First kiss.

ZannaPerry · Oct 2, 2007

I am having a hard time tackling this scene. Since my two main characters are at each other's throats for most of the first act, a kiss is very unlikely to happen between them.

So, what is the best way to catch the reader's attention and knock them off their feet with an unexpected kiss? They will be just as surprised as the characters in the book. I have something cooking right now, but I'm not sure if it is the best move. This is it:

Emma (MC) has been attacked for a second time in the woods while fighting with the hero. It's actually in public too for a fall festival, so, no one actually saw who made the shot. Well, I have Emma get grazed with the bullet on the shoulder, and she knows but decides to hide the pain from the hero and get on to find who shot at her. Meanwhile, it's later that night and she's trying to make something to eat for herself and the hero because she has nothing better to do. The police won't help her, her daughter is gone with her best friend's mother, and she is stuck in an empty house with a very dark, and scary man. The hero. Well, she's all spite and fire at this moment in the story because she is at close ends because nobody will help her, and she's walking a tight rope as it was with the killer of the story. The hero comes in the scene and they begin to argue over dinner, and just when he leaves her be he sees the blood on her shirt, asks her about it, and she denies any pain. Well, he won't let that go by so he makes her sit down so he can clean it. They actually have a civil conversation, and then the kiss......................what do you think???

HourglassMemory · Oct 2, 2007

Make the guy say something funny. To relax it even more, but then put a weird silence between them.

Sunkissed27f · Oct 2, 2007

Sounds good..but remember....a first kiss between 2 people, especially 2 that have been fighting like cats and dogs, needs to have a lot of emotion coming through DURING/AFTER the kiss. I mean it can be a subtle turn of their heads at the wrong moment and they brush lips/lips on cheeks, etc. It can then be a "Oh ummm yea sorry" type where one leaves. Or one that starts off as subtle, then after a brief pause, goes in to fireworks...oh yea baby. But that can either be their truce or create a whole different conflict. What fun!!

ZannaPerry · Oct 3, 2007

The brushing of the lips is a good idea. Adding humor won't really fit my hero's personality, but I guess it could work this point in the story. Sarcasm is his only humor...

They do argue over dinner, sort of humorous, coming from the hero's POV. The MC is about ready to tackle him. Ha! Maybe she can tackle him to the ground and they kiss then. Not sure yet. Still working on it!

c.e.lawson · Oct 6, 2007

Hi SuzyB,

I'm currently writing a historical fiction with a strong romantic thread, so I find your question very interesting.

I don't know anything about your story, so these are simply questions, not challenges. How far into the story is this kiss? Have you built up any UST thus far, however subtly? It doesn't sound like it if they've been at each other's throats. If not, then why does it have to be a kiss at this point? Can it be a near kiss? A certain type of pause with their faces close? A catch of the breath? A lingering gaze. (Written without cliches, naturally.

)The reason I ask this is because it seems to be a product of movies and TV that characters go from a certain emotional situation that really is incongruous with a kiss, right into a kiss. (Or even passionate sex, LOL.) But how realistic is that?

Just curious,

c.e. (who will be embarking on her characters' first kiss scene fairly soon, so is gathering info)

ZannaPerry · Oct 6, 2007

The thing is with my romantic suspense story is that I've written the scenes already that have really stuck out in my mind, and I got those to the side and now I am working on the more challenging part of the story--filling in the gaps, the emotions, the lust, etc.

The kiss comes in a very emotional part of the story. And I sort of would like to have after the hero and heroine kiss, it doesn't and can't stop there with all the lust that eventually turns to love. It's like...after they've got a taste of each other, it keeps going, and going, and going until the scene where they make love. But that's far away from the kiss at this point.

The scene where the kiss happens is my MC (heroine) had to let her daughter go so she can keep her safe, protect her. The thing is she's never really been away from her daughter for so long, and that emotion puts a major strain on her well-being where she's about to breakdown, or get seriously pissed off at any given moment if someone says something wrong. The heroine is then forced to stay with the hero so he can protect her. She isn't happy about it, he really isn't, but he doesn't have much of a choice this deep in the story. He wants to comfort her because she is feeling so lost, and so confused with a murder case she is trying to solve that involves the hero's dead wife. They sort of turn to each other for comfort. And a kiss comes from that....they can't take it anymore...

I hope I gave a better understanding of the kiss between my characters. I'm still trying to figure some of this out.

Jersey Chick · Oct 6, 2007

This made me think of the first kiss between Sam and Diane on Cheers - first they're fighting, then she slaps him, he slaps her, and WHAM - they're smooching like mad. I don't know if that would work here, but it might be worth a try.

