Men in hooded cloaks...

AutumnKQ · May 25, 2013

I'm wondering how you keep the true identity of someone from the reader (and the main characters), without it becoming too contrived, convenient, or it seeming like you are just doing stupid tricks and lying to the reader.

I haven't looked into any mystery tropes, but it seems to me that a person in a hooded cloak in a dark ally (or a mask during a robbery or murder) would be a much-used way to keep the reader and main characters in the dark about who the person is.

What other ways are there?

I'm not writing a mystery, but I have mystery elements. So far, to hide the identity of people I've used...
*electronic messages. Some have identifying numbers next to them, some have no numbers (like IP addresses). The reader can track the numbers through the book to see what each person is up to. But by not giving the standalone messages numbers, I'm cheating a little.
*People wearing uniforms and helmets, so you can't see their faces.
*A smoky scene where the person has a breathing device (or a cloth) on her face.

This probably wouldn't work at all in a movie haha. Are my fixes amateur? Trope-y?

Do you try to hide the identities for a later reveal, or do you end up having POV chapters that show who the antags are?

alleycat · May 25, 2013

Maybe . . . hide him in plain sight (so to speak). He's there, he's in the scenes (or in the shadows), but his true identity isn't known to either the readers or the other characters.

AutumnKQ · May 25, 2013

alleycat said:
Maybe . . . hide him in plain sight (so to speak). He's there, he's in the scenes (or in the shadows), but his true identity isn't known to either the readers or the other characters.

My issue is the two scenes in which a person (two different people, actually) have to directly speak with my protag. If I show what they look like, then when the reader switches to my other POV character, they'll likely guess right away who the shadowy figures were. ;-\ I could keep all communications electronic, but I want to hint enough at who it might be so I'm not just dumping the truth on my readers later. Foreshadowing and all that... I want my readers to have hints to guess with, so they aren't completely in the dark until the reveal(s) near the end of the book. I think it adds to the suspense (or, at the very least, keeps the reader from feeling annoyed that no more clues have been dropped.)

NikiK · May 25, 2013

A hoodie with baseball cap and dark sunglasses can make people hard to identify, especially in dim light. Maybe have them standing with their back towards a bright light with your protagonist facing the light. That would obscure more detail. Bulky coat or jacket to hide their build if necessary. Depends on your setting, too. In cold climates where temperatures stay well below freezing most of the winter, you don't see much of people's faces at all - sometimes just their eyes as you get near them.

AutumnKQ · May 25, 2013

NikiK said:
A hoodie with baseball cap and dark sunglasses can make people hard to identify, especially in dim light. Maybe have them standing with their back towards a bright light with your protagonist facing the light. That would obscure more detail. Bulky coat or jacket to hide their build if necessary. Depends on your setting, too. In cold climates where temperatures stay well below freezing most of the winter, you don't see much of people's faces at all - sometimes just their eyes as you get near them.

far future sci-fi, climate controlled.

I should have specified that. The smoke came from a leaking plant discharge pipe.

Cornelius Gault · May 25, 2013

I have something like this in my WIP and decided that my character was in disguise. So, to everyone else, he was presented as JOHN SMITH and the reader would think of him that way. In my case, nobody discovers who the "real" person behind the disguise.

Even if the person has a hoodie and dark glasses, I think the author can give some visual clues. Perhaps he has a fake moustache, so let the reader see that, but these clues should not make it obvious who the "real" character is behind the disguise. Also, his voice could be disguised and this could be projected to the reader as "a raspy voice" or something to further hide who the person it.

Also, he could fake a limp, etc.

Shakesbear · May 25, 2013

*People wearing uniforms and helmets, so you can't see their faces.
*A smoky scene where the person has a breathing device (or a cloth) on her face.

Hiding a face is not going to be much of a disguise. People can be recognized from all sorts of physical attributes - stance, gait, shape of back, eyes - colour and set, shape of hands, finger nails (long, short, manicured, bitten) and so much else. Using a cloak would be of little use if the characters gait was a give away. Changing the pitch of voice would not necessarily work unless pace and syntax were altered.

Think of the person as a whole - how best to hide obvious physical attributes and how to, if necessary, give new ones. For example if I wanted to give a character a disguise I would think of their most obvious physical trait and start with that - one of my MCs is over six feet tall. I would give him a walking stick that he would have to stoop to use. That would change his gait and the way his body appeared. Instead of being a tall elegant man he is transformed into a bent up human with a stick. It would then become necessary to alter his hair, as it would probably be on eye level. A wig? Nah - I'd go for something that would not be easily displaced - a long rag wound round his head and part under his chin, which would also help to change the shape of his face. Being crouched over would also change how he was able to breath, so his voice would have a breathless quality about it and he would not be able to speak at his normal pace. His eyes might also be a problem, so part of the head covering could be used to shield his eyes.

