Characters laughing and/or smiling

Triplec224 · Apr 25, 2013

Is there a proper way to show a character laughing or smiling other than saying "XXX laughed" or "XXX smiled"? Re-reading something I wrote recently, it seems like I insert laughter as if I'm trying to tell the reader when he/she should laugh. Take the text below as an example...

“Indeed. A complex organism the human mind is, don’t you agree?" Kemp said.

“Certainly. And one hell of an uncooperative bastard,” Snyder said.

Kemp laughed and set the plastic lobe on his desk. He leaned in and locked his eyes on Snyder’s.

“Yes, that is the problem, isn’t it?” Kemp said.

Should you ever say that a character laughs, or even smiles? I remember something on AW saying that characters who smile too much are creepy.

In the course of two people bantering in real life, there will be laughter, but how do you show that in your writing without forcing it upon the reader?

Bufty · Apr 25, 2013

If it's important to my understanding what is happening that I know the character laughs or smiles, say so - any way you choose.

There are obviously degrees of laughter.

Nothing wrong with the specimen below. I assume you have used it to show an uneasy switch in Kemp's manner from being approachable and easy-going to being more sinister.

Keep in mind that the last piece of dialogue by Kemp should simply be tacked on the end of the previous paragraph and no 'Kemp said' tag is required. Same speaker-same paragraph is as good a guide as any.

Also be careful dialogue tags are placed properly (so the reader knows who the speaker is sooner rather than later) and only if needed. If there's only two folk speaking it isn't necessary to identify each of them every time they speak.

Where grinning and laughing and smiling and nodding and such becomes tedious is when everybody does it all the time for no apparent reason - like idiots. Make sure the gesture has meaning, as in your sample, and if it doesn't mean anything, omit it.

It's fiction- it's not real life, only a simulation - leave out all the boring stuff like nodding, grinning and humming and hawing.

I don't need to know every time characters laugh unless there is a real point to it. If dialogue is funny- I will laugh myself without being told to and assume the character(s) do, too, if it fits the scenario.

Triplec224 said:
Is there a proper way to show a character laughing or smiling other than saying "XXX laughed" or "XXX smiled"? Re-reading something I wrote recently, it seems like I insert laughter as if I'm trying to tell the reader when he/she should laugh. Take the text below as an example...

“Indeed. A complex organism the human mind is, don’t you agree?" Kemp said.

“Certainly. And one hell of an uncooperative bastard,” Snyder said.

Kemp laughed and set the plastic lobe on his desk. He leaned in and locked his eyes on Snyder’s.

“Yes, that is the problem, isn’t it?” Kemp said.

Click to expand...

Should you ever say that a character laughs, or even smiles? I remember something on AW saying that characters who smile too much are creepy.

In the course of two people bantering in real life, there will be laughter, but how do you show that in your writing without forcing it upon the reader?

Princess Marina · Apr 25, 2013

Triplec224 said:
Is there a proper way to show a character laughing or smiling other than saying "XXX laughed" or "XXX smiled"? Re-reading something I wrote recently, it seems like I insert laughter as if I'm trying to tell the reader when he/she should laugh. Take the text below as an example...

[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]

Should you ever say that a character laughs, or even smiles? I remember something on AW saying that characters who smile too much are creepy.

In the course of two people bantering in real life, there will be laughter, but how do you show that in your writing without forcing it upon the reader?

As in everything there is no right or wrong answer. Having your characters smiling, grinning, laughing is normal. If you want to put that across do. My characters chortle, giggle, hold their side and ache, grin, titter, chuckle and any other word I can think of at the time depending on how I see them laughing. I even had one lady whose laugh was like the sound of a mountain stream. If someone says you shouldn't well they may know more than me but a lot of other writers have they characters have a good belly laugh.

If your character frown ,snarl, moan, hiccup, sing, cough. Why shouldn't they laugh. I might leave my characters at the bathroom door to allow them privacy while they use the amenities but otherwise everything they do is fair game.

Triplec224 · Apr 25, 2013

Thanks Bufty and Princess Marina. I believe there are three times throughout the conversation where Kemp laughs. If any jump out at me as unnecessary during the re-write, I will remove.

As for the dialogue tags, I added them in for this post to give it more context. They are not in the story itself.

Chasing the Horizon · Apr 25, 2013

Why in the world wouldn't you show your characters laughing and smiling? Not doing these things would be a potent comment on a character, and if that's not a comment you want to make, then, uh, obviously don't.

