razormoney said:
Is to be as descriptive as possible in the fewest words as possible. It also helps to be creative. One of the characters in "Courage Under Fire" is described as a "bureaucratic Hitler." This small two-word phrase creates an unmistakable image in a reader's head. Each reader might conjure up a different vision, but the words force an image nonetheless.
I can't remember the script, but I also read another great character description -- "Rock and roll rebel." Again, four words that conjure up an image. The cool thing is it says nothing about height, hair color, or even race. Opens up the potential part to any actor who can pull off the "attitude" of the character.
I've really tried lately to encapsulate my characters with more "big picture" descriptions rather than physical description minutia. However, I do include physical descriptions if they relate to the plot somehow. For instance, a beanpole of a man would not be able to hang one-armed from the edge of a cliff. Might want to allude to the superior physique of your hero before such an event.
One description I use recently, which I thought was witty read like this:
Short, dark and handsome. A Meatloaf -- "cause two out of three ain't bad."
At least I thought it was clever. Although the "Meatloaf" line will never translate to the screen (and some of you younger folk may not even get the reference) it is something that will stick with the reader. Figured it might reinforce whatever picture a might pop in a reader's head. Some will debate that if it can't go on the screen don't write it. Personally, I think a few SMALL "winks" to the reader are OK. Worked well for Shane Black. And while I can only hope to be 1/10th the writer he is, it never hurts to emulate success.
R
Good stuff!
But character intros are
asides to your narrative, not part of it per se. As such they do not have to comport with present tense or the "show don't tell" dictums of narrative (or "action" if one prefers).
I always liked this one, "Rock and roll arsonist."
Character descriptions in their introductory paragraphs are best fleshed out when the script is finished, because then you know exactly what salient features of them are important to the story. I usually just throw something in there in a first draft and come back to them when I've got the piece about finished and buff them out, and never include physical errata unless it happens to pertain in some key way to the story, a character has a limp or something, or stutters for example and these attributes have a play. Mainly what we want to do is convey the character's personality traits and attitude or psychological posture.
Narrative ... a different animal, present tense, highly economic, and punchy, filled with energetic verbs and colorful words, and never more than four lines in a paragraph and better of two lines or one.
I always conceive of action paragraphs as describing shots, not always entirely possible but more than one might think at first glance. On average, movies cut every five to eight seconds, just about the time it takes to read a two or three line paragraph. Hence if your action is composed in short, hard hitting paragraphs it begins to read like a movie looks.
It has taken me some years to hone my action writing down, a skill one probably can't acquire overnight. It takes a lot of practice, which means writing three or four or five or six screenplays. Maybe by your sixth it will start to fall into place. I think it is the heart of the art, well, beyond crafting a great story at any rate.
Reading screenplays is probably the best instruction, and emulating the best of them. Word choice and phrasing are crucial.
One mistake I often see involves repetition of things in a scene caption in the first paragraph of narative, for example:
INT JOE'S BAR - NIGHT
Joe's bar is filled with a raucous crowd of ...
Don't make your reader read "Joe's bar" twice in succession. The caption tells us where we are.
One can also conflate detailed descriptions of actions into fewer words that capture the essence of what's going on. Readers can fill in the blanks.
So instead of:
Billy opens the door and gets out of the car.
one can write
Billy gets out of the car.
Does Billy open the door? Of course he does, assuming it's closed in the first place. Do we have to include that step in his action? No.
An action block or paragraph desribes what WE are seeing on the screen
in that beat, it changes with our next paragraph and again with the one that follows, and so on.
Enjoy!