ZannaPerry · Oct 6, 2007

slapping each other? That would be pretty hilarious! But I might use that for another story.

Jersey Chick · Oct 6, 2007

Yep - I don't know if you ever watched the show, but for the longest time they hated each other. I can't remember what started the slap-fest - but it was a pretty memorable scene. Something similiar was used years earlier on M*A*S*H, but the characters (Hoolihan and Frank Burns) were already lovers, so it wasn't for a first kiss.

Pretty effective and can be memorable!

ZannaPerry · Oct 6, 2007

And that's how I plan to make this first kiss--memorable and unexpected.

mirrorkisses · Oct 6, 2007

Here's an idea:

Okay, they get really high...
no, I'm just kidding.

In this "civil conversation" just have the hero say something that catches her offguard so she realizes he's not just an asshole.

ZannaPerry · Oct 6, 2007

ha! that's simple. . .

AllieB · Oct 9, 2007

From what it sounds like so far, there's more tension caused by fear/uncertainty/distrust than anything else. For that reason, I'd have their interaction be less "civil" as you mention and more straight-forward rough. By that, I mean, I like the set-up, him telling her to sit down so he can look at/clean her wound. But I'd have her resist, since obviously she's in pain and also afraid of him, to an extent (I hope not too much, or the kiss will be less surprising and more unbelievable). Maybe even have him put a rough hand on her shoulder to guide her to a seat. She sits, resentful but also knowing she has to trust him. Again, I actually wouldn't make him too civil at this point.

Have him look at the wound, maybe pull her shirt away so he can look at it, get mad both at her (because she didn't tell him before) and whoever did this. She sees in him this concern for her and maybe softens a little. I think you should play up the awkward tension as well as the realization of attraction, when they look at each and maybe when he touches her bare skin (is it for the first time??), and then zing the kiss right in there. Have it build from both characters' high-strung emotions. Don't make it too *nice* - this will make it hotter, IMHO.

Good luck!

Cathy C · Oct 9, 2007

Ah! Since you brought up M*A*S*H, that reminds me of the episode that showed the first kiss between Hotlips and Hawkeye! They got caught behind enemy lines and were in the middle of a "friendly-fire" bombing raid. They took shelter in an old shack and wound up holding onto each other, screaming and praying that they'd survive. During their screaming and yelling, their mouths met and . . . well, that was all she wrote!

Another possibility, since you're managing this after battle, is to have a scene where one is saving the other's life doing CPR (or whatever version you want to make in your reality.) Mouth-to-mouth can easily turn into a kiss.

Just a few random thoughts.

ZannaPerry · Oct 9, 2007

Since I posted this a few days ago, I came up with a better idea for the kiss. I'm trying to pass around guilt, anger, and remorse to all my characters and since my MC (heroine) already has a "breakdown" later in the story, maybe I'll turn the tables and have my heroine kiss my hero when he doesn't expect it.

Yeah, they're talking, yeah they're arguing, and a kiss from the heroine would be unexpected, and the hero takes it but then he's mad about it, and tells her to stop. That builds even more tension between them because my hero likes the MC, but he denies it. He still holds a grudge against her but it's melting quickly, and a kiss would be too soon.

I don't know...I'm still working this one out.

choppersmom · Nov 1, 2007

In an older MS I've temporarily put aside, I have the heroine get caught in a burning building. She has lingering smoke-inhalation damage, which causes her to become short of breath. The hero makes her laugh a little too hard, and she starts to cough. (Ever have that happen? I have. It's idiotic. I feel so stupid.) He immediately feels godawful, and does all the things, you know, the patting of the back, the raising of the arms, the getting of the water, etc, and then when she's OK again, the locking of the lips. Then he feels even worse for "taking advantage of her," so he sort of avoids her and controls his attraction to her until later on when they just can't be prevailed upon to keep their hands to themselves for one second longer. God, I love those two! I should really dig them out again.

First kiss.

ZannaPerry

^ Just Me & a Sharpie

HourglassMemory

Sunkissed27f

ZannaPerry

^ Just Me & a Sharpie

c.e.lawson

ZannaPerry

^ Just Me & a Sharpie

Jersey Chick

Up all night to get Loki

ZannaPerry

^ Just Me & a Sharpie

Jersey Chick

Up all night to get Loki

ZannaPerry

^ Just Me & a Sharpie

mirrorkisses

ZannaPerry

^ Just Me & a Sharpie

AllieB

Cathy C

Ooo! Shiny new cover!

ZannaPerry

^ Just Me & a Sharpie

choppersmom

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