Your scene snippet looks natural enough to me. Of course you don't need to show every time someone smiles or laughs, but as long as you're writing it when the characters would actually do it and not forcing it in when you need a beat in the dialogue, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Roxxsmom · Apr 25, 2013

I think anything can get irritating if it's too repetitive. People smile and laugh a lot, but if you're calling attention to it as a narrator (or through your pov character noticing it), I expect it to mean something, to convey a relevant emotion (or else the person will come off as having a nervous tic, which may be all right, but you need to make it clear that's what it is as well).

And there are different ways of laughing and smiling as well. A quick, nervous twitch of a smile is not the same thing as an shit-eating grin (okay, the latter is a cliche, but you know what I mean).

I read a chapter for someone once where the two characters were laughing and smiling every line, and I told the writer they'd better have the serious hots for one another, because I felt like I was in the middle of those old molsen golden ads from the 1970s (they were radio spots with little mini stories and lots of laughing and warm, gushy smiley voices).

ellio · Apr 25, 2013

Do you know what I hate trying to figure out? When a character makes that noise that is the same sound as a scoff but they're laughing. Kind of like they're going "PAH"

That is so damn hard to describe succinctly.

Anyway in answer to your question, yeah I think it's fine to say a character/laughed or smiled. It only becomes an issue when it's unnecessary action for the sake of it. If it's obvious a character is happy then saying that the character is smiling is a little redundant. With laughter, I think that's the sort of thing that often needs to be pointed out, because the reader may not think *said action* warrants laughter. It's important to show that the character does.

Of course, every now and again you get those characters that laugh at everything. For no conceivable reason. That's annoying.

Susan Coffin · Apr 25, 2013

!

There is not a thing wrong with having your characters show emotion. Think about if your characters were not laughing and smiling. You would either have to set the scene up by telling us they were laughing, or you might portray a differ t picture of the scene

BethS · Apr 25, 2013

Triplec224 said:
it seems like I insert laughter as if I'm trying to tell the reader when he/she should laugh.

In the course of two people bantering in real life, there will be laughter, but how do you show that in your writing without forcing it upon the reader?

Try not to have your characters laugh at jokes or one-liners or banter. Let the dialogue speak for itself; it will be far funnier that way. When you have the characters laughing and chortling, this is like elbowing the reader and saying, "Did you get the joke? Huh? Huh? Did you get it?"

The best comedians deliver the funniest lines with a straight face. Same with funny dialogue. Deliver it straight and don't use characters as a laugh-track.

That said, of course your characters will occasionally smile or laugh at something. But if you want something to be funny to the reader, let the dialogue speak for itself.

quicklime · Apr 25, 2013

too much of it, especially a particular turn of phrase, gets noticed...and then distracting...and then annoying. My wife recently mentioned "a smile that didn't go all the way to his eyes" being one of those sort of quirks, in 50 shades....she said it was in there what felt like a hundred times.

That said, you can say he smiled, you can have the other guy call him out on it ("what the fuck are you smiling about?"), you can have the POV character mention it ("Of course the bastard smiled. I wanted to stab him for it.") or you can do a hundred other things....

Shadow_Ferret · Apr 25, 2013

Laughing and smiling are fine. I was grossed out by the idea of locking your eyes. Ick. Seems painful. Do you use a Masterlock?

Mary-ellen D · Apr 25, 2013

Where grinning and laughing and smiling and nodding and such becomes tedious is when everybody does it all the time for no apparent reason - like idiots. Make sure the gesture has meaning, as in your sample, and if it doesn't mean anything, omit it.

Thanks for this. I remember reading a review of a book and the reviewed counted things like how many times the characters whispered, blushed, grinned, etc and made fun of it. The action has to be pertinent to the scene and not something a character does all the time or it is just unreal or creepy.

njmagas · Apr 25, 2013

When I write casually I'm guilty of having my characters laugh or smile at everything that's said.

When I'm writing seriously, however, my characters hardly ever laugh. I think they know if they take things too lightly I'm liable to think they have it easy and thus make them suffer.

Really, it comes down to trying not to be repetitive in my writing. If characters are smiling a lot and they're not high I either reevaluate if these are actually the emotions they're feeling and not just my lazy attempt to fill up space, and if there isn't a better way to get their emotion across.

rwm4768 · Apr 25, 2013

There's nothing wrong with characters laughing and smiling every now and then. Just make sure you don't do it too often. The same goes for nodding and shaking of heads. Sometimes, a dialogue tag is your best option.