How to let the reader know? A piece of jewellery? Say a pendant that he tucks away, or a ring that he turns round?

Canotila · May 25, 2013

Shakesbear said:
Hiding a face is not going to be much of a disguise. People can be recognized from all sorts of physical attributes - stance, gait, shape of back, eyes - colour and set, shape of hands, finger nails (long, short, manicured, bitten) and so much else. Using a cloak would be of little use if the characters gait was a give away. Changing the pitch of voice would not necessarily work unless pace and syntax were altered.

Think of the person as a whole - how best to hide obvious physical attributes and how to, if necessary, give new ones. For example if I wanted to give a character a disguise I would think of their most obvious physical trait and start with that - one of my MCs is over six feet tall. I would give him a walking stick that he would have to stoop to use. That would change his gait and the way his body appeared. Instead of being a tall elegant man he is transformed into a bent up human with a stick. It would then become necessary to alter his hair, as it would probably be on eye level. A wig? Nah - I'd go for something that would not be easily displaced - a long rag wound round his head and part under his chin, which would also help to change the shape of his face. Being crouched over would also change how he was able to breath, so his voice would have a breathless quality about it and he would not be able to speak at his normal pace. His eyes might also be a problem, so part of the head covering could be used to shield his eyes.

How to let the reader know? A piece of jewellery? Say a pendant that he tucks away, or a ring that he turns round?

All of this.^ I'm face blind. If you take a photograph of my mom and cut everything out around her face and show me just her face, I can't pick the picture out of a lineup or recognize her as my mom.

However, we went to a rally today with about 600 other people. I was able to recognize many of my individual friends out of a huge crowd of people from 3 blocks away. Faces aren't visible at that distance. I'm probably a little more attuned to non facial cues than most people, but it doesn't take much and there are a lot of features you can tag on a person that identifies them as unique.

lbender · May 26, 2013

There are a number of ways to disguise an individual, as has been said. Think of the Kevin Spacey character in The Ususal Suspects. It wasn't just appearance/limp. Attitude played a major role.

Maryn · May 26, 2013

Some years ago, my boyfriend (now Mr. Maryn) and I attended a Halloween party in costume as mimes. Loose black pants, black turtleneck sweaters, gloves, the traditional makeup, our hair pulled back in ponytails. We did not speak. (We did, however, drink beer and whisper to each other.)

To our amazement and delight, we'd been among our friends for more than two hours before someone recognized me--from my shoes.

Does your set-up for the social mileau include the possibility of a costumed event? The whiteface--whether mime or clown or whatever--could easily keep others from recognizing the person whose identity you wish to remain concealed.

This also reminds me of something I read about, and later read in fiction, a call for employees dressed and groomed to fairly rigid specifics for a one-day job they'd be performing for high pay. The person who'd placed the ad telling applicants where to meet was dressed and groomed the same way when he committed a crime in the area. Witnesses were unable to differentiate him from the others who looked so like him and were perfectly innocent.

Maryn, just throwing ideas out there

Bufty · May 26, 2013

The issue is a matter for the POV character in each case. How observant is he and what does he see? How does he know that what he sees is the truth or just what the person he is talking to wants him to see? It doesn't matter - report what he sees. How or whether or to what extent the POV character even needs to interpret what he sees is your choice and depends upon why he is there.

Is the person to whom he is talking standing in front of him saying Here-study my face? Is he occupied or busy or up a ladder or down a man-hole or carrying bags of coal and ash that make his features indistinct or wearing glasses and a head covering because he's freezing or suffering from a chill or blowing into gloves to keep warm...

Good luck

Russell Secord · May 26, 2013

AutumnKQ said:
far future sci-fi, climate controlled. I should have specified that. The smoke came from a leaking plant discharge pipe.

Sci-fi, that opens it up a good bit. You could have a hologram or an android standing in for the actual person, without giving up the impression that it's a human being. Even today we have voice masking technology, so the bad guy could speak/react with no chance of being identified.

After the meeting the hologram could simply round a corner and disappear. The android could meet with any sort of accident, or fake a heart attack, or use a superhuman ability to avoid scrutiny.

Since you want to drop a clue, however, the stand-in could use a phrase or reference a fact that only the bad guy would use/know.

sitalakshmi · May 27, 2013

This kind of thing is pretty common in thrillers and mysteries. There is a mysterious person with a false name and may appear in disguise. In the end it may turn out that this person is someone the MC sees everyday and is familiar with.
I agree with the person before me who said that the matter of identification actually lies with the POV character.

Men in hooded cloaks...

AutumnKQ

alleycat

Still around

AutumnKQ

NikiK

AutumnKQ

Cornelius Gault

New writer since 07/2012.

Shakesbear

knows a hawk from a handsaw

Canotila

Sever your leg please.

lbender

Maryn

I Tried

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Russell Secord

nearly perfect

sitalakshmi

a mystery fan