First lines

This forum has been waaaay too quiet lately, so I thought I'd throw out (yet another) question.

In Rust Hill's book on short story writing, he says, "What the beginning of a short story should do... is begin to state the theme of the story right from the very first line."

(Now, when I sit down to write a story, if I start too much deep thinking like that, my brain floods, sputters, and stalls, and I'm dead in the water.)

Uncle Jim says this in his Learn Writing thread:

So here's another way to figure out where to start your story: Put interesting characters in an interesting place, then let them do interesting things.

I suppose that applies generally to short stories as well, but it's pretty hard to stuff all that into a first line!

I also read somewhere (I can't remember right now), that with a novel you have the first few paragraphs to grab the reader, but with a short story, you have just the first sentence.

So, what do all you writers of short stories think about the importance of first lines?

I think first lines are some of the most important lines in an entire short story. Since short stories are different from novels in the length of time they have to entertain or challenge a reader, every line counts and the first lines count twice. these lines will draw the reader into your story, give them the first glimpse of your style, manner, and voice.

some of my first lines (although, I'm not saying that they're any good, but here they are nonetheless):

1. These are the end times. The ashtray of the cosmos. And Joseph catered to the will of God, although that was the last thing he wanted to do.

2. Kevin did it for the money.

3. I must’ve been nine or ten when I went into the church that day. I wanted to be an alter boy, but I missed the signup because I was sick.

4. “I like Blossom and Buttercup,” Arianna said, her voice matter-of-fact.

5. “Midge, I haven’t been able to stop eating lately.” Bob rubbed his belly and then belched to make room for another helping of mashed potatoes and gravy.

6. “Dr. Grien, are you sure this is safe?” I always asked as many questions as possible.

Some of these are from draft stories that I haven't worked on in a month or two, but i'll always make sure that the first lines really open things up.

I want the readers to say..."okay, what's next?" or to get a sense of the story or characters. Sometimes, when I pick up a story, I read the first few lines to get a feel for the style and voice. I ask myself, "am i in the mood for this," or "am i interested in this?"

The first line should help you set the tone for the tale. That doesn't mean youre expected to capture the entire theme in a single sentence.

If you read a dozen How-to books written by experts, you'll see some common denominators, but you'll also see many differences of opinion. One of those common denominators is that the first line should contain some element that serves has a hook or attention-getter. Personally, it doesn't matter if I'm reading flash, shorts or War and Peace, I'll still read the first paragraph before deciding to invest time reading. The opening line is important, but I can't agree that it's the show-stopper.

It's an easy thing to sink in the quicksand while searching for that perfect opening line. Write the story. Many times, that "perfect" first line comes to you a thousand...or 100 thousand words into the project.

It's easy to get hung up on the first line. If the requirement for any sentence in a story is to make the reader want to read the next, then there's nothing entirely special about the first sentence other than its location. Sentences that make for weak openings would likely be weak in the middle of a story. In my (admittedly limited) experience the most common flaw in an opening isn't the prose but rather that it starts too far in advance of the story.


My favorite opening line ever:

Sammy Levison was fourteen when he discovered that he could @#%$ little Jesuses.

by James Sallis from The Genre Kid.

My very best first ones come to me "out of the blue" and make for a great dramatic openers. Oddly enough, if I don't get one of those dynamic strokes of lightning, I seem to have a hard time finding an opening thought that I consider adequate.

I think that in novels, while you do have more space to hook your readers, that the first sentence of each chapter almost has to have an equally powerful hook - you have to win your readers not just once, but each time they have a new chapter to begin.

Like many, I've always been a subscriber to starting a story by placing an interesting character in an interesting situation. But this doesn't mean you don't need a good first line, especially in a short story.

The first line sets up everything, and a bad first line can stop an editor from reading the second line. A first line can't always capture the theme of the story, but it can and should lead into the theme.

This important thing is that the first line must make an editor want to read the second line. This hold for every line, of course.

Editors read until something, anything, gives them an excuse to stop reading. Don't give them that excuse.

Editors read until something, anything, gives them an excuse to stop reading. Don't give them that excuse.

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I agree, for short stories. With novels, there could be many places where it's not very exciting -- character stuff, exposition, for example -- that the editor could say, "I'll stop now."

I also agree that the first line should set the tone of the entire story. Even in novels, where you have the luxury of using the entire chapter to start the story.


Edit: I forgot I was in "Writing Short Fiction" -- so yes, first line is very important in a short story to a) set the tone; b) start the story. Putting an interesting character in an interesting place with an interesting problem/situation is a good start.

to me, as both a reader and a writer, the first line of any story [short, long, or novel], has to be a hook to grab the reader well enough so they can't wriggle loose, till they go far enough to get some idea of what the story is going to be about...

so, the first line doesn't have to set the locale or time or anything in particular, as far as i'm concerned... but it DOES have to make you HAVE TO keep on reading...

here's some examples of what i mean:

= The dog looked dead.

