How not to butcher a love scene

DamaNegra · Mar 29, 2006

Any particular advice regarding how to write a love scene? Not in a thorough sexual way, but the tender-kissing sort of scene. I mean, I'm kind of shy and clumsy in writing things like that so does anyone have advice for me there?

Linda Adams · Mar 29, 2006

Try looking at the Romantic Times Web site at http://www.romantictimes.com They have a lot of articles for writers up on the subject.

veinglory · Mar 29, 2006

Ultimately I think the key is to realise that intimate scenes are not different from any other event in a story and approach them the same way.

pdr · Mar 29, 2006

Try...

Slowly and carefully, with exactly the right words. Less is better than more as far as words go and use more of the senses than just touch!

citymouse · Mar 29, 2006

You don't mention the ages of the lovers or how much exposure (no pun) they've had or their experience level. If they are new to love making then make their reactions would be fumbling. For example this is a scene between teens. Claerly they are both virgins. Also it should be noted that while I recognize teen sex is commom I do not condone it.

As he turned he accidentally brushed against her breast just as she stepped away. Face red with clumsy excitement, he stammered, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, I didn’t mind,” she said with a smile.

Colin looked at Alexandra for a long moment.

“I’ve never been this close to a girl before— Alone… I mean,” he murmured.

Alexandra echoed Colin’s shy confession, “I’ve never been this close to a boy before —Alone, I mean.”

“Yeah… Umm… Zan?”

“Yes,” she said, eagerly.

“Do you like me?”

She giggled. “Of course I like you!”

“I didn’t mean like that.”

Colin stammered the words, “—I mean do you like, like me.”

Momentarily puzzled by his words and her own feelings, Alexandra looked down trying to hide the uncertainty that she knew her eyes would betray. She had never liked boys before, except as friends, but Colin was different. He was kind, and he made her feel that what ever she had to say was the most important thing he was going to hear that day. He was funny too. Before she met him, Alexandra had concluded that boys were funny in a stupid way. Colin made her laugh in a good way. Then there was the desire to see him naked, to feel his skin against hers, to taste his kisses—the real kind… and more. She had fantasized about it since their first meeting.

“I suppose this is what love is supposed feel like,” she thought.

Alexandra blushed, lifted her head, paused to catch her breath and looked into his eyes.

“Yes, Colin. I like, like you.”

Colin exhaled a long held breath; his voice trembled with a combination of anxiety and relief.

“I’m glad. I like you too,” he said.

Somewhere downstairs a clock chimed two bells.

“Now what do I do?” he wondered.

Alexandra waited patiently, wondering too if something was expected of her.

The two stood gazing into one another’s eyes as Colin reached out his hand waiting for an eternity counted off in heart beats; not knowing if Alexandra noticed the gesture or if she would respond. Suddenly, he felt her soft hand slip into his damp palm. He gave an instinctive tug and she inched forward against his chest.

“Your hand is sweaty,” she said.

“I’m sweaty all over…. I’m sorry.”

“I think guys are supposed to be hot all over.”

“What about girls?”

“Girls too.”

Colin nuzzled his lips against Alexandra’s slender neck.

“You smell good.”

“Tender Touch.”

“Thanks.”

“No. I mean that’s the name of my perfume.”

Colin’s face clouded an embarrassed red.

DamaNegra · Mar 29, 2006

The scene is between two adults, so they are not fumbling teenagers anymore

Also, perhaps I should mention that one of the characters is blind, so the sense of tact is the most important to her, after all, it's the only way she can 'see' the world (and the guy) so the 'don't overuse touch' will just make things hard for me.

Stew21 · Mar 29, 2006

DamaNegra said:
The scene is between two adults, so they are not fumbling teenagers anymore

Also, perhaps I should mention that one of the characters is blind, so the sense of tact is the most important to her, after all, it's the only way she can 'see' the world (and the guy) so the 'don't overuse touch' will just make things hard for me.

well she can still smell, taste and hear, so you can use those senses as well. I think just as in actual sex

, the lead up and anticipation are key things. Your readers will want that same feeling of anticipation. Focus on those things. The actual "act" of their encounter may not need be longer than a paragraph or two after you have captured the anticipation, setting the stage, running through emotion, first touch, thoughts, etc. If you don't want to describe in much detail the physical acts involved in your scene, you may want to focus on internal dialogue of your character.

Anitraka · Mar 29, 2006

When I write a love scene. I put myself in the spot so I get the feelings and thoughts.

banjo · Mar 30, 2006

I like Stew 21's answer. But I don't necessarily abbreviate the sexual portion of the scene. After all it's a love scene, so I like to show it in as much depth and detail as needed, while not being overly gratuitous.

If the story is a Romance or that is a major part of the story, I'd develop it more than I would, if say, it involved a guy who just got out of prison an whose purpose was essentially relelief.

In the case of a tender romantic type of love scene it would be necessary to relate the scene and sensations, the emotions and anticipation, the urgency and reservations, and of course the dialogue. Everythig that you or your partner would experience in that situation.

Stew21 · Mar 30, 2006

banjo said:
After all it's a love scene, so I like to show it in as much depth and detail as needed, while not being overly gratuitous.

Banjo, you said this better than I did. I was going for non-gratuitous.

