With apologies, a query.

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

So, I'll start off with an apology for the manner of my query posting earlier. Aside from the quite blatant and obvious fact that I had no understanding of what was required, my thanks for the many, many lines of red text. I've read the stickies now, by the way, and quite thoroughly perused QueryShark. The query has been quite thoroughly re-worked. But that's irrelevant for now.

I know that what's required in a query letter can vary, and that opinions on structure/format is somewhat divided, but based on what I've read on QS, I have some confusion. QueryShark seems to be a pretty strong advocate of a query being composed of information about the story; characters, setting, goals, stakes etc, whereas some of the stuff I've seen in the stickies, including a link from the Nathan Bransford which links to a query letter differing quite significantly from those on QueryShark, insofar as she writes about the story briefly, elaborates on the plot, setting etc and then goes on to do a writer bio.

The agent I intend to write to asks only for a synopsis and three sample chapters, which leads me to assume that the body of the email is going to be a cover/query letter. So, whilst I am by no means done researching, I really just need some pointers to focus my search. If, as he has, he has asked for a synopsis (3-4 pages in my case) and 3 sample chapters, what then should I include in my query/cover letter?

Katrina S. Forest · Jun 18, 2013

Forgive my skepticism, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that "thoroughly perusing" Query Shark, going through the stickies, and completing a significant revision of your last query in less than ten hours since you posted the first one seems a bit... unrealistic.

It's great that you're still researching and not posting the new query yet, but seriously, slow down. Do a couple revisions, give yourself some distance, and come back to them in a few days.

To answer your question, a query is always included with a submission to an agent. The synopsis and the first three chapters are what you'd include in addition to the query. (Four pages is also long for a synopsis. In most cases, they're no more than two.)

EMaree · Jun 18, 2013

You're querying in the UK, right? Our format varies slightly from the US, and you're following US guides. Give Nicola Morgan's books a read ("Dear Agent" and "Write a Great Synopsis" are fairly small e-books, "Write to Be Published" is a longer read), her advice is tailored more to our side of the pond.

UK format is hard to describe, but I've had good luck with a more 'formal' and letter-like version of the US query letter.

The Writers' and Artists' Yearbook 2011 edition (a highly recommended book, though of course my editions a bit outdated -- your local library should have a copy) has some nice examples of good and bad queries. I won't quote that, but I'll break down the format I used:

Salutation,

Please may I send you NOVEL TITLE, one paragraph summary of story. [A trimmed down version of your US-style query. Super trimmed down. A lot of sources (From Pitch to Publication, Dear Agent) recommend to try and get this down to one sentence though I had luck with a longer summary.]

Personal bio, focussing on your publication experience.

Polite sign-off, with the word count here if you haven't already said it.

Kind regards,

Your name.

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

QueryShark was pretty interesting reading, so that wasn't too much of a chore at all, but yeah, though I read the first few pages of the stickies and browsed a bunch of links, I've not done much else aside from that. When I say a complete revision, it's not much of a stretch considering how lacking my original was. 10 hours is a lot of time, and getting a rough draft takes about 15 minutes. So, there's that. I do understand your reservations though.

The question though, was what to include, considering I have seen queries which are largely abridged synopses, like those on QS, with details on character, plot, setting, and others which are combination of story and writer bio, I've also seen some with people saying 'readers of so-and-so would relate to this,' and others saying not to do that. So I'm looking for a bit of clarification.

P.S. EMaree, thanks for the post, that makes things a bit clearer. My understanding is that QueryShark is American, too? So perhaps that is where my confusion stems from.

EMaree · Jun 18, 2013

Aye, Queryshark and Nathan's site are both American.

Like I said, my advice only applies if you're submitting UK-side. If you're submitting to US agencies disregard it, I just thought due to your location you might be running into UK-style guidelines (covering letter, synopsis and 1-3 chapters, much less focus on a query and more focus on the synopsis).

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

Aye, UK all the way.

Hence my confusion then, I think, because I was getting a distinctly 'synopsis' vibe from the QS posts. But, since I'm including a synopsis in the e-mail, I'd assume the query itself would be a much for focused, short version of the synopsis, and since I don't have all that much (or any) publication history, the cover letter should, I think, be fairly concise and succinct. Do you, per chance, know if there are any posts around here that refer to UK cover letters? Aside from QLH, obviously, perhaps there are UK examples buried in there somewhere?

