Introducing the main character

Oliveman · Dec 4, 2006

I have run accross a stumbling point in my novel, already. I want to be sure that the set up I have to introduce my main character, who we'll just call Bob here for classified reasons ^_-. In any case, Bob's story begins in a town that is surrounded by mountains on one side and sea cliffs on the other, has had no contact with other civilizations for ages and ages, but is totally self-sufficient. Thing is, they never concern themselves with what is "beyond the mountains", but Bob is, and in fact he is interested in all sorts of things that are no concern of the people in the village, as they all have their own lives to live, and with it their own problems. It is a family metaphor, really, this town, but one which Bob is noticably different from. Anyway, I plan to introduce him in the first chapter by first showing little scenes throughout the town, surface level snapshots of the townsfolk that will be important later, which all connect untill you get to Bob's school, where his seat is conspicuously empty. It then switches over to following Bob, who you get, as a first image, him standing in a wooded clearing, shooting one of his arrows at the sun. The action then continues, and whatever it is that he was doing that day commences. Oh and by the way this is a medival-ish era fantasy novel I am fixing to write, if you were wondering at the bow. This probably isn't enough information, but I just want to know what you think about this sequence as a viable way of setting up the character's introduction. I mean this in terms of: should I show Bob first? Should I go into Bob's history first? Should I only provide description of the town and general info about its inhabitents?

thanks for helping as these characters and this plot come alive in my head

Willowmound · Dec 4, 2006

I hope you pay more attention to grammar in your WIP than what you have done here.

Start with conflict, something interesting that will grab the reader. Snapshots of the status quo is probably not the best way to go. I say probably.

You don't have to introduce your MC immediately, but if you don't, you should have a good reason for it.

TheIT · Dec 4, 2006

Start somewhere. Get the story going and keep writing. By the time you finish the story you might decide the story should start in a different place, so use what you've got now as a springboard to launch the story.

That said, IMHO and without seeing any of what's been written, I usually prefer to be introduced to the main character before the setting. Either way can work, but for me, I like to connect immediately to the person whose story I'll be sharing for the next several hundred pages.

What point of view is the story? The POV choice will also suggest how to begin.

J.S Greer · Dec 4, 2006

Oliveman said:
I plan to introduce him in the first chapter by first showing little scenes throughout the town, surface level snapshots of the townsfolk that will be important later, which all connect untill you get to Bob's school, where his seat is conspicuously empty. It then switches over to following Bob, who you get, as a first image, him standing in a wooded clearing, shooting one of his arrows at the sun.

That should work well enough, if youre clever about it. Quick also. Most times, you want to start your story with action, rather than building up to the action.

Id personally start with Bob, and let his feelings and senses be the few paragraphs of tone setting. Then get into the character proper, and include the snapshots of the people from Bob's POV.

I hope this makes any sense at all.

zenofeller · Dec 4, 2006

Oliveman said:
should I show Bob first? Should I go into Bob's history first? Should I only provide description of the town and general info about its inhabitents?

you probably should not start into the main character right off.

Zolah · Dec 4, 2006

I'd just like to add: it seems a little odd for there to be a conventional sort of school with rows of seats if you're writing something supposedly Medieval. There were no schools like that in that era. Life was too hard to spare good little workers from the farm, the loom, or the mill to learn to read. Unless you have a very good reason for this region to school their children (and school them in what? That's a good question too) this will seem silly.

J.S Greer · Dec 5, 2006

The point about the schools is a good one. Id say it should be less formal unless it is formal for a reason. Then again its a story, and the world can take whatever shape you want it to. Realism is important though.

blacbird · Dec 5, 2006

Does Bob do anything? If so, have Bob do something.

caw

J.S Greer · Dec 5, 2006

blacbird said:
Does Bob do anything? If so, have Bob do something.

caw

even walking through the city, taking in the sights and running into people, while he is on his way somewhere.

Willowmound · Dec 5, 2006

J.S Greer said:
Realism is important though.

Actually, what's important is to make the reader believe the story is 'real'.

