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Old 11-22-2012, 07:11 AM   #1
New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin
sttarzz99's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: "Living here in Allentown..."
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Beta Wanted - YA Fantasy - Will swap

Hi eveyone,

I'm looking for a beta reader for the first 10 chapters of my manuscript (aprox 25,000 words). This section has now been revised 3 times and I'm at the point where I need some outside opinions. I need big picture crits, but will gladly accept line-by-line edits.

As I finish revising subsequent chapters, I will have more available for beta-reading.

Here is my rough query:

Angel’s do not exist. Or maybe they do somewhere in Heaven -- if you believe that sort of thing -- but they do not go walking around middle-of-nowhere-towns like Bellefonte, PA saving damsel’s in distress.

At least, that’s what 16-year-old Roxy Lockhart thought before she was almost abducted and is rescued by the mysterious Dethen Therone. Carrying strange, intricately carved weapons, Dethen takes on her abductors and in the fight that ensues, Roxy is witness to the most impossible of events, as massive, jet-black wings unfurl from Dethen’s back.

As the only known mortal with the ability to see an angel’s true form, Roxy must ask the reclusive Dethen for help and learns that those who hunt her are the soulless and immortal Fallen. Unsure if he can protect her, Dethen takes Roxy to the Guardians at Winghaven Court, warriors dedicated to protecting mortals from the Fallen.

All Roxy wants is to find out why the Fallen are after her and for the threat to be eliminated so she can return home safely. But as Dethen’s tragic past is revealed and Evania, a young girl with the ability to see the future, tells Roxy of her frightening destiny, Roxy realizes going to Winghaven might have been a mistake. Now she must choose between keeping Dethen safe and her only chance at regaining a normal life.

BOUND BY FATE is a 63,300 word young adult novel. It combines elements of fantasy, suspense, romance and heartbreak and will appeal to readers of blah, blah, blah…

Again, that is a rough query, but I should probably finish my manuscript before wasting any more time on the query

I will gladly swap for YA fantasy, paranormal, SF or similar.

If you are interested, PM me and we can work out the details.


If it wasn't for procrastination, I wouldn't get anything done

WIP - Bound by Fate
YA Paranormal Suspense
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Old 11-22-2012, 07:22 AM   #2
Cadence of Her Last Breath
Ms_Sassypants's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In your imaginary world
Posts: 143
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I'm interested!! Will you swap? I'll PM you in a minute... I'm quite anal though, so I'll give you a comprehensive copyedit, line by line style.
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