How do you respond to this?

Status
Not open for further replies.

Muppster

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 10, 2013
Messages
355
Reaction score
148
Not exactly a writing-related question (but it’s bugging me while I should be writing ;)). Work’s had a diversity drive and started an LGBT network, and in response lunchtime conversation went down this sort of path:

“It’s not a problem here/we’re not homophobic, why do you need an LGBT network?”

Is that ever a valid argument?
 

Roxxsmom

Raised by Wolves
Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
25,111
Reaction score
16,320
Location
Where faults collide
It sounds like this argument is along the lines of some of the guys I went to college with asking: "Why isn't there a club for male engineering students?"

Fact is, everyone is part of many networks in their lives. Active discrimination against a group you belong to is one thing that can foster a need to build a group or network, but often people simply want to spend some of their time in environments where they aren't in the minority, where they can be around people who can relate to many of the same issues as they do. Even if people who do not share a given trait are not actively discriminating.

It doesn't seem like a tough concept to grasp, but some people seem to have trouble with it.
 

Moldy

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 18, 2013
Messages
73
Reaction score
3
Location
U.S
“It’s not a problem here/we’re not homophobic, why do you need an LGBT network?”

Not a valid argument, but maybe a valid question with a valid answer.

If a workplace doesn't have a problem with homophobia, why should it have a LGBT network?

Because most of the world does have a problem with it, so its good to show people that their workplace is a welcoming place for LGBT people. Without such a network, or other overt signs of open-mindedness, it's likely that some LGBT employees will just assume their workplace is a relatively hostile place like the rest of the world, where they may feel uncomfortable talking about their spouses and LGBT issues.

LGBT workers may need additional support because of issues outside the workplace. There's no reason why a workplace network can't help fulfill that need.

Really though, I highly doubt there is many legitimately problem-free workplaces; more likely, being cis straight people, they're just not aware of them.
 

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 18, 2007
Messages
38,197
Reaction score
4,544
Location
The End of the World
"And since you're not homophobic, you shouldn't have a problem with us having an LGBT network, right?"

"But why do we need one?"

"Because you have to ask."
 

DancingMaenid

New kid...seven years ago!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 7, 2007
Messages
5,058
Reaction score
460
Location
United States
I don't think everyone who asks questions like that is necessarily homophobic, but I think it shows heterosexist thinking and lack of understanding of why people in minority groups often need or value support like this.

And occasionally, questions like these do seem to stem from covert homophobia. It's like when people say, "Why don't we have a white history month?" A lot of times, I get the sense that people who ask that question really are racist.

But I also think that a lot of people, often innocently, vastly underestimate the amount of prejudice that still exists in the world. They see women holding full-time jobs and working in the government and don't realize that there's still sexism. They see gay characters on TV and assume that being gay is no big deal anymore.

I like kuwisdelu's response. I'm not sure what else I would say to a remark like this, without going into a long spiel. I think I would say that the company's willingness to support its LGBT employees in this way helps show its commitment to diversity, which will make many LGBT employees (and prospective employees) feel more comfortable. Many of us enter new jobs concerned about how out we will be able to be. I would say that even if anti-LGBT discrimination may not be a big problem at this company, it's still something that's been a constant presence in some of our lives, having professional networks is valuable.
 

Kim Fierce

Attack me with everything you have.
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 18, 2011
Messages
1,366
Reaction score
129
Location
Indiana
Website
kimnflowers.blogspot.com
And occasionally, questions like these do seem to stem from covert homophobia. It's like when people say, "Why don't we have a white history month?" A lot of times, I get the sense that people who ask that question really are racist.

.

I do too. I do know one person who actually just seems to be that ignorant, and I have tried to educate this person. I am not even going to describe the person, even with gender-specific pronouns, because in this case I don't believe it to be racism, just sad.
 

Muppster

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 10, 2013
Messages
355
Reaction score
148
@kuwisdelu yes, exactly so. I've been in places where there was such a "You don't need this, there are loads of you [gays] here!" that it was pretty clear there was a problem.

Co-worker's "but whyfor?" response is pretty indicative of the level of ignorance. Not in a malicious or homophobic way, just a complete lack of understanding of what the problem could be. Add that genuine historic (till terrifyingly recently, potentially still now if they feel it's blackmail material) precedent of slinging you out the door for being gay (Alan Turing stylee), there are many of a certain generation who view gay as not-a-subject-for-this-work-place.
 