WriteMinded · Apr 26, 2013

Characters are a lot like people - hopefully. Some laugh a lot. Some smile a lot. Some go around with idiot grins on their faces. Some are frowners. Some are somber. Mine do a lot of nodding. Yeah, my characters and my people, too.

Mary-ellen D · Apr 26, 2013

^ So true

Jamesaritchie · Apr 26, 2013

If he laughs or smiles, say he laughs or smiles. If he doesn't laugh or smile, don't say he does. YOU create the conditions where he'll laugh or smile, so if there's too much, don't blame the character.

Roxxsmom · Apr 26, 2013

ellio said:
Do you know what I hate trying to figure out? When a character makes that noise that is the same sound as a scoff but they're laughing. Kind of like they're going "PAH"

I tend to call it a huff, chuff or snort, depending on whether the sound is more aspirated, throaty or nasal

If you have a character who laughs or smiles a lot, or who laughs or smiles in an unusual way or in inappropriate situations, it makes sense to have your "pov" character make note of this in some way.

God, there he went with that irritating giggle again...

Mary-ellen D · Apr 26, 2013

Roxxsmom said:
I tend to call it a huff, chuff or snort, depending on whether the sound is more aspirated, throaty or nasal

If you have a character who laughs or smiles a lot, or who laughs or smiles in an unusual way or in inappropriate situations, it makes sense to have your "pov" character make note of this in some way.

God, there he went with that irritating giggle again...

Very good point

lolchemist · Apr 26, 2013

Oh no, of course characters laughing and smiling are fine! They are even fine to show what a creep the character is! Remember Prof. Umbridge in Harry Potter? She was ALWAYS smiling inappropriately while doing awful things to Harry. The smiling just made it even worse! To this day she is one of my most hated book villains, partially because of her smiling! As the author you can control whether a smile is creepy or not. As long as the character smiles or laughs where a normal average person would smile or laugh, you're good!

lolchemist · Apr 26, 2013

rwm4768 said:
There's nothing wrong with characters laughing and smiling every now and then. Just make sure you don't do it too often. The same goes for nodding and shaking of heads. Sometimes, a dialogue tag is your best option.

Add to this list blinking, raising an eyebrow, frowning, sniffing, doing other things with the characters faces.

I read some YA books where someone is blinking or raising an eyebrow every two pages and I just wonder do these authors even realize how obnoxious a human being who keeps raising a single eyebrow at everything they don't agree with can be??

And we ALL blink. We blink all the time. In fact, I just blinked right now. There, I did it again. Why is this a dialog tag??

Dancre · Apr 27, 2013

I like it the way it is. Keep it.

Triplec224 said:
Is there a proper way to show a character laughing or smiling other than saying "XXX laughed" or "XXX smiled"? Re-reading something I wrote recently, it seems like I insert laughter as if I'm trying to tell the reader when he/she should laugh. Take the text below as an example...

[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]

Should you ever say that a character laughs, or even smiles? I remember something on AW saying that characters who smile too much are creepy.

In the course of two people bantering in real life, there will be laughter, but how do you show that in your writing without forcing it upon the reader?

NeuroFizz · Apr 28, 2013

There is nothing wrong with showing emotion through facial and auditory responses. There is a problem when these responses are so frequent it seems the scene consists only of stationary heads jerking and contorting. Too many grins, smiles, frowns, glowers, chuckles, chortles, guffaws, and the like make those stationary heads seem like they have twitchy nervous disorders.

Triplec224 · May 6, 2013

Shadow_Ferret said:
Laughing and smiling are fine. I was grossed out by the idea of locking your eyes. Ick. Seems painful. Do you use a Masterlock?

Thanks for this. Consider that line stricken.

Crescendo2020 · May 6, 2013

As a reader, I would be perfectly fine with the type of dialogue that you offered as an example. If your characters laugh a lot, it may be difficult not to sound redundant, but there are a variety of different layouts for a sentence that can distract from the same words being used. Or you can make the focus of the statement the character's movements rather than the mentioning that 'he/she laughed/smiled.'
I struggle with this probably more than anything. Most of my personal editing is attending to this kind of thing.

Characters laughing and/or smiling

Where have the last ten years gone?

Princess Marina

Blowing in the Wind

Raised by Wolves

a hardback life on an ebook budget

Tell it like it Is

all out of fucks to give

Court Jester

practical experience, FTW

Derailed

Raised by Wolves

Shooting stars.

Shooting stars.

Just have fun.

The grad students did it