screenplay queries - how much is too much?

I'm batting around ideas for the query letter. The main character's identity is not revealed until near the end. Should I keep his name out of the query, or should I reveal it? My fear is that I'll ruin one of the major twists of the storyline. In my query for the novel, I came right out and said who it was. I still want to hold it back. But I understand what I need overrides what I want. Can I, in the query, have a clearly defined main character without saying who he is?

Also, this is based on a novel I wrote. I haven't found representation for it yet. Should I simply say something like, "...based off my novel," or should I just leave that out?

Thanks,
Tom

I refer to him as John Doe for action and dialogue, but no one calls him by name until lead-in for the last big action sequence.

Thanks for the replies. I'll get to work on it.

Tom

Just to clarify, the main character, a mysterous hitman, is refered to as John Doe for dialogue and action purposes. No one speaks his name until the final action scene. But there is a second twist to his identity - even when it is revealed, he turns out to be quite different than what everyone has come to believe he is. There are tons of clues leading up to it, especially in the book.

Sorry for the confusion (and this probably didn't help to clear any of it up).

Tom

Here's the novel query. It gives him away in the second sentence and exposes the sequence of twists.


He was supposed to have a slow week—a dead week. For a "guy" like Lucifer, things just couldn't be that damn easy. Since taking a human form, he roams the earth as a soul collector from Hell, killing people who have sold themselves to the devil. The catch—he's never been to Hell, nor does he plan on ever going there. His decision to assist in Satan's soul-hording endeavor is two-fold: it gives him a chance to lash out at the humans whom he blames for his exile, and it serves as the main conduit of his reckless plan to return to Heaven. Contrary to the traditional teachings of Christian mythology, Lucifer's a fallen angel (wait until you see his wings in the follow-up novel) who wants nothing more than to return to paradise.

Life on earth is full of surprises for this foul-mouthed and politically incorrect angel as he dodges the cops, the advances of a demonic transsexual and this strange new emotion he feels when he shows up to collect Sarah Brecker—the green-eyed, fiery-haired vixen whose image he can't seem to shake. During his fight to fall for her, Lucifer discovers he's at the center of a plot in which Satan may finally drag him into Hell. In the end, he must decide between waiting for Judgment Day or following that dull ache in his chest to save the woman who exposed him to love.

DYING FIRE, a fast-paced thriller, is packed with raw humor, violence, several semi-erotic scenes and a romance that shouldn't exist. This novel possesses enough religious controversy to rival that of Dan Brown’s Robert Langdon books and reads like Brian Haig on steroids.

The complete 80,000-word novel is available at your convenience. And you'll never look at a Vodka martini the same.


Lucifer's name isn't given until the showdown with Satan. And in the end, he turns out to be a "good guy." He's still raw and would make a horrible politician, but he ends up "saving" people instead of blaming them for his fall.

Sorry again for all the confusion. So, should I expose him in the query like I did for the novel? Or should I build it up for the surprise?

Tom