It's a good thing my MIL is leaving tomorrow.

writerterri · May 2, 2007

She is getting on my cotton pickin' nerves.

She's baking cookies for the kids and I told her not to wash the cookie sheets. She's washing the cookie sheets! Then when I busted her she asked me why I don't wash them. Duh! You ruin the surface of these type and everything sticks. Now she's complaining that the cookies are sticking! And she has a comment about everything I have done and said today.

Get OUT!

Haggis · May 2, 2007

Want me to see if I can get Carmine from Jay's Comedy Cabaret to...uh...take care of her?

writerterri · May 2, 2007

Haggis said:
Want me to see if I can get Carmine from Jay's Comedy Cabaret to...uh...take care of her?

No, just meet me in the mayo isle at 3:30. That'll take care of me.

robeiae · May 2, 2007

You don't wash your sheets? That's just gross. I don't care what kind of patterns they have.

writerterri · May 2, 2007

robeiae said:
You don't wash your sheets? That's just gross. I don't care what kind of patterns they have.

Butter patterns. Wanna a cookie? I have a nice cookie for you.

Writer2011 · May 2, 2007

Sheesh... sounds like she's rough.. You don't wash cookie sheets...duh

Sorry it's been, well, "interesting" to say the least...

clockwork · May 2, 2007

Mother I'd Like to...

...come on, don't leave me in suspense here.

(Seriously, what's a MIL?)

ETA - Nevermind. I got it.

Rolling Thunder · May 2, 2007

Ask her to help you make a pie. Include her as an ingredient. Problem solved.

SpookyWriter · May 2, 2007

robeiae said:
You don't wash your sheets? That's just gross. I don't care what kind of patterns they have.

ewwww....sticky stuff on the patterns.

CatSlave · May 2, 2007

Put the dirty dinner dishes on the floor, let the dog lick them clean, then pick them up and put them back in the cabinet. When she freaks out, pretend like you always clean dishes this way. Plus it saves on buying dog food.

She'll leave.

stormie · May 2, 2007

CatSlave said:
Put the dirty dinner dishes on the floor, let the dog lick them clean, then pick them up and put them back in the cabinet. When she freaks out, pretend like you always clean dishes this way. Plus it saves on buying dog food.

She'll leave.

Oh, good one!

writerterri · May 2, 2007

aspiringwriter said:
Sheesh... sounds like she's rough.. You don't wash cookie sheets...duh

Sorry it's been, well, "interesting" to say the least...

She scrubbed them three times.

writerterri · May 2, 2007

CatSlave said:
Put the dirty dinner dishes on the floor, let the dog lick them clean, then pick them up and put them back in the cabinet. When she freaks out, pretend like you always clean dishes this way. Plus it saves on buying dog food.

She'll leave.

That would send her to an early grave. heh. *grin*

writerterri · May 2, 2007

I got her back. I didn't feel good so I went to bed for a while and my hubby will cook if I don't feel well but she hates it when he does "my" job. He called me to dinner and she wouldn't even look at me. I asked her to pass things to me in a very sweet voice.

Now Im going to eat one of her cookies and smack my lips and say mmmm really loud.

akiwiguy · May 2, 2007

My mother in law is quite a sweety really. But I remember once she was staying and I'd just won a couple of bottles of a really nice Semillon Chardonnay. Anyway, the effect of this wine was for some reason to throw my wife and I into a frenzy of unusual passion, of the quite experimental type. It might have been that we'd had it pretty boring for some time up till then or something, I can't remember, but anyway.

But the next morning at breakfast my MIL says (she is really naive, I can't even start to understand how she conceived children) "What on earth was all that racket up there last night?"

Ewwww... it just made me feel really weird to picture her down there listening to us.. you know? Sheeesh, it just took me ages to get over it, kind of disturbing. I mean, what was she doing... was she perched on things trying to get her ear to the ceiling or what. Yyyyyick.

Sorry, meaningless MIL story most likely, but I'm probably trying to exorcise the demons or something. Shhheeesh, eww... God. Still feel strange.

thethinker42 · May 2, 2007

clock_work9 said:
Mother I'd Like to...

...come on, don't leave me in suspense here.

(Seriously, what's a MIL?)

ETA - Nevermind. I got it.

The fact that you didn't IMMEDIATELY know what a MIL is, and why someone would be glad a MIL is leaving tomorrow, indicates you are sorely lacking. Is your life not complete without in-laws? What ever do you do without them? How can you ever identify your personal shortcomings without a MIL to itemize them for you?

*pathetic whimper* And can I come over and hide at your place next time my MIL/FIL/SIL are in town? Please? Please?