Deleted member 42

Because there are issues around wills, dating, wedding planning, child care, churches, health insurance, buying a house, adoption and many others that don't affect hetero couples or individuals the same way, and finding resources and sharing them is efficient and helpful, as is support from people who have already gone thorough the thing you're currently struggling with.

I would suggest allowing non-queer folk to join as allies, for a number of reasons, including avoiding being sued. Moreover, they may have family members that could use their support, or professional expertise that could be helpful.

And who doesn't want more allies/friends?
 

Dave.C.Robinson

... with the High Command
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 5, 2006
Messages
2,130
Reaction score
186
Location
At the computer
Website
www.daverobinsonwrites.com
Yeah, I'm with kuwisdelu: If it's not a problem in the workplace, then having a network shouldn't be a problem there either.

As for the need, as Medievalist put it, LGBT people live a different experience than others, and the idea of a network of people who share similar experiences and knowledge only makes sense.
 

Kim Fierce

Attack me with everything you have.
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 18, 2011
Messages
1,366
Reaction score
129
Location
Indiana
Website
kimnflowers.blogspot.com
It is definitely a different experience for me having a (not legal) wife and son to realize just how many obstacles we have overcome just to be where we are. The adoption of my son by my wife, especially. And then getting random questions about how we all have the same last name from strangers such as hospital receptionists, and deciding how much to reveal about my life, if anything, and getting looks from people who are confused by our family unit and are trying to figure it out. Fun!
 

ULTRAGOTHA

Merovingian Superhero
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 17, 2011
Messages
2,467
Reaction score
313
My state has legal marriage. My wife went into hospital via the emergency room a few weeks ago and was utterly unable to even communicate for a day or be rationally coherent for another day and was still tracking just a bit off by the time she was discharged.

All through that, not one single person questioned my right to make medical decisions for her. I did not have to go home and dig up our legal medical power of attorney. (Though they did ask her at the emergency room admissions desk to OK the hospital sharing info with me per HIPAA regulations. Which they would have done with any married couple. She muttered OK but she was muttering OK to everything at that point and I can't call it an informed consent. :rolleyes )

So yeah the hospital and my state for making that just as "easy" for me as for a heterosexual couple.

But there are far, far, too many hospitals that do not do that. I'd have hated to try to navigate those nightmare hours if the hospital was trying to get consent from her daughter half a continent away!
 

frimble3

Heckuva good sport
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 7, 2006
Messages
15,409
Reaction score
14,690
Location
west coast, canada
Not exactly a writing-related question (but it’s bugging me while I should be writing ;)). Work’s had a diversity drive and started an LGBT network, and in response lunchtime conversation went down this sort of path:

“It’s not a problem here/we’re not homophobic, why do you need an LGBT network?”

Is that ever a valid argument?
Just wanted to add to the 'not a valid argument side': maybe there is no problem at your workplace - how is a new employee to know that? Maybe the problems aren't at work, but for many people work is a handy place to find resources, info and, yes, a network.
And seconding: if it's not a problem, why not have an LGBT network? If no-one uses it, well, revisit it, but give it a chance to be useful.

In defence of your co-workers - what is your company like? If this came from some sort of 'diversity drive' maybe they aren't seeing this as a real thing, but as one of several half-baked ideas that's being implemented because someone was at a seminar and has returned to inflict the idea-of-the-week on the hapless employees. It may not be the idea they're objecting to, but the source.
 

chloecomplains

Pinkamena Diane Pie
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
144
Reaction score
15
Location
Atlanta
I'm confused about how this would even affect your coworkers to the point of questioning its existence. If I'm understanding what you mean by LGBT network, I can't see it as having any impact whatsoever on anyone but LBGTs--and anyone aggressively homophobic, which they're claiming not to be.
 

Roxxsmom

Raised by Wolves
Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
25,111
Reaction score
16,320
Location
Where faults collide
I don't think it would have any. I suppose there may be that sense of, "Oh, hey, I thought we were doing a good job of being allies, and now you want to start a network?"

This response fails to address all the excellent reasons people have given for why any group who is underrepresented and under protected (let alone persecuted) by our society would need to connect with others, not necessarily over problems in the workplace (though even good, progressive employers can still have issues) but because there are unique problems that can come up anywhere.


The same thing could be true for any other group of people within the workplace as well.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.