My POV in my WIP is DOA

MelodyO · May 29, 2007

How close is close enough while using a close third person POV in a novel?

In my first novel, I was so close I was practically sitting in my MC's lap, blowing in his ear. Every sentence came right out of his thoughts, and that was easy and lovely.

In my WIP, however, I'm struggling. My two MCs are angels stuck on earth, and they don't have a darn clue as to what things are called, what they're for, etc. If I use their thoughts, I'll have to describe everything instead of naming it, and OMG that gets excruciating in a big fat hurry.

So, do you think I should step back and have a narrator-style of writing, where I can comment on what's happening to them and what they're thinking and why? Does that grate on you as a reader? Does any of this even make sense? ::runs in panicked circles::

Siddow · May 29, 2007

You could always make them more knowledgable. They're angels, they had to come from heaven, right? And don't angels look down upon the world? Couldn't they have picked some things up?

I would be highly irritated by a novel where the narrator didn't know anything, but I'd be charmed by a narrator who was confused about some things.

MelodyO · May 29, 2007

Siddow said:
You could always make them more knowledgable. They're angels, they had to come from heaven, right? And don't angels look down upon the world? Couldn't they have picked some things up?

I would be highly irritated by a novel where the narrator didn't know anything, but I'd be charmed by a narrator who was confused about some things.

Thank you, Siddow. I'm walking a fine line, I think.

PS Your bunny calmed me way down. :0)

Gillhoughly · May 29, 2007

I prefer hip angels.

Demons, too.

Here you get both.

Good luck!

MelodyO · May 29, 2007

Gillhoughly said:
I prefer hip angels.

Demons, too.

Here you get both.

Good luck!

My demons are hip and my angels are earnest...at least until they discover daiquiris and foreplay. :tongue

kristie911 · May 29, 2007

As a reader, I would be throughly annoyed with a constant stream of description for simple things. By the second chapter I'd be screaming, "It's a toaster, damn it! Let's move on!"

I'd definitely make your narrators more knowledgable, if for on other reason than to skip all the describing. Like Siddow said, just have them slightly confused by some things, it's far more charming than outright stupidity about everything.

Good luck!

JoNightshade · May 29, 2007

I agree with the confusion-but-not-total-ignorance. What might be really cute is if they refer to things in very antiquarian terms, like they are from Biblical times. Or perhaps they mix words up... Or maybe they know TOO much and they are constantly using words from different languages to describe things. Like "computadora" or "microondas." (Please don't laugh if I just got both of those wrong.)

Another thing you might do is introduce a human character that supplies some of the answers so we're not stuck, as kristie911 said, screaming "It's a toaster!"

MelodyO · May 29, 2007

Thank you, ladies! Exactly what I wanted to know. Now, if I can just start writing again. But that a whole 'nother post.

Soccer Mom · May 29, 2007

Write! Write! :poke:

I'll poke you if you don't.

:poke:

Red Robin · May 29, 2007

My first instinct is to say that your angels should know about everything, but as if they have only read it in a book. This could provide a lot of comedy... if that's what you want. For instance, instead of picking up and dialling a phone, your angels could just yell the persons name they wished to speak to at the phone, and wonder why it doesn't work. Y'know, fish out of water stuff.

My POV in my WIP is DOA

MelodyO

Waiting for love on the web

Siddow

I'm super! Thanks for asking

MelodyO

Waiting for love on the web

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

MelodyO

Waiting for love on the web

kristie911

Happy to be here

JoNightshade

has finally arrived

MelodyO

Waiting for love on the web

Soccer Mom

Crypto-fascist

Red Robin

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