More question on back story

In my finished (yippee) novel, the MC's father comes back into her life. She's never known him and doesn't really know anything about him. She's a psychic and so is her father. He works with the police to help solve crimes. My MC has started having visions seeing her mother being killed, so her mother calls in her father to come and help. Anyway, I have two scenes that I'm wondering about. I don't know if these scenes would be back story or needed or maybe if it's an info dump.

In the first scene, the MC and her mother are having a conversation. The mother is telling the MC about her father and allowing her to ask questions. So, the MC is asking the questions and answering them. She finds out about her father and what he does from her mom's POV. The second scene is with her father, and she's asking him questions. He's telling her about himself and answering her questions.

I think the information needs to be there. Is a conversation the way to go? Or is that telling? Should I just cut it out all together and let her find it out over the course of the book? I mean, I think, really, that a 14-year-old who is meeting her father for the first time is going to have questions and want answers. I think it fits, but do I necessarily have to have it as a scene.

The way the post reads, it seems like the first scene in the whole novel is the conversation with her mother, but it's not. That scene is in chapter 4, I think. The scene with her father is in chapter 6.

Linda Adams said:

It sounds like they're a couple of talking heads discussing backstory so you can get it on the page. Just from the description you gave, it does sound like an info dump by any other name, and moreover, it does ruin the suspense, conflict, and tension you can play out over the course of the book.

So ... think about the one thing the reader needs to know to understand the story at that point and make the character suffer through conflict as that information is given.



If she hasn't seen her father for 14 years, she's going to have a very strong emotional reaction. She's probably going to be very angry at him. I was just watching Princess Diaries last night, and in one of the scenes, Mia is told her father was a prince. She gets angry at her mother for lying to her about her father and her grandmother for ignoring her. Your character is, at the very least, going to be angry about why the father stayed away from her the whole time, and may even think that somehow, there was something wrong with her that caused it. Even if she dreamed of seeing him all her life, she's still going to have a reaction (especially if she dreamed of it, because she will have built him larger than life, and the real thing will be disappointing).

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The way I have it written, the mother told the father to stay away, unless he gives up his work with the police. He isn't willing to do that, so he stays away. Gracie, the MC, is really angry with her mother, more so than her father. Her mother has never accepted the fact that her daughter is a psychic, and for years, she pretended Gracie didn't have the talent. So, the father rides in like a hero. He knows Gracie has the talent and is there to teach her how to develop it. He accepts her more than the mother ever did, or so Gracie thinks. So, the anger is more directed at her mother. However, she does feel anger at her father, and she hides it, from herself and from others, until he gives her a command like any father would. She blows up at him, then. I don't know if that works or not.

I've just gone through and cut about two pages of dialogue. I saved it in another file, because I might be able to sprinkle it in later. I've already been able to do some about that. In the scene with her mom, they argue, and the mom won't tell her anything unless Gracie talks. Gracie won't, because she's mad at her mom, so the scene ends without her really finding out much. In the scene with her father, Gracie's trying to find out why her dad stayed away and hide her anger at him for staying away. So, she finds out a little bit about why he stayed away, he apologizes, she says she'll try to forgive him, but she doesn't really find out a lot about his abilities. I think it works. I'm going to read it aloud tonight to my husband to see what he thinks.

Now, I've cut about four pages. I probably won't cut a lot more of the dialogue. Those were the only places I really worried about info dumping. I think it reads much better, is much tighter and adds a little suspense. The reader is going to find everything out when Gracie does.