A quick question

Celia Cyanide · Nov 25, 2006

I was just curious what you do when you are writing a scene and you can't tell if it is day or night. My main character has been kidnapped. She is locked in a big white room with no windows and one light in the ceiling that is always on. The whole point is that she doesn't know what time of day it is, or how much time has gone by, since the light never changes.

I know what time of day it is, since I know where each scene fits in the story. But it's not really important, since the room will look the same, whether it is day or night.

How would you write this?

RainbowDragon · Nov 25, 2006

I'd just leave out the time indicator.

Write_At_1st_Light · Nov 25, 2006

Or, you could write a rooster into the scene, that crows from a nest it has built on the roof of the jet hangar containing the white room with the omnipresent light and the trapped heroine.

That way the audience knows what time it is but the heroine won't unless she has been counting the seconds since she was abducted and can therefore estimate the time of day plus or minus 12 hours.

I don't often dispense with shrewd and green-lighting advice and now you know why...

dpaterso · Nov 25, 2006

Ditto, I'd drop the time of day...

INT. BIG WHITE ROOM -

...same as I would for outer space scenes or long cave scenes, etc.

Just while we happen to be talking about a white room! I've seen folks in (prose) writing groups chuckle wickedly over this description, especially if a character wakes up in such a setting -- as if Author has limited powers of imagination and thus makes do with "a white room." I'm just saying. Of course there are easy options,

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM -
INT. PRISON CELL -
INT. TIMELESS ROOM -

...not that I'm suggesting you should pay the slightest attention, you understand.

-Derek

Goodwriterguy · Nov 25, 2006

Celia Cyanide said:
I was just curious what you do when you are writing a scene and you can't tell if it is day or night. My main character has been kidnapped. She is locked in a big white room with no windows and one light in the ceiling that is always on. The whole point is that she doesn't know what time of day it is, or how much time has gone by, since the light never changes.

I know what time of day it is, since I know where each scene fits in the story. But it's not really important, since the room will look the same, whether it is day or night.

How would you write this?

If you do not include a time of day in the caption, you'll have to incorporate some kind of explanation in your narrative. I don't believe this is all that uncommon.

Or, you could write,

INT INTERROGATION CELL - DAY/NIGHT

but we'll never know which because there are no windows, no clock, no way of knowing the time or whether it is daytime or nighttime, and for [character] this, on top of everything else, makes her existence here a mind numbing experience.

White-on-white, with a single glaring light bulb hanging at its center that's always on, the place is so bright it practically blinds the eyes, and intentionally so.

[continue scene]

Or some such.

I assume you will have us in this room more than once. You'll take us into it, do a scene and then cut to somewhere else and do something else and then come back to it; perhaps even several times. The narrative example here would serve every instance and need not be repeated. In later scene captions, you could drop the "DAY/NIGHT," because you have established what the situation is. You might, on later captions, do this:

INT INTERROGATION CELL (SAME)

But there are lots of ways to skin this cat. You should fiddle around with it until you find something that suits your voice. It's much less a technical consideration that it is a creative one, you want it to read well and convey the essential facts.

I just finished a script in which my protag was in similar circumstances, and for weeks. He was captive and under interrogation daily. We'd see him in the "torture room" and then in his cell (prison cell) and then being dragged along some companionway or in the infirmary ... all places that were windowless and timeless. I just didn't include a DAY or NIGHT declaration in the scene captions. It seemed to read okay. And when we weren't with him we were elsewhere, often but not always with those who were seeking to effect his release. Back and forth we went.

Keep scrubbing, you'll find something that works.

Write_At_1st_Light · Nov 25, 2006

Is this what's hot then? Am I missing the boat? (wouldn't be the first time)

Celia's a good writer, Goodwriterguy is a - well - a good writer guy - and BOTH of you are doing this dayless timeless colorless detainee room where God knows what happens.

