done.

I'll jump in and join you Prawn.

I've not told anyone. I'm not as far along as you, but I've written one, editing now, and I'm about half of the way through number two.

I haven't looked for betas yet, but I have two people in mind. One is my father-in-law who is overly critical of me anyway (so no danger in hearing "OH MY GOSH YOU WROTE A BOOK IT'S AWESOME) and is possibly the only other person that reads more that I do. The other is his good friends wife who runs a close second in the amount of reading she does and will absolutely not hesitate in telling me what she thinks.

But for now, I don't tell anyone. Certainly no one at work. I'd like them to find out the day I can quit and write full time (maybe never, thus the need for secrecy).

I haven't told my wife and for a different reason. She would hate the genre I've chosen (horror). She's not a fan of horror movies or books so I wouldn't put her through that. Best case scenario is that I'm able to sell a book and show her the results of an offer. I think after I spill the beans she'd be an excellent editor. She's a teacher and a grammar fiend and could only make my writing better. My son is no problem, he's twenty months old so I doubt I'll read my stories to him until he's older.

The subject matter worries me the worst. My mother is an avid reader of chicklit/romance and whatever is on the Oprah circuit, but I have a feeling if I were to publish a book she'd read it out of motherly pride. Then I might scare the crap out of her and she'll think she did something wrong in raising me. Since I'm the self proclaimed black sheep of the family, this amuses me greatly.

My friends would care for crap. Most of them don't read anything besides the sports page or websites. They'd probably make me buy a round of drinks or something and think I was rolling in money in my spare time.

Sort of, I guess. The people who know I write also know I like to cook, ski, play tennis, ride horses and *gasp* watch reality TV shows. The acquaintances who I see frequently but who don't know I write also don't know those other things about me. It's not a secret, but it's also just not something I've shared with them yet. It's a "circle of trust" thing.

Prawn said:

(And let me beat PeeDee and ScarletPeaches to the punch and say no, I won't come out of the closet yet)

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Are you accusing me of taking cheap shots at other people for comedy value?!

Yup, I suppose I am. A few close friends and family know I write...oh, and I guess the blogosphere (although I'm not completely "out") there. But I'm not totally open about it with others...lots of friends, acquaintances and coworkers don't know. Heck, I haven't even told my parents...

Until I get published, it's just so much easier not to have to deal with all the well-meaning questions.

MeowGirl said:

I don't even plan to tell people after I publish a novel (I write fiction under a pen name). I once had a "fan" who sent me a little gift every time he saw a new magazine piece from me, and the attention made me uncomfortable. I'd rather keep my writing life separate from the rest of my life.

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Actually, I have no problem with that and have considered using a pen-name myself. My urban fantasy has a religious viewpoint that might offend or anger some people at our church and the church school we send our kids to.

I guess there is a part of me that went back into the closet after my first novel bombed. I didn't say anything to anyone for years. Then I finally completed my first novel and told a few friends and family.........a mistake. Everyone assumed I would then become a published author......didn't happen. I'm now back in the closet writing away. Perhaps if that dream of getting published ever comes trues, I might speak about it again.

Prawn said:

Why? I realize that finishing even one novel is an accomplishment, but if I write six or eight or ten novels and none get published, I may give up this time consuming enterprise, and I don't want to be known for the rest of my life as a failed novelist. I don't want people asking me for the next twenty years, "So, why aren't you published?" or "What ever happened to those novels you were working on?" I would rather try for a few years in secrecy, because if I fail, it will be my secret. If I do (ever, eventually, on of these days, maybe with novel number thirteen) get published, there will be plenty of time to tell everyone.

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You could count me in this group. My husband knows, but thinks of it as my little enterprise that keeps me entertained & from going quietly crazy as a stay-at-home mom. Every now & then when his job makes him nuts, he'll ask, "when you are you going to be multi-million-dollar novelist already so I can quit this d@mned job?" but it is jokingly.

And maybe that IS all it is, just something to occupy my mind and keep the synapses firing in between dishes and laundry, I don't know yet.

He told his mom and I freaked out. The last thing I need is one more thing for my in-laws to deride me about. I won't tell my family until I send them a copy of the hardback. Same for my in-laws. No one has commented or asked me about it directly, or asked him about it since.

On my second book I want my mother-in-law to be a beta, because she knows good fiction & she is an expert on history. But I wouldn't think of asking her before the first one is published -- otherwise she wouldn't take it (or me) seriously.

That's the biggest thing-- not wanting to be joked about behind your back, people making ugly comments. If you come from an extended family where one side thinks you are wasting your life because you are "just" a stay-at-home mom and the other side doesn't take you seriously because you weren't born to them so you are obviously WAY inferior to them ... then you tend to not say anything until you have something GREAT to say.



wee

This is interesting.

Why are we so private about sharing our passion? What are we so afraid of? Bullies in the schoolyard?

One foot in the closet, one foot out.

Of course my wife knows, because writing my novel - my first - is pretty much what I do all day. I also told my mother - who lives in another country - and an extremely limited number of friends and former colleagues.
Like many others, I'm a bit worried about getting questions of the type 'When is it getting published?' and 'When can I read it?'
So I won't be setting the second foot out of the closet until after I have signed a contract with a publisher, or until the book is actually in the shops somewhere.

I used the same quiet method when I wrote screenplays. In the end, I never managed to sell any of them, so staying quiet was a good policy.

joyce said:

I guess there is a part of me that went back into the closet after my first novel bombed. I didn't say anything to anyone for years. Then I finally completed my first novel and told a few friends and family.........a mistake. Everyone assumed I would then become a published author......didn't happen. I'm now back in the closet writing away. Perhaps if that dream of getting published ever comes trues, I might speak about it again.

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What Joyce said, except that now I'm out again for one reason: those who know, ask how it's going, and that creates the motivation I sometimes need to get on with it. They don't nag, it's more like I've got to have something to tell them, maybe an estimated percentage of completion, and it ought to show progress. The writing and planning and the rest of the craft I keep private, so that part's in the closet.

All my friends and neighbors know I'm writing and they ask me about it all the time. One of my neighbors woke me up early on a Saturday morning when he stumbled across a short story of mine in a magazine. It was one of those "this is sooooo cool" moments.

My family rarely asks, but I also keep them updated on what I'm doing. My grandfather, in poor health, told me that he hoped he would live to see me published. I sent him copies of every magazine and he showed them to EVERYBODY before he passed away. I gotta stop writing this -- the guy at the next table in the coffee shop just asked if I was OK.

CaroGirl said:

This is interesting.

Why are we so private about sharing our passion? What are we so afraid of? Bullies in the schoolyard?

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Fear of failure. Or the perception of failure.

Just speaking for myself.

CaroGirl said:

This is interesting.

Why are we so private about sharing our passion? What are we so afraid of? Bullies in the schoolyard?

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I don't share anything. I don't tell people that I collect beer steins, or that I collect old vinyl albums, or that I collect books on the occult, or whatever. I don't think its anyone's business. I guess I'm just a private person in general.