How quickly can characters fall in love and still be realistic?

JuliePgh · Sep 10, 2007

I've read many books where the two main characters have a love/hate relationship, or they have feelings for one another and deny those feelings for whatever reason through most of the book. My two main characters fit into the latter group, and never truly come together until the end, yet a recent comment from an editor said my main characters fell in love too quickly to be believable. I thought I had developed chemistry and a sense of sexual desire, but nothing I'd consider "love" since the female wouldn't "permit" herself to become involved. I'm not sure how to interpret the editor's remarks. I recognize hers is ultimately one person's opinion, and none of my test readers have made a similar remark, but it's still gnawing at me. Anyone here been in a similar situation? Any suggestion how I can view my work with objective eyes at this point?

Maryn · Sep 10, 2007

There are people who are not total dopes who claim to have fallen in love in a single evening. They "clicked" in every way possible. Whether you and I define that as love rather than compatibility doesn't matter--those individuals might feel they're in love.

However, if you've got your characters all aroused, with desire and chemistry but no further connection, it could indeed seem too fast. (Sounds like a swell basis for a one-night stand, though!) If you need there to be genuine love, you need to show them connecting across the board.

Maryn, who's never mastered stepping outside her own work

lfraser · Sep 10, 2007

That's the funny thing about the human heart. It's unpredictable.

True story -- I met my partner 35 years ago at a pub. I was instantly drawn to him, even though I was already in a relationship that lasted for another three years. We saw each other from time to time at parties or at the pub, and I always secretly wished we could be together, but he was one of the cool people and I was not. When he moved away (for good, I thought) I had this feeling that I had lost something important, even though common sense told me that there had never been a chance of anything but a rather distant friendship and now even that was gone. He reappeared on the scene a couple of years later, found me footloose and fancy-free, and admitted that he had always been drawn to me but never acted on it because I was in what seemed like a solid relationship.

Love at first sight? You bet. You bet.

Karen Junker · Sep 10, 2007

Didn't the characters in The DaVinci Code get together in something like two days?

Red Robin · Sep 10, 2007

Aasss yoouuuu wiiisshhhh

You can do it while rolling down a hill.

The difficulty for the writer is conveying the chemistry between the characters... if the characters even want to fall in love. Fortunately for me, that kind of love doesn't come up in the novel I'm working on now. I imagine it can't be easy.

javili · Sep 10, 2007

Doesn't take that much. Check out "Four Weddings And A Funeral" the guy turns around, sees a girl, she sees him, they're both knocked out.

ZannaPerry · Sep 10, 2007

I have my characters completely hate each other in the beginning of the book to the point it could be impossible for either to find any love in the other. I find that a challenge, and I'm having fun putting it all together.
And as a reader of plenty of romances, having the characters do a one night-stand is kind of a sham to me. Unless you write them having a one night-stand, and never thought they'd see each other until they are paired for a undercover mission. I don't know....but chemistry, and too much too fast is tricky. Since you already submitted this piece, I would go back and add more conflict between their first kiss, and from the time they met. Just add traits where it could prove impossible for them to fall in love and then shock the reader when they have that first time.
Not sure what you're romance story is about so I am sort of flying blind here, but I hope I helped.

The_Grand_Duchess · Sep 10, 2007

Yes, people can fall in love quickly. And they can fall out of love with the same speed. The heart is a fickle thing.

Azraelsbane · Sep 10, 2007

It really depends. My female MC fell in love with both her boys practically at first sight, but it took a heck of a lot longer to get past her insecurities and actually let the emotions flow. Seventeen years for one... Practically an eternity for the other (I'm dealing with immortals). The important thing is to stay true to your character.

Deirdre · Sep 10, 2007

Maryn said:
There are people who are not total dopes who claim to have fallen in love in a single evening. They "clicked" in every way possible. Whether you and I define that as love rather than compatibility doesn't matter--those individuals might feel they're in love.

Yep, been there, done that. I was casually dating another guy, went home and asked him if he were really interested. He said no.

A year and a half later, I married my husband.

clara bow · Sep 10, 2007

Is it possible that there aren't enough conflicts or obstacles for the couple to overcome before they utter "I love you"? Or the ones that are there are too easily resolved...? Just a thought.

JLCwrites · Sep 10, 2007

Your editor might be needing more character development. It may be that time isn't the issue, but relationship maturity.

Its hard to say for sure unless I have read your story.

Do you feel that they fell in love at the right time?

KTC · Sep 11, 2007

For me, it was instant. And since we are still together 24 years later, it's totally believable.

Manat · Sep 11, 2007

JuliePgh said:
or they have feelings for one another and deny those feelings for whatever reason through most of the book.

an editor said my main characters fell in love too quickly to be believable. I thought I had developed chemistry and a sense of sexual desire, but nothing I'd consider "love" since the female wouldn't "permit" herself to become involved. I'm not sure how to interpret the editor's remarks. Any suggestion how I can view my work with objective eyes at this point]

You might want to go back and make sure you've clearly shown the struggle "to deny their feelings" there's an initial attraction, what's your heroine thinking and why? What's she thinking as the attraction builds and why is it building? Is she just noticing looks at first, and then reminding herself why she doesn't like/can't have him? Maybe then she starts to appreciate his sense of humor, or see's he's great with kids etc. After a bit she's thinking more about the positives than the negatives, eventually reaching a tipping point where she can't deny it anymore. Something like that anyway. In the end your character presumably does permit herself to get involved, you want to make sure you were showing what was building all along and why. It could be as simple as going back over major encounters and seeing if you can add some internal thoughts that illustrate this.

