Dealing with "when are you going to be done?"

Laura J · Mar 19, 2013

Many friends and family members know I'm writing and hoping to someday be published. I know I'm a long ways off from being done. I've drafted and am editing /revising two books. I'm pretty proud of myself for doing that in1.5 years.

Recently, I started a new idea. I'm world building, plotting, I love this part. I'll start drafting soon, when I get my plot laid out. However, before, I told myself that I wouldn't start something new until these two were edited and query ready. But what if these books weren't meant to be the ones I query? I'm getting a little hassled from spouseman, my folks and close friends about never finishing. Heck, I'm still learning how to write. I KNOW these aren't there yet. I've only been at this for such a short time.

How can I explain it to them, this writing process. My mom keeps asking when I'm 'turning these in'. I thought it was kind of cute, like an assignment or something, but it is frustrating. They have read the books and gee of course they love them and think they are fabulous, like my family should. But, really, I don't take their word for it. I have betas I'm working with and they haven't mentioned them being ready. So....

It isn't that I don't want to finish, I just know that I need to learn more about writing and develop myself as a writer first. They say the books are ready, but as much as I'd love to believe that, I know in my heart that they just aren't ready. And may not be. It may be the next one. I've tried to explain that if you send them out, and they are rejected, that's it.

Also, how many projects do you work on at once? In different phases?

Anyone deal with these thoughts of your own or love ones?
Thanks

rwm4768 · Mar 19, 2013

I've experienced the same thing. All my family and friends have told me I should go get my books published. I tried once a year ago, and it was obvious I wasn't ready. In retrospect, I cringe at some of the basic mistakes I made back then.

If you're young, you still have time to work on the craft. At some point, you might even realize you can make those stories even more awesome if you rewrite them. As much as I'd like to be published soon, writing isn't a race. You want to produce the best product you can, and that might require long, serious study of the craft.

Cella · Mar 19, 2013

Tell them, "Books aren't like babies, with specific gestation periods."

Although....they can take on a life of their own and deprive you of sleep, and consume all you're energy...

Laura J · Mar 19, 2013

Not so much young. I'm 48. I re-read what I wrote a year ago. Yikes! I have improved. I don't have unlimited time, but I do feel I can work on it, learn aNd get something query ready within the next year or so. I'm just tired of the questions and the pushing. Plus, they all seem to want to analyze me.Are you afraid of success? No. Lack self confidence? No. I'm pretty self aware and realize that I need to grow. I want the right words so they understand my process.

DavidBrett · Mar 20, 2013

I know how you feel

My brother used to get frustrated at me, saying I never finished anything, and that if I did, I'd have a whole bookshelf of published titles by now. So naive...

Not to mention a certain young boy beta who keeps demanding EF 2 when 1 is still not ready

Dave

Laura J · Mar 20, 2013

DavidBrett said:
I know how you feel My brother used to get frustrated at me, saying I never finished anything, and that if I did, I'd have a whole bookshelf of published titles by now. So naive...

Not to mention a certain young boy beta who keeps demanding EF 2 when 1 is still not ready

Dave

Yep!! He is. I wish he were as excited by my book as yours. You are much more his style.

DavidBrett · Mar 20, 2013

I can send him what I've written so far if he wants to be a part of the very first impressions feedback

Back on topic; it takes time to get to a level where publication is more likely, same as with any skill and its associated payoff/goal. I remember reading somewhere that to be an expert in any talent or skill, including writing, takes somewhere around 100,000 hours to achieve. Most of us haven't reached that yet, so don't give up hope! You're not alone.

Dave

mccardey · Mar 20, 2013

I always say: it should be finished by August. I just never say which August.

geminirising · Mar 20, 2013

Funny, in my world, I'M the one putting all the pressure on myself to finish/publish.

My husband is the one telling me to slow down, focus on my craft, and make sure that I'm writing the best possible book.

DavidBrett · Mar 20, 2013

mccardey said:
I always say: it should be finished by August. I just never say which August.