Okay then I'm doing one. I hope neither of you is using the song "Refugee" by Tom Petty as a theme? I'm a gonna do that. And I'm going to take up myself on my own suggestion and use that darned ROOSTER! See the audience will hear the rooster (it'll be a plastic rooster with air bladders so PETA won't get mad) but the hero / heroine WON'T so that they are still disoriented. But I can just hear the audience at the premiere: But what TIME is it?!? I gots to know!!! Iff'n I don't get a clue as to what time it is, but quick, I'll call the usher and together we'll storm the projection room and shut 'er down!!! Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Since I do NOT want drama in the audience but I DO want it in the flick, I don't see any way around this besides a plastic rooster with air bladders being manipulated offstage. And they can foley in the cocka-doodle-do in post, I'm not going to have a cow over that...

clockwork · Nov 25, 2006

Write_At_1st_Light said:
Is this what's hot then? Am I missing the boat? (wouldn't be the first time)

Celia's a good writer, Goodwriterguy is a - well - a good writer guy - and BOTH of you are doing this dayless timeless colorless detainee room where God knows what happens.

Okay then I'm doing one. I hope neither of you is using the song "Refugee" by Tom Petty as a theme? I'm a gonna do that. And I'm going to take up myself on my own suggestion and use that darned ROOSTER! See the audience will hear the rooster (it'll be a plastic rooster with air bladders so PETA won't get mad) but the hero / heroine WON'T so that they are still disoriented. But I can just hear the audience at the premiere: But what TIME is it?!? I gots to know!!! Iff'n I don't get a clue as to what time it is, but quick, I'll call the usher and together we'll storm the projection room and shut 'er down!!! Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Since I do NOT want drama in the audience but I DO want it in the flick, I don't see any way around this besides a plastic rooster with air bladders being manipulated offstage. And they can foley in the cocka-doodle-do in post, I'm not going to have a cow over that...

I think Write has fallen down and hit his head on something hard.

Goodwriterguy · Nov 25, 2006

We're at war, dammit ...

Write_At_1st_Light said:
Is this what's hot then? Am I missing the boat? (wouldn't be the first time)

We're at war man, or did you take Bush seriously and just go shopping?

Write_At_1st_Light said:
Celia's a good writer, Goodwriterguy is a - well - a good writer guy - and BOTH of you are doing this dayless timeless colorless detainee room where God knows what happens.[

Actually, my room was green, you know, that pale sort of institutional green that roils the stomach?

Write_At_1st_Light said:
Okay then I'm doing one. I hope neither of you is using the song "Refugee" by Tom Petty as a theme? I'm a gonna do that. And I'm going to take up myself on my own suggestion and use that darned ROOSTER! See the audience will hear the rooster (it'll be a plastic rooster with air bladders so PETA won't get mad) but the hero / heroine WON'T so that they are still disoriented. But I can just hear the audience at the premiere: But what TIME is it?!? I gots to know!!! Iff'n I don't get a clue as to what time it is, but quick, I'll call the usher and together we'll storm the projection room and shut 'er down!!! Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Since I do NOT want drama in the audience but I DO want it in the flick, I don't see any way around this besides a plastic rooster with air bladders being manipulated offstage. And they can foley in the cocka-doodle-do in post, I'm not going to have a cow over that...

I did my research. The Bulls at Guantanamo said they had no roosters, so that idea went out the window ("We don't need no steenking roosters!") and as much as I like Tom Petty, I opted for a little Hip Hop, but then changed my mind and went for the theme music from "Blair Witch."

BTW, the tour at Gitmo was interesting, especialy the waterboarding demo, and I learned all about that putrid green there too. See, ya gotta do your research man. When ya go there, just make sure they don't throw a rope on you, they have a bad habit of doing that. I had to run to catch the flight out, and it was close, lemme tell ya, too close for comfort.

And remember, we're at war dammit! Oh I know it doesn't seem like it, but take it from the deciderator, he deciderated so he knows. Check. Bump and run. War! The cool write about it. Ya wanna be cool, or what?

Write on!

Celia Cyanide · Nov 26, 2006

Thanks, everyone, for your input! dpaterso:

dpaterso said:
INT. BIG WHITE ROOM -

...same as I would for outer space scenes or long cave scenes, etc.

