Argh - Showing and Telling in First Person - how?

Star · Jul 12, 2007

Dear Fellow Scribes,

As some of you may know, I received an offer from a publisher. My soon-to-be editor has questions about my character's background. Let me give you some examples of the editor's questions:

How does your character feel about being a foster child for so long?

Does she resent her parents?

What makes her so determined to succeed?

Now, since I use a conversational voice in the first person, I'm tempted to just flat out explain things. For example: "I have no respect for my parents. They dumped me. Forget them. I'm all about trying to get me together. They can rot." - Okay, not my best work, but do you see my point? Is it okay to rehash it like this, or MUST I show scene and flashbacks?

Don't get me wrong. I know I have the power to choose since it's my work. But I don't know what an editor may consider lazy or glossing over, etc. Any advice?

Storm Dream · Jul 12, 2007

Star said:
Dear Fellow Scribes,

As some of you may know, I received an offer from a publisher. My soon-to-be editor has questions about my character's background. Let me give you some examples of the editor's questions:

How does your character feel about being a foster child for so long?

Does she resent her parents?

What makes her so determined to succeed?

Now, since I use a conversational voice in the first person, I'm tempted to just flat out explain things. For example: "I have no respect for my parents. They dumped me. Forget them. I'm all about trying to get me together. They can rot." - Okay, not my best work, but do you see my point? Is it okay to rehash it like this, or MUST I show scene and flashbacks?

Don't get me wrong. I know I have the power to choose since it's my work. But I don't know what an editor may consider lazy or glossing over, etc. Any advice?

Well, if it's conversational, that might work. I would hazard a guess that it depends on how much it influences her. If it's not a big deal, just part of the backstory, then yeah, go for that. I use flashbacks verrrrry sparingly, so unless there's a pivotal scene that directly relates to what's going on in the book, you don't need it in there.

Maybe your character is having a conversation with someone and the subject of her parents comes up?

It's hard to say -- you could always ask the editor for clarification, though.

Star · Jul 12, 2007

Thanks Storm Dream,

Guess I have to wait until the contract is signed.

Jamesaritchie · Jul 12, 2007

Star said:
Dear Fellow Scribes,

As some of you may know, I received an offer from a publisher. My soon-to-be editor has questions about my character's background. Let me give you some examples of the editor's questions:

How does your character feel about being a foster child for so long?

Does she resent her parents?

What makes her so determined to succeed?

Now, since I use a conversational voice in the first person, I'm tempted to just flat out explain things. For example: "I have no respect for my parents. They dumped me. Forget them. I'm all about trying to get me together. They can rot." - Okay, not my best work, but do you see my point? Is it okay to rehash it like this, or MUST I show scene and flashbacks?

Don't get me wrong. I know I have the power to choose since it's my work. But I don't know what an editor may consider lazy or glossing over, etc. Any advice?

You show and tell in first person exactly the way you do in third person, and it's every bit as important to show in first person as in third person.

You show where show is important, yu tell where show isn't important, and getting the balance right is what it's all about. But it's your story, and you have to decide which goes where.

Star · Jul 12, 2007

Thanks James!

Problem is, I don't think my MC's feelings regarding foster care is an intergral part. They do. They sign the check. Alas.

Willowmound · Jul 12, 2007

Do you know any foster children?

javili · Jul 12, 2007

They also sign the contract. Does it say they can make you change things around to the way they want them?

Are you willing to fight for the idea that work with your name on it should be yours, not an editor's words and ideas?

Danger Jane · Jul 12, 2007

Maybe the MC's feelings about being a foster child aren't integral to the plot, but I bet being a foster child has shaped her, and her feelings do belong in there somewhere.

I show and tell what is necessary judging by the MC's thoughts. If something is important to the MC, if the thought occurs to them, it'll read naturally. If you're forcing her to think a thought, it won't feel natural.

rwam · Jul 13, 2007

I think if I were trying to show, for example, the MCs resentment, I'd talk about some of the things his foster parents did (without saying these are the reasons the MC resents them). Also, I'd use a little more sarcasm when the MC is musing about his foster parents.

Jamesaritchie · Jul 13, 2007

Contract

javili said:
They also sign the contract. Does it say they can make you change things around to the way they want them?

All contracts say this, in one way or another. You can always refuse to let them publish the work, but if you want a publisher, they have a say about the contents. Most editors work closely with writers, but in the end, it's the publisher's money at risk, and they never forget it.

BarbJ · Jul 13, 2007

Star - In my WIP, I have to do an infodump - only one paragraph, but necessary. I have the first-person MC give a sarcastic response to a rather snoopy question.

Snoopy questions are great to reveal info and character in both the asker and the askee, and it certainly is a common trait these-a-days. With first person I feel it's better, if one must dump, to show reaction while doing it. Makes the dumping more tolerable.

Star · Jul 13, 2007

Barb, that's an EXCELLENT idea. Why didn't I think of that?
*Hitting forehead* - Thank you so much!

Argh - Showing and Telling in First Person - how?

Star

So cool I am

Storm Dream

Into the blue memory

Star

So cool I am

Jamesaritchie

Star

So cool I am

Willowmound

Lightly salted

javili

Danger Jane

rwam

Jamesaritchie

BarbJ

Star

So cool I am