Rape of Language...do I stutter?

Little Red Barn · Dec 2, 2006

iojo9

BruceJ · Dec 2, 2006

I've seen stuttering reflected with dashes pretty effectively. I'm not s-s-s-ure if it's the c-c-correct way to d-do it, b-b-b-but it s-s-seems to do the j-j-job.

John61480 · Dec 2, 2006

I like what Bruce showed. It seems to work best when the first letter of the word is stuttered.

BruceJ · Dec 2, 2006

Not to push my luck, but severe stuttering can be accented with ellipsis or partial ellipsis, I think. "I c-c-can't s-seem to...g-get my p-p-point...m-m-made." Dunno, that may be overdoing it.

Little Red Barn · Dec 2, 2006

Thanks guys would this be correct...?
G-g-irl, y-y-y-our're p-pr-pre-tty?

Elektra · Dec 2, 2006

A lot of readers tend to skip over studdering, however, as it severely slows down the pace, and calls attention to the writing. Usually just"he stuttered the words" works well, though it's not as dramatic.

BruceJ · Dec 2, 2006

True. Any device like this is devalued with use. It's a fine line between what gets the idea across (e.g., is really important that he's stuttering?) and what become annoying to the reader, a tripping point.

Little Red Barn · Dec 2, 2006

Elektra said:
A lot of readers tend to skip over studdering, however, as it severely slows down the pace, and calls attention to the writing. Usually just"he stuttered the words" works well, though it's not as dramatic.

I thought of that Elektra, but he only says 3 lines in my entire book and I wanted my reader too feel the pain, in this sentence. thanks, kimmi

BruceJ · Dec 2, 2006

kimmi 57 said:
Thanks guys would this be correct...?
G-g-irl, y-y-y-our're p-pr-pre-tty?

I think I'd stick with just the first letter, kimmi. It's kinda like abstract art--Monet didn't paint every ripple in the water, just a few lily pads. You're suggesting a speech impediment that most readers are already aware of and can identify. No need to repeat each letter/grouping. Go subtle and let their imaginations picture the saliva projectiles. Just a thought.

BruceJ · Dec 2, 2006

I know, I know. Monet was an impressionist, not an abstract artist. B-b-but you know w-w-what I mean, right?

Little Red Barn · Dec 2, 2006

BruceJ said:
I know, I know. Money was an impressionist, not an abstract artist. B-b-but you know w-w-what I mean, right?

Er..Nope! Guess it's my stupid day..again!
"G-g-irl y-y-our're p-p-retty????"

BruceJ · Dec 2, 2006

kimmi 57 said:
Er..Nope! Guess it's my stupid day..again!
"G-g-irl y-y-our're p-p-retty????"

Maybe, "G-girl, y-y-you're..p-p-pretty." For readability, I'd make sure the root of the word (when he finally gets it out) begins with the letter being sprayed. That shows the speech problem, but doesn't make the reader have to work so hard to stitch the real word together.

Little Red Barn · Dec 2, 2006

BruceJ said:
Maybe, "G-girl, y-y-you're..p-p-pretty." For readability, I'd make sure the root of the word (when he finally gets it out) begins with the letter being sprayed. That shows the speech problem, but doesn't make the reader have to work so hard to stitch the real word together.

Bruce, B b-big T-t-t-thanks!!!

kimmi

BruceJ · Dec 2, 2006

you b-betcha!

Celia Cyanide · Dec 2, 2006

Elektra said:
A lot of readers tend to skip over studdering, however, as it severely slows down the pace, and calls attention to the writing. Usually just"he stuttered the words" works well, though it's not as dramatic.

I don't know about that. I think I would skip over, " 'Girl, you're pretty,' he studdered," because I would assume "studdered" was another one of those words the writer used, when the character did not, in fact, studder, hiss, or begin, but merely "said." I agree with BruceJ.

Little Red Barn · Dec 2, 2006

Thanks Celia, it's a very intense moment in my book...
thanks to all. kimmi

maddythemad · Dec 2, 2006

kimmi 57 said:
Thanks guys would this be correct...?
G-g-irl, y-y-y-our're p-pr-pre-tty?

IMHO, that's a bit much. I would say something like, "G-g-girl, you're p-pretty" or something like that.

anodyne · Dec 2, 2006

Just a thought, is this guy supposed to be greasy, cloying and unlikeable?

Cause if not, I would rethink the use of the word girl.

Little Red Barn · Dec 2, 2006

anodyne said:
Just a thought, is this guy supposed to be greasy, cloying and unlikeable?

Cause if not, I would rethink the use of the word girl.

He is an eight year old boy and a ghost from late rural 50's to boot!

Rabe · Dec 2, 2006

I wonder why it hasn't been pointed out that we don't actually say 'g' but utter the sound for it. Ditto for 'p'.

So, wouldn't it come across more realistically as:

"guh-guh-girl you're puh-puh-pretty?"

A guy I work with stutters but to get around it, he starts most of his sentences with "Aaaaahhhh" to get him to the point where he can speak the sentence. As he also used to have to work on the radio with dispatch, it was fun to listen to him.

Rabe...

writermom · Dec 2, 2006

When people stutter, they don’t stutter every word in the entire sentence. Less is better.

jbal · Dec 2, 2006

All this makes me think of King's It where there is a character who stutters. However he did it, it worked because I don't remember. Anyone remember?

janetbellinger · Dec 2, 2006

Good point, wirtermom. I believe it's often the first word of the sentence that's stuttered, then when the speaker gets that one out the rest of the sentence comes more easily.

writermom said:
When people stutter, they don’t stutter every word in the entire sentence. Less is better.

CBeasy · Dec 2, 2006

I prefer the way Bruce suggested it versus the idea of just adding "he stuttered" to the end or the beginning of the quote. To me, just telling me he stuttered doesn't paint the picture quite as well because I'm going to read the sentence whole, then I get told it was stuttered. If I actually read it broken, it seems to really paint the picture of his speech.

anodyne · Dec 3, 2006

kimmi 57 said:
He is an eight year old boy and a ghost from late rural 50's to boot!

If it works it works.

I'm just saying, if it doesn't work...

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