This is the hardest thing I've ever done

arainsb123 · Jan 23, 2007

I'm writing first-person, from the viewpoint of a male prostitute who has completely submitted himself to an utterly foul, just sickening client who has become so much more, who idolizes and worships this client-lover for reasons I sympathize and empathize with even if I think they're misguided and spineless and confused, and trying to slip into his viewpoint ... recognizing that all characters come from _me_, and that this wormy subjugated naive little cretin is derived of _me_, and knowing I'm going to be with him for quite some while and that he'll only change gradually, and not necessarily in the ways _I_ would like him to change ...

My instinct is to rush him forward into whom I want him to be, but that's cheating, and worse than writing nothing at all.

Yeah. It's hard, but the story demands it. I'm seething with anger and frustration and getting a headache, but I'm not about to shy away from this. Through pain I'll produce power.

I had to let that loose, to tell _someone_ and not just the little journal I keep.

WildScribe · Jan 23, 2007

Darlin, you might want to look into learning to shield... sounds like a brutal role to write.

The Lady · Jan 23, 2007

WildScribe said:
Darlin, you might want to look into learning to shield... sounds like a brutal role to write.

How do you learn to shield? I shy away from writing in the POV of characters like that. I can write about them but not so much as them.

IrishScribbler · Jan 23, 2007

arainsb123 said:
Yeah. It's hard, but the story demands it. I'm seething with anger and frustration and getting a headache, but I'm not about to shy away from this. Through pain I'll produce power.

I empathize with you. The MC in my WIP is bipolar (which I am, also), and writing about her is starting to trigger episodes in myself.

I suppose it's a good thing when we get emotional about our characters....

We are always here for you!

veinglory · Jan 23, 2007

Not all your characters have to be reflective of you at all--just someone you can imagine. You can project yourself into their shoes rather than sucking their situation into your head.

swvaughn · Jan 23, 2007

Oh, man. I feel you, arain. Glad I'm not the only nut -- er, writer who really experiences their characters while they're writing them. It's agonizing sometimes, but the good part is when it's like that, you know the story's gonna come alive.

And seriously, I need to read this when you're done. It sounds awesome.

Chasing the Horizon · Jan 23, 2007

And seriously, I need to read this when you're done. It sounds awesome.

Me too!

I think it's good when what you write (or who you write as) effects you deeply. It will effect the readers too. Just take a break if it gets overwhelming, then go back to it. Sounds like you're committed, though, which is excellent. I can't wait to read it!

PeeDee · Jan 23, 2007

If I suddenly start acting like a small baby who eats people alive, or a robot, someone let me know, please.

arainsb123 · Jan 28, 2007

Not all your characters have to be reflective of you at all

The awful thing is that I can see facets of myself in this person.

Ordinarily I would be sticking to third person for this, but I currently have two mouldering novels-in-perpetual-progress on my hands because third person was leaving me cold.

I managed to get through this section of story. Now I get to craft a new viewpoint character for myself for a while before switching back to this guy. (To keep the reader from getting confused, I separate my blocks of narrative told by different characters with third-person interludes.)

And thank you to the two of you who said you'd like to read it!

Zoombie · Jan 28, 2007

I was (re)writing my short story, Number 13, and started to almost cry at one point. Damn you first person! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Oh, and by the way, go read Number 13 in the share your work (Sci-fi) board and tell me what you think /shameless plug

arainsb123 · Jan 28, 2007

I have to reply to your signature: vampires, at least, don't smell of wet dog when it's raining out. And they bathe rather than licking themselves clean.

Zoombie · Jan 28, 2007

Werewolves could bathe, they just don't feel like it.

Cassiopeia · Jan 29, 2007

One of the things that makes our characters believable is the part of us that can empathize with all people from various walks of life. When you find that you can't get out of the character I would like to suggest that you go take a walk...look around you and focus on being present in your own life.

Writing about a bipolar person shouldn't set off bipolar disorder in the writer and if it does, I suggest you seek professional help or learn to have a bit of detachment with your work.

skelly · Jan 29, 2007

It's funny, up until about an hour ago I would have thought that this topic was a little silly. Just write it. But, I am here checking out the board instead of working on my day's 1000 words because out of the blue, in the middle of a scene, I realized that one of my MC's is going to get up out of bed and cut himself. It was like a thunderclap in my head. He's suffering a lot of deep emotional pain that forms one of the book's subplots, and with a few hints in some early chapters thrown in, it works perfectly. But I've been sitting here staring at the screen every since. I googled "teen cutting" and boned up on the subject. Came back. Still nothing. The idea of standing there in that room (figuratively) and watching this kid cut himself is totally freaking me out.

Cassiopeia · Jan 29, 2007

skelly said:
It's funny, up until about an hour ago I would have thought that this topic was a little silly. Just write it. But, I am here checking out the board instead of working on my day's 1000 words because out of the blue, in the middle of a scene, I realized that one of my MC's is going to get up out of bed and cut himself. It was like a thunderclap in my head. He's suffering a lot of deep emotional pain that forms one of the book's subplots, and with a few hints in some early chapters thrown in, it works perfectly. But I've been sitting here staring at the screen every since. I googled "teen cutting" and boned up on the subject. Came back. Still nothing. The idea of standing there in that room (figuratively) and watching this kid cut himself is totally freaking me out.

Detach...come back to it ..write something else and come back to it when you are ready to write it without it freaking you out.

Hillgate · Jan 29, 2007

Dilemma

The writer-into-character dilemma sounds like a great basis for a novel...

This is the hardest thing I've ever done

arainsb123

Learning!

WildScribe

Slave to the Wordcount

The Lady

Critical Member

IrishScribbler

veinglory

volitare nequeo

swvaughn

adrift

Chasing the Horizon

Blowing in the Wind

PeeDee

Where's my tea, please...?

arainsb123

Learning!

Zoombie

Dragon of the Multiverse

arainsb123

Learning!

Zoombie

Dragon of the Multiverse

Cassiopeia

Otherwise Occupied

skelly

Kickin it old school, posers beware

Cassiopeia

Otherwise Occupied

Hillgate

On location