Checkmate

Justin K · 02-05-2013, 07:48 AM

Remember that scene (FROM TV) where the main characters chat over the chessboard and then one gets checkmated just before the scene ends? Can I use this formula in my script and still respect myself in the morning?

Williebee · 02-05-2013, 08:03 AM

Sure, as long as it works. If, reading through it, the reader sees it coming three lines before you get there? It didn't work.

Dorky · 02-05-2013, 09:23 AM

I don't see why not.

Just make sure that if you mention any movement of pieces that what you've described is not an illegal move

PortableHal · 02-06-2013, 06:17 AM

Nope, because you already don't respect the idea of using it. If you end up going with the scene, you'll only remove it later.

Save yourself the grief and look for something else.

Bartholomew · 02-06-2013, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PortableHal

Nope, because you already don't respect the idea of using it. If you end up going with the scene, you'll only remove it later.

Save yourself the grief and look for something else.

Having a functional understanding of tropes does not mean you don't respect what they do. It means you're analytic enough to notice them.

lolchemist · 02-06-2013, 11:10 AM

No matter how you write the scene you're always going to have one reader who goes 'Ughh!!! Really? Checkmate?? Really?' as long as you're okay with that, do whatever you want.

RichardGarfinkle · 02-06-2013, 03:44 PM

Just so long as you don't have the following sequence.

Player A: {Clever statements} Check.

Player B: {Cleverer Statements} Checkmate.

This never ever happens.

More seriously, if you do use the standard checkmate trope what you are showing is that your players are not that good. Games between really good players are rarely played out to mate. Usually if one player gains enough of an advantage the other player resigns.

shaldna · 02-06-2013, 04:37 PM

So long as you understand the difference between check and checkmate.

onesecondglance · 02-06-2013, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RichardGarfinkle

Just so long as you don't have the following sequence.

Player A: {Clever statements} Check.

Player B: {Cleverer Statements} Checkmate.

This never ever happens.

More seriously, if you do use the standard checkmate trope what you are showing is that your players are not that good. Games between really good players are rarely played out to mate. Usually if one player gains enough of an advantage the other player resigns.

My favourite is this one:

Player A: {clever statements} Check.

Player B: {stands up to leave, as if resigning, also some clever statements - then, as if only just remembering they have to make a move, moves one seemingly insignificant piece} I think that's checkmate.

Player A: Wh-whaaaaa!?

Cyia · 02-06-2013, 05:07 PM

You can always do a variation of it. Player A never wins at chess with Player B, but at the end of the novel, when Player A has accomplished his goal, Player B finds (or gets in the mail) a king lying on its side. "Checkmate" implied.

Justin K · 02-07-2013, 11:31 PM

These are all good observations for how not to do the scene. I actually love chess, so naturally I'd like to incorporate it into a screenplay I'm working on. I think I want to do a better job portraying the game, like having the characters play through a full game amidst plot related dialogue. Then they can play at each other with metaphoric moves relating to the plot, and get into a fight over something obscure.

For instance.. half way through the game:

Person A: sacrifices valuable piece
Person B: ridicules person A for not caring what he loses if he thinks it will benefit him
Person A: asks what thats supposed to mean

..game becomes more furious, subsequently ending in stalemate, or a board flip, or a fist fight (just something more interesting than checkmate)

Buffysquirrel · 02-08-2013, 12:25 AM

Hmm. *quietly removes scene from trunk novel*

Wasn't actually chess. But hmmm anyway.

Samsonet · 02-09-2013, 06:01 AM

I know that it's supposed to symbolize the battle of wits the players are having, but I always thought it would be amusing for the smarter person to win the argument but lose the game. Like this:
Player A: <clever statements>
Player B: <cleverer statements> Check. <stands up to leave>
Player A: <speechless, but moves a piece. Meekly> Checkmate.

benbenberi · 02-09-2013, 07:28 PM

Or how about:
Player A: <clever statement> Check
Player B: I didn't see that coming! <talks about some other topic of mutual interest & frowns at the board in perplexity>
Player A: <very clever statement about the other topic>
<brief dialogue on the other topic, one or two rounds of moves, Player A is confident & clever>
Player B: Checkmate!
Player A: <speechless>

James D. Macdonald · 02-09-2013, 07:30 PM

Player A: {witty statement} Check.

Someone unexpected rushes into the room and delivers totally unexpected news to Player A.

Player B: Checkmate.

(The game is abandoned.)

bearilou · 02-10-2013, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justin K

..game becomes more furious, subsequently ending in stalemate, or a board flip, or a fist fight (just something more interesting than checkmate)

I'm a huge fan of full-contact chess.

02-05-2013, 07:48 AM	#1
Justin K figuring it all out Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: California Posts: 70	Checkmate Remember that scene (FROM TV) where the main characters chat over the chessboard and then one gets checkmated just before the scene ends? Can I use this formula in my script and still respect myself in the morning?