Just while we happen to be talking about a white room! I've seen folks in (prose) writing groups chuckle wickedly over this description, especially if a character wakes up in such a setting -- as if Author has limited powers of imagination and thus makes do with "a white room." I'm just saying. Of course there are easy options,

Yes, I agree. My script does not take itself completely seriously. It is a dark comedy with elements of parody. The kidnapper is a parody of a Jigsaw-type villian. The white room represents the writing cliche you mention, and a few other things. I don't want to explain too much of it right now, but the tone is closer to Pecker than Saw.

Thanks for the advice. I think I will just explain about the room the first time I introduce it, and how the lighting never changes, and then drop the time indicator. The viewer will usually know what time of day the scenes take place by what time the scenes before it and after it take place. And when they don't know, it probably won't matter much.

Write_At_1st_Light · Nov 28, 2006

Goodwriterguy said:
We're at war man, or did you take Bush seriously and just go shopping?

Actually, my room was green, you know, that pale sort of institutional green that roils the stomach?

I did my research. The Bulls at Guantanamo said they had no roosters, so that idea went out the window ("We don't need no steenking roosters!") and as much as I like Tom Petty, I opted for a little Hip Hop, but then changed my mind and went for the theme music from "Blair Witch."

BTW, the tour at Gitmo was interesting, especialy the waterboarding demo, and I learned all about that putrid green there too. See, ya gotta do your research man. When ya go there, just make sure they don't throw a rope on you, they have a bad habit of doing that. I had to run to catch the flight out, and it was close, lemme tell ya, too close for comfort.

And remember, we're at war dammit! Oh I know it doesn't seem like it, but take it from the deciderator, he deciderated so he knows. Check. Bump and run. War! The cool write about it. Ya wanna be cool, or what?

Write on!

Very cool, GWG (hey it's better than GWB). Before this Admin started using Gitmo as their little torture chamber of horrors, I was there! Okay, anchored off the coast. I was on an aircraft carrier and if the 5,000 of us guys would have hit Gitmo, the whole island would have tipped sideways. Anyway Gitmo was where you went on your shakedown cruise, to get ready for a long deployment at sea.

I'm not writing about the Decider for now because I need to celebrate a little after Nov 7th so I'm writing a comedy. Sure, what the Decider has done could be seen as a 6-year comedy, only it's a black comedy and everyone was too afraid to laugh.

On the other hand, maybe if I dressed up GWB as a plastic Rooster - kind of like a bad San Diego Chicken - I could have him marching around the putrid green room's perimeter and crowing at six every morning so the audience knows it's morning and they can finish their jujubes in peace...and those snowcaps, man I love those things. Even better than popcorn...

nielsty · Nov 28, 2006

I think they were using Metallica for torture in Guantanamo. Remember something about Lars Ulrich complaining - probably sued Bush for missing royalty payments or something...

Goodwriterguy · Nov 28, 2006

Write_At_1st_Light said:
Very cool, GWG (hey it's better than GWB). Before this Admin started using Gitmo as their little torture chamber of horrors, I was there! Okay, anchored off the coast. I was on an aircraft carrier and if the 5,000 of us guys would have hit Gitmo, the whole island would have tipped sideways. Anyway Gitmo was where you went on your shakedown cruise, to get ready for a long deployment at sea.

I'm not writing about the Decider for now because I need to celebrate a little after Nov 7th so I'm writing a comedy. Sure, what the Decider has done could be seen as a 6-year comedy, only it's a black comedy and everyone was too afraid to laugh.

On the other hand, maybe if I dressed up GWB as a plastic Rooster - kind of like a bad San Diego Chicken - I could have him marching around the putrid green room's perimeter and crowing at six every morning so the audience knows it's morning and they can finish their jujubes in peace...and those snowcaps, man I love those things. Even better than popcorn...

A sailor, eh? Well, you coulda done worse, like USAF for example. Me, I was a grunt, despite having grown up in a solidly Navy town, Long Beach, California. But my dad was a sailor so I had to be different. Not too smart, it almost cost me my life. My dad had the last laugh on that one.

