As you may have already noticed, I have not been on in awhile. I have a lot going on in my life right now, with the new job and still being a full time student(going for that networking degree). Full time job + full time school = very little free time. Couple that with the fact that I'm also working on my novel. But I do get my new notebook pc in about 3 weeks. I'll be on a bit more then, and I'll be on my personal website a lot too. Love You All. ((HUGS)).
Hiatus
- Thread starter Akai D'amour O'Keefe
- Start date
I agree LC. It reads as a little bit prosy. I see a weak metaphor with the writer and life as a roadblock to the love that, incidentally, will lead to a newer life. The meter wavers in places and I find little by way of alliteration.
LOL
Joking, Akai. We'll be here when you get back.
LOL
Joking, Akai. We'll be here when you get back.
davids
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It is quite obvious that neither you nor louis have even the faintest idea what should make a good work of poetry-when Akai returns I hope that he ignores your stumblingatory comments and listens to a real poet such as Mr. Jerome-or one of the other drunks-HIC!
Hey hang on, me crabapple sweet cheeks!
Think about Switch..lol
J
PS: I always remove my stuff as not clutter forums not out voice others!
And besides, am shy in real life ... you'd be flat out getting a word out of me, actually ... even on a Rack!
Think about Switch..lol
J
PS: I always remove my stuff as not clutter forums not out voice others!
And besides, am shy in real life ... you'd be flat out getting a word out of me, actually ... even on a Rack!
davids
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OH YEAH, and jus whooo are yoooo callink sober, fish breff,
Just wrote a marginally alkeehol constructed nasty pushy crit-Christ that felt good-HIC. Lobsters aint fish-goofus tremendous!!!!
See, tetrameter except for the last line. I'd suggest adding more hugs.
davids
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Whatever the hell you just said louis-BTHOOM and lemon drops and candle wax dripped on yer pecker!!!! I'd make ya cough up words like a mule with crawdaddys in its long yeller neck thing!!!!
davids
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Stop it Me. Dawg yer killin' me for Christ sake!!!! It is hard enough as it is at my age not to piss my pantaloonys and you aint helpin' none-now cut it the hell out-that by the way is one of your best crits I must say-at least one that is making me look for another drink!
LOL ... be the day U's get a short memory, CA
as for me pecker ...yes please!
*touches himself while arching back, licking lips and thinking ... fish breff*
as for me pecker ...yes please!
*touches himself while arching back, licking lips and thinking ... fish breff*
davids
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I think the thing I luv about you most Louis is that you are such a sick bastard!!!!
davids
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Ah-the joy of discovery continues-strewth-shit I have not heard that in a very long time-cor blimey
ditto
*smile*
but I'm not that old, nor old to this genre? Me muse simply take'th over and I simply surrender my mind to it's flying flux.
*smile*
but I'm not that old, nor old to this genre? Me muse simply take'th over and I simply surrender my mind to it's flying flux.
Nahhh, just built like a brick shithouse actually ... but not like Python's biggusdickus neither
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