Lol, that's brilliant! I'll need to use that next time someone bugs me (not Ben). And seeing as how I'm working on several projects at once this time, its gonna be a LOOOOOOT of Augusts...

summerb · Mar 20, 2013

Yeah, that's frustrating. Makes me wish I hadn't even mentioned it to certain people. A guy at my work asks me about once a week. Gee, no I haven't been published since last week, thanks for asking.. But make sure to check next week too!

Seriously though, one thing you said did strike me - don't wait for your betas to tell you the books are ready. Someone else recently asked a similar question here and everyone pretty much agreed that as a beta, you will always find things to nitpick and suggest. We assume that's why you want us to read. Most will never tell you it's ready because they don't think it's their place. My suggestion is that if the feedback you are getting back seems minor, or if you feel the other two are ready, then maybe you are. You can only redraft so many times.. (At least I keep telling myself that.. but.. then again.. I just have So Much to work on

Good luck!

I'll make sure to check back next week if you're published yet

DanielaTorre · Mar 22, 2013

Nobody at home knows I write, and I don't care much for sharing until I reach a point where I need an extra pair of eyes. Only then did I share, and only when my writing is solid enough and I'm confident enough to share it. To me, that means third or even fourth draft.

After my first writing endeavor, I learned not to tell anybody I write. It adds unnecessary pressure and bias opinion. During my second writing endeavor (and current), I didn't tell a soul. It help me finish. I know this is going to sound terrible, but have you considered a fib? If your family asks again, just tell them that those other two are just warm-ups and that you've dedicated yourself to something else. That way they well lay off you and the pressure will be gone.

Also, Summer is right. Nobody is going to tell you you're book is ready. When the negative feedback is minor or minor corrections are in order, then perhaps then you are ready.

Don't let your family push you. Mine keep asking me when I'm going to finish college. I just end up telling them whenever I have the time. That's it. They're your family and they love you. Don't let it get you down.

Sophia · Mar 22, 2013

Laura J said:
I'm getting a little hassled from spouseman, my folks and close friends about never finishing. Heck, I'm still learning how to write. I KNOW these aren't there yet. I've only been at this for such a short time.

How can I explain it to them, this writing process.

This was shared here recently. It's Ira Glass' advice for beginners, in illustrated form, and might be a good way of showing your viewpoint to your friends and family.

veinglory · Mar 22, 2013

You might consider doing some shorter projects for magazines or anthologies. It is fun and makes them shut up for a while.

Debbie V · Mar 26, 2013

veinglory said:
You might consider doing some shorter projects for magazines or anthologies. It is fun and makes them shut up for a while.

If only you could guarantee those would sell. The difficulty is that people who don't write don't get that it's a craft and an art and a business.

Ask your friends when they'll "insert lofty professional goal". Turn their answers back on them.

Make teacher of the year, be promoted to VP, earn six (should that be adjusted for inflation?) figures. Force them to consider how much learning and experience goes into what they do. Then remind them that you are not a full time author, unless you are.

This works even better with a hobby. When will you spot a rare bird or name a new asteroid or win the national Scrabble championship? You get the idea.

When my dad asks "How's your writing going?" I tell him "slowly." It's a darn slow field to be in after all.

veinglory · Mar 26, 2013

The same "only if you can guarantee it will sell" argument could be made by the people waiting to see some outcome from the novel. If you are representing this as a publishing career, people will expect outcomes. If you represent it as a hobby, they might not (I guess). I can only say that showing some short form success meant my friends started to "believe" I was a writer and they became less critical.

Laura J · Mar 26, 2013

I have no idea how to write a short story. That seems really hard. I'm still learning about novels.

That's what I've been saying. I'm still learning how to write. They say I'm being a perfectionist, which isn't true. There are portions that are just messed up and they haven't read those parts yet. They've read the very revised first two thirds.

Now I'm starting a new project and I'm getting, 'what about the others?' For now, I'm having some medical issues and take medicine that makes editing and revising hard. I'm in a good place to draft and dream, so I have that reason.

I've also learned to keep my mouth shut. Okay, I haven't learned that, but I'm working on it.