= Where did they all go?

= The wind roared, the rain poured, and every other tree was doing its best to uproot itself and flatten the Jag, as I skidded around the last few turns.

= Some people just don't know when to stop talking, and Harry was one of the worst.

As always, I'm so impressed by and grateful for all your insightful replies!

Back to Rust Hill's book -- he uses the Hemingway short story "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place" as an example of showing theme in the first line:

"It was late and everyone had left the cafe except an old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of the tree made against the electric light."

Hill comments: "Throughout the story there is to be a thread of imagery associating life with light and death with dark, and the old man sitting in the shadow establishes this in the very first sentence."

So, my question: Did Hemingway sit down and say to himself, Hmmm. (Swigs whiskey). I'm going to write a story and use darkness to symbolize death, and put an old man in shadow right at the start. Or, did he just write it, and realized later that he'd unconsciously used that sort of imagery to enhance his theme?

I realize that none of you can channel Hemingway (or maybe you can, I shouldn't make assumptions!). For all of you who use imagery in your stories, how much of your imagery regarding theme is unconscious vs. deliberate? And how often do you insert that imagery in the first line?

first lines

First, I have tried channelling Hemingway, but all that ever comes through is that damned parrot of his.

I can't speak for Hemingway, but I can tell you how theme and immagery in the short story works for me, and I've talked to a few other writers who seem to be on the same wavelength.

At first, there's a general idea of the story, a hint of theme, perhaps a single sharp image, usually of the protagonist. Then comes the first line.

If the first line is right, if it hooks, if it fits the story, then every line thereafter builds on this first line. I know what I want the story to do, and I know what I want the story to say, but how it does it almost always surprises me. Images and theme connect, but on the first pass it's as much or more through the subconscious than through the conscious.

Some of my best lines and imagery do come by surprise, and I don't even really think them, don't even know they're coming until after I write them.

But it's the next draft where theme and imagery really come together. I read the first draft carefully, find the theme, look for ways to bring it to the surface, tighten it, unify it with narration and dialogue and imagery. And just as important, eliminate anything and everything that conflicts with the theme.

I think Hemingway is one of the best writers to study for imagery and theme in the short story. I especially love his Nick Adams stories, and have the collection.

Big, Two-Hearted River is a wonderful Hemingway story. It's one many call plotless, but it actually has a very strong plot, and the theme runs through it just like the river in the title.

Re: first lines

The first line of my latest short:

"She checked her gears once more, making sure that she had everything she needed: ropes, chloroform, flashlight, knives, and 20 c.c. of tranquilizer."

(I hope you'll be "hooked" by this first line immediately)


The first line of my novel is:

"I've driven over two-hundred miles from Los Angeles trying to find 1935 Roselyn Drive."

(I hope to set the tone and themes of the story -- it's about journeys, physically, mentally and emotionally. And obsession The ending also mirrors this.)

I have not decided on the first line of my WIP yet. Currently it starts with:

"The civet cat did not know it was going to die."

(It actually sets up a foreshadow about what is coming in Chapter 2)

Re: first lines

I don't write a lot of fiction but still like the first line of a short I wrote 25-some years ago:

"I was 15 years old to the day when I learned the real story of how Moe Jensen lost his fingers."

Re: first lines

So, my question: Did Hemingway sit down and say to himself, Hmmm. (Swigs whiskey). I'm going to write a story and use darkness to symbolize death, and put an old man in shadow right at the start. Or, did he just write it, and realized later that he'd unconsciously used that sort of imagery to enhance his theme?

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I'd say most great writers just write it. The themes, symbolisms, etc. just come naturally, through their subconscious psych.

theme

I do think most good writers just write the story and the bare bones of theme and symbolism comes through from the subconscious, but I know most great writers also work hard on subsequent drafts to bring out theme, and to define and unify symbolism.

The bare bones of these things are usually there after the first draft, but it's the extremely rare writer who doesn't need to go through do a lot of editing and rewriting and revision, adding and subtracting, to bring everything together.

Hemingway certainly worked hard through many drafts, almost forty drafts of some of his fiction, to make everything look easy and instionctive, and to bring out theme and symbolism.

revisions

As a writer, I can say that my best work is when I just write. Then, I put the work down for a few days. Then, when I pick it up again it is to polish it.

I feel that a writer should do whatever comes naturally. For some, flashcard character creation works. For others, caffeine and lots of sugar.

I also feel that a lot of that depends upon the confidence of the writer. It is extraordinarily easy to get caught up in the fact that there are so many writers out there. When a writer second-guesses their work, I feel that insecurity may reflect in too many revisions.

Good discussion. I miss my writing workshop days.

Sincerely,

Monica Valentinelli
Arts and Entertainment Editor
w.flamesrising.com
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