The point about the school is good. It's the kind of thing that can easily throw the reader's willing suspension of disbelief, as them calls it.

farfromfearless · Dec 5, 2006

School? Only the wealthy and those aligned with the church had any academic training in those days, in fact even many of the nobility were as ignorant as a peasant, barely able to write their own name. Be careful on that point.

Back story is useful but it is a tool that must be used appropriately. You CAN start off your story by fleshing out the village and the world in that sense but be very sure that it is interesting enough to catch a reader's attention. I am of the opinion that your story and the introduction of the main character should start as soon as possible. Shooting the arrow at the sun is a good start.

Stacia Kane · Dec 5, 2006

There were schools (ed to add--in the larger cities), especially in the later medieval period, and while most people couldn't read and/or write, quite a few could as well. The Boudlian Library at Oxford has extant manuscripts of novels and stories from this period, from 11th-16th centuries. (Their ms go back into the 6th and 7th centuries, actually.)

*sorry...sore spot*

greglondon · Dec 5, 2006

thumbrule: person, place, problem.

Bob, in an isolated village in medieval times,
and Bob doesn't want to be isolated anymore.

thumbrule: The closer your point of view to the characters, the closer your reader can get to your characters.

Your post talks about Bob from omniscient point of view. You'll need to move the camera closer and get right behind Bob, follow what he is doing, tell us what he is thinking in the moment.

thumbrule: start at the beginning.

I wouldn't start with scenery and setting and how the town is,
and then show how Bob is different. I'd start at the point where
Bob realizes on some level that he's different, show that moment,
then bring in the rest of the world and explain how it works after.

Your milage may vary.

greglondon · Dec 5, 2006

hm, that person,place,problem could be written:

Bob, in a town where everyone is the same,
and Bob is different.

Ever see "The Point"?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067595/
It was written by Harry Nilsson,
of the "Lime in the Coconut" fame.
I like his stuff and "The Point" is
about someone who is different
when everyone else is the same.

triceretops · Dec 5, 2006

Kind of sounds like it could start the way the Hobbit story began, with Bilbo filled with the need to go adventuring. Is shooting an arrow at the sun significant? Maybe he wants to follow that arrow and leave everybody behind in the village, since no one dares to leave (the shire), only Bob is a rebel of sorts.

There's your hook conflict--Bob shooting the arrow at the sun and he vows to follow it. Cut to....an empty place in the school tent/room, where he's supposed to be sitting. There's your problem. A sense of adventure or civil disobedience. Follow?

Just a suggestion.

Run your character up a tree (present a major problem), throw rocks at him whilst he's in the tree (give him hardship), let his solve his problems after numerous failures, which leads to (taking him out of the tree).

Tri

PeeDee · Dec 5, 2006

And remember my golden rule of beginnings (and character introduction, for that matter): When in doubt, set the house on fire with your character in it. Then go from there.

maestrowork · Dec 5, 2006

Start your book in the middle of something going on, and introduce your character soon, unless there is a good reason to do otherwise (say, Han Solo doesn't appear until midway because, well, his story doesn't start until then).

If something happens after the main character shoots an arrow at the sun, then start there. If not, if he's just doing target practice, maybe start somewhere else where there is a definite plot movement. Like PeeDee said, set the house on fire with your character in it. Don't just stand there and look at a beautiful house and the sunset behind it.

The opening "meet the town" kind of crane shot doesn't work well. We are not watching a movie. Two very different media.

It's by far one of the most common mistakes new writers make: to start the story with a "show the neighborhood" or "let's tell the history of the character" scene. Read some best-sellers and see how the masters opened their books and introduce their characters.

Gillhoughly · Dec 5, 2006

Always introduce the character and his "driver" asap--as in from page one. The driver is what leads your character into conflict. He lives in a pokey, isolated town, big deal, what does he DO.

It is not fair to judge things by your thumbnail of the town and its area, but my eyes were glazing over while reading the first two (way too long) lines. It read like a film script treatment.

You can get away setting a scene like this in a film, because the film clips run for 10-15 seconds then sweeps into the life and times of the MC.

In a book you need to hook a wary reader who's checking out the first page while standing in a bookstore. Make the character so interesting from the start that the reader HAS to find out more about him. Isolated towns are a dime a dozen, however much you may love this one.

