One Sided Relationships in YA

Belle_91 · Apr 20, 2013

Hey, does anybody know of any YA stories featuring one-sided relationships? I would like to read some with a hopeful/happy ending (Like maybe the MC gets a different guy/girl). I've read Looking for Alaska which was very good, but all of the other YA I've come across features two love-interests that have the hots for each other.

My story, a retelling of the Little Mermaid, features this, and even though I'm going through this myself (btw it SUCKS) I'd like some more perspectives and reassurance that I'm not alone. (Christ, EVERYONE seems to be getting engaged)

Sorry, that this turned into a kind of rant. It just hasn't been a good night.

At least I know, Mr. Butterfingers will never break my heart.

Violeta · Apr 21, 2013

Soul Screamers has one of the best one-sided relantionships ever, but it takes a while for it to become apparent.

Valkyrie Rising and Hunting Lila also have one-sided relantionships.

Confessions of an Angry Girl features this, too.

Firelight (by Sophie Jordan) has not only one, but two one-sided relationships.

They may not be what you were looking for (you didn't especify much), but it's the best I
could come up with.

I loved reading them. They're hopeful, as you said.

Pammie Simon · Apr 21, 2013

It's not YA, but "Prep" by Curtis Sittenfeld has an interesting take on the one-sided relationship (or at least, on how we view our relationships when we assume they're one-sided). It's set in a boarding school, so while it's not directed at that audience, it still has a very YA feel to it.

Also, are you looking specifically for MC has feelings for OC, OC does not have feelings for MC? Because I've come across several books where the MC has an admirer, but doesn't return the feelings. (Such as the amazing "Divergent" and "Legend"/"Prodigy.")

Belle_91 · Apr 23, 2013

Where the MC has feelings for the OC, but they aren't returned. Thank you!

Blenia · May 1, 2013

Hmm. I can't think of any examples with the main character. Except maybe the first book in the Protector of the Small series by Tamora Pierce. Not one of my favorite books though.

I wonder if it's so uncommon in books because it's so common in real life. Especially in paranormal books right now, writers and readers want (or at least, think they want) happy endings with a bigger than life romance. They don't want the main character to seem undesirable.

I think the fact that people aren't naming off thousands of books is a good sign for you. It means you have an idea that hasn't been overdone, and you can take it in any direction you want.

Best of luck to you, Belle! I'd love to see what you do with the story.

Belle_91 · May 5, 2013

Thanks everyone! I kind of wish it was more common to see in books, because, like Blenia said, we've all been there. I was watching Samantha Barks be interviewed for her role as Eponie in Les Mis, and she was talking about how most girls (and guys too) have had the one-sided relationship. And it's no fun.

KSavoie · May 5, 2013

Violeta said:
Soul Screamers has one of the best one-sided relantionships ever, but it takes a while for it to become apparent.

Apparently I'm not far enough in yet! That stinks cause I really like their relationship!

Belle_91 · May 14, 2013

Thanks for all of the recommendations. I have another question though: Has anyone else built up a person in their head? For example there's a cute guy or girl that you notice in one of your classes or at work, and you kind of build them up in your head? You daydream about being together and taking long romantic walks on the beach and whatnot...Sadly, I did do this last year, but I was wondering if anyone had done something similar like when they were in their teens?

As you know in The Little Mermaid, the mermaid sacrifices everything for a human boy she doesn't even know. My MC has done this, and while I want readers to see she made a mistake, I also want them to root for her. I'm kind of afraid I've turned her into a stalker lol.

AlwaysJuly · May 14, 2013

I've sort of done that. I mean, I knew the guy, we went out (well, really, we stayed in), but I built him up into so much more in my head. I think it's not uncommon (or so I tell myself). I made an absolute ass of myself and he was so not worth it.

I like one sided love stories-- yours sounds interesting.

Kim Fierce · May 14, 2013

I have a short story with this as the main topic called "My Secret Pain" that will be published in August. My MC is secretly gay, and his best friend is secretly a lesbian. They both plan a devious double date to try to get the attention of their crushes.

It does not go as planned!

southbel · May 14, 2013

Belle_91 said:
Thanks for all of the recommendations. I have another question though: Has anyone else built up a person in their head? For example there's a cute guy or girl that you notice in one of your classes or at work, and you kind of build them up in your head? You daydream about being together and taking long romantic walks on the beach and whatnot...Sadly, I did do this last year, but I was wondering if anyone had done something similar like when they were in their teens?

As you know in The Little Mermaid, the mermaid sacrifices everything for a human boy she doesn't even know. My MC has done this, and while I want readers to see she made a mistake, I also want them to root for her. I'm kind of afraid I've turned her into a stalker lol.

Yes! In fact almost every guy I dated in high school was that. I was that girl that always, always picked the wrong guy but I was too blind to see his faults (even when they were VERY obvious). Instead, I would picture him as some version of himself that simply didn't exist. I imagined once he came to realize how much I loved him and he me, that he would magically transform into my 'dream guy'.