Of course if you already included these things and the only feedback that suggests otherwise if from the editor, well it's just one persons opinion and it only really matters if she's thinking of buying your book.

scarletpeaches · Sep 11, 2007

Maryn said:
There are people who are not total dopes who claim to have fallen in love in a single evening. They "clicked" in every way possible. Whether you and I define that as love rather than compatibility doesn't matter--those individuals might feel they're in love.

However, if you've got your characters all aroused, with desire and chemistry but no further connection, it could indeed seem too fast. (Sounds like a swell basis for a one-night stand, though!) If you need there to be genuine love, you need to show them connecting across the board.

Maryn, who's never mastered stepping outside her own work

Bolding mine.

That's a really good way of putting it, and helps clear up some confusion I've had about various real-life situations as well as fictional ones!

Thinking that someone (who obviously puts on their best show when trying to make a good first impression) is a potential partner can be different from seeing a superficial compatibility based upon what they choose to tell you.

Hmm. Lots to think about in your post, Maryn.

scarletpeaches, impressed.

Shadow_Ferret · Sep 11, 2007

I fall in love several times a day.

L.Jones · Sep 11, 2007

Stats show people who marry after short term don't divorce any more often than those who wait a good long while. I met my hubby on Jan 6, married on April 28 of same year - would have married sooner but my friends told me I owed my mom a wedding, so we took a few extra weeks to throw one together.
It's lasted 23 years so far, it happens. (and ps not only did we know right off, our office mates (we worked in offices that shared a coffee service counter) each told us -"we've met the person you are going to marry" before we ever laid eyes on each other. It's not necc. a bad thing if your reader thinks this when the character enters the scene.

That said, the circumstances of these things are what makes it work, makes it believable. Character development, as Turkey Lurkey pointed out. You put them in the proper context, you show them working toward the conclusion that this is a real relationship (make us believe these folks could work it out - great example - from the very first time that Sally orders like a lunatic in When Harry Met Sally, Harry was fascinated instead of irritated by it - that created a believable basis for them to form a friendships and more) Check to make sure you've shaded the characters so that they are connected on more levels than just "love" or 'chemistry'.

just a thought
annie jones

JuliePgh · Sep 11, 2007

Mine is a situation where the male sees certain qualities in the female, admiring them and her, but struggling with their status (opposing sides in a war). She on the other hand hates him at first, but sees something in him that she can't define but does affect her. Neither says "I love you" or kisses until MUCH later in the book. For her, there's a building of attraction and denial. He, on the other hand doesn't deny his feelings for her for long, but becomes increasingly persistent in his pursuit of her. Ultimately, they part ways, though somewhat unwillingly. And circumstances bring them together later on, where there is renewed awkwardness, politics and a whole host of problems which truly keep them emotionally apart even when they're physically together.

That's why I don't understand how the editor says they fall in love too quickly.

Perks · Sep 11, 2007

How quickly can characters fall in love and still be realistic?

Seven and one half hours.

NeuroFizz · Sep 11, 2007

First of all, your editor isn't making a comment on love. She/he is making a comment on how you have portrayed that love in your story (and how it best serves the story you have written). So, while all of the sincere comments here about personal experiences with immediate love convince me that love can be as sudden as a glance, the editor is saying to you that you have pushed it too fast in your story. Perhaps you laid out the emotion too quickly, perhaps the sexual tension develops in an abrupt manner. Perhaps, for dramatic effect, the editor just wants you to dole it out on a longer string. Maybe it would help if one or both of the characters had some initial doubts, or maybe even someone else in their lives to create a whole new layer of tension to the newfound romantic sensations. Maybe some emotional baggage on the part of one or both of the characters could put the brakes on the romantic tension (not slam it into a four-wheel skid, but just that chattering one feels with a light tough to anit-lock brakes).

There is one sure-fire way to find out exactly what your editor is suggesting. Ask her/him. Your relationship with your editor should be a non-rectifying give-and-take. Pick her/his brain.

scarletpeaches · Sep 11, 2007

Perks said:
Seven and one half hours.

Personal experience?

Writer14 · Sep 11, 2007

Just look at Romeo & Juliet. That took like....4seconds...

scarletpeaches · Sep 11, 2007

Romeo was a twat. He used Juliet as a rebound fling and they both topped themselves in the end. That's not love, that's stupidity.

Writer14 · Sep 11, 2007

lmao. Shhh I'm just going by the fact that they call it 'love' xD

PeeDee · Sep 11, 2007

scarletpeaches said:
Romeo was a twat. He used Juliet as a rebound fling and they both topped themselves in the end. That's not love, that's stupidity.

That's Grunge. Romeo and Juliet were clearly just a metaphor for Kurt Cobaine and Courtney Love, before Kurt was murdered in a conspiracy. Just like Tupac.

(Hi, my name is Pete, and I'll be randomly going on tangents for no reason today.)

In real life, it can be instantaneous. In books, it can be too. However, if them falling in love is a big part of the story, it DOES need to develop properly and not come outta the blue.

Sexual tension doesn't always work, either. Go into any office building in the world and try to get through the thick wall of sexual tension that is the sole purpose of office environments. That said, if two people from that environment fell in love, you might still go "What? Oh. That was quick."

Sexual tension is good for leading up to...sex. Love is weirder.

(My wife and I knew each other for a year before we even were more than friends. She thought I was creepy...and gay. Sigh. True story. we never really dated, we just fell into each other's orbits, we clicked, we got engaged a few years later. Sometimes, love is the most boring thing imaginable. Like I said: weirder.)

How quickly can characters fall in love and still be realistic?

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