EndlessDestiny · Mar 31, 2013

I've got the opposite problem. My dad thinks that since I haven't finished and published a book yet (and I have finished some, they've just been put away for the moment), that means I'll never get published.

bonitakale · Apr 1, 2013

Debbie V said:
Ask your friends when they'll "insert lofty professional goal". Turn their answers back on them.

Make teacher of the year, be promoted to VP, earn six (should that be adjusted for inflation?) figures. Force them to consider how much learning and experience goes into what they do.

I was going to say, "Ask me in a decade or so," but I like Debbie's answer better. "I don't know; when are you going to make senior vice president?"

veinglory · Apr 1, 2013

Well, if you are still learning how to write and developing your skills, maybe that is what you need to tell them?

Debbie V · Apr 1, 2013

The real thing is to stop worrying about what they say and think. A first novel is a slog - you are learning the form while writing the book. In every other profession, you intern. No one stands over your shoulder and helps you make that cut that saves the life of your patient. (Be glad your removing words and not an appendix). We learn through practice, but for the most part we do it alone. (AW etc. not withstanding.) This may take time for your family and friends to understand. Mine took a couple of years.

Be passionate. They love you and will find a small amount of that passion contagious. When you do succeed, they'll know exactly how hard you worked and cheer all the harder for it. Meanwhile, casually mention those little conference stories you hear about how long so and so took to write her first book and how long it took her to get published. Let them know you aren't alone in this.

Laura J · Apr 1, 2013

veinglory said:
Well, if you are still learning how to write and developing your skills, maybe that is what you need to tell them?

I do tell them that. I don't think they get it. Which is fine. They read my work and say it is ready, amazing and wonderful, which I know proves they have no idea, since there is a huge plot hole in the middle of one. I think they are not actually finishing it. I'm tempted to write something crazy and way off in the middle to see if they were really reading it. Maybe a little 50 shades in the middle of my MG book. JK.

I started NaNoWriMo (I actually started Saturday) and will hopefully have a nice third piece to work on editing. I can tell I have learned so much already. This one is going so differently than the other two. I have it plotted with Save the Cat and it is flowing rather nicely. I'm not making as many goofs along the way. I feel in getting better.i thinks have a knack for writing. But a knack won't get me published. Hard work and learning will. I told them that the first HP took what 7 years to write. That seemed to settle them all down.

My goal, MY goal, is to have a piece ready to query by my birthday July 18th.

Thanks everybody.

ArachnePhobia · Apr 1, 2013

I used to beta for an online buddy who had the best answer to this ever:

"Whenever anyone asks, I tell them I'll be finished a day before the sun turns into a lump of coal. That way, I can always claim I beat my deadline."

CAWriter · Apr 20, 2013

Laura J said:
My goal, MY goal, is to have a piece ready to query by my birthday July 18th.

That's a really smart approach. As others have said, there's always more that can be done on any project. Sometimes you have to know when it's complete enough to see if it resonates with an editor or agent, and just get it out there. Giving yourself a deadline gives you a stopping point.

Not quite a year ago, I sent out a story that I wrote initially for a personal reason. I realized it had some commercial potential, so I decided to submit it even though it's outside my usual genre and I knew it probably wasn't in its final format should someone decide to publish it. Life has gotten in the way of writing for several years, and this being a short project, I thought it would be a good way to get me truly back into the game without having to slog my way through a full-length book, rusty as I feel.

So I tightened it up and sent it to my agent. He started sending it out last summer/fall. We got a verbal offer right around the first of the year and I'm currently waiting for my revised contract to come so I can sign it and make it official. My editor has asked for some significant revisions, so I'm glad that I didn't hold things up by polishing my version to a mirror-like shine.

I'm sure you can find some kind of "publication timeline" article to share with your family if they start asking when you'll be "doing something with" your projects. Even once you finish your part this go-round, there is so much waiting to come--waiting that you won't have any influence over. Maybe if they get a glimpse of all the steps and how much waiting there is, they'll sort of forget about it and leave you alone.

Best of luck hitting your July goal.

JQ377 · May 4, 2013

My mom is the same way. I always just kind of shrug it off at this point and say that I'm working on it.

Dealing with "when are you going to be done?"

Odessa Quinn

practical experience, FTW

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