02-05-2013, 08:03 AM	#2
Williebee Assume Good Intentions SuperModerator Join Date: May 2007 Location: between the 1 and the 0 Posts: 15,382	Sure, as long as it works. If, reading through it, the reader sees it coming three lines before you get there? It didn't work. __________________ "Assume Good Intentions." Read the Newbie Guide. "I Found A Knife" "We're writers; we own our words. Please choose them to add light and not just heat." "Bad advice is cunning because it dresses up as whatever it is new writers want to hear." -- Alex Adams

02-05-2013, 09:23 AM	#3
Dorky practical experience, FTW Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Texas, USA Posts: 301	I don't see why not. Just make sure that if you mention any movement of pieces that what you've described is not an illegal move __________________ Currently working on: Radiant (I seriously need a better title for this)

02-06-2013, 06:17 AM	#4
PortableHal Not-so-new Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: The lovely mountains of Arizona Posts: 671	Nope, because you already don't respect the idea of using it. If you end up going with the scene, you'll only remove it later. Save yourself the grief and look for something else. __________________ We're at Mars Needs Writers.com "The YA crossover genre is probably best known for the love-it-hate-it-please-God-make-it-stop train wreck that was the Twilight saga, and every element I’ve mentioned above appears in Meyer’s books. Here’s why The Atheist’s Daughter is orders of magnitude better" -- Cassandra Parkin

02-06-2013, 11:10 AM	#6
lolchemist Feed me green grapes. Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 859	No matter how you write the scene you're always going to have one reader who goes 'Ughh!!! Really? Checkmate?? Really?' as long as you're okay with that, do whatever you want. __________________ Current WIP (YA Fantasy) - Book 1: 53,467 of 75,000 x Book 2: 10,512 of 75,000 x Book 3: 09,962 of 75,000 x Book 4: 12,490 of 75,000

02-06-2013, 03:44 PM	#7
RichardGarfinkle How does one know that? AW Moderator Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Chicago, Il Posts: 4,870	Just so long as you don't have the following sequence. Player A: {Clever statements} Check. Player B: {Cleverer Statements} Checkmate. This never ever happens. More seriously, if you do use the standard checkmate trope what you are showing is that your players are not that good. Games between really good players are rarely played out to mate. Usually if one player gains enough of an advantage the other player resigns. __________________ Words exist because of meaning; once you've gotten the meaning you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can have a word with him? ----Chuang-Tzu Overdue Considerations -- my blog Now on Smashwords

02-06-2013, 04:37 PM	#8
shaldna The cake is a lie. But still cake. Join Date: May 2009 Location: Belfast Posts: 6,964	So long as you understand the difference between check and checkmate. __________________ TORCHWOOD - where the slash is canon Yes, I read Twilight. Yes, I hate it. No, I don't have to give you a reason why.

02-06-2013, 05:07 PM	#10
Cyia Rewriting My Destiny Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Brillig in the slithy toves... Posts: 12,637	You can always do a variation of it. Player A never wins at chess with Player B, but at the end of the novel, when Player A has accomplished his goal, Player B finds (or gets in the mail) a king lying on its side. "Checkmate" implied. __________________ 04/23/13 ----------10/08/13 ON SALE NOW!** (^Preorder)**

02-07-2013, 11:31 PM	#11
Justin K figuring it all out Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: California Posts: 70	These are all good observations for how not to do the scene. I actually love chess, so naturally I'd like to incorporate it into a screenplay I'm working on. I think I want to do a better job portraying the game, like having the characters play through a full game amidst plot related dialogue. Then they can play at each other with metaphoric moves relating to the plot, and get into a fight over something obscure. For instance.. half way through the game: Person A: sacrifices valuable piece Person B: ridicules person A for not caring what he loses if he thinks it will benefit him Person A: asks what thats supposed to mean ..game becomes more furious, subsequently ending in stalemate, or a board flip, or a fist fight (just something more interesting than checkmate)

02-08-2013, 12:25 AM	#12
Buffysquirrel Possibly not a real squirrel Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Coldest corner of the living room, United Kingdom Posts: 4,699	Hmm. quietly removes scene from trunk novel Wasn't actually chess. But hmmm anyway. __________________ Writing from a female point of view seems to be generally regarded as something more like writing from the perspective of a deer: you might get points for novelty, but it'd be impossible to get right, and who really wants to hear a deer narrate a story, anyway? Jennifer duBois Damn the prologue, full speed ahead! Laurie McLean, Foreword Literary

02-09-2013, 06:01 AM	#13
Samsonet Star light, star bright... Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: See my avatar? The next galaxy over. Posts: 67	I know that it's supposed to symbolize the battle of wits the players are having, but I always thought it would be amusing for the smarter person to win the argument but lose the game. Like this: Player A: <clever statements> Player B: <cleverer statements> Check. <stands up to leave> Player A: <speechless, but moves a piece. Meekly> Checkmate. __________________ Please note that I am just a kid and, while I try my hardest to get things right, I say a lot of stupid things. Please, please let me know so that I can fix them :<

02-09-2013, 07:28 PM	#14
benbenberi practical experience, FTW Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Connecticut Posts: 610	Or how about: Player A: <clever statement> Check Player B: I didn't see that coming! <talks about some other topic of mutual interest & frowns at the board in perplexity> Player A: <very clever statement about the other topic> <brief dialogue on the other topic, one or two rounds of moves, Player A is confident & clever> Player B: Checkmate! Player A: <speechless>

02-09-2013, 07:30 PM	#15
James D. Macdonald Your Genial Uncle Absolute Sage Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 21,868	Player A: {witty statement} Check. Someone unexpected rushes into the room and delivers totally unexpected news to Player A. Player B: Checkmate. (The game is abandoned.) __________________ Ghosts and Legends A collection of fantasy stories by Debra Doyle and James D. Macdonald Multiple electronic formats

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