Ever found exactly the right phrase?

Eveningsdawn · Sep 23, 2006

This has happened twice to me in the past month, that I found exactly the right words to describe what I wanted.

Those two phrases were (italicized):

"We walk in wind that tastes of blue,
and is like damp clean cotton
against our skins --
and we walk together."

and

"I love the way your hair
falls around your face,
the way you move
with your cyclone grace..."

Anybody else ever hit just the right words, and known instantly that's what had to be there in the poem?

Nateskate · Sep 23, 2006

There are times I couldn't jar what I was trying to say out with a 2 x 4. There are other times I've looked back and wondered how I could have possibly written a poem I wrote because it was far better than I could have done.

There are other times when things got published and I realized I should have made major changes; but by then it was already set in stone.

Bret · Sep 23, 2006

An attractive woman in line at my bank once asked me what I was wishing for ( I was staring at the Christmas tree)

"Right now? Some mistletoe."

It turned out to be *exactly* the right phrase. Which indeed can be a gratifying experience.

I don't think "we" come up with the right words. I think the right words wander the earth looking for an open ear.

Eveningsdawn · Sep 23, 2006

Bret said:
I don't think "we" come up with the right words. I think the right words wander the earth looking for an open ear.

Yeah. That's why I said that I found exactly the right words. It's not a matter of thinking, it's a matter of opening yourself to what wants you to hear it.

A. Hamilton · Sep 23, 2006

Bret said:
I think the right words wander the earth looking for an open ear.

Now that is something to quote.

A. Hamilton · Sep 23, 2006

Yes Eveningsdawn, it's nice when that happens.
tastes of blue
... like damp clean cotton

sigh*

Godfather · Sep 23, 2006

i think of a perfect line for what i want, and i can't think of anything to go around it, so it lives only in my mind

Ever found exactly the right phrase?

Eveningsdawn

Just Sing.

Nateskate

Bret

Opinionated curmudgeon

Eveningsdawn

Just Sing.

A. Hamilton

here for a minute...catch me?

A. Hamilton

here for a minute...catch me?

Godfather

back door man

Ever found *exactly* the right phrase?

Eveningsdawn

Just Sing.

Nateskate

Bret

Opinionated curmudgeon

Eveningsdawn

Just Sing.

A. Hamilton

here for a minute...catch me?

A. Hamilton

here for a minute...catch me?

Godfather

back door man

Ever found exactly the right phrase?