I suggest checking through the Miss Snark Crap-o-Meter contests for past examples of how not to do an opening.

People want to know about a person first, then his home town. You can weave in the pretty scene dressing as your MC moves through it, but there are very few experienced writers who open with a landscape. Most of them know better and always start with the main character first, and he's doing something interesting.

Your story starts with him shooting the arrow. Depending on the tech development of the place it can take a full day to make an arrow. Why is he wasting a whole day's work?

Good luck.

Julie Worth · Dec 5, 2006

Oliveman said:
Bob [is] standing in a wooded clearing, shooting one of his arrows at the sun.

Have the arrow come down in the eye of a prince, and go from there.

PeeDee · Dec 5, 2006

Julie Worth said:
Have the arrow come down in the eye of a prince, and go from there.

THAT, I would read.

AdamH · Dec 5, 2006

Oliveman said:
I mean this in terms of: should I show Bob first? Should I go into Bob's history first? Should I only provide description of the town and general info about its inhabitents?

Yes. To all of these.

More specifically. Show Bob first. If we don't get to know your main character on a personal level, we won't care about his history or his environment. After you establish his character, his quirks, his loves, his hates, his...whatever...then delve into his history to explain why he is how he is. As for his environment and the people in the town, if it serves the purpose of painting a picture of the story, write it. But, at any point, when you reread it, if it seems to slow the plot down and get in the way, trim it.

That's all I gotta say about that!

blacbird · Dec 5, 2006

greglondon said:
hm, that person,place,problem could be written:

Bob, in a town where everyone is the same,
and Bob is different.

How different? In whose judgment? Different from whom? From what?

Show Bob doing something "different".

caw

Oliveman · Dec 5, 2006

Haha I appreciate all the advice. I was rushed when I posted that last night, so of course it had errors here or there. Moreover, I was being massively general on purpose. I get the point that you need to have something to draw in the reader, and that you need to move on to the main character fairly quickly. The whole beginning, what you could call the unofficial prelude, is filled with strange inconsistences: a caretaker of a clocktower that doesn't tick, odd names for things, people running into eachother with alot of "unsaid dialogue", and delightfully odd characters. These all have to do with Bob, but also are there for the larger picture of the novel. For me it is more about suspending disbelief than it is jumping right into the personal account of the main character, though I realize many people do this first, since people can relate to... well, other people. From your comments I gather, though, that I need to make this transition quickly and deftly, if at all.

Oh and the part about the schools... this is a self-sufficient community, one that is much like a family in its relations. Everyone goes to school, it is not a matter of wealth, since there is no real reason for power in the community... or not one they realize. Remember that medival or not, this is another world, whose technology may have progressed at the same rate and order, but whose culture might be rather different... or, again, strangely similar.

Please feel free to comment on this plan, now that I've laid it out a bit more. Thanks for what you've said so far!

Soccer Mom · Dec 5, 2006

The important thing to keep in mind if you're starting off with a lot of little vignettes is to make sure we care. The danger in starting off with a bunch of minor characters doing things that we don't understand is that we (the reader) will be confused or bored. This tends to make us wander off. We're dumb like sheep that way. HOOK us. Make us care about something or someone right away. Keep that in mind when drafting your beginning.

davids · Dec 5, 2006

It then switches over to following Bob, who you get, as a first image, him standing in a wooded clearing, shooting one of his arrows at the sun.

What I am getting is you do not know how to introduce Bob in your WIP? Correct?

Bob shot his arrow toward the sun. "I wonder what is on the other side of the sun?" If as it seems in your work you have a bit of a phylosopher here-a chap who considers what might be on the other side of the mountains, the hills, the valleys, or for that matter the sun-perhaps this is a direct way to do so. You could then introduce conflict-dialogue et al. Just a suggestion. You know, the rest of the story.

Introducing the main character

Lightly salted

Infuriatingly Theoretical

Feel the power!

Over the hills and far away

Feel the power!

Feel the power!

Lightly salted

Girl Detective

Planet Wookie techno geek

Planet Wookie techno geek

Where's my tea, please...?

Fear the Death Ray

Grumpy writer and editor

What? I have a title?

Where's my tea, please...?

Pumped Up Kicks

Crypto-fascist