We definitely need some comedies after BushCo's madnesses. My two terrorist stories are satires, so I'm trying to contribute. A laugh a minute, yet the seriousness of it all is right there too.

One of these tales is titled "SCREENPLAY," and the first two words in the script are "screenplay." It's about a writer who pens a script with a terrorist plot and of course it lands him in hot water with the snoops, who figure he's gotta be an al Qaeda guy for sure, based on what he's written. But of course he isn't, he just has a very good imagination and, as he says, "I did my research." It works out in the end after they torture the crap out of him (good old Patriot Act) and come to realize they need him to stave off a real al Qaeda cyber attack, and he saves the day.

He tells one of his torturers, "You must be a Bush appointee ..." and the guy retorts, "Well, let's put it this way, it wasn't Jimmy Carter."

A laugh a minute.

Bush as rooster strikes me as very good casting, lotta crowing and a pea brain. Poifect!

I'm happy they didn't put you ashore at Gitmo and leave you there.

GWG is better than GWB, damn, it never occurred to me how close I came to a real disaster there! Whoa!

Keep giggling!

Write_At_1st_Light · Nov 28, 2006

Goodwriterguy said:
A sailor, eh? Well, you coulda done worse, like USAF for example. Me, I was a grunt, despite having grown up in a solidly Navy town, Long Beach, California. But my dad was a sailor so I had to be different. Not too smart, it almost cost me my life. My dad had the last laugh on that one.

We definitely need some comedies after BushCo's madnesses. My two terrorist stories are satires, so I'm trying to contribute. A laugh a minute, yet the seriousness of it all is right there too.

One of these tales is titled "SCREENPLAY," and the first two words in the script are "screenplay." It's about a writer who pens a script with a terrorist plot and of course it lands him in hot water with the snoops, who figure he's gotta be an al Qaeda guy for sure, based on what he's written. But of course he isn't, he just has a very good imagination and, as he says, "I did my research." It works out in the end after they torture the crap out of him (good old Patriot Act) and come to realize they need him to stave off a real al Qaeda cyber attack, and he saves the day.

He tells one of his torturers, "You must be a Bush appointee ..." and the guy retorts, "Well, let's put it this way, it wasn't Jimmy Carter."

A laugh a minute.

Bush as rooster strikes me as very good casting, lotta crowing and a pea brain. Poifect!

I'm happy they didn't put you ashore at Gitmo and leave you there.

GWG is better than GWB, damn, it never occurred to me how close I came to a real disaster there! Whoa!

Keep giggling!

Well will wonders never cease! I'm a former squid, you're a former grunt (both part of the Navy Department, by the way ;-).

But what's this other thing?!? You were in Long Beach CA? I went to CSULB in 1980 as a Theatre Arts major (Steven Spielberg had gone a bit earlier as a Film major). Went to the Long Beach College of Business. Worked at Long Beach Memorial Hospital, saw the Grand Prix twice (it was right down the street, I lived on Atlantic and 5th downtown). Lived near that friggin Traffic Circle also, on the PCH. Applied for a job at the Queen Mary even, during my collitch days. Now I'm up here in L.A., being a wiseass.

Yer scripterino sounds good, hope I git to see it on the old celluloid! I think it will play better after the current regime is completely flushed from power. When we can breathe a little, laugh a little, and feel damned lucky that we halted our American headlong dash towards the precipice of fascism. Maybe only 30% of eligible voters in our great land got up off of their butts and pulled a lever on November 7th. Thank God it was enough. Bush is now running scared. As well he should. He's not a rooster. He's a chicken.

My scriptola is totally non-political, so far. For example, today I'm writing the scene where they are delivering the 7-foot neck. But she wants a 12-foot neck, they gotta take it back (don't ask ;-).

Goodwriterguy · Nov 28, 2006

Write_At_1st_Light said:
Well will wonders never cease! I'm a former squid, you're a former grunt (both part of the Navy Department, by the way ;-).

