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#1 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: May 2009
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 296
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For Those Who Read WHEN SHE WOKE [by Hillary Jordan]
After a brilliant beginning, the story launches into a lot of backstory, which is necessary to explain why Hannah is being punished as a red. But the backstory also includes quite a bit on Cole, Becca's husband. Maybe as much as twenty pages. Obviously, this was to set up Hannah running to Becca's place once Hannah left the Straight Path Center.
Hillary Jordan could've provided this backstory while Hannah was en route to Becca's, but instead she included the backstory much earlier on. Why do you think she did this? My guess is that if Jordan had provided the backstory while Hannah was en route, the story would've felt less real. That the Jordan was making up something to create tension on the fly. But Jordan paid a price. I got really bored hearing about Cole so early on in the story and for so many pages. I almost stopped reading. So, why did you think Jordan made the choice she did, and do you think it was a wise one? |
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#2 |
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Tell it like it Is
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: With my cats
Posts: 7,501
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I'm lost. Is this a book you're reading and you want to start a discussion? If so, I think you might be in the wrong forum. Down younger at the front page is a book discussion forum.
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#3 |
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a bookish one
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: 500 km south of the Arctic Circle
Posts: 204
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I think that what you point out is the least of this book's problems. Since the info on Cole comes early on, the reader won't mind so much since the society that is revealed is fascinating - plus the early chapters are really well written. Also, Jordan needed to set up Cole as a bad guy early on to make us understand, subconsciously at least, that there will be little help received from Becca and the family.
There were so many things with the plot that went the wrong way in this book... I caught myself thinking 'no no no, where is her editor?' on several occasions. Hopefully her next novel will be more like 'Mudbound', which was one of my favorite reads this year.
__________________
My current goal: Have at least one queryworthy novel ready before I turn 40 (I am not anywhere near 29 anymore ;-). My projects: NaNoWriMo2012 - YA dystopian: 1st draft done, 70k. Revision awaits. Untitled - YA contemporary: 2nd draft done, 80k. Revising, editing... Bleeding Heart - historical fiction: briefly outlined, researching. Story is brewing. |
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#4 | |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: May 2009
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 296
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#5 | |
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a bookish one
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: 500 km south of the Arctic Circle
Posts: 204
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Quote:
But from what I remember, I was not too happy about: - the lesbian twist, which seemed forced and weird. Hannah had all the wrong views on homosexuality, but then she had to be attracted to and have sex with another woman (while being on the run and in grave danger) to realize this? It seemed rather out of character. - early on she came across as a character who was opposed to much of her society's views on things, while later she lost her nerve and became subservient. I realize it was probably easier to be critical while she was inside that society, but her change was strange. - when they were betrayed, everything about the betrayer screamed 'run' from the very start, and Hannah clearly picked up on it and yet did nothing. The other Hannah would have. - romantic sub-plot between two other characters - Hannah's friend and one of the helpers. Flat and construed. And then he went off to rescue her after she was kidnapped (and, I thought, probably killed off quickly in accordance with the kidnappers' brutality) and we hear that he succeeded...Unnecessary subplot! - too much action towards the end. Last 100 or so pages? A rush of all sorts of things happening at a pace so fast it seemed unreal. - Hannah is unresolved about her 'crime'. All that being said, there were many things I really liked here. The whole melachroming idea, the way religion ruled society and how women were subjugated.
__________________
My current goal: Have at least one queryworthy novel ready before I turn 40 (I am not anywhere near 29 anymore ;-). My projects: NaNoWriMo2012 - YA dystopian: 1st draft done, 70k. Revision awaits. Untitled - YA contemporary: 2nd draft done, 80k. Revising, editing... Bleeding Heart - historical fiction: briefly outlined, researching. Story is brewing. |
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#6 | |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: May 2009
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 296
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Quote:
One of things that bugged me was how passive she was, only finally doing something of her own accord right near the end. Also, the author threw in a bunch of statements near the end about much Hannah had changed, but I don't think she changed much at all. Despite these flaws I still the writing overall was quite good. I was pretty much in line with Hannah's feelings throughout. |
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#7 |
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You'll have to run faster than that
SuperModerator
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the watchtower
Posts: 11,482
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The first three or so chapters were beautifully written. They were tight and clean and pacey, and I loved them.
Then the book changed tone completely. It became little more than an accounting of almost random events, the characters were suddenly flat and dull, and they did things which were completely unbelievable. When I read the book it seemed to me as though two different people had written it, the differences were so marked. I have to wonder how much editing it got, and by whom; and if the author workshopped the beginning of it, but ran out of time to tighten up the remainder. It started off as a great book; it ended as a really poor one. I was hugely disappointed by it.
__________________
I blog at How Publishing Really Works and The Self-Publishing Review, and I tweet as @hprw. See you around. |
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#8 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 282
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I really would like to read this book. Given the anti-abortion movement in America gaining momentum, and the laws passed in North Dakota and Arkansas, I feel like this country is headed to a sort of dystopia. Maybe not, but is scary to see what is happening. I hope to read When She Woke to see Hillary Jordan's take on anti-abortion, but if it is that poorly written, maybe I shouldn't read it - which is disappointing.
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#9 | |
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a bookish one
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: 500 km south of the Arctic Circle
Posts: 204
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Quote:
So yes, you should read it.
__________________
My current goal: Have at least one queryworthy novel ready before I turn 40 (I am not anywhere near 29 anymore ;-). My projects: NaNoWriMo2012 - YA dystopian: 1st draft done, 70k. Revision awaits. Untitled - YA contemporary: 2nd draft done, 80k. Revising, editing... Bleeding Heart - historical fiction: briefly outlined, researching. Story is brewing. |
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#10 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 282
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In that case, I'll give it a shot and see if I could finish it or not.
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