But the lead in to this scene really is crucial. and consider it is a love scene because of the emotion, otherwise its a sex scene.
Focus strongly on emotion and how they convey it to one another. That's the heart of it.

badducky · Mar 30, 2006

I think you clearly need to practice with your partner, stopping every fifteen minutes to write what you just did, then seek feedback from your partner, and more practice.

This is one of those rare cases where I think writing with a partner will help.

Rr... Maybe not help. But it sure is fun!

alleycat · Mar 30, 2006

My only "little bit of advice" is similar to veinglory's: write it as you own scene, not like other love scenes you're read or seen in a movie. Dump the cliches (no "heaving bosoms" or ". . . he felt the fire of passion welling within his loins. ..")

ac

Shadow_Ferret · Mar 30, 2006

DamaNegra said:
so the 'don't overuse touch' will just make things hard for me.

*tries his best to avoid the obvious double-entendre*

I'd say just play with it.... um, the scene. Close your own eyes and image what it must be like for a blind person. As stew21 said, focus on the remaining senses.

I wrote a scene from a blind person's perspective, a walk in the park, and I wrote the entire thing without mentioning he was blind, described the smells of newly cut grass, the feel of the sun and wind on his face, the sounds of the water rippling across a pond, and didn't reveal he was blind until the end.

Love scenes aren't much more difficult than "seeing" things as a blind person would, I don't think. Just imagine two people who care deeply about each other discovering this aspect of their relationship. How you think they'd react to each other, the hesitant touches, the cautious embrace, the warmth of skin on skin...

ChunkyC · Mar 30, 2006

The best advice I ever got on writing a love scene was to leave out the mechanics. Anyone who has ever had sex, watched an x-rated video, or even paid attention in sex-ed in school, knows where the naughty bits go. You'll end up with a much more compelling scene if you pay attention to the emotional responses of your POV character.

banjo · Mar 31, 2006

badducky said:
I think you clearly need to practice with your partner, stopping every fifteen minutes to write what you just did, then seek feedback from your partner, and more practice.

This is one of those rare cases where I think writing with a partner will help.

Rr... Maybe not help. But it sure is fun!

Badducky, if you did all your practice in advance, er...I mean research... then you could just write through without stopping. Oh I suppose if there was a part in which you chose to verify your research, you could pause to practice...er..research...just a little more just to be certain that you had all your "facts" correct. I dont' see how that could hurt, besides it would certainly amuse

your muse.

I find that the very best love scenes are writen by the very best lovers who are also great writers. I have a wonderful mystery in mind that was most satisfying, except that the heterosexual loves scenes left something to be desired. This was most likely because the author had so little personal experience doing such scenes. I somehow wish he had called me in to ghost write those scenes for him, :kiss:

the the story would have then, been perfect. :roll:

omega12596 · Mar 31, 2006

I have to agree with ac, DamaNegra. Since you said it's a soft scene, I'm guessing that this isn't strict romance. In which case, I HIGHLY suggest you follow her advice and drop the cliches.

I'm a published erotica author, so I'm probably not the best to give my POV on soft sex in a work, LMAO, but avoiding descriptors that sound trite, or worse, like you're ashamed to even put it in the book, is the best advice you can get.

Glenda · Apr 1, 2006

badducky said:
I think you clearly need to practice with your partner, stopping every fifteen minutes to write what you just did, then seek feedback from your partner, and more practice.

This is one of those rare cases where I think writing with a partner will help.

Rr... Maybe not help. But it sure is fun!

This struck me so funny.

bylinebree · Apr 1, 2006

I ditto the funny! Now there's taking role-playing to a very practical extreme.

I do use role-playing, exploring scene from both viewpoints usually before I write it --and some in rewriting. Usually keep the door locked when I'm doing this and music on, so my kids won't think things are getting weirder than they already are, ha

Avoid cliches, use imagination and dive into the characters deep feelings, not just the physical act.

aruna · Apr 2, 2006

ChunkyC said:
The best advice I ever got on writing a love scene was to leave out the mechanics. Anyone who has ever had sex, watched an x-rated video, or even paid attention in sex-ed in school, knows where the naughty bits go. You'll end up with a much more compelling scene if you pay attention to the emotional responses of your POV character.

I agree with Chunky. If it's a love (as opposed to sex) scene then focus on the emotion, not on what they actually "do". That's boring. It's how they feel for each other that counts here. Nor all the writheing, arching, thrusting in the world can disclose that. This is one of those cases where less is more - especially since one of them is blind.

LloydBrown · Apr 2, 2006

DamaNegra said:
Any particular advice regarding how to write a love scene? Not in a thorough sexual way, but the tender-kissing sort of scene. I mean, I'm kind of shy and clumsy in writing things like that so does anyone have advice for me there?

Read Atlanta Nights for clues on what not to do.

maestrowork · Apr 2, 2006

Or read Tom Wolfe's latest novel to see what not to do...

How not to butcher a love scene

DamaNegra

Mexican on the loose!

Linda Adams

Soldier, Storyteller

veinglory

volitare nequeo

pdr

citymouse

fantasy dweller

DamaNegra

Mexican on the loose!

Stew21

Anitraka

banjo

Stew21

badducky

No Time For Chitchat, Kemosabe.

alleycat

Still around

Shadow_Ferret

Court Jester

ChunkyC

It's hard being green

banjo

omega12596

New kid, be gentle!

Glenda

bylinebree

Still Seeking the Dream

aruna

On a wing and a prayer

LloydBrown

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray