This is bugging me....

Branwyn · Oct 24, 2006

Is it-- "I'm sorry," she sighed.

OR "I'm sorry." She sighed. I was told you can't sigh dialogue, yet I see it in some books.

"Hi, there," he smiled.
Or "Hi there." He smiled. Same thing here--you can't smile dialogue.

Jamesaritchie · Oct 24, 2006

Branwyn said:
Is it-- "I'm sorry," she sighed.

OR "I'm sorry." She sighed. I was told you can't sigh dialogue, yet I see it in some books.

"Hi, there," he smiled.
Or "Hi there." He smiled. Same thing here--you can't smile dialogue.

Just turn it around or rewrod it. It's true, you can't smile dialogue, and you can't sigh dialogue. Yes, you see it in some books, but is this really a reason to do it yourself?

I tend not to like any version of these things, but if you're going to go with it, then put the smile first. Even He smiled and said "Hi, there."
Or He smiled. "Hi, there," he said.

Branwyn · Oct 24, 2006

I just wanted to know what was correct. It became confusing when I saw it in another book. You know how that goes--look at all these errors and yet they're published--I wanted to double check. I'm actuallygetting better at picking out the errors. And in this book, that I'm reading, there are plenty.

Thanks, James.

K1P1 · Oct 24, 2006

I think it's a question of style and what effect you want it to have on your reader.

"I'm sorry," she sighed.
When I read this I get the impression that the words came out in a sigh - it indicates the expression in her voice as she said them.

"I'm sorry." She sighed.
On the other hand, when I read this, I understand them to be two separate things, happening one after the other. First she says she's sorrry, then she sighs.

So, I guess I believe you can say something while sighing and that you should use which ever one is closest to what you want to express.

On the other hand, I agree that you can't smile dialogue. I'd be more inclined to write something like this:
"Hi, there," he said with a smile.

Branwyn · Oct 24, 2006

"I'm sorry," she sighed.
When I read this I get the impression that the words came out in a sigh - it indicates the expression in her voice as she said them.

That's what I thought, originally.

Bufty · Oct 24, 2006

He smiled. "Hi, there."

Sandi LeFaucheur · Oct 24, 2006

I think you can definitely sigh dialogue. A sigh is an exhalation, and if you speak whilst exhaling--you're sighing the dialogue. The tone of voice is quite different than saying something, then sighing.

And--although I shall be shot down for this--I even think you can smile dialogue, if you speak when you're smiling. Once again, there's a difference between smiling as you say something and smiling afterwards. If you're on the phone to someone who is smiling as they talk, you know it. It's in their voice.

I am now donning my bullet-proof vest and awaiting the barrage of bullets.

Ow! I'm not ready!

FloVoyager · Oct 24, 2006

I agree that you can sigh dialog (or scream or whisper it, for that matter).

"I'm sorry," she sighed.
Works for me.

I also agree that if someone is smiling while speaking, you can usually tell even if you can't see the person. The trick is to word it so it works in print.

"Hi, there," he smiled.
Hmmm.

I like these better:
He smile. "Hi there."
"Hi there." He smiled.
"Hi there," he said, smiling.

TemlynWriting · Oct 25, 2006

Jamesaritchie said:
It's true, you can't smile dialogue, and you can't sigh dialogue.

I've been known to sigh while speaking words. It's not at all uncommon, as I've heard others do it, too.

Scarlett_156 · Oct 25, 2006

I agree-- you can "sigh" words but you can't "smile" them; ex., "I sighed, 'Oh, whatever!' " and "I said smiling (or with a smile), 'Oh, whatever!' "

sammyig · Oct 26, 2006

I always get around it by doing it this way.

"Hello," she said with a smile.

JustinThorne · Oct 26, 2006

"Hello," he said smiling.

Becky Writes · Oct 26, 2006

I, too, believe people can sigh dialogue, but not smile dialogue.

JustinThorne · Oct 26, 2006

I tell you what else I have seen, people laughing dialogue.

"No," he laughed.

Becky Writes · Oct 26, 2006

JustinThorne said:
I tell you what else I have seen, people laughing dialogue.

"No," he laughed.

Can people laugh dialogue?

"You bet," she laughed.
"You bet," she said laughing.

Hmm...the first one sound better to my ears...

JustinThorne · Oct 26, 2006

Sure...

Say "Of course they can," as you laugh...

JustinThorne · Oct 26, 2006

"A, b, c, d, e, f, g," he burped.

:tongue

jpserra · Nov 7, 2006

Branwyn said:
Is it-- "I'm sorry," she sighed.

OR "I'm sorry." She sighed. I was told you can't sigh dialogue, yet I see it in some books.

"Hi, there," he smiled.
Or "Hi there." He smiled. Same thing here--you can't smile dialogue.

Some might consider this a dialogue tag, but in fact, it is an expression of action, not emotion. And your use of the comma might be allowable, only if the dialogue continues. Otherwise, use a period at the end of the brief.

John Serra

ErylRavenwell · Nov 8, 2006

Branwyn said:
Is it-- "I'm sorry," she sighed.

OR "I'm sorry." She sighed. I was told you can't sigh dialogue, yet I see it in some books.

"Hi, there," he smiled.
Or "Hi there." He smiled. Same thing here--you can't smile dialogue.

"I'm sorry," she said sighing.
"I'm sorry," she said, letting out a sigh.
She sighed. "I'm sorry."
Sighing, she said, "I'm sorry."
She let out a sigh. "I'm sorry."

Similarly-
"Hi, there." He greeted him with a smile.
He smiled. "Hi, there."
"Hi, there," he said, a smile creasing his face.

You don't need to always use said/answered etc to terminate a dialogue.

You could do something like that also.

He turned to her--a smile creasing his face. "Hi, there."

or you simply could just write: "Hi, there." (under certain circumstance only.)

But under no circumstance use sighed/smiled in the same way as said/answered/stated/returned etc.

This is bugging me....

Branwyn

Print release:Sept.1,'09

Jamesaritchie

Branwyn

Print release:Sept.1,'09

K1P1

Procrastination is its own reward

Branwyn

Print release:Sept.1,'09

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Sandi LeFaucheur

FloVoyager

Will write for chocolate

TemlynWriting

The Tony Award-winning

Scarlett_156

asdf

sammyig

Vampire Connoisseur

JustinThorne

www.justinthorne.com

Becky Writes

Go Tarheels!

JustinThorne

www.justinthorne.com

Becky Writes

Go Tarheels!

JustinThorne

www.justinthorne.com

JustinThorne

www.justinthorne.com

jpserra

Recovering Gumshoe

ErylRavenwell