Probably why, when I was older, I was so completely the opposite. When my husband asked me to marry him, the first thing out of my mouth was "Are you sure about that?" He, knowing me well, just laughed and then had to convince me that yes, he actually did want to marry me.

Emmet Cameron · May 19, 2013

Stardust, by Neil Gaiman. Kid literally sets off to catch a star for a girl who's engaged to another man. Girl at Sea, by Maureen Johnson. Girl reluctantly gets dragged on a seafaring adventure while mooning over an unavailable guy back home.

There's a one-and-a-half sided relationship in the last third of Cg (side A is crazy for side B, side B gives it a whirl because what the hey and...nah), and a more central and totally one-sided relationship running through LoMB. Funny, until you brought it up it hadn't occurred to me that there was a dearth of these in print. I guess I wasn't concerned about it because I have entirely too much personal experience to write from, on both sides.

kuwisdelu · May 19, 2013

Emmet Cameron said:
Stardust, by Neil Gaiman. Kid literally sets off to catch a star for a girl who's engaged to another man.

Hot damn, I'm gonna have to read this one now.

RaggedEdge · May 22, 2013

Belle_91 said:
Has anyone else built up a person in their head? For example there's a cute guy or girl that you notice in one of your classes or at work, and you kind of build them up in your head?

Yes, me and all my friends when we were teens (and we're all married and middle aged now). It was excruciating at the time but now it seems very normal.... Maybe not everyone's experience, but certainly not unusual. I think you do want to be careful, though, to write it with balance. Be careful to use your own heartache without drowning the reader in it. Hope that is somewhat helpful.

RaggedEdge · May 22, 2013

Another one-sided romance, 'coming of age' story is I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith. Lots of inner turmoil well handled.

Renée A. Price · May 26, 2013

That sounds familiar...

Yes, I have been there more than once when I was younger and it hurt a lot! A lot! I think I learned a thing or two with that experience, though. This could serve as a learning process for your character too.

Belle_91 said:
Has anyone else built up a person in their head? For example there's a cute guy or girl that you notice in one of your classes or at work, and you kind of build them up in your head? You daydream about being together and taking long romantic walks on the beach and whatnot...Sadly, I did do this last year, but I was wondering if anyone had done something similar like when they were in their teens

lolchemist · May 26, 2013

There is one book that I really liked, I'm on my cell right now so I can't look it up easily but I'll tell you tonight! It was really good!

Belle_91 · May 26, 2013

The worst part is that I'm 22 and I did this to myself this past fall. I feel like such an idiot, especially when I found out he didn't like me back.

He was--and still is--quiet handsome, and it hurts when I see him because he lives in my building.

lolchemist · May 26, 2013

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0152066438/?tag=absowrit-20 HERE IT IS!!! Sorry it took me forever to find! It's a great story and I don't want to ruin the twist so I'll say no more!!

JRehnay · May 26, 2013

kuwisdelu said:
Hot damn, I'm gonna have to read this one now.

Ahhh! You must! They made it into a movie, too <3

Edit: And to address the OP, though I can't think of any one-sided novels (at least right now...) I do know there are lots of songs covering the topic. Music is always a huge inspiration for me and maybe it is inappropriate to suggest checking out that venue, but I do believe it might help.

Here's a great one: Ginny Blackmore's "Bones"

KSavoie · May 26, 2013

I think that people inevitably do this. Everyone builds people up in their mind before they meet them. The key is to realize that you'll do this and in the end still be open minded to the fact that this person may be completely different than what you expected.

Renée A. Price · May 27, 2013

My heart goes out to you. Don't feel attached to the fact you are 22, this can happen to anyone no matter how old they are (my opinion).
I normally find myself inspired to write when facing difficult situations like that. Hopefully, it will help you write your story.

Belle_91 said:
The worst part is that I'm 22 and I did this to myself this past fall. I feel like such an idiot, especially when I found out he didn't like me back. He was--and still is--quiet handsome, and it hurts when I see him because he lives in my building.

Lady Ice · May 28, 2013

I think Stargirl is about this.

A film example would be 500 Days of Summer, although I don't like the film myself.

I think everybody's had that one-sided relationship. A lecturer at university once told us that in every relationship there is the lover and the one who is loved. That may be debatable but I think there's some truth there.

Renée A. Price · May 28, 2013

Lady Ice said:
A lecturer at university once told us that in every relationship there is the lover and the one who is loved. That may be debatable but I think there's some truth there.

Most of the times I tend to agree with this!

Ann-Marita · May 30, 2013

I can definitely relate to the one-sided relationship! I was in that situation many times in my 20s. Turns out I just hadn't met the right guy yet.

And the experiences definitely gave me material for my writing.

One Sided Relationships in YA

With her nose stuck in a book

All I Ever Wanted Was The World

Pammie

With her nose stuck in a book

With her nose stuck in a book

With her nose stuck in a book

slugging through

Attack me with everything you have.

Bless Your Heart

Revolutionize the World

I can do this

I can do this

Shooting stars.

With her nose stuck in a book

Shooting stars.

My cats don't let me sleep.

Makes useful distinctions