Looking for a volunteer ...

[jay-w]

... to take a quick look at the first chapter of a novel that I'm working on. This is intended to be a YA novel, but I'm not sure of the sub-genre: "Social commentary" maybe or "current events"

The one sentence summary of the story is: "A deeply religious high-school girl befriends a boy who has been falsely branded as a violent sexual predator."

At this point, I'm not worried about nitty-gritty details like commas vs. semicolons; I just need to know if the characters seem believable and if the first chapter leaves you wanting to read more, or if it leaves you searching frantically for a trashcan.

The first chapter is about 13 single-spaced pages. I would be happy to read something of yours in return, although I'm probably not much good with vampires or dragons, etc.

Please feel free to PM me. TIA. jay-w

[Maryn]

You know, AW has a Share Your Work board which is designed for this sort of thing. All you need is 50 posts which legitimately engage with the community (no drive-by posts) to put your work there.

And since I'm accustomed to playing the heavy, can I suggest that rather than hoping your potential readers can ignore errors in writing mechanics, you make the story as free of mistakes as you can? I'm not the only person who can't see the forest when there's too many trees.

It sounds to me like what you need more than reader feedback is the encouragement to keep writing, to believe in yourself and your story enough to do the hard work. Hell, I can give you that without reading a thing. Even though I'm not a YA reader or writer, the basic premise of good girl-bad boy can work well, especially when something unexpected results from the mix. What is it about each character which gives them something beyond the stereotype? What do you plan to do with it?

Maryn, pleased to meet you

[Chase]

I second Maryn's suggestion to make what you'd like read as well spelled and punctuated as possible. Since your post indicates you know how semicolons differ from commas, I suspect it may be.

One of our grammarians standing tall among us advises, "Difficulty with punctuation can often be a signal that deeper problems exist." It's certainly been my experience as a longtime writing teacher and editor.

A stand against the falsely accused sounds like a story young adults will love.

[jay-w]

Originally Posted by Chase

I ... make what you'd like read as well spelled and punctuated as possible. Since your post indicates you know how semicolons differ from commas, I suspect it may be...

Exactly! That was the point that I was trying to make in my original post. I'm reasonably confident that there are no (or very few) problems with spelling, grammar, or punctuation. Therefore, anybody who reads this should not have to waste their time with micro-editing, and could just give me some feedback regarding the big picture: Does the first chapter hook the reader adequately? Are the characters believable? Is the dialog realistic? etc.

Anyhow, thanks for the advice!