EMaree · Jun 18, 2013

The synopsis Queryshark refers to is the plot summary in the query, about 250 words, three paragraphs or so.

The synopsis most UK agents request runs one - two pages, single spaced, and covers your book from start to finish. (Some US agents want this too -- they usually refer to a 'two page synopsis' or 'a full synopsis' in these cases, I think, but it's been a while).

There can be tricky to do. Query Letter Hell here has a few useful synopsis critiques, and as well as her book about synopsis writing Nicola Morgan critiqued a few on her old blog -- I found that link very useful.

For UK covering letter examples, aside from the Writers' & Artists' examples I'm not sure where you can find them. I'll PM you mine, though it's not any kind of shining example.

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

That's brilliant, thank you. Anything that helps me get a solid idea of formatting on this side of the pond is endlessly appreciated.

waylander · Jun 18, 2013

UK covering letters don't need to do much more than give wordcount and indentify genre. The writing sample is there to do the real work, and then if they like that, the synopsis.

What genre are you querying?

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

I'm querying high fantasy. When you say writing sample, what are you referring to? The abridged info in the letter?

Cyia · Jun 18, 2013

A query "synopsis" doesn't mean the 3-4 page version an agent might request later. It's just a paragraph or two encapsulating the novel's main plot, such as you might see on the back of the book.

(Oops - EMaree beat me to it.)

As unhelpful as this may sound - all you really need to do is capture the agent's attention so they want to read more. How you do it for one might not work with someone else.

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

I've just been reading a comparison between synopses and back-cover-blurbs, and I'm inclined to err away from trying to imitate blurbs too much. As you say though, it's a case of catching an agents attention, once I've got a solid idea on structure, I'll give it a go and post it anew, with fingers crossed.

waylander · Jun 18, 2013

KPLanyon said:
I'm querying high fantasy. When you say writing sample, what are you referring to? The abridged info in the letter?

The writing sample is the three chapters you are sending along with this letter.
The best list of UK SF/F agents is here: http://www.t-party.org.uk/?page_id=493

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

Oh yeah, right duh. I had wondered whether they would read the sample first, or the synopsis.

Thanks Waylander, you're a gent, that link is great. Going to be dishing out for full sub on W&A, so that'll give me a nice place to start.

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

I suppose it might also be a good idea to ask what I should include as a writer's bio, since I've not had anything published and it's no great secret that I love writing, since I'm writing and all. At this point, what exactly does the agent need or want to know about me?

EMaree · Jun 18, 2013

KPLanyon said:
I've just been reading a comparison between synopses and back-cover-blurbs, and I'm inclined to err away from trying to imitate blurbs too much. As you say though, it's a case of catching an agents attention, once I've got a solid idea on structure, I'll give it a go and post it anew, with fingers crossed.

I think you already know this, but just in case: the blurb comparison only works for query synopsis/plot summaries.

A 1-2 page full plot synopsis wouldn't be comparable to a back cover blurb.

(Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, it's getting late. I'm off to bed after this post.)

waylander said:
The writing sample is the three chapters you are sending along with this letter.
The best list of UK SF/F agents is here: http://www.t-party.org.uk/?page_id=493

Ah, I keep losing this awesome link. *adds to bookmarks*

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

This was posted elsewhere. Is it a fair guess to say no more or less than that? And since I have little to say on any of those things, that I'm uninteresting bore with no marketability?

Writer Questions
Writing credits?
Education?
Unusual jobs, travel, relationships?
Background bearing on writing/story?
Sexy hook in your life? (sins, triumphs, travails)
What’s promotable about you?

the 1-2 page synopsis is another mindbender, since I'm writing for several central characters. I figure I'll just write for one character and call the others 'secondary' for the time being.

Okay, so this is what I've gleaned so far.

Salutations

I would like to submit *title* *genre* *word count*

Brief about character and setting(?) what does he want, how does he get it, what happens if he fails?

Brief about story - theme, tone, general outline of plot

Brief about me - I have to assume that he will assume I'm a fan of fantasy, that I've been reading/writing fantasy for most of my life, so I'll keep this bit short.

Thank you for your consideration,

Regards,

Me.

waylander · Jun 18, 2013

KPLanyon said:
I suppose it might also be a good idea to ask what I should include as a writer's bio, since I've not had anything published and it's no great secret that I love writing, since I'm writing and all. At this point, what exactly does the agent need or want to know about me?