But what's this other thing?!? You were in Long Beach CA? I went to CSULB in 1980 as a Theatre Arts major (Steven Spielberg had gone a bit earlier as a Film major). Went to the Long Beach College of Business. Worked at Long Beach Memorial Hospital, saw the Grand Prix twice (it was right down the street, I lived on Atlantic and 5th downtown). Lived near that friggin Traffic Circle also, on the PCH. Applied for a job at the Queen Mary even, during my collitch days. Now I'm up here in L.A., being a wiseass.

Yer scripterino sounds good, hope I git to see it on the old celluloid! I think it will play better after the current regime is completely flushed from power. When we can breathe a little, laugh a little, and feel damned lucky that we halted our American headlong dash towards the precipice of fascism. Maybe only 30% of eligible voters in our great land got up off of their butts and pulled a lever on November 7th. Thank God it was enough. Bush is now running scared. As well he should. He's not a rooster. He's a chicken.

My scriptola is totally non-political, so far. For example, today I'm writing the scene where they are delivering the 7-foot neck. But she wants a 12-foot neck, they gotta take it back (don't ask ;-).

Okay, won't ask, sounds intrigueing tho.

Yep, fellow swab jocks at heart, sort of.

Damn man I was friggin' born in Long Beach, Seaside Hospital over on Magnolia, gone now. Long Beach Memorial? Was that up in Signal Hill? My kids were born there. I attended CSULB when it was CSLB, over behind the old Naval Hospital, right? Down below the traffic circle on PCH.

Small woild.

I think the time is getting nigh for something like "SCREENPLAY" nothing like a little satire to break the ice, or the logjam, whichever. Producer gotta have some maracas, though.

I ended up living all over SOCAL before finally bailing out altogether, Anaheim, Encino, Woodland Hills, Palos Verdes, Hermosa Beach, Topanga Canyon, Horse Thief Canyon, Agoura. Still have many friends and visit a few times each year, hustling scripts. As Randy Newman sings, "I Love LA!"

BushCo is done, cooked up nicely and ready to be served. He just doesn't know it quite yet. Losing in Iraq is a hard pill for him to swallow, but swallow it he will before all's said and done. :hooray:

Perhaps my movie will help push him off the cliff. Such fun!

Keep writing!

dpaterso · Nov 28, 2006

Gwg, if you don't get your film made and released soon, his 2nd term will be over and your script will be yesterday's newspaper.

...Unless he gets an ammendment passed to allow him to serve more than two terms in office. With the recent mid-term results that seems unlikely but you never know. Nixon couldn't do it, but this one...

General note to all, this is not an invite to turn this into a political thread. Thank you.

-Derek

Goodwriterguy · Nov 29, 2006

dpaterso said:
Gwg, if you don't get your film made and released soon, his 2nd term will be over and your script will be yesterday's newspaper.

...Unless he gets an ammendment passed to allow him to serve more than two terms in office. With the recent mid-term results that seems unlikely but you never know. Nixon couldn't do it, but this one...

Note, this is not an invite to turn this into a political thread.

-Derek

Nope, not interested in a politcal thread.

But my script isn't dependent upon Bush being in office. It isn't something that can wait forever mind you but it would work anywhere up to somehere around 09 or 10 or something. I mean, at that time it could be revised to set it specifically in 05 or 06. All it needs is the Patriot Act to be the law of the land. As written, it sets in "now" time.

Besides this, however, there's still two years before Bush leaves. The script will hit the market after the first of the year. An interested producer would have 18 months to get the project off and have it in theaters when Bush was still in Office. Seems like a do-able proposition to me.

My comment about it helping to push Bush off the cliff was a joke, really.

Material like this is essentially timeless.

A quick question

Celia Cyanide

Joker Groupie

RainbowDragon

Perpetuous Revisasaurus

Write_At_1st_Light

Writer of Nothingnesses

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

Goodwriterguy

Write_At_1st_Light

Writer of Nothingnesses

clockwork

In the zone...

Goodwriterguy

Celia Cyanide

Joker Groupie

Write_At_1st_Light

Writer of Nothingnesses

nielsty

I write my own stunts

Goodwriterguy

Write_At_1st_Light

Writer of Nothingnesses

Goodwriterguy

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

Goodwriterguy