SpookyWriter · May 2, 2007

thethinker42 said:
The fact that you didn't IMMEDIATELY know what a MIL is, and why someone would be glad a MIL is leaving tomorrow, indicates you are sorely lacking. Is your life not complete without in-laws? What ever do you do without them? How can you ever identify your personal shortcomings without a MIL to itemize them for you?

*pathetic whimper* And can I come over and hide at your place next time my MIL/FIL/SIL are in town? Please? Please?

Upon divorce, rich MIL buys expensive Scottsdale lawyer and I spent the next eight years wearing a diaper while gladly paying my ex-wife $20,000 + a year.

Yep...

thethinker42 · May 2, 2007

akiwiguy said:
Ewwww... it just made me feel really weird to picture her down there listening to us.. you know? Sheeesh, it just took me ages to get over it, kind of disturbing. I mean, what was she doing... was she perched on things trying to get her ear to the ceiling or what. Yyyyyick.

Where your MIL is totally naive, mine is the exact opposite, and is in fact almost as crude as I am. An actual conversation that took place during my husband's last deployment (when I was still on speaking terms with my MIL):

(I was staying the night, so my MIL was kicking my youngest BIL, then 16, out of his bedroom so I could sleep there. She was putting sheets on the bed, and he was gathering his video game stuff to go into the other room).

BIL: I sleep naked in that bed.
Me: I've had sex with your brother in that bed.
BIL: So have I.

Most MIL's would have been disgusted and offended, mine rolled her eyes and laughed her ass off. Never thought there existed a mother-in-law in front of whom you could have such a conversation WITH one of her sons and ABOUT one of her sons.

A few months later, I was going to go to Guam to visit my husband midway through his deployment. I was rather surprised that my boss gave me the time off.

My FIL said, and I quote: "He probably wants you to go get laid so you stop being such a bitch."

*sigh* Almost makes me miss having a good relationship with them like I did then. Ah well, they're evil. *shrug*

thethinker42 · May 2, 2007

SpookyWriter said:
Upon divorce, rich MIL buys expensive Scottsdale lawyer and I spent the next eight years wearing a diaper while gladly paying my ex-wife $20,000 + a year.

Yep...

Guess it's a good thing my in-laws are poor...(not that I have any intentions of divorcing my husband...but the only thing I can think of worse than evil in-laws is RICH evil in-laws...)

writerterri · May 2, 2007

akiwiguy said:
My mother in law is quite a sweety really. But I remember once she was staying and I'd just won a couple of bottles of a really nice Semillon Chardonnay. Anyway, the effect of this wine was for some reason to throw my wife and I into a frenzy of unusual passion, of the quite experimental type. It might have been that we'd had it pretty boring for some time up till then or something, I can't remember, but anyway.

But the next morning at breakfast my MIL says (she is really naive, I can't even start to understand how she conceived children) "What on earth was all that racket up there last night?"

Ewwww... it just made me feel really weird to picture her down there listening to us.. you know? Sheeesh, it just took me ages to get over it, kind of disturbing. I mean, what was she doing... was she perched on things trying to get her ear to the ceiling or what. Yyyyyick.

Sorry, meaningless MIL story most likely, but I'm probably trying to exorcise the demons or something. Shhheeesh, eww... God. Still feel strange.

~giggle~

My husband doesn't care who's in the house. I hate it when he makes it quite obvious...shuts door and locks it. I say, eww your mom's here. You know I can't be quiet. There's something about sneaking that makes it more exciting for him. I dunno. He's a freak.

SpookyWriter · May 2, 2007

thethinker42 said:
Guess it's a good thing my in-laws are poor...(not that I have any intentions of divorcing my husband...but the only thing I can think of worse than evil in-laws is RICH evil in-laws...)

What really sucks is that when she dies, my ex-wife will inherit a shit load of money to use for new attorneys.

I need to find a rich sugar-mommie.

thethinker42 · May 2, 2007

SpookyWriter said:
What really sucks is that when she dies, my ex-wife will inherit a shit load of money to use for new attorneys. I need to find a rich sugar-mommie.

That's LAME.

You need to hurt yourself in a fast food restaurant, sue them, and become independently wealthy off of your own stupidy.

SpookyWriter · May 2, 2007

thethinker42 said:
That's LAME.

You need to hurt yourself in a fast food restaurant, sue them, and become independently wealthy off of your own stupidy.

Better yet, I can go into a fertility clinic and just yank my wanky off while trying to fill the cup.

The upside is I don't use it anyway and I'll be a millionaire because they weren't keeping a proper eye out for my safety.

writerterri · May 2, 2007

Yea, that pretty much killed my thread, dork. :tongue

SpookyWriter · May 2, 2007

writerterri said:
Yea, that pretty much killed my thread, dork.

Not so, just send your MIL along to help me hold on to my cookies while I do (paid) business.

It's a good thing my MIL is leaving tomorrow.

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Mah tale iz draggin.

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