Easier to think of stuff that you don't say: "my mother loves this book" "Its better than Game of Thrones" "I want a hundred thousand pounds minimum advance" "I want to quit my job and write full-time"

Just say how old you are, mention your job status (this is relevant to how much time you may be able to put into writing to deadline) and thank them for their time.

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

By the old gods and the new, is anything better than Game of Thrones. I find it hard to believe anyone says 'my mum says its better than anything out there'. Then I'm sad because I know they do.

waylander · Jun 18, 2013

KPLanyon said:
I find it hard to believe anyone says 'my mum says its better than anything out there'. Then I'm sad because I know they do.

Oh they do.
Having had a recent talk from an editor at a major UK house, I can assure you these horrors from the slushpile exist (a 200k epic about sentient vegetables!!).
That's the least of your worries - most of what they get is just not very good, what you're competing against for landing an agent is the top 2% of the submissions.

KPLanyon · Jun 18, 2013

Yeah, that top 2%. Boy, climbing the ladder should be fun. I'm in a good position though, in so far as I'm confident in my ability. I'm less confident, however, in conveying that in such limited space as a 2 page synopsis. Though I've resolved to take out everything that doesn't pertain to the central protagonist, which I know is the point, I just had some quandaries with regards to other characters which I had considered to be central.

Thanks for your help Waylander & Emaree, you've been thoroughly insightful. With some more research into examples and etiquette, I'll hopefully have something new to post by the weekend. I hope to do your tutelage proud.

quicklime · Jun 18, 2013

KPLanyon said:
This was posted elsewhere. Is it a fair guess to say no more or less than that? And since I have little to say on any of those things, that I'm uninteresting bore with no marketability?

Writer Questions
Writing credits?
Education?
Unusual jobs, travel, relationships?
Background bearing on writing/story?
Sexy hook in your life? (sins, triumphs, travails)
What’s promotable about you?

.

no.

you write well. I had an agent ask me about pages off a single line. I don't think she was 100% serious, but I also don't think she was 100% joking. One of the most incredible days of my life, and I didn't even have a story.

But I have no sex-hooks (they freak girls out), I'm a glorified phone-jockey in a field not known for non-sterile, engaging writing, etc.....I wrote a line she liked....that was all.

You can have no qualifications and still write well, or three MFAs and write poorly. the writing is the part that sells.

cornflake · Jun 18, 2013

KPLanyon said:
Yeah, that top 2%. Boy, climbing the ladder should be fun. I'm in a good position though, in so far as I'm confident in my ability. I'm less confident, however, in conveying that in such limited space as a 2 page synopsis. Though I've resolved to take out everything that doesn't pertain to the central protagonist, which I know is the point, I just had some quandaries with regards to other characters which I had considered to be central.

Thanks for your help Waylander & Emaree, you've been thoroughly insightful. With some more research into examples and etiquette, I'll hopefully have something new to post by the weekend. I hope to do your tutelage proud.

No, that's not the point. That's the point in a query, not a synopsis.

Cyia · Jun 18, 2013

You're over thinking this - seriously.

Dear [agent name].

[Main character] does/wants something, but [tragedy/disaster] is keeping him/her from it. When s/he [reacts] something worse happens. Now, if s/he doesn't [goal] then [consequence].

MY REALLY AWESOME TITLE is a [word count] [genre] novel.

I have included [specified sample size] at the bottom of this correspondence, and can provide a detailed synopsis, chapter outlines, or additional pages upon request.

Sincerely,

You

The only parts that really matter are the plot, word count and genre, the rest is all presentation and window dressing. If you can get your point across in 300 words - great. If you can do it in 100 words - great. Just make it clear and concise and let your story speak for itself.

quicklime · Jun 18, 2013

KPLanyon said:
By the old gods and the new, is anything better than Game of Thrones. I find it hard to believe anyone says 'my mum says its better than anything out there'. Then I'm sad because I know they do.

well, see, here's where you want to be careful. You may not like Game of Thrones, but maybe the agnet you pitched to does. Or a close colleague of theirs does. You just made yourself a dick in your own pitch.

Sell YOUR story. Don't devalue, or sell, someone else's. Just do your own.

With apologies, a query.

Learning to Swim

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Learning to Swim

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