How to give a really good image to the reader

Imagery, metaphors etc can be a start.

HourglassMemory said:

How can you describe a landscape or a room without exaustingly bombarding the pages with adjectives? How difficult is it to write just a few (and enough) words to make the reader see an image that looks almost like the ones we(writers) imagine it? And HOW do you describe a landscape?

Click to expand...

She stopped short after she stpepped through the gateway and stiffened. Thousands of corroded behemoths littered the starless landscape. Naked rocks glowed in neon, and she could almost hear the mute whistling of gamma rays.

"Not even bacteria live here," said Petrov as he glanced at his analyzer.

"The space ships of the dead aliens," Zadine whispered.


This is how I do it, but it's just a short excerpt from one of my novels.

Paint the images with specific word choices, similes, etc. Strong verbs and nouns that is "visual." Adjectives are usually pointless (especially vague ones like "beautiful" or "vast"). For example: "The wishbone of rivers..." (Mystery of Pittsburgh) is a wonderful image because it's familiar and also vivid. Don't forget the other senses, too (sound, smell, taste, etc.) to complete the imageries.

Other metaphors I have used in my novel:

"...a waterfall of ivy, lilacs and yellow roses..."

"...the ocean is a rolling sheet of shimmering blue silk..."

I use tone as an integral part of describing the scene and usually keep to a few simple sentences. Sometimes I use a single metaphor when appropriate. For example, in a scene where it's supposed to be romantic, a description of the woods would be far different than one where the heroine is fleeing for her life.

Example: The only thing still standing was the stone chimney, pointing to the sky like an adomonishing finger.

The area where I have the hardest time is with the actual geography. I'm directionally disfunctional, and this really becomes a problem with any interaction at all with the setting. Most of the members in my critique group are male, and they get knocked for a loop if they can't map it out right. The worst part is that I can't tell if I'm doing it right or wrong--and it's not something I can learn.

I keep setting detail short and sweet, giving enough detail for the reader to know where he is but without going over the top. I add small details about the setting throughout the scene but don't ever really have a paragraph of solid description. I try to make every detail about the surroundings also support the tone.

If you need to describe a landscape, or really any other setting, it's key to make the scene dynamic. Put action in--make every noun do something, rather than have or be something. Just make sure that this information is both pertinent to the story and engaging to the reader.

Okay, so far no one has mentioned some good elements of description, perhaps the best--sensory detail, and NOT simply the visual. When referring to the 5 senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch, the writer presents detail that is most easily used to create the illusion of reality. Specificity adds to the illusion of reality as well--that is, using concrete, specific nouns rather than abstract nouns.


FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE: Metaphor is a bit stronger than similie, since metaphor says something IS something else, rather than LIKE something else, making sort of a translation for the reader. Exaggeration and hyperbole can add to good description as well, as well as onamatapea, or words that sound like the sound described (buzz, clackety-clack, etc.)

Here's a piece of writing that describes a man's den. See how many sensory details and figurative language it uses. Evaluate this as a piece of description--can you see the room described?



My den in our new house is huge, 21 feet by 15 feet, anything but empty; it could easily pass for a scene from one of those splintered towns along the Gulf coast.

How many books are too many? When you die carrying them all up a flight of stairs, that’s how many.

Newly varnished bookshelves greet my nose when I enter, mixed with the sweet aroma of oil paints in what will be my art corner, and a hint of Carpet Fresh where I dabbed up a stain. A den should contain good smells, manly smells.

The house next door is so close I could reach out the two giant den windows and slap a neighbor who might also be reaching for sunbeams falling into my room and across my leather couch and chair, furniture that firmly embraces my tired old teacher’s carcass.

My new closet organizers are pig-piled with junk I’ve stashed since my teen years: old family photo albums, mementos, antique car models, books too ragged to put out on display, computer guts and other paraphernalia—all kept for reasons only known to my subconscious or from some genetic flaw.

Next to my desk is another bookcase with two shelves on Mark Twain and a shelf of writing reference tomes. A few of these books have grown a rarified dust that clings to my fingers whenever I peer into them.

I listen: a train wails off in the distance, a motorcycle dawdles by with rattle-coughs, and the whining lament of a lawnmower down the block. I’m grateful I don’t have to mow a lawn in this den—though I realize at some point the clutter will have to give way to a vacuum. Still, it’s my space, all mine. Every man needs a den, even if it looks like elephants play roller derby in it.

MikeAngel said:

Okay, so far no one has mentioned some good elements of description, perhaps the best--sensory detail, and NOT simply the visual.

Click to expand...

Read post #4, wise guy.

Don't forget the other senses, too (sound, smell, taste, etc.) to complete the imageries.

Click to expand...

HourglassMemory said:

How can you describe a landscape or a room without exaustingly bombarding the pages with adjectives?

Click to expand...

You don't describe it for its own sake. In a novel, a description of a setting will have a purpose within the scene where the description appears. That purpose guides what to include and what to leave out. If you're writing from a character's point of view, as opposed to a narrator's, mention only what the character would notice, and then only if it's relevant.

It's impossible to transfer your mental images to a reader's mind. If you want an audience to see what you see, don't write a novel. Paint a picture instead.

An article I've found useful in the past is here: http://www.hollylisle.com/fm/Workshops/description.html

This is how I described a jungle scene, as expetrienced from a canoe:

High above us, the trees reached up and curved in to almost touch against the sky, like the dome of a cathedral, leaving a channel of blue through the dark green canopy. The light itself was green and cool, scented by creekwater and saturated with the tang of moist earth and rotting leaves, moss and marsh and mould, acrid with beetle-juice and sweet with fermentation. Sound and stillness surrounded us, stillness so deep it could not be disturbed by sound. The constant high-pitched chirp of insects, punctuated by the rhythmic tinkle of oars and the occasional parrot squawk , seemed merely to scratch the surface of that silence.

Click to expand...

Make it significant. Paint it with conflict. Landscapes are more interesting if they are e.g. under threat, or conceal enemies.
(Rant here:http://zornhau.livejournal.com/52916.html)