Replacing the word "made" or "caused"

c.m.n. said:

I found one of my crutches is to use "made" or "caused" a lot in my ms. How do I rewrite something like this:

"His warm touch made me shiver."


What are some of my options?

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Describe the sensation?

The caress of his rough, warm fingers scattered pinpricks across my skin, and I shivered under his palm.

Or, you know, something better written than that!

c.m.n. said:

"His warm touch made me shiver."

Click to expand...

"His warm touch produced a shiver."

"His warm touch gave me shivers."

"His warm touch brought on a shiver."

"His warm touch reduced me to shivers."

"His warm touch set me to shivering."

"His warm touch induced a shiver."

(Man, I gotta get this guy to touch me!)

Describe what he is doing.

Then simply add - I shivered - provided it's necessary to add that at all.

Over-explaining is the issue.

"I shivered from his warm touch"

"His touch is warm. I shiver." (oh, Bufty said it first)

I feel his warmth as he touches my arm. A shiver races through my body.

It depends on intimacy of the situation. Sometimes I opt for personifying the action:

The gentle drift of his warm touch over my cheek tempted shivers into whispered conversation, all sharing slow, easy smiles that woke in the wake of his play. The only release point they had... the slight parting of my lips and the frustrated sigh of you're being an ass. "I'm late for work, and you're not helping."

But other times, I'll just mess with word order:

My shiver replied to his warm touch.

Or personify both:

His warm touch played a game of kiss-chase with my shiver: he kissed, my shiver chased it.

But sometimes, it's good just to go simple:

